Hello and
welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling
review series on the internet that Braun Strowman is done with! WCW and 1999
continue to despise each other, this is a sinking ship and the cards are
getting more chaotic and less fun with each instalment. How anybody was still
watching is beyond me, the angles are laughable, the wrestlers don’t care and
as a result, nobody is having fun. However, this is Halloween Havoc 1999,
featuring the likes of Hulk Hogan vs Sting, Sid vs Goldberg, Bret Hart vs Lex
Luger and DDP vs Ric Flair. I am trying, I am telling you I really am but this
company is sucking the life out of me. Will this show kill me off? Let’s find
out!
Opening Promo
Not much of
a package, we can gather Goldberg is facing Sid for the championship and
Goldberg broke the stipulation of touching Sid but it seems the match will take
place regardless of that. Also, Sting vs Hogan as Sting has turned heel,
screwing over the fans.
(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Disco Inferno © vs
Lash Leroux
Disco
clotheslines and stomps Lash, Irish whip to the corner. Eye poke and DDT by
Disco, choke by Disco. Lash avoids a back drop and nails a dropkick and scoop
slam, powerslam by Lash for two. Knee drop for two, right hands by Lash. Two
for the challenger, awkward back elbow by Disco. Lash sidesteps Disco, Lash is
sent shoulder first into the ringpost by Disco. Lash counters a double axe
handle for a belly to belly suplex, Lash climbs to the top rope, Lash spikes
himself with a diving hurricanrana.
Reverse
chinlock by Lash, Disco fights out for a clothesline. Lash skins the cat, The
Last Dance is avoided for a backbreaker, Lash stomps Disco. Disco faceplants
Lash, neckbreaker for two. Irish whip to the corner, Russian legsweep by Disco.
Middle rope elbow for two, elbow by Disco. Macarena Piledriver by Disco, Lash
kicks out at two. Lash nails a Blue Thunder Bomb for two, Disco slides out of a
Death Valley Driver, inverted atomic drop and a Last Dance, this match is over.
Lash nails Disco with a Samoan Driver on the belt after the match.
Very sloppy,
Lash might have been nervous or green or a combination of both but it was not
happening for Lash on this night. They messed up a lot of spots, they did not
recover well, it just came off like trash. Also, what happened to Lenny Lane?
Disco won the championship on TV? There is also new tag team champions? Harlem
Heat lost the titles already after winning them back after two pay per views?
Are you joking me? Fuck this company!
Winner:
Disco Inferno over Lash Leroux via Last Dance!
Revolution/Harlem Heat Segment
The
Revolution are splitting up despite just being formed? Could it be that they
were jobbed out at the last pay per view? Kidding, they are splitting though.
Harlem Heat wish to regain the titles, Booker cuts a great promo while Stevie
Ray just stands there.
(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) Harlem Heat vs The Filthy
Animals © vs The First Family W/ Jimmy Hart
Mysterio got
injured so the titles are up for grabs despite Konnan and Kidman wearing the
belts to the ring, it is falls count anywhere too for good measure. Weapon
shots everywhere, Morrus pins Booker for two. Knobbs cracks Morrus by mistake,
Booker covers yet Kidman saves the match. Jimmy Hart is chased by Booker,
Knobbs waffles Booker with a trash can. Knobbs is tossed through stage props,
Kidman and Konnan double team Morrus. Morrus press slams Kidman onto a chair,
Booker knocks Stevie Ray through some cardboard boxes, Knobbs is fighting off
two men while Morrus is doing the same.
Jimmy Hart
pulls out a table, Booker is on a table backstage with Knobbs. Morrus measures
Konnan for No Laughing Matter through the table but Booker pins Knobbs
backstage as Stevie Ray waffles Knobbs with a mummy. Kidman and Konnan pin
Morrus in the ring, the camera misses it completely. So, confusion with Harlem
Heat walking away with the gold, Konnan looks to be legitimately injured too to
add the shitty cherry to this cake.
A joke of a
match, just plodding and weapon shots with a poor attempt to replicate the
hardcore division of the WWF at the time. Pure confusion with the fans as they
miss the finish, confusion as the camera crew miss the other pin in the ring,
just shoddy stuff all around. DUD!
Winners:
Harlem Heat over Everyone Else via Mummy to The Head!
DDP/Ric Flair Segment
Flair is
with his son, carrying a crowbar while DDP strolls down to the ring with the
beautiful Kimberley. Kimberley tells everyone that DDP enjoys spanking her in
the bedroom, thanks for that Ms. Page. DDP makes the match a leather strap
match with Flair, what a genius idea to do that on pay per view, I am sure that
got a lot of last minute buys…. You morons!
Eddie Guerrero vs Perry Saturn
Eddie was
the man two years ago at this event, he was one of the hottest heels and stole
the show with Rey Mysterio. Fast-forward two years and following a horrific car
crash, Eddie is stuck in the same position but not for a lack of trying, what
is funny about this match is Eddie cuts a bad promo beforehand although it is
alluded he stole a rolex from Ric Flair, Lying, Cheating and Stealing did have
some roots in WCW.
Saturn and
Eddie start off quick, stungun and double stomp by Saturn. Two for Saturn,
Eddie kicks the knee of Saturn. Saturn is tossed to the floor, elbow by Eddie.
Saturn meets the guard rail, Eddie takes too much time which allows Saturn to
throw Eddie onto the steel steps. Powerbomb with a jacknife cover for two,
springboard crossbody for two. Wristlock into an armwringer by Saturn, Saturn
sits for an armbar. Eddie fights back only to eat a flapjack, cross armbreaker
by Saturn. Right hands by Saturn, Eddie goes to the leg. Snapmare and face
stomp by Eddie, low dropkick on Saturn for two. Saturn works the leg of Eddie
with holds, right hands by Saturn.
Heel hold by
Saturn, Eddie eye pokes Saturn. Short-arm scissors by Eddie, Saturn powers out
of the hold. Springboard moonsault by Saturn for two, Saturn tries again but
Eddie blocks with the knees. Brainbuster by Eddie, Eddie is on the top turnbuckle
but Saturn dodges The Frog Splash. Eddie avoids a springboard crossbody with a dropkick,
Irish whip by Eddie. Saturn hotshots Eddie into the top turnbuckle, Saturn
crotches Eddie on the top rope. Belly to belly suplex by Saturn, Saturn places
Eddie on the top turnbuckle. Saturn looks for a SplashMountain powerbomb but
Eddie slips out and superplexes Saturn. Here is Flair with a crowbar, Flair
stomps Eddie and whacks him with the crowbar. Kidman is wiped out and here is
Torrie Wilson, Flair kisses Torrie.
That was a
disappointment, Saturn and Eddie worked an interesting enough match, it had me
going towards the end and then, the finish came. So, Flair arrived and took
about ten minutes to find the entrance way even though if he wanted to, he
could have killed Eddie and got his rolex back at anytime. Aren’t The Filthy
Animals rebellious babyfaces? I could not tell by the end of this, all the fans
cared about was Flair.
Winner:
Eddie Guerrero over Saturn via DQ!
Sid & Goldberg Fight/Buff Bagwell
The cameras
cut to Goldberg kicking the shit out of Sid, Sid is bleeding. Buff Bagwell
comes down to the ring, the man who refused to job to Berlyn. Bagwell starts
talking about the new writers, the powers that be and Jeff Jarrett. Here comes
Jarrett, Bagwell beats the piss out of Jarrett. Jarrett turns the tide beating
up Bagwell, here is Lex Luger. Luger has the guitar, Bagwell is hit with the
guitar and it does not shatter, of course. Luger shows no remorse for Bagwell,
what the hell was this angle?
Brad Armstrong vs Beryln W/ The Wall
After
debuting and not getting the favours done by Bagwell, Berlyn looks to defeat
Brad Armstrong, the man who would be in the same league as Jerry Flynn and
Kenny Kaos. Berlyn snap suplexes Armstrong for two, Berlyn works the arm. Right
hand by Berlyn, dropkick and hiptoss by Armstrong for two. Berlyn counters a
side headlock for a back suplex, uppercut by Berlyn. Powerbomb by Berlyn for
two, spinning heel kick by Berlyn. Berlyn covers cockily, Armstrong reverses
the pin for two. Crossbody by Berlyn for two, clothesline by Berlyn for two.
Berlyn elbows Armstrong over and over, right hands and stomps by Berlyn.
Neckbreaker attempt goes wrong as Armstrong holds onto the ropes, Armstrong
covers for the win.
Well, there’s
that gimmick dead and buried before it even had a chance. DUD!
Winner:
Brad Armstrong over Berlyn via Cover?
(WCW Television Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs Rick Steiner
Benoit won
the championship that means nothing after losing The United States Championship
to Sid, Benoit has left The Revolution and that’s it in terms of relevant
information to this match. Bell rings and Steiner stays on the floor, begging
Benoit to come to the floor. Benoit slides out, Steiner slides in and clubs the
shit out of Benoit. Powerslam by Steiner for two, Benoit dodges an elbow and
chops Steiner. Boot by Steiner, Benoit has Steiner on the top turnbuckle.
Superplex by Benoit, Benoit stomps all over Steiner. Steiner avoids The
Crossface by jumping to the floor, suicide dive by Benoit. Benoit misses a
splash on the guard rail, Benoit is bounced off the guard rail which leads to a
two for Steiner.
Hard Irish
whips by Benoit and a nice dropkick for two, Steiner powders. Steiner uses the
referee as a shield, low blow by Steiner. Leg lock by Steiner, Benoit fires
back but falls flat as Steiner avoids a dropkick. Reverse chinlock by Steiner,
Benoit slides out of a powerbomb but Benoit botches the sunset flip. Small
package by Benoit for two, Steiner rams Benoit sternum first into the
turnbuckle. Two for Steiner, German suplex by Steiner. Two for Steiner, Steiner
pays for his pandering with a huge DDT from Benoit. Shoulder block by Benoit,
chops by The Rabid Wolverine. German suplexes by Benoit, two for Benoit.
Steiner whips the referee into Benoit, clothesline by Benoit.
Steiner
grabs a chair from ringside, Benoit ducks and exploder suplexes Steiner. Benoit
punches the chair into Steiner’s face, Benoit calls for the end. Benoit goes
for The Diving Headbutt but Steiner throws the chair into Benoit’s face.
Malenko has the chair and wallops Benoit, Steiner laughs his head off and we
have a new champion in Rick Steiner, Malenko embraces Saturn as The Revolution
is together without Benoit.
Well, as if
they could put the screws to Benoit anymore in this company. This match was
dull for the most part, Benoit’s comeback was good though. The finish was
disappointing, would have preferred Benoit to walk away with the win and I do
not know where to go with anyone in this match. Just seems they were all
spinning their wheels, throwing things at the wall and none of it truly
sticking. I think Benoit and his Radical colleagues could not wait to get out
of this company.
Winner:
Rick Steiner over Chris Benoit via Malenko Chair Shot!
Lex Luger W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Bret Hart
Despite appearing
like a babyface half an hour before this match, Luger is the heel as Luger cost
Hart the chance of becoming champion. Luger and Elizabeth are together with
Savage leaving the company earlier in the month, Hart has an injured ankle
going into the match. Not sure when the last time I saw Luger on pay per view
wrestling was, I remember him being in the corner of Nash at the start of the
year for his matches but an actual Luger match, I am not sure.
Hart goes
right after Luger, lots of punches and Luger meets the guard rail. Luger begs
for mercy, Hart drops a headbutt on the nuts. Luger is raked off the top rope,
right hands by Hart. Choke by Hart, Luger is tossed to the floor and bounced
off everything. Luger is still begging for mercy, eye rake by Luger. Luger
elbows the face of Hart repeatedly, two for Luger. Hart headbutts the back of
Luger, Russian legsweep by Hart for two. Inverted atomic drop and clothesline
by Hart, backbreaker and middle rope elbow by Hart. Two for Hart, Sharpshooter
is blocked with an eye poke. Both men spill to the floor in a what the fuck
kind of spot.
Hart
clutches his ankle, Luger finally attacks the leg of Hart. Single leg Boston
crab by Luger, Hart screams out in pain. Luger makes Hart tap…Just like that….
With no build or anything? Luger just kicks the leg a few fucking times and it’s
over within seconds with a shitty looking Boston crab? Are you kidding me? That’s
it WCW, you were having a shit show but this was just ridiculous, poorly
executed and poorly thought out, Luger beating Hart for what reason? What plans
could you have for Luger? And guess what? Bret Hart will be champion in two
months.
Winner: Lex
Luger over Bret Hart via Single Leg Boston Crab!
Madusa Segment
Madusa comes
to the arena with The Nitro Cologne modelling it in her bikini, lovely stuff.
Madusa calls the mess bullshit, Madusa covers Heenan in the cologne.
(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Sting © vs Hulk
Hogan
Sting was
turned heel, great choice WCW. Hogan vows revenge for being screwed by Sting, Hogan’s
music plays for a large amount of time with no Hogan. Schiavone seems confused
on commentary, Sting’s music now plays. Hogan walks down to the ring in jeans
and a sleeveless shirt, what in God’s name is going on? This is your
championship match, this is Hogan vs Sting, a match a lot of people wanted to
see in this ring. Hogan lies down in the middle of the ring, Sting covers Hogan
and this match is over. Man, they cut away so fast you do not even get to see
what the fans thought. Honestly, they lost me in that last match so this did
not even hit me that hard despite it being an absolute farce and complete
bullshit.
Winner:
Sting over Hogan!
(WCW United States Championship Match) Sid Vicious © vs
Goldberg
The match
begins with The Outsiders attacking Goldberg, you have Hall and Nash sitting
around doing nothing on this show? Another wise choice, those guys clearly aren’t
over like Brad Armstrong or Rick Steiner. Sid jumps all over Goldberg until
Goldberg begins to fight back. Sid is dropped on the guard rail, Goldberg bumps
Sid off the steel steps, Sid is a bloody mess. Sid big boots Goldberg in the
ring, camel clutch by Sid. Goldberg muscles out and electric chair drops Sid,
two for Goldberg. Goldberg elbows and rips at the face of Sid, Goldberg pummels
Sid, opening up his wound. The referee calls for the bell due to excessive blood
loss.
That’s one
way to protect Sid losing but you are taking the piss with this pay per view. Every
decision is just wrong, every big match ends in a disappointing manner, I have
lost all hope of any decent card from WCW. Halloween Havoc is a new low on an
already awful year for WCW.
Winner:
Goldberg over Sid via Referee Stoppage!
(Leather Strap Match) DDP W/ Kimberley vs Ric Flair
Kimberley
looks amazing, Kimberley is underrated. Sting’s music is playing, what the fuck
is going on with this show? Sting issues an open challenge for later on in the
night, hooray for all of us. Different kind of leather strap match, you do not
have to touch all four corners but rather you can win by pin-fall or
submission. DDP is on the floor and the apron, hiding from Flair. Flair chops
DDP, right hands by Flair. Flair pulls DDP into the ringpost using the strap,
DDP is bounced off the guard rail. Eye poke by DDP, Flair is bounced off the
guard rail. DDP and Flair brawl in the crowd, they make their way back to
ringside with Flair being a bloody mess.
DDP pummels
Flair against the guard rail, DDP whips Flair on the announce table. Elbow by
DDP for two, DDP does not deliver The Diamond Cutter as Flair low blows DDP.
Flair whips DDP, Flair ties up DDP and chops DDP. Flair clotheslines DDP, knee
drop. Chop block by Flair, Figure Four by Flair. DDP is being choked by the
strap, two close calls for DDP. DDP reaches the ropes, right hands by Flair.
Headbutt to the balls by DDP, strap rake by DDP. Diamond Cutter by DDP, this
match is over as DDP drops the referee.
That was
boring, lots of crowd brawling which is often lazy and repetitive, action in
the ring was boring too and that finish, Robinson did not want to count three?
Flair was meant to kick out? Who fucking knows, you can piss off WCW you are a
joke.
Sting vs Goldberg
Sting calls
someone out and out comes Goldberg, they lock-up with Goldberg kneeing Sting.
Clothesline by Goldberg, more right hands by The Man. Sting is sent into the
guard rail, Sting sends Goldberg into the ringpost. Sting nails a top rope
splash for two, Spear by Sting on Goldberg. Goldberg no-sells, Goldberg misses
a Spear. Stinger splash, make it three. Goldberg ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs
Sting and nails a Spear. Jackhammer by Goldberg, goodnight.
Winner:
Goldberg over Sting via Jackhammer!
That was WCW’s
Halloween Havoc 1999, one of the worst shows I have ever reviewed for this
site. Pathetic display from WCW, I would not have watched this show for free,
you could not pay me enough to sit throw this show again. Garbage matches all
around, not one decent finish. Random appearances from Outsiders and a Bagwell
thing, faces and heels not being clear in the slightest. Hogan laying down for
Sting fucking the fans out of a title match and to top it all off, Goldberg
walks off with the championship when the referee and the announcers cannot even
tell us if it was a title match or not, this show was insulting and utter
shite. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!
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