Sunday 2 July 2017

WCW Halloween Havoc 1999 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that Braun Strowman is done with! WCW and 1999 continue to despise each other, this is a sinking ship and the cards are getting more chaotic and less fun with each instalment. How anybody was still watching is beyond me, the angles are laughable, the wrestlers don’t care and as a result, nobody is having fun. However, this is Halloween Havoc 1999, featuring the likes of Hulk Hogan vs Sting, Sid vs Goldberg, Bret Hart vs Lex Luger and DDP vs Ric Flair. I am trying, I am telling you I really am but this company is sucking the life out of me. Will this show kill me off? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

Not much of a package, we can gather Goldberg is facing Sid for the championship and Goldberg broke the stipulation of touching Sid but it seems the match will take place regardless of that. Also, Sting vs Hogan as Sting has turned heel, screwing over the fans.

(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Disco Inferno © vs Lash Leroux

Disco clotheslines and stomps Lash, Irish whip to the corner. Eye poke and DDT by Disco, choke by Disco. Lash avoids a back drop and nails a dropkick and scoop slam, powerslam by Lash for two. Knee drop for two, right hands by Lash. Two for the challenger, awkward back elbow by Disco. Lash sidesteps Disco, Lash is sent shoulder first into the ringpost by Disco. Lash counters a double axe handle for a belly to belly suplex, Lash climbs to the top rope, Lash spikes himself with a diving hurricanrana.

Reverse chinlock by Lash, Disco fights out for a clothesline. Lash skins the cat, The Last Dance is avoided for a backbreaker, Lash stomps Disco. Disco faceplants Lash, neckbreaker for two. Irish whip to the corner, Russian legsweep by Disco. Middle rope elbow for two, elbow by Disco. Macarena Piledriver by Disco, Lash kicks out at two. Lash nails a Blue Thunder Bomb for two, Disco slides out of a Death Valley Driver, inverted atomic drop and a Last Dance, this match is over. Lash nails Disco with a Samoan Driver on the belt after the match.

Very sloppy, Lash might have been nervous or green or a combination of both but it was not happening for Lash on this night. They messed up a lot of spots, they did not recover well, it just came off like trash. Also, what happened to Lenny Lane? Disco won the championship on TV? There is also new tag team champions? Harlem Heat lost the titles already after winning them back after two pay per views? Are you joking me? Fuck this company!

Winner: Disco Inferno over Lash Leroux via Last Dance!

Revolution/Harlem Heat Segment

The Revolution are splitting up despite just being formed? Could it be that they were jobbed out at the last pay per view? Kidding, they are splitting though. Harlem Heat wish to regain the titles, Booker cuts a great promo while Stevie Ray just stands there.

(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) Harlem Heat vs The Filthy Animals © vs The First Family W/ Jimmy Hart

Mysterio got injured so the titles are up for grabs despite Konnan and Kidman wearing the belts to the ring, it is falls count anywhere too for good measure. Weapon shots everywhere, Morrus pins Booker for two. Knobbs cracks Morrus by mistake, Booker covers yet Kidman saves the match. Jimmy Hart is chased by Booker, Knobbs waffles Booker with a trash can. Knobbs is tossed through stage props, Kidman and Konnan double team Morrus. Morrus press slams Kidman onto a chair, Booker knocks Stevie Ray through some cardboard boxes, Knobbs is fighting off two men while Morrus is doing the same.

Jimmy Hart pulls out a table, Booker is on a table backstage with Knobbs. Morrus measures Konnan for No Laughing Matter through the table but Booker pins Knobbs backstage as Stevie Ray waffles Knobbs with a mummy. Kidman and Konnan pin Morrus in the ring, the camera misses it completely. So, confusion with Harlem Heat walking away with the gold, Konnan looks to be legitimately injured too to add the shitty cherry to this cake.

A joke of a match, just plodding and weapon shots with a poor attempt to replicate the hardcore division of the WWF at the time. Pure confusion with the fans as they miss the finish, confusion as the camera crew miss the other pin in the ring, just shoddy stuff all around. DUD!

Winners: Harlem Heat over Everyone Else via Mummy to The Head!

DDP/Ric Flair Segment

Flair is with his son, carrying a crowbar while DDP strolls down to the ring with the beautiful Kimberley. Kimberley tells everyone that DDP enjoys spanking her in the bedroom, thanks for that Ms. Page. DDP makes the match a leather strap match with Flair, what a genius idea to do that on pay per view, I am sure that got a lot of last minute buys…. You morons!

Eddie Guerrero vs Perry Saturn

Eddie was the man two years ago at this event, he was one of the hottest heels and stole the show with Rey Mysterio. Fast-forward two years and following a horrific car crash, Eddie is stuck in the same position but not for a lack of trying, what is funny about this match is Eddie cuts a bad promo beforehand although it is alluded he stole a rolex from Ric Flair, Lying, Cheating and Stealing did have some roots in WCW.

Saturn and Eddie start off quick, stungun and double stomp by Saturn. Two for Saturn, Eddie kicks the knee of Saturn. Saturn is tossed to the floor, elbow by Eddie. Saturn meets the guard rail, Eddie takes too much time which allows Saturn to throw Eddie onto the steel steps. Powerbomb with a jacknife cover for two, springboard crossbody for two. Wristlock into an armwringer by Saturn, Saturn sits for an armbar. Eddie fights back only to eat a flapjack, cross armbreaker by Saturn. Right hands by Saturn, Eddie goes to the leg. Snapmare and face stomp by Eddie, low dropkick on Saturn for two. Saturn works the leg of Eddie with holds, right hands by Saturn.

Heel hold by Saturn, Eddie eye pokes Saturn. Short-arm scissors by Eddie, Saturn powers out of the hold. Springboard moonsault by Saturn for two, Saturn tries again but Eddie blocks with the knees. Brainbuster by Eddie, Eddie is on the top turnbuckle but Saturn dodges The Frog Splash. Eddie avoids a springboard crossbody with a dropkick, Irish whip by Eddie. Saturn hotshots Eddie into the top turnbuckle, Saturn crotches Eddie on the top rope. Belly to belly suplex by Saturn, Saturn places Eddie on the top turnbuckle. Saturn looks for a SplashMountain powerbomb but Eddie slips out and superplexes Saturn. Here is Flair with a crowbar, Flair stomps Eddie and whacks him with the crowbar. Kidman is wiped out and here is Torrie Wilson, Flair kisses Torrie.

That was a disappointment, Saturn and Eddie worked an interesting enough match, it had me going towards the end and then, the finish came. So, Flair arrived and took about ten minutes to find the entrance way even though if he wanted to, he could have killed Eddie and got his rolex back at anytime. Aren’t The Filthy Animals rebellious babyfaces? I could not tell by the end of this, all the fans cared about was Flair.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero over Saturn via DQ!

Sid & Goldberg Fight/Buff Bagwell

The cameras cut to Goldberg kicking the shit out of Sid, Sid is bleeding. Buff Bagwell comes down to the ring, the man who refused to job to Berlyn. Bagwell starts talking about the new writers, the powers that be and Jeff Jarrett. Here comes Jarrett, Bagwell beats the piss out of Jarrett. Jarrett turns the tide beating up Bagwell, here is Lex Luger. Luger has the guitar, Bagwell is hit with the guitar and it does not shatter, of course. Luger shows no remorse for Bagwell, what the hell was this angle?

Brad Armstrong vs Beryln W/ The Wall

After debuting and not getting the favours done by Bagwell, Berlyn looks to defeat Brad Armstrong, the man who would be in the same league as Jerry Flynn and Kenny Kaos. Berlyn snap suplexes Armstrong for two, Berlyn works the arm. Right hand by Berlyn, dropkick and hiptoss by Armstrong for two. Berlyn counters a side headlock for a back suplex, uppercut by Berlyn. Powerbomb by Berlyn for two, spinning heel kick by Berlyn. Berlyn covers cockily, Armstrong reverses the pin for two. Crossbody by Berlyn for two, clothesline by Berlyn for two. Berlyn elbows Armstrong over and over, right hands and stomps by Berlyn. Neckbreaker attempt goes wrong as Armstrong holds onto the ropes, Armstrong covers for the win.

Well, there’s that gimmick dead and buried before it even had a chance. DUD!

Winner: Brad Armstrong over Berlyn via Cover?

(WCW Television Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs Rick Steiner

Benoit won the championship that means nothing after losing The United States Championship to Sid, Benoit has left The Revolution and that’s it in terms of relevant information to this match. Bell rings and Steiner stays on the floor, begging Benoit to come to the floor. Benoit slides out, Steiner slides in and clubs the shit out of Benoit. Powerslam by Steiner for two, Benoit dodges an elbow and chops Steiner. Boot by Steiner, Benoit has Steiner on the top turnbuckle. Superplex by Benoit, Benoit stomps all over Steiner. Steiner avoids The Crossface by jumping to the floor, suicide dive by Benoit. Benoit misses a splash on the guard rail, Benoit is bounced off the guard rail which leads to a two for Steiner.

Hard Irish whips by Benoit and a nice dropkick for two, Steiner powders. Steiner uses the referee as a shield, low blow by Steiner. Leg lock by Steiner, Benoit fires back but falls flat as Steiner avoids a dropkick. Reverse chinlock by Steiner, Benoit slides out of a powerbomb but Benoit botches the sunset flip. Small package by Benoit for two, Steiner rams Benoit sternum first into the turnbuckle. Two for Steiner, German suplex by Steiner. Two for Steiner, Steiner pays for his pandering with a huge DDT from Benoit. Shoulder block by Benoit, chops by The Rabid Wolverine. German suplexes by Benoit, two for Benoit. Steiner whips the referee into Benoit, clothesline by Benoit.

Steiner grabs a chair from ringside, Benoit ducks and exploder suplexes Steiner. Benoit punches the chair into Steiner’s face, Benoit calls for the end. Benoit goes for The Diving Headbutt but Steiner throws the chair into Benoit’s face. Malenko has the chair and wallops Benoit, Steiner laughs his head off and we have a new champion in Rick Steiner, Malenko embraces Saturn as The Revolution is together without Benoit.

Well, as if they could put the screws to Benoit anymore in this company. This match was dull for the most part, Benoit’s comeback was good though. The finish was disappointing, would have preferred Benoit to walk away with the win and I do not know where to go with anyone in this match. Just seems they were all spinning their wheels, throwing things at the wall and none of it truly sticking. I think Benoit and his Radical colleagues could not wait to get out of this company.

Winner: Rick Steiner over Chris Benoit via Malenko Chair Shot!

Lex Luger W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Bret Hart

Despite appearing like a babyface half an hour before this match, Luger is the heel as Luger cost Hart the chance of becoming champion. Luger and Elizabeth are together with Savage leaving the company earlier in the month, Hart has an injured ankle going into the match. Not sure when the last time I saw Luger on pay per view wrestling was, I remember him being in the corner of Nash at the start of the year for his matches but an actual Luger match, I am not sure.

Hart goes right after Luger, lots of punches and Luger meets the guard rail. Luger begs for mercy, Hart drops a headbutt on the nuts. Luger is raked off the top rope, right hands by Hart. Choke by Hart, Luger is tossed to the floor and bounced off everything. Luger is still begging for mercy, eye rake by Luger. Luger elbows the face of Hart repeatedly, two for Luger. Hart headbutts the back of Luger, Russian legsweep by Hart for two. Inverted atomic drop and clothesline by Hart, backbreaker and middle rope elbow by Hart. Two for Hart, Sharpshooter is blocked with an eye poke. Both men spill to the floor in a what the fuck kind of spot.

Hart clutches his ankle, Luger finally attacks the leg of Hart. Single leg Boston crab by Luger, Hart screams out in pain. Luger makes Hart tap…Just like that…. With no build or anything? Luger just kicks the leg a few fucking times and it’s over within seconds with a shitty looking Boston crab? Are you kidding me? That’s it WCW, you were having a shit show but this was just ridiculous, poorly executed and poorly thought out, Luger beating Hart for what reason? What plans could you have for Luger? And guess what? Bret Hart will be champion in two months.

Winner: Lex Luger over Bret Hart via Single Leg Boston Crab!

Madusa Segment

Madusa comes to the arena with The Nitro Cologne modelling it in her bikini, lovely stuff. Madusa calls the mess bullshit, Madusa covers Heenan in the cologne.

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Sting © vs Hulk Hogan

Sting was turned heel, great choice WCW. Hogan vows revenge for being screwed by Sting, Hogan’s music plays for a large amount of time with no Hogan. Schiavone seems confused on commentary, Sting’s music now plays. Hogan walks down to the ring in jeans and a sleeveless shirt, what in God’s name is going on? This is your championship match, this is Hogan vs Sting, a match a lot of people wanted to see in this ring. Hogan lies down in the middle of the ring, Sting covers Hogan and this match is over. Man, they cut away so fast you do not even get to see what the fans thought. Honestly, they lost me in that last match so this did not even hit me that hard despite it being an absolute farce and complete bullshit.

Winner: Sting over Hogan!

(WCW United States Championship Match) Sid Vicious © vs Goldberg

The match begins with The Outsiders attacking Goldberg, you have Hall and Nash sitting around doing nothing on this show? Another wise choice, those guys clearly aren’t over like Brad Armstrong or Rick Steiner. Sid jumps all over Goldberg until Goldberg begins to fight back. Sid is dropped on the guard rail, Goldberg bumps Sid off the steel steps, Sid is a bloody mess. Sid big boots Goldberg in the ring, camel clutch by Sid. Goldberg muscles out and electric chair drops Sid, two for Goldberg. Goldberg elbows and rips at the face of Sid, Goldberg pummels Sid, opening up his wound. The referee calls for the bell due to excessive blood loss.

That’s one way to protect Sid losing but you are taking the piss with this pay per view. Every decision is just wrong, every big match ends in a disappointing manner, I have lost all hope of any decent card from WCW. Halloween Havoc is a new low on an already awful year for WCW.

Winner: Goldberg over Sid via Referee Stoppage!

(Leather Strap Match) DDP W/ Kimberley vs Ric Flair

Kimberley looks amazing, Kimberley is underrated. Sting’s music is playing, what the fuck is going on with this show? Sting issues an open challenge for later on in the night, hooray for all of us. Different kind of leather strap match, you do not have to touch all four corners but rather you can win by pin-fall or submission. DDP is on the floor and the apron, hiding from Flair. Flair chops DDP, right hands by Flair. Flair pulls DDP into the ringpost using the strap, DDP is bounced off the guard rail. Eye poke by DDP, Flair is bounced off the guard rail. DDP and Flair brawl in the crowd, they make their way back to ringside with Flair being a bloody mess.

DDP pummels Flair against the guard rail, DDP whips Flair on the announce table. Elbow by DDP for two, DDP does not deliver The Diamond Cutter as Flair low blows DDP. Flair whips DDP, Flair ties up DDP and chops DDP. Flair clotheslines DDP, knee drop. Chop block by Flair, Figure Four by Flair. DDP is being choked by the strap, two close calls for DDP. DDP reaches the ropes, right hands by Flair. Headbutt to the balls by DDP, strap rake by DDP. Diamond Cutter by DDP, this match is over as DDP drops the referee.

That was boring, lots of crowd brawling which is often lazy and repetitive, action in the ring was boring too and that finish, Robinson did not want to count three? Flair was meant to kick out? Who fucking knows, you can piss off WCW you are a joke.

Sting vs Goldberg

Sting calls someone out and out comes Goldberg, they lock-up with Goldberg kneeing Sting. Clothesline by Goldberg, more right hands by The Man. Sting is sent into the guard rail, Sting sends Goldberg into the ringpost. Sting nails a top rope splash for two, Spear by Sting on Goldberg. Goldberg no-sells, Goldberg misses a Spear. Stinger splash, make it three. Goldberg ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs Sting and nails a Spear. Jackhammer by Goldberg, goodnight.

Winner: Goldberg over Sting via Jackhammer!

That was WCW’s Halloween Havoc 1999, one of the worst shows I have ever reviewed for this site. Pathetic display from WCW, I would not have watched this show for free, you could not pay me enough to sit throw this show again. Garbage matches all around, not one decent finish. Random appearances from Outsiders and a Bagwell thing, faces and heels not being clear in the slightest. Hogan laying down for Sting fucking the fans out of a title match and to top it all off, Goldberg walks off with the championship when the referee and the announcers cannot even tell us if it was a title match or not, this show was insulting and utter shite. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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