Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that ain’t no casshole! WWE’s No Way Out of 2005, an exclusive for the Smackdown brand and out final stop before Wrestlemania. With Batista choosing to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, Smackdown was without a challenger for the WWE Championship. Have no fear though as up stepped the fastest rising star on the show, John Cena. Cena may not have the finished product just yet but Cena was well on his way to becoming the man, he just has to get through Kurt Angle first. Other big matches include Luther Reigns taking on The Undertaker, Heidenreich vs Booker T and JBL defending his WWE championship against The Big Show in a barbed wire cage match. Will this Smackdown pay per view be a two match show? Let’s find out!
Barbed wire imagery, a demonic cage match. We have clips of the men behind the cage, matched up with a sinister narrator. We are all animals, we want to survive, we want to thrive. However, there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, there is No Way Out! Love it and Fozzy is doing the theme so a nice plug for Y2J.
(WWE Tag Team Championship Match) Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio vs The Basham Brothers ©
Following a resurrection under JBL, The Bashams captured the tag team championships while Mysterio teams with Eddie Guerrero due to RVD’s injury. Eddie is still super over despite dropping out of the main event scene while Mysterio continues to be popular even if the booking is not complimentary to The Master of The 619. The Bashams are wearing some sweet threads, Eddie starts with Danny Basham. Lock-up, front chancery from Eddie. Danny takes the arm, Eddie sweeps Danny and twists the ankle. Danny grabs the arm, Eddie armdrags Danny and tags Mysterio. Corner spear by Mysterio, snapmare and leg drop for two, Danny shoves Mysterio into the corner.
Doug tags in, Danny chokes Mysterio with the tag rope. Springboard armdrag by Mysterio, tag to Eddie. Irish whip and back elbow by Eddie, hurricanrana by Eddie. Doug backs Eddie into the corner, shoulder thrusts and a tag to Danny. Knees by Danny, straight-jacket hold by Danny. Eddie escapes for a back suplex, Danny tags Doug. Doug elbows Eddie, two for Doug. Right hand by Doug, Irish whip to the corner. Eddie boots Doug but runs into a powerslam, Doug climbs to the top turnbuckle. Eddie avoids the headbutt, tag to Mysterio. Springboard crossbody by Mysterio for two, bulldog by Mysterio for two. Danny saves Doug, they switch out behind the referee’s back. Clothesline by Danny, Danny stomps all over Mysterio.
Danny has a full-nelson on Mysterio, Danny transitions into a waistlock. Shoulder thrusts by Danny, hard Irish whip by Danny. Eddie takes a shot to the face, Doug switches with Danny as the champions stomp all over Mysterio. Double hotshot by The Bashams, two for Danny. Chokehold by Danny, Mysterio almost reaches Eddie before Danny drags back Mysterio. Tag to Doug, hard Irish whip by Doug. Doug props Mysterio on the top turnbuckle, Mysterio knocks off Doug and nails a moonsault for two. Doug drags Mysterio to his corner, tag to Danny who applies a reverse chinlock to Mysterio. Mysterio is clubbed down by Danny who tags in Doug.
Mysterio eats a huge facebuster from The Bashams, Eddie saves Mysterio. Mysterio fights out of the corner, Mysterio runs around both Bashams and tags Eddie. Clotheslines and dropkicks all around, back drop for Danny. Dropkick to Doug, springboard armdrag/headscissors combination. The Bashams double chokeslam Eddie for two after Doug saves Danny from being pinned. Double suplex is blocked by Mysterio, inside cradle by Eddie on Danny for two. Mysterio is sent into the barricade by Doug, Eddie grabs a championship. Mysterio says no to Eddie, Eddie goes for The Frog Splash and rolls through. Doug thinks Eddie is down, small package by Eddie for two.
Danny throws Eddie the belt, Eddie tosses Doug the belt. Mysterio gives Eddie the other belt, Eddie wipes out Doug while Mysterio takes out Danny on the apron with a 619. Eddie covers and we have new WWE Tag Team Champions!
That was a good opening match, Eddie and Mysterio are your best options to fire up a crowd on Smackdown, Bashams are fine as heels. I never bought into them as the top heels but it was such a bad time to be a tag team in WWE, one of the most boring periods for tag teams. Liked the way they worked the Mysterio tag and Eddie’s antics are always fun. Finish was fun with Mysterio giving into Eddie’s ways and allowing Eddie to do what Eddie does best: Lie, Cheat and Steal.
Winners: Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio over The Basham Brothers via Championship to the Face!
Carlito introduces Mrs. Rodriguez to Theodore Long, the board of directors are considering firing Theodore Long. Theodore Long has to sign Batista and Carlito thinks this is very cool.
Torrie Wilson/Dawn Marie Rookie Diva Contest
Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson talk on commentary with Tazz and Michael Cole, the contestants are Joy Giovanni, Rochelle Loewen, Lauren Jones, and Michelle McCool. The first contest part is The Evening Gown contest, Joy Giovanni is going for it by showing her ass crack out of the dress. The supposed playboy girls have way more class which is funny.
Heidenreich vs Booker T
Heidenreich is feuding with Booker T because Booker T thought Heidenreich was laughing at him, well at least it is not over a Japanese shampoo commercial. Heidenreich reads us all a poem, it is lovely. Lock-up with Booker shoving back Heidenreich, lock-up and Heidenreich clubs down Booker. Clothesline by Heidenreich for two, Booker counters with a side shuffle kick, chops and right hands by Booker against the ropes. Back elbow by Heidenreich, Booker rolls out of the ring. Superkick by Booker for two, Heidenreich powers up for a scoop slam. Huge clothesline by Heidenreich, Booker is shoved into the ringpost. Cobra clutch by Heidenreich, transition into a slam for two. Heidenreich has a top wristlock applied to Booker.
Booker eats a knee before countering an Irish whip for a spinebuster. Booker chops and smacks Heidenreich, flying forearm and a Harlem sidekick. Spinaroonie, Scissors Kick is dodged. The BookEnd is blocked, Booker whips Heidenreich to the floor, Heidenreich grabs a chair and decks Booker T in the face. DUD!
Winner: Booker T over Heidenreich via DQ!
John Cena and The Smackdown Babyfaces
Eddie wants a word with Cena, Eddie congratulates Cena on having the opportunity to headline Wrestlemania. Eddie hammers home the point that Cena could be the next big star, Eddie knows Angle inside out and Cena says he will headline Wrestlemania because Cena will not tap out to The Ankle Lock. Good stuff, I like that Eddie was hyping up Cena. Last year’s babyface for Wrestlemnia talking to this year’s awesome little treat there.
(WWE Cruiserweight Championship Elimination Match) Funaki © vs Shannon Moore vs Spike Dudley vs Paul London vs Chavo Guerrero vs Akio
Six of the best on Smackdown face off to win the championship, two men are in the ring while the other participants wait on the apron. Funaki and London to begin the match, lock-up with Funaki pushing London onto the ropes. London takes the back, side headlock by London. Shoulder block by London, Funaki sweeps the legs for two. Japanese armdrag by London, London mule kicks Funaki into the turnbuckle, Funaki avoids a splash for a modified bulldog. Spike knees Funaki in the back and London rolls-up the champion. Seconds later, Funaki superkicks Spike and that leads to Spike’s elimination.
Spike Dudley/Funaki have been eliminated by Paul London!
Moore comes in with a diving hurricanrana, two for Moore. Jacknife cover by Moore for two, backslide for two. London leapfrogs Moore and rolls-up Moore for two. Irish whip to the corner by Moore, make it two. Moore misses a corkscrew splash, 450 Splash by London and we are down to three.
Shannon Moore has been eliminated by Paul London!
Clothesline by Akio, stomps by Akio. Headscissors choke by Akio, two for Akio. Reverse chinlock by Akio, enzuigiri by Akio for two. Kimura from Akio, London kicks his way out of the hold. Akio stomps on London, huge chops in the corner. Akio has London for a superplex, London drops Akio with a huge neckbreaker. London answers the count at nine while Akio fails to get up at ten.
Akio has been eliminated by Paul London!
Chavo struts in and clotheslines London for two, Chavo is not happy with London surviving the onslaught. Small package by London for two, uppercut by Chavo. Clubbing blows by London, London avoids a neckbreaker and covers for two, dragon suplex by London for two. Forearms by London, back drop by London. Dropsault for two, Chavo rams London’s head off the top rope. Chavo goes for a suplex, London slides out for a roll-up, Chavo reverses the roll-up and uses the ropes to pin London.
It was ok, I never understood why they put the belt on Funaki, if they wanted to do something worthwhile with the division, they would have kept the belt on Spike until London was ready to defeat the champion as the new top babyface. Anyways, a lot of quick eliminations, Funaki and Spike were non-factors, not a lot of high-flying or high-risk manoeuvres despite that being the appeal of the division, not a good match just filler.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero over Paul London via Roll-Up!
Batista Package/Rules for The Main Event
Highlights of Batista on Smackdown destroying The Cabinet, JBL’s limo was destroyed by The Animal. We also have Tazz going over the rules for the main event, pin-fall and submissions count as you are not going to be climbing over the top with barbed wire covering the cage.
Diva’s Rookie Challenge Again!
The Divas are here again to show off their talents, Joy does massages and wants to massage Torrie Wilson. Joy strips to her underwear, showing up her skirt and showing off her ass. Somebody really wants to win, the next Diva tells some terrible jokes. The next girl dances before Michelle McCool slams Dawn Marie. JBL cuts a good promo after that segment.
The Undertaker vs Luther Reigns
I am not looking forward to this in the slightest, the greener and less athletic of the Team Angle duo battles The Undertaker who just finished working with Heidenreich. At least they cut The Deadman a break for Wrestlemania, Jindrak wants a piece of Undertaker really bad and guess what happens, Jindrak is not ringside for the match. Taker pummels Reigns, Reigns clubs Taker after Taker lowers his head off an Irish whip. Taker big boots Reigns with ease, shoulder thrusts by The Deadman. Old School by The Deadman, complete shot by Taker for two. Chokehold from Taker, Reigns exposes the top turnbuckle. Reigns clubs Taker, Taker blocks hitting the top turnbuckle. Right hands by The Deadman, Reigns is whipped into the corner and springs out with a clothesline.
Undertaker regains control as Reigns is whipped into the exposed turnbuckle, elbows by Taker and his signature Apron leg drop. Reigns begs for mercy, Reigns low blows Taker with the referee not seeing it happen, Reigns bounces Taker’s head off the exposed turnbuckle. Reigns has Taker on the floor, The Deadman is bounced off the steel steps. Taker rolls into the ring as Reigns stomps all over Taker. Hard Irish whips into the turnbuckles and a suplex by Reigns for two, knee drops and elbows by Reigns. Scoop slam and elbow for two by Reigns, single leg Boston crab by Reigns. Taker fights his way back into the match, headbutt by Taker. Taker boots Reigns out of the corner but Reigns hits a horrid looking spear for two.
Elbow by Reigns for two, Reigns is looking for his reverse neckbreaker DDT thing but Taker knees his way out. Right hands by Taker, knee by Reigns. Leaping clothesline by Taker, corner clothesline. Snake eyes and a leg drop for two, Chokeslam by Taker. Taker calls for The Tombstone, Reverse DDT by Reigns. Cover for two, Reigns tries for it again but Taker reverses for a DDT. Tombstone Piledriver and the match is over.
Very boring match to watch, Reigns was just not working and god bless them, they were trying to do something with him but it was not working whatsoever. The whole match I was just waiting for the tombstone, it took forever to come but we got there in the end. Taker must have been so happy to see that Orton would be the next name he would be working with, I am good with Taker vs other big man matches, something new will be very appreciated!
Winner: The Undertaker over Luther Reigns via Tombstone Piledriver!
Divas Rookie Contest Finale
Rochelle, Joy, Michelle and Lauren get ready for the bathing suit contest. This is scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of filler, they have fifteen seconds to impress everyone. Joy takes off her gear and shows her thong to everyone before bouncing what she has in the trunk. Might be one of the best booty shakes you ever seen, Rochelle looks great but does not show off much for the audience. Rochelle shows off her gear without really posing or milking it. Isn’t it weird to see Undertaker’s wife take part in this type of thing. She does a cartwheel but there is only one winner and it is Joy who went all in on winning.
(WWE Championship Number One Contender’s Tournament Final) John Cena vs Kurt Angle
We are down to two, it is John Cena vs Kurt Angle. I found it interesting that they were teasing that Batista could sign for Smackdown even though this match is for the number one contendership spot. So, it was possible we could have had a triple threat between the champion, the winner of this match and Batista.
Angle takes down Cena with a side headlock, shoulder blocks and a belly to belly suplex by Angle. Another side headlock on the ground by Angle, Cena backs Angle into the corner and we have a clean break. Drop toehold into a front chancery by Angle, Cena backs Angle into the ropes. Irish whip by Angle, Cena clotheslines Angle to the floor after holding onto the ropes. Cena spears Angle over the announce table, right hands by The Doctor of Thuganomics. Fisherman suplex by Cena for two, right hands by Cena.
Angle reverses an Irish whip, Cena explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. FU attempt with Angle sliding out to the floor, Cena batters Angle when Angle re-enters the ring. Angle whips Cena to the corner, Angle German suplexes Cena into the corner. Angle knees Cena hard, elbows to the back of the head. Suplex by Angle for two, backbreaker for two. Snapmare into a bodyscissors by Angle, Cena breaks free with a back elbow. Angle recovers for German suplexes, two for Angle. Reverse chinlock from Angle, knees by Cena. Shoulder block by Cena, Cena right hands Angle and explodes with clotheslines. Angle rakes the eyes to stop Cena, Cena counters with a spinebuster.
Angle lures in Cena for another German suplex, Cena avoids a right hand for a back suplex for two. Cena measures for another FU, Angle rolls through for a roll-up, two for Angle. Cena springs up into a belly to belly suplex, Cena dodges an Angle Slam for a DDT. Two for Cena, Angle counters The FU for a victory roll into The Ankle Lock. Cena uses his legs to push Angle to the outside, Cena climbs the top rope and drops Angle with a guillotine leg drop for a two-count. Irish whip to the corner by Cena, Angle boots Cena off but runs into an FU. Cena gets a two from The FU, Cena is in shock. Angle kicks the knee of Cena, Ankle zeroes in on the knee, multiple elbows follow from The Olympic Hero.
Chop block by Angle, Angle drags Cena to the ringpost. Angle smashes Cena’s leg into the ringpost. Angle applies a hold but Cena reaches the ropes, Cena hobbles to the corner. Angle stomps the foot of Cena, Angle Slam connects. Ankle Lock by Angle, Cena reaches the ropes but Angle drags back Cena. Angle grapevines the ankle of Cena, Cena reaches the ropes. Angle clamps it on but Cena kicks back Angle into the referee. Angle grabs Cena’s chain, Cena spears Angle and FUs Angle on the one leg. Cena pins Angle and is going to Wrestlemania.
Not a classic by any stretch of the imagination, I expected better from these two but it never really clicked for me. What was the point of the referee bump, totally needless. Cena should be going over clean, Cena did go over clean yet they felt the need for a referee bump? Bottom line is Cena is the most over guy on the Smackdown roster, Cena is moving the merchandise and will be carrying the brand going forward even if the in-ring product is not there yet!
Winner: John Cena over Kurt Angle via FU!
(WWE Championship Match) JBL © vs The Big Show (Barbed-Wire Cage Match)
With JBL retaining the championship at Royal Rumble thanks to his cabinet, Big Show has an opportunity to win the championship inside a barbed wire steel cage match. There is also the element of Batista, the winner of The Royal Rumble. JBL has pissed off The Animal which means if JBL can survive Big Show, JBL might have to deal with Batista.
Show goes right for JBL, hard Irish whip followed by JBL blocking being sent into the cage. Chest slap by Big Show, huge right floors the champion. Headbutt by Show, JBL ducks a clothesline and chop blocks the challenger. Neckbreaker and JBL thinks about escaping, JBL tests the barbed wire and decides against it, JBL jumps into Show’s arm. Fallaway slam by Show for two, chest slap by Show. Another huge slap, eye rake by JBL. JBL tries escaping again, no opening on the cage. Shoulder block by Show, suplex by Show. Chest slap by Show, JBL boots Show in the face. Show is bounced off the steel cage, Show is bleeding all over the place.
JBL measures, top rope shoulder block and stomps to the back of the head. Chops and right hands by JBL, elbow drop for two. JBL exposes the top turnbuckle, taking the tag rope in his hand. JBL chokes the life out of Show, Show reverses the Irish whip for a side shuffle kick to the mush of the champion. Show powerbombs JBL, right hand by Show. JBL is bleeding too, having been sent into the steel cage. Show catapults JBL into the steel cage, Orlando Jordan and The Bashams try entering the cage. Theodore Long ejects Jordan and The Bashams, Jordan slides bolt cutters into the ring in a tiny hole in the cage. JBL waffles Show and nails The Clothesline From Hell, Show kicks out at two.
JBL tries again but Show Chokeslams JBL for two. JBL low blows Show, big boot for two. JBL has the bolt cutters, JBL begins climbing the cage, hoping to cut a hole so that he can escape the cage. Show climbs up with JBL, they battle on the top rope, Show sends JBL into the cage before chokeslamming the champion through the ring. JBL lays in the hole in the ring while Show does not try to pin the champion. Show rips off the lock on the door, opening the door on his way to victory but JBL crawls out through the bottom of the ring and wins the match.
So, after telling everyone that you can only win the match by pin-fall and submission, JBL crawls out under the ring which they do not show footage of and JBL retains his championship? Well, it is a clever way to show the slimeball JBL somehow holding onto the championship but it went against the rules of what you stated earlier and why would Big Show not simply drag out JBL and pin him? Does Show not look like a moron for not dragging Show onto the part of the ring that was still solid? At the end of the night, Cena and Batista help Show fight off the cabinet, fun stuff with a tease for a triple threat.
Winner: JBL over Big Show via Escaping The Cage!
That was WWE’s No Way Out of 2005, a poor show that is below the standard set by Raw at the beginning of the year. At least with New Year’s Revolution, you had an excellent Elimination Chamber Match. You were not so lucky with this show, it had Divas filler like the Raw show, it had some bad matches like Reigns vs Taker and the cruiserweight championship match. Cena and Angle was not a classic or the match you wanted for your next top star but at least the tag team championship match was fun. I would avoid this show, you did not miss much and you will not be entertained or feel like you saw something you needed to see. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night and I know what you came for…