WWE Backlash 2009 Review!

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that continues to decline in popularity more than your favourite Youtuber from 2006! It is time for WWE’s Backlash 2009! We have a six man-tag match for the WWE Championship? Legacy will be taking on Triple H, Batista & Shane Mcmahon. We also have Edge vs John Cena for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing Match. Jeff Hardy will take on Matt Hardy in an I Quit Match and Chris Jericho will take on Ricky Steamboat! That’s not all of the card but the big matches, I have mentioned before but this was the time where I started to fall off the WWE so a lot of this era will be new to me which is both terrifying and exciting considering how many categorize this era as horrific. Let’s get it on!

 

(ECW World Haevyweight Championship) Jack Swagger © vs Christian

So what is striking me at the moment is that each show does not have their commentators for their respective brand matches, We have JR, Jerry The King Lawler and Michael Cole which is quite the team for sure, I am guessing JR would have been with Mick Foley on Smackdown? Maybe Foley is in TNA by this point. Anyways, Christian is here and everyone loves Captain Charisma, they mention a contract signing which is just wonderful to hear.

 

Swagger shoots for the legs and takes the front chancery, some nice wrestling rolls from the champion. Christian is back in the corner, clean break from Swagger but a slap rocks the champion. Christian nails a very nice spinning heel kick and a middle rope elbow for two. Side headlock from Christian, Swagger answers with a shoulder block. Make it two, military press to the floor by Swagger. Back in the ring, Swagger lands a knee and clamps on a body-scissors. More rolls with a gut-wrench like hold, Swagger does not want to let go of the waist-lock. Christian tries his corner dodge into the kick but Swagger catches the legs and smashes Christian into the mat.

 

Swagger has a great bearhug, Swagger tries pinning off the bearhug which looks cool. Swagger continues squeezing, crowd fires up for babyface Christian who lands haymakers. Swagger goes for the military press, Christian slips out but Swagger counters with a beautiful gut-buster. Another waist-lock on the mat, would like to see some variety from the big man but it fits his amateur wrestling background. Swagger whips Christian to the buckle, the dodge works for Christian this time. A knee to the ribs cuts off Christian, Swagger’s running splash misses as Christian puts up his knees. Christian cannot nail the tornado DDT but a diving sunset flip gets two, Swagger goes low and scoops up Christian for a slam.

 

Both men are feeling it now, both men are down. Gut-wrench is blocked by Christian who holds onto the legs, Swagger is persistent but has to change plan. Christian is lifted to the corner, Christian kicks away Swagger and nails his tornado DDT. Two count for Christian, Swagger lands a great belly to belly out of nowhere. Swagger gets caught and sent to the floor off an arm-drag, Christian is almost suplexed into the barricade. Elbows by Christian, Swagger is dumped into the ring. Christian is slowly climbing the top rope, back-drop by Swagger and Swagger Bomb connects for a close two. Christian slaps Swagger, Swagger looks for an Oklahoma Slam but Christian slides out for an O’Connor roll, two for Christian. Oklahoma Stampede connects for a close two.

 

Swagger is frustrated now, Swagger needs to stay composed. Swagger is exposing the turnbuckle, Christian exposes the turnbuckle on his side. Swagger runs right into the exposed turnbuckle, Killswitch and Christian is your new ECW World Heavyweight Champion!

 

Christian is often considered underrated and that is on full display here as Christian puts together a match that plays to Swagger’s strengths. Swagger gets to toss around Christian, great work on the ribs of Christian and the way they got to the big moves in the match was great, some really nice creativity from Christian. Christian never looked dominant, always playing to Swagger’s power, building all his crowd reactions from close pin-falls before a very satisfying finish with Swagger getting caught for his attempts of cheating, really great opening match.

 

Winner: Christian over Jack Swagger via Kill-Switch!

 

Ricky The Dragon Steamboat vs Chris Jericho

At Wrestlemania, Steamboat was unbelievably good. Too good for his age so WWE said fuck it let’s have him in there with Jericho again. Steamboat being Jericho’s idol adds so much to the match.

 

They lock-up and Steamboat trips Jericho, Jericho scrambles to the ropes. Jericho shoves Steamboat, Steamboat shows his speed and frustrates Jericho, baseball slide and a plancha from The Dragon. Chop by Steamboat and deep motherfucking arm-drags boy, Jericho screams out in pain. Steamboat works the arm but Jericho elbows his way out, shoulder block by Jericho. Deep arm-drag into an arm-bar from The Dragon, some joint manipulation from Steamboat. Forearms from Jericho, chop by Steamboat. Shoulder block, Steamboat skins the cat but Jericho clotheslines Steamboat to the floor. Springboard dropkick by Jericho, belly to back suplex and stiff kicks to the spine. Jericho calls Steamboat washed up, Jericho applies a modified cobra clutch.

 

Steamboat escapes but Jericho clotheslines him down, Jericho has a side headlock. Belly to back by Steamboat but Jericho holds onto the headlock, Steamboat throws forearms but Jericho sends Steamboat to the buckle. Steamboat avoids the bulldog and Jericho is caught on the top rope, Steamboat works the lower back of Jericho. Belly to back from the middle rope seems like the plan for Steamboat, Jericho fights hard but Steamboat is persistent and super belly to back suplex. Jericho is selling it like death, 1…2… Jericho kicks out at the last second. We have a slug-fest, Irish whip by Steamboat and chops for two. Steamboat runs into a corner elbow, Steamboat counters for a powerslam, two for Steamboat.

 

Chops again, Irish whip but Steamboat ducks the head. Kick to the head and an enzuigiri for two, modified bulldog. Jericho went for the lionsault but Steamboat has Jericho on his shoulders, Steamboat gets caught though as Jericho rolls through for the Walls of Jericho. Steamboat escapes the hold and applies the figure four in the ugliest manner possible. Steamboat back-drops Jericho into the ring as both men were on the apron, Jericho tries a splash and headbutts the ring-post, Diving Crossbody by Steamboat for a very close two. Irish whip to the buckle by Jericho, Steamboat kicks away Jericho. Steamboat dives into the Code-breaker, 1…2… Steamboat places his foot on the bottom rope.

 

Jericho is irate with this call, Jericho argues with the official. Jericho slaps Steamboat, back-breaker is countered for a small package for two. Jericho trips up Steamboat in the middle of the ring and Steamboat has to tap this time around, Jericho refuses to break the hold to add emphasis to his point.

 

Considering Steamboat’s age, this is a very good match. Jericho is obviously a huge fan of Steamboat so you know Jericho is going to bump like crazy but this is not a one-sided affair, Steamboat uses all his expertise in this one and the near-falls are tremendous throughout the match. Love the crossbody and the small packages, fantastic send-off for The Dragon. Jericho was able to take a terrible angle and have a fantastic match with Steamboat.

 

Winner: Chris Jericho over Ricky Steamboat via Walls of Jericho!

 

Kane vs CM Punk

Kane holds grudges, Kane does not like CM Punk. Punk uses his speed to pepper Kane with kicks, Kane shakes that off. Punk cannot escape this time, knees and throat thrusts by Kane. Irish whip to the buckle, Punk attacks Kane with his knees. Minoro Suzuki style arm-bar spot by Punk, Punk drops his knees on the arm. Forearms by Punk, Kane shoves away Punk. Punk lands a dropkick, Punk tries a plancha but Kane grabs Punk by the neck. Punk uses the ropes to avoid being slammed and lands an apron diving clothesline, key-lock from Punk. Kane sends Punk into the ring-post, Kane dropkicks Punk into the ring-post. Punk is shoved into the ring-post, Kane slaps on a body-scissors. Punk uses elbows to escape the hold but Kane drills Punk with a clothesline, Kane lands a kick and a throat thrust before a back-breaker stretch. Punk escapes the hold again, Punk is looking to take away Kane’s chokeslam arm. Punk does his variation of the tarantula spot, Punk lands a springboard clothesline. Kane avoids the running knee/bulldog combo with a massive boot to the face.

 

Punk stops Kane from flying with a massive kick, Punk uses the ropes to pick up Kane. Kane fights out of the GTS, Punk lands his running knee/bulldog combination for a close two. Punk’s springboard goes wrong as Kane lands a massive uppercut, two for Kane. Punk avoids the sidewalk slam and goes for a tilt-a-whirl Fujiwara arm-bar but Kane lands a massive sidewalk slam counter. Punk avoids a chokeslam with big kicks, muay thai like strikes but Kane counters it and drills Punk with a Chokeslam for the win.

 

Interesting to see the crowd be indifferent to Punk, Punk had a similar reaction at Wrestlemania so the heel turn that we all know is coming is definitely a welcome one. Having Kane win on the other hand I am not sure it helps at all, Punk as a delusional babyface might have been better than having the Money In The Bank winner lose right after Mania but you know Vince loves beating the champion like a drum after winning the big one. Anyways, I don’t think they have any sort of plan for Kane so it just strikes me as an odd choice. Their chemistry is not great either, some cool moments but the fans are sitting on their hands for most of it, I felt much the same way.

 

Winner: Kane over CM Punk via Chokeslam!

 

(I Quit Match) Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy

Matt defeated Jeff, Matt wants to erase Jeff from the WWE. Considering it has been implied that Matt tried to burn down Jeff’s house with Jeff inside of it, you can only go down from there.

 

The bell rings and both men are tentative, Jeff goes to work with massive right hands and stomps the life out of Matt. Jeff brings Matt to the corner, more stomps with Matt trying to get away. Jeff drops the leg-drop low and hits a low dropkick to his face. Matt scrambles to the floor, slingshot dropkick and plancha. Poetry in Motion against the barricade by Jeff, hot-shot by Jeff. Corner clothesline by Jeff, Hardy’s corner dropkick by The Charismatic Enigma. Leg-drop after leg-drop by Jeff but Matt refuses to quit, sleeper from Jeff. Matt has had no offence in this one at all, Matt is carrying all the weight of Jeff on his back but Matt manages to bounce Jeff’s head off the turnbuckle. Matt drops an elbow, forearms to the head.

 

Jeff wants a whisper in the wind but Matt manages to shove Jeff to the floor, Jeff sells his ankle from the fall. Fans are chanting for tables, this is not good. Matt begins working the ankle, Jeff’s right leg is sent into the ring-post again and again. Matt is looking for a figure four, Matt applies the figure four in the middle of the ring. Jeff does not give up but Matt continues kicking the leg of Jeff, another figure four from Matt. Jeff pushes and pushes, reversing the pressure. Matt rolls back and breaks the hold, some guy is wiped out by security or something as the fans do not care about the action in the ring at all. Jeff misses his mule kick and Matt applies a single leg Boston crab. Jeff refuses to submit, Matt places Jeff on the top rope. Jeff is placed in the tree of woe but refuses to submit so Matt wants a belly to back superplex, Jeff elbows away Matt and nails a Whisper In The Wind.

 

Both men are swinging wildly, Jeff lands his mule kick. Texas Cloverleaf from Jeff, shocking to see such a move from Jeff. Matt’s tapping but Matt will not say I Quit, Matt uses the ropes to shove off Jeff. Matt avoids the Twist of Fate but gets a leg-drop to the back of the head, Twist of Fate by Jeff. Jeff begins climbing high, Swanton Bomb connects. Jeff climbs high again, second Swanton Bomb. Jeff decides to pull out a table, the crowd are happy to see mister table. Matt is rolling around the ring, Matt rolls to the floor to avoid his fate of being put through the table. Matt almost landed a Twist of Fate but Jeff counters and drills Matt with his own Twist of Fate.

 

Matt is thrown in the ring and placed on the table, Matt is lying prone on the table not moving. Jeff decides to pull out some duct-tape, Jeff is tying Matt to the table. Matt has now been tied to the table, unable to move. Jeff has pulled out a ladder, it is not a twenty-foot ladder but a regular ladder. However, it is a nice callback to the missed leg-drop at Wrestlemania 25. Matt is begging but not saying I Quit, Matt tries appealing to Jeff’s emotions but Jeff does not want to hear that shit. Matt brings their mother into it, scumbag move from Matt. Matt quits, Jeff Hardy wins but Jeff decides to Leg-Drop Matt through the table.

 

I think the fans never wanted to see The Hardys fight one another, I think that is the fundamental problem of this feud, fans just wanted to see The Hardys together and Jeff get the bigger push. As for this match itself, the fans reaction throughout reflect this sentiment, it’s hard to believe they could be this quiet for a Jeff Hardy match considering Jeff was one of the most over people on the roster mere months ago. The leg-work was interesting from Jeff but this was just Jeff killing Matt for the last couple of minutes and Jeff is just not that great on offence, Jeff does not have killer moves in his arsenal. It’s the high-risk spots, the hope-spots that make Jeff Hardy so great. Jeff Hardy being in control and pulling off submissions is just not the Jeff Hardy people want to see. A Jeff Hardy I Quit match sounds like a dream match where Jeff would be putting his body through all sorts of shit to get the win but this really was a tame effort.

 

Winner: Jeff Hardy over Matt Hardy via I Quit!

 

(WWE Championship Six-Man Tag Match) Triple H ©/Batista/Shane Mcmahon vs Legacy

Batista is back! Batista had beaten Orton at Armageddon 2008 which was a huge match as it was the first time they had fought on PPV since both men’s dominant runs on their respective brands. The deck is stacked against Triple H and I have no idea how considering Randy Orton has zero leverage against The Mcmahons. The big problem on the babyface team is that they all want to kill Orton so can they co-exist and not get disqualified.

 

A strength of the match is that Batista, Shane and Triple H all have valid reasons for wanting to destroy Orton, another part that I should mention considering it kind of has flown under the radar is that Ted Dibiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes at their young ages have been a huge part of storylines on RAW. This is the first time we will see them in a big match on PPV together though, they worked well in a Rumble but that match was one of the worst rumbles I watched so who knows.

 

Triple H dives on Orton to begin, Shane & Batista hold off Dibiase & Rhodes. Triple H chases away Orton, Legacy are not happy with this change. Maybe they want to win the championship? Why are they risking being counted out? Batista and Rhodes start, Batista clotheslines and sends Rhodes into the corner, Cole states that if Rhodes or Dibiase win, Orton is champion? Excuse me? Whatever, Batista boots down Rhodes. Tag to Shane, Demolition Decapitation by Shane & Batista. Continued elbow drops by Shane, Shane works the arm and tag to Triple H. Triple H stomps the life out of Rhodes, hard Irish whip to the opposite buckle. Suck it by Triple H and another stomp, Rhodes manages to kick Triple H and tag Dibiase.

 

Dibiase eats a clothesline by Triple H, Shane & Triple H nail a Hart Attack. Shane throws elbows to the spine, tag to Batista. Batista ducks and lands a massive suplex, Batista gets caught though. Not for long, Batista lands a flying shoulder block. Spine-buster on Dibiase, Dibiase avoids the bomb. Dibiase and Batista are up the ramp, Rhodes distracts the referee. Here comes Orton and Batista is sent into the ring-post, Orton gets the hot-tag sort of I guess. Orton stomps the life out of Batista, Batista is isolated in Legacy’s corner. Orton & Dibiase choke the life out of Batista, Rhodes tags in Orton. Orton lands that rope-hung DDT with Triple H showing worry on his face, Triple H has been in this situation before with The Mcmahons at King of The Ring 2000. Tag to Dibiase, elbow drops from Dibiase. Batista fights in the corner but a drop toehold from Dibiase stops that attack, side headlock by Dibiase. Belly to back suplex counter by Batista, Orton gets the tag. Orton stands over Batista and begins stomping the ribs of The Animal. Knee across the face by Orton, reverse chin-lock by Orton. Elbows by Batista, Orton is whipped across the ropes and eats a Spear.

 

Rhodes comes in but Shane gets the tag, right hands from Mcmahon. Shane elbows Dibiase down, neck-breaker on Rhodes for two. Dibiase is with Shane, Shane takes down Rhodes & Dibiase. Shane is on the top rope, Diving Elbow Drop by Shane. Dibiase pulls out Shane, Orton is here and sends Shane over the steel steps. Orton gets the tag and pulls Shane onto the apron, suplex into the ring for two. Shane scrambles for a tag but Orton cuts that off, kicks to the ribs. Orton drags Shane to the corner, Dibiase comes in and nails a boot to the ribs. Shane is kicked to the floor, Dibiase comes to the floor and slams Shane off the ring apron. Two in the ring, Dibiase tags in Rhodes.

 

Rhodes gets a two, more kicks to the ribs. Shane fights back from his ribs, Rhodes holds Shane in a full-nelson. Orton measures and lands a boot to the ribs, standing dropkick by Orton. Two for Orton, tag to Dibiase. The ring has been cut in half well here by Legacy, really good tag team strategy. Diving foot stomp on Shane for two, reverse chin-lock. Shane fights back but Dibiase cuts off Shane again, tag to Rhodes. Rhodes kicks the head of Shane, nice knee-drop. Two for Rhodes, front chancery. Shane manages to back-drop Rhodes, Dibiase cuts off Shane again with an elbow drop. Fist Drop by Dibiase, Million Dollar Dream is countered with a DDT.

 

Crowd can feel it is time for that hot-tag! Triple H gets the tag, right hands to Orton. Shot after shot in the corner, Irish whip but the champion fires back with a clothesline. Face-buster, Dibiase and Rhodes tossed to the floor. Orton boots Triple H, spine-buster for two as Dibiase makes the save. In comes Batista who decks Dibiase, Batista is sent into the barricade. Triple H wants a Pedigree, Rhodes spikes Triple H with a DDT. Shane crossbodies Rhodes to the floor, Shane clotheslines Rhodes into the timekeeper’s area. Rhodes has a chair though damn it, Shane does not see it. Shane is waffled into the crowd, Batista is smacked with the chair too. Batista kicks Rhodes low, Orton’s RKO is blocked. Batista has the chair, Triple H stops his Pedigree to stop Batista using the chair. Triple H walks into an RKO, 1…2.. Triple H kicks out but one Punt Kick later, it’s over!

 

Well they botched the finish but that is not Orton’s fault, timekeeper messed up on this one. An interesting finish with Triple H trying to stop Batista making a mistake and Batista costing Triple H. I don’t have any memory of this time so the idea of Batista vs Triple H occurring is not something I think would happen at this time. Perhaps Triple H will be taking time off with The Punt Kick being the reason for that? The finish also reminds me that we could have just don’t this for Wrestlemania, why would Triple H need to hang on for one extra month? They do the stretcher gimmick so I am guessing Batista will want to avenge Triple H and be the big dumb babyface that keeps coming up short which is what Batista was to Edge and Booker T on Smackdown. Such a shame for Batista, the match here itself was not that great. The tag team work from Legacy was solid but it didn’t live up to the hype and when the crowd is cheering Orton and singing nah nah nah hey hey goodbye when a babyface is injured, we have made a mistake somewhere along the line.

 

Winners: Legacy over Team Triple H via Punt Kick!

 

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Last Man Standing Match) John Cena © vs Edge

The idea of Cena on Smackdown is insane, it did not last very long but still the fact there was a period in 2009 where Cena was on the blue brand is pure madness. Video package does a great job of showcasing how much Edge hates John Cena. Cena is coming in hurt as Edge played a little con-chair-to on his head on Monday Night Raw, the bell rings with both men staring one another down. Intense lock-up which is good to see, Edge swings and misses. Cena whips Edge to the buckle, Edge avoids the bulldog. Edge is on the floor, Cena gives chase. Edge wanted a spear, Cena teased an AA. Both men are feeling one another out.

 

Side headlock by Edge, Cena shoves him off. Shoulder block by Edge who clubs down Cena. Irish whip reversed to the buckle, Cena lands a massive fisherman suplex on Edge. AA tease with Edge nailing an Edge-O-Matic. Cena sells his head, Edge is watching on and lands a vicious clothesline. Make it two, Edge seems surprised that Cena is popping up. The referee starts counting, Cena makes it up around the count of six. Cena fights back, Irish whip reversed by Edge and a beautiful spinning heel kick. Cena is up, flapjack by Edge. Sleeper by Edge, Cena scrambles to the ropes but Edge does not have to break the hold. Cena begins fading before backing Edge into the corner, Cena lets go briefly and clamps the hold back on with tenacity.

 

Cena fires back, shoulder blocks and a five knuckle shuffle is on the menu. Edge kicks Cena square in the head, sharpshooter from the challenger. Cena does not tap but struggles to get on his feet, Edge knocks Cena off the apron and onto the announce table. Cena makes it up at the count of seven, Edge starts messing with the steel steps. Edge takes a run-up, Cena dodges and Edge Spears the steel steps. Edge survives the ten count and sends Cena into the steel steps. Cena has enough in him again to rise before the ten count, Cena whips Edge into the steel steps this time. Edge makes the count, Cena decides to bring the steel steps into the ring. Cena manages to lift the steel steps into the ring but eats a big boot to the face.

 

Edge smashes the steel steps into Cena’s head, running dropkick with the steel steps kicked right into John Cena. Cena clutches his shoulder, I think the intent was his neck due to the con-chair-to but I am not sure Edge is really playing into that gameplan. Cena is against the ropes, Edge runs at Cena and is elevated to the floor. Cena picks up the steel steps, Edge is on the floor. Cena lawn-darts the steel steps at the head of Edge, Edge is wiped out at ringside. Back into the ring, Cena looks worn out already. Edge and Cena are trading bombs, both men are using the other to standup before both men collapse in the middle of the ring. Both men make the count around eight, Cena has Edge but both men counter one another. Third time is the charm? No it’s Edge who drills Cena with a belly to back suplex, Edge hates Cena so much that Edge is going to do a five-knuckle-shuffle. Edge tries it and Cena responds with a vicious STF. Edge survives the count, AA is blocked as Edge holds onto the ropes and Edge delivers a sickening Spear onto Cena. Edge is climbing to the top rope, Cena pulls himself up and looks for something big here. Cena has Edge on his shoulders, Super AA from Cena in the middle of the ring. Edge is moving, unbelievable from Edge. Motivated by pure hatred? Cena cannot believe it as Edge crawls towards Cena. Cena goes high, his top rope leg drop does not work as Edge Spears Cena in mid-air!

 

Edge clears the announce table, Edge wants to do something bad here. Cena avoids an impaler DDT and Cena AAs Edge into the crowd. Great spot that nobody would have predicted, all the plants did a great job of catching Edge’s body. Edge makes it up at nine, Edge will not be denied on this night. Edge and Cena are in the crowd among the fans, the cameras do their best to keep up with the madness. Edge & Cena go from one part of the arena to the next, Cena continues punching Edge. Bulldog onto the equipment by the stage, Edge is crushed at the moment, Cena has a tired look on his face. Edge survives and cracks Cena with a hard-hat, Edge nails Cena with an Impaler DDT on the stage. Edge is in shock, Edge looks backstage for something. Edge waffles Cena in the back, con-chair-to from Edge. Cena is up at the count of nine, Cena lifts up Edge for an AA but Big Show interferes and grabs Cena. Chokeslam through a stage light! It exploded and Edge makes the ten count while Cena does not move!

 

A brutal brawl between two men who hate one another, they waste no time in throwing out massive spots, Edge trying to choke out Cena was a great little moment because you could see how much Edge utterly hates Cena. Some big bumps here, the mid-air Spear and Super AA were huge spots, also the AA into the crowd came off great. They brawled everywhere and you could feel the hatred that the two had for one another, fantastic stuff here really. The finish is a shock and a perfect way to protect your golden goose with Edge not being able to put down Cena. A readymade feud with Big Show for Cena to continue with when he’s good and healthy again which is great. Sadly, the hot potato of the championship continues and it really hurts me here because Edge has done this throughout the years at this point. Edge took down Taker’s reign, Triple H’s reign as WWE Champion, Jeff Hardy’s reign and Cena’s previous reign. That’s three or four reigns with diminishing returns as things would just end up back with Edge. How am I meant to buy into Edge losing the championship and it meaning something when it continuously makes it way back to him before I even get to appreciate it leaving him?

 

Winner: Edge over John Cena via Survival of Ten-Count!

 

That was WWE’s Backlash 2009, a very solid PPV coming out of Wrestlemania. Could things be better? Of course they could but there are some positive developments here when we take a step back from this PPV, also some bad ones of course so let’s break it down. We kick things off with Christian vs Swagger, Christian leads Swagger to his best match on PPV and best match by this point. Night and day between this and the rumble match with Matt Hardy, Christian lets Swagger dominate throughout with various power moves and cool looking throws, Christian has flickers of hope and it all builds to a satisfying finish. Considering Christian was TNA World Champion, ECW was a disappointment for many but having someone like Christian as the top babyface is great for those on the roster because Christian will continue to make them shine throughout the year. Very good opening match, things take a turn with Punk vs Kane. Chemistry is just not great between the two, Punk’s offence is hit and miss while the crowd don’t seem too heavily invested in Mr. Money in The Bank. Kane is over like always but the good matches have been gone for a long time by this point, nothing to keep me invested here and like I mentioned, the trope of the money in the bank winner instantly becoming the biggest loser on the roster was never a good one in my book.

 

Steamboat vs Jericho is fun, Steamboat rolls back the years and gives a performance that shouldn’t be possible at his age. Jericho puts in the work too to make this a very exciting match, it is an extended version of their Wrestlemania match and we all wanted Steamboat to squeeze out the victory here. The Hardys I Quit Match is a step-down from The Mania match, the fans just do not want to see them fight and Jeff’s offence has always been one of his weaknesses so long sections of Jeff torturing Matt seem to just drag on and while the emotional manipulation from Matt is cool towards the end, it’s not going to save this match for me. Jeff actually seemed to be quite lenient for a guy who lost his dog and almost his life thanks to his brother. Not a great feud for someone who seemed to be on par with John Cena in terms of reaction from the audience only a few months ago. The six man tag for the WWE Championship corrects the wrong of Wrestlemania and adds an interesting element into the mix with Batista being the reason Triple H lost the championship. I don’t think it will be played into too much as Triple H was basically a babyface for the next two years but it adds to the probably Batista vs Orton feud. As for the action, Orton was getting a very strong response from the crowd and Legacy as a unit are a great watch because they just hammer everyone in their way. Again sympathy for the all-destroying and conquering Game is a difficult task especially when the crowd feels the wrong man won last year so the injury angle is not coming off great here, hoping Big Dave can get some good reactions. The main event is a good brawl between two men with very good chemistry, some awesome spots mixed in with some pretty great facials. Not a fan of the championship moving around so much but we have a good feud for Cena ready with Big Show and hopefully, we can have Jeff Hardy back on track against Edge. Another easy pay per view to watch, would love to have the tag team championships and other mid-card championships be featured but we are fresh off Mania so only the biggest matches will be getting time. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

WWE No Way Out 2009 Review!

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more of a rip-off than that Vanilla Midget Ricky Starks! It’s time for WWE No Way Out 2009! The big feuds on this one include JBL vs Shawn Michaels, HBK’s freedom is on the line as Shawn Michaels must win and if HBK does not win, JBL will own Shawn Michaels for the rest of his career. We also have Shane Mcmahon vs Randy Orton, Shane Mcmahon returned to avenge his father who was put in the hospital by The Viper. We also have two massive Elimination Chamber matches with both brand’s championships being defended with John Cena and Edge having terrible odds heading into this night. A small card for sure but some big names up and down the card, looking forward to seeing how this one plays out!

 

(WWE World Championship Match) Edge © vs Triple H vs The Undertaker vs Jeff Hardy vs The Big Show vs Vladimir Kozlov

Big match here to kick us off, thought they would not have Jeff Hardy in here to protect the former champion from another big loss especially with Big Show, Taker and Triple H in there, all people who we could see beaten Jeff Hardy. Edge comes in to start with Hardy, Hardy lands neckbreakers and clotheslines. Edge is rattled before a reversal leads to a big boot, loud Hardy chants in the arena. Two off the boot, Edge crossbodies the back of Hardy for another two. Measured right hands by Edge, whip to the opposite buckle but Hardy answers with a head-scissors, inverted atomic drop followed by a leg drop and a low dropkick. Twist of Fate and Edgecution are countered before Hardy lands the Twist of Fate. Edge dodges the Swanton Bomb, Edge measures for The Spear. Hardy counters for a small package, 1…2…3! Edge is irate, Edge cannot believe it. We are going to have a new champion again, Edge’s return has gone from bad to worse. Unthinkable considering how Edge was protected constantly in the main event scene, Edge is in pure shock and has to leave the chamber.

 

Kozlov is the first out of the chamber, not good for Hardy. Big boot by Kozlov, shoulder thrusts in the corner, clubbing forearms. Hardy lands a knee to the head, dropkick to the knee. Hardy tries a middle rope crossbody but Kozlov lands a massive headbutt, Hardy is tossed into the cage wall. Hardy eats headbutts and knees by The Moscow Mauler. Huge kick to the ribs, fallaway slam by Kozlov for two. Back-breaker by Kozlov for two, Hardy fights back and lands a jaw-breaker followed by a massive slingshot dropkick. Kozlov eats a Whisper In The Wind, we will have a new entrant. Big Show is our next entrant, not looking good for Hardy.

 

Show lands a gut punch and tosses Hardy across the ring, Show steps on Hardy. Headbutt from Show, Kozlov headbutts Hardy. Knees by Kozlov, little bit of friendly competition between Kozlov & Show, Show is going to show his power with a big slam on Hardy. Kozlov is game to answer, Hardy begins fighting both men before a headbutt by Show brings down Hardy. Kozlov headbutts down Show, the two monsters are brawling now. These intervals between wrestlers is super long I feel, Show wants a suplex on Kozlov. Show misses a corner splash, Kozlov lands shoulder thrusts before Show lands a clothesline on Kozlov. Triple H comes out next, face-buster on Show. High knee on Kozlov, Show is whipped to the buckle but reverses, Show misses a splash. Triple H spine-busters Show, Hardy is clotheslined down by Triple H.

 

Kozlov is low-bridged to the steel floor, Show lands a sidewalk slam on Triple H. Kozlov is going after Hardy, Taker wants to punch the head off of Show but Taker must wait until the buzzer goes off to enter the ring. Triple H escapes a Chokeslam but eats a gorilla press slam, Hardy and Triple H begin working together. Show is on the steel floor, Kozlov eats a double suplex. Whisper In The Wind on Triple H, Taker is coming into the ring. Taker explodes on Show, rights and lefts. Same treatment for Kozlov, Snake-Eyes and a big boot. Corner clotheslines, flying clothesline on Show.

 

Taker is going Old School on Triple H, Taker dives off onto Show. Show wants a Chokeslam counter but Show eats a DDT on the steel floor. Taker nails Old School on Triple H this time, big boot on Hardy. Out of nowhere, Kozlov lands a massive headbutt and shoulder thrusts on Taker, ten punches in the corner by Kozlov. Taker counters for The Last Ride, goodbye Kozlov!

 

Show is staggering to his feet, Chokeslam on Taker. Triple H wants a pedigree on Show but Show back-drops Triple H onto the steel floor, Hardy is up now. Show military slams Hardy onto Triple H, Triple H does a terrible job of catching Hardy. Show tries shoving Hardy into the cage, Hardy climbs the cage but gets crotched on top of the pod. Show is climbing to the top, Taker is hammering away at Show. Huge battle on the top rope, superplex from Taker. Triple H staggers to his feet and Pedigrees Show, Hardy shows signs of life and decides it's time for a Swanton Bomb. Big Show has been Eliminated!

 

Three heavy-hitters left in this match, Hardy misses a Whisper In The Wind. Triple H lands right hands on Taker, Taker reverses that and pummels Triple H. Whip to the buckle with Triple H tumbling to the steel, Old School on Hardy doesn’t connect as Triple H crotched Taker on the top rope. Hardy lands Poetry in Motion using Taker as a base but Taker picks up Hardy through the ropes and lands a Tombstone for the elimination, Jeff Hardy’s dream will not be fulfilled again on this night.

 

Taker vs Triple H, this could go either way. Taker is looking a little worse than Triple H, big boot by Taker. Taker lands a headbutt and a measured straight before missing a big boot in the corner, Taker tastes the steel. In the ring, Triple H tries a double axe handle but Taker lands a Chokeslam for a close two, Irish whip to the buckle. Triple H boots Taker, Taker lands Snake-Eyes but Triple H answers with a spine-buster. Two for Triple H, we are on the floor again. Taker catapults Triple H into the chain wall, Taker wants a tombstone, both men tease tombstones before Taker lands a massive tombstone. Triple H places his foot on the rope to survive, Taker walks into a Pedigree. 1….2…. Taker kicks out of The Pedigree!

 

Both men are trading punches in the corner, Taker naturally wins that war but Triple H gives back to some huge right hands. Taker is whipped to the buckle, Triple H goes for ten punches. Taker looks for the Last Ride but Triple H learns from Wrestlemania X7 and slips out for a Pedigree! Game Over!

 

I will acknowledge the finish as a callback to Wrestlemania X7, it’s just a very interesting choice heading into Mania, the WWE Championship is going to switch shows, I have no idea when but I have no memory of Cena wrestling extensively on Smackdown so I can’t imagine it lasted long but to have Triple H as the face of Smackdown for many months and then go back to Triple H so soon after Edge coming back and Hardy winning the championship feels strange to me, did Triple H need the championship to justify fighting Orton? Considering Orton would take out Triple H’s father-in-law and brother-in-law, I don’t think it was necessary but then again, where would they have gone with Edge? Would they be bold enough to do Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy for the championship? Never so it is really interesting to see how things are working out, I still don’t think Jeff should have been in the match but as far as the action goes, it’s really strong once Taker hits the ring. Big shots, awesome sequences and finisher-reversals galore.

 

Winner: Triple H via Pedigree!

 

(No Holds Barred Match) Shane Mcmahon vs Randy Orton

Orton kicked the head off of Vince Mcmahon, Orton had backed WWE in the corner by claiming that he had a mental illness and WWE would be sued into oblivion for this mistake. Shane wants to avenge his father and is promising to make sure Orton does not make it to Wrestlemania.

 

Shane pops Orton in the mouth, I imagine Shane didn’t pull his punches so Orton will be honestly kicking Shane as hard as he can when the time comes, Shane uses his jabs to frustrate Orton. These jabs got worse over the years, Orton kicks low and punches the shit out of Shane. Shane lands right and lefts, Orton is being knocked around the ring, Shane sends Orton to the floor. Baseball slide, Shane brings out the toys. A table and a trash can, Orton lands his back-breaker and sends Shane back first into the ring-apron. Kicks to the ribs, belly to back suplex by Orton. Orton exposes the turnbuckle, Shane meets it hard. Boot to the chest by Orton, Shane rolls to the floor and comes back with a kendo stick, Shane beats Orton all across the back. Orton is waffled in the head with the announce monitor, Orton is bleeding from his head. Orton is limp and placed on the table, Shane is thinking of diving through the table. However, here comes Legacy! Shane is beaten in the corner, Cody has grabbed a steel chair. Cody cracks Dibiase by mistake and Shane DDTs Cody on the chair, of course nobody would help Shane because its not necessary. Shane can beat everyone by himself, Orton is a proper bloody mess. Cody Rhodes is in the corner with a trash can in his face, Shane is going Coast to Coast! Cody Rhodes is taken out! Shane is thinking of diving to the announcer table too, Shane‘s back is destroyed but here comes Shane, Shane crashes and burns as Orton moves out of the way.

 

Shane is in horrible pain, Shane has somehow made it to the apron. Orton walks over to Shane, Orton grabs Shane and snaps him with a DDT across the ropes. Shane kicks out of the DDT, Orton grabs the table. Orton wants a superplex from the top rope, beautifully executed from The Viper. Shane kicks out at two, Orton decides to smash Shane’s head into the table-frame, Garvin Stomp time, massive knee-drop to the throat. Two for Orton, Orton measures for The Punt Kick. Shane counters with a spear, Shane grabs a chair and cracks Orton across the back, a second shot to the ankle. Third shot to the ankle, fourth shot to the other foot. Orton is begging for mercy, Shane measures and measures. Final shot to the head, Shane wants to punt Orton but Orton suckered Shane in for an RKO and it’s over!

 

Typical Mcmahon Affair here, you get wildly entertaining moments that make up for the lack of athleticism or co-ordination that they possess but the match also goes too long and the mcmahons always coming out a little too strong. This is on full display here with Shane as you get table bumps, two actually a Coast To Coast and multiple weapon shots to cover up Shane’s lack of attack. This was very good, very entertaining but once Shane hit The Coast To Coast and missed the table elbow, Orton should have annihilated him. Orton should have hit the DDT and punted Shane’s head off or nailed an RKO. Instead we have Shane surviving a table suplex, a DDT and more and even countering the punt, overkill on here to keep Shane strong with a mistake leading to his pin-fall. But they run the company so what are you going to do right?

 

Winner: Randy Orton over Shane Mcmahon via RKO!

 

(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Jack Swagger © vs Finlay W/ Hornswoggle

Oh I do not have a good feeling about that, Swagger looked exposed against Matt Hardy and Finlay is a veteran, rough old bastard and I just do not know if this will work out. They also have the issue of trying to have a match when Christian has returned and everyone wants to see Christian. Things start out with Finlay beating the piss out of Swagger’s leg, leg-locks and stomps etc before Swagger kicks Finlay into the ring-post. Hammerlock with knees by Swagger, Swagger continues working the arm with a variation of the cross-arm-breaker. Finlay breaks free of the arm-work before Swagger sends Finlay to the corner, Finlay is down in the corner. What is going on here? I think they messed up the spot big time, referee is out of position on a pin which fucks up their false-finish spot. Swagger clubs Finlay in the corner, Finlay shoves off Swagger. Boot to the head, uppercut by the challenger. Short-arm clothesline, middle rope crossbody for two. Clotheslines by Finlay and a hip drop for two, shoulder in the corner. Hornswoggle distracts Finlay, Finlay is shoved into Hornswoggle. Swagger latches on and lands his Gut-Wrench Powerbomb for the win!

 

Oh boy this died an awful death in front of the fans, they didn’t give a damn about this match. Not even Finlay’s stiffest shots to the face of Swagger could generate any reaction from the crowd. Seems they are teasing something between Finlay & Hornswoggle too, guess that would soon lead to the death of Hornswoggle’s career but yeah, I didn’t give a damn about this match and neither did the fans.

 

Winner: Jack Swagger over Finlay via Gut-Wrench Powerbomb!

 

JBL vs Shawn Michaels

Shawn Michaels went broke and needed money, JBL offered his money. The deal was Michaels would make JBL World Champion, it would not happen as HBK sunk to depths that he never wanted to sink to in his career. HBK would risk it all in this match, his career could be owned by JBL if JBL wins this match.

 

Lock-up with JBL showing his strength, JBL talks shit to HBK’s face. One mistake is all I need says JBL, lock-up again with same result before Michaels clubs the shite out of JBL who scrambles to the floor. Michaels tries quick covers but JBL is too strong, shoulder block by JBL and a massive elbow drop for two, HBK slips out of a scoop slam and chops block the leg. Figure Four Leg-Lock by HBK, crossface by HBK. JBL slips out and uses his power to crush HBK, elbow drops over and over. HBK kicks out at two, HBK cannot gain momentum as JBL applies a bearhug. Michaels is throwing bombs, JBL cannot hold onto the submission. Chops by Michaels, JBL reverses the Irish whip but lowers his head and pays for it with a neck-breaker.

 

Inverted atomic drop and chops, chops in the corner. JBL whips Michaels to the corner, Michaels does his flip from the buckle. JBL places Michaels on the top rope, Michaels is fighting back. Michaels is fighting back, elbow floors JBL. Michaels wants his Elbow Drop, it misses as JBL dodges it at the last second. Clothesline From Hell, 1…..2… HBK kicks out! JBL lands a second Clothesline From Hell, JBL stares directly at Rebecca, Michael’s wife after this move. JBL is going to try and win by count-out, Rebecca has her head in her hands. Michaels survives the count, making it into the ring at nine. Michaels is tossed to the floor, JBL is talking trash to Rebecca.

 

Rebecca slaps JBL, Michaels fires up after seeing this. JBL reverses an Irish whip but eats a flying forearm, Lou Thesz Press by HBK. Scoop slam, HBK is climbing high! HBK Elbow Drop finds the mark, Michaels is going nuts. Tuning up the band, Sweet Chin Music and its over!

 

An emotional angle for sure but I thought it was not what I am use to when it comes to my HBK, Michaels always delivers in the ring but I thought this was more on the average side from a man who always delivers in the ring. Maybe HBK thought JBL wasn’t worth his best efforts or could it be that HBK was declining in that ring? Not something I want to think about but yeah considering the time invested, it just felt flat to me.

 

Winner: Shawn Michaels over JBL via Sweet Chin Music!

 

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match) John Cena © vs Chris Jericho vs Mike Knox vs Kane vs Rey Mysterio vs Edge

Mike Knox the main-eventer? Unbelievable how could it go wrong from here? The other big shock here is that poor Kofi Kingston never makes it to the match as Edge assaults Kofi on the way to the ring and takes his spot in the chamber. I don’t think this was ever followed up on sadly, this also robs us of potentially great high-spots from Kofi who sure as shit would have dived off everything. Jericho and Mysterio to start, great way to kick us off. Side headlock by Jericho, Mysterio uses knees to break out. Shoulder block by Jericho, Mysterio monkey-flips Jericho. Jericho reverses an Irish whip, head-scissors by Mysterio but Jericho rolls to the steel floor to avoid the 619. Tope con hilo by Mysterio, Mysterio clotheslines Jericho into the ring. Jericho tweaks his knee and sells it well, Mysterio is landing ten punches in the corner.

 

Mysterio is sent head-first into the pod as Jericho dodges a corner spear, big reaction from the crowd on that one. Jericho lands a beautiful suplex, two for Jericho. Jericho slaps on a reverse chin-lock, Mysterio fights out but Jericho elevates Mysterio to the floor. Jericho wants a catapult, Mysterio lands on the cage and drops down for a great hurricanrana. Seated springboard senton for two, bulldog from Mysterio and we are going to have our next entrant and it is Kane! Big boot by Kane to Mysterio, throat thrust for Jericho and Kane stares down Edge. Sidewlak slam on Mysterio for two, throat thrust and right hands on Jericho. Snap-mare into a low dropkick by Kane for two, Jericho goes for the leg of Kane. Shoulder thrusts by Jericho, Kane lands his vicious rights once more. Clothesline to the steel floor, Jericho’s knee is smashed into the steel. Mysterio attacks Kane, clubbing blows again and again. Mysterio lands a baseball slide, Kane clotheslines Mysterio down and re-enters the ring. Mysterio dodges a corner boot, titl-a-whirl neck-breaker by Mysterio.

 

Kane dodges a Lionsault from Jericho and lands a right hand, Mysterio drop toe-holds both men, Kane wants a Chokeslam on Mysterio but Mysterio counters with a hurricanrana and lands a 619. Codebreaker on Kane, Mysterio hurricanranas Jericho to the floor. Mysterio is on top of the pod and a massive seated senton takes out The Big Red Machine! Kane is the first eliminated by a huge move from Mysterio, great spot!

 

Mysterio is struggling to stand though, this was a huge spot and maybe it was too much of a risk. Knox is the next man in the ring, Knox is up against it in this match. The only man who feels like he does not belong, Knox clubs Mysterio and lands a big boot on Jericho. Corner clothesline on Mysterio, scoop slam on Jericho. Brody-like knee-drop on Jericho for two, Knox chokes Mysterio under the bottom rope. Jericho is beaten down by Knox, Jericho elevates Knox on the steel floor. Knox catches Jericho who tried a springboard crossbody and Knox launches Jericho into the chain wall. Mysterio jumps onto Knox, Knox slams Mysterio into the chain wall. Crushing Mysterio against the wall, Mysterio is caught in the tree of woe using the chain wall. Mysterio is looking like an MVP of this one already, Knox smashes Jericho off of Cena’s pod.

 

Knox clubs down on Mysterio in the ring, Mysterio dodges through the legs and looks for big leg-kicks. Knox lands a back-breaker and is ready for his finish but Jericho comes out of nowhere with a Codebreaker and that’s it for Knox, not an ideal showing for the big man. Guessing that experiment is very much over, the clock ticks down once more. Will it be Edge or Cena? It’s Edge, Mysterio attacks Edge the second the pod opens, Mysterio is showing huge fire. Edge is tossed in the ring, springboard crossbody and a kick to the ribs. Mysterio is on fire, Jericho saves Edge with a clothesline. Belly to back suplex by Jericho, Edge goes after Jericho. These two are brawling now, face-buster by Jericho. Lionsault misses as Mysterio blocks with the knees and Edge goes for the Edge O Matic on Jericho for a close two. Edge whips Mysterio to the buckle hard, Cena watches on as Edge plans a spear. Mysterio leaps over Edge, Edge uses the ropes to block a Codebreaker, Mysterio trips Edge for the 619 but Jericho spears Mysterio to stop the 619.

 

Jericho is climbing high, Mysterio is on the top rope with Jericho. Edge clubs Mysterio, tower of doom sunset flip powerbomb by Jericho. Edge is up first and Jericho is tossed to the floor, hard on the steel. Edge knows who is next, Cena wants Edge badly. Cena comes in and lands shoulder blocks and clotheslines, belly to belly suplex on Edge. Fisherman suplex and face-buster, Jericho is on the floor. Cena lands a belly to back suplex on Edge, Five-Knuckle-Shuffle time! FU is blocked as Jericho lands a Codebreaker, Mysterio lands a 619 and Edge lands a Spear and Cena has been eliminated! The fans are in shock, Jericho and Edge are in shock and the fans too. There will be another new champion tonight!

 

Mysterio is an underdog here with the two Canadians looking to destroy the high-flyer, Jericho and Edge are in position for a 619. Jericho is waffled in the face, Edge dodges but meets the ring-post courtesy of Mysterio. Jericho counters a springboard senton for the walls but Mysterio reverses the hold for a roll-up, Mysterio has eliminated Jericho! Edge measures Mysterio, Mysterio does not know Edge is waiting for him. Edge has a sadistic look on his face, Mysterio dodges and rolls-up Edge for a close two. Springboard crossbody for two, sunset flip by Edge goes wrong as Mysterio rolls through and kicks Edge square in the head. Forearms by Mysterio, springboard moonsault is stopped by Edge but Mysterio counters again for a DDT. Edge boots Mysterio down hard, massive big boot to the head. Edge wants a powerbomb on the floor but Mysterio counters with a face-buster, Edge is placed on the rope. 619 to the back of the head, Edge reverses and cracks Mysterio’s head off the pod! Mysterio can barely stand and Edge measures, a massive Spear and Edge is your new WWE World Heavyweight Champion!

 

Got to love that WWE Logic of Edge just joining the Chamber match but this was great, Mysterio is the MVP of this one. Crazy spots from Mysterio who showed incredible fire and creativity. From the senton off the top of the pod, the dropping hurricanrana, the various false-finishes with Edge it was just magic. Mysterio showing that if they want to go that route, it is 100% viable as Mysterio is still one of the most popular babyfaces on the roster. Cena’s elimination was treated like a big deal and rightly so, not a soul thought Cena would be eliminated and definitely nobody thought that Cena would be taken out so early into the match. Great drama here and a great end to the night!

 

Winner: Edge via Spear!

 

That was WWE’s No Way Out 2008, a solid PPV from WWE. It’s very hard to knock a show with two Chamber matches and I can’t really find a way to bring them down on that. We kick things off with the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match, very interesting start with Edge being eliminated, big names galore in this one but I still feel that a Hardy loss in a big match like this was not the right call. Taker and Triple H have a very exciting preview of their match that will take place at WM27, good false-finishes that keep the fans on the edge of their seat and a possible callback to Wrestlemania X7 in the finish leaves me very satisfied when it comes to this Chamber Match.

 

Mcmahon vs Orton is interesting but goes on for a little too long, Shane gives you entertainment and all the bells and whistles to make sure you aren’t thinking this is boring but after a Coast to Coast and an announcer table bump, I didn’t need to see a Shane comeback, would have been find with Orton punting him into oblivion and calling it a day. Entertaining brawl for sure with big enough spots to keep you engaged but gets tedious towards the end. The ECW Championship was not horrible but it was out there to die a horrible death and it certainly achieved just that, not buying into Swagger as a face of the brand. I think it is clearly a case of too much too soon and I believe that they must be hoping that Christian can help Swagger grow into a fully-fleshed out top heel because I haven’t seen it in two PPVs.

 

JBL vs Michaels is a great angle, the match cannot hold a candle to it. HBK steals every show that he is on, you can see me raving plenty of times about his selling and timing, the way he can carry a mediocre show but this was not the HBK I know and love, not even close. Never really got going, JBL was going to get his head taken off and that was it, not worth paying to see. Finally, the second Chamber match is very entertaining, the only real low point being Knox’s run in the Chamber, Knox was slow and looked out of his league in there and the Codebreaker finish tells you everything you need to know about him. Mysterio shines the brightest here, huge reactions throughout for various spots and an ending that pulls on your heart and makes you so furious that they didn’t put the championship on Mysterio. An amazing start and finish to the show with some boring parts in between, seek out the two Chamber matches. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

WWF Wrestlemania XIV Review!

 

Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that looks more barren than the roster to choose from in WWE 2K22! It’s WWF Wrestlemania XIV, this is a big one because this means I have watched every WWF PPV from Wrestlemania 1 to Wrestlemani 14! A significant run for sure and because I have previously covered ECW, The Attitude Era and onwards to roughly the end of 2008 as well as WCW The Start of The NOW until The End, it means it is time for a new series on this blog. That new series? I am going back in time to cover WCW from the first Starrcade until the beginning of The New World Order. Excited to jump on that train but let’s stay focused, we are here to witness the beginning of a new era as Shawn Michaels defends his WWF Championship against The Texas Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin’s popularity skyrocketed following his feud with Bret Hart, Austin would become even more popular following his injury at the hands of Owen Hart and it would culminate in this moment: a chance to become WWF Champion. We also have Undertaker battling his little brother Kane, Kane tried to destroy The Deadman and Undertaker was reluctant to battle his own flesh and blood but now, Taker sees no other choice and his brother must be destroyed! We also have Luna vs Sable, The Rock against Ken Shamrock and Triple H taking on Owen Hart so plenty of big matches on paper but will they deliver on this night? Let’s find out!

 

Number One’s Contender Tag Team Battle Royal Match

 

Tag teams of the WWF battle to become the number one contenders for the championships, let’s run down some of the competitors for this match. The Nation represented by Kama & Faarooq, The Headbangers, The New Midnight Express, Boricuas, Godwinns, D’Lo & Mark also represent The Nation but none of that matters because we have a mystery team and it’s LOD. LOD had been taken out by D-Generation X with Hawk’s iconic haircut being shaved off but LOD are here with a new attitude and a new look, we finally have something for Sunny to do too which would be great considering how good of a mouthpiece she can be but as a babyface manager?

 

Everyone piles into the ring, you have a lot of what I hated about 1996/1997 WWF in that ring like The Godwinns, Boricuas and D.O.A. Some odd ones too with Steve Blackman in there and Flash Funk. Lots of clubbing going on in the ring, Sniper & Recon from The Truth Commission are in this? What? Kurgan is eliminated? I couldn’t even see him in there, Sunny and Cornette are talking shit to one another which is interesting considering how well they know one another. Barry Windham continues his feud with Bradshaw by throwing out Chainz, the partner of Bradshaw.

 

You keeping up with this? Because it’s a mess and a million miles per hour, Heel Rock N Roll Express will never get old to me, who could have though that was a good idea? Lots of pairing off, Thrasher has been dumped out. Mark Henry is still in the ring despite D’Lo being dumped out minutes ago so you can see it’s one of those train-wrecks. We have four teams, LOD, The New Midnight Express, D.O.A and The Godwinns. Henry Godwinn clubs out 8-Ball, Phineas gets thrown out by Skull so both teams end up leaving. Phineas and Henry have slop buckets and The Legion of Doom have been cracked in the head with the buckets. The New Midnight Express feel victory coming, double elbow to Hawk. Hawk hangs on and fights off Bart and Bob, Animal clotheslines on The Express. Powerslam on Bart, boot on Bob. Double clothesline and The Legion of Doom are going to Unforgiven.

 

An average battle royal, lots of brawling and pairing off in corners, little drama until the double slop buckets to the heads, could have been a lot better but could have been worse. At least the fans love LOD so that’s a positive, right team won but you already know how this works out so it’s clear the WWF had no idea what to do with one of the hottest tag teams of all-time!

 

Winners: LOD over Everyone Else via Survival!

 

(WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match) Taka Michinoku © vs Aguila

 

A tough spot for Taka to be in, hopefully Taka can get these people on their feet. Taka is no stranger to the Mexican style so Aguila and Taka should work fine together. Arm-drags and headscissors to kick us off, spinning heel kick from Aguila. Baseball slide from Aguila, moonsault from Aguila. Aguila taunts the crowd after a beautiful moonsault, Taka is on the apron. Taka lands on his feet and dropkicks Aguila, springboard splash from Taka. Aguila takes a breather, Irish whip and flying forearm. Kicks from Taka, Taka is on the apron and lands a beautiful dropkick. Snap-mare with a dropkick to the back of the head and one to the face for good measure, Aguila back-drops Taka to the floor. Taka stops the dive, Aguila lands a springboard arm-drag, make it two. Beautiful wrist-lock arm-drag, corkscrew plancha from Aguila.

 

Taka is on the apron, springboard tornillo misses but Aguila lands a moonsault for two. Open palm slap from Taka, Taka climbs high. Bit of a miss communication with Aguila stopping a crossbody with his knees before landing a springboard hurricanrana. Aguila is whipped to the buckle, knee to the face from Taka. Missile dropkick, Michinoku Driver is countered as Aguila slides out but eats a powerbomb. Taka misses a moonsault, La Magistral for two. Aguila tries a crossbody, dropkick counter from Taka and one Michinoku Driver later, the champion has retained.

 

A fun high-flying contest between two men who would have to do damn-near kill one another to elicit a reaction from the fans as there is just no respect there for the level of work and talent that the athletes possess. However, don’t feel bad for Taka as Taka had quite the career in Japan and still continues to wrestle to this very day. Regardless, there are some nice spots mixed in here but it’s not the crowd’s cup of tea.

 

Winner: Taka Michinoku over Aguila via Michinoku Driver!

 

(WWF European Championship Match) Triple H © W/ Chyna vs Owen Hart

 

The Black Hart wanted to wipe out D-Generation X for what they did to his brother Bret, Bulldog and Neidhart. These two have battled as HBK was on a collision course with Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen had a lot of momentum but it seems to have fizzled a little bit come Wrestlemania time. The added stipulation to this match is Chyna is handcuffed to Commissioner Slaughter. Worth nothing that Slaughter vs Helmsley was arguably the worst match I have seen in quite some time, I don’t think Owen should have shaved his beard as the crazed look of The Black Hart worked way better for the gimmick.

 

Owen comes down and pummels Helmsley, rights and lefts with a big back body-drop, ten punches in the corner. Hurricanrana for two, Helmsley is yet to have got started. Helmsley lands an elbow to the face, Helmsley kicks Owen to the floor. Chyna tries hitting Owen but Slaughter stops that action. Owen batters Helmsley, Sharpshooter attempt but Helmsley goes for the eyes. Owen kicks back at Helmsley, face-buster from Helmsley with a big clothesline for added measure. Chops in the corner, stomps too from Helmsley. High running knee from Helmsley for two, knee drop from Helmsley. Owen begins battling back, kicks too. Helmsley boots Owen, DDT from the champion for two. Helmsley wakes up and starts working the ankle which was in a cast two weeks before this match. Elbows and wrenching holds from the champion, the challenger is in serious trouble.

 

Owen starts fighting back, shoulder thrusts from Owen. Owen trips up Helmsley and meets the ring-post groin-first. Chyna is irate as Owen lands a missile dropkick for two. Spinning heel kick for two, enzuigiri from Owen who hurts his foot waffling Helmsley. Two for Owen, Helmsley counters the hurricanrana for a powerbomb, two for the champion. Helmsley does not connect with the superplex, diving crossbody from Owen for two. Pedigree is blocked, Sharpshooter is blocked too with Owen bouncing off the turnbuckle and headbutting Helmsley down there. Two for Owen, Chyna continues to threaten Slaughter, Pedigree is blocked again. Owen rolls through the sunset flip, Sharpshooter from The Black Hart. Chyna helps Helmsley reach the ropes, Owen begins pummelling the champion, the referee has to pull back Owen. Chyna throws powder in the eyes of Slaughter, Chyna low-blows Owen and Helmsley lands The Pedigree to steal the win.

 

Solid match between these two, a return to form for Helmsley who initially won me over upon entering the company back in 1995, Helmsley obviously grew leaps and bounds in his feud with Mankind but as Michael’s sidekick, I think Helmsley has stopped flourishing but a big change is coming ladies and gentlemen, as much as Helmsley is meant to be heel, the fans are cheering for Helmsley. I feel for Owen, The Black Hart gimmick had legs and a feud with the champion even if Owen lost, could have been something but it simply did not go that way.

 

Winner: Hunter Hearst Helmsley over Owen Hart via Pedigree!

 

Marc Mero & Sable vs Goldust & Luna

 

We have a promo package for this match of all matches, Sable continues to grow in popularity, Mero was a piece of shit to Sable but they are partners against Goldust & Luna so we shall see how this goes, I can only imagine what will be coming my way. Goldust and Mero to start, head-scissors and clothesline from Mero. Luna is tagged in, Mero says to the crowd “Do you want Sable?” Luna powders and we have a chase around the ring, Luna tags in Goldust. Goldust jumps Mero, back body-drop from Mero. Tag to Sable who kicks Goldust square in the head, Luna seems resistance to mix it up. Mero starts throwing his jabs and straights to the ribs, whip to the opposite buckle with Goldust landing a boot and a massive clothesline.

 

Snake eyes onto the top rope, Goldust chokes Mero using the middle rope. Both men collide with Mero landing a crossbody for two, Goldust drops down for an uppercut, both men bang heads and are down. Sable and Luna are in, Sable takes down Luna and lands forearms on the crazy one. Sable kicks Luna in the corner and head, snap-mare and a shot to Goldust. Clothesline to the floor, tag to Goldust. Goldust is sent into the steel steps, slingshot splash is stopped by knees. Mero low-blows Goldust, TKO is blocked into a DDT from The Bizarre One. 1…2. Mero kicks out barely. Goldust kicks Mero into the corner, Mero counters the curtain call and lands his knee-lift. Marvelocity? Turnaround moonsault for two, Goldust elbows Mero. Mero crotches Goldust, super hurricanrana for two. Luna kicks Mero, Mero thinks about hitting Luna but Goldust runs into Luna by mistake. Schoolboy by Mero for two, TKO connects on Goldust with Luna making the save. Sable is in but the referee is not paying attention, Luna dives onto Sable by mistake. Sablebomb for two,  Luna rakes the eyes.

 

Luna chokes Sable on the middle rope, knees to the back from Luna. The second time though, Sable manages to move out of the way but Sable cannot gain control. Luna lands shoulder thrusts, Sable counters the Irish whip and delivers a TKO for the win!

 

Herculean performance from Luna to make Sable look decent inside of that ring, I don’t think it could have worked out any better for all involved during this contest, this was quite the victory for the WWF as a whole. Mero would be gone by the end of next year after feuding with his wife while Sable would follow suite in early 1999 as did Goldust while Luna struggled away for respect during an era where it was more about how you looked than how you wrestled. Fair-play to all involved on this night, the fans got what they wanted.

 

Winners: Marc Mero & Sable over Goldust & Luna via TKO!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) The Rock © W/ The Nation vs Ken Shamrock

 

No Faarooq in sight, building the tension between Rock and Faarooq for the leadership of The Nation. Ken Shamrock is red-hot as he has been since I would say Summerslam 1997 where we saw Shamrock truly snap for the first time. Shamrock has beaten Rock on numerous occasions but the slimy champion continues to hold onto the championship somehow. Shamrock runs down to the ring, right hands and a clothesline to the floor after a big kick from Shamrock. If Rock gets disqualified, he will lose the championship. Shamrock chases Rock up the ramp, Rock is bounced off the guardrail. Eye poke from Rock, Shamrock sends Rock into the ring steps. Shamrock lands two clotheslines in the ring, side-kick and right hands from Shamrock.

 

Rock pulls Shamrock to the floor and into the steel steps, scoop slam and People’s Elbow for two. Shamrock fights back with big rights, Shamrock sends Rock to the floor. Shamrock has a chair, Shamrock shoves down the referee so Rock uses the chair and waffles Shamrock in the face but Shamrock manages to kick out, Shamrock is irate after being cracked in the head. Elbow from Shamrock, calf, kick from Shamrock and a powerslam for two. Belly to belly suplex from Shamrock, Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring and Rock taps, Shamrock belly to belly suplexes all Nation members and continues torturing Rock which leads to the referee reversing the decision. Faarooq watches Rock scream in pain as the referee reverses the decision.

 

Not sure why they didn’t want to pull the trigger on Shamrock as champion, maybe The World’s Most Dangerous Man didn’t need it but boy was Shamrock fun to watch when he was allowed to murder people, another brief contest between Shamrock and Rock coming out victorious. I am happy to see the conclusion of the feud with Shamrock finally winning the championship but that never happened sadly, Shamrock would capture the gold after HHH vacated the championship but a lot had changed by that time and while Shamrock was always taken care of when in the WWF, I can’t help but think this was the time to give the championship to Shamrock while Rock went off to sort his problems with Faarooq.

 

Winner: The Rock over Ken Shamrock via Referee’s Reversal Decision!

 

(WWF Tag Team Championship Dumpster Match) The New Age Outlaws © vs Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie

 

The Outlaws shoved the challengers off the Raw stage in a dumpster where they suffered horrific injuries which leads us to this match between the two, the challengers start hot, peppering the champions with punches and knees before Billy hot-shots Chainsaw. Road Dogg fights away from Cactus, baking tray to the head from Road Dogg. Billy saves his partner with a baseball slide, Billy has a busted nose as Chainsaw meets the guardrail. Chainsaw is placed in the dumpster, Russian leg-sweep into the dumpster on Cactus. Chainsaw fights his way out of the dumpster, both challengers have their heads smashed with the lids of the dumpster. Cactus and Chainsaw are dumped in, Mandible Claw on both Outlaws, this match is not over. Chainsaw comes out with a baking tray and waffles Billy.

 

Chainsaw cracks Billy again, Cactus Jack elbow drop to the floor. DDT on a baking tray by Chainsaw, Cactus pulls out a ladder. Cactus begins climbing the ladder, Billy low-blows Chainsaw. Road Dogg smashes Chainsaw who tips over the ladder that has Cactus and Billy on it, they fall into the dumpster. Chainsaw is powerbombed into the dumpster, Cactus is by the stage. They battle to the backstage area, Cactus is attacked with some trays and throw into some giant soda cans. Cactus grabs a chair and smacks Road Dogg in the head and Billy eats a Double Arm DDT on a forklift. The Outlaws are dumped into the dumpster with Cactus closing the lids. The match is over!

 

Didn’t know it could be any dumpster? Silly you but yeah an interesting brawl for sure, could have been worse. Didn’t overstay its welcome, lots of weapons, lots of smoke and mirrors which added to my enjoyment of the match, some nasty bumps too. Not much else to say about this one, Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie gain their revenge for the dumpster attack, things could not have ended on a happier note.

 

Winners: Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie over The New Age Outlaws via Closing The Dumpster!

 

Kane W/ Paul Bearer vs The Undertaker

 

Kane is alive! Words burned into my memory due to that memorable promo from Paul Bearer, Undertaker was manipulated by Paul Bearer due to this dark secret, Undertaker called Bearer’s bluff and those words were spoken. Taker doubted this could be true, his little brother could not have survived what happened to Taker’s parents. Undertaker continued his war with HBK, culminating in The Hell in A Cell match, Taker had battered HBK and before the final blow could be dealt, the arena went dark and Kane emerged for the first time, tombstoning his brother and allowing Shawn Michaels to win the match. Taker refused to do battle with his brother, he would not fight his own flesh and blood so things continued as before with Taker battling Shawn Michaels. Michaels would attack Taker but Kane would rescue his brother, it seemed that Kane and Taker would work together after all but Kane would turn on his brother at The Royal Rumble, locking his brother in a casket and setting it ablaze. Taker survived and decided enough was enough which leads us to this moment, two brothers, two monsters, two of the most dominating forces in the WWF doing battle.

 

They go nose to nose, staring one another down. Taker hammers Kane who hardly wobbles, boots and knees by Taker with Kane continuing to stand his ground. Elbow from Kane, Taker stomps away on Kane but Kane sends Taker to the corner. Taker elbows away Kane but Kane lands a short clothesline, more brawling from Taker. Kane misses a clothesline but sends Taker to the tree of woe, stomps from The Big Red Machine. Hard Irish whips from Kane, corner clothesline from Kane. Uppercuts and knees from Kane, Taker is draped across the top rope. Kane climbs high and comes down with his clothesline, more uppercuts and right hands and a corner choke from Kane. Taker eats an electric chair drop, Kane has the steel steps and drives them into the back of the head of Taker. Kane grabs the steps again and drives them into the ribs of The Deadman. Paul Bearer gets in a number of stomps on Taker, Kane has Taker on the apron. Suplex into the ring from Kane, Kane continues brawling. Taker comes back with a clothesline, Taker ducks two clotheslines but runs into a Chokeslam from Kane. 1…2.. Kane pulls up Taker by the hair, Kane wants to punish Undertaker. Kane applies a reverse chin-lock, Taker fights back with rights and lefts but Taker is floored by a clothesline, elbow drop from Kane. Taker manages to drop Kane to the floor, boot by Taker. Taker tries a suicide dive but Kane sidesteps and drops Taker through the announce table. Kane smacks Taker with the leftovers of the table.

 

Kane is on the top rope, diving clothesline from The Big Red Machine for two. Kane batters Taker but The Deadman is not staying down, more brawling with Taker winning the war. Taker catches Kane but Kane Slips out, Tombstone Piledriver but Undertaker manages to kick out! Seconds later, Taker is on his feet brawling with Kane. Rights and lefts from Taker, clothesline by The Phenom. Taker lands a massive Chokeslam! Tombstone Piledriver! 1…2.. Kane manages to kick out! Leg drop from Taker, Kane is up again. Second Tombstone Piledriver, 1….2… Kane kicks out again! Taker climbs high, diving clothesline from The Deadman but Kane is up again.  A 3^rd Tombstone Piledriver, 1…..2….3!

 

Quite the entertaining match for the beginning of a rivalry that would come to symbolize/dominate both of their careers. Kane is allowed to dominate and Taker is shown to be vulnerable, Taker has not been this vulnerable since the match with Diesel, two years before this match. Kane gets his heat back at the end too by Tombstoning Taker onto a steel chair, Taker was able to overcome his stronger brother through strategy and determination, Taker’s will to survive is on full display here and that sound when Kane survives that first tombstone is insane, you could feel the shock ripple through the arena. A war befitting of the feud, great story-telling that had been building since early 1997 culminating in a great match and a new star in Kane.

 

Winner: The Undertaker over Kane via Tombstone Piledriver!

 

(WWF Championship Match) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels © W/ D-Generation X

 

Stone Cold Steve Austin had won the Royal Rumble, we have been waiting months for this moment, people have wanted Austin and that championship for months and we are mere minutes away from that reality. Iron Mike Tyson is the special guest enforcer for this match, in his D-X gear because in the run-up to Wrestlemania, Mike Tyson had been unveiled as a member of D-Generation X. HBK had it all figured out, HBK had his posse and had Mike Tyson in his back pocket so what could go wrong? Said it before and said it again, Shawn Michaels was a God during 1997 and I am deeply saddened we did not get to enjoy HBK in 1998.

 

Austin misses as HBK nails a big jab to the eye, Michaels continues to talk-trash as Michaels is too quick for The Rattlesnake. HBK’s body language is fantastic to start off, Austin nails a Polish hammer and starts whooping Michaels, Michaels is kicked around the ring with his ass hanging out, Austin back-drops Michaels onto Helmsley, Helmsley jumps Austin with the referee seemingly powerless? The referee does not want to throw out the WWF Championship match, Helmsley and Chyna have been ejected as Michaels starts pummelling Austin. Austin jumps Helmsley who was walking away, HBK nails a massive clothesline. HBK drills Austin with a drum cymbal, Austin meets the dumpster from earlier. Michaels is on the top rope, Austin stops the axe handle. Michaels does his corner bump, it does not go well and Austin lands an inverted atomic drop for two.

 

Austin works the arm, eye-rake from Michaels. Stun-gun from Austin for two, Michaels dodges the stunner but Austin clotheslines HBK off the apron and onto the announce table. Michaels meets the steel steps, Austin lands a massive elbow across the throat. Austin slaps on the reverse chin-lock, this is a curious one. Jaw-breaker from Michaels, Austin sends Michaels into the ring-post using his legs. Michaels meets the guardrail but HBK back-drops Austin into the crowd. Michaels can take control now, left jabs from Michaels. Snap-mare and mounted punches from Michaels.

 

Stomp the groin, Michaels flips off the crowd which leads to Austin taking down Michaels, Michaels is hurled to the floor by the challenger. Michaels trips up Austin and wraps that knee around the ring-post. Again and again, Austin meets the ring-post. Michaels continues stomping away at the knee of Austin, Austin clutches his leg in pain. Austin avoids a figure four and kicks HBK into the ring-post, schoolboy for two. Michaels goes back to the knees, baseball slide from Michaels. Austin is distracted by Tyson, chop block from Michaels. Figure four from HBK, HBK uses the ropes for leverage. Austin reverses the hold, reversing the pressure but Michaels reaches the ropes quickly. Right hands by Austin, catapult into the buckle and a roll-up for two. Sleeper from HBK, Austin is beginning to fade.

 

Austin backs into the corner with Michaels, crushing the referee in the process. Austin stun-guns Michaels again, right hands from Austin. HBK bounces off every buckle, stomps from Austin. Back body-drop, Austin gets hit with a flying forearm. Michaels delivers a massive elbow drop to the heart of Austin, Michaels calls for the end. Austin ducks Sweet Chin Music, Michaels blocks and shoves off Austin but Austin catches the foot and drills HBK with The Stone Cold Stunner with Mike Tyson sliding in and counting the pin. Irate by the betrayal, Michaels confronts Tyson which does not end well as Tyson decks HBK.

 

As good as it could have been, it was clear as day that something was off with HBK as this match began, Michaels is grimacing throughout the entire match and while his body language is terrific, this is not the Shawn Michaels we know and love who can deliver a show-stealing performance with ease. HBK and Austin do their best to deliver an unforgettable performance but I think the match is best summed up by Tyson’s three count: Too fast that doesn’t let you enjoy the moment, close but not what we needed. However, we have what we always wanted, the Austin Era can begin and there are a lot of challengers awaiting The Rattlesnake and what a journey it would be!

 

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin over Shawn Michaels via Stone Cold Stunner!

 

That was WWF Wrestlemania XIV, a Wrestlemania that continues the trend started in 1997 which followed into 1998 which was the cards were getting better and the bigger matches were doing what they needed to do. What I hated most about WWF in this era is on full-display in the first match, tag teams like Godwinns, Truth Commission, and number of acts that weren’t interesting inside of that ring. The Light Heavyweight Championship match is fun but the fans don’t care, the division was never going to rival what WCW had which was a shame for the talent busting their asses in the ring. HHH vs Owen delivers like HHH had been since I first saw him in the company, more fleshed out and more confident, HHH had grown so much in his feud with Mankind and it seems that this was a return to form since not having much to do in the past months as HBK’s sidekick. Rock vs Shamrock was odd to me, the reversed decision was never going to go down well considering we had a screwy finish at The Rumble so why not pay off the angle here? Baffling from the WWF like repackaging LOD and continuing to do nothing with them! Undertaker vs Kane delivers, the angle is fantastic and the match is two big monsters attacking one another and I was invested in it, Taker can be hit and miss, I have expressed that many times but on this night, it was a good night for The Deadman and in the main event, they did their best with what they could do, I don’t think I have ever watched a match where I knew just how much pain a performer was in, I have seen injuries and people try to work through pain only to stop but never like this, Michaels takes that first bump and his body fails him like his bones were suddenly made of glass, it must have been horrific but Michaels did what he had to do, he crowned the new king and his name was Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 

So this wraps up looking at the WWF through 1985 to 1998, what a journey it has been, I have tasted the highs of the Golden Era, watched story-telling and matches unfold that had me screaming up and down, we moved into The New Generation Era that had lows which I would call the lowest of lows but when things were good, they were really good and finally, the transition to The Attitude Era which also had its fair share of bad matches and acts but some amazing highs, I think wrestling will always be a mix of highs and lows and while I wanted to tear my hair out on some of these reviews, I am glad that I stuck with it and finished what I want to accomplish. Now into new territory, I know the big angles and the big feuds and have a fair idea of how things go but I have never seen the majority of it but that changes with our next reviews as I deep dive into WCW from 1983 to 1996, 13 years of PPVs where legends come and go and the company grows. From Crockett to Jim Herd to Bill Watts to everyone in between to finally Eric Bischoff. Could it be great? Could it be bad? Probably both but let’s see where it takes us right? Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!