Tuesday 4 July 2017

WWE New Year's Revolution 2005 Review

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Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that’s flatter than Seth Rollins as a babyface! We are in 2005, the wheels are turning in the head of one Vincent K. Mcmahon. John Cena and Batista are almost ready for the big time with Wrestlemania mere months away but first, we have to set up the angles for Wrestlemania. It’s New Year’s Revolution, the show is built around an Elimination Chamer Match featuring the likes of former world champions Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit, stars pushing against the glass ceiling like Edge, top stars like Randy Orton and Triple H and the future of the company in Batista. Anybody has a chance of walking away with the championship and for added fun, HBK is the referee. Will this show deliver? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

We are in Puerto Rico, loads of pretty mountains, beaches and such to contrast with the demonic structure known as The Elimination Chamber. The promo packages shows off all the competitors fighting, they hype up how brutal Elimination Chamber matches can be before we are treated to a CGI Dragon breathing fire on the logo. The technology might not have aged well but the promo is good stuff.

(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Eugene & William Regal © vs Christian & Tyson Tomko

Well, they took the belts off Benoit and Edge and the belts are now around the waist of Regal & Eugene. Eugene’s momentum had slowed a bit since the feud with Triple H (No surprise there) but they seem to be back on the right track with Eugene & Regal holding the championships. Regal and Christian start, loud Christian sucks chants. Snapmare by Regal, Christian armdrags Regal. Regal kips-up and armdrags Christian. Shoulder blocks and two counts for Regal, side headlock by Regal. Christian backs Regal into the corner, shoulder thrusts by Christian. Regal nails a hiptoss off an Irish whip, tag to Eugene. Eugene wedgies Christian, Eugene poses like Hulk Hogan. Christian boots Eugene in the ribs, side headlock by Captain Charisma. Eugene leapfrogs Christian and lures him in, Christian misses an elbow.

JYD headbutt by Eugene, Eugene mocks peeing on Christian and Captain Charisma tags out to Tomko. Tomko chokes and clubs Eugene, tag to Christian. Eugene slides out to pose with fans, Christian and Tomko give chase. Eugene crawls under the ring, Regal distracts Tomko and Eugene O Connor rolls Christian for two. Eugene spanks Christian before Tomko chokeslams Eugene. Christian takes control, tagging Tomko. Choke in the corner by Tomko, elbows to the back of the head. Running powerslam by Tomko for two, eye rake by Tomko. Tag to Christian, right hands by Christian. Eugene fires up with a back drop, in comes Regal. Shoulder blocks and a dropkick for Tomko, Tomko clotheslines Regal hard. Tomko chokes Regal, Christian stomps all over Regal.

Right hands by Christian, Regal has been opened up by Captain Charisma. Reverse chinlock by Christian, Christian taunts Eugene while Tomko busts the nose of Regal. Tag to Tomko, Tomko tosses Regal across the ring. Shoulder thrusts by Tomko, Regal knees his way out of that predicament. Regal is pushed into the ropes and Christian smashes Regal in the back. Front chancery by Tomko, Christian drops Eugene off the apron. Regal reaches for the tag but Eugene is not on the apron. Christian and Tomko put the boots to Regal, Tomko & Regal bang heads off an Irish whip.

Tomko squishes Regal in the corner, knee drop by Tomko. Tomko misses a splash, tag to Eugene. Right hands by Eugene, clothesline on Tomko. Right hands for Christian, Eugene nails a dropkick and immediately, clutches his knee. Christian and Tomko improvise for the finish, Regal is clotheslined to the floor. Eugene rolls-up Tomko for the win.

An unfortunate end to a match that I was digging a lot. The combination of Eugene and Regal are a tonne of fun, there is no way you can hate on Eugene’s infectious attitude while Regal takes a beating and makes everything look real with his hybrid European style. Best place for Tomko, I am sure Christian could be higher on the card with Tomko as his heater but the WWE seemed like they wanted Tomko in the ring and the best way to protect him is in that tag team setting. Eugene would be out for 6 months and in most ways, it would be the end of Eugen being relevant in the WWE.

Winners: Eugene & Regal over Christian & Tomko via Roll-Up!

Christian & Edge Segment

Christy Hemme walks by a pool in a leopard print bikini, so underrated young Christy Hemme was, a beautiful woman. Anyways, Edge runs into Christian, Edge talks to Christian about potentially becoming World Heavyweight Champion, Christian listens and the two walk off to talk.

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Lita © vs Trish Stratus

Following Lita’s loss of her baby, she stepped back into the ring and beat the piss out of Trish at Survivor Series. Weeks later, they would have their historic main event match with Lita vanquishing her long-time foe Trish Stratus. Trish has her rematch tonight at New Year’s Revolution, Lita almost broke her neck in that match on Raw, they told a great story in that match, it was brilliant. Lock-up, Trish shoves Lita into the corner. Lita takes down Trish, Trish is not happy with the tackle. Lita throws Trish to the floor, Lita dives off the apron and blows out her knee. Lita tries to continue the match but Lita cannot stand and one Chick Kick later, this match is over.

Heart-breaking for Lita, she had worked through that miscarriage/rape angle with Kane. All she wanted to do was wrestle and she had that historic main event with Trish and now, she was back at square one with a massive injury. Things would be a lot different when Lita would return to in-ring action, she would go onto be a great heel alongside Edge but damn, what could have been between these two. We could have had that Wrestlemania match and we were robbed off something potentially great.

Winner: Trish Stratus over Lita via Chick Kick!

(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Shelton Benjamin © vs Maven

Lock-up with Maven demanding a clean break, Maven is not happy with the fans in attendance. Maven grabs the microphone, standing on top of a chair to talk to the fans. Maven takes about 3 minutes to tell the fans shut up, Maven decides the championship is not worth it and walks to the back before realizing his mistake. Maven walks into a roll-up, Maven has been beaten instantly. Maven throws a hissy-fit, calling out Benjamin for another match. Benjamin walks back to the ring and nails Maven with a T-Bone Suplex to beat Maven a second time.

A fun segment as opposed to a match, Maven seemed to have a bit of personality on the microphone. Hope there is more stuff from heel Maven, as for Benjamin, Benjamin continues to be a big deal on the Raw brand.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin over Maven via Roll-Up/T-Bone Suplex!

Christy Hemme & Candice Michelle/Chris Benoit

Candice is rubbing the back of Christy Hemme, great stuff I would love to see more of that. We also are treated to Chris Benoit bouncing up and down in preparation for the Elimination Chamber Match.

Muhammad Hassan W/ Daivari vs Jerry Lawler W/ Jim Ross

Todd Grisham interviews Muhammad Hassan, Hassan is Arabic playing the we hate American gimmick. Lawler is the first opponent for this new superstar on the Raw brand and an odd choice in getting the man over. You mean to tell me Hassan has to have a competitive match with a semi-retired commentator? No commentary as JR is at ringside, feels strange no matter how many times I have experienced it live.

Scoop slam by Hassan, lock-up with a scoop slam by Lawler. Lawler chants fill the arena, lock-up with Hassan slamming Lawler again and again. Five slams in a row by Hassan, Lawler spills out to the floor. Lock-up, knee in the corner by Hassan. Hard Irish whip, Lawler blocks an oncoming Hassan with a boot, clothesline by Lawler. Hassan powders, Hassan is in JR’s face. Lawler eats an elbow in the ring, Hassan exposes the top turnbuckle. Small package by Lawler, two for Lawler. Hassan shoves Lawler shoulder first into the ringpost, camel clutch by Hassan. Hassan transitions into a front chancery, knee to the face by Hassan. Another camel clutch by Hassan, boot to the head for two.

Suplex by Hassan for two, cobra clutch from a seated position by Hassan. Lawler fights out with elbows, knee to the ribs by Hassan. Two for Hassan, right hands by Hassan. Lawler begins shaking off the right hands, the strap is down. Right hands by Lawler, dropkick and Lawler is on the middle rope. Fist drop by Lawler for two, Lawler DDTs Hassan hard. Daivari places Hassan’s foot on the ropes, Lawler chases after Daivari. Daivari continues running as Hassan catches Lawler with a Complete Shot for the win.

God love them but the crowd had enough by this stage in the show. They were so hot to start out but this sucked the life out of a lot of fans, boring chants throughout the match. I did enjoy Lawler’s comeback though, The King could still get the crowd on his feet but that was not going to last the whole match. And like I said earlier, what good does it do for Hassan’s career defeating Lawler, a semi-retired commentator?

Winner: Muhammad Hassan over Jerry Lawler via Complete Shot!

Batista and Orton confrontation!

Batista is about to cut a promo before Orton interrupts, Orton tells Batista that Triple H will eventually turn on him and screw him over. Orton asks if Batista is Triple H’s bitch, Batista says he is going right to the top if he has the chance and nobody will stand in his way.

Gene Snitsky vs Kane

Snitsky cost Lita her child as Snitsky walloped Kane with a chair, causing The Big Red Machine to fall on his pregnant girlfriend. Kane vowed revenge but in his first battle with Snitsky, Kane almost had his neck broken as Snitsky gave Kane the good old Pillmanizer around the throat. Kane is back and this time is intent on gaining revenge.

Snitsky pounds away at Kane, Kane explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Huge uppercuts and elbows by Kane, scoop slam and elbow drop by Kane. Huge leg drop by Kane, Kane chokes the life out of Snitsky. Uppercut by Kane, powerslam by Kane for two. Snitsky nails a huge sidewalk slam, corner clothesline by Snitsky. Snitsky rips up the safety mats around the ring, baseball slide by Kane. Knee to the ribs by Snitsky, Snitsky looks for a powerbomb but Kane back drops Snitsky on the concrete. Snitsky blocks a diving Kane with a huge big boot, Snitsky stomps all over Kane. Kane is wrapped around the ringpost, Snitsky pulls on Kane, trying to break apart Kane. Multiple stomps by Snitsky, elbow drop for two.

Bearhug by Snitsky, Kane breaks free. Huge right hands by Kane, Kane motions for a Chokeslam, Snitsky escapes for a scoop slam. Kane sits-up, Snitsky boots Kane down. Kane sits-up again and again with Snitsky booting The Big Red Machine. Kane is whipped into the steel steps, Snitsky grabs a steel chair. Kane boots Snitsky, Snitsky walks into a throat toss. Right hands by Kane, elbows, uppercuts and more. Corner clothesline and a sidewalk slam, big boot by Kane. Kane nails his diving clothesline, Snitsky elbows off Kane. Stungun by Snitsky, and a big clothesline with both men down.

Uppercut by Kane, Snitsky is caught by the throat. Both men grab one another’s throats but Kane outpowers Snitsky. Knee by Snitsky, Kane is bitten by the huge Snitsky. Kane blocks a clothesline with a big boot, Kane sits-up and calls for the end. Tombstone Piledriver by Kane and this match is over.

They worked hard and lifted a crowd that seemed dead just a couple of minutes before. Similar to Heidenreich, I have no idea where Snitsky can go after feuding with a top big man like Kane or Undertaker. You have peaked really, that’s your big money match gone mere months into your career. Anyways, Kane brought a lot of fire into the match and the fans were into it, I think they did the best they could under the circumstances.

Winner: Kane over Snitsky via Tombstone Piledriver!

Divas by The Pool

We have Stacy Keibler and Maria changing into their bikinis, Christy Hemme has oil rubbed on her again by Candice Michelle. Simon Dean is there, he pushes a fat piece of shit into the pool. We have Val Venis, Hurricane and others playing in the pool. All the women join in for the chicken fight, we have a fatal four way chicken fight, Candice and Stacy go down before we are down to Maria and Christy Hemme, Christy wins by untying Maria’s top.

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Triple H vs Batista vs Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho vs Edge vs Randy Orton (Elimination Chamber Match/Shawn Michaels is Special Referee)

The championship was vacated after a controversial decision in a world championship triple threat match, Benoit made Edge tap while Edge pinned Benoit’s shoulders to the mat. Bischoff decided to book an Elimination Chamber Match to decide who will be the champion. Batista will be the last man in the chamber, Triple H and Batista have a war of words with Triple H backing down from Batista. You know the rules: two men begin the match. At timed intervals, a new participant will enter the ring until all six men have entered the ring. Eliminations can occur through pin-fall and submission, the winner of the match will be the last man standing. Michaels enters as the referee, an injury to his knee prevented The Heartbreak Kid from competing in the match.

Benoit and Jericho begin, Benoit has Jericho in the corner. Lock-up and Jericho takes the back, Benoit wriggles free for a hammerlock. Side headlock by Jericho, Benoit sweeps his way free and we reset between the two. Lock-up, knee by Jericho. Right hands by Y2J, chop by Benoit. Clothesline by Benoit, chops by Benoit. Jericho chops back at Benoit, boot to the face by Benoit. Benoit looks for The Sharpshooter, Jericho rolls through but eats a massive German suplex. Jericho escapes a Crossface attempt, knees by Benoit. Huge chop by Benoit but Jericho catches Benoit with a flashback. Back suplex for two, Jericho climbs to the top turnbuckle. Benoit chops Jericho, superplex by Benoit.

Next entrant is Triple H, The Game pummels Benoit. Hard Irish whip by Triple H, high knee on Jericho. Another hard Irish whip for Benoit, Triple H gets a two. Jericho chops Triple H, Irish whip to the corner but The Game bounces out with a clothesline. Benoit is tossed onto the steel, Benoit is rammed face first into the steel chain wall. Benoit is bleeding as Triple H throws right hands to open the wound. Benoit meets the wall again, two for Triple H. Jericho saves Benoit from a Pedigree, right hands by Y2J. Another Pedigree attempt but Jericho back drops Triple H onto the steel. Jericho drives Triple H back first onto the steel, Jericho taunts Batista. Jericho suplexes Triple H into the ring, two for Y2J. Benoit chops down Jericho, neckbreaker by Benoit for two.

Edge is out next, Edge goes right for Jericho. Corner Spear on Jericho and Triple H, Edgecution on Triple H for two. Edge belly to belly suplexes Benoit, Edge back drops Triple H, Jericho nails Edge with a missile dropkick. Springboard dropkick by Jericho on Edge, Jericho knees Benoit in the abdomen. Edge eye rakes Jericho, Jericho is whipped into the steel chain wall. Triple H knees Edge in the face, Edge is smacked off the steel chain. Triple H tries for The Pedigree again, Edge catapults The Game into the steel chain wall. Edge scores with a diving clothesline on Benoit for two, Jericho is bleeding. Benoit has Edge in the Crossface but Edge rakes the eyes of Benoit. Low dropkick by Edge, Jericho nails Edge with a running enzuigiri, two for Jericho.

 Triple H spinebusters Jericho, two for Triple H. Benoit northern lights suplexes Edge for two, Triple H Pedigrees Jericho into oblivion. Edge big boots Benoit, Randy Orton is the next man in the match. Orton bangs Edge off the steel chain wall, crossbody on Triple H followed by a flurry of rights, stomps by Orton. Triple H is dumped to the floor, Orton rams Triple H off the walls. Powerslam by Orton, RKO on Jericho. Benoit blocks The RKO for a Crossface. Triple H gets in Orton’s face and laughs at him, Benoit suckers in Triple H for a Sharpshooter. Orton RKOs Benoit, Edge measures Orton for a Spear. Edge takes down Michaels, Edge Spears Orton but there is no referee. Edge shakes Michaels, Edge slaps Michaels which leads to Sweet Chin Music. Lionsault by Y2J and we have the first elimination.

Edge has been eliminated via Lionsault!

Benoit German suplexes Triple H three times, Benoit climbs to the top of a pod for a Diving Headbutt. Jericho has Triple H in The Walls of Jericho and Benoit clamps on The Crippler Crossface. Batista busts out of his pod to save his mentor, Batista shoulders off Jericho and Benoit. Benoit and Jericho are thrown to the floor, spinebuster on Orton. Triple H walks into Batista, the fans are screaming for Batista to kill Triple H. Orton and Benoit attack Batista, Batista double clotheslines Benoit and Orton. Jericho is military pressed into a camera man, running powerslam for Benoit. Orton is saved by Benoit who chop blocks Batista, right hands by Orton to The Animal. Jericho rolls-up Orton for two, Triple H knees Orton. Jericho bulldogs Triple H on the steel, Batista rams Benoit into the steel chain wall.

Triple H is bleeding everywhere, Batista chokes Benoit with his foot. Spinebuster on Benoit, Batista spinebusters Jericho onto Benoit, The Rabid Wolverine is eliminated. Jericho chops Batista but runs into a powerslam, Batista Bomb and Jericho is gone.

Chris Benoit has been eliminated via Spinebuster!

Chris Jericho has been eliminated via Batista Bomb!

Orton back drops Triple H on the steel, Batista is sent into the steel chain wall for good measure. Triple H catapults Orton into the wall, Orton is bleeding. Triple H sits back while Batista does the damage, Triple H slaps the shit out of Orton. Powerslam by Batista for two, Triple H spinebusters Orton for two. Clothesline by Triple H for two, Batista pummels away on Orton. Orton fires back at the two, Batista looks for The Batista Bomb on Orton. Orton low blows Batista and nails The RKO.

Batista has been eliminated via RKO!

Triple H jumps Orton from behind, Triple H tosses Orton to the floor. Orton counters The Game on the floor though, Triple H is rammed into steel chain wall multiple times. RKO by Orton, Batista clotheslines Orton while Michaels was taking out Ric Flair. Triple H Pedigrees Orton to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

That was a fantastic match, there was so much to love about it by the end. I loved the flow of the match, every time somebody entered the match, things moved up a gear. You had Michaels and Edge having issues leading to Edge’s elimination, you had Benoit’s diving headbutt, Jericho had his moments too. The drama and excitement was all over the place, it seemed every few seconds I was smiling at the computer screen or screaming oh my god. I love the hints for Batista vs Triple H, you have them almost coming to blows before the babyfaces break them up, you have Triple H not helping Batista from being eliminated and Batista is the reason that Triple H is champion, so much good stuff from this match, I enjoyed it from beginning to end.

Winner: Triple H over Randy Orton via Pedigree!

That was WWE’s New Year’s Revolution of 2005, a one match show. To be fair, a potential great match in Lita vs Trish was marred by injury, that could have been good but a lot of it was filler. The pool segments, the Maven “match” and a Hassan match that sucked the life out of the crowd do not make a good pay per view. The Elimination Chamber match delivered and then some, it had everything you could want from a wrestling match. Drama, excitement, twists and turns, it was a great match that looking back, may not get enough credit that it deserves. However, it’s the only reason to see this show so do not go out of your way to see this pay per view. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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