Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that writes worse songs that Elias Samson! WWE’s Great American Bash of 2005, a Smackdown exclusive which is headlined by Batista vs JBL for the World Heavyweight Championship, Smackdown had seen a change with the draft, some for the better and some worse which hurt the brand. Raw was the flagship show and had been coming off strong in terms of pay per view, the question is can Smackdown step up and continue the string of good pay per views? Let’s find out!
Batista arrived on Smackdown much to the surprise and dismay of JBL, JBL challenges Batista while Batista guarantees to destroy JBL. The Undertaker is back to deal with Muhammad Hassan in what could be a fun match while Eddie Guerrero is the most sick man in the company in his pursuit of destroying Rey Mysterio. Eddie holds a secret over the head of Mysterio, what could it possibly be? Good promo package, the Eddie vs Mysterio comes off as very strong.
(WWE Tag Team Championship Match) MNM © W/ Melina vs Animal & Heidenreich
MNM were the bright new tag team on the scene on Smackdown, cocky pretty boys with the female manager, it is a good combination. Following the awkwardness of the old Heidenreich shtick, we have the monster as the partner of Animal. Animal dedicated this match to Hawk, they are not giving me much on why Animal is back but he is here to whip ass. Heidenreich and Mercury to begin the match, lock-up and side headlock by Mercury.
Heidenreich shoulder blocks Mercury who powders, the same thing happens again with Heidenreich flapjacking Mercury. Heidenereich shoves down Mercury and clotheslines one half of the champions. Tag to Animal, double shoulder block, Mercury boots Animal who was looking for a corner clothesline. Tag to Nitro, MNM try a double suplex but Animal suplexes MNM. Eye poke by Nitro, back drop by Animal. Tag to Heidenreich, throat toss by Heidenreich is blocked as Mercury chop blocks Heidenreich behind the referee’s back. Tag to Mercury who works the knee of Heidenreich, tag to Nitro who works the leg of the larger Heidenreich.
In comes Mercury, more leg work. Tag to Nitro, Nitro misses a leg drop but tags in Mercury. More leg work, Mercury’s figure four attempt is blocked as Heidenreich shoves off Mercury. Hot-tag to Animal, shoulder block and back suplex to Mercury, Nitro is dropkicked off the apron. Mercury avoids a corner splash, Nitro nails Animal with the tag team championship. Roll-up for two, The Snapshot is stopped by Heidenreich. Animal Powerslams Mercury and Heidenreich climbs up for The Doomsday Device and we have new tag team champions.
Nice nostalgia pop, Animal could still go in the ring and Heidenreich in tag team matches was for the best following his shortcomings in his single match feuds. I was expecting a lengthy reign for MNM considering they were the hot team in town but I guess plans change, the fans were digging it so I cannot be too harsh on it, great for Animal and I am happy anytime a legend can come back and show he still can get it done inside the ring.
Winners: Animal & Heidenreich over MNM via Doomsday Device!
Eddie Guerrero Promo
Eddie is with Josh Matthews, there is something going on and Eddie reveals that his son Dominic will be ringside for the match between Eddie and Mysterio. Very passionate and psychotic promo from Latino Heat, very uncomfortable and fitting for the angle.
Christian vs Booker T W/ Sharmell
This feud began with Christian being drafted to Smackdown, Christian would attack Booker T and cost Booker T the chance of competing for the world heavyweight championship. Booker gives chase to Christian, Christian stays far away from Booker. Christian jaw-jacks with the fans which leads to Booker jumping Christian. In the ring, Booker back elbows Christian. Chops by Booker, Christian powders off an Irish whip. Booker chops Christian on the ramp, back suplex by Booker. Booker catapults Christian into the top turnbuckle, schoolboy for two. Christian pulls the referee in front of him, Christian eye pokes Booker and sends Booker into the ringpost shoulder first. Swinging reverse DDT by Christian, Christian chokes Booker using the middle rope.
Booker fires up, spinning kick misses as Christian scores with a single arm DDT for two. Reverse chinlock by Christian, Booker fights back before Christian pulls Booker down by the hair, anaconda vice from Christian. Booker chops back at Christian, sidewalk slam by Booker. Booker misses a Harlem sidekick and crotches himself on the top rope. Christian puts his hands on Sharmell, Sharmell slaps Christian. Christian charges Sharmell, Booker nails The Book-End for two. Flying forearm and clotheslines by Booker, suplex by Booker for two. Sunset flip out of the corner by Booker, Christian rolls through and uses the ropes for leverage, two for Christian. Spinebuster by Booker, flapjack with a spinaroonie.
Scissors Kick is dodged, Unprettier is blocked as Booker shoves Christian to the corner. Ten punches by Booker, Christian counters with a powerbomb for two. Hotshot by Booker, missile dropkick by Booker for two. Eye poke by Christian and Booker is tossed to the floor, Booker sends Christian into the ringpost and bounces Captain Charisma off the steel steps. Booker climbs to the middle rope and slices Christian’s head off with a Scissors Kick for the win.
Underwhelming finish to an otherwise fun match, Christian worked the arm but it became a non-factor a few seconds later which is a shame, I liked the call-back to Christian’s initial assault on Booker but the execution was disappointing for the finish with the fans and the commentary team not reacting to that big spot. Christian had been great the last two pay per views, it looked like Christian was getting very over with the fans through his gimmick and performances in the ring, would have rated this higher if not for the abandoning of the arm work and the finish coming off flat.
Winner: Booker T over Christian via Scissors Kick!
(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit vs Orlando Jordan ©
Jordan won the championship from Cena, his only pay per view defence came in the form of Heidenreich so hard to rate the guy off of a match with Heidenreich. They lock-up with Benoit kneeing Jordan in the corner, clothesline by Benoit. Huge chop by Benoit, Jordan goes low to club down Benoit. Benoit chops back at Jordan, Jordan is rocked backwards. Snap suplex by Benoit, low dropkick to the mush. Two for Benoit, Jordan lures Benoit into the corner and goes after the left arm of The Rabid Wolverine. Benoit fights back, Jordan misses a big boot. Dragon screw leg whip by Benoit, Jordan powders and avoids a baseball slide, Benoit is sent neck first into the ringpost. In the ring, Jordan begins to expose a turnbuckle, Benoit pounces and German suplexes the champion.
Nothern lights suplex by Benoit for two, Jordan comes back with shots to the neck and arm. Hard Irish whip and clothesline by Jordan, single arm DDT by Jordan. Short-arm scissors by Jordan, transition into an armbar. Dropkick by Jordan, Jordan applies an armbar and tries multiple pins with Benoit continuing to kick out. Oklahoma roll by Jordan for two, Benoit trips Jordan but Jordan avoids the sharpshooter. Chops by Benoit, Jordan knocks down Benoit and goes back to the arm. Benoit uses his good arm to escape, swinging neckbreaker by Jordan for two. Elbow by Jordan for two, surfboard stretch by Jordan. Scoop slam by Jordan, Jordan climbs to the top turnbuckle.
Benoit crotches Jordan, chops by Benoit. Benoit delivers a top rope superplex, clotheslines by Benoit. Back body drop, back elbow by Benoit and another sharpshooter attempt, Jordan kicks off Benoit. Benoit goes for the German suplex, make it three. Diving Headbutt by Benoit, two for Benoit. Chops by Benoit, Jordan’s head is rammed off the turnbuckle, Jordan knocks his head back into Benoit. Jordan exposes the turnbuckle, Jordan pulls Benoit into the turnbuckle and Jordan covers for the win.
Enjoyed this match, Jordan held his own in there with Benoit. The arm work was good, Benoit was intense as always, making everything look real. Crowd was very into Benoit, I liked the way Jordan teased the turnbuckle spot earlier in the match and did not go back to it for a long time so you had to think about it, it was on the back of your mind and they had a unique way for Benoit to bash his head off the exposed turnbuckle, I liked it.
Winner: Orlando Jordan over Chris Benoit via Shenanigans!
Muhammad Hassan W/ Daivari vs The Undertaker
Yikes, this is a tough one to tackle. This would effectively be the end of Hassan’s career in WWE through no fault of his own. Hassan’s character was a little controversial but when appearing with men in balaclavas in camo pants gave off a terrorist vibe and things went from bad to worse when a series of bombings took place around the time of the pay per view. WWE were under-fire from news outlets and there would be no more Hassan after this match. Half of this match is Hassan talking, they really wanted to keep action to a minimum for it all. It is also a number one contender’s match, the winner to face the champion, that’s interesting.
Hassan dodges Taker before Taker catches Hassan and tees off on Hassan. Knees in the corner, big boot by Taker for two. Elbows by Taker and Old School, complete shot by Taker for two. Taker chokes Hassan in the corner, Taker misses a corner big boot thanks to Daivari pulling Hassan out of the way. Taker tumbles to the floor, the balaclava wearing men attack The Deadman. Taker backs Hassan into the corner, knee by Taker. Slugfest with Taker winning, Taker goes to the floor and starts attacking the men. One of the men has a cable wire and chokes The Deadman.
Hassan applies The Camel Clutch, Taker powers up and electric chair drops Hassan. Corner clotheslines by Taker, boot to one of the men. Snake Eyes and another big boot to one of the hooded men. Taker begins attacking anything that moves, Hassan runs into a Chokeslam. Taker wins like that, the hooded men swarm Taker. Taker battles back, Hassan takes a Last Ride through the stage, killing off his character.
It was very short as a match, very little to it too. Hassan never looked like they had a hope in hell and the WWE realized that they needed to get as far away as possible from The Hassan character and Arab-American gimmick. It is sad because there looked to be some big things in Hassan’s future despite the heat he had with everyone backstage, Daivari and many others have commented that Hassan had one of the worst cases if not the worst of all-time cases of nuclear heat. It seems everything he did was wrong and with the bombings, it was the end of Hassan’s character. Unfortunate but whoever said wrestling was fair?
Winner: Undertaker over Muhammad Hassan via Chokeslam!
The Mexicools vs The BWO
Perhaps out of a pity or impressed with their performances at One Night Stand, we have The Mexicools comprised of Super Crazy, The Insane Luchador of ECW Fame and Psicosis & Juventud Guerrera, two recognisable names from the heydays of WCW’s cruiserweight division. Obviously, all men were big in their native country too while we have The BWO headed by Stevie Richards, Nova who was formerly Simon Dean (Not sure why that gimmick was dropped) and Blue Meanie who was around because JBL beat the shit out of Meanie at One Night Stand.
Nova and Juvi begin, Juvi takes down Nova and mocks Nova. Boot by Juvi, Nova shakes off Juvi, Richards nails Super Crazy and Psicosis. The Mexicools are stacked in the corner, corner splash by Blue Meanie. The BWO own the ring, Super Crazy distracts Nova, Juvi nails Nova with a springboard spinning heel kick. Huge kick to the head by Juvi, armbar by Juvi. Juvi begins punching Nova, Nova hulks up before a spinning sole butt. Tag to Super Crazy, snapmare into a low dropkick for two. Tag to Juvi, abdominal stretch by Juvi.
Nova Irish whips Juvi for a big boot, Juvi tags Psicosis. Tag to Stevie, Stevie nails Super Crazy off the apron, chops to Psicosis. Back body drop by Stevie, Juvi misses a crossbody. Sidewalk slam to Psicosis, Super Crazy saves and the match breaks down. Stevie hammers Psicosis, Stevie misses a corner splash. Springboard Moonsault by Super Crazay, Leg Drop by Psicosis for the win. Crowd did not care in the slightest, DUD!
Winners: The Mexicools over The BWO via Leg Drop!
Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
The war began after Wrestlemania, Mysterio had Eddie’s number so to speak in the ring. No matter how hard Eddie tried, Mysterio would come out on top. Eddie snapped, Eddie took out Mysterio on Smackdown and got disqualified at Judgement Day. For The Great American Bash, things have gotten super personal as Eddie brought Mysterio’s son Dominic into mix. Eddie manipulated and controlled Mysterio, threatening to reveal Mysterio’s secret to the world. Eddie’s Wife got involved which made Eddie even more psychotic and crazy, Eddie will not reveal Mysterio’s secret if Mysterio can defeat Eddie.
Mysterio talks to his son Dominic before the match, Mysterio tells Dominic will all be ok. Very dramatic stuff, Eddie’s character is so uncomfortable it is something I miss about wrestling in the WWE at the moment, nobody makes you feel as uncomfortable as Eddie on this pay per view. Dominic is placed at ringside as the two shake hands, they also pose and hug, masterful prick tactics from Latino Heat. Mysterio clotheslines Eddie, back drop but Mysterio misses a springboard crossbody. Eddie stomps all over Mysterio, Mysterio flips out of a back suplex, O Connor roll for two. Backslide for two, wheelbarrow bulldog by Mysterio for two.
Mysterio elbows Eddie, right hands in the corner. Eddie counters for an inverted atomic drop, Eddie is on the top rope. Mysterio crotches Eddie, Mysterio joins Eddie and nails a top rope frankensteiner for two. Mysterio climbs high, Eddie crotches Mysterio. Eddie has Mysterio for a Splash Mountain powerbomb, Mysterio counters for a hurricanrana, 619 by Mysterio. Seated senton for two, Mysterio is almost in tears, wishing the match was over. Eddie walks over to Dominic, Eddie hugs Dominic and uses the boy as a shield. Mysterio confronts Eddie, Eddie asks Mysterio to get on his knees and leave his son alone. Eddie jumps Mysterio who wanted to save his son, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie. Backbreaker by Eddie for two, Eddie stomps Mysterio and chokes Mysterio with the bottom rope.
Eddie throws Mysterio to the floor, Eddie walks over to Dominic again. Eddie steps all over Mysterio, chop by Eddie. Wheelbarrow suplex by Eddie for two, Eddie blows a kiss to Dominic. Right hands to the back by Eddie, Mysterio counters a tilt-a-whirl for a crossbody, two for Mysterio. Eddie retakes control with a Gory Special, Mysterio counters for a sunset flip. Eddie rolls through and catapults Mysterio to the floor. Eddie stomps on Mysterio and goes back to Dominic, Mysterio explodes attacking Eddie. Low dropkick by Mysterio, stiff kick to the face. Springboard moonsault by Mysterio, its blocked by Eddie.
Mysterio counters for a swinging DDT, Mysterio drapes the arm for two. Springboard dropkick by Mysterio, Mysterio nails The 619. Mysterio misses a springboard leg drop, Eddie shakes off the cobwebs. Three Amigos by Eddie, Eddie climbs to the top turnbuckle. Mysterio rolls away, Eddie stalks Mysterio. Another series of suplexes by Latino Heat, Mysterio is limp on the canvas. Eddie looks at Dominic, brainbuster by Eddie. Frog Splash by Eddie, Eddie covers Mysterio in a cocky way but Mysterio reverses the cover and escapes with the win.
It may not be their best match in terms of in-ring action but the story-telling and emotion for this match was off the freaking charts. Nobody and I mean nobody came close to Eddie Guerrero on this night as a heel in the company at the time, Eddie was unbelievable I am completely blown away from the acting, mannerisms, facials and overall personality and character that Eddie was on this night. Eddie humiliated Mysterio and Mysterio got his revenge, it was perfect.
Winner: Rey Mysterio over Eddie Guerrero via Roll-Up!
(Bra and Panties Match) Torrie Wilson vs Melina (Candice Michelle is Special Guest Referee)
Some fun to give us a break between the big matches, Melina does not want to be stripped while it is surprising to see Torrie wearing so many clothes, that will not last too long I assure you, it usually does not stay that way for long. Lock-up by Melina, Torrie pushes down Melina. Big kick and hair-pull by Melina, headscissors by Torrie. Schoolgril, Melina kicks off Torrie. Abdominal stretch by Torrie, Torrie rips off Melina’s top. O Connor roll by Torrie, Melina is almost stripped before Melina kicks off Torrie.
Torrie is smacked off the mat, Torrie’s top is torn off by Melina. Melina pummels Torrie, Melina chokes Torrie with the bottom rope. Candice and Melina have words, Melina continues to rough up Torrie. Torre kicks Melina in the head, Melina is on the apron. Torrie nails clotheslines and a low dropkick. Suplex with a floatover by Torrie, Melina kicks off Melina. Melina hotshots Torrie and Torrie is stripped by Melina. Melina is a dick and gets stripped by Candice and Torrie. And Candice strips for good fun. Yay, women! DUD!
Winner: Melina over Torrie Wilson via Stripping!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) JBL vs Batista ©
After surviving his feud with Triple H, Batista was drafted to Smackdown. This pissed off JBL as JBL had won a six-pack challenge to determine a new champion, JBL was heartbroken to find out that Batista was the new champion and JBL was simply the new number one contender. While Triple H may be a cool heel, there is no worry about JBL being cheered over Batista. This is a great fit for Batista who can continue to be a top babyface on a new brand.
Lock-up, Batista backs JBL into the corner. Clean break from Batista, JBL takes the back with Batista elbowing off the challenger. Side headlock by JBL, shoulder block by Batista. Batista poses, lock-up and clubbing blows by JBL. Right hand by JBL, hard Irish whip but Batista explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. JBL runs away and lures Batista in, stomps by the challenger. Sidewalk slam by Batista for two, elbows in the corner by Batista. Foot choke by Batista, JBL boots Batista when whipped into the corner, shoulder block by JBL. Back body drop by Batista, clothesline to the floor by The Animal. Batista sends JBL into the barricade, JBL rolls into the ring and hotshots Batista to the floor.
JBL tries an apron double axe handle but Batista catches JBL and spinebusters JBL into the apron. JBL is begging for mercy, eye poke by the challenger and Batista meets the ringpost shoulder first. Big boot by JBL, JBL spears Batista over the announce table. JBL continues to pummel Batista, rope guillotine by JBL. Big boot and elbow drops by JBL for two, sleeper by JBL. Batista starts to fire up, elbows to escape the sleeper. Back suplex by Batista, JBL lures in Batista and throws the champion to the floor. Batista is sent into the steel steps, Batista manages to shove JBL into the ringpost and now they brawl in the crowd.
Back elbow in the ring by Batista, Batista misses a corner splash. JBL winds up for a clothesline, JBL is shoved into the referee. Orland Jordan is here, Batista knocks off Jordan before going back to JBL, Batista Bomb is stopped by a chair shot from Jordan. Big boot by JBL for two, JBL nails a Clothesline From Hell. Referee is down, JBL is pissed with his predicament. JBL calls for another clothesline, spinebuster by Batista. Jordan is back dropped to the floor, shoulder thrusts by Batista. Corner clothesline and powerslam, Jordan is pulled into the ring and Batista waffles Jordan and JBL, the match ends in DQ as the referee sees Batista use the chair.
Ok, I have no problem with a cheap finish on pay per view to prolong a feud, I understand that concept but please do not make me sit through a shitty match to get me to that point. JBL and Batista put on a match that nobody was into, it was very slow and heatless in many ways. It never really built or livened up, it was just going along.
Winner: JBL over Batista via DQ!
That was WWE’s Great American Bash of 2005, a hit and miss show which would be the norm for Smackdown. Mysterio and Eddie delivered in so many ways, Eddie played that match perfectly while the story was very intriguing which led to a tonne of interest from all the fans including me. I liked the tag match between MNM and Animal & Heidenreich, it was fun and the nostalgia pop was a lot of fun, Jordan had a good match with Benoit, I think Benoit brings something out of everyone and their match quality goes up a notch. The rest of the card was average or boring like the bra and panties or the six-man tag. Undertake vs Hassan was like an extended squash with Hassan’s character being assassinated while Batista vs JBL never came together and was hurt by a weak finish. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!