Wednesday 12 July 2017

WCW Souled Out 2000 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that gives hot new heels Big Show to work with for a month! We are into WCW’s 2000, the year that they completely lost their minds where everything went to absolute nuts. This is Souled Out 2000 where we have Sid Vicious vs Chris Benoit, Terry Funk vs Kevin Nash, DDP vs Bagwell and Oklahoma vs Madusa. As you can tell by those matches I named, this is a bit all over the place. Will it be a total shit-show? The odds are high but surely they could not be shit all year around right? Right? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

We have fireworks, pyro and Mike Tenay is back on commentary. No promo package, what the fuck is that about? Well, Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett suffered injuries, Bret Hart’s injury ended his career while Benoit takes on Sid for the World Heavyweight Championship.

(Catch as Catch Can Style Match) Kidman vs Dean Malenko

For some reason, Kidman is running the gauntlet against members of The Revolution, no idea where Mysterio or Eddie are but Konnan was taking out earlier in the night by The Revolution. Lock-up with a clean break, side headlock by Malenko, shoulder block by Malenko. Lock-up, takedown by Malenko. Kidman backs Malenko into the corner, armwringer by Malenko. Headscissors with an armbar by Malenko, Kidman breaks free and beats on Malenko. Right hands by Malenko, Kidman punches the head of Malenko before Malenko rolls out to the floor. The match is over because Malenko stood out on the floor. DUD!

Winner: Kidman over Dean Malenko via Techinicality!

David Flair & Crowbar/ Vampiro & Chono?

Ok Flair and Crowbar are creepy who want to beat the piss out of Vampiro, I understand that part but what the fuck is going on when Vampiro starts talking and out comes Masahiro Chono, one of the biggest stars of New Japan. Why did Chono appear? I have not one clue as to what the fuck is going on with this company.

David Flair vs Crowbar vs Vampiro

Flair & Crowbar are tag team champions, Vampiro was a victim of beatdowns from the two. Flair & Crowbar sprint to the ring, Vampiro clotheslines and facebusters both. Chop and headbutt by Vampiro on Crowbar, Vampiro eats a northern lights suplex from Crowbar for two. Monkey flip does not work, leg lariat by Vampiro, Flair is tossed to the floor. Vampiro smacks Crowbar with a suicide dive, Flair is tossed into the ring. Chops by Flair, they have no effect on Vampiro. Crowbar wants Vampiro, diving spinning heel kick by Vampiro. Vampiro chops Flair hard, Flair is tossed into Crowbar. Double baseball slide, Crowbar takes out Vampiro & Flair with a tope con hilo, Crowbar dives onto Vampiro who is down on the floor.

Flair chops Vampiro, Vampiro chops back at Flair. Crowbar German suplexes Vampiro, Crowbar nails a slingshot leg drop for two. Crowbar climbs to the top turnbuckle, Vampiro superplexes Crowbar. Cover and Flair saves the match, Flair chokes Vampiro while Crowbar drops a leg to the groin of Vampiro. Reverse chinlcok by Crowbar, Crowbar slams Flair onto Vampiro. Two for Flair, suplex by Flair for two. Vampiro escapes a powerbomb, back suplex for Flair and huge spinkick for Crowbar.

Huge chop to Flair, Flair is down. Some chops for Crowbar, uranage by Vampiro on Crowbar. Flair saves the match, elbow drop by Crowbar. Crowbar nails a top rope splash, Flair goes for The Figure Four. Slingshot splash by Crowbar, Crowbar and Flair argue over who should win the match. Flair back suplexes Crowbar, Vampiro rolls-up Flair for two. Crowbar chops Vampiro, Vampiro powerbombs Crowbar. Flair splashes Daffney by mistake, Nail in The Coffin by Vampiro for the win.

They could have shaved a few minutes of this match, smart to keep Flair on the floor for most of it as Crowbar seems like a legitimate worker. Cannot believe they put the titles on those two though, it is like one great big rib. A win for Vampiro though, it does not mean much to beat David Flair but Vampiro had lost a good few times on pay per view since joining the company. Such a joke of a match but somehow the fans were able to keep invested in it so I will call it ok.

Winner: Vampiro over Everyone Else via Nail in The Coffin!

The Harris Brothers vs The Mamalukes W/ Disco Inferno

Disco owed a big debt to Mr. Marinara, this led to his son Tony Marinara bringing in his hired goons Vito and Stamboli, Disco’s debt is being repaid by assisting Vito and Stamboli. The Harris brothers are no longer Creative Control with the reformation of The NWO. Neither of these teams are babyfaces to my knowledge, that makes it fun. Ron clubs Stamboli, corner clothesline by Ron. Stamboli blocks a corner clothesline, huge spinning kick and clothesline by Stamboli. Ron powders, in comes Don. Side headlock by Vito, shoulder block by Don. Hiptoss by Vito, superkick and tag to Stamboli. Double back elbow, Stamboli beats the piss out of Don. Neckbreaker by Vito for two, suplex by Vito for two. Elbow to the nuts by Vito, tag to Stamboli.

 Ron cheap shots Stamboli, clothesline by Don. Ron rams Stamboli into the guard rail, sidewalk slam by Don. Tag to Ron, big boot by Ron. Reverse chinlock by Ron, Stamboli fights back with a flying forearm. Ron spinebusters Stamboli for two, Stamboli rolls-up Ron for two. In comes Don, huge right hand by Don. Don low blows Stamboli right in front of the referee, no DQ. Elbow drops by Don, tag to Ron. Irish whip by Ron, Stamboli kicks Ron in the face and delivers a clothesline. Ron knocks Vito off the apron, The Harris brothers put the boots to Stamboli.

Don sends Stamboli into the safety rail, Don powerslams Stamboli. Sunset flip by Stamboli, Don is in the ropes. Tag to Ron, knees by Ron. DDT by Ron, Vito makes the save. Ron clubs Vito to the floor, Vito is sent into the ringpost. Vito recovers to crotch Don, Vito dives onto Ron for the win.

Well, that was time wasted. Who is meant to be the babyfaces in this match? I thought The Mamalukes are mistreating Disco and Disco is the babyface? If so, why would I cheer either of these teams? Anyways, The Harris Brothers were never setting the world on fire, Vito did not even get the hot-tag, Stamboli just took a beating forever, it was boring.

Winners: Stamboli & Vito over The Harris Brothers via Diving Crossbody!

(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Oklahoma vs Madusa © W/ Spice

Oklahoma is a parody of JR, a rather offensive one to Jim Ross. Oklahoma calls women inferior as men are superior and the dominant sex while calling women utterly useless. Seems an awful lot like Chyna vs Jeff Jarrett although they had the good sense to have Chyna destroy Jarrett at the end of the night, will WCW have the same pay-off?

Madusa kicks Oklahoma for two, Oklahoma snapmares Madusa over and over. Madusa misses a corner splash but she falls on Oklahoma’s nuts, missile dropkick by Madusa. Make it two, Irish whip and Oklahoma holds onto the ropes. Madusa cracks her head off the mat, DDT by Oklahoma. Oklahoma has the BBQ Sauce bottle, here is Asya. Asya punches Oklahoma, Oklahoma pulls down Madusa’s skirt and pins her.

After all that, Oklahoma beats Madusa. Oklahoma humiliated the woman, insulted women everywhere but when it came down to the match, Oklahoma beats Madusa to win the feud. What a great moment in WCW’s proud history, a fat out of shape shitty wrestling writer and a woman battling for the cruiserweight championship, Such a joke, I cannot believe they had Oklahoma go over, they could not even copy the WWF properly.

Winner: Oklahoma over Madusa via Roll-Up!

(WCW Hardcore Championship Match) Norman Smiley vs Finlay vs Brian Knobbs © vs Meng

Smiley is the only one of the four that is truly over, Smiley was champion before Knobbs won the championship in a parking lot. Lots of weapon shots, Finlay & Knobbs seem to still be friends. Meng kicks a can into Smiley’s face, corner splashes on Meng. Meng and Finlay pair off, Meng whacks Finlay with a trash can. Smiley cracks Knobbs, Meng chops Smiley. Lots of trash can shots, Smiley is sent groin first into the ringpost. More trash can shots and no-selling from Meng. Finlay is taken by Meng, Knobbs seems dead in the ring. Headbutt to the balls by Smiley, Big Wiggle from Smiley. Knobbs flattens Smiley with the riot shield, game over. DUD!

Winner: Brian Knobbs over Everyone Else via Riot Shield!

Kidman vs Perry Saturn

Saturn is all over Kidman with knees and right hands before Kidman dropkicks and headscissor takesdown Saturn. Right hands in the corner, corner clothesline for two. Saturn blocks a bulldog and crotches Kidman on the top rope, springboard clothesline by Saturn for two. Spinning sole butt by Saturn, armbar by Saturn. Kidman escapes a suplex for a roll-up, two for Kidman. Clothesline by Saturn followed by a springboard leg drop, two for Saturn. Chops by Saturn, Kidman is suplex onto the rope and Saturn pins for two. Kidman boots Saturn out of the corner but eats a superkick from Saturn, another armbar hold from Saturn. Saturn chokes Kidman with his shirt, Kidman is tossed across the ring.

Saturn pulls out a table, Kidman planchas onto Saturn. Kidman is placed on the table, Kidman recovers to slingshot headscissors Saturn, Saturn retaliates with a clothesline. Scoop slam by Saturn, elbow drop by Saturn for two. Sunset flip by Kidman for two, clothesline by Saturn. Saturn powerbombs Kidman hard, two for Saturn. Saturn climbs to the top rope and misses a moonsault, bulldog by Kidman. BK Bomb for two, Saturn suplexes Kidman over the top rope and through the table. Two for Saturn, Saturn climbs to the top rope. Kidman back drops Saturn, Kidman facebusters Saturn off a powerbomb for the win.

That was watchable, I do not believe it. Most of this pay per view has been boring but this was quite good. It seemed Kidman was always a favourite of the backstage, shame that they would not have Kidman continuing to head up the cruiserweight division. Saturn does the job, not surprising considering Saturn wanted to leave for greener pastures and Saturn was not wrong.

Winner: Kidman over Saturn via Facebuster!

Booker T W/ Midnight vs Stevie Ray

Every time I see Stevie Ray, I wonder to myself how did this guy manage to win so many tag team titles because the man seems to be a black hole of charisma while Booker T lights up the arena when he begins to talk or when he gets in the ring. Booker pops Stevie Ray in the mouth, Harlem Sidekick with Stevie Ray going to the floor, Booker continues to dish out the pain. Flying forearm by Booker for two, Stevie Ray catches Booker with an elbow. Clothesline by Stevie Ray, another back elbow. Booker is tossed to the floor, Stevie Ray whips Booker into the guard rail. Booker returns the favour, teeing off on Stevie Ray.

Stevie Ray powerslams Booker for two, reverse chinlock by Stevie Ray. Cover for two, right hands to the mush by Stevie Ray. Elbow by Stevie Ray for two, another reverse chinlock. Booker fires up but eats a back drop, back body drop by Booker. Spinning heel kick by Booker, Scissors Kick with Spinaroonie by Booker. Book-End, here is Ahmed Johnson. Johnson waffles the shite out of Booker, looking bigger and heavier than I have ever seen him. Midnight comes out to help but Stevie Ray Slapjacks Booker. Pearl River Plunge by Ahmed, Midnight checks on the downed Booker. DUD!

Winner: Booker T over Stevie Ray via DQ!

Tank Abbott vs Jerry Flynn

Jerry Flynn makes it onto pay per view once again, that is always good news. They had attacked one another a series of times on Nitro and Thunder, Abbott has Flynn in the corner, they club one another hard. Lots of kicks by Flynn, Flynn locks in a cross armbreaker. Abbott blocks and escapes to pummel Flynn, single leg hold from Abbott. Abbott escapes a triangle with a huge powerbomb, left hooks by Abbott and Flynn is out-cold. DUD!

Winner: Tank Abbott over Jerry Flynn via Left Hook!

DDP vs Buff Bagwell (Last Man Standing Match)

Bagwell was hitting on DDP’s wife, DDP believes Bagwell did have an affair with Kimberly, Bagwell denies it but never underestimate a man’s jealousy. They will battle it out in this Last Man Standing match, they slap one another before pummelling one another. Right hands by Bagwell leave DDP on the floor, DDP meets the guard rail. Bagwell meets the guard rail and now, they brawl into the crowd. Bagwell has DDP in a penalty box, they both knock one another down comically. DDP brings Bagwell ringside, DDP is whipped into the guard rail. DDP nails Bagwell with a neckbreaker, Diamond Cutter is countered for a swinging neckbreaker. Discuss lariat, DDP clotheslines Bagwell to the floor.

They brawl to the tech area and throw monitors at one another. DDP cracks Bagwell with a keyboard, Bagwell elbow drops DDP through a table after climbing part of the set, DDP chases Bagwell back to the ring. Bagwell beats down DDP in the ring, DDP grabs Bagwell and unloads on Buff Daddy. DDP pulls Bagwell ball first into the ringpost, DDP elbows Bagwell in the corner. Bagwell is whipped to the opposite corner, Bagwell elbows and splashes DDP. Elbow by DDP, right hands by DDP.

 Bagwell dodges a powerslam, DDT by Bagwell. Powerslam by Bagwell, Bagwell motions for The Blockbuster. It connects, Bagwell hits DDP with a baton but DDP gets up to nail The Diamond Cutter. Here comes Kimberly, Bagwell wins the match. DDP whacks Bagwell with the baton, Kimberly looks confused yet she leaves with DDP.

Well, I liked the intensity of the match, they beat the piss out of one another like two men who hated one another, I thought the drama was poorly built though. Felt like they were rushing, everything seem kind of ridiculous and DDP bet himself by performing The Diamond Cutter? That’s lame and they no-sold the baton and the finishers all for the sake of a poor match.

Winner: Buff Bagwell over DDP via Diamond Cutter!

(Cage Match) Kidman vs The Wall W/ Shane Douglas

Kidman baseball slides the surprise that is The Wall, chair shot to the head by Kidman. Make it two, The Wall punches the chair into the face of Kidman. The Wall climbs to the top turnbuckle, Kidman blocks The Wall with a dropkick. Two for Kidman, The Wall gains control and smacks Kidman off the cage wall. Right hands by The Wall, stomps by The Wall. Clothesline by The Wall for two, Kidman sunset flip powerbombs The Wall off the top rope for two. Samoan drop by The Wall, Kidman DDTs The Wall for two. Chokeslam by The Wall is blocked for a hurricanrana, Kidman looks for The Shooting Star Press, Kidman dives into a Chokeslam, say goodnight. Why bring out a cage for a 5 minute match? What is this horseshit? DUD!

Winner: The Wall over Kidman via Chokeslam!

Kevin Nash vs Terry Funk

The battle for the role of Commissioner, if Terry Funk can win, The NWO will disband. Nash meets Funk in the aisle way, Funk fights back against Nash. Eye poke by Nash, chair shot to the back by Nash. Jacknife Powerbomb through the announce table by Nash, Nash asks Funk to meet him in the ring. Slowly, Funk crawls into the ring and proceeds to knee and elbow Funk in the corner. Nash clotheslines Funk to the floor, right hands by Nash. Funk is cracked across the back, Funk smacks Nash in the face of the chair.

 Funk DDTs Nash, Funk gets a two-count for the DDT. Funk batters Nash on his knees, Nash low blows Funk. Nash smacks Funk with a chair over and over, Funk. Nash low blows Funk and nails a Jacknife Powerbomb for the win. DUD!

Winner: Kevin Nash over Terry Funk via Jacknife Powerbomb!

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Chris Benoit vs Sid Vicious

With Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett going down with injury, it was up for Sid Vicious to battle Benoit for the championship. Lock-up, Sid elbows Benoit down. Sid pulls up Benoit, we have a lot of WCW stars coming out to watch the main event. Sid shoves Benoit to the floor with one hand, Sid picks up Benoit for a military press slam. Another huge slam, Benoit goes after the knee of Sid. Multiple dropkicks and Benoit drops all his weight on the leg of Sid, Benoit places Sid’s leg between the ringpost and the steel steps, Benoit dropkicks the steps into Sid’s leg.

Benoit goes for the leg as Sid chops back on one leg. Two for Benoit, figure four by Benoit. Sid reverses the hold but Benoit keeps control with low dropkicks and chops, Benoit continues to kick the leg of Sid in the corner. Dragon screw legwhip by Benoit for two, Sid fights back from his knees. Muta lock by Benoit, Benoit baseball slides Sid to the floor. Sid begins shaking off Benoit’s attacks, right hands by Sid. Dropkick to the knee by Benoit, Sid blocks a Benoit boot. Benoit German suplexes Sid once, Sid elbows his way out. Powerslam by Sid, two for Sid.

Benoit has a heel hook on Sid, Sid reaches the ropes. German suplex by Benoit, Diving Headbutt by Benoit for two. Chokeslam by Sid who has risen from the grave, Benoit places his foot under the ropes. Benoit grabs Sid for The Crippler Crossface and Benoit wins the match.

What I liked was having everyone watching on the stage, I hated just about everything else. The leg work was pointless, it did not play into the finish in the slightest, it was a waste of time. The finish came out of nowhere, seemed so abrupt like it just happened and Sid tapped immediately, I thought what the fuck, has my tape skipped forward but no, that was it, it was over in seconds after the big chokeslam. I also think it was the wrong call to make as Sid was more over than Benoit, sorry to say it as Benoit worked so hard and deserved a championship run but Sid Vicious was the most over man in that match.

Winner: Chris Benoit over Sid Vicious via Crippler Crossface!

That was WCW’s Souled Out of 2000, a real shit-show from WCW. I was too nice in the early portion of the review because by the midway point, I had lost all hope in this show. You had a decent match with Kidman & Saturn but the rest annoyed me, it was boring, it was confusing and just disappointing. It was hardly watchable at times, not passable at many points. It was a poor show but fortunately, there is more to come. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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