Monday 26 March 2018

WWF Wrestlemania 2 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that continues to stumble along more than Impact Wrestling! It's time for Wrestlemania 2 headlined by Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy for the WWF World Championship, the card also features the likes of Roddy Piper vs Mr. T in a boxing match, Hercules vs Ricky Steamboat and George The Animal Steele challenging Macho Man Randy Savage for the WWF Intercontinental Championship. Wrestlemania was history in the making but beyond the main event and the importance of the event, there was not much reason to watch the show. Will Wrestlemania 2 be the show to cement Wrestlemania's legacy? Let's find out!

Magnificent Muraco W/ Mr. Fuji vs Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff

Orndorff had been a babyface for almost a year following Piper's criticism of his tag partner in the main event of Wrestlemania 1. Muraco and Orndroff lock-up, clean break between the two. Side headlock from Orndorff, scoop slam from Muraco. Orndorff kicks off Muraco, scoop slam from Orndorff. Muraco sends Orndorff to the corner, a few cheap shots follow from Muraco. Muraco tries an Irish whip, Orndorff reverses the whip. Massive back body drop and an armbar from Orndorff. Muraco tries an Irish whip, Orndorff continues to hold on and wrench the arm. Samoan drop from Muraco, right hand to the face. Orndorff meets the turnbuckle, Orndorff fires back at Muraco. Muraco and Orndorff spill to the floor, the two begin brawling.

No contest to begin the show? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. What a crock, that's no way to begin a show. The crowd begin chanting bullshit, I love it. Could not sum up my feelings any better, terrible beginning to Wrestlemania.

No Contest!

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Randy Macho Man Savage (C) W/ Miss Elizabeth vs George The Animal Steele

The feud continues between Savage and Steele, Steele turned babyface early in 1985, Steele is affectionate towards Miss Elizabeth who is treated like dirt by the champion Savage. Savage is weary of Steele to begin the contest, Steele's unorthodox style in the ring terrifies The Macho Man. Talk about stalling, Savage runs from Steele over and over. Steele catches Savage by the leg, Steele bites Savage. Savage is limping, Savage comes in with a knee. Steele chokes and throat tosses Savage. Steele distracts himself with Elizabeth, Steele gets caught in the ropes. Crossbody by Savage for two, Steele pummels Savage.

Savage crawls under the ring, Steele is lost. Savage knees Steele, Steele bites Savage. Eye rake from Savage, Savage has flowers. Steele is whacked with the flowers, more biting and Savage eats the flowers to the face. Steele rips open the turnbuckle, the two chase around the ring. Steele is distracted by Elizabeth, double axe handle from Savage from the top rope. Scoop Slam and Elbow Drop from Savage, two for Savage. Steele grabs the nose of Savage, Savage is in the corner. Roll-up from Savage with the feet on the ropes for the win.

Great angle, matches leave much to be desired. Steele's antics can make matches fun but Savage is not that type of comedy wrestler who can make these type of matches super fun. Savage plays the jerk and coward very well but this seemed like a night off for Savage when all was said and done. Disappointing start so far, I need more from Wrestlemania.

Winner: Randy Savage over George Steele via Roll-Up!

Jake The Snake Roberts vs George Wells

George Wells is a dead man as the new star in town is Jake The Snake Roberts. Roberts had lit up in WCCW and later Mid-South Wrestling. Jake comes in and slaps Wells, Wells fires up with right hands and a back drop. Roberts eats a right hand on the floor, Roberts grabs a side headlock but eats a shoulder block. Flying headscissors from Wells, Roberts asks for a time-out. Scoop slam from Wells, powerslam from Wells for two. Eye rake from Roberts, knee lift from Roberts. DDT from Roberts and this match is over. Roberts uses the snake on Wells, nice squash still waiting for something big. DUD!

Winner: Jake Roberts over George Wells via DDT!

(Boxing Match) Mr. T vs Roddy Piper

This is too much for me, T had knocked out Orton in a boxing match at Saturday Night's Main Event, this is a step forward as Piper battles the man he continues to mock and antagonize week after week. They begin by feeling one another out, jabbing. Some hooks are thrown, they clinch before we get a break. Cheap shots from Piper, the two continue brawling before Piper scores a knockdown on T. Piper boots T, Piper gets knocked down in round three. Both men are gasping for air, we make it to round four. Both men begin firing live rounds into one another. Piper shoves the referee and slams T, we have the DQ.

If they had T knock out Piper, would they have not gotten huge publicity? I mean what was the problem with T knocking out Piper? Hurting Piper's credibility? Would have anyone have seen it like that? I do not think so, Piper would be a babyface by the time of the next Wrestlemania so why not go for the knockout of Piper with T stanidn tall? I do not get it, boring match though. DUD!

Winner: Mr. T over Roddy Piper via Knockout!

(WWF Women's Championship Match) The Fabulous Moolah (C) vs Velvet Mcintyre

Wendi Richter is nowhere to be seen, why? Richter had not signed back with the promotion which led Vince to the orginal screwjob where Moolah as the masked spider lady pinned Richter's shoulders forcibly to the mat. This match begins with Moolah snapmaring Velvet, Velvet comes back with a dropkick before a crossbody goes wrong and Moolah pins Velvet for the win. DUD, this show is killing me people, it truly is!

Winner: Fabulous Moolah over Velvet Mcintyre via Cover!

(Flag Match) Nikolai Volkoff W/ Classy Freddy Blassie vs Corporal Kirchner

Spin kick and knee lift from Volkoff, Kirchner is dumped onto the floor. Kirchner meets the ringpost, Volkoff bites Kirchner. Kirchner meets the ringpost again, Kirchner fires back with right hands. Kirchner is bleeding, the referee is down. More right hands, Kirchner intercepts Blassie's cane and Kirchner decimates Volkoff with the cane, Kirchner is the winner.

Jesus Christ, does this show have any matches worth a damn? I look away and the match is over, it's so fast. I hope Kirchner was busted open hard way because I would not blade for a match this long, it's a damn joke. Every match so far has been nothing short of diasppointing.

Winner: Coporal Kirchner over Nikolai Volkoff via Cane Shot!

(20-Man Battle Royal Match)

Elimination occurs over the top rope, some of the NFL's biggest stars and the WWF's inside of the ring. Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas,Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Danny Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, B Brian Blair, Jumpin Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Frallic, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William Perry, Andre The Giant. These are the participants, never been a huge fan of American Football but its clear they are some big names inside of that ring.

The match begins, it will be hard to recap all of this action. As the match edges closer to the end, the WWF wrestlers begin to dominate the ring with Perry and Francis being all that remain of the NFL stars. Sammartino is thrown out by Studd, Perry has a faceoff with Studd. Studd eats a huge tackle, Studd catches Perry and dumps out Perry. Great way to get heat on Studd, Perry asks for a handshake and pulls out Studd. The Hart Foundation and Francis see Andre and decide to team up. Double dropkick to Andre, Andre is caught in the ropes. The Hart Foundation catch Francis and Francis is throan out, the arena comes alive for Andre. Bret eats a boot, noggin knocker from Andre. Neidhart is booted to the floor and Andre press slams Bret onto Neidhart, Andre is your winner.

Best match so far, they could have done so much with Perry in that match, the crowd were rampant for their hometown hero. The spot with Studd was excellent though, if Perry threw out Studd, the reaction would have been monstrous. It seems that this is the Wrestlemania of wasted opportunity, we could have had so much more but best of the card so far and it took an hour and a half.

Winner: Andre The Giant over Everyone Else via Survival!

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The British Bulldogs W/ Captain Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne vs The Dream Team (C) W/ Luscious Johnny Valiant

This match stole the show at the last Saturday Night's Main Event, Bulldogs were hugely over with the WWF audience. The crowd wanted a championship change, the fans could smell it was coming but Wrestlemania is the place for the championship change. Valentine and Davey Boy begin the match, Davey Boy shoves down Valentine. Elbows by both men, Davey Boy wins the war. Takedown by Valentine, Davey Boy escapes and wrenches the arm. Hiptoss by Valentine, Valentine misses an elbow. Tag to Dynamite Kid, Valentine meets the turnbuckle for a one-count. Shoulder block from Dynamite, snap suplex from Dynamite.

Davey Boy suplexes Valentine hard for two, Valentine begs for mercy. Valentine powders, Davey Boy eats an elbow to the back of the head. Low headbutt from Valentine, tag to Beefcake. Davey Boy military press slams Beefcake, tag to Dynamite. Clothesline and knife edge chop for two, small package for two. Tag to Davey Boy, fisherman suplex for two. Beefcake tags Valentine, double axe handle to Davey Boy. Suplex for two, elbow from Valentine. Dynamite tags in, right hands and shoulder thrusts to Valentine. Two for Dynamite, tag to Davey Boy. Tag to Dynamite, double shoulder block. Beefcake enters illegally, Dynamite gets two on a sunset flip, backbreaker from Dynamite. Beefcake saves Valentine, forearm shot to Dynamite. Piledriver from Valentine for two, Valentines gets caught by Dynamite. Dynamite tosses Valentine from the top rope.

Valentine rolls to the floor, Dynamite is double teamed before Davey Boy gets a tag. Running Powerslam, Beefcake makes the save. Snap suplex by Davey Boy for two, Davey Boy is whipped shoulder first into the ringpost. Stomps to the arm by Valentine, Beefcake axe handles the arm. Hammerlock atomic drop by Beefcake, Davey Boy meets the turnbuckle shoulder first. Tag to Valentine, double axe handle to Davey Boy. Shoulderbreaker for two, Valentine did not want to win so easily. Davey Boy whips Valentine into Dynamite who is on the second turnbuckle, they bang heads and Davey Boy pins Valentine for the win.

Fantastic match, The Bulldogs and Savage I would put in a separate league to everyone else in terms of workstyles in the WWF. They work fast with tonnes of crisp bumps and drama all over the place. They stole the show before, it is not the first time. They continue to entertain, Valentine is a fantastic heel. Enjoying his work a lot, Beefcake is coming along but Valentine was tremendous. Loved the drama, loved everything about this match. Worthy of being a Wrestlemania match, both finishes have been so bizarre for their tag team championships but I just love the fact that a headbutt would knock someone out.

Winners: The British Bulldogs over The Dream Team via Headbutt!

Ricky The Dragon Steamboat vs Hercules Hernandez

Hercules jumps Steamboat to begin the match, Hercules is super vicious in the beginning. Steamboat slides through the legs, massive chop. Armdrags from Steamboat, superkick from Steamboat. Hercules tries an Irish whip, leapfrogs and a massive chop from Steamboat. Suplex from Steamboat, Hercules shoves Steamboat into the turnbuckle, vicious clothesline and stomps from Hercules. Stungun from Hercules, massive chops from Steamboat, Steamboat tries a scoop slam but Hercules is too big for Steamboat. Elbow and elbow drops by Hercules, two for Hercules. Massive chops from Steamboat, Hercules answers with a clothesline for two. Military press slam, gorilla press slam. Steamboat blocks a splash with his knees, Steamboat goes high. Crossbody and Steamboat wins the match!

Good match, the show is picking up quite a bit, thankfully. Hercules started rough, jumping Steamboat it's a little thing but I really enjoyed the intensity shown by Hercules and the frustration on Hercules' face as Steamboat would not be beaten inside the ring. Steamboat was classy as always, great selling and bumping around the ring. So smooth and the crossbody is quite possibly the prettiest finisher at the time.

Winner: Ricky The Dragon Steamboat over Hercules Hernandez via Crossbody!

Adorable Adrian Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart vs Uncle Elmer

The fabulous Adonis is ramping up the sissy and gay factor times a thousand, Adonis looks like an old granny, Elmer chases off the two to begin the match. Adonis does the Flair flip, fantastic. Elmer knocks Adonis to the floor, massive right from Elmer. Elmer rips at Adonis, Adonis gains control through a series of lefts, rights by Elmer. Corner splash by Elmer, Elmer misses a leg drop. Adonis delivers a splash for the win.

Yeah, that went as well as it could have gone, Adonis surprised me with his agility in this match. Adonis might have something if Adonis has an opponent that can work a good match. However, when you are stuck with Elmer, things are not going to be anything beyond midly entertaining.

Winner: Adrian Adonis over Uncle Elmer via Splash!

The Funk Brothers W/ Jimmy Hart vs Tito Santana & Junkyard Dog

Terry Funk had been annoying every single person the man came into contact with, this leads us to a pissed off Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana looking to kick some serious ass. Terry is teaming with Dory Jr., the two being a decorated tag team in Giant Baba's All Japan Pro Wrestling Promotion, The Funks were special due to being babyfaces in Japan despite their Gaijin status. JYD and Dory start us off, the babyfaces clear the ring before JYD tags Santana. Terry and Santana are in, chops by Terry. Clothesline to the floor by Santana, Dory eats multiple dropkicks from Santana. JYD vs Terry, jabs by Terry. Dog rocks Terry, Terry meets the turnbuckle.

Terry meets the turnbuckle at least twenty times, headbutt for two. Terry is sent flying to the floor, Dory tags into the match. JYD tags Santana, side headlock by Santana. Elbows and uppercuts from Dory, Flying Forearm by Santana. Terry breaks up the pin, Criss-Cross, Terry knees Santana in the back. Dory is in control now, tag to Terry. Santana is tossed to the floor, Jimmy Hart kicks Santana. Suplex by Terry for two, Santana suplexes Terry. Terry and Santana bang heads, Dory tags into the match. Double underhook suplex, Santana battles back at Dory.

Dory uppercuts Santana, double clothesline by The Funks. Leg drop by Terry for two, Santana dodges a leg drop. Santana fires back, Terry headbutts Santana. Santana tags JYD after dodging Terry, noggin knocker. Clothesline to Terry, Dory is dropped. Terry eats a headbutt, Terry is back dropped to the floor. Headbutt to Dory, Terry is slammed onto a table. Santana brawls with Dory, Terry is kicked by JYD. JYD has Jimmy Hart, huge slap to Jimmy Hart. Small package by JYD, Figure Four on Dory by Santana. Terry is thrown the megaphone by Jimmy Hart, JYD is knocked out and The Funk Brothers win the match.

A tonne of fun inside of the ring, Terry Funk is my favourite bumper at this moment and time, Terry is hilarious bouncing around the ring being punch-drunk, nothing is more entertaining than watching Terry going around the ring. JYD and Santana held their own in that ring, all four were great to watch and you have a cheap finish putting the heat on Terry Funk. I hope they dont waste Terry Funk at this stage, Funk has been a constant source of entertainment.

Winners: The Funk Brothers over JYD & Tito Santana via Megaphone!

(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan (C) vs King Kong Bundy W/ Bobby Heenan

The main event what we have all been waiting for, the cage grudge match between King Kong Bundy vs Hulk Hogan. Hogan had beaten the likes of Terry Funk, Bob Orton and had DQ wins over Roddy Piper which were certain victories for The Hulkster had it not been interference from Piper's lackeys. Hogan was riding high before Bundy called out the champion, Bundy chose his moment to attack. Bundy assaulted Hogan during Hogan's match with Magnificent Muraco. Repeated splashes crushed the ribs of Hogan, Hogan is not 100%, the ribs have been taped. The odds are in Bundy's favour, Hogan and Bundy begin brawling. Bundy eats chops and a corner clothesline, stomps from Hogan. Axe bomber but Bundy does not fall, Bundy goes for the ribs.

Bundy elbows Hogan, scoop slam and Hogan is screaming out in pain. Bundy steps on Hogan's head, Bundy is going for the door. Hogan desperately grabs the leg of Bundy, Bundy stomps on Hogan. Slam into the cage wall, Bundy goes for the door again but Hogan holds onto Bundy. Bundy rips away the protective tape, Bundy chokes Hogan with the tape. Bundy ties Hogan to the ropes, Bundy tries to escape but Hogan is on his feet. Hogan hammers away at Bundy, corner elbow. Big right hands, Bundy meets the cage head first, Bundy blades for Hogan. Right hands to the cut of Bundy, eye rake from Hogan. Bundy meets the cage twice, Hogan begins climbing the cage. Hogan's scoop slam goes wrong, Hogan has his tape and Hogan chokes Bundy. Avalanche and Splash from Bundy,Hogan begins to Hulk Up. Avalanche has no effect, slam by Hogan. Atomic Leg Drop from Hogan, Hogan begins climbing to the top. Bundy is giving chase, Bundy is kicked off by Hogan. Bundy is going for the door, Heenan is brawling with Hogan. Heenan is in the cage but Hogan's feet have longed hit the floor. Hogan throws around Heenan to end the show.

The atmosphere is tremendous for this match, this feels like a Wrestlemania match and a Wrestlemania moment. As for the match, I would have expected a lot more rib work and struggle from Hogan due to how much they make out of Hogan's injury. That was not the case though, Hogan no-sells the avalanche and the splash, there was no real drama or sense of danger for Hogan. It always seemed like Hogan was going to prevail. That being said, the crowd were electric for this match and the main event sent everyone home happy.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over King Kong Bundy via Escape!

That was WWF's Wrestlemania 2, not the greatest show on Earth like I had hoped for the second Wrestlemania. The first Wrestlemania was going to have some growing pains, this is a year later and the WWF attempted something even crazier with three cards taking place at three different arenas. It did not work with many matches lacking the quality or excitement of a big match card. The boxing match which was hyped up fell very flat for me, the beginning of the show to start with a count-out was ridiculous. Large parts of the show dragged and it was not very entertaining.

Things picked up with the battle royal, I felt it could have been handled better just like the boxing match but it was a lot of fun, the tag team title match was tremendous, The Bulldogs were on fire and Valentine was showing off a great heel side, The Funks and Steamboat were able to craft solid and entertaining matches while the main event was exciting and interesting due to crowd interest even if I feel that Hogan could have sold more and ramped up the drama factor. So, it was alright, better than the first Wrestlemania but not by much, thanks ofr reading and remember: There's always another night!

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Monday 19 March 2018

WWF Saturday Night's Main Event March 1st, 1986 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that stoops as low as mocking other promotions through fancy new t-shirts! (Take That Bullet Club!) Another Saturday Night’s Main Event from the WWF, we have a boxing match between Mr. T and Ace Bob Orton, Hulk Hogan defending his WWF Championship against The Magnificent Muraco and the eccentric Adrian Adonis vs The Junkyard Dog. Let’s get it on!

(Boxing Match) Cowboy Bob Orton W/ Roddy Piper vs Mr. T

A ten round boxing match in preparation of Mr. T and Piper at Wrestlemania 2, they trade punches in the gimmicked boxing match. Jabs, hooks, uppercuts galore. Piper is admonishing the referee, they continue to throw punches. Orton locks a hold and eye pokes Mr. T, Piper talks strategy with Orton. Mr. T wants to continue fighting, Mr. T begins throwing rights and lefts. Cheap shot from Orton after the bell, Orton begins dancing full of confidence. Mr. T rocks the cocky Orton, Piper nails Orton by mistake. Mr. T knocks Orton to the floor, Orton cannot make the count. Passable but laughable at the same time. DUD!

Winner: Mr. T over Bob Orton via TKO!

King Kong Bundy vs Steve Gatorwolf

Bundy is the man, Bundy is under the guidance of Bobby Heenan. Steve Gatorwolf is a poor unlucky son of a gun. Bundy kicks Gatorwolf hard, Gatorwolf is chopped and clubbed out of the corner. Avalanche from Bundy and it’s over with Bundy getting his five count. Squash and DUD!

Winner: King Kong Bundy over Steve Gatorwolf via Avalanche!

(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs The Magnficent Muraco W/ Bobby Heenan

Hogan is running wild brother, Bundy calls out Hogan for a championship match but Hogan cannot look past Muraco. Muraco had beaten up Steamboat and turned his attention to Hogan, clubbing blows and back rakes from Muraco. Muraco loses control after an Irish whip to the corner and a back drop, Hogan rakes the back of Muraco. Heenan eats a massive right hand, more back rakes from Hogan. Hogan hammers Muraco on the floor, slugfest between the two. Left jabs and huge right from Hogan for two, bearhug from Hogan.

Headbutt by Muraco, stiff kick to the ribs from Muraco. Massive knee drop for two, Asian spike to the throat by Muraco. Knee lift from Muraco, make it two. Low headbutt from Muraco, knee to the face by Muraco. Muraco stomps all over Hogan, Hogan kicks out at two and begins to Hulk Up. Right hands, elbow and chops. Big boot and an Atomic Leg Drop, Heenan stomps on Hogan. Hogan has Heenan but here comes Bundy, Bundy assaults Hogan. Avalanche from Bundy, over and over Bundy splashes Hogan injuring the champion’s ribs and back. Bundy has made a statement tonight!

Great angle to setup the Wrestlemania match between the two, Bundy has laid out Hogan, something that had never happened to Hogan. Hogan would need medical attention, doctors surrounding Hogan. A stretcher is brought ringside, this is big news. The match was fine, your simple formulaic Hogan match with selling, Hulk Up and Leg Drop with either a clean finish or some sort of a DQ.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over Magnificent Muraco via DQ!

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The British Bulldogs W/ Captain Lou Albano vs The Dream Team © W/ Luscious Johnny Valiant

The Bulldogs had won the non-title match a few months prior which leads us to this championship match, Davey Boy headbutts Valentine, close two. Apron suplex for two, tag to Dynamite. Double knees, headbutt from Dynamite for two. Side headlock from Dynamite, blind tag to Beefcake. Dynamite batters Beefcake, tag to Davey Boy. Davey Boy wrenches the arm of Beefcake, elbow from Davey Boy. Beefcake tags Valentine, Davey Boy military press slams Valentine for two. Tag to Dynamite, double headbutt. Knee drop from Dynamite, back suplex with a headbutt to the back of the head. Two for Dynamite, middle rope knee drop and a tag to Davey Boy.

Valentine forearms Davey Boy, Davey Boy answers with a dropkick. Small package for two, Valentine is slammed into the corner. Tag to Dynamite, atomic drop from Valentine. Tag to Beefcake, stomp to the lower abdomen. Albano and Valiant tease brawling, everyone comes out to break up the managers. Beefcake eats a massive dropkick and splash for two, Beefcake elbows Davey Boy down. Tag to Valentine, double stomp to the chest. Figure Four from Valentine, Dynamite leg drops Valentine. Tag to Dynamite, headbutts from Dynamite. Valentine delivers massive clubbing blows and a middle rope elbow for two.

Shoulder breaker from Valentine for two, tag to Beefcake. Double knees from the champions, snapmare and a jumping stomp for two. Tag to Valentine, hammering blow for two. Figure Four is blocked, Valentine meets the turnbuckle. Valentine goes high, Dynamite pulls off Valentine. Dropkick from Dynamite, Valentine puts his foot on the ropes. Clothesline from Dynamite for two, snap suplex with Beefcake eating a dropkick from Davey Boy. Dynamite whips Valentine off the ropes, both men bang heads with Valentine landing on top of Dynamite for the pin.

Best match I have seen since beginning to cover Saturday Night’s Main Event, The British Bulldogs were on fire for the whole match, lots of high energy moves and spots, so different from everything else on the card. The perfect babyface tag team for the WWF, they stole my hearts during this match and I hope there is a tag team title change somewhere down the road.

Winners: The Dream Team over The British Bulldogs via Big Collision!

Adorable Adrian Adonis vs Junkyard Dog

Adonis had undergone a transformation, a flamboyant wrestler with homosexual overtones. Nowadays, it would be panned and criticised but back then, it was perfectly fine. I mean in Ireland, we had homosexuality as a criminal act up until 1993, Adonis gets thrown around by Dog. Punches and tosses, JYD mocks Adonis and his mannerisms. Headbutt to Adonis, Jimmy Hart is whipped into Adonis. Right hand to Adonis for two, Adonis places his foot on the ropes. JYD misses a falling headbutt, Adonis attacks the referee while Jimmy Hart ties up JYD to the bottom rope. Adonis chokes JYD while Jimmy Hart taunts Dog. The referee pulls off Adonis, Adonis nails a fist drop. Adonis attempts a piledriver, JYD’s feet hit the referee. JYD sends Adonis into Hart’s megaphone, JYD wins the match.

Fun little main event, it is amazing to see how over JYD was when it came to the WWF but it seemed they never would go all the way with The Dog. Based on his performances and reactions so far, it seems unfair to have JYD not wrestling in the main event of every show alongside the likes of Hogan. Adonis had an interesting gimmick on his hands, the mannerisms and facials are there, it is just a question of how Vince would use Adorable Adrian Adonis.

Winner: Junkyard Dog over Adrian Adonis via Megaphone!

Another one in the history books, this would be quite an important Saturday Night’s Main Event for its role in building Hogan vs Bundy. Bundy looked impressive since his debut, Bundy could talk which is so important and his vocabulary is not limited to me Bundy Bundy smash Hogan. Wonderful, Hogan being stretchered out was great, adds to the drama with nobody knowing what kind of condition Hogan will be in, leaves you wanting more which is what you want from any wrestling show. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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WWF Saturday Night's Main Event January 4th, 1986 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that will always walk with Elias! Saturday Night’s Main Event, here we go again. The easiest way to fill in the gaps from WWF pay per views at the time, Hogan vs Terry Funk for the WWF Championship. Also, Randy Macho Man Savage takes on George The Animal Steele, Volkoff vs Kirchner and Ricky Steamboat teams with The Junkyard Dog to battle Mr. Fuji and Magnificent Muraco. Sounds like a fun night, let’s get it on!

Opening Promo

Down by the pool, we have Hogan preparing for his match with Terry Funk while Piper and The Body look down on Uncle Elmer and Hillbilly Jim. Vince welcomes us all to the show, there is a huge peace match between Volkoff and Kirchner.

Uncle Elmer/Cousin Luke/Hillbilly Jim vs Roddy Piper/Jesse Ventura/Cowboy Bob Orton

Piper and Ventura had taken the piss out of Uncle Elmer when Elmer was getting married on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Hillbilly Jim and Elmer did not take too kindly to their words, we have this match as a result. Ventura eye rakes Elmer, Elmer is back with right hands. Throat toss from Elmer, Ventura meets Hillbilly Jim’s boot. Side headlock by Hillbilly Jim, knee from Ventura. Tag to Piper, right hands by Hot Rod. Cousin Luke is in, Piper wants a handshake. Luke kicks Piper, clubbing blows from Luke. Piper fights back and tags Orton, double clothesline to Luke. Massive fists from Orton, stomps from Orton. Tag to Piper, throat thrust from Piper. Huge knee lift from Piper, Piper spits at Hillbilly Jim. Tag to Orton, Luke begins to fight back with headbutts.

Tag to Ventura, snapmare and Ventura steps on Luke’s throat. Tag to Piper who slaps Luke, eye poke from Piper. Tag to Orton, double axe handle. Tag to Piper, Luke tags Hillbilly Jim but Orton distracted the referee. Tag to Orton, scoop slam and tag to Piper. Luke tags Elmer, Piper backs off. Bearhug from Elmer, Piper rakes the eyes. Everyone is brawling, Piper is left with Hillbilly Jim. Headbutts have no effect on Hillbilly Jim, Piper slaps Jim. Hillbilly Jim is back into the heel corner, cheap shots from Orton. Tag to Ventura, tag to Orton. Elbow and tag to Piper, Hillbilly Jim tags Luke. Luke hammers everyone, Piper has The Sleeper on Luke. Elmer attacks Ventura, Orton nails Luke with his cast. Piper has The Sleeper and Team Ventura steal the win.

If anything, that over-delivered! Piper and Ventura had talked so much trash and you had Hillbilly Jim and Elmer just whooping ass when it came down to the match. Piper was great as was Ventura getting their asses handed to them, Orton using his cast once more for the heels to steal the win, good stuff worth the wait.

Winners: Team Piper over Team Elmer via Sleeper!

(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © W/ Junkyard Dog vs Terry Funk W/ Jimmy Hart

Funk came in like a house of fire branding and attacking anyone in his way, JYD felt the wrath of Funk at the last Saturday Night Main Event. Hogan was even a victim of the branding iron as Hogan was laid out by Funk. Corner clothesline by Hogan to begin the match, Funk flops to the floor. Hogan knocks Funk out of the ring again with a huge clothesline, side headlock from Hogan. Hogan steps on Funk’s back and kicks Funk to the floor. Lock-up, Funk backs in Hogan. Massive slaps, Hogan punches back at Funk. Funk flip to the apron, snapmare back in the ring. Back suplex, two for Hogan. Atomic back drop from Hogan, headbutt by Hogan. Axe Bomber and elbow drop, Jimmy Hart grabs the foot of Hogan off an Irish whip.

Jimmy Hart crawls under the ring, Funk has a chain. Funk chokes the life out of Hogan, Funk applies a sleeper for extra pressure. Piledriver by Funk, Hogan barely kicks out! Funk stomps away at Hogan, Hogan begins to Hulk Up! Right hands by Hogan, elbow to the face. Big boot, Funk is on the apron. Hogan tries a suplex, Funk lands on top of Hogan as Hogan is nailed with a branding iron, two for Funk. Funk argues with the referee and Hogan manages to nail a clothesline for the win!

Good stuff from Funk and Hogan, Funk is a bumping machine for his opponents. Funk goes out there and does his best to make his opponent look like a huge star, the gimmick is a big plus too. The cheesy cowboy type who brands his opponent, love it. Funk drags away Jimmy Hart at the end of the match, beautiful.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over Terry Funk over Clothesline!

Randy Macho Man Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs George The Animal Steele W/ Lou Albano

Elizabeth is being treated poorly by the egotistical Macho Man, a vignette before the match shows Savage pushing Elizabeth off a high rock to learn how to swim when Elizabeth has never swam in her life. The simplistic Steele has treated Elizabeth well showing a quality like King Kong caring for the young woman. Steel scares Savage to the floor, lock-up with Steele hurling Savage to the floor. Steele chases Savage before spotting Elizabeth, Savage protects Elizabeth. Steel re-enters the ring with Savage jumping Steele, Steele battles back with Savage hiding behind Elizabeth. Steele slams Savage in the ring, Steele rips off the turnbuckle. Savage eats a turnbuckle to the face, Steele is distracted by Elizabeth. Double Axe Handle by Savage for the win!

Tremendous character work in this match, it is nice to see the wild man Steele show affections for the beautiful Elizabeth who is being mistreated by the awful Savage. The match was nothing much at all but the interactions between Elizabeth and Steele made up for the lack of action, this is heading somewhere but where will it head?

Winner: Randy Savage over George The Animal Steele via Double Axe Handle!

Nikolai Volkoff W/ Freddie Blassie/Iron Sheik vs Corporal Kirchner

Lock-up, clean break from Volkoff. Lock-up, another clean break. Volkoff takes the back, Kirchner shakes off Volkoff. Side headlock takedown by Kirchner, top wristlock from Volkoff. More clean breaks, takedown from Volkoff. Clean break,, Kirchner has the O Connor roll for two. Side headlock by Kirchner, cartwheel and shoulder block by Volkoff. Hammerlock from Kirchner, small package for two. Knee and hotshot by Volkoff before a massive knee drop for the win.

Again, not much on the action side of things but they had a story they wanted to tell and they told it well. Everyone thought it would be a nice clean and technical match before Volkoff saw his opening. Volkoff took the opening and managed to win the match.

Winner: Nikolai Volkoff over Corporal Kirchner via Knee Drop!

Ricky The Dragon Steamboat & Junkyard Dog vs Mr. Fuji & Magnificent Muraco

Muraco and Fuji had put the boots to Steamboat, choking out The Dragon using a leather belt, Steamboat looks for revenge with JYD as his partner. Muraco and Fuji jump JYD and Steambot, Muraco has Junkyard Dog in the ring. Knee lift by Muraco, JYD back drops Muraco. Snapmare but JYD misses a headbutt, tag to Fuji. Chops and strikes from Fuji, JYD comes back with a scoop slam. Fuji begs for mercy, Fuji nails more chops before tagging Muraco.

Scoop slam and arm drag from Junkyard Dog, Steamboat nails Muraco from the apron. Right hands by JYD, headbutt to Muraco. Tag to Fuji, chops to the chest and throat of JYD. Tag to Muraco, Muraco tries for a piledriver but JYD back drops Muraco. Fuji gets the tag, right hand and headbutt to JYD’s lower regions. Tag to Muraco, Muraco whips JYD to the corner but misses the spear. Tag to Steamboat, chops to the chest and head of Muraco. Shot to Fuji, enzuigiri to Muraco. Steamboat catapults Muraco into Fuji, Crossbody from Steamboat. Fuji stomps Steamboat in the back, tag to Fuji. Steamboat escapes the back suplex, tag to JYD who headbutts Fuji for the win.

More fun stuff with the match centred around when Steamboat was going to get his revenge, would have liked a bit more of a struggle for the hot tag but it was well worth the wait as Steamboat had the crowd in a frenzy, The Dragon was popular with all in attendance. Fuji taking the pin-fall was predictable but this was a fun way to close the show with the babyfaces standing tall.

Winners: Team Steamboat over Team Muraco via Headbutt!

Another Saturday Night’s Main Event review finished, these shows are such a breeze to sit through and the themes to each main event have me laughing every time whether it is Halloween or the superstars down by a water park, the interviews and segments manage to make me laugh every time. The action is good too, regular championship defences from Hogan, the continued growth of the likes of Savage and Steamboat while Piper is still the biggest asshole on the planet, love it all and give me some more! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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WWE Wrestlemania 23 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomanic’s Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that would never name a battle royal after Fabulous Moolah! It’s Wrestlemania 23 time, I thought I would give the classics a rest and keep moving forward as I look through WWE from where I had last left off. So, Wrestlemania 23 is headlined by John Cena defending his WWE Championship against Shawn Michaels, HBK would been given the spotlight to shine due to Triple H’s quad injury at New Year’s Revolution. On the Smackdown side, we have The Undertaker challenging World Heavyweight Champion Batista, a clash of two titans and the two biggest stars on the blue brand. In a bit of Mania madness, we have the battle of the billionaires in Donald Trump vs Vince Mcmahon, each man choosing a superstar to battle on their behalf with the loser being shaved bald. Very rarely will a Wrestlemania let you down but it does not mean it never happens so let’s see what Wrestlemania 23 was all about!

Opening Promo

We are shown Wrestlemania through the years, fans screaming and the most famous moments like Hogan, Bret, Piper, Austin and HBK. Some of the best and biggest moments that last a lifetime, Wrestlemania is the showcase of the immortals. All Grown Up is the theme of this year, we are at the sight of Wrestlemania 3. We get the normal video package hyping up the event as Aretha Franklin sings the national anthem, you know the deal let’s just watch this madness.

(Money In The Bank Ladder Match) Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy vs Edge vs Randy Orton vs Mr. Kennedy vs King Booker vs Finlay vs CM Punk

A lot of big names in this match, a big prize is up for grabs. The winner will be able to cash in the money in the bank at anytime and possibly become a world champion. Lots of rising stars and main event players, there was a strong possibility of almost any man winning this match. It starts with people running for ladders, a lot of brawling between the huge numbers. Edge has a ladder and almost steals the win, Matt stops Edge. Thought they could have made more of those two fighting, Orton and Finlay are on the ladder. They roll to the floor and fight, Jeff and Kennedy brawl by the ladder. Booker pulls out a tiny ladder, Punk smacks everyone with the little step ladder. Punk is bleeding, Edge makes a ladder bridge between the apron and barricade.

Booker spinebusters and kicks everyone, Spinaroonie. The Hardys wipe out Booker, Side Effect on Edge. Jeff makes his ladder madness setup, Finlay saves Edge pushing Jeff to the floor. Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, Kenton Bomb misses as Matt dodges. Swanton Bomb on Kennedy, The Hardys nail Finlay and Orton with the ladder. The Hardys fight on the ladder for the briefcase, Finlay tips over The Hardys. Finlay clotheslines everyone, Edge Spears Orton and Booker, Kennedy and Matt. Add Jeff to that list, Punk ducks the spear. Punk whacks everyone with the ladder, Edge Spears Punk. Edge grabs a huge ladder, Orton stops Edge who falls to the floor. Jeff attacks Orton, sit-out suplex.

Matt places Edge across the ladder bridge, Matt wants to fuck up Edge. Jeff climbs the huge ladder and decides to leg drop Edge through the ladder. Edge is stretchered out, Orton begins nailing RKOs on everyone. Punk slams a ladder into Orton’s back, Orton and Punk stand on two different ladders. Super RKO from Orton, Super BookEnd from the ladder as Orton gets caught. Matt chases Booker, Sharmell is in the ring. Matt threatens to Twist of Fate Sharmell, Booker attempts to save Sharmell. Twist of Fate on Booker, Finlay is here. Finlay tips over Matt’s ladder, Celtic Cross on the ladder by Finlay.

Two ladders stand under the briefcase, Finlay is selling the effects of the match. Hornswoggle is here, Kennedy boots Finlay. Kennedy looks at Hornswiggle, right hand by Hornswoggle. Kennedy decides it’s time for The Green Bay Plunge on Hornswoggle, Finlay decks Kennedy with the ladder. Springboard dropkick by Punk, Finlay falls off the ladder. Kennedy and Punk brawl atop the ladder, Punk shoves off Kennedy but Kennedy decks Punk with a ladder to the face, Kennedy climbs to the top of the ladder. Kennedy wins Money In The Bank!

Fantastic match, they were perfecting the formula for this match after only two previous matches, this had many spots where everyone was allowed to shine at Wrestlemania. From Finisher barrages to high spots all around the place, everyone looked good, each spot built upon the previous spot until we had a massive collection of moments that you could look back at and say that was simply awesome. A fantastic way to open the show, the question is can anything else top this match?

Winner: Mr. Kennedy over Everyone Else via Retrieval Of The Briefcase!

Mr. Kennedy Promo

Kennedy congratulates himself, Kennedy warns every champion in the company that Kennedy is coming for them, Kennedy is Mr. Money In The Bank.

The Great Khali vs Kane

Khali had quite the bizarre year, everything was running smoothly at first with a victory over The Undertaker in dominating fashion before not being able to finish the feud between the two due to injury or being unreliable, take your pick. So, Khali comes back after doing very little in terms of significance to battle The Big Red Machine Kane. Kane had switched over to Smackdown beating the likes of MVP while teaming with his brother The Undertaker.

Khali shoves down Kane, shoulder block from Khali. Right hands by Kane, Khali pulls Kane out to the floor. Khali poses, hotshot from Kane. Kane clotheslines Khali to no effect, scoop slam by Khali. Nerve hold from Khali, stomps and chokes from Khali. Kane battles back against Khali, big corner clothesline. Kane nails his signature diving clothesline, a boot but Khali still stands. Khali is caught in the ropes though, right hands by Kane. Kane slides out looking for a hook, Khali knocks the hook out of Kane’s hand. Slugfest with Khali winning the war, Khali unhooks the top turnbuckle. Kane uses the hook on Khali’s nuts, slam from Kane. Khali kicks out at two, Kane calls for a Chokeslam. Khali retaliates, massive two-handed throat toss. Khali pins Kane with a foot on The Big Red Machine’s chest.

A good showing for The Punjabi Nightmare, Kane was reliable as always inside of the ring, Khali had an up and down year but Vince was still high on the monster. Khali looked dominant, a force to be reckoned with and that’s exactly what the doctor ordered as Kane puts over another monster with Umaga being the flavour of the month last year and Khali taking over from Umaga this year.

Winner: Great Khali over Kane via Throat Toss!

(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs MVP

MVP had been pissing off everyone on Smackdown, MVP had incurred the wrath of Kane, The Undertaker and now, The Rabid Wolverine. Benoit puts up his gold against MVP, MVP looks to impress on the big stage. Lock-up with MVP grabbing a side headlock, takedown with Benoit countering with the headscissors, MVP wriggles free into a stretch. Headlock from MVP, shoulder block from MVP. MVP blocks a German, MVP blocks the crossface. Benoit spills out to the floor, MVP says that Benoit has not got what it takes. Benoit teases a sharpshooter and crossface, MVP leaps for the ropes. Waistlock from Benoit, MVP grabs the arm and delivers a firemen’s carry. Benoit has the armbar, MVP grabs the ropes.

MVP lures in Benoit, sucker punch from the challenger. Hard Irish whip, Benoit blocks the boot, Benoit looks for the superplex. MVP blocks, smacking Benoit’s arm off the top rope. MVP works the arm with stomps, Benoit ducks a kick and locks the German suplexes. Hat-trick of suplexes, MVP crotches Benoit to avoid the headbutt. Superplex but Benoit reverses with a small package for two, MVP kicks out and works the arm. MVP hammerlocks the arm and throws Benoit to the corner, O Connor roll for two. Back suplex by the challenger, two for MVP.

MVP is getting frustrated with Benoit’s resiliency, keylock from MVP. Boot from MVP, two for the challenger. MVP tries a scoop slam, Benoit attempts the crossface but MVP smartly attacks the arm. Hammerlock slam by MVP, Ballin Elbow by MVP. Two for MVP, player’s boot misses. Two Germans, MVP blocks the third. Clothesline misses, German suplexes by Benoit. Diving Headbutt connects, Benoit gets the victory over MVP.

Talk about making the most of their time in the ring, MVP throws everything at Benoit, showing that MVP has been scouting the champion. So many counters, a strategy that took away Benoit’s two killshot submissions but the tenacity of the champion triumphs over the egotistical challenger. MVP was good, great even but Benoit was simply too much for the young hotshot for now. What could happen next time? Well, based on this match I cannot wait to see where these two go from here.

Winner: Chris Benoit over MVP via Diving Headbutt!

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Batista © vs The Undertaker

The Undertaker, The Phenom of The WWE would enter the royal rumble and win that year’s event, Undertaker has the choice of three champions and decided to do battle with The Animal. Batista had returned from his injury running through the likes of Finlay, Mr. Kennedy and King Booker before recapturing the championship that The Animal never lost. The two biggest Smackdown stars doing battle inside of the ring, the entrance from The Deadman is spectacular. It’s difficult to describe just how much Undertaker’s entrance would play into matches, Undertaker comes across as the final boss in a video game, the last cowboy in the wild, wild west. A menacing Demon, unwavering in the face of adversity, you get chills watching that slow walk and the eyes. Oh God, the eyes of a man who has one goal in mind: Destroy whatever is put in front of him.

The bell rings and Batista spears Taker hard, right hands by The Animal. Taker fires off live rounds into the face of Batista, Batista answers back. Hard Irish whip and clothesline, Taker is knocked to the floor. Taker lands on his feet, they brawl on the floor. Taker is sent crashing over the steel steps, diving shoulder block from Batista for two. More rights from the champion, boot by Taker. Clothesline by Batista for two, the champion is overwhelming The Deadman. Scoop slam, Taker blocks a boot. Rights and lefts from Taker, corner clothesline from Taker. Make it two, snake eyes and massive boot. Leg drop for two, Taker looks for old school. Old School connects, Batista refuses to take the chokeslam. Leaping clothesline from The Deadman for two, Taker knocks The Animal to the floor.

Apron leg drop connects for the challenger, Taker launches himself at Batista with a dive over the top rope, crazy athleticism from The Deadman. The two brawl on the floor with Batista sending Taker into the timekeeper’s area, right hands from Batista. Batista clears the announce table, running powerslam through the announce table, Taker has been demolished. Only two for the champion, Taker counters the Batista Bomb, backing Batista into the corner. Belly to belly suplex by Batista for two, the champions stomps the challenger in the corner. Ten punches from Batista, Taker counters for The Last Ride. 1..2.. Batista kicks out! Batista counters for a spinebuster, Taker setups. Batista is in shock, Chokeslam from Taker. 1…2.. Batista kicks out again, Batista avoids the tombstone for a spear. Batista Bomb connects, 1…2… UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT! A second powerbomb? No, Taker back drops Batista. Batista tries a powerslam, Taker shoves off Batista. Tombstone Piledriver in the middle of the ring and we have a new champion!

Exceeded all expectations, that crowd was in a frenzy by the end of the match. Two titans brawling like King Kong vs Godzilla, two monsters throwing down inside of the ring. From Batista dominating the early portions to Taker showing why you cannot kill The Deadman, an absolute war with huge bombs thrown by both men. A fantastic match, a highlight for both men. That finishing stretch was awesome, Taker has stolen the last two shows without a doubt and not one person in that arena expected such a fantastic match, it blew everyone’s mind.

Winner: The Undertaker over Batista via Tombstone Piledriver!

ECW Originals vs The New Breed

ECW gets on the card with RVD, Sabu, Sandman and Tommy Dreamer take on the punk upstarts of ECW. Elijah Burke, Kevin Thorn, Matt Striker and Marcus Cor Von. Nice to see ECW featured at Wrestlemania but an eight-man tag with these guys, does not scream amazing or fun to me. Striker and Sabu begin the match, springboard leg lariats and clotheslines from Sabu for two. Dropkick to Striker, tag to Sandman. Diving guillotine leg drop from Sandman, Cor Von saves  Striker. Tag to Burke, hiptoss from Sandman. Dreamer and Sandman double team Burke, Cor Von knees Dreamer in the back. Clothesline from Burke, double underhook suplex on Dreamer.

Tag to Burke, double backdrop. Elijah Express, two for Burke. Tag to Thorn, clothesline and reverse chinlock. Dreamer eats a sit-out spinebuster, Sabu saves Dreamer. Tag to Cor Von, stomps from The Alpha Male. Snap suplex for two, tag to Burke. Dreamer neckbreakers both Burke & Cor Von, tag to RVD. Clotheslines and spin kicks to Striker, diving thrust kick to Thorn. Super monkey flip to Striker, Rolling Thunder. Cor Von clotheslines RVD, Sabu nails a tope con hilo. Dreamer DDT on Striker, Burke knocks down Dreamer. Sandman knocks down Burke, RVD nails Striker with The Five Star Frog Splash for the win.

God Bless them, those ECW originals. Good promotion for the brand of ECW but if they wanted more attention on the brand and wanted to get as many eyes on the product as possible, I would have preferred an Extreme Rules match which would have helped massively for all those involved. To be fair, they were some nice spots, Striker made the most of his time in the ring and Cor Von was a joy to watch in TNA so maybe if given the time, Cor Von could be something to watch on ECW. A feel good moment overall, could have been helped if it was Extreme Rules!

Winners: Team ECW Originals over Team New Breed via Five Star Frog Splash!

(Battle of The Billionaires Match) Bobby Lashley W/ Donald Trump vs Umaga W/ Vince Mcmahon (Austin Special Guest Referee)

Vince had been over confident and cocky as usual, Vince had made an enemy of Donald Trump which has led us to this moment where both men have wagered their hair. Vince’s attitude and bravado came back to bite the chairman as Austin was made the special guest referee. The two titans in the match, Lashley who has had such an awkward push while Umaga has been going strong despite the loss to John Cena. Both men trade blows, rights from Lashley. Austin pulls off Lashley for a break, boot from Umaga. Umaga misses a splash, diving shoulder block for two. Estrada placed Umaga’s foot on the rope, Lashley yanks in Estrada. Running powerslam for your troubles, Umaga misses a running splash and crashes off the floor.

Right hands from Lashley, Lashley misses a spear and crashes to the outside. Umaga is in control, massive splash for two. Choke from Umaga, Austin is not happy with Umaga. More choking, Austin grabs Umaga’s hair. Lashley fights back, clothesline from Umaga. Massive hip splash from Umaga, Lashley fires back before a Samoan drop. Umaga reverses a slam for a splash, two for Umaga. Vince is on the apron, Lashley bumps into Vince. Umaga drills Lashley with a complete shot. Umaga climbs to the top rope, Lashley yanks Umaga off the top rope. Super Lariato! Umaga flips out from Lashley’s clothesline. Austin almost counts out everyone, Austin says screw that, we will have a winner.

Shane is here to look after Vince, Vince seems a bit injured after the bump. Lashley eats a throat thrust, Shane joins Vince at ringside. Umaga drills Lashley in the counter, choke hold from Umaga. Austin has Umaga again, Shane tries attacking Austin. Samoan Spike to Austin, Vince is loving it. Shane is coaching Umaga, Shane begins blasting Lashley. Lashley catches Shane, Umaga makes the save. Massive hip attack from Umaga, things are looking bleak for Lashley.

Vince hands Shane a trash can, Shane is going Coast to Coast. Beautiful just like Wrestlemania X7, Shane has a referee shirt on underneath. Vince is screwing Trump, Umaga is looking for a top rope splash. It connects, Austin pulls out Shane. Right hands to Shane, Umaga knocks down Austin again. Vince talks trash to Austin, Trump tackles Vince to the ground. Right hands by Trump, Umaga eats a Stunner and Lashley hammers Umaga with a Spear, Vince has his head shaved bald by Austin, Lashley and Trump before Austin stuns Trump.

I will say it a thousand times, Vince may be the most entertaining heel in the business, Vince and his family may dominate segments, the Invasion is a particular sore spot for many a fan but Vince would never let any WCW stars get over his WWF talent, it was doomed from the beginning. However, Vince steals the show as per usual inside of the ring, Vince’s antics and facials make The Chairman the ultimate cartoon villain inside of the ring. When it comes to an ass-kicking, Vince takes one hell of a beating. Vince is utterly humiliated and humbled at the end of this match. Fantastic entertainment for everyone who is watching. Poor Lashley though, a complete afterthought in the match and the fans are already voicing disapproval, The Lashley experiment might be going horribly wrong!

Winner: Bobby Lashley over Umaga via Spear!

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Melina © vs Ashley (Lumberjill Match)

That Playboy cover might have prolonged Ashley’s career because I cannot think of a single thing she has done beyond some lingerie like matches and one tag match with Trish. However, we have something interesting and different on the other side of things, we have Melina. Melina, the former manager of MNM, she’s here as champion. Her transformation from valet to champion is fantastic for the division which desperately needed fresh blood with the departures of Trish and Lita. They had two big mainstays in Mickie James and Melina, looking forward to seeing how they do as time goes on in the company.

So, the ring is surrounded by divas, Ashley takes down Melina and throws fists. Melina is thrown in by the Divas, roll-up for two. Melina begs for mercy, Ashley hits the middle rope hard. Foot choke from Melina, forearms by Ashley. Foot choke from Ashley, kick from Melina. Top rope choke from Melina, big swing from Melina. Two, choke from Melina. Stretch from Melina, headscissors from Ashley. Forearms by the challenger, whip to the corner. Monkey flip from Ashley, Melina dodges the elbow and Melina gets two. O Connor roll reversed by Melina for the win. Dull and dead.

Winner: Melina over Ashley via Roll-Up!

(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs Shawn Michaels

Tag team champions gone bad, John Cena has been champion since vanquishing his greatest foe in Edge while Michaels had been teaming with his best buddy Triple H. Triple H would damage his quad once more and this would lead to a gap in the plans for the main event of Wrestlemania. Up steps Mr Wrestlemania in The Heartbreak Kid, beating Randy Orton and Edge to earn this opportunity. Michaels has stolen the show at Wrestlemania countless times, many more times on pay per view. Cena has stepped it up when the pressure is on, Cena is maturing before everyone’s eyes but can the champion hang with The Show-Stopper?

Michaels calls Cena to the centre of the ring, Michaels calls for a handshake. Cena says no, Michaels slaps Cena and chops down the champion. Oh boy, and a suck it for good measure. Cena did not expect that, lock-up. Side headlock from Michaels, Cena tries a back suplex. Michaels is too quick for Cena, HBK ducks every shot from Cena. Chopped down, Cena looks to the ground looking for some sort of guidance. Michaels tells Cena that Cena is not in HBK’s league, this is big time trash talk from Mr. Wrestlemania. Shoulder thrusts from HBK, side headlock takedown from HBK. Make it two, Cena escapes and nails a massive clothesline. HBK is down in the corner, Cena stares a hole through HBK. Things have gone up another gear, shoulder block from Cena. Lou Thesz press from HBK, Cena lifts Michaels to the apron.

Hotshot from HBK, Michaels hiptosses Cena to the floor. Enzuigiri on the outside, springboard moonsault from Michaels. Chops from HBK, forearms thrown in too. Cena tries to kick away Micheals, Michaels clubs the knee. Cena sells like crazy, Michaels goes after the knee smelling blood. Cena’s knee meets the ringpost, Michaels continues to work the leg with chop blocks and knees. Michaels kicks and chops Cena, Cena looks vulnerable and helpless for the first time in quite some time. Michaels looks Cena right in the eyes, telling the champion that it is over partner. Cena begins to fight back in desperation, Michaels is knocked back by Cena. Michaels comes running back with a massive shoulder thrust, Cena is trying to beat down Michaels but Michaels goes back to the leg to counter Cena’s power.

Michaels tries a corner spear, Cena dodges clutching his knee. Michaels ran head first into the ringpost, Michaels is a bloody mess (Nothing new there!). Massive lariat and right hands by Cena, you would swear Cena is the heel as the crowd ramp up the sympathy for HBK. Cena proceeds to run and jump, what was the leg work for? Spinning side slam, Five Knuckle Shuffle. FU is avoided, Michaels flip in the corner. Michaels ducks a right hand but superkicks the referee accidently. FU is countered for a DDT, Michaels rolls out tipping over the steel steps, Michaels drags Cena to the steel steps. Michaels piledrivers Cena on the steps, fantastically brutal spot! Cena is bleeding on the back of his head, a new referee comes down to count the pin. Cena survives the piledriver, massive forearm with a kip-up from the challenger.

Elbow drop from Michaels, Cena counters sweet chin music for a clothesline. Chops from HBK, right hands from Cena. Slugfest, FU is countered for a sunset flip, two for Michaels. Cena counters a leapfrog from a massive FU, 1…2… Michaels kicks out of The FU! Cena places Michaels on the top rope, Cena wants a super FU, Michaels counters that with right hands. Forearm knocks off Cena, crossbody from Michaels is rolled through by Cena. FU is countered by Michaels who lands on his feet, drop toehold from Cena multiple times but HBK counters with kick offs and an inside cradle for two, amazing sequence! Michaels misses the enzuigiri and gets caught in The STFU, Michaels is clawing towards the ropes. Michaels makes it to the ropes. The referee pulls off Cena, Cena is livid. Sweet Chin Music on the button! Micheals crawls for the cover and it’s two for Michaels. Both men use one another to stand, FU attempt is blocked but Cena clamps on an STFU from a drop toehold. Michaels has nowhere to go and has to tap, Cena retains his championship.

Unbelievably Fantastic Match, there is little more I could say about this match. My one knock is Cena never went back to selling the knee, I would have liked to have seen a little more selling from the champion but forget about that, Shawn Michaels stole the God Damn show again. Michaels selling was phenomenal, Michaels took the ringpost to the head, bladed and made it seem like death. Michaels looked dazed and confused, it was masterful how HBK could craft sympathy around a simple spot, it was awesome Michaels had you believe that there was nobody home. You also had Michaels going after the knee, it’s a sad part when it comes to Michaels’ last run in the WWE, we only got a little bit of a heel run against Hogan because Michaels proved here how vicious, evil and darn right sadistic he could be given the chance. The knee work combined with the trash talk and the piledriver was delightful, I haven’t even gotten into all the counters and the finishing sequence. Superb wrestling match, Michaels stole the show but credit to Cena, it takes two to tango and Cena walked away from this with the best match of his career.

Winner: John Cena over Shawn Michaels via STFU!

That was WWE’s Wrestlemania 23, one great Wrestlemania looking back on all the action, the only slow parts of the night were the women’s championship match and the Khali match. Both were kept short so it’s hard to complain too much about either since you need those gaps to help pace the show. The Money in The Bank had been perfected by this stage, there were many crazy spots that had the fans wetting themselves, everyone had a moment or two where they looked good and Kennedy seemed poised for a championship run on top of either Raw or Smackdown. Mcmahon vs Trump was a spectacle that delivered like all Mcmahon matches, I don’t recall ever seeing a match featuring Mcmahon that was boring, they brought out all the stops for this match and Vince ever the entertainer was humiliated at the end of it all.

You also had two tremendous title matches in Batista and Undertaker shocking everyone with their great chemistry, Batista earned that performance at Wrestlemania, one hell of a way to show that The Animal can hang with The Phenom. Undertaker was hitting his stride when it came to Mania matches, I look forward to seeing more of the two do battle in the years that pass. Of course, we have Cena vs Michaels, Michaels was so good it’s unfair. Nobody could hold a candle to Michaels on this night, tremendous back and forth action. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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