Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that CM Punk would return for! It’s Summerslam 2005 from everyone’s favourite company, The WWE. All jokes aside, this card is stacked and it is no surprise for a big four ppv. Hogan vs Michaels, Cena vs Jericho, Batista vs JBL, Kurt Angle vs Eugene, Undertaker vs Orton, Eddie vs Mysterio and the return of Matt Hardy. This is a huge card with a lot of matches that could steal the show, I have no doubts about this show being good but the question is how good? Let’s find out!
Every match gets a promo package, they knew this would be a great pay per view based on the card alone. Every feud is given time and then, the build-up for Michaels vs Hogan begins and it gets a little more intense.
(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit vs Orlando Jordan ©
Jordan survived Benoit at Great American Bash, it was more than likely the match of Jordan’s life as Benoit made Jordan look good in the ring. This is the rematch, lock-up with Benoit shoving Jordan into the corner. Benoit German suplexes Jordan immediately, Crippler Crossface and we have a new champion. Took me longer to write the paragraph, a surprise to kick off the show.
Winner: Chris Benoit over Orlando Jordan via Crippler Crossface!
Eddie Guerrero and Vickie
Vicki talks to her husband, Eddie makes it about his love for Dominic. Vickie says she loves Eddie but Eddie is being crazy. Eddie twists Vickie’s words, getting angry with Vickie telling her that Eddie can beat Mysterio.
Matt Hardy vs Edge W/ Lita
We have a real life affair going on for this angle, Matt and Lita did date for many years and there was an affair between Edge and Lita. Matt would find out from Edge’s wife who was concerned about texts between the two, Matt was released from the company, Matt would make the waves calling into Byte This and Matt was soon back in the company by attacking Edge and turning real life into an angle. This was one of those rare occasions where Matt was the Hardy brother to shine, the spotlight was on but could Matt deliver?
Hardy races to the ring, they brawl on the floor. Edge is tossed into the barricade, lots of clubbing blows from Hardy. Edge is covering up, rear-naked choke by Hardy. Edge rolls to the floor after reaching the ropes, Hardy continues the punishment. Rights and lefts by Hardy, headbutt by Edge. Edge knocks down Hardy, right hands by The Rated R Superstar. Edge Spears Hardy to the floor, Edge has Hardy in the ring. Right hands by Hardy, Edge is in the corner once more, trying to cover up.
Hardy is ten punching Edge, Edge flapjacks Hardy onto the ringpost. Hardy falls to the floor, Hardy is bleeding now with Edge taking control. Right hands by Edge, more right hands by Edge. Hardy is taking more and more shots to his open wound, Hardy asks Edge to bring it and Edge obliges with more right hands. Knees to the head by Edge, boot to the head. Hardy collapses to the mat, Hardy calls off the match, judging Hardy unable to continue.
Not sure how to feel about that, they came in with a lot of fire and you had a feud that could continue for months and a satisfying conclusion but is this really the right way to begin the feud? A stoppage with the heel beating up the hero, leaving him in a bloody mess. Does that make me want to see Matt have revenge? Not really, I see it as more as Matt is a loser who messed with someone who was clearly too strong for him. I think the right decision was for Edge to win but the execution I am not too sure about.
Winner: Edge over Matt Hardy via Referee Stoppage!
(Custody of Dominic Ladder Match) Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
Eddie has been tremendous in his feud with Mysterio, Eddie has destroyed Mysterio but he cannot pin The Master of The 619. Eddie held a secret over the head of Mysterio, Eddie revealed that Dominic is the son of Eddie and not Mysterio. Mysterio was heartbroken as Eddie produced custody papers, serving to Mysterio. Mysterio was not going to hand his son over to Eddie without a fight, the ladder match was made with Dominic’s custody on the line.
Knee by Eddie and right hands by Latino Heat, back suplex by Eddie. Monkey flip by Mysterio, Eddie is on the floor. Eddie grabs Mysterio and sends the masked marvel into the steel steps and a ladder. Eddie begins to climb the ladder towards the briefcase, springboard dropkick by Mysterio. Eddie holds his knee in pain, Eddie grabs another ladder. Mysterio eats more right hands, Mysterio throws Eddie to the floor. Mysterio baseball slides a ladder into Eddie’s face. Seated senton by Mysterio to the floor, Mysterio begins climbing towards the briefcase. Eddie joins Mysterio, Eddie has a hand on the briefcase but Mysterio battles bravely. Eddie rams Mysterio’s face off the ladder, sunset flip powerbomb by Eddie.
Eddie whacks Mysterio with the ladder, Eddie dropkicks the ladder into Mysterio. Eddie is sandwiched between two ladders, slingshot hilo by Latino Heat. Eddie smacks a ladder off Mysterio’s face in the corner, Eddie has the briefcase but Mysterio leans a second ladder onto Eddie’s ladder. Back drop by Mysterio and both men crash to the mat with Eddie bouncing his back off the ladder. Mysterio is climbing the ladder, Eddie dropkicks the ladder over. Eddie places a ladder on the top rope, Mysterio kicks off Eddie but Eddie alley oop powerbombs Mysterio onto the ladder. Eddie is climbing towards the briefcase, Dominic is in the ring.
Eddie looks down at his son, Eddie screams in the face of Dominic. Mysterio saves Dominic from taking a slap from his father, back body drop by Mysterio. Eddie clubs down Mysterio, Mysterio fires back and Eddie is whipped into a ladder, 619 onto a ladder which smacks Eddie in the face. Springboard leg drop by Mysterio onto a ladder onto Eddie’s face. Mysterio climbs the ladder, Eddie has Mysterio in the electric chair position, Mysterio counters for a sunset flip powerbomb, incredible from the top of the ladder. Mysterio has the briefcase, Eddie kicks over the ladder with Mysterio hanging from the briefcase, Mysterio falls into a powerbomb from Eddie.
Eddie places the ladder over Mysterio, Eddie climbs with victory assured like an asshole. Eddie struggles with the briefcase, Mysterio tips over the ladder with Eddie dangling from the briefcase. Eddie is pulled down by Mysterio, Eddie Three Amigos Mysterio. The last one is on the ladder, Eddie climbs to the top of the ladder. Here comes Vickie, Vickie pushes over Eddie off the ladder. Mysterio climbs with Vickie pulling Eddie away, Mysterio wins the match.
This was some great stuff from Mysterio and Eddie, Eddie might have been pissed about some of the sloppier moments but take nothing away from this match. Some of those spots were incredible, I have never seen anything like that electric chair into the sunset flip powerbomb, it was incredible. Eddie’s character was tremendous, this might have eclipsed his 1997 stuff in WCW, it was that good. A great end to a feud which was uncomfortable at times but so worth it all for the pay-off, Mysterio never looked better in the WWE.
Winner: Rey Mysterio over Eddie Guerrero via Retrieval of The Briefcase!
Chris Jericho Promo
Todd Grisham interviews Jericho, Jericho wants to become WWE Champion. Jericho was always best as a heel, Jericho is such a massive ass.
Eugene W/ Christy Hemme vs Kurt Angle
They really had no idea what to do with Hemme did they? Anyways, Eugene returned from his injury suffered at New Year’s Revolution winning Angle’s Gold Medal. I would say after that review that Eugene would be done in terms of relevancy for the WWE but I was wrong as Eugene would win Angle’s medal and Eugene would get a big match with Angle.
The match starts with Angle slapping Eugene to the mat, stomps by Angle and short-arm clotheslines. Angle misses a clothesline, Eugene nails a spinebuster but cannot nail The People’s Elbow. Clothesline by Angle, Angle pummels Eugene. German suplexes by Angle for two, Eugene fires up against Angle. Eugene misses a corner splash, German suplex by Angle for two. Hair-pull and choke by Angle, Eugene begins to hulk up after being rammed into the turnbuckle. Right hands and A Rock Bottom for two, Angle blocks a Stunner. Eugene blocks The Angle Slam, Stunner by Eugene for two. Ankle Lock by Eugene, Angle rolls through with Eugene hitting the turnbuckle. Angle Slam and Ankle Lock, Eugene taps out in pain.
It may not have been long but it was a lot of fun, Angle was hitting his stride working with Shawn Michaels and as a character, I do not know if Angle could be stronger. Eugene did his best with his hope spots, the crowd was very against Eugene though. Angle was tremendous though, loved this match.
Winner: Kurt Angle over Eugene via Ankle Lock!
Mcmahon for President!
We see the beautiful Divas Maria, Ashley, Candice Michelle and Stacy Keibler washing the president’s limo. It turns out to be Vince inside who simply states “Hey, why not?” Fun stuff.
The Undertaker vs Randy Orton
A Wrestlemania 21 rematch with Orton challenging Undertaker to another battle, the Wrestlemania match was good but not great, a few things went wrong here and there but it was far better than anything else that Taker had during the previous year as Taker was working Luther Reigns, Heidenreich and JBL.
Orton rolls out of the ring to begin, Orton returns to the ring to eat a slap from Taker. Side headlock by Orton, shoulder block by Taker for two. Side headlock by Taker, shoulder block by Taker. Hiptoss and clothesline by Orton, big boot by Taker. Two for Taker, keylock by The Deadman. Shoulder thrusts by Taker, Orton is caught for Old School but Orton armdrags Taker for two. Uppercut by Orton, multiple right hands by The Legend Killer. Taker pummels Orton in the corner, boot by Orton after an Irish whip. Taker answers with a boot of his own, two for Taker. Leaping clothesline for two, rib shots by Taker. Taker nails a huge knee in the corner, Taker misses a corner big boot.
DDT by Orton for two, Orton stomps on the leg of Taker. Orton smacks Taker’s leg off the ringpost, knee drop by Orton for two. Taker fights back from his knee, Orton ends that with a boot to the face. Orton continues wrenching the leg of The Deadman. Taker headbutts Orton, powerslam by Orton. More leg work by Orton, Taker turns Orton’s submission into a leg lock. Orton wriggles free and chop blocks Taker, more leg work by The Legend Killer. Orton tries to drop his weight on Taker’s leg, Taker shoves Orton to the floor before nailing his apron leg drop. Old School by Taker, complete shot by The Deadman. Two for Taker.
Irish whip by Taker, snake eyes but Orton avoids the boot with a dropkick. Orton stalks Taker, The RKO is countered with Orton being shoved to the canvas. Tombstone is reversed by Orton, Taker reverses Orton but Orton slides out for a backbreaker, two for Orton. Clubbing blows by Orton, crossbody by Orton but Taker rolls through for a Chokeslam. Chokeslam connects, there is a fan in the ring. Taker goes over to Orton, RKO out of nowhere by Orton and Taker has been beaten by The Legend Killer. And the fan in the ring is revealed as Bob Orton.
Not as good as Wrestlemania 21 but still a fun encounter, Orton was a really good opponent for Taker because Orton could see everything that Taker did but Taker could also make Orton look like a megastar. I found it very odd that Taker would fall for the disguise of Bob Orton, Taker is too good for that but that’s the finish they went with. Disappointing that the leg work was not paid off but it was still a good match.
Winner: Randy Orton over The Undertaker via RKO!
(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs Chris Jericho
John Cena was not good friends with Eric Bischoff, this worked against Mr. Cena as Bischoff ran the show that Cena was on, Jericho snapped after not becoming champion and being stuck in limbo on Raw as a babyface. Cena defeated Jericho and Christian at Vengeance in a triple threat match but tonight, Jericho has a crack at Cena with no distractions. They are nose to nose, a lot of intensity in the air for this match. Lock-up with a stalemate, side headlock by Jericho. Shoulder block by Jericho, Cena is back up with right hands. Chop war with Jericho winning the war, corner clothesline by Jericho. Suplex by Y2J, slaps and right hands from Jericho. Cena ducks a clothesline but eats a spinning heel kick. Cena is on the apron, Cena ducks a springboard crossbody.
Cena spears Jericho, mounted punches by the champion. Back elbow in the corner by Cena, more right hands. Jericho is bounced off the turnbuckle, Jericho dropkicks an oncoming Cena. Stomps in the corner by Jericho, suplex by Jericho for two. Right hands by Jericho, Cena mounts a comeback. Jericho throws Cena to the floor, diving enzuigiri by Jericho. Jericho chokes Cena with a camera cable, Jericho has Cena on the top turnbuckle. Superplex by Jericho, two for Jericho. Jericho whips Cena to the corner, Cena blocks with an elbow. Back body drop and clotheslines by Cena, Jericho misses a shoulder block. Modified bulldog by Jericho, Jericho misses The Lionsault but lands on his feet.
Cena goes for The FU, Jericho counters for a victory roll into The Walls of Jericho, Cena kicks off Jericho who falls to the floor. Jericho tries to re-enter the ring but Cena connects with a guillotine leg drop for two. Cena tries for The FU, DDT counter by Jericho for two. Backbreaker and elbows by Jericho, Jericho chokes Cena with the bottom rope. Jericho has his head rattled by a clothesline from Cena, rights and lefts by Cena. Spinning sideslam, Jericho counters The Five Knuckle Shuffle for a Walls of Jericho. Cena reaches the ropes, Jericho is on the top rope. Cena catches Jericho and looks for The FU from the top, Jericho slides down Cena’s back for a super back drop. Two for Jericho, Jericho is caught from a tilt-a-whirl into an FU for the win!
A good match but perhaps a bad night for Cena, this match was very entertaining and exciting but I would pin that all on a masterful performance from Jericho. I thought Jericho took too much offense at times but the FU reversals, The Walls of Jericho spots and the build to the finish were all on Jericho in this match, Jericho made this match fun. That would be it for Jericho as Jericho would take a two-year hiatus from WWE, the company was thinking of offering Jericho a contract at a reduced price but Y2J felt that he was burnt out and he needed to find his passion once more, this was a good match to go out on as Jericho and Cena had a respectable championship match.
Winner: John Cena over Chris Jericho via FU!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship No Holds Barred Match) Batista © vs JBL
JBL and Batista’s first encounter was rather disappointing with the match ending in a DQ win for JBL, Batista had not been firing on all cylinders in his feud with Triple H (The Hell in a Cell match was excellent though) so for the first match to stink was not a good thing for Batista and Smackdown. However, this one starts off with intentions to be better than the last within the first two minutes, JBL and Batista brawl on the stage and through the crowd before Batista spears JBL through the barricade to ringside. JBL takes control by sending Batista into the ringpost, elbows and right hands follow for Batista. JBL has a leather belt, Batista is whipped by the challenger.
JBL chokes Batista with the leather belt, Batista shakes off JBL and shoulder thrusts the challenger. Irish whip to the corner, JBL boots Batista. Massive Clothesline From Hell, 1…2…. Batista kicks out of JBL’s finish. JBL grabs the steel steps, JBL is looking for a powerbomb. Batista back drops JBL, JBL boots Batista. JBL tries a clothesline, spinebuster by Batista. Batista calls for the end, Batista Bomb but Batista does not cover, Batista looks at the steel steps and decides that JBL deserves to be destroyed. Batista Bomb on the steel steps by The Animal, Batista retains his championship.
They did the best possible match they could damn it, they knew the long match sucked, they knew nobody wanted to see that. It was not a match in terms of story-telling but it delivered what you wanted, it skipped any BS. It was just big guys beating the shit out of one another, down and dirty. That powerbomb looked brutal by the way, best match they could have had. Kudos to the two and JBL put over Batista like a boss.
Winner: Batista over JBL via Batista Bomb on Steel Steps!
Shawn Michaels vs Hulk Hogan
A dream match that should have been a trilogy but I will get into that later. Michaels and Hogan were tag team partners, they were kicking all sorts of ass. Michaels would turn on Hogan with an emphatic Sweet Chin Music that damn near decapitated The Hulkster. Heel Michaels is something we had not seen since 1998, this was something that seemed so fresh and it led to some glorious promos and segments like Bret in Montreal or the oldster segment.
Lock-up with Hogan pushing down Michaels over and over, hammerlock by Michaels. Side headlock by HBK, Hogan shoulder blocks Michaels to the floor. Chops by Michaels, Hogan whips Michaels onto the top rope. Multiple kicks by Hogan, Michaels is crotched on the top rope. Michaels eye pokes Hogan, chops by HBK. Back drop by Hogan, Michaels is clotheslined to the floor. Hogan yanks Michaels back into the ring, axe bomber by Hogan. Hogan lowers his head off an Irish whip, Michaels boots Hogan in the head. Michaels slaps Hogan, make it two. Chops by Michaels, Hogan flips Michaels to the apron. Eye poke by Michaels, Hogan decks Michaels who falls to the floor.
Hogan drops Michaels on the announce table, Hogan wants to send Michaels into the ringpost but Michaels shoves Hogan into the ringpost. Hogan is sent into another ringpost, left hands by HBK. Ten punches by Michaels, Hogan continues to shake off HBK. Michaels mounts Hogan and continues to dish out the punishment, Hogan is a bloody mess. Right hands by Michaels, sleeper by Michaels. Hogan survives and nails a back drop, flying forearm by Michaels.
Kip-up, Hogan dodges Michaels’ elbow drop. Right hands, big boot does not connect as Michaels nails a flying forearm with the referee being wiped out. Another kip-up by HBK, Michaels applies the sharpshooter. Hogan reaches the ropes, Hogan kicks off Michaels into the second referee. Low blow by HBK, Michaels has a chair. Michaels waffles Hogan, elbow drop by HBK. HBK calls for Sweet Chin Music, it connects. Cover, 1…..2…. Hogan Hulks up! Right hands, big boot and the biggest Leg Drop ever to put away HBK.
Well, that was an interesting match. The backstory was there was meant to be three matches between the two but tensions flared with Michaels being pissed with Hogan’s attitude. Michaels went out of his way to over-sell most of Hogan’s offense, mocking Hulk in the process. Now, I cannot say Hogan did not deserve it for his politicking ways but to do this in a main event, it was super unprofessional. It was not the classic they could have had if Michaels give it his all, this was more sad than anything else with Michaels treating Hogan like a joke at times, killing a lot of the tension for the clash.
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Shawn Michaels via Leg Drop!
That was WWE’s Summerslam of 2005, a mostly good show with one or two hiccups, I enjoyed a lot of this card filled with big matches. A lot delivered and made for a great watch like Eddie vs Mysterio, Batista vs JBL, Orton vs Taker and Cena vs Jericho. Other matches were fun like Angle vs Eugene and the short Benoit vs Jordan match. My big issues came in the form of Matt Hardy being totally made to looks like a fool in his first match with Edge and the over the top nature of Michaels vs Hogan, the good outweigh the bad and the main event is fun if you like to see Hogan on the other side of politics for once in his career. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!