Tuesday 26 December 2017

ECW December To Dismember 2006 Review

Image result for ecw december to dismember 2006

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that blows as much as this pay per view! Fuck my luck, it’s time for ECW’s December To Dismember 2006. Where do we even begin with this? There was one ECW pay per view after the brand was revived, you are about to learn why there was only one pay per view for ECW. The main event is an extreme elimination chamber match featuring the top stars of ECW and the opening match features The Hardys vs MNM. These were the only two matches announced before the show, that’s an issue. But they will pad out the card right? Right? Oh you already know let’s get this on the road!

The Hardy Boyz vs MNM W/ Melina

MNM are back, Mercury comes back and all was forgiven apparently as they further the feud between Jeff Hardy and Johnny Nitro. The first match features zero ECW talent, that is not a good sign. It is almost like saying here are the real stars guys, do not mind the regulars.

Mercury and Matt start, lock-up with clean break. Side headlock takedown by Matt, shoulder block by Matt. Hiptoss by Matt, stand-off with everyone in the ring. Arm-wringer from Mercury, Matt reverses for a hammerlock and tag to Jeff. Knee drop on the arm by Jeff, tag to Matt. Elbow by Mercury, Nitro tags in and eats a hiptoss. Arm-wringer by Matt, tag to Jeff. Slingshot dropkick by Jeff for two, tag to Matt for a back elbow. Nice wheelbarrow slam to Mercury, Hardys rule the ring. Tag to Jeff, Nitro counters a jawbreaker with a shot low on Jeff, tag to Mercury. Back elbow for two, tag to Nitro. Neckbreaker by Nitro, Nitro misses a standing shooting star press. Tag to Matt, elbows by Matt.

Splash Mountain powerbomb by Matt with Mercury saving Nitro. Melina grabs Matt’s foot, Matt is distracted and Mercury clotheslines Matt. Double gutbuster by MNM, corner knee by Nitro. Two for Nitro, Melina chokes Matt with a headscissors. Cheap shot to Jeff, sit-out slam by MNM. Two for Mercury tag to Nitro. Matt dodges a double suplex for a double neckbreaker, Jeff is knocked off the apron. Poetry in motion by MNM, Matt avoids the extreme combination. Mercury’s head meets Nitro’s sack, tag to Jeff. Flying forearms by Jeff, inverted atomic drop and leg drop to the groin. Nitro saves Mercury, sit-out suplex by Jeff. Matt and Mercury brawl, Matt clotheslines Mercury to the floor. Plancha by Matt, Nitro suicide dives onto both with Jeff jumping on everyone with a crossbody.

Poetry In Motion, Twist of Fate but Nitro pulls out Mercury from a Swanton Bomb. Springboard dropkick by Nitro for two, double catapult by MNM. Mercury is legal, surfboard stretch from Mercury. Tag to Nitro, double sledge into the corner by MNM. Hip hop leg drop by Nitro, Jeff fights back but is thrown to the floor. Melina slaps Jeff as Mercury tags in, double leg drop by MNM for two. Backbreaker and slingshot elbow drop by MNM, Matt saves Jeff. Jeff tries a sunset flip, Mercury attacks Jeff. Reverse chinlock by Mercury, Jeff fights out pushing Mercury to the floor with an O Connor roll. Mercury attacks Matt to stop the tag, Nitro stomps Jeff behind the referee’s back.

Jeff blocks the catapult to the corner and nails a Whisper in The Wind, tag to Matt. Double clothesline, right hands all around. Clothesline and bulldog combination, Side Effect on MNM. Nitro survives, scoop slam by Matt. Middle rope leg drop for two, The Hardys setup for their turnbuckle powerbomb finish but Mercury wipes out Matt and Nitro nails a hurricanrana on Jeff for two. Double stereo superplexes by The Hardys, Melina is on the apron. Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, roll-up by Jeff for two. MNM nail Snapshot on Jeff, Matt saves Jeff. Mercury throws Matt to the floor, Jeff is placed on the top rope. Super Snapshot is denied, Matt nails a double Twist of Fate. Mercury is placed on Nitro, Swanton Bomb by Jeff and The Hardys win the match.

Twenty-two minutes of action, the match basically reset in the middle so it made for a tough watch, they were clearly trying to fill as much time as possible. Also, poor Melina almost ended up being injured taking her one bump. Action was solid, there was still so much potential to The Hardys which WWE would capitalize on in the near future. Fine night for everyone involved but far too long.

Winners: The Hardy Boyz over MNM via Swanton Bomb!

RVD Promo

Very serious promo from RVD about the seriousness of the elimination chamber match, RVD is the clear favourite for the match.

Matt Striker vs Balls Mahoney

Oh my goodness, Striker has his face on his ass. Lovely close-ups of Striker’s ass, that is what this pay per view needs. Basically, Striker wants no weapons, no foul language and no cheating, Mahoney obliges for this very friendly wrestling match. Hiptoss and cross armbreaker by Balls, Striker makes it to the ropes. Mahoney runs shoulder first into the ringpost, Striker begins working the arm. Dropping his full weight on the arm, elbows to the arm by Striker.

Roll-up by Mahoney for two, Striker nails a cutter using Mahoney’s arm to drag down Mahoney. Two for Striker, more arm work from Striker. Irish whip to the corner, boot by Mahoney. Punches by Mahoney, Fujiwara armbar from Striker. Mahoney rolls through but Striker maintains control until a sidewalk slam, Mahoney is on the top rope and Striker crotches Mahoney. Roll-through into a Fujiwara armbar, Mahoney reaches the ropes. Right hands by Mahoney, back body drop. Jabs by Mahoney, big right. Striker eats a sit-out spinebuster and this match is over.

Oh boy, it would be a match that was fine for a house show or a regular episode of ECW. It is not exactly a huge feud or something that meant anything in the grand scheme of things. It was just there, it was ok.

Winner: Balls Mahoney over Matt Striker via Spinebuster!

Sabu is Attacked!

Sabu is out of the main event as Sabu has been attacked and unresponsive backstage. Fans scream bullshit, this I not looking good.

The FBI W/ Trinity vs Elijah Burke & Sylvester Terkay

Trinity did well for herself to go from TNA to WWE, do not know how long it lasted but is flat-out a squash match. Guido and Mamaluke are lambs to the slaughter for Burke and Terkay, Guido trips Burke and paintbrushes the youngster. Tag to Mamaluke, side headlock takedown. Double hiptoss and elbow by The FBI, Mamaluke is back in from a quick tag from Guido. Knee by Burke and here comes Terkay, knees by Terkay. Terkay misses a Stinger splash, Guido tags into the match. Terkay catches Guido to stop a crossbody, Terkay dumps Guido onto Mamaluke. Tag to Burke, reverse chinlock.

Guido fights back, elbows to the ribs. Terkay headbutts Guido for two, Burke tags Terkay. Massive kick by Terkay, tag to Burke. Elijah Express, STO with Mamaluke saving the match. Reverse chinlock, tag to Mamaluke. Dropkicks by Mamaluke, flying chop. Terkay eats a double low dropkick to the knees and face, double flapjack. Burke kicks out, Terkay pulls out Guido. Terkay forearms Mamaluke, Elijah Experience and the match is over.

Mercifully, it was over I must say with the crowd being as silent as a funeral. Nobody believed FBI had a chance, when nobody cares the match dies a slow death. I would argue that this went far too long, I don’t think FBI should have had any offense on the hot new act but they needed to stretch it out somehow, it is dragging really bad by this point and I am not even near the main event.

Winners: Burke & Terkay over FBI via Elijah Experience!

Daivari W/ Great Khali vs Tommy Dreamer

The big matches just keep coming, Khali and Daivari are back I have not seen the two since Great American Bash where The Punjabi Prison match was no longer featuring Great Khali. Daivari attacks Dreamer after a distraction from Khali, hiptoss by Dreamer. Eye rake and dropkick by Daivari, baseball slide by Daivari. Dreamer whips Daivari into the barricade, suplex by Dreamer. Khali lowbridges Dreamer, the referee sends Khali out of the arena. Daivari regains his composure and applies a reverse chinlock. Dreamer is yanked to the mat by his hair, elbows by Daivari for two. Dreamer fights back before another sleeper, Dreamer shakes off Daivari by dropping his weight back crushing Daivari.

Dreamer nails right hands, back body drop by Dreamer. Scoop slam into an inverted DDT for two, Daivari rakes the eyes to avoid a dreamer driver. Dreamer meets Daivari on the middle rope, Daivari shoves off Dreamer. Dreamer ducks the crossbody, Daivari is in the tree of woe. Low dropkick from Dreamer, Daivari rolls-up Dreamer with a handful of tights for the win. Afterwards, Khali decimates Dreamer on the ramp.

Who cares I mean in all honesty who cares at this point in the night? Nobody wants to see this kind of stuff on pay per view, it is as basic as you can get. It is almost insulting that they thought they could get away with putting this kind of trash on pay per view. Kind of reminds me of classic ECW as I continue to sift through the company’s pay per views.

Winner: Daivari over Tommy Dreamer via Roll-Up!

Hardcore Holly Is In And Sabu Is Out!

Holly is in the match, Holly grins like a prick at this announcement.

Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly vs Kevin Thorn & Ariel

CM Punk dodged a huge bullet my friends! Kelly was smitten with Punk giving a shout-out and wishing Punk the best of luck in the main event. Knox being Kelly’s boyfriend is understandably pissed but they have this match against a fellow heel in Kevin Thorn. So three heels and one babyface in Kelly Kelly who should not be in the ring like anywhere near it at all. Knox and Thorn feel one another out, arm-wringer is broken by Thorn. Right hand by Thorn, Polish hammer from Thorn. Knees to the back, forearms to the face. Knox yanks Thorn down by the hair, massive motherfucking lariat from Knox. Eye poke by Thorn, short-arm clothesline.

Right hands and scoop slam by Knox for two, Thorn blocks a corner clothesline but eats a boot for two. Ariel continues to scream and be the most annoying thing on the planet, Knox has a front chancery. Ariel tags in which means Kelly must tag into the match. Ariel kicks down Kelly, choke using the ropes by Ariel. Forearms by Ariel, foot choke in the corner. Kelly dodges a corner splash but is smacked in the back, elbow drop by Ariel. Kelly wants the tag but Knox abandons Kelly who had been courting CM Punk, she had it coming to be honest with you. STO for the win.

The screaming was enough to kill this for me, nevermind all the terrible wrestling, the flat crowd and lack of skill and technical ability on display from everyone in this match. The best part is The Sandman coming in at the very end to cane the shit out of Thorn.

Winners: Thorn & Ariel over Kelly Kelly & Knox via STO!

(ECW Heavyweight Championship Extreme Elimination Chamber Match) The Big Show © vs Test vs Hardcore Holly vs Bobby Lashley vs CM Punk vs Rob Van Dam

Finally, we are at the main event with an extreme elimination chamber to decide who is the man in the land of extreme. Big Show had been dominant since the brand’s inception as RVD lost the championship to Show due to being arrested for possession of substances that RVD should not have held. So, we have six of the best on ECW, Holly and RVD start. Right hands by RVD, RVD is whipped to the floor. RVD eats a hotshot from Holly, RVD kicks Holly square in the face. RVD jumps from the turnbuckle, Holly ducks but RVD lands on the wall like Spiderman. However, RVD misses a splash and takes himself down landing on the ropes. Holly sends RVD into the wall, scoop slam on the floor. Holly is on the top turnbuckle, Holly tries a splash but RVD blocks with a boot. Rolling Thunder to the floor by RVD, Holly suplexes RVD into the ring.

Two for Holly, RVD low dropkicks Holly. Holly nails his own dropkick for two, the first pod opens and CM Punk is in the match. Chair to the head of Holly, springboard clothesline to RVD. RVD throws a chair back at Punk, RVD monkey flips Punk onto the chair. RVD eats a leg drop onto the chair from Punk, springboard dropkick by Punk to Holly. Punk wedges a chair in the corner, RVD is bleeding. Punk sends RVD into the chair, vile kick by Punk. Punk tries a hurricanrana on Holly, Holly counters sending Punk into the wall. Sidewalk slam by Holly on Punk, two for Holly. Holly wants a superplex on Punk, Holly connects.

RVD covers for two, Punk nails Holly with his high knee. RVD boots Punk in the face, Test is the second man in the match. Crowbar to the ribs of Punk, RVD’s face is raked at by Test. Punk is choked with the crowbar, Punk hotshots Test to derail his momentum. RVD clotheslines and superkicks Holly, Test is waffled with the chair. Running dropkick to Punk, Five Star Frog Splash on Punk and that’s all for Punk. Test measures RVD for a Big Boot but nails Holly, Holly is gone.

Punk/Holly Have Been Eliminated!

RVD nails Test with a diving thrust kick, RVD climbs to the pod of Big Show. Show grabs the leg of RVD, RVD is now stuck on the top of the pod. Test comes in with a chair, RVD eats a massive chair shot to the knees and back. Test yanks RVD down and lays a chair on RVD’s face. Test climbs to Show’s pod and delivers an elbow old school Test style and that’s all she wrote for RVD.

RVD Has Been Eliminated!

We wait with nothing happening as Lashley is not in the match yet from his pod, we wait for a minute and a half as nothing happens. Delightful, Heyman’s goons lock in Lashley, Lashley smashes through the top of the pod and escapes to fight Test. Diving clothesline by Lashley, Test is sent crashing into the pod. Right hands to the face of Test, eye poke by Test. Foot choke in the corner, Lashley kicks a chair back into Test’s face. Clothesline and snap suplex by Lashley, crowbar to the ribs of Test and a massive Spear.

Test Has Been Eliminated!

Down to two, Show and Lashley. Lashley pulls out a table as we wait for Show to enter the match. Still forty seconds to wait, Lashley tries breaking into the pod. Show has a barbed wire bat, Lashley uses a chair to shield himself from Show. Show gets the bat stuck in the chamber, Lashley rams Show into the wall. Show is bleeding and thrown through the pod, right hands by Lashley. Show tosses Lashley into the ring, clothesline by Show. Show calls for the end, Lashley dodges for a DDT. They slug it out, Show misses a splash. Show looks for a powerslam, Lashley wriggles free for a Spear, it is over.

Three eliminations out of four happened back to back, no time to set in, no time to allow the match to breather. But maybe that was for the better as this was not a good elimination chamber match, it could have been done a  lot better. I did not feel the struggle for Lashley to win, Lashley went in and dominated that was all there was to it. No struggle, no babyface overcoming the odds I mean he was the second last one in the ring. RVD and Punk were far more over with the audience, the best parts of the match had RVD in them while Punk did not get much of a chance to shine in the slightest. Lashley is crowned your new champion, Lashley had such a strange career trajectory. From looking like a monster to jobbing out to the likes of Finlay, Kane in the survivor series match, losing to Booker, all these losses build up and yet, the idea is that Lashley is this unstoppable beast? I find it hard to buy into that idea when young Lashley had been stopped so many times.

Winner: Bobby Lashley over Big Show via Spear!

That was ECW’s December to Dismember 2006, a terrible show in every sense of the word. The pay per view had the vibe of a UK pay per view mixed with New Year’s Resolution, what I mean by this is the matches are a poorer standard because the wrestlers do not need to work as hard at Rebellion or Insurrextion as we all know no championship changes or anything of significance will take place. The New Year’s Resolution aspect is this show was built around one match, that being the chamber and even if the rest of the card is weak, the main event, the chamber match will make up for it.

However, this does not happen here. We have house show level matches sprinkled throughout the card with people who were essentially thrown together for the sake of the pay per view. We even had a heel vs heel match in there at one point, it was terrible and the crowd reacted appropriately with silence as they knew they were watching a tonne of crap and going through the motions. This was the end of Paul Heyman in ECW, the messiah had been hindered by Vince’s direction for the brand but nobody could deny that this pay per view is one of the worst in recent memory. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

 Image result for ECW december to dismember 2006 GIF

Friday 22 December 2017

ECW Guilty As Charged 1999 Review

Image result for ecw guilty as charged 1999

Hello and welcome to another beer-smashing edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling reviews series on the internet that remembers Who! Back to ECW and The Land of Extreme, we kick off 1999 with ECW’s Guilty As Charged. Headlined by the showdown between Taz and Shane Douglas for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship (Bit fucking late to that party bitches!). We also have RVD vs Lance Storm, Justin Credible vs Tommy Dreamer again because fuck you and New Jack continues his war with The Dudleys. Overbooking all over the card? I sincerely fucking hope not so strap in this is ECW’s Guilty As Charged 1999!

The FBI vs Danny Doring & Roadkill

That was a fast turnover from heels to babyfaces for Doring and Roadkill, they face the team of Tracy Smothers and Little Guido, one-half of what I consider the only decent opening match I have seen on pay per view for this company. Doring and Guido begin, Doring has Muffin Ass written on his tights, this comes from a joke with Chris Chetti who in Doring’s own words called a “Huge Fagnet”. Lock-up, Doring pushes back Guido. Guido asks for a break, side headlock by Doring. Doring struts and we already have interference, truly magnificent as The Hardcore Chair-Swingin Freaks come to ringside. They are in the match, it is a three-way danced style elimination match.

Smothers and Mahoney are in the ring, right hands by Smothers. Clothesline by Mahoney, Rotten nails Roadkill with a chair. Smothers drills Mahoney with a leaping calf kick, Mahoney answers with a superkick. Powerbomb by Mahoney, clothesline to the floor. Mahoney dives onto The FBI, Rotten and Roadkill are in the ring. Clothesline by Rotten, Smothers attacks Rotten and goes after Roadkill. Sidewalk slam by Roadkill, elbows by Smothers. Powerslam by Roadkill, top rope splash by Roadkill. Guido saves the match, G-Spot on Guido. Bareback on Smothers, T-Bag Leg Drop by Doring. Hart Attack by Doring & Roadkill, Rich smacks Doring with the Italian Flag. Double high-end fisherman suplex by The FBI and Doring & Roadkill have been eliminated.

FBI stomp Mahoney, double chops, dropkicks and elbows for two. Mahoney escapes a reverse chinlock for a back suplex, tag to Rotten. Clotheslines and jabs from Rotten, bionic elbow. Smothers and Guido bang heads, Nutcracker suite and Head Trauma from Rotten as The Hardcore Chair-Swingin Freaks win the match. Big Sal and Big Guido eat chair shots, down they go.

Fun stuff, I cannot really complain when the action was fast and tight, a lot of nice moves on display from every team. Right team won when you think of who could challenge for the tag team titles as Doring and Roadkill are so new and The FBI were simply opening match comedy wrestlers.

Winners: Balls Mahoney & Axl Rotten over Everyone Else via Nutcracker Suite!

Terry Funk Promo

Terry Funk being Terry Funk is awesome, Funk speaks about Dreamer’s betrayal and about how Funk will want Dreamer to suffer every day for the rest of your life.

Super Crazy vs Yoshiro Tajiri

The first pay per view meeting between Tajiri and Super Crazy, two wrestlers who would bring some beautiful wrestling back to ECW. Lock-up and clean break from Crazy, hammerlock and wristlock into an armdrag by Tajiri into a cover for two. Snapmare by Crazy into a La Magistral for two, lock-up and side headlock by Crazy. Jumping DDT from Crazy, leg kicks from Tajiri. Low dropkick, Crazy needs a breather. Chest chops from both, low dropkick by Tajiri. Make it two, rolling kneebar from Tajiri. Handspring back elbow by Tajiri, baseball slide and an Asai Moonsault. Tarantula by Tajiri, springboard dropkick by Super Crazy.

Hilo over the top rope, moonsault off the guard rail to Tajiri. Romero Special from Crazy, transition to a dragon sleeper. Stomp by Crazy, tilt-a-whirl is countered for an armdrag, Crazy rolls to the floor. Crossbody by Tajiri to the floor, spinning heel kick by Tajiri for two. Crazy blocks a German, drop toehold into a La Magistral for two. Drop toehold but Tajiri counters for his own La Magistral for two. Chops by Crazy, Tajiri flips out of a German. Crazy kicks Tajiri and nails a moonsault off the top rope for two, slingshot tornillo from Crazy to the floor. Missile dropkick by Crazy, tornado DDT by Crazy. Lariat to the back of the head, inverted DDT from the middle rope. Tajiri counters a powerbomb for a DDT, Crazy misses a corkscrew splash.

Tajiri nails Crazy with a sunset flip powerbomb for two, Tajiri drags Crazy to the corner. Crazy is placed on the top rope. Top rope hurricanrana by Tajiri, Crazy rolls through for a cover. Two for Crazy, powerbomb by Crazy for two. Tajiri nails a sit-out powerbomb complete with rolling cradle for two, kicks by Tajiri. Dragon Suplex by Tajiri out of nowhere and Tajiri wins the match!

Good stuff, so different from everything else on the card. It has been a long time since the days of Benoit, Malenko and Mysterio in ECW. If you were looking for technical wrestling in the company after they left, you did not have any real choice. However, with these two coming in and their matches with Little Guido to come, it should be fun to call at the least. You could not deny their chemistry, there was just something special when Tajiri and Crazy would be rocking around that ring.

Winner: Tajiri over Super Crazy via Dragon Suplex!

John Kronus vs Mystery Opponent

Judge Jeff Jones has transformed from crooked referee to judge, beats me but let’s roll with it. Kronus is in the ring, we have no idea who Kronus will be facing. Sid comes down, Chokeslam for Kronus through a table at ringside. Chair shots to the head of Kronus, Powerbomb by Sid and this match is over.

The Dudley Boyz vs Spike Dudley & New Jack

Oh my favourite, here comes the part of the show with no wrestling. Spike and New Jack hammer The Dudleys with weapons, hurricanrana by Spike in the corner. Bubba is choked with the middle rope, Spike continues using weapons and forearms on Bubba before Bubba waffles Spike with a metal tray. D-Von and New Jack brawl on the floor, D-Von is in control with right hands. Big Dick helps D-Von attack New Jack, military press slam by Bubba on Spike with Spike being launched into the crowd. Insane that they could get away with that, imagine if the fans sued or were injured.

Spike is tossed into the crowd for a second time, Bubba scares off the camera man. D-Von and New Jack brawl on the floor, New Jack sends D-Von into the guard rail. Spike hammers Bubba with a tray, Spike pummels Bubba. New Jack chokes D-Von with a camera cable, Spike and New Jack control the ring. Dudleys have chairs, New Jack and Spike have guitars. Big Dick eats two guitars to the head, The Dudleys attack New Jack & Spike from behind. Middle rope Bubba Bomb. New Jack fights D-Von and Bubba on the ramp before succumbing to a 3D. Acid Drop on Big Dick, Acid Drop on D-Von. Bubba splashes D-Von by mistake, Acid Drop on Bubba. Big Dick blocks a second acid drop, 3D with The Dudleys winning the match.

What a garbage match that was, showing us a squash and following it up with this pathetic nonsense. I am sorry but this gets harder to watch every single time, New Jack was an incredible wrestling personality no question of that. But the man had no business doing this sort of trash on pay per view, anybody who could sit through this is a God damn saint because I am almost at he end of my rope watching this so-called “wrestling”.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz over Spike & New Jack via 3D!

(ECW Television Championship Match) Rob Van Dam © W/ Bill Alfonso vs Lance Storm W/ Tammy Lynn Bytch

Storm was originally supposed to face Jerry Lynn and Spike Dudley in a three-way dance but Lynn was injured and Spike was moved into the tag match snoozefest which I just had to witness, RVD was meant to face Masato Tanaka but that did not come true as Tanaka was unable to make it to the pay per view. RVD and Storm lock-up, nice wrestling with both men taking control until a stand-off. Eye poke and right hands by Storm, dropkick by RVD for two. Snapmare by RVD for two, Storm rolls through for a single leg Boston crab off an Irish whip. Alfonso attacks Bytch, Storm intervenes but eats a slingshot leg drop from RVD. Corkscrew leg drop from RVD as Storm hangs off the guard rail, posing from RVD.

Storm meets the ringpost, double underhook front slam by RVD for two. Forearm by RVD, Storm ducks a clothesline for a huge superkick. Two for Storm, jawbreaker by Storm. Corner elbow and dropkick by Storm, Irish whip reversed by RVD. Springboard attempt by RVD goes awry as Storm dropkicks RVD to the floor, baseball slide by Storm. RVD sentons onto Storm from the guard rail as they do battle in the crowd. RVD tries a scoop slam but Storm counters for a reverse DDT, Storm dropkicks RVD who is stuck in the crowd. Springboard crossbody by Storm, RVD attempts another springboard and Storm has the counter ready. RVD is crotched on the top rope, RVD counters a super back suplex for a crossbody. Drop toehold by RVD, RVD applies a Romero Special.

Rolling Thunder by RVD, two for the champion. Irish whip to the corner, Storm leaps to the top rope and drills RVD with an elbow to the face. Right hand by Storm, RVD is whipped to the corner. Handspring clothesline by Storm, RVD blocks the northern lights suplex. RVD is thrown a chair from Alfonso, Van Damnator. Storm is thrown back into the ring by RVD, Bytch is on the apron. Small package with Storm getting two, spinning heel kick by RVD. RVD Van Damnators the referee, Storm hits his own Van Damnator but there is no referee. Storm has RVD on the top rope, Storm takes a chair from Alfonso but RVD kicks the chair into Storm’s face. Two for RVD, clotheslines by RVD. Storm dodges the frog splash, powerbomb is countered by RVD. The two trade counters before a bridging German suplex by RVD for the win.

That was an unexpected finish to the match from RVD, came out of nowhere. Anyways, it seems that RVD is growing leaps and bounds before our eyes, the matches are not great just yet. I felt there was way too much pandering between moves which really killed the flow of the match for me. Also, we have interference and a referee bump for the first time of the night, I hope it is the only time I will see that tonight. Storm along with Lynn can always be relied on for a solid match, I would not mind a rematch between these two.

Winner: Rob Van Dam over Lance Storm via German Suplex!

(Stairway to Heaven Match) Justin Credible vs Tommy Dreamer

Speaking of feuds that need to die as soon as possible, Justin Credible continues to haunt Tommy Dreamer. ECW were doing everything to make Justin Credible interesting (They were failing, boy was vanilla as they come), they had Credible injure Mikey Whipwreck, injure Great Sasuke and run off The Sandman who had left for WCW in reality. The feud has a new spin with Funk aligning himself with Credible, endorsing the former Aldo Montoya.

Lock-up, Credible knees Dreamer in the corner. Chops by Dreamer, low blow by Dreamer. Spinebuster by Dreamer and a Cactus Jack clothesline, Credible sends Dreamer into the guard rail. Credible roughs up Dreamer in the ring using the chair before tossing Dreamer to the ramp. Drop toehold onto the chair, Credible stomps away on Dreamer with Nicole Bass taking a cheap shot. Dreamer scores with a Russian legsweep in the ring, Credible is bounced off a chair. Dreamer Driver/Emerald Flowsion, Dreamer picks up a ladder. Jason and Credible try a baseball slide, Dreamer dodges and wallops the two with the ladder. Credible is in the crowd, Dreamer bridges the ladder between the guard rail and ring apron.

Dreamer electric chair drops Credible onto the ladder, Dreamer places a ladder in the corner and slingshots Credible into the ladder. Falling slam onto the ladder, Dreamer is on the middle rope but misses an elbow as Credible moves out of the way. Credible has a chair, Dreamer’s arm is placed in the ladder as Credible zeroes in on Dreamer’s arm. Dreamer reverses an Irish whip and Credible smacks off the ladder, Dreamer is on the apron. Credible nails Dreamer with a fisherman buster to the floor, Dreamer is on the top rope. Bass distracts the referee, Jazz low blows and suplexes Dreamer. Jason clotheslines Dreamer for good measure.

Ladder is leaned against the ropes, Credible stomps Dreamer. Credible misses a low dropkick and hits groin first off the ringpost. Spiccoli Driver, Dreamer see-saws the ladder into Credible’s face. Dreamer climbs towards the Singapore cane, Credible yanks Dreamer off the ladder. Dreamer is placed on the ladder and Credible tips the ladder with Dreamer on it and through a table, creative spot there. Credible nails his swinging DDT on Dreamer, Credible places the ladder on Dreamer’s neck and Credible rams Dreamer into the turnbuckle.

Credible has another ladder, Dreamer is on the floor ringside. The two set up ladders with Dreamer dropping Credible with a cutter off the ladder. Dreamer brings down the cane, leaping DDT from Dreamer. Credible is left against the ropes, Dreamer wants payback. Funk is here, trash can to the head. Singapore cane to the head by Credible and a That’s Incredible on the ladder for the win.

That was not a bad match by ECW standards, there were some nice and well-executed spots throughout this match. I thought they were going to tell a story with the arm of Dreamer but that was abandoned after a minute or two whivh was a shame but this was good stuff for the most part.

Winner: Justin Credible over Tommy Dreamer via That’s Incredible!

(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Taz vs Shane Douglas © W/ Francine

It’s been a year in the making and would you look at that, Douglas has his wrist taped up again. Douglas was the ECW champion, Douglas was The Franchise. The man’s intensity in his promos and hatred were legendary and they made Douglas the man in ECW. The wrestling had been a let down since the beginning of these reviews, it is hard to write that but Douglas was not putting on the classics that were expected of the man who was meant to be the future of the business. However, nobody could touch Douglas in terms of character work in the company, nobody deserved the championship more than Douglas but it comes down to this, could Douglas make Taz look like the star that they needed Taz to be?

The match that should have been at November to Remember happens now, lock-up and side headlock takedown by Taz. Douglas grabs a side headlock, Taz counters the same way Douglas did with a headscissors. More mat wrestling by the two, Taz takes the waist. Drop toehold by Douglas, Taz escapes a headlock for a hammerlock. Stare-down, right hands and kicks by Douglas. Taz nails a head and arm Tazplex, Douglas rolls to the floor. Lock-up, Douglas chokes and stomps Taz. Cast to the head, Alabama slam by Taz. Clothesline with Douglas rolling to the floor, Taz is in pursuit. Right hands by Taz, Douglas sends Taz into the crowd. Crowd brawling from the two, this brawling goes on and on and on and on….

Finally, they are back in the ring. Taz has a table in the corner as Douglas peppers the challenger with rights, Taz fires up with kicks in the corner. Taz is Irish whipped through the table, Douglas has another table. Head and arm Tazplex through the table, the lights go out and it looks like Sabu is here. Springboard clothesline, what the fuck is this? Sabu cracks Taz with a chair, both men are hurled to the floor. Moonsault onto Taz and Douglas, Douglas is put through a table with a leg drop. Taz is put through a table with a twisting splash, Douglas covers Taz for two. Douglas holds up the three fingers, Candido is here as the two girls catfight. Candido clobbers Douglas? Tazplex by Taz, Tazmission with Douglas trying everything to escape but Taz is tenacious. Taz chokes out Douglas and we have a new champion.

Another moment that should have been something truly special spoiled by overbooking and nonsense. Where do we begin? Liked the two wrestling in the beginning, they had the makings of a decent story with Taz proving that he was the better man and then, we had at least 6 minutes of brawling in the crowd. Why? Why did I need six minutes of the two stumbling around and punching one another? There is no faster way to take me out of a match than lazily stumble around and kill time in the crowd, it’s a joke. Next we have Sabu interrupt what is Taz’s shining moment laying out both champion and challenger. Unnecessary when you are trying to make Taz your new top star, you don’t need to put the focus on someone else. Sabu was supposed to be in the match, Sabu got injured so Sabu can return and have his match that story writes itself!

But no, you had Sabu lay out Taz and Douglas, way to make Taz look tough there ECW. Next, Douglas calls out Candido who turns on Douglas, do we really need to see that? The Triple Threat were done with Bigelow in WCW by this point, we did not need to see Candido in there with Douglas as Taz should have been the focal point of the match. For the reasons I have argued above, I was not happy with this. We waited a year to see Taz take that championship from Douglas, Taz should have outclassed Douglas with Douglas and all his arrogance coming crashing down as he knew there was no surviving Taz. Instead, we got the same old shit from ECW where they just could not let a good match be a good match.

Winner: Taz over Shane Douglas via Tazmission!

That was ECW’s Guilty as Charged 1999, a better than most pay per view from ECW. This felt like something different at times, there was not as much overbooking on this card like most of the others. There was some good wrestling in terms of Tajiri and Crazy and RVD vs Lance Storm. The New Jack match was just awful, no time for that kind of trash while the main event was  a big let down. You built and built but when you have that much crowd brawling and interference taking place in the match, you are not solidifying Taz at the man, you are not have Douglas pass the torch. You are simply dicking around at the worst possible time like ECW seemed to do at every pay per view hat I have covered. So, better than anything I have seen so far in terms of match quality thanks to RVD shining with Storm and Tajiri vs Crazy brining fun to the ring but a lot of this was garbage as was the stereotype for ECW. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

Related image

WWE Survivor Series 2006 Review

Image result for WWE Survivor Series 2006

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series that fails on a weekly basis to draw a crowd on par with Impact Wrestling! It is 2006’s last big four pay per view, WWE’s Survivor Series 2006. Batista vs King Booker as Batista’s pursuit of the world heavyweight championship comes to a close. We also have the traditional Survivor Series matches which include Team DX vs Team Rated RKO. Surprisingly, we have Team Cena vs Team Show, this is most interesting to me as I thought it was bizarre for John Cena not have a title program going into Survivor Series. Anyways, elimination matches are usually fun and King Booker as champion has been fun, let’s see what they can tonight!

Opening Promo

Highlight package hyping up Batista vs King Booker and all the various elimination matches that we will have tonight, good stuff really with no complaints from me.

(Elimination Survivor Series Style Match) Ric Flair/Dusty Rhodes/Sgt. Slaughter/Ron Simmons/Arn Anderson vs The Spirit Squad

Oh my God, they are still around? How could this stretch this group out any longer? Why must this feud continue? Mikey and Simmons start, shoulder block by Simmons. Side headlock by Mikey, back suplex by Simmons. Eye poke by Mikey, powerslam by Simmons. Clotheslines for everyone else, Mitch trips Simmons. Simmons chases Mitch. Anderson takes out Mitch. Simmons was counted out in the meantime and it looks like Mitch is taken out too? Was he ever legal? Spinebuster for Mitch, that was bizarre.

Ron Simmons Has Been Eliminated!

Anderson is taken out of here too, Slaughter and Nicky start. Scoop slam by Slaughter, make it three. Arm-wringer and tag to Dusty, Bionic Elbow to Nicky. Arm-wringer, tag to Flair. Chops, tag to Slaughter. Short-arm clothesline, Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Kenny and Dusty brawl but Johnny nails Slaughter withba kick to the head for the elimination.

Sgt. Slaughter Has Been Eliminated!

Nicky Has Been Eliminated!

Dusty comes in and eliminates Nicky with a Bionic Elbow, that was a meaningful contribution. Dusty is beaten in the corner of The Spirit Squad, Dusty comes back with elbows on Kenny. Dusty misses an elbow and is rolled-up by Kenny.

Dusty Rhodes Has Been Eliminated!

Flair is all alone, Mikey pummels Flair. Inverted atomic drop by Flair on Mikey, Flair rolls-up Mikey using the ropes for leverage. Kenny jumps Flair immediately, Flair inside cradles Kenny. Finally, we have Johnny vs Flair, Flair chops Johnny. Shin breaker, chop block and a Figure Four raps up this match.

Not a fan of this match at all, Flair might have as well ran the gauntlet with the way this match played out, legends looked their age and had no business inside of that ring. Flair came in and the match ended within seconds, Spirit Squad should not be inside of that ring, their spotlight moment ended months ago when they were brushed aside like children by DX. Please God let it end!

Winners: Team Flair over Spirit Squad via Figure Four!

(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs Chavo Guerrero W/ Vickie Guerrero

Wow, WWE using logic when it comes to booking an angle? Yes, I cannot believe it either. Chavo ended his feud with Mysterio in great fashion by beating Mysterio in an I Quit match by injuring Mysterio with chair shots to his knee. Benoit returned to the WWE, won the united states championship and questioned Chavo over his change of heart. Benoit comes in full speed, scoop slam, elbow drop and shoulderbreaker by Benoit. Chops, knees in the corner. Snap suplex for two, scoop slam for two. Chavo eye pokes Benoit and lays in uppercuts, headbutt by Benoit. Clothesline by Benoit for two, knees and chops to the chest of Chavo.

Chavo turns the tide and beats down Benoit, Benoit attempts a crossface. Vickie grabs Chavo’s leg and saves her man, back suplex by Benoit. Chavo sends Benoit shoulder first into the ringpost, foot choke from Chavo. Reverse chinlock from Chavo, Benoit escapes using a Samoan drop. Benoit runs into a dropkick, two for Chavo. Uppercut and trash-talk from Chavo, Chavo misses a right hand. German suplexes by Benoit, Vickie grabs the foot of Benoit distracting the champion. Chavo dodges, clubbing blows to the neck of Benoit. Suplex by Chavo, Frog Splash for two. Benoit attempts a sharpshooter, Chavo shoves Benoit into Vickie. Roll-up by Chavo for two but Benoit counters for a Crippler Crossface. Benoit wins the match and retains the championship.

Solid but nothing memorable from this match. Again, I feel Chavo had a meaty feud that he could sink his teeth into but the match did not live up to what it could be at the end of the day. On top of that, if they wished to do anything with Chavo, they should have allowed Chavo to get some wins in these big matches. However, if you want something solid in that ring, Benoit is your man. So, it was fine.

Winner: Chris Benoit over Chavo Guerrero via Crippler Crossface!

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Lita © vs Mickie James

Question: How do you cripple a division? Answer: Lose your two biggest stars in the division without finding their replacements, Lita and Trish were gone in a matter of months in the WWE. Melina was not the finished product inside of the ring, Mickie was not the most over babyface on the roster. You had girls like Ashley, Maria Torrie and Candice who were more bikini girls than wrestlers, it was an all-around bad time for women in WWE. Murky waters could be ahead, this is billed as Lita’s retirement match.

Mickie takes it to Lita, kicks and punches, Lita sends Mickie into the corner. Monkey flip into mounted punches, axe handle to the back. Mickie fights out of the corner but Lita tosses her across the ring. Clothesline by Mickie, forearm to the face. Lita slams Mickie to the mat when a headscissors is blocked, Mickie is bounced off the mat. Knee to the face by Lita, middle rope choke by Lita. Knee to the ribs by Lita, side Russian legsweep for two. Headbutt to the groin by Lita for two, Mickie fights back from her knees.

Snap suplex by Lita for two, Lita taunts Mickie. Sleeper by Lita, Mickie reaches the ropes. Lita climbs to the top rope, Lita misses a crossbody. Mickie climbs to the top but Lita back suplexes Mickie, they slug it out though. Mickie nails a clothesline and a back elbow, two for Mickie. Kicks by Mickie for two, fisherman suplex for two. Lita blocks the Mickie DDT, Lita smashes Mickie face first into the mat. Moonsault by Lita for two, Mickie blocks a DDT as Lita whiplashes off the mat. Inside cradle by Lita for two, Mickie O Connor rolls Lita for two. Reversal by Lita for two, Mickie nails her DDT for the win. Afterwards, Cryme Tyme make fun of Lita by showing all her clothes off to the fans including personal items, I will leave that to you.

Yeah, it was not magic like the Unforgiven match with Trish, they gave Lita all sorts of disrespectful chants throughout the match. I cannot blame the crowd too much to be honest, Mickie was not lighting the world on fire in that ring.  Also, when you have sex with another co-worker when you are already dating a co-worker, it looks bad when you are caught cheating especially when nobody will ever let you forget what you done. What’s done is done though, it was all in the past but this match was not something to hang your hat on for poor Lita.

Winner: Mickie James over Lita via MickieDT!

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match) Triple H/Shawn Michaels/CM Punk/Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy vs Edge/Randy Orton/Jonny Nitro/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox

The feud of DX vs Rated RKO continues, Michaels nails Knox with Sweet Chin Music as Triple H hit on Kelly Kelly. Goodbye Mr. Knox? Yep, that’s it!

Mike Knox Has Been Eliminated!

Michaels and Nitro, Michaels slides out and poses with Melina. Two comedy spots seconds into the match, tag to Jeff Hardy. Jeff nails Nitro with a neckbreaker, tag to Matt. Omega combination from The Hardys, Matt is dragged into the corner. Helms tags in, right hands to Matt. Matt is yanked off the middle rope by Helms, tag to Edge. Edge stomps on Matt, tag to Helms. Suplex by Helms, tag to Orton. A few stomps before a tag to Nitro, mounted punches from Nitro. Foot to the face, Matt begins to fight back and nails a Side Effect.

CM Punk in, kicks to Nitro. Clothesline and forearms, knees by Punk. High knee and bulldog, Nitro avoids the anaconda vice. Hotshot by Jeff, Punk applies the anaconda vice and Nitro has been eliminated from the match.

Nitro has been eliminated!

Orton hotshots Punk to allow Edge to take control, tag to Orton. Dropkick for two, Helms is in the match. Gator roll from Helms, knees to the head of Punk. Knees to the face by Helms, tag to Orton. Right hands by Punk, RKO from Orton. Orton covers and Michaels saves Punk, Edge tags into the match. Edge wants a spear, Punk dodges and Edge bounces his own head off the turnbuckle. Triple H is in, right hands to Helms. High knee, high knee to Orton too. Knee facebuster to Helms, Edge attacks Triple H with an Edge O Matic. Jeff and HBK plancha onto Rated RKO. Spinebuster on Helms, tag to Matt. Twist of Fate, Swanton Bomb and Helms is gone.

Gregory Helms has been eliminated!

Orton and Edge try running away, The Hardys have none of that. DX bounce around Rated RKO, Poetry in Motion on Edge. Sweet Chin Music on Edge and Edge has been eliminated with only Orton remaining. Orton realizes that he is screwed, Orton runs into the crowd but Punk and The Hardys stop Orton. Sweet Chin Music into a Pedigree and it’s over.

So much for Rated RKO looking like a threat, it is always the problem with me when it comes to DX, it is comedy so much of the time when it should be serious. Nice reaction for Punk back in ROH territory but you could have left this match off the pay per view, a Hardys’ reunion could have been a big deal as could have Punk in Philly. However, a shut-out helps nobody really and I thought Cyber Sunday was going to be the joke match of the feud.

Winners: Team DX over Team Rated RKO via Pedigree!

(First Blood Match) The Undertaker vs Mr. Kennedy

As I stated before, I thought this feud got off on the wrong feud as Undertaker got disqualified in their first encounter, using a weapon for no real reason apart from him being pissed off with Kennedy which would be out of character for Taker. Anyways, we have this rematch because Kennedy achieved what he wanted, beating everyone on the roster but because of stupid booking we have to have Undertaker get revenge even though he cost himself the first match.

Kennedy jumps Taker, right hands have no effect. Right hands by Taker, Kennedy is sent to the floor. Kennedy is smacked off the announce table, Kennedy is smashed off the steel steps. More big rights from Taker, Kennedy is knocked into the crowd. Headbutt by Taker, Kennedy sends Taker into the steel steps. More work by the announce table, kicks and punches. Kennedy dives into Taker’s arms, Kennedy is sent into the ringpost. Rib punches by Taker, superplex by Taker. Low blow by Kennedy, right hands by Kennedy. Taker nails more ribs shots, Kennedy is bleeding internally. Kennedy bleeds from the mouth, MVP comes out and wipes up the blood.

MVP throws Kennedy back into the ring, Kennedy is bounced off an exposed turnbuckle. More rib shots, ten punches by Taker. Kennedy stunguns Taker into the exposed turnbuckle, right hands by Kennedy. MVP is not happy with Kennedy’s progress, MVP smacks Taker with the chair by mistake. Kennedy gets the win as Taker waffles Kennedy with a chair and lays him out with a tombstone.

So, Taker worked the ribs because Taker wants to be a fancy prick who wants to win by Kennedy coughing up blood over just nailing him in the head? Sounds stupid doesn’t it? But Cole sells it as Taker should have won the match, MVP made Taker bleed by accident? You could not give our rising star on Smackdown the win? Wouldn’t it help Kennedy to have a mean streak to his character by busting open The Deadman by himself? MVP really?

Winner: Mr. Kennedy over The Undertaker via First Blood!

(Traditional Survivor Series Match) Big Show/Umaga/Test/Finlay/MVP vs John Cena/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Bobby Lashley/Kane

Continuation of Cena and Show’s feud from Cyber Sunday, Umaga and Cena begin the match. Cena clotheslines Umaga to the floor, Finlay is dragged into the ring by Cena. Tag to RVD, scoop slam and corkscrew leg drop. Umaga grabs a TV monitor and lays out RVD, Sabu and John Cena. Umaga is out of here, can’t say we did not see that coming.

Umaga has been eliminated!

Finlay rams RVD into the ring apron, senton by Finlay. Tag to Test, elbows by Test. RVD springboards into a backbreaker, tag to Finlay. Finlay stomps all over RVD, headbutt from Finlay. Tag to MVP, roll-up by RVD for two. Spinning heel kick by RVD, enzuigiri by RVD. Superkick to an oncoming Test, step-through spinning heel kick on Finlay. Show is dropkicked off the apron, kick to the head of MVP. Test trips RVD, RVD is out on the floor. Kane enters the ring illegally and Chokeslams MVP, RVD nails his Five Star Frog Splash. RVD stands up and eats a Big Boot from Test.

MVP has been eliminated!

RVD has been eliminated!

Test eats a Spear on the floor from Bobby Lashley, Sabu nails a slingshot leg drop on Test before a nice springboard tornado DDT from Test for the elimination. Sabu runs into Show who nails a massive Chokeslam for the elimination. Big Show and Kane face off before Finlay nails Kane with a shillelagh, Chokeslam and Kane is gone.

Test/Kane/Sabu have been eliminated!

Powerslam by Show on Cena, in comes Finlay. Finlay roughs up Cena before Show tags in, headbutt by Show. Tag to Finlay, corner spear by Finlay. Finlay tries a splash, Cena blocks and tags Lashley. Back elbow to Finlay, discuss right hand. Finlay escapes a powerslam but eats the exploder suplex, Show saves Finlay. Cena and Lashley batter Show, Show nails a double clothesline. Hornswoggle is tossed at Cena, Lashley Spears Finlay for the elimination.

Finlay has been eliminated!

Double shoulder block to Show, Show kicks out at two. Show munches on a drop toehold into the turnbuckle, tag to Cena. Double DDT on Show for two, double suplex on Show. Five Knuckle Shuffle, Show is up but Lashley Spears Show and Cena delivers an FU for the win.

Enjoyable but far too short with the amount of eliminations going on one after the other, nobody came off looking amazing at the end of this one. Although, they do their best with Lashley who has had such an awkward push in the WWE, I swear some days it is like we want Lashley to be a big deal and then he will get pinned by some scrub on Smackdown. Anyways, enjoyable like the DX match but more of the same in terms of no real story-telling.

Winners: Team Cena over Team Show via FU!

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Batista vs King Booker © W/ Queen Sharmell

Almost a full year since Batista relinquished his championship which led to Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio and now King Booker holding that very championship. It has been a long road to redemption, Batista had Booker beat at Summerslam but Sharmell saved her man, it was more of the same at No Mercy where Batista had victory assured but Lashley would get in Batista’s way which would lead to King Booker sneaking in for the win. This is Batista’s last shot, King Booker’s back is against the wall. Batista starts the match on the ramp, Booker is pummelled by the irate challenger. Booker chops Batista in the corner, Batista battles back with right hands.

Suplex by Batista, Booker rolls to the floor. Batista hotshots Booker on the apron, backbreaker for two. Clotheslines by Batista for two, Batista argues with the referee before eating a stungun. Booker stomps Batista, catapult by Booker. Right hands and chops by Booker, Batista begins battling back but Booker eye pokes the challenger. Irish whip by Batista to the corner, sidewalk slam for two. Jackhammer by Batista for two, spinning sidewalk slam for two. Batista ends up on the apron, Sharmell grabs Batista’s foot and Booker takes control with a superkick to the face. Clubbing blows by Booker, Batista battles back to a vertical base. Harlem Sidekick by Booker for two, seated cobra clutch from Booker.

Batista breaks free, right hands and kicks. Whip to the corner, elbow by Booker. Belly to belly suplex by Batista, right hands and clothesline by Batista. Corner clothesline and boot, Booker falls to the ringside area. Booker meets the steel steps, diving shoulder attack by Batista for two. Spinebuster by Batista for two, Book-End by Booker for two. Batista Bomb as Booker gets caught, Booker grabs onto the ropes at the last second. Sharmell slides Booker the championship, Sharmell distracts the referee. Batista wants to powerbomb Sharmell, Booker misses the belt shot. Batista uses the championship and beats Booker.

Batista uses the championship to defeat Booker? The babyface used the weapon and cheated to win? Why? It does not matter this might have been one of the worst encounters that I saw as a main event. Absolutely no flow, no real direction. Just two guys going through their spots until we have a finish that makes Batista look like a great warrior right? Nonsense!

Winner: Batista over Booker via Belt to The Face!

That was WWE’s Survivor Series 2006, a less than memorable pay per view. Thank God the WWE cannot count as this would have been the 19th anniversary of Survivor Series not 20th as they labelled it. I would be very disappointed if this was the 20th anniversary. There were enjoyable matches like the elimination matches and Benoit vs Chavo but there were wastes of times and dead matches like the women’s championship match, Flair’s match and the main event. The god does not outweigh the bad on this pay per view for me so I would say avoid it and definitely avoid what comes next as I look at ECW’s December to Dismember! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

 Image result for WWE Survivor Series 2006 GIF

Wednesday 20 December 2017

ECW November To Remember 1998 Review

Image result for ecw november to remember 1998

Hello and welcome to another eyebrow-raising edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that eagerly awaits the next chapter of the Mojo Rawley vs Zack Ryder feud! ECW’s Wrestlemania, it is ECW’s November to Remember 1998. Masato Tanaka and Balls Mahoney are challenging for the ECW tag team championships against The Dudley Boyz, Jerry Lynn battles Lance Storm and a main event that is a six-man tag? Wait, what? Your Wrestlemania is a six-man tag? I don’t understand this at all, why can’t they take the belt of Douglas? The six-man has to be because his elbow is still fucked right? Well, look at that I am already angry before the show has even begun, this is not a good sign.

Opening Segment

New Jack jumps Jack Victory in the parking lot, a call-back to their previous encounter where Jack Victory and The Dudleys jumped New Jack. Thanks? I needed to see that? Styles does his usual shtick before Terry Funk interrupts, proclaiming that he was not invited to the show and not Dreamer’s mystery partner. Dreamer tries to talk sense into Funk but Funk walks out on Dreamer, Funk was super convincing in his role as a mad man, there would be few better at being a psycho. Enjoyable but the constant swearing made things a little ridiculous.

BWO vs Danny Doring & Roadkill

From one of the hottest acts in the company to not appearing on pay per view until nearly 1999. And if I am not wrong, Blue Meanie would soon be in the WWF as a lackey for Goldust. Pay per view debut for Doring and Roadkill, Doring and Nova begin the match. Slap by Doring, side headlock by Doring. Nova is pulled by the hair down to the mat, lock-up. Side headlock by Doring, Funk is out on the ramp. Nova and Doring trade control before a facebuster by Nova. Tag to Blue Meanie, double snapmare and something in the ring. Funk is on our screens, I cannot see anything in the ring. Funk is guest timekeeper, Meanie and Roadkill are in the ring. Neckbreaker by Meanie, tag to Nova. Scoop slam, leapfrog leg drop with Doring elbowing Roadkill by mistake.

Double powerbomb by Nova & Meanie, Roadkill splashes Doring by mistake. The two shove one another, Doring is dropkicked into Roadkill. Scoop slam and leg drop by Meanie, Funk is on the apron. Meanie decks Funk after Funk slaps Meanie, Doring and Roadkill jump The BWO. Funk puts himself through a table, Bareback and neckbreaker by Doring & Roadkill. Funk is on the screen, Nova drop toeholds Roadkill. Roadkill nails a clothesline, running powerslam on Nova. Roadkill is on the top rope, top rope splash. Roadkill misses an elbow drop, Doring stops Nova with a G-Spot. Mounted punches by Doring, Leg Drop from the top rope for two.

Clubbing blows by Doring, Nova wants more from Doring. Nova battles back with a sledge o matic, Roadkill tags in with Meanie tagging in too. Suplex on Doring, Roadkill is stacked into Doring. Splash by Meanie, scoop slam and Meanie delivers his Meaniesault after a frog splash from Nova. Roadkill saves Doring, Roadkill misses a splash. Tornado DDT by Nova, Blue Light Special by The BWO for the win.

Was not digging the Funk interference, it took away from a lot of the action and Funk comes back at the end anyways to cause chaos. They could have done that to accomplish the same goal, we did not need constant camera cuts where I could not see much of the early portion of the match. When they were working, it was fine. Doring and Roadkill had some nice chemistry in there while Nova was going to very soon show that he could be an entertaining wrestler inside of that ring.

Winners: BWO over Doring & Roadkill via Blue Light Special!

Tracy Smothers W/ Tommy Rich/Little Guido/Ulf Herman vs Tommy Rogers

When I think of wrestlers and matches that will not work in front of an ECW audience, these are two near the top of that list. Rogers was a very good worker but in ECW, his style was not going to go over with these fans. It was proved when Candido and Rogers may have had one of the most boring matches I had ever seen inside that ring. Smothers was a good worker who had his best run in SMW, I cannot see Smothers pulling a match out of Tommy Rogers. This just seems like an awful idea, this is your Wrestlemania card?

Rogers’ promo before the match begins is even awkward, had me scratching my head as Rogers struggles to say the word ass as if this is too hardcore for him. Side headlock by Rogers, Ulf Herman trips Rogers. Smothers is tripped by Chetti, leaping calf kick by Smothers. Make it two, Smothers dances for everyone. Smothers eats a missile dropkick, Smothers and The FBI regroup before a baseball slide by Rogers. Elbows by Rogers, slingshot clothesline by Herman. Chetti hammers Herman, Smothers Superkicks Rogers with Little Guido nailing a side Russian legsweep. Rogers is choked and stomped in the corner, Little Guido attacks Rogers again.

Rogers fights back before a pumpkick from Smothers, two for Smothers. Little Guido and Smothers tag team Rogers while Rich distracts the referee. Reverse chinlock by Smothers, Rogers escapes and nails a Russian legsweep. Rogers misses an elbow, Smothers tries a splash but Rogers uses his knees to block. Right hands and knee lift by Rogers, dropkicks for Guido and Rich. Powerslam on Smothers, Rogers is on the top rope. Smothers dodges, Oklahoma roll but Rogers had his foot on the ropes. Smothers crossbodies but Rogers rolls through for two. School-boy by Rogers for two, low blow by Smothers. Pumphandle slam and Smothers gets two, Guido has the Italian flag. Tom—Kaze and Rogers picks up the win.

They kept it short, a lot of it was interference and that was for the best. I really did not want to see those two do a match and I was rewarded for my lack of faith as it looks like Heyman felt the same way about the two. Afterwards, Mabel AKA Viscera joins The FBI because why the fuck not, Ulf Herman is a beastly wrestling name though, screams superstar. Mabel and Herman have a table, Spike comes running to the ring. Mabel dives through a table as Spike dodges, Acid Drop on Herman. Mabel splashes Herman by mistake, low blow and Acid Drop with Spike pinning both. Fuck it whatever, this is all ridiculous.

Winner: Tommy Rogers over Tracy Smothers via Tomi-Kaze!

Jerry Lynn vs Lance Storm W/ Dawn Marie

Storm was kicked out of the Triple Threat when Bigelow pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes re-joining the group which meant there was no place for Storm. Angry at what took place, Storm would bring in Tammy Lynn Bytch to combat Candido and Sunny AKA Tammy Lynn Sytch. We have two referees in Tammy and Mikey Whipwreck, the reason I have no clue as the WWE network version has cut out why they were feuding at the time. Not like it will matter by the end of the match, I am sure there will be tonnes of interference and shenanigans that will make my head spin.

Storm and Lynn begin wrestling, trading holds. Shoulder block by Lynn, more nice wrestling with counters. Drop toehold by Lynn, arm-wringer by Lynn. Armbars follow with the fans caring more about seeing Tammy’s ass, series of near-falls which gives the fans what they want. Shoulder block by Lynn for two, once again same result. Drop toehold and front chancery by Storm, hammerlock counter by Lynn. Storm backs Lynn into the corner, elbows and chops by Storm. Lynn reverses and takes revenge, stomps in the corner. Storm does a Flair flip and is knocked into the guard rail, baseball slide into a headscissors by Lynn. Somersault senton by Lynn off the apron, Bytch rakes the back of Lynn. Springboard clothesline by Storm for two, Storm and Tammy have words.

Snapmare and knee drop by Storm, reverse chinlock by Storm. Whipwreck pulls up Tammy’s skirt, Whipwreck shall be a legend for this. Lynn escapes, crossbody for two. Headscissors by Lynn, Storm elevates Lynn to the apron. Bytch grabs Lynn’s feet, dropkick to the floor by Storm. Springboard clothesline by Storm to the floor, sunset flip out of the corner by Lynn. Two for Lynn, Storm has a powerbomb counter, full-nelson facebuster by Storm. Romero Special by Storm, dropkick and a kiss for Storm from Bytch. Lynn rolls through a  powerbomb for two, Superkick by Storm for two. Sleeper by Lynn, Storm counters for his own sleeper. Back suplex by Lynn, Lynn counters a hurricanrana for a powerbomb, two for Lynn.

Eye poke by Storm, Lynn nails a front suplex but Storm counters a piledriver for a pin. Pedigree by Lynn, two for Lynn. Storm is on the middle rope, Lynn dropkicks Storm to the floor. Crossbody to the floor by Lynn, Lynn is crotched on the top rope, super back suplex by Storm. Bytch shoves Tammy for no reason really, Bytch is pulled into the ring. Snapmare and we see Bytch stripped, she was beautiful though. Whipwreck shoves Tammy and Whippersnappers Bytch, Whippersnapper by Whipwreck on Lynn which leads to a two. Tammy Whippersnappers Storm, Whipwreck Whippersnappers Tammy. Storm is in a small package, Whipwreck turns over Storm and counts the pin.

Ten out of ten for Dawn Marie’s ass, that is my review. Kidding, Lynn has been a joy in this promotion as he seems to be the only man interested in having a good match. Storm was always a wrestler who did the same thing as opposed to being hardcore, put the two together and you have a fun wrestling match. Then, the overbooking came into it and there was so many different things going on, it was mental. I guess they accomplished what they wanted? But Jesus Christ, why does there have to be so much women violence going on? It was making me laugh how casually they would attack women in this promotion.

Winner: Lance Storm over Jerry Lynn via Shenanigans!

(ECW Tag Team Championship Match) The Dudley Boyz © W/ Big Dick/Sign Guy/Joel Gertner vs Masato Tanaka & Balls Mahoney

Tanaka and Mahoney are not 100%, suffering assaults and injuries at the hands of the champions, everyone has a chair in their hand to start of this match. The Dudleys jump Mahoney and Tanaka, Tanaka is double teamed before we are down to Tanaka and Bubba. Tanaka fires up on Bubba but Bubba uses a headbutt to take down Tanaka, tag to D-Von who nails a spinning reverse elbow. Right hands to Tanaka, snapmare and neck crank from D-Von. Bubba is in, right hands to Tanaka. Neckbreaker by Bubba for two, Bubba sends Tanaka into the turnbuckle. D-Von is legal, right hands by D-Von. Tanaka low blows D-Von, D-Von elbows his way out of a hold and plants Tanaka with a reverse DDT.

Second person mocking The People’s Elbow tonight, Mahoney is in. Frog Splash by Mahoney, Bubba saves the match. Bubba and Mahoney brawl, low blow by Mahoney. Superkick by Mahoney, D-Von is elevated onto Bubba. Tanaka leaps to the floor with a plancha, Mahoney decides it is fun time and before Mahoney can dive, Big Dick ends that fun. Big Dick pummels Tanaka while D-Von has Mahoney. Bubba planchas onto everyone, Roaring elbow by Tanaka on Bubba. Big Dick has Tanaka in the torture rack, Big Dick Driver on Tanaka. Rotten nails Big Dick with a chair, Sign Guy Dudley waffles Rotten as Gertner comes into the ring too. Sign Guy eats a Nutcracker Suite, Gertner chairshots Mahoney. No effect as Mahoney swings the chair, Gertner dodges as everyone has chairs again.

Mahoney and Tanaka use fighting spirit to withstand chair shots before The Dudleys hammer the two. Double Roaring Elbows with chairs smashing The Dudleys in the face, crooked referee is in the match. Jeff Jones eats a chair to the head, elbows and right hands by the challengers. Tanaka walks into a 3D, Tanaka kicks out of a 3D! The first man to do so, Rotten handcuffs Big Dick to the ringpost, Bubba and D-Von cannot believe what Tanaka has done, the two almost waffle one another. Tanaka and Mahoney have chairs, double whammy but The Dudleys kick out! Tornado DDT by Tanaka, Nutcracker Suite on the chair and The Dudleys still kick out! Double low blow by Dudleys, piledriver by D-Von on Mahoney. Tanaka eats a sit-out powerbomb, The Dudleys have tables. Sabu and RVD attack The Dudleys, The Dudleys are left on the tables. Double Frog Splashes through the table and we have new tag team champions.

For fuck sake, you let Tanaka kick out of the 3D, the Dudleys’ killshot. But you could not give the man a clean win, you could end it with a tornado DDT or a roaring elbow? You had to have more interference with RVD and Sabu running out to make the save for Tanaka and Mahoney, it was unnecessary and I cannot believe they would do this kind of shite, how did ECW get away with all of this for so long?

Winners: Mahoney & Tanaka over The Dudleys via Frog Splashes!

Tommy Dreamer & Mystery Partner vs Jack Victory & Justin Credible W/ Chastity/Nicole Bass/Jason/Lance Wright

The continued push of one Justin Credible, Credible had issues with Dreamer as Credible’s stock continued to rise in the ECW. Jake Roberts is Dreamer’s partner, that’s quite the interesting choice. Double high knee lift by Dreamer and Roberts, Victory is elevated to the floor as is Credible. Plancha by Dreamer, Jason grabs Dreamer’s foot off an Irish whip. Roberts and Credible are in the ring, inverted atomic drop and clothesline to the floor. Wright and Jason are massacred by Dreamer, Credible drops Dreamer on the guard rail (Never seen that before….). Dreamer is tossed to the ramp, Jason does the damage to Dreamer. Powerslam on the ramp by Credible, Dreamer is hurled into the ring.

Jumping DDT by Credible, reverse chinlock by Credible. Roberts and the referee have words, Jason is in the ring. Jason eats a Dreamer DDT, superplex by Dreamer. Credible has a chair, drop toehold into the chair Raven style. Credible missing a running low dropkick, Dreamer sends Credible groin first into the ringpost. Roberts stomps on Chastity? Cameraman missed it, Credible is caught for an Emerald Flowsion or Dreamer Driver as they call it here. Roberts is in, right hands to Credible and Jason. Short-arm clotheslines, Ron Price and The One Man Gang? What is going on here? Splashes for Roberts and Dreamer, New Jack’s music plays.

Kronus and New Jack are here, weapons everywhere as we descend into chaos. Lots of brawling and weapon shots, it is not a match anymore. It just keeps going, Dreamer nails a frog splash on Credible for two, Louie Spiccoli Driver on Credible. Roberts eats a low blow from Chastity, Dreamer piledrivers Chastity. Low blow on Bass by Roberts, DDT on Nicole Bass. Low blow on Roberts by Credible, Dreamer has a ladder. Credible is yanked off the top rope onto a ladder, DDT on the ladder by Roberts. Dreamer and Roberts win the match if you could even call it that at the end.

Yeah that was a load of shite, nice to see Roberts but the result is the same. Far too much overbooking making matches complicated that have no need to be so complicated. It just sucks me out of the whole thing, I do not know how people can enjoy this type of wrestling. Anyways, Dreamer beats Credible so where do they go from here? God only knows!

Winners: Tommy Dreamer & Jake Roberts over Justin Credible & Jack Victory via DDT!

The Triple Threat W/ Francine vs Sabu/Taz/Rob Van Dam W/ Bill Alfonso

RVD and Sabu stand at the ramp, The Dudleys commence the assault a receipt for earlier in the night. Tazplexes all around, Taz looks like a world-beater. Bigelow jumps Taz, RVD and Douglas brawl on the floor. Sabu and Candido are in the ring, RVD is sent over the guard rail. Bigelow and Taz slug it out, Pittsburgh Plunge on Sabu, leg drop by Candido. Sabu fights Douglas and Candido, Candido goes low on Sabu. Sabu elevates Candido to the floor, Douglas makes his move. Sabu dives onto Douglas and Candido, RVD springboards onto Douglas and Candido too. Triple Jump Moonsault by Sabu on Douglas for two, Bigelow catches Sabu and drops him with two inverted atomic drops.

Candido piledrivers Sabu, two for Douglas. Candido nails Sabu with a delayed vertical suplex, two for Candido. Tag to Douglas, shoulderbreaker from Douglas. Sabu reverses an Irish whip to the corner, springboard leg lariat for two. Arabian press with Douglas breaking up the pin, dropkick by Sabu. RVD comes in our ECW really going to try and enforce rules where the referee did not see the tag? That did not last long, Taz goes through a table off-screen. Bigelow slams RVD, Sabu dropkicks the leg of Douglas but Douglas tags Candido. Rocket launcher does not work as RVD enters illegally and nails a diving thrust kick on Candido. Back drop on Douglas, Frog Splash on Candido.

RVD avoids a powerbomb and nails a corkscrew leg drop on Bigelow, Taz tags in despite everyone throwing that out the window when they feel like it? Douglas throws Taz to the floor, RVD has Bigelow in the crowd. Taz watches Douglas from behind, RVD fucks up a boot to Bigelow. Douglas tries running from Taz, RVD somersault sentons into the crowd. Taz applies The Tazmission, Sabu has a chair. Sabu drops a leg drop on Taz and Douglas to pick up the win. Taz and Sabu are not happy, they are in one another’s face once again.

Definition of a clusterfuck, they needed to do one thing for this match: Have it like a regular six-man tag match with Taz going over strong. We do not get either from this match, the first part is brawling like everyone is everywhere and the cameras cannot keep up with the action if their life depended on capturing the footage. So, we have cuts to this and that missing spots and no real direction or flow to the match. Eventually, they hunker down and say fuck it, let’s do it right but that’s far too late to do so and they give up on that too within three minutes. Again, I am struggling to follow or see any resemblance to a story being told within the ring.

So, we come to the finish where Taz has not looked like the next champion but rather a whiney little bitch as Sabu got the pin on Douglas. Taz has been on a warpath for a year to get a championship match with Douglas and at the biggest show of the year for the company, they have Sabu who is not your next champion and they allow Sabu to pin Taz to reignite their feud. Why? Just why? Almost a year of action built up and you have nothing to show for it, Bigelow and Candido were afterthoughts as was your God damn champion. I hardly saw RVD the whole match, it was bizarre. Terrible end to a terrible show really.

Winners: Team Sabu over Triple Threat via Arabian Facebuster!

That was ECW’s November to Remember 1998, that was so disappointing. Not one match where I could shake my head and say that was good because there was always interference or nonsense taking place in that ring. Your main event for your biggest show of the year was a joke, a six-man tag with no real direction. Your ending is a tease for a feud that has nothing to do with your world champion, your world champion is starting to feel a lot like Goldberg, Douglas is hardly defending the belt while on pay per view. There is no setup for his next challenger, Taz is distracted so a year’s worth of build is not put on the backburner. Everything in between had to have overbooked garbage, brawls and finishes that made the wrestlers look weak and inferior.  This was not a good show, this was a tough one to get through. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

Related image