Saturday 29 July 2017

WCW Spring Stampede 2000 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews!, where everyone wants Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar 2! It is time for WCW’s Spring Stampede 2000, WCW had reset with Bischoff and Russo in charge over Kevin Sullivan. On the surface, it made sense having the man who seemingly created The Attitude Era and Bischoff who made WCW great in the late 90s. No champions, all championships are up for grabs the main feud going forward is old school vs new school. The Millionaire’s Club against The New Blood. WCW’s chance to fight back against the WWF who are dominating under The Rock and Triple H. Will this be a hit? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

An actual good promo package focusing on Russo’s war with Ric Flair and Bischoff’s war against Hogan. New Blood and Millionaire’s Club battling it out, the first thing that pisses me off is Jeff Jarrett is battling for the world championship when we have the likes of Sting and Scott Steiner battling for The United States Championship.

(WCW Tag Team Championship Tournament Match) The Mamalukes W/ Disco Inferno vs Team Package W/ Elizabeth

I have been digging the Mamalukes as the pay per views have passed, their gimmick amuses me greatly. Anyways, we have the older spotlight seekers Luger and Flair as the babyfaces in this match which I am sure made sense to everyone watching the show. Also, Flair is in street clothes because it is meant to be a street fight. I would like to think Flair just did not give a fuck anymore, the mullet had to go too. Before the match even begins, we see Russo and his baseball bat, Russo calls the match unfair and The Harris Brothers are added to the match, it is now four on two.

The heels attack Team Package, The Mamalukes rough up Flair while The Harris Brothers dominate Luger. Luger and Flair begin chopping and clotheslining the jabronis that are sharing the ring with them. Back suplex on Stamboli, Figure Four on Stamboli. Flair stops and eats a superkick from Vito, spinning back elbow by Vito. Double big boot by The Harris Brothers, corner clothesline by Ron. Here is Don, Don stomps Flair. Flair elbows Don, Don yanks Flair off the top rope. Tag to Ron, Flair dodges. Luger tags in, referee misses the tag. Four on one beatdown on Flair, Disco sends Luger into the ringpost.

Elizabeth decks Disco, Stamboli kicks Flair. Disco is kicked out of the arena, The Harris Brothers attack The Mamalukes. Luger gets the hot-tag, clotheslines for everyone. Vito gets nailed in the stomach, Stamboli and Luger remain. Diving clothesline by Stamboli, two for Stamboli. Luger sends Stamboli into Vito, Torture Rack by Luger and Stamoli submits.

Eh, not my idea of a hot opening match. Flair was fun while in the ring but the action was pretty shit. Commentators never picked up The Mamalukes brawling with The Harris Brothers, that did not even play into the finish. And why was Flair in a shirt and jeans? Fuck this opening match hahahaha.

Winners: Team Package over The Mamalukes/The Harris Brothers via Torture Rack!

Mike Awesome & Bam Bam Bigelow

Awesome talks about beating the piss out of Ernest Miller, Bigelow interrupts for God knows why and Awesome beats the piss out of Bigelow. To be fair, Awesome had quite the hype coming from ECW, let us see how they use him for this US tournament.

ManCow vs Jimmy Hart

Mancow was a local radio DJ, Hart attacked ManCow. We have this match, Mancow comes down with a pile of pussy. ManCow calls Hart a piece of shit and a son of a bitch, cool stuff. ManCow jumps and mounts Hart, punching. Hart’s Hail, this big moustached warrior distracts ManCow. Hart low blows ManCow and chokes ManCow. Stomps by Hart, Hart splashes the referee as ManCow shields himself. Hail is in the ring, military press onto the entourage of ManCow. Hart covers, Turd is up though. Turd hands ManCow a chair. Hart is whacked across the back, cover by ManCow for the win. DUD!

Winner: ManCow over Jimmy Hart via Chair Shot!

(WCW US Tournament Match) The Wall vs Scott Steiner

Big Poppa Pump is back Motherfucker! Having made an abomination of a return at the last pay per view, Steiner is up against a well-pushed monster in The Wall. They are also both members of The New Blood, making them both heel and stablemates. This seems like a stupid idea, lock-up with Steiner pushing back The Wall. Knees by Steiner, stomps and forearms by Steiner. The Wall clubs back at Steiner, knees and punches in the corner. Choke by The Wall, low blow and belly to belly suplex by Steiner. Forearms to the back, The Wall elbows and low blows Steiner. Big boot by The Wall, leg drop for two. Throat toss by The Wall, stungun by Steiner. Steiner is whipped into the barricade, The Wall has a table.

Steiner clubs down The Wall, Steiner looks for a suplex. The Wall blocks and plans to Chokeslam Steiner. Eye rake by Steiner, a blind Wall Chokeslams the referee through the table. Steiner wins by DQ!

Wow, Steiner wins by DQ after the announcers talking about referees not doing DQs due to Russo’s rulings. It was stupid already with heels battling it out, I will not call it a total failure due to Scott Steiner being a badass but that was pure shite.

Winner: Scott Steiner over The Wall via DQ!

(WCW US Tournament Match) Mike Awesome vs Bam Bam Bigelow

The Cat was meant to face Awesome but Bigelow took out The Cat. Bigelow is out for revenge so that would make him the babyface? Bigelow jumps Awesome, Awesome boots Bigelow in the ring. Clothesline to the floor and tope suicida by Awesome. Bigelow whips Awesome into the barricade, Awesome elevates Bigelow to the floor. Awesome dives into the crowd, diving clothesline by Awesome for two. Bigelow scoop slams and elbows Awesome, Diving Headbutt by Bigelow. The Cat comes in and kicks Bigelow, Cat begins dancing. Awesome clotheslines Cat and nails an Awesome Splash for the win.

While Awesome looked super impressive with his dives, the credibility and focus on Awesome went so far fucking south I don’t believe what I just saw. Cat kicked Bigelow out of the ring and danced which led to Awesome beating a joke of a wrestler as opposed to someone with a bit of credibility in Bigelow. Imagine an Awesome Bomb on Bigelow, that would have been impressive.

Winner: Mike Awesome over The Cat via Awesome Splash!

Relax Eric Relax/Franchise & Buff

Bischoff is shitting bricks that Hogan will murder him, Russo and Kidman. Russo does not give a damn nor does Kidman, Bischoff continues to freak out. Meanwhile, Franchise and Buff talk about beating the piss out Team Package.

(WCW Tag Team Tournament Match) Buff Bagwell & Shane Douglas vs Harlem Heat 2000 W/ J. Biggs

More heels fighting heels unless I have lost my mind, Douglas and Bagwell come out like babyfaces but they are in The New Blood and my head hurts, fuck this company. Stevie Ray slams Douglas, Big T pummels Bagwell. Stevie Ray misses an elbow, Douglas tags Bagwell. Swinging neckbreaker by Bagwell, right hands by Bagwell. Big T blind tags in, spinebuster and leg drop combination. Back elbow and splash by Bagwell for two, tag to Douglas. Right hands for Harlem Heat 2000, Cash splashes Bagwell. Douglas eats a massive kick to the face, Douglas low blows both. Pittsburgh Plunge on Stevie Ray for the win.

Shitty match, shitty booking, stupid company. No heat, no action, no drama, no nothing. Big T basically watched Stevie Ray get pinned, it seemed like a whole load of shite in that ring. I just do not get the point of any of this stuff, where are all the babyface tag teams?

Winners: Douglas & Bagwell over Harlem Heat 2000 via Pittsburgh Plunge!

(WCW US Tournament Match) Sting vs Booker

Why just have heels vs heels when you can have babyface vs babyface? Side headlock and shoulder block by Booker, hiptoss by Sting. Clubbing blows by Booker, scoop slam by Sting. Clothesline and clothesline to the floor by Sting, Booker is whipped into a cameraman.  Booker flapjacks Sting onto the announce table, back elbow for two. Booker applies a reverse chinlock, Sting fights out to eat a knee to the ribs. Two for Booker, knee drop by Booker for two. Reverse chinlock by Booker, Sting fires up. Knee by Booker, Scissors Kick. Two for Booker, Spinaroonie from Booker. Sting dodges The Harlem Sidekick for a DDT, two for Sting. Booker dodges a Stinger Splash with a kick, crossbody by Sting for two. Booker slides out of a suplex, Sting slides out of Booker’s suplex. Scorpion Death Drop and it is over.

Sting is over like crazy, do not know where to go with Booker after this match. Booker is meant to be a big babyface in the company after that? Looks to me like there is nobody more over than Sting. However, that is the best match that I have seen all night and it could be the only good match I see all night.

Winner: Sting over Booker via Scorpion Death Drop!

(WCW US Tournament Match) Billy Kidman W/ Torrie Wilson vs Vampiro

These two were coming along nicely, Vampiro had the rub from Sting on the last show while Kidman had been solidly pushed since being separated from The Flock. While Kidman could be an underdog United States Championship level babyface, a top level heel was not what Kidman needed to be in his career yet this is what WCW have done with Kidman.

Vampiro chops and clubs Kidman, headbutts and forearms by Vampiro. Corner clotheslines and belly to belly suplex. Vampiro powerbombs Kidman hard, Kidman counters a powerbomb for a facebuster. Mounted punches by Kidman, Kidman scoop slams Vampiro. Slingshot leg drop for two, Vampiro rakes the eyes and attacks Kidman before Kidman sidewalk slams Vampiro. Vampiro suplexes Kidman, uranage slam for two. Kidman counters a powerbomb for a facebuster, two for Kidman. Kidman has Vampiro on the floor, Vampiro is sent knee first into the steel steps.

In the ring, Vampiro kicks the bejesus out of Kidman for two. Armbar by Vampiro, DDT by Kidman. Right hands by Kidman for two, we cut to a car in the back. Here is Hogan, Kidman low blows Vampiro. Kidman clubs on Hogan, Hogan has Kidman by the throat. Kidman is dumped to the floor, right hands by Hogan. Hogan misses throwing the steel steps at Kidman, Kidman is throat tossed onto the announce table. Hogan slams Kidman through the table, Vampiro pins Kidman for the ring.

It was alright before the shenanigans began, why did the referee not disqualify Hogan when The Wall was disqualified earlier for attacking a referee. Does not exactly help Vampiro either, such a side act in the grand scheme of things. Not like the show was great beforehand, I wish it would end.

Winner: Vampiro over Kidman via Hogan Rampage!

(WCW Hardcore Championship Match) Terry Funk vs Norman Smiley ©

Hogan is arrested by police for putting his hands on Bischoff, Terry Taylor tells Terry Funk that Norman Smiley is in catering. It turns out that Smiley is in the men’s bathroom, Funk throws Smiley around the bathroom. Smiley is sprayed with a fire extinguisher, scoop slam on a table. Smiley is covered in cans of Coke, Smiley and Funk fight in the kitchen. Trash can to the head by Smiley, Funk is whipped into a tray. Smiley shoves Funk over, table to the balls. Steel tray to the head, Funk falls head first into a bin. Headbutt by Smiley, Funk fights back with a laptop. Two for Funk, Smiley begins climbing the plumbing of the building. Funk has a chair and a table, Smiley is knocked through the table.

Smiley grabs a chair, Funk is waffled with the chair. Funk continues to take chair shots as they stroll back to the ring, massive shots to the head. Smiley does The Wiggle, Smiley rams Funk off the chair. Smiley rides Funk with the wiggle before a chair shot from Funk, Smiley is on the floor. Funk has a ladder, here comes Dustin Rhodes. Rhodes piledrivers Funk on a chair, Funk kicks a chair into Rhodes’ face. Smiley eats a ladder to the face, Funk drops the ladder onto Smiley and picks up the win.

Kind of entertaining, Smiley was one of those rare good things from WCW at this time, it could have been worse. Once again, we have interference for a feud that I was sure was over and Smiley is a babyface, why would he need or want help from Rhodes, it makes as much sense as Vampiro just taking the win over the beaten Kidman. Nether babyface look good or tough but just look at that, me trying to make sense of this nonsense, I truly have lost my mine.

Winner: Terry Funk over Norman Smiley via Ladder Smash!

(WCW US Tournament Match) Mike Awesome vs Scott Steiner

Well, here we have two heels of the New Blood going at it in the ring. Steiner takes down Awesome, applies a crossface and smashes Awesome. Clothesline and elbow drop by Steiner, Awesome is thrown to the floor. Steiner clubs Awesome on the apron, Steiner looks for a clothesline but Awesome nails a slingshot shoulder block, splash for two. Diving clothesline for two, low blow by Steiner. Belly to belly suplex, stomps by Steiner. Right hands by Steiner, chops by Big Poppa Pump. Irish whip by Steiner, Awesome counters with a springboard back elbow, leg drop by Awesome for two. The crowd go nuts for Big Sexy Kevin Nash. Steiner Recliner and Awesome submits.

Well, it was a stupid idea to begin with to have those two fighting it out. Steiner should have been going for The WCW World Heavyweight Championship, Awesome should not have been losing any matches considering he was a hot new talent with a fair bit of potential and buzz. Nash screws over Awesome but will they actually follow up on the feud? I sure hope so with Awesome taking down Big Sexy but I am probably being too optimistic again.

Winner: Scott Steiner over Mike Awesome via Steiner Recliner!

(WCW US Tournament Match) Vampiro vs Sting

Before the match, Russo fires Rhodes for not helping Smiley win the match. Sting runs to the ring, Vampiro jumps Sting. Multiple kicks, right hands by Vampiro have no effect. Right hands by Sting, choke by Sting. Sting batters Vampiro on the outside, chair shot to the back. Scoop slam by Sting, top rope splash for two. Vampiro is dumped to the floor, Sting misses a Stinger Splash against the barricade. Kick to the back of the head by Vampiro, superkick by Vampiro. Vampiro is on the top rope, Vampiro hops down. Shoulder block and leg drop for two, back suplex for two. Sting eats chops and kicks, snap suplex for two. Sting swats away a missile dropkick, Scorpion Death Drop and Death Lock for the win. DUD!

Winner: Sting over Vampiro via Scorpion Death Lock!

(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Chris Candido vs Lash Leroux vs Juventud Guerrera vs Shane Helms vs Crowbar vs The Artist

The match begins with Three Count being attacked, new star Candido does not get an entrance while the returning to the ring Juventud Guerrera gets nothing as well. That’s a shame for the two biggest stars of the match, Crowbar and Leroux begin walloping one another. Leroux nails Crowbar with his finish (forgot the name), Juventud saves the match. Juventud nails Leroux with a Juvi Driver, here is The Artist. Wheelbarrow bulldog by Juventud, the match breaks down. Daffney nails Crowbar with a diving hurricanrana, Juvi kicks Daffney. Crowbar saves Daffney from a Juvi Driver, Leroux dives onto Crowbar. More of everyone diving onto one another, Shannon Moore is almost not caught off a dive.

The Artist and Candido remain in the ring, The Artist looks for a superplex. Candido shoves down The Artist, Diving Heabutt by Candido misses. Samoan Drop by The Artist, there is a chair in the ring. Tammy is in the ring, Tammy shoves The Artist head first onto the chair. Candido pins The Artist and wrestling’s couple wins the match. Paisley and Tammy get into a war of words and a catfight. DUD! Tammy looks amazing though!

Winner: Chris Candido over Everyone Else via Survival!

(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) Team Package vs Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell

The final to decide the new tag team champions, we have old-timers Luger and Flair against Bagwell and Douglas. The appeal of this is Flair and all the shit talking Douglas did about The Nature Boy, Flair takes this so seriously that he decides to keep on his slacks and shirt. Russo appears in the corner of Douglas and Bagwell, this should be fun right?

Luger and Bagwell begin the match, Bagwell asks for a handshake. Luger kicks Bagwell and pounds away, boot from the corner by Bagwell. Clothesline and scoop slam by Bagwell, Luger no-sells and pounds on Bagwell with scoop slams and a clothesline. Eye rake by Bagwell, chops by Douglas. Kick to the guts by Douglas, Luger reverses an Irish whip and gorilla press slams Douglas. Flair tags in and pummels Douglas, Douglas begs for mercy. Eye rake by Douglas, tag to Bagwell. Bagwell punches and back drops Flair, clothesline by Bagwell. Snapmare into a reverse chinlock, tag to Douglas. Right hands by Douglas, Douglas mocks Luger. Tag to Bagwell, Flair chops back before Bagwell knocks down Flair.

Tag to Douglas, side headlock by Douglas. Both men bang heads, Douglas continues to beat down on Flair with ten punches in the corner. Flair flip with a clothesline by Douglas, Luger clotheslines Douglas from the apron. Flair tags Luger, Luger clotheslines for Bagwell & Douglas. Figure Four on Douglas by Flair, Bagwell low blows Luger. Bagwell saves Flair, Bagwell Blockbusters Douglas. Flair covers but Russo pulls out the referee. Out of nowhere, here comes Brian Adams and Bryan Clark aka Kronik. Double Chokeslam on Luger, Russo counts the pin for the win.

How many interference finishes is that now? That’s like 6 in a row! I just cannot take much more of this, I need to go back to WWE reviews fast. A lot of the swearing and kayfabe terms being thrown around is doing my head in, it just annoying by this point. Hudson is as vanilla as they come while Madden does not sit on annoying, he goes a million times over the line into turn over the channel and fire this fat fuck.

Winners: Shane Douglas & Buff Bagwell over Team Package via Double Chokeslam!

(WCW United States Championship Match) Scott Steiner vs Sting

Here we are at the finals, the only member of The Millionaire’s Club in the tournament against Big Poppa Pump who had taken out two promising heels from the mid-card. Lock-up, knee by Steiner. Kicks and punches in the corner, Sting ducks the clotheslines for dropkicks. Steiner is on the floor, plancha by Sting. Sting misses a top rope splash as Steiner blocks with his knees, military press slam by Steiner. Elbow drop by Steiner for two, Steiner looks for a belly to belly suplex from the top rope. Sting headbutts down Steiner, huge clotheslines by Sting. Stinger Splash, Steiner uses the referee for a shield. Third Stinger Splash, here comes Vampiro through the ring. Sting is dragged through the ring, Vampiro emerges with Sting a bloody mess. Steiner Recliner with Sting being passed out. Another interference finish, yawn! DUD!

Winner: Scott Steiner over Sting via Steiner Recliner!

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) DDP vs Jeff Jarrett

Hold up, this match was decided by a tournament where DDP did not win a single match without interference? DDP ducked a guitar shot which led to his wife being nailed with the guitar? Hard to make the guy look good or tough after that, a babyface should jump in the way to save his wife from a guitar to the head not duck out of the way when she is in the ring. And Jeff Jarrett, no matter how hard the company push him or he pushed himself in TNA, Jarrett was never a main event star.

Side headlock and shoulder block by DDP, discuss clothesline. Inverted atomic drop, swinging DDT for two. Kimberly slaps Jarrett, DDP throws Jarrett into the crowd. Jarrett is in control with a trash can, DDP throws Jarrett back ringside. Jarrett hides behind Kimberly, Jarrett sucker punches DDP. Sunset flip by DDP for two, clothesline by DDP. DDP is crotched on the top rope, superplex by Jarrett. Jarrett has a chair, DDP is smashed in the back. The referee takes the chair, double axe handle by Jarrett. Back elbow by DDP, Spiral Bomb for two. Bischoff is here on the ramp, DDP and Jarrett tumble to the floor. Jarrett rips up a copy of DDP’s book, lots of foot chokes and taunting from Double J.

DDP fights back in the corner, DDP pulls Jarrett groin first into the ringpost. Jarrett blocks the diamond cutter by using the ropes, Jarrett has his championship. Shot to the face, Jarrett covers for two. Figure Four by Jarrett, Kimberly has the guitar. DDP reaches the ropes, Jarrett tries the figure four again. DDP has the small package for two, schoolboy for two. Jawbreaker by Jarrett, Jarrett dives into an exploder suplex for two. Sleeper by Jarrett,  Bischoff is on the apron with the referee. Kimberly is on the apron, DDP nails The Diamond Cutter. Kimberly wants to hit Jarrett, Kimberly decks DDP and Jarrett wins the championship after a Stroke!

Decent match which by this show’s standards is phenomenal. They did some crowd brawling, some fun stuff in the ring. The swerve was a load of shit, made fuck all sense but I do not care by this point. This show was awful from top to bottom and Jarrett was no Flair, No Nash, No Hogan, no Sting and certainly, no Goldberg.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett over DDP via Kimberly & The Guitar!

That was WCW’s Spring Stampede of 2000, a joint production of Russo & Bischoff which came off like an even shittier Survivor Series 1998. That was my first thought with the tonnes of matches and tournaments but then I thought, Survivor Series was at least entertaining and watchable at times. This show was flat-out boring and a burden to get through, I stopped multiple times throughout because I could not come up with anything to say about these flash matches and I thought writing DUD for every match would not count as a proper review. I should have though because it was just a pain in the behind to get through this mess, I wasted almost three hours of my life do not waste yours. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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Thursday 27 July 2017

WWE Survivor Series 2005 Review

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Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that flies higher than the security guard that Braun Strowman killed! We are in for the last of the big four of 2005: WWE’s Survivor Series 2005. It’s the show where WWE said hang on a minute, we have two brands and we have never done a who is better match? That’s right, we have the likes of Melina vs Trish Stratus, Ric Flair continues his feud with The Game Triple H, Cena defends against Angle and the main event is a traditional five-on-five Survivor Series Style Elimination match between the two brands, who will reign supreme? Raw or Smackdown? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

It is all about surviving, the best of the best against one another deciding who is the man. The best of Raw and the best of Smackdown, Triple H wants to end Ric Flair’s career and the deck is stacked against John Cena. It is very good stuff, gets you hyped for what you are about to see and I love it.

(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit  vs Booker T W/ Sharmell

This was a best of seven series with Booker T turning heel after following the words of his wife Sharmell who told Booker that Benoit was simply not his friend. They engaged in a war over the championship with this being match one of said series, this is similar to the war the two had over the WCW Television Championship in the early parts of 1998. Bit of a stare-down with referee Charles Robinson enforcing a clean break. Lock-up, exploder by Booker. Lock-up, Booker backs Benoit into the corner. Benoit turns Booker and knees Booker and throws Booker to the floor. Lock-up, waistlock by Booker. Benoit reverses the waistlock and ties up Booker, Booker reaches the ropes.

Booker powders, test of strength. Side shuffle kick by Booker, back elbow by Booker. Benoit blocks a suplex for a snap suplex, clothesline by Benoit for two. Knees in the corner, Booker boots Benoit when Benoit comes running in for a clothesline. Sidewalk slam by Booker for two, armbar by Booker. Benoit fires out of the armbar but Booker locks in an abdominal stretch. Hiptoss by Benoit, armdrag and a knee to the head. Kick to the head by Booker off an Irish whip by Benoit, huge spinning kick by Booker. Two for Booker, hard Irish whip by Booker. Jacknife cover for two, neckbreaker by Booker for two. Reverse chinlock by Booker, Benoit battles back sliding out of a suplex and here comes German suplexes. Harlem Sidekick by Booker cuts off Benoit, two for Booker.

Benoit ducks a sidekick, dragon screw legwhip, Benoit tries for a sharpshooter but Booker reverses for a small package. Two for Booker, chops by Benoit. Clothesline by Benoit for two, three German suplexes by Benoit. Sharmell distracts Benoit who is on the top rope, Booker looks for a superplex. Benoit headbutts Booker to the canvas, Diving Headbutt by Benoit but Booker dodges. Oklahoma roll using the ropes and Sharmell for leverage, Booker wins the match.

A very subdued performance from both men, they could steal the show if they wished but it is a best of seven series, they are not going to go all-out in the first match. Despite the two not going balls to the walls, they still managed to entertain the crowd, building well to Benoit’s comeback and Sharmell furthering herself as the key to victory for Booker. It is funny, they leave Benoit in the ring like Royal Rumble 2003 when this match was nowhere near as intense or spectacular.

Winner: Booker T over Chris Benoit via Shenanigans!

Bischoff/Vince Mcmahon Segment

Vince wishes Bischoff the best of luck in his match with Theodore Long, Bischoff is confident ahead of his match, proclaiming victory against Long, victory against Team Smackdown and victory for Kurt Angle against John Cena. Cena walks in and runs off Bischoff, Vince says keep it up my nigga to Cena before running into Booker. Ah Vince, showing off his power because he can get away with it.

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Melina W/ Mercury & Nitro vs Trish Stratus © W/ Mickie James

Inter-promotional match with MNM abducting Trish Stratus, leading to this match for Melina. Trish mounts Melina to begin the match, Melina rolls to the floor. Trish dives onto MNM, MNM protect Melina on the floor. Trish swings Melina by the hair, handstand headscissors by Trish. Melina reverses an Irish whip to the corner and works the back of Trish, Melina chokes Trish using the ropes. Kick to the ribs by Trish, headscissors choke by Melina. Foot choke by Melina, Trish reverses Melina in the corner, foot choke by Trish. Eye rake and kick to the head by Melina, Melina shoves down Mickie James. Catfight on the floor, MNM look for The Snapshot on Trish. Why is there no DQ? The referee ejects MNM, Melina is irate.

Spear and forearms by Melina, Trish is bounced off the mat. Clothesline by Melina, Trish is rammed off the mat. Surfboard stretch by Melina, Trish fights back from her knees, forearms to the face. Stratusfaction is blocked, hair-pull takedown by Melina for two. Matrix spot is countered with an axe handle by Melina, Trish fights back once more. Forearms, Melina elbows Trish. Handstand headscissors by Trish, spinebuster for two. Melina ducks The Chick Kick, Melina dumps Trish to the apron off Stratusfaction. Mickie James pulls Trish out of the way, apron kick by Trish and a Stratusfaction for the win.

This match is a testament to how good Trish could be, she made Melina look like a threat in this match. Melina did not look weak or lost at any moment in this match, I wish Trish stuck around for years, she could have been great for newer stars. Also, I love the furthering of Mickie James and Trish, Trish was in danger before Mickie pulled Trish out of the way. You could easily pull this up with Mickie helping Trish and Trish starting to catch on, it could lead to more tension. It is all very well done, no wonder people look back on it so fondly.

Winner: Trish Stratus over Melina via Stratusfaction!

(Last Man Standing Match) Triple H vs Ric Flair

They had a hell of a match at Taboo Tuesday, they beat the piss out of one another. It was brutal and violent, loved every aspect of that match. Big win for Flair too, Flair was showing that there was still life in this dog despite his age. Anyways, starting the feud with a cage match was weird but the pay per view called for it and we follow the steel cage match with a Last Man Standing match. Match starts on the ramp, Triple H blindsides Flair and begins punching the face of Flair. Back elbow by Triple H, Triple H grabs a chair. Flair surprises Triple H with a kendo stick, Flair batters Triple H in the crowd. Triple H back drops Flair to ringside, suplex on the floor by Triple H. Referee begins counting, Flair makes it up to the apron. Triple H suplexes Flair into the ring. Elbow by Triple H, right hands in the corner by The Game.

Flair fights out of the corner, Triple H tosses Flair to the floor. Triple H sends Flair into the ringpost, Triple H pulls out a screwdriver. Flair is bleeding, Triple H digs the screwdriver into Flair’s head. Lots of stabbing by Triple H, Flair is on his knees as The Game pummels his former best friend. Triple H exposes his knee and drives it into the head of Flair. Flair begins battling back with chops, Triple H throws Flair to the floor again. Triple H begins taking apart the Spanish announce table. Flair desperately throws Triple H into the steel steps, eye poke by Triple H. Spinebuster on the floor by The Game, Triple H has a microphone and begins talking trash to Flair. Testicular claw by Flair, Triple H waffles Flair with the microphone, Triple H has Flair on the announce table for a Pedigree.

Flair reverses and back drops Triple H through the other announce table. Triple H stands at a count of nine, chops and rights by Flair. Flair ducks his head off an Irish whip, knee facebuster by Triple H. Right hand by Triple H, The Game has a chair. Triple H hesitates, mounted punches by Triple H. Flair asks for more, right hands by Flair. The Game batters Flair down, Triple H’s Pedigree is blocked with a low blow. Flair smashes Triple H with a chair shot, Flair bites the head of Triple H. Low blow by Flair, Flair pulls The Game groin first into the ringpost. Flair continues to send The Game’s testicles into the ringpost. Chop block by Flair, stomps by The Nature Boy. Chop block by Flair, The Game kicks off Flair. No figure four today, Flair trips up Triple H sending his legs into the ringpost.

Flair whacks Triple H’s legs with a steel chair, Figure Four by Flair. Flair uses the ropes for leverage, Triple H is tapping out in pain. Clothesline by Triple H, Triple H has the steel steps. Steel steps to the face, Flair drop toeholds Triple H into the steel steps. Chops by Flair, Flair Irish whips Triple H. Triple H catches Flair with a Pedigree out of nowhere. Flair manages to stand, another Pedigree. Flair flips off Triple H and stands, right hands by The Game. Third Pedigree, Flair shows signs of life so Triple H grans his sledgehammer. Flair is walloped in the back with the sledgehammer, Triple H wins.

Very good match, Flair and Triple H had the story and the chemistry with one another to make a tremendous program. They start off hot with a brawl all around the arena and Flair is busted open within seconds. It had the violence and some great spots like the screwdriver or Flair refusing to die. Flair had some good offense too, I liked the leg work and the multiple low blows. I guess if there was an issue with the match, it would be that Flair seemed to have no kill-shot in his arsenal, the figure four was not going to keep The Game down. However, it was a lot of fun and they had the crowd in the palm of their hands, another masterful performance from Ric Flair.

Winner: Triple H over Ric Flair via Sledgehammer Shot!

Batista is The Leader!

JBL and Orton argue about who is leader before Batista shows everyone who is boss. Team Smackdown are ready to kick some serious ass, we also have Edge insult a local sports star. I was not really interested so I skipped it.

(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs Kurt Angle

Daivari is the special referee for the match, Daivari is firmly in the corner of Kurt Angle. Glad that Daivari was able to find a role for himself following the departure of Muhammad Hassan. With this feud, Cena was in with one of the best in Kurt Angle. The first match had not blown me away while the triple threat was mostly Angle vs Michaels with Cena taken out after being sent through an announce table. Hoping that Cena vs Angle lights up the arena this time around.

Lock-up, Cena pushes back Angle. Takedown and leg work by Angle, Cena cannot kick off Angle who continues to wrench the ankle of the champion. Armdrag by Cena, shoulder blocks before Angle bails to the floor. Daivari does not allow Cena to attack Angle on the floor, Daivari counts as slow as possible. Mixed crowd reaction for Cena, Angle clubs down Cena in the ring. Back elbow and hiptoss by Cena, fisherman suplex with Daivari not counting. Cena jaw-jacks with Daivari, Angle has the Ankle Lock. Cena reaches the ropes but Daivari kicks off Cena’s arm. Cena kicks off Angle, Cena slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari threatens to DQ Cena but Angle begs Daivari to reconsider, Cena shoulder blocks Angle into Daivari.

Belly to belly suplex on the floor by Angle, new referee and Angle gets two. Mounted punches and snap suplex by Angle for two, bodyscissors by Angle. Crossbody by Cena for two, right hands too. Angle belly to belly suplexes Cena, knee lift by Angle. Foot choke by Angle, back suplex by Angle for two. Reverse chinlock by Angle, jawbreaker escape from Cena. Big DDT by Cena, slugfest with Cena nailing his shoulder blocks and clotheslines. Spinning side slam by Cena, Five Knuckle Shuffle by Cena. Angle clotheslines the referee to avoid an FU, low blow by Angle. Angle Slam for two, Cena is on the top rope. Angle nails a superplex, two for Angle.

Angle climbs to the top rope, Cena avoids the moonsault. FU but Angle uses the referee for leverage, clothesline by Angle. Angle uppercuts the referee and goes to grab Daivari. Cena DDTs Daivari, the Smackdown referee is in the ring. Cena catches Angle for an FU and Cena retains his championship.

Wow, that sucked a whole lot of ass. They skipped all the drama like they were short on time or something. They did not tease Daivari doing a good job, they just showed their hand instantly with Daivari helping Angle. Angle went right for The Ankle Lock, there was no struggle, there was no reason to care about this match. In all my time covering Kurt Angle matches, I would say I have never seen such a horrid match in terms of story and action from Angle.

Winner: John Cena over Kurt Angle via FU!

Eric Bischoff vs Theodore Long

Lucky me, I have to see this match. Lots of stalling, karate poses and shite. Bischoff chokes Long with his martial arts belt. Long is choked some more, coquina clutch by Bischoff. Long takes off his shoe and batters Bischoff, Bischoff throat thrusts Long. Long is kicked over, Boogeyman’s music hits. Bischoff tells the referees to catch The Boogeyman, little does Bischoff know that The Boogeyman is in the ring. Boogeyman chokes Bischoff and slams Bischoff into the mat to give Long the win. DUD!

Winner: Theodore Long over Eric Bischoff via Pumphandle Slam!

(Traditional Survivor Series Style Elimination Match) Team Raw (Chris Masters/Carlito/Kane/The Big Show/Shawn Michaels) vs Team Smackdown (Batista/Rey Mysterio/Randy Orton/JBL/Bobby Lashley)

Now, this is a good angle. We have had a brand split since 2002 but we have never had the two go head to head to see who is the superior show. We finally have a match to decide who is the best with the two factions going to war. Unfortunately, things are very much in the favour of Smackdown starpower wise but if you expect Shawn Michaels to be outperformed by anybody, you have another thing coming.

Orton and Michaels to begin, lock-up with Orton shoving back Michaels. Clean break from Orton, lock-up with Michaels being backed into the corner again. Slap from Orton, Michaels slaps back. Lock-up and side headlock takedown by Michaels, slap by HBK. Chop by HBK, boot to the face of Orton. Orton kicks Michaels in the face after Michaels lowers his head off an Irish whip. Uppercut by Orton for two, scoop slam and knee drop by Orton. Michaels tags in Masters, shoulder blocks by Masters. Orton rakes the eyes and clubs Masters, knee lift by Orton. Masters bounces Orton off the turnbuckle, chops and shoulder block. Two for Masters, uppercut and clubbing blows by Orton.

Lashley is in, Masters tries a shoulder block. Powerslam by Lashley, Lashley misses a corner clothesline. Clothesline by Masters, Masterlock attempt. Lashley blocks it, belly to belly suplex by Lashley. Masters tags Carlito, Carlito does not want Lashley. Lashley yanks in Carlito, right hand has no effect on Lashley. Clotheslines by Lashley and a running powerslam for two. Carlito elbows Lashley, tag to HBK. HBK is yanked off the top rope, clothesline by Lashley. Scoop slam by Lashley, belly to belly suplex by Lashley. Carlito comes into the ring, Dominator for Carlito. Lashley looks for a Dominator on HBK, Kane Chokeslams Lashley from the apron.

Lashley has been eliminated via Chokeslam!

Mysterio is in with HBK, Kane kicks Mysterio in the spine. Tag to Masters, elbow drops by Masters. Military press slam by Masters, tag to Kane. Mysterio dodges an elbow from Kane, low dropkicks by Mysterio. Standing moonsault for two, big boot by Kane on Mysterio. Kane works the back of Mysterio, foot choke by Kane. Backbreaker by Kane, two for Kane. Kane backs Mysterio into the corner, bearhug by Kane. Mysterio bites his way out, tag to Batista. Right hands by Batista, shoulder thrusts in the corner. Clothesline by Batista, Kane elbows Batista and goes to the ribs. Spear by Batista, clotheslines for Team Raw. Big Show is in, Batista blocks a Chokeslam. 619 on Kane, Spinebuster and Kane has been eliminated. Kane and Show Chokeslam Batista to finish off The Animal.

Kane has been eliminated via Spinebuster!

Batista has been eliminated via Chokeslam!

JBL is in the ring with Show, Show clotheslines and chops JBL. Orton eats a boot, Mysterio is caught and tossed to the floor. Orton hotshots Show from the apron, Clothesline From Hell by JBL. Tag to Mysterio, 619 by Mysterio. Tag to Orton who nails a massive RKO on Show. Tag to JBL who blasts Show with a Clothesline From Hell. Tag to Mysterio, seated senton and Show has been eliminated.

Big Show has been eliminated via Springboard Senton!

The match breaks down with Masters and Mysterio in the ring. Hard Irish whip by Masters for two, tag to Carlito. Snap suplex and foot choke by Carlito, leg drop for two. Reverse chinlock by Carlito, Masters tries reviving Michaels who is down at ringside following a fallaway slam from JBL. Mysterio fights out, JBL tags in off Mysterio. Springboard moonsault by Mysterio, Carlito catches Mysterio but in comes JBL with a Clothesline From Hell for the elimination.

Carlito has been eliminated via Clothesline!

JBL and Masters brawl with JBL eye poking Masters. In comes Mysterio, springboard crossbody for two, Masters Irish whips Mysterio into the corner. Corner spear by Masters, the second spear misses. Drop toehold into the ropes, 619 and springboard leg drop by Mysterio for the elimination. Team Raw is down to just Shawn Michaels.

Chris Masters has been eliminated via Springboard Leg Drop!

Michaels is in the ring, hard chop to Mysterio. Drop toehold by Mysterio, 619 connects by Mysterio but Mysterio dives into a Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. JBL tries a Clothesline From Hell but Michaels ducks and we have another Sweet Chin Music for another elimination.

Rey Mysterio/JBL have been eliminated via Sweet Chin Music!

Orton tries RKO but Michaels shoves off Orton. Michaels tries Sweet Chin Music but Orton holds onto the ropes and powders. Michaels dives onto Orton for a plancha, chops by Michaels. Flying forearm by Michaels, kip-up. Inverted atomic drop and clotheslines by HBK. Scoop slam, elbow drop by Michaels. Michaels calls for Sweet Chin Music, JBL is in the ring with a chair. Michaels dodges and drops JBL with Sweet Chin Music but Orton pounces for an RKO and it is goodnight for HBK. The Smackdown locker room celebrates but the gong hits and Undertaker shows what happens to those who fuck with The Deadman.

This was a lot of fun, I do not think it could touch the 2003 match. That was just off the charts for drama and Michaels’ performance was phenomenal. This match was very good though, I liked all of the eliminations except Lashley. When originally preparing for the match I wrote down Matt Hardy as the final member of the Smackdown team so I was a little shocked to see Lashley there considering his pay per view debut came the month before. His elimination did him absolutely no favours, a Chokeslam by Kane from the apron seemed a bit weak for the new badass on Smackdown. Michaels was great as usual, made something as simple as a slam on the floor look like death and he just lay there for a few moments and you had the drama of the three on one in place. Shame that there was no beatdown from Orton or JBL to further build sympathy for Michaels, they went straight into the end but it was still great fun to watch.

Winners: Team Smackdown over Team Raw via RKO!

That was WWE’s Survivor Series of 2005, a hit and miss show for one of the big four of the year. The main event delivered it was non-stop fun all over the place with a cool angle to signal the final chapter of Taker vs Orton which had spanned over nine months. Flair vs Triple H was violent and told a good story, I might prefer their first encounter in the cage but they were both great matches to watch. Melina looked really good with Trish, Trish proved to me that she could carry in the ring and was at the peak of her powers. Benoit vs Booker I cannot complain too much it was the first of a series I expected not much, Long vs Bischoff was awful. Finally, I have no idea what happened in Angle vs Cena, it was such a bizarre match from a psychology standpoint, it did not work to either man’s benefit, it did not play to their strengths, it was a shambles. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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Tuesday 25 July 2017

WWE Taboo Tuesday 2005 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that had no idea Battleground was on this Sunday! We are back for WWE’s Taboo Tuesday where the power is in the hands of the fans. You decide who faces who and what kind of matches they have. Tonight, we will see the likes of John Cena, Kurt Angle, Batista, Trish Stratus and many more in action for the Raw exclusive pay per view. The match I am most excited for is the returning Triple H who has taken out his once closest friend Ric Flair, there is a lot of history there and I am sure it will not disappoint. So, shall we get down to it? Let’s do it two it!

Opening Promo

It is all about power and domination, The Mcmahons are back after firing JR. Bischoff wants to screw over Cena, Triple H battles against Ric Flair and it could be Cactus Jack beating the piss out of Carlito. We have the power, the authority and the control.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy

Edge was originally meant to compete in this match but Edge backed out, Edge’s replacement would be Snitsky. Masters jumps Mysterio, Snitsky attacks Hardy on the floor. Stalling vertical suplex for two, tag to Snitsky. Small package by Mysterio for two, Snitsky kicks out and clothesline Mysterio. Foot choke by Snitsky, scoop slam for two. Tag to Masters, backbreakers by Master. Mysterio knees his way out but Masters counters the wheelbarrow bulldog for a huge slam for two. Reverse chinlock by Masters, Mysterio escapes for a headscissors, tag to Hardy. Rights and lefts by Hardy, flying forearm by Hardy. Hardy is dropkicked off the apron, Hardy nails a side effect on Snitsky for two. Hardy motions for The Twist of Fate, Snitsky backs Hardy into the corner. Snitsky misses a corner big boot, Hardy has Snitsky for a middle rope DDT that looked nasty.

Masters saves Snitsky, Masters shoves Hardy into a big boot. Tag to Masters who has Hardy in a surfboard, Hardy escapes before a huge clothesline with Mysterio saving Hardy. Snitsky is in, suplex by Snitsky for two. Keylock by Snitsky, Hardy breaks free but Snitsky regains control with a spinebuster. Two for Snitsky, rope hung guillotine. Tag to Masters, front chancery by Masters. Hard Irish whip by Masters, Hardy elbows off Masters and nails a diving clothesline for two. Masters tags Snitsky, elbow drop to the spine. Mysterio is knocked to the floor by Snitsky, scoop slam on Hardy. Two for Snitsky, Snitsky stomps on Hardy in the corner.

Hardy drops Snitsky with a reverse DDT after sliding out of the scoop slam, tag to Mysterio. Springboard senton to Masters, springboard crossbody for two. Low dropkick for two, Snitsky Irish whips Mysterio. Snitsky nails his shoulder off the ringpost, Snitsky blocks a tornado DDT. Masters has Mysterio for The Masterlock, Mysterio pushes off Masters with the two referees arguing. Snitsky is lowbridged to the floor, Hardy clotheslines Masters to the floor. Mysterio and Hardy dive onto Snitsky & Masters, springboard sunset flip by Mysterio for two.

Snitsky trips Mysterio, testdrive neckbreaker by Masters for two. Hardy drops Snitsky with a swinging DDT, Hardy trip Matsers who falls into The 619. Hardy nails a Twist of Fate and Mysterio lands a huge springboard splash for the win, Smackdown’s Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio win the match!

That was a good opening match, crowd was very hot for the show. They loved Hardy and Mysterio was over like rover in his hometown. I felt bad for Masters and Snitsky, both came in and worked with big stars like Kane and Michaels, they would go onto lose and it is hard to recover after that. Anyways, the heels worked well together, they had Mysterio to throw around, Mysterio should have had been the one to play face in peril, I think it would have worked better but they did a good job, it was fine and it furthers the feud between Raw and Smackdown at the time.

Winners: Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio over Chris Masters/Snitsky via Springboard Splash!

Maria has a Nice Day!

Mick Foley has a luggage mix up with Maria which leads to Maria handing over Foley’s mask and her tights which leaves Foley a very happy man.

Jimmy Snuka & Eugene vs Tyson Tomko & Rob Conway

So, Conway is alone with no La Resistance anymore and Tomko is without Captain Charisma who would leave the company very shortly or might have already left. Tomko scoop slams Eugene with Snuka as his chosen partner, Eugene messes with Tomko before a throat thrust, chop by Snuka. Scoop slam by Eugene, Conway attacks Eugene from behind. Tag to Conway, right hands and a choke by Conway. Stomps by Conway, back elbow by Conway for two. Dropkick by Conway, tag to Tomko who stomps on Eugene.

Powerslam for two, tag to Conway. Reverse chinlock by Conway, Eugene tries escaping but Conway clubs down Eugene. Low headbutt by Eugene, knee by Conway and a shot to Snuka. Tag to Tomko, right hands by Tomko. Eugene fights back before a right hand by Tomko, Conway is the legal man. Eugene dropkicks Conway after Tomko crotches himself. Tag to Snuka, chops and headbutts by Snuka, Tomko and Eugene brawl with Tomko being clotheslined to the floor. Snuka and Eugene headbutt Conway, Rock Bottom by Eugene and a Superfly Splash by Snuka for the win.

Well, I think I have seen much worse legend returns. The one that comes to mind is Mr. Wonderful at that WCW pay per view in 2000 which resulted in a very scary injury for Paul. Anyways, Conway and Tomko are not entertaining enough to pull this off or make it memorable, it did nothing for me.

Winners: Eugene/Jimmy Snuka over Tomko/Conway via Superfly Splash!

Mankind vs Carlito

From the promo package, you would believe Cactus Jack would be favourite for a hardcore style match against Carlito but the fans chose Mankind to face Carlito. The match begins with Carlito dropkicking and punching Mankind, no effect on Mankind. Mankind back elbows and rakes the back of Carlito, Carlito is in the tree of woe. Elbow drop to the face by Mankind, rope hung guillotine by Mankind. Baseball slide by Mankind, neckbreaker on the floor. Mankind has a chair, Carlito drop toeholds Mankind onto the steel steps, Mankind bounces his face off the chair too. Dropkick with Mankind’s head hitting the steps, two for Carlito. Carlito stomps all over Mankind, Mankind eats a Russian legsweep for two.

Electric chair drop by Carlito for two, sleeper hold by Carlito. Mankind pulls off Carlito, double clothesline with both men down. Mankind sits up and begins ripping out his hair, right hands by Mankind. Right hands in the corner, knee to the face by Mankind. Cactus Jack clothesline, diving elbow drop from the apron to the floor. Two for Mankind, Double Arm DDT by Mankind and Mankind calls for Socko. Mandible Claw for the win.

It had all your Mick Foley spots but I cannot help but feel it was a bit phoned in, it was a nothing feud and they made it out to be nothing. So, I do not feel disappointed as I saw everything that I would like to see from Mankind but nothing had any impact, it was just there at the end of the day.

Winner: Mankind over Carlito via Mandible Claw!

Who is in The Main Event?/Trouble for Bischoff?

Bischoff has a char with Vince Mcmahon who is less than pleased with Bischoff as Smackdown has beaten Raw on Raw’s own pay per view. Vince tells Bischoff to get his act together. Meanwhile, Shawn Michaels wins the vote to be in the main event with John Cena and Kurt Angle, that means Kane & The Big Show will challenge for the tag team titles.

(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Kane & The Big Show vs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch ©

The champions defeated Hurricane and Rosey to win the championships and now, face the impromptu team of Show and Kane. Show bangs the head of the champions together, Kane uppercuts Murdoch in the ring. Murdoch is caught between the two, Murdoch shoves Kane. Kane uppercuts and elbows Murdoch in the corner, choke by Kane. Corner clotheslines, Murdoch boots Kane blocking the third clothesline, tag to Cade. Cade clubs Kane, uppercuts by Kane. Boot by Show who is tagged in by Kane, clubbing blows by Show. Chest slap by Show, stomps and chops by Show. Snapmare and boot by Show, eye rake by Cade. Tag to Murdoch who elbows and chops Show. Show does not move for the Irish Whip, chop to Murdoch.

Headbutt by Show, chop and step-over by Show. Kane is in, eye rake by Murdoch. Tag to Cade, boot by Kane. Kane is on the top rope, Murdoch distracts Kane. Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor, high and low combination by the champions. The champions put the boots to Kane, knee to the back by Cade. Submission by Murdoch, Kane fights off Murdoch but Murdoch tags in Cade. Tag to Murdoch, inverted atomic drop and swinging neckbreaker by the champions.

Kane sits-up, Murdoch helps out Cade. Show is on the floor, Kane boots Murdoch and clotheslines Cade. Tag to Show, clotheslines all around. Headbutt to Cade, headbutt to Murdoch. Stacked in the corner, splash to Cade. Murdoch eats a diving clothesline from Kane, Murdoch is knocked to the floor. Double Chokeslam by Kane and Show, we have new tag team champions.

That was a surprise, here I was thinking we had new life in the division under Cade & Murdoch, they have lost the championships in their first defence. Match was nothing spectacular, I did like Murdoch a lot. I think he could be a good mid-card heel with those facials and bumps, we will see what happens with the two as the year progresses.

Winners: Big Show & Kane over Cade & Murdoch via Double Chokeslam!

(Handicap Match) Vader/Goldust/The Coach vs Batista

The original plan was Austin to face Coach in the honour of JR, Austin had stunned every member of the Mcmahon Family on the homecoming show of Raw, The Mcmahons would retaliate by firing JR which would lead to Austin beating the piss out of Coach. However, Austin could not commit to the pay per view and there was a quick change to Batista being put in the role to destroy Coach who is flacked by Goldust and Vader.

Batista pummels Vader and Goldust, both scramble. Batista is backed into the corner, Vader & Goldust beat down Batista. Batista spears Vader in the corner, Spear for Goldust. Corner clothesline and Coach is in the ring. Punch by Batista, Batista looks to slam Vader but Goldust beats down Batista with a kendo stick. Coach has a leather belt, Batista is whipped with the belt. Batista kicks off both and clotheslines Coach, clotheslines for all. Whipping for all three, spinebuster on Vader. Slap by Batista, Batista Bomb and it is over. DUD!

Winner: Batista over Coach via Batista Bomb!

Shawn Michaels/Kurt Angle Promo

Kurt Angle asks Michaels to team up and take down Cena so that the two can find out who is truly the best on Raw. Michaels tells Angle that he will think about it and that’s all we have there.

(WWE Women’s Championship Battle Royal Match) Trish Stratus © vs Micke James vs Victoria vs Ashley Massaro vs Maria vs Candice Michelle

Did you know Trish had been champion for like 4 months while being injured? I wondered where Trish was during the summer, I assumed it was Lita turning heel that had ruined any big angles for Trish but no, poor Trish was injured and returned in September, feuding with Vince’s Devils. However, we have a new girl in town named Mickie James and this is a big deal due to this being the beginning of one of the best angles in WWE for women’s wrestling. Did I mention that this is a Lingerie Battle Royal? Yeah, kind of takes away from the serious tone of what I said.

Everybody pairs off, there are four faces compared to two heels. Victoria and Trish get down to business with teasing eliminations and you see Mickie James saving Trish. Candice saves stablemate Victoria, Maria and Ashley are rolling around in the background. The heels are thrown into one another, Maria is bouncing around before being tossed to the floor. Mickie and Trish almost throw out Victoria, Candice saves herself from elimination. Leg scissors choke by Candice, Ashley recovers and knocks down Candice. Tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam by Victoria on Trish, Victoria fights off Mickie James and Ashley. Ashley is catapulted to the floor, side slam on Mickie.

Trish pummels Victoria, headscissors by Trish. Trish and Victoria are almost eliminated, Trish is so close to touching the floor. Mickie saves Trish instead of winning, Victoria stops the matrix move and clotheslines Mickie. Mickie saves Trish, Victoria slaps Mickie with Mickie spearing Victoria to the floor. Trish wins as the two fall to the floor.

It had a story, one of these stupid matches had a damn storyline. I am in shock, it was a good story too. Something that had not been done for the WWE, a stalker-type fan obsessed with their idol, doing everything they could to help their idol, their hero win and succeed. It was quite-gripping and put focus on the women. Also, props to Victoria who looked damn good and real compared to the other “wrestlers” in the match.

Winner: Trish Stratus over Everyone Else via Survival!

(WWE Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match) Ric Flair © vs Triple H

According to The Game, Ric Flair had embarrassed himself becoming a shadow of his former self with Triple H refusing to see his memories of The Nature Boy to be tarnished. Flair was an icon, a legend to Triple H and Triple H would be damned if Flair became a joke. This would Triple H’s return match on pay per view after putting over Batista at Vengeance. A good choice of feud for The Game, it made sense and had the backstory to be great.

Lock-up, Triple H misses a right hand. Chop by Flair, first blood to Flair. Lock-up with chops by Flair, rights and lefts. Triple H tees off but Flair comes back with chops, The Game is down. High knee by Triple H off a reversed Irish whip, right hands in the corner. Chops by Flair, spinebuster by Triple H. Right hands by Triple H, Flair is rammed into the cage. Flair is bleeding, Flair meets the cage again. Snapmare and knee drop by The Game, Flair’s face is raked off the cage wall. Flair is bounced off the cage, splash by The Game. Right hands to the cut by Triple H, Triple H pulls down his kneepad to strike Flair with the knee. Flair hits the cage hard, Triple H begins climbing to the top of the cage.

Flair is up with Triple H, chops by Flair. Headbutts by Triple H, chops by Flair. The result is both men are crotched on the top rope, Triple H pulls a chain off the steel cage. Triple H raps it around his fist but Flair boots The Game in the face. Shin breaker by Flair, the figure four is blocked as The Game decks Flair with the chain for a close two. Fist drop with the chain, the chain is taken away by the referee. Slap by Triple H, right hands to the cut from The Game. Rights and lefts by Triple H, knee drop the back of the head. Figure four by Triple H, Flair reaches the ropes for a break. Triple H tries another figure four which results in Flair sending Triple H into the cage wall, Triple H is bleeding.

Rights and lefts by Flair, biting and Triple H meets the cage wall. Triple H is raked off the cage wall, Flair chops and tees off on The Game. Chop block by Flair, more leg work by Flair. Figure Four by Flair, Triple H shoves the referee into Flair in desperation. Flair climbs to the top rope, Flair double axe handles Triple H for two. Low blow by Flair, Flair crawls towards the door for victory. Triple H has the boot of Flair, Flair drags a chair into the ring. Triple H takes the chair from Flair, Triple H has the chair. Testicular claw and chops by Flair, Triple H looks for The Pedigree. Back drop on the chair by Flair, Flair waffles The Game. Make it three shots with the chair, Flair crawls out of the cage for the win.

That was great stuff, just an all-out fight from two of the best in the company. I liked there was little attempt to escape the cage, you got the intensity and the feeling that these two hated one another. It was brutal at times with Triple H’s heat segment being a dissection of Flair almost to the point of too much but I thought they got it right on this night. Flair’s comeback was awesome and I loved the finish of Flair battering the bejesus out of Triple H. I feel very rarely nowadays you get to see the heel taking the asskicking they have coming to them but there was no fucking around on this night. You had Flair beat Triple H into oblivion, that would have been a good blow-off never mind a first match between the two.

Winner: Ric Flair over Triple H via Escaping The Cage!

(WWE Championship Match) Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle vs John Cena ©

Angle had a legitimate gripe with Cena over defeating the champion at Raw’s previous pay per view Unforgiven. With Michaels’ feud being cut short with Hogan, Michaels was in an awkward position for the months that followed as the WWE geared up towards Wrestlemania. So, the match is a continuation of the feud between Angle and Cena with Michaels added in due to his history with Angle and nothing going on angle-wise for HBK.

 Angle takes out Michaels, double-cross right away. Angle pummels Cena in the corner, Michaels is knocked down off the apron. Back elbow by Cena on Angle, Michaels is down again before attacking Cena. Chops by HBK, Angle works on Cena. Angle kicks Cena before Cena elevates Angle to the floor, HBK chops away at Cena. Angle is knocked off the apron, Cena backslides Michaels for two. Clothesline by HBK, foot choke by Michaels. Angle German suplexes both men. Belly to belly for both, Michaels counters the angle slam for a sunset flip. Angle rolls through for an Ankle Lock, Michaels shoves off Angle into an FU attempt, Angle escapes. Michaels tries sweet chin music but Cena blocks for a clothesline, lots of pin attempts with Angle stomping Cena.

HBK and Angle beat down Cena, Cena is tossed to the floor. Michaels has the announce table ready, Cena is suplexed through the table face first. Michaels and Angle go at it, powerslam by HBK for two. Back elbow by Angle, uppercuts and right hands by Angle. Angle applies a bodyscissors, HBK escapes before eating a belly to belly suplex. Michaels is on the top rope, Angle is knocked down. Angle plays possum and lands a top rope Angle Slam for two. Cena is back up, clotheslines and shoulder blocks. Angle is on the floor, back drop for Michaels. Michaels’ flip in the corner, spinning side slam. Angle stops the five knuckle shuffle, Michaels nails a tope con hilo onto Angle.

Flying forearm by HBK, inverted atomic drop, clotheslines and a scoop slam. Cena eats chops, flying forearm for Cena. Michaels kips-up, Angle belly to belly suplexes HBK to the floor. Spinning side slam and five knuckle shuffle by Cena, Cena has Angle for the FU, Angle rolls through for The Ankle Lock. Cena cannot break Angle’s grip, Angle grapevines the leg. Michaels is up on the top rope, elbow drop on Angle. Sweet Chin Music by Michaels on Angle, Cena capitalizes with an FU on Michaels for the win.

That was fun, Michaels and Angle’s interactions were a lot of fun, it seemed like Cena took the backseat in this match, I am not sure it was the best call with a hostile crowd. At this point, Angle and Michaels were dicing up Cena in the ring so for Cena to steal away the win from Michaels, I don’t know if that was a good call unless they are stretching out Cena vs Angle which is most likely now that I think about it. Maybe scratch that last part. Anyways, it was a fun triple threat with Cena gaining another important win, this time pinning HBK. The future was indeed bright for The Doctor of Thuganomics.

Winner: John Cena over Everyone Else via FU!

That was WWE’s Taboo Tuesday of 2005, a largely forgettable show. Apart from the last two matches and the story being told with Mickie James and Trish, there is nothing you need to see on this show. It had a lot of legends on the show, some who could not work anymore and others who seemed disinterested. Batista vs Coach was meh like the whole first hour and a half. Things get really good with Flair vs Triple H and the main event is fun but you do not need to go out of your way to see this show. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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Saturday 22 July 2017

WWE No Mercy 2005 Review

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Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that spits in the face of people who aren’t cool! It’s time for WWE’s No Mercy 2005, a Smackdown exclusive headlined by Eddie Guerrero taking on Batista, we also have Rey Mysterio battling JBL and the likes of MNM, Christy Hemme, Nunzio and Mr. Kennedy. Smackdown had a good Summerslam but it was time to deliver on their own pay per view, Batista’s previous headlined pay per view for Smackdown was decent at best, they needed something more. Could this be a homerun for the WWE or will it be a Smackdown flop?

Opening Promo

It is all about Eddie Guerrero, Eddie claims to be reformed and no longer a hateful, manipulative piece of trash. Batista is wise not to trust Latino Heat but Eddie is a master of manipulation and even Batista is beginning to think that Eddie is a changed man. We switch focus to Orton vs Taker, Orton has begun playing mind games with The Undertaker and it’s something you simply do not do as Taker has challenged The Ortons to a Casket Match. Some solid stuff right here, The Eddie/Batista thing seemed very interesting while Orton vs Taker had been stretched out for a longtime but continued to be exciting and interesting.

MNM vs LOD & Christy Hemme

At Great American Bash, LOD defeated MNM with Heidenreich working well with Animal to win the gold, Christy Hemme was drafted to Smackdown alongside Stacy Keibler, Christy became the manager of the champions and was the victim of a devastating Snapshot from MNM. The champions and Christy are out for revenge, this could be fun at the very least or a train-wreck.

Heidenreich brings in Nitro to start the match, big boot by Animal. Scoop slam and tag to Heidenreich, lefts and rights by Heidenreich. Clothesline by Heidenreich for two, tag to Animal. Double back elbow by LOD, corner clothesline by Animal. Nitro dodges a corner clothesline, Animal smacks his bandaged shoulder off the turnbuckle. Mercury is in and kicks the arm, repeated shoulder thrusts and kicks to the arm with Animal falling to the mat in pain. Cheap shot by Heidenreich, Snapshot by MNM. Nitro decks Heidenreich, two for Mercury. Tag to Nitro, Nitro works the arm in the ropes. Mercury hotshots the arm behind the referee’s back, Nitro continues to work the arm before Melina chokes Animal with her legs.

More shoulder work before a tag to Mercury, neckbreaker by Mercury for two. Mercury is on the top turnbuckle, Animal catches Mercury for a scoop slam, Nitro makes the save. Heidenreich is elevated to the floor by Nitro, Nitro misses a fist drop and smacks off the barricade. Melina tags in off Mercury, crossbody is blocked and Animal tags Christy. Hart Attack by Christy, Animal chucks Mercury to the floor. Christy nails a terrible hurricanrana, Christy drops Melina with The Doomsday Device for the win.

Fun even if the quality was not that great, silly of MNM to use their finish in such a pointless match for a two-count, I thought they would protect it more especially when they were the top team on the brand. Animal worked the whole match, that was the best possible thing for the match as Christy and Heidenreich looked terrible every time they did anything. However, I enjoyed the match at the end of the day.

Winners: LOD & Christy Hemme over MNM via Doomsday Device!

Batista & Eddie Guerrero Segment

Batista and Eddie Guerrero wish one another good luck, it is intense and the perfect setup for the awkward confrontation between the two.

Simon Dean vs Bobby Lashley

Simon Dean is on a segue and he drives to the ring, Simon has a waiter bring a tonne of burgers to the ring. Simon mocks the fat people of Houston as being the fattest city in America. Simon is so confident that he will achieve victory in his match that he promises to eat all twenty burgers if he cannot defeat Bobby Lashley. Lashley comes in looking like an absolute monster, side headlock by Simon Dean. Lashley throws Dean to the corner, shoulder block by Lashley. Simon scrambles to the ropes, double underhook suplex by Lashley. Shoulder thrusts by Lashley, Lashley misses a corner clothesline.

Simon throws burgers to distract the referee, Simon uses the tray to whack Lashley in the head. Wham but Simon is shocked to see that Lashley no-sells all of it. Big headbutt by Lashley, Lashley pulls Simon out of the corner and botches a very impressive looking Dominator to end the match. It is a shame because it would have been very spectacular but it was a squash match, not the type of thing you want on a pay per view.

Winner: Bobby Lashley over Simon Dean via Dominator!

Jillian Hall and JBL

Following Amy Weber’s firing, JBL was given Jillian Hall as his image consultant. JBL had made disparaging comments about the Raw roster which has raised the question of whether the Raw superstars will turn up at No Mercy. Mysterio interrupts JBL, claiming that Mysterio will walk away with the win tonight.

(WWE United States Championship Match) Booker T vs Orlando Jordan vs Chris Benoit © vs Christian

Four men with problems all around, best way to solve it is a multi-man match for the championship. Christian and Jordan take out Benoit before attacking Booker, rights and lefts by Christian before Booker double clotheslines Jordan and Christian. Side shufflekick by Booker on Jordan, chops by Booker. Christian trips Booker, yanking him to the floor and into the steel steps. Benoit has Jordan in The Crossface, Christian saves Jordan. Benoit chops Christian, knee to the ribs for Captain Charisma. Jordan takes chop and a slam, snap suplexes for both by the champion.

Christian is drop toeholded into Jordan’s nuts, roll-up by Benoit on Christian for two. Jordan saves Christian from a sharpshooter, Booker is on the top rope. Missile dropkick for Christian, rights and chops by Booker on Jordan. Catapult with Christian being sent to the floor, Jordan is clotheslined down. Booker and Benoit remain in the ring, lock-up with Booker pushing Benoit back. Clean break, Christian and Jordan jump Benoit & Booker. Benoit belly to belly suplexes Christian to the floor, Jordan clears out Benoit. Jordan chokes Booker with the ropes, double clothesline with both men down. Benoit climbs to the top turnbuckle, Christian and Benoit battle on the top rope.

Booker is whipped into both men, Benoit and Christian tumble to the floor. Sunset flip by Booker for two, flying forearm by Booker. Spinebuster for two with Christian saving the match. Sidekick for Christian, Harlem Sidekick for Benoit. Spinaroonie, Scissors Kick connects with Christian saving the match once more. Benoit is sent into Booker, Unprettier does not connect. German suplexes by Benoit, Jordan comes in and blocks a German suplex. Benoit tosses Jordan into Booker, release German suplex by Benoit. Three German suplexes by Benoit, Benoit climbs to the top rope. Diving Headbutt misses as Christian dodges, Oklahoma roll by Christian but Benoit rolls through for a Crossface.

Jordan saves the match, Booker takes out himself and Jordan with a huge clothesline. Christian tries Unprettier again, Benoit counters for a Sharpshooter. Christian has no choice but to tap as Chris Benoit retains his championship with Sharmell giving out to Booker.

That was fun at times but felt disjointed for much of it. It seemed they lost their way quite a few times with spots being changed on the fly like Benoit signalling for the headbutt but going back to suplex Christian, Jordan interrupting Benoit’s suplexes on Christian and the finish seemed to be out of the blue, the Oklahoma roll looked like it was the right finish and it looked good too but Jordan comes into the ring only to get knocked back out once more with Christian tapping seconds later anyways. With a bit of polishing and clean execution, this could have been a lot more memorable.

Winner: Chris Benoit over Everyone Else via Sharpshooter!

Bobby Lashley makes Simon Dean Eat!

We cut to the back where Simon Dean is being forced to eat the burgers from earlier by Bobby Lashley, it was a funny segment.

Ken Kennedy vs Hardcore Holly

Along with Bobby Lashley, we also have Ken Kennedy on the main roster making his pay per view debut. Unlike Lashley at the time, Kennedy had a great gimmick and charisma, Kennedy would do his own introductions making fun of the fans and hyping the shit out of himself like only a true dickhead can. Kennedy has pissed off Hardcore Holly, the veteran who every rising star must go through in order to be a star on the Smackdown brand.

Holly yanks Kennedy into the ring from the apron, boots by Holly. Suplex for two, right hands by Hardcore. Kennedy pokes the eyes before eating a dropkick, huge chop by Holly. Make it three, Kennedy begs for mercy. Headbutt by Kennedy, Kennedy throws Holly to the floor and sends Holly into the ringpost shoulder first. Shoulder thrusts by Kennedy, back suplex for two. Armbar by Kennedy, Holly armdrags Kennedy but Kennedy clotheslines Holly for two. Holly backs into the corner, chops by Holly. Kennedy nails a single arm DDT for two.

Another armbar by Kennedy, Holly begins swinging wildly at Kennedy. Right hands by Holly, back body drop by one-armed Holly. Back elbows by Holly, full-nelson slam by Holly for two. Corner clotheslines by Holly, flapjack by Holly. Rope-hung gut kick by Holly, jacknife cover for two. Kennedy tries a kick, Holly blocks and lands a clothesline for two, Holly climbs to the top rope. Kennedy meets Holly, Kennedy takes the arm and delivers The Green Bay Plunge for the win.

Holly may be the man you have to go through to be somebody on Smackdown but it does not make for exciting matches, Kennedy looked average at best following this performance. Another squash match on pay per view, not the best way to go about entertaining those in attendance or anybody rewatching the show like yours truly.

Winner: Ken Kennedy over Hardcore Holly via Green Bay Plunge!

Slyvain Attacks!/Simon Dean Eating/Sharmell Berates Booker

Grenier comes down to the ring, beating the piss out of Hardcore Holly and nailing his finish. Simon Dean finds a hair in his burger, Sharmell continues to get in the face of Booker, telling the five-time WCW Champion that Benoit is not Booker’s friend. Kennedy interrupts the two to tell everyone he won his match.

JBL W/ Jillian Hall vs Rey Mysterio

Following defeat to Batista, JBL looks to rebound against the man who was having his best year in WWE, Rey Mysterio. Mysterio was looking great after his fantastic feud with Eddie Guerrero, The Master of 619 was shining like the star we all knew he could be and it is awesome.

JBL shoves Mysterio hard in the face, Mysterio brawls with The Big Texan. Kicks to the leg, side headlock takedown by JBL. JBL holds onto Mysterio for what seems like forever, huge shoulder block by JBL. Mysterio avoids an elbow, JBL tumbles to the floor off a kick. Mysterio messes with JBL, sliding in and out of the ring with JBL becoming more blown-up with each passing second. Baseball slide by Mysterio, Mysterio looks out to the fans and JBL takes control. Huge chops by JBL, swinging neckbreaker by JBL. JBL clubs down Mysterio, Mysterio dropkicks the knee, flip-over neckbreaker for two. Leg lock by Mysterio, JBL kicks Mysterio in the head.

Eye poke by JBL, Mysterio nails a huge headscissors. JBL ducks a 619 and uses Jillian as a shield on the floor, Mysterio bulldogs down JBL. Mysterio tries re-entering the ring but JBL sweeps Mysterio’s legs, causing Mysterio to faceplant on the steel steps. JBL begins punishing Mysterio with rights and lefts, Mysterio boots JBL out of the corner. JBL meets Mysterio on the top rope, fallaway slam by JBL. Another fallaway slam by JBL, Mysterio rolls out to the floor. Mysterio is thrown on the floor, a third fallaway slam by JBL. Two for JBL, knees in the corner by JBL. Bearhug by JBL, Mysterio is placed on the top rope. Mysterio recovers for a tornado DDT, kicks to the knee by Mysterio.

Springboard crossbody, low dropkick by Mysterio. Hurricanrana to the corner by Mysterio, bronco buster. Jillian is on the apron, Mysterio avoids JBL who bounces his head off the top turnbuckle. Mysterio nails a moonsault for two, JBL winds up for a Clothesline, Mysterio nails a dropkick and a 619. Mysterio misses The West Coast Pop and JBL nails a huge Clothesline for the win.

It was good, big man vs little man matches are fun as the big guy throws around the smaller man and the comebacks from the underdog never fail to elicit a response from the crowd. JBL is a big bully, there is nobody in that arena cheering for the guy as it should be, Mysterio was picking up a lot of steam from the Eddie feud, I wonder if a win here for Mysterio would be for the best? Obviously, things would change with Eddie’s death and Mysterio being catapulted into the main event but even if that wasn’t the plan, Mysterio could have used a win to capitalize on all that momentum.

Winner: JBL over Rey Mysterio via Clothesline From Hell!

(Handicap Casket Match) Bob Orton & Randy Orton vs The Undertaker

The feud was tied at one a piece, Taker was victorious at Wrestlemania, Orton took time off to recover from an injury and was victorious at Summerslam. The feud had produced good matches and segments with this being another chapter in the war. The match starts out with Taker pummelling both Ortons, Bob saves his son by low blowing Taker. The two put the boots to The Deadman before Taker begins laying waste to Bob Orton. Bob Orton is in the casket as Randy takes a breather on the floor. Taker is whipped into the steel steps by Randy, Randy stomps all over Taker. Orton bounces Taker off the steel steps, Taker is dragged towards the casket.

Taker fights off Bob & Randy, Taker strikes Bob in the corner. Old School on Randy, Bob knocked into the ropes. Complete shot on Randy, shoulder thrusts to Bob. Taker motions for Old School on Bob, Randy recovers and crotches The Deadman. The Ortons have Taker on the top rope and nail a double superplex, Bob covers but Taker must be put in the casket. The Ortons plan to suplex Taker into the casket, Taker counters for a double DDT. Taker sits-up, Bob is chucked into the casket. Snake eyes and a big boot by Taker, Orton avoids a tombstone but not a clothesline. Bob has a fire extinguisher, Randy drops Taker with a backbreaker. Taker rams Randy back first into the ringpost, Bob is in the background with the extinguisher.

Bob eats a huge boot, Taker has a steel chair. Randy is smacked into the casket. Taker pummels Bob by the casket, triangle choke by Taker. Both Ortons are in the casket, Randy stops Taker closing the casket. Randy chokes Taker, slugfest in the casket. Taker pummels Randy in the ring, powerslam by Orton. Low blow by Taker as Randy hesitated placing Taker in the casket with his father Bob. Gut shots by Taker, Randy whips Taker to the corner but Taker blocks with a boot. Randy regains control with a dropkick, right hands by Orton. Ten punches in the corner by Randy, Taker motions for The Last Ride. Randy slides out the first time but Taker lands The Last Ride.

Taker motions for the end, Taker was planning on a tombstone into the casket. The extinguisher finally comes into play with Bob spraying Taker in the face. RKO by Randy, Bob begins rolling Taker into the casket. As Bob reaches the casket, Taker revives, grabbing the throat of Bob. Randy nails Taker with a fire extinguisher, Randy was about to close the casket but Taker drags Randy into the casket. Bob saves Randy and Randy clocks Taker with a steel chair, The Ortons close the casket before lighting the casket on fire at the top of the ramp.

Liked this match, fans were into Orton and Taker, they were loud for this one. Match was put together well with The Ortons cheating to control with Taker being a monster when on his own with one of the Ortons. They built up the drama too towards the end in a way they only can with Taker, multiple times it seemed like it was over for The Deadman but Taker was eventually overwhelmed with Orton trying to kill off Taker, yeah it is cheesy but we allow it and you know why? Because it is Taker damn it and for some reason, it works.

Winners: The Ortons over Undertaker by Placement In The Casket!

(WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match) Nunzio © W/ Big Vito vs Juventud Guerrera W/ The Mexicools

Juvi won a battle royal to earn this opportunity, they start off trading pins with Juvi winning the war, chops by Juvi and a big kick. Effortless headscissors by Juvi, backbreaker by Juvi. Two for Juvi, Juvi climbs to the top rope but Nunzio yanks Juvi to the canvas for two. Elbows to the back by Nunzio, surfboard stretch by Nunzio. Victory roll by Juvi for two, Russian legsweep by Nunzio for two. Juvi hammers Nunzio on the apron, both men facebuster one another from the top rope. Nunzio covers for two, Juvi covers for two.

Juvi boots Nunzio in the face, spinning wheel kick. Sunset flip roll through by Juvi, low dropkick for Nunzio by Juvi. Two for Juvi, shining wizard by Juvi for two. Nunzio backs into the corner, Juvi counters a headscissors for a facebuster. Two for Juvi, Nunzio misses The Sicilian Slice. Nunzio elevates Juvi to the apron, Vito grabs Juvi’s foot. Juvi kicks off Vito and nails a headscissors on Vito, Juvi is on the top rope. Crossbody, Nunzio rolls through for two. Nunzio dodges the Juvi Driver but Juvi nails a northern lights suplex which leads to The Juvi Driver for the win.

Crowd was dead for these two, I feel bad for them but when you follow Taker, you are asking for silence from the crowd. The Mexicools’ gimmick seemed to be working, they even conduct an interview in Spanish at ringside.

Winner: Juventud Guerrera over Nunzio via Juvi Driver!

Simon and The Last Burger

Lashley does not have the most intimidating voice for a big guy, it is like the complete opposite of what you would want for a monster. Anyways, Simon pukes after consuming nineteen burgers while Lashley makes some funny faces.

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Eddie Guerrero vs Batista ©

Eddie has changed his ways or so it seems, Eddie calls Batista a friend and talks about respect, Batista is weary of the words of Latino Heat. It is an interesting angle compared to everything else going on at the time. Also, Eddie does look massive and I know that this was just before his untimely death but there maybe we should have seen it coming with Eddie growing so much in size in 2005.

Eddie goes for the leg of Batista, Eddie takes down Batista. Batista kicks off Eddie, firemen’s carry by Eddie for a two. Both men smile like friends, Batista grabs Eddie’s arm in the test of strength, Eddie climbs to the middle rope and kicks at The Animal. Batista gets sick of this and yanks Eddie off the middle rope and halfway across the ring. Eddie recovers on the floor, side headlock by Batista. Eddie backs Batista into the corner, shoulder thrusts by Latino Heat. Batista smacks his ribs off a turnbuckle after a corner clothesline misses, they reset with a side headlock by Batista.

Eddie cannot escape on the first attempt, Eddie elbows out before scoop slams and shoulder blocks by Batista for two. Eddie powders, Eddie has a steel chair but looks at the chair and decides against using the chair. Batista has Eddie by the throat, hotshot by Eddie. Frog Splash across the ribs by Eddie for two, Eddie begins working the back with stomps and submission holds. Batista powers up and shakes off Eddie but Eddie dropkicks Batista in the spine. Single leg Boston crab by Latino Heat, Eddie wraps a tag rope around his hand from the turnbuckle and decides to throw it away. Dropkick by Eddie, Eddie applies a camel clutch. Batista reverses the hold into a bearhug, Eddie fights his way out, low dropkick by Eddie.

Eddie looks for a Texas cloverleaf, Batista counters for a small package, two for Batista. Eddie backs Batista into the corner, Batista whips Eddie to the corner, Eddie leapfrogs Batista but hits the referee. DDT by Eddie, Eddie sees the referee is down. Eddie has a steel chair, Eddie has second thoughts for the third time in this match. Batista and Eddie have words, right hands by Latino Heat. Batista spears Eddie into the corner, corner clotheslines and back drop by The Animal. Spear, Eddie rolls through The Batista Bomb but Batista blocks and delivers a spinebuster. Two for Batista, Eddie blocks an elbow with his knees. Three Amigos, Batista dodges The Frog Splash and nails a spinebuster for the win.

A great match to go out on for Latino Heat, I liked the struggle for Latino Heat about going back to his cheating ways, Eddie look concerned and thought better of taking the low road, furthering the angle and belief that Eddie is a changed man. Also, the story told by the two was great with the back injury being established very early in the match through the frog splash and all the submission holds used by Latino Heat. Even the finish played into it in a way as Batista could not nail The Batista Bomb and had to improvise for a spinebuster to put away Latino Heat. It is a shame that we never got to see the conclusion to the angle with Eddie’s passing but Eddie was a phenomenal wrestler, one of the all-time greats and he was sorely missed in wrestling. RIP Latino Heat!

Winner: Batista over Eddie Guerrero via Spinebuster!

That was WWE’s No Mercy of 2005, a better than usual pay per view for Smackdown. It did not drag but there were moments where I was thinking that at least a quarter of it could have be trimmed, two squash matches on pay per view is a bit much for me, it gives me flashback of when they were trying to get over Luther Reigns, Kenzo Suzuki and Mordecai on the same show, it was just too much and the fans did not care. That being said, the JBL vs Mysterio, Taker vs Ortons and Batista vs Eddie all delivered by being entertaining, dramatic and had some damn good wrestling. This even will always be marked in infamy due to it being Latino Heat’s last before his death but it was a good one to go out on! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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