WWF Royal Rumble 1996 Review

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more salty than a Wrestling fan when a wrestler signs for the “Wrong” company! It’s WWF Royal Rumble 1996, the worst year in WWF is over so will we be able to see something better in 1996? What’s happening on this card? Well, The Undertaker made his intentions known at In Your House 5 Season Beatings, The Deadman is coming for The WWF Championship held by The Hitman. Can Bret Hart survive The Undertaker? Razor Ramon defends his WWF Intercontinental Championship against The Bizarre One Goldust who has taken a strange interest in The Bad Guy, bordering on falling in love with Razor Ramon. We also have what we all came for, 30 men fighting for the chance to main event Wrestlemania! Could be Owen Hart? Could it be Diesel? Could it be the debuting Vader? Or the returning Heartbreak Kid? So much packed into one night but will 1996 knock it out of the park on the first PPV of the year? Let’s find out!

 

Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson

 

Ahmed Johnson destroyed Buddy Landel instead of Dean Douglas with Double J assaulting Ahmed after the match, it was the first major feud for Ahmed but also Jarrett’s first feud since returning to the WWF so not sure how this one will go but I don’t see Ahmed doing the JOB.

 

 

Ahmed sprints down to the ring, big right hands before Jarrett powders, Jarrett attacks Ahmed as Ahmed re-enters the ring. Hip-toss does not work, Ahmed hip-tosses Jarrett. Side headlock from Double J, Ahmed tosses off Jarrett. Jarrett dodges a splash, right hands from Jarrett. Ahmed reverses an Irish whip for a short-arm clothesline, shoulder blocks from Ahmed. Powerslam from Ahmed for two, Irish whip and flying clothesline from Ahmed. Jarrett ducks Ahmed who gets caught in the ropes trying a crossbody, Jarrett lands a clothesline from the apron to the floor. Jarrett whips Ahmed into the steel steps and lands a massive leg across the back of Ahmed. Strut from Jarrett, double axe handle to the spine.

 

 

Ahmed begins shaking off the attacks of Jarrett, Ahmed catches Jarrett on the fourth axe handle attempt, inverted atomic drop and clothesline from Ahmed. Spinebuster from Ahmed, Jarrett rolls to the floor. Ahmed picks up steam and dives to the floor, Ahmed is on the top rope and Jarrett dodges the somersault splash. Figure-Four is applied middle of the ring, Ahmed reverses the hold and Jarrett has to release the hold. Jarrett attacks the legs with elbows, Ahmed kicks Double J to the floor this time. Jarrett grabs his guitar, climbing to the top rope. Jarrett jumps off and cracks Ahmed with the guitar.

 

 

So I was worried coming in when both men were fresh with Jarrett returning to the WWF and Ahmed being a top prospect and the finish plays beautifully into my fears as it completely sours me. Hot opening match this is not, it doesn’t even dive into that fun Jarrett being a prick territory but we do see brief flashes of how absolutely insane Ahmed Johnson can be inside of that ring. The selling is rough at times and it looks as if Ahmed’s hand is being held throughout the match but the power and explosiveness of Ahmed is just so much fun. That finish is awful though, why not squash Douglas who you don’t care about instead of a DQ to open the show?

 

Winner: Ahmed Johnson over Jeff Jarrett via DQ!

 

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The Bodydonnas W/ Sunny vs The Smoking Gunns ©

 

Skip has overcome Barry Horowitz while Sunny has matured into a sex symbol in the WWF, I do enjoy Pritchard’s work especially his work against The Dirty White Boy and of course, The Heavenly Bodies. The Gunns have been hit and miss but the tag team division is garbage during this era so what do you expect? Billy and Skip to begin, side headlock from Skip. Shoulder block from Billy for two, leapfrogs from Skip before a beautiful headscissors takedown before Billy lands a massive back body drop. Skip low-bridges Billy and Billy is on the floor, Bart is wiped out by The Bodydonnas. Double elbow for Billy, Bart pulls Bodydonnas to the floor before Billy lands a plancha to the floor.

 

 

Billy and Skip to restart the match, Skip takes the leg but the figure four does not happen. Skip is bounced between The Gunns, Zip eats a right hand too. Billy smashes Zip with a right hand, Skip is down on the floor. Bart and Sunny are flirting, Sunny shows a little cheek to Bart. Zip wants a piece of Bart, Sunny continues teasing. Zip chops Bart, no effect on Bart. Bart chops away at Zip, whip to the buckle and a military press slam. Massive left, Skip blind-tags in and Skip clotheslines Bart hard. Right hands from Skip, Bart ducks and Billy tags in. Hart Attack from the Gunns, Sunny is on the apron. Billy is whipped into the ropes with Sunny standing on the apron, Billy checks on Sunny.

 

 

Skip and Zip batter Billy for checking on Sunny who was acting, Bart comes in and waffles The Bodydonnas but Billy is taking a whooping at the hands of Skip. Plancha to the floor from Skip, tag to Zip. Scoop slam and Zip is suplexed onto Billy by Skip for two, Boot to the face from Zip, scoop slam from Zip. Gut-wrench powerbomb attack from the challengers for two, Skip smashes Bart who is on the apron. The Bodydonnas ram Billy into the turnbuckle over and over, Zip applies the reverse chin-lock. Billy fights out but the challengers maintain control. Skip lands a middle rope headbutt for two, tag to Zip. Double flapjack for two, Billy shoves off Skip who hits Zip and we have a three-way collision.

 

 

Bart wants the tag, Billy escapes the challengers and tags Bart. Left hands all around, back body drop for Skip. Elbow for Zip, Skip and Billy are brawling. Both Bodydonnas are down, Gunns hit their finish but Sunny is on the apron. Billy is with the referee, Bart eats a Diving Top Rope Headbutt from Skip. They trade places, 1….2… Bart survives unbelievably! Billy is tossed to the floor, The Bodydonnas land a double back body drop but they want a double suplex. Billy spears Zip, Bart small packages Skip and The Gunns retain their championships.

 

 

Decent tag team match, Sunny is fantastic as a heel. Say what you want about her as a person but as a performer, Sunny continues to impress me and it seems that she will be hitting her stride soon enough. The Gunns are popular with the fans, the fans never give up during the match. Skip and Zip are alright as a team, I do love both men’s work but I’d rather watch the two in SMW Considering how things were going in the WWF at the time, this was better than we could have hoped for, I did like the tease on the switching between the two Bodydonnas, I bought into that for the finish so it’s all good in my eyes.

 

Winners: The Smoking Gunns over The Bodydonnas via Small Package!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Razor Ramon © vs Goldust W/ Marlena

 

Goldust declared his interest in Razor Ramon at In Your House, showering The Bad Guy with gifts and Razor eventually snapped, attacking The Bizarre One in a brutal attack at Monday Night RAW. Goldust appears for the first time with Marlena, this is a special moment. I really like this angle, it’s heated and these two want to kill one another. Razor’s work is always enjoyable and Goldust hopefully rises to the occasion with this match.

 

 

Goldust’s mannerisms seem to be in full-swing now, Razor throws his toothpick at Goldust. Goldust is hesitant to lock-up, teasing the champion. Razor takes the arm, yanking the arm out of its socket. Arm-bar with paintbrushes from the champion, side headlock from Razor. Goldust slips out, Goldust looks to Marlena. Waist-lock from Razor, Goldust reverses and rubs up and down the chest of Razor. Razor and Goldust are in the corner, Goldust rubs the head of Razor. Razor shoves off Goldust, a whole lot of psychology in this one at work with Goldust trying to rattle the cage of Razor. Razor takes the arm, hammerlock before Goldust reverses and slaps Razor.

 

 

 Drop toehold and slaps from Razor, massive slap on the face and ass from The Bad Guy. Goldust loves it before a right hand floors The Bizarre One, Goldust hides behind Marlena on the floor. Lock-up, side headlock from Goldust but Razor uses his legs to choke Goldust, We repeat the spots three times before Razor lands a massive right hand. Goldust hides behind Marlena again, Razor cuts a frustrated figure at ringside. Goldust blows Razor a kiss, Razor kicks Goldust. Goldust dodges the right hand but gets clotheslined to the floor, Marlena is moved by Razor and Goldust takes control. Razor is rammed into the ring apron twice, the challenger lands a kneeling uppercut. Double axe handle from Goldust, whip to the buckle. Razor is whipped to the opposite buckle and back again, running bulldog by Goldust for two.

 

 

Goldust slaps on the reverse chin-lock, Razor fights out but eats a belly to back suplex from the challenger for two. Marlena blows dust into the eyes of Razor, Razor fights back with big rights. Razor lowers his head, mat-slam and neck-breaker from Goldust for two. Sleeper from Goldust, Razor is fading and fading fast. Razor comes back to life, walking Goldust to the corner and Razor lands a low blow on Goldust with the referee missing the blow. Right hands by Razor, chokeslam from Razor for two. Fallaway slam from Razor for two, Goldust pokes the eyes. Goldust is on the top rope, Razor crotches Goldust. Super bell to back suplex, Marlena is in the ring clutching her ankle. Razor calls for the finish, The 123 Kid is here. Diving spinning heel kick from Kid, Goldust covers Razor for the championship.

 

 

Goldust’s best match in the WWF at this point but that’s not saying much considering how bad the Jannetty and Bigelow matches were when I had to sit through those torturous affairs. However, in this match Goldust is with the always popular Ramon. Goldust’s mind games are on full-display, riling up Razor and the crowd, the crowd loving every time that Razor smashed Goldust in the head. Again, another reign for Razor comes to an end, shocked that there will be no WWF Championship on the cards for that man. Anyways, Razor and Goldust work at a good pace, Goldust gets good heat hiding behind Marlena and faking out The Bad Guy. The finish builds heat for the feud between Kid and Razor, hopefully we get that paid off because of the time put into the feud.

 

Winner: Goldust over Razor Ramon via Diving Spinning Heel Kick!

 

(The Royal Rumble Match)

 

Entrants 1 to 5

 

Number one and number two are Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Henry O. Godwinn, these two are slugging it out before Helmsley eye-pokes Godwinn. Uppercuts and kicks before Godwinn lands a clothesline, back body drop from Godwinn. Helmsley flips out of the corner, military press slam almost works before Helmsley rakes the eyes. Helmsley chokes Godwinn with the middle rope, Helmsley rips at the face of Godwinn. Right hands from Helmsley, Godwinn fires back though with right hands, flooring Helmsley. Number three is Bob Backlund, has Backlund competed in the WWF or just promos? Backlund pummels Godwinn, trying to dump out Godwinn before Godwinn floors Backlund. Forearms from Backlund to Helmsley, all three men brawling with one another.

 

Godwinn is waffled between the eyes by Helmsley, Backlund is hanging on by a thread. Backlund almost back-drops Helmsley over, both men are trying to dump out Backlund. Number four is Jerry Lawler, Lawler slowly makes his way to the ring before making friends with Helmsley. That mullet is atrocious, Lawler has the slop bucket. Godwinn fights out and has the bucket, all the heels are on the outside not wanting to be slopped and Lawler wanted to have a talk with his friends before Lawler gets destroyed in the slop. Entrant number five is Bob Holly, Holly goes after Lawler. Big right hands, an Irish whip and a back body drop on Lawler. Backlund is with Helmsley, Godwinn clubs down both. Helmsley is teeing off on Godwinn, Helmsley almost throws out Godwinn.

 

Entrants 6 to 10

 

Backlund is on Godwinn, Helmsley tries to dump out Backlund but to no avail. Number five is Mabel, Mabel is back after being destroyed by The Undertaker. Sir Mo is here with Mabel which is a nice touch, Godwinn is the first target for Mabel. Godwinn fights off Lawler while fighting off Mabel, Holly eats a back body drop from Helmsley. Holly is almost thrown out, Backlund wants to throw out both but Holly and Helmsley survive the elimination attempt. Number six is Jake The Snake Roberts, a big star no doubt about it and it’s always nice to see Jake. Jake comes in and throws out the snake which sends the heels scampering to ringside, Lawler is covered by the massive snake. The ring has been cleared for the second time, the first time was with Godwinn’s slop.

 

Big pop for Jake though, Mabel and Godwinn collide with Mabel getting stuck in the ropes. Lawler is hiding under the ring to avoid being attacked, clever move from Lawler. Number eight is Dory Funk Jr. wow this rumble could not get worse. It’s looking rough in terms of talent, Helmsley avoids the DDT. Dory Funk uppercuts Backlund, Mabel steps all over Godwinn. Lawler peaks out from under the apron as Godwinn lands a massive diving clothesline on Mabel. Number nine is Yokozuna, surely the ring might empty for once. Backlund has the chicken-wing on Funk but Yokozuna breaks that up. Backlund is tossed out by Yokozuna!

 

Bob Backlund has been Eliminated by Yokozuna!

 

Mabel and Yokozuna are shoving one another, Godwinn is stuck behind the two monsters. Mabel splashes Yokozuna, trying to dump out the former WWF Champion. Yokozuna headbutts his way out as Holly lands a frakensteiner on Godwinn, Mabel splashes Godwinn because why not? Number ten is The 1-2-3 Kid!

 

Entrants 11 to 15

 

Ramon is chasing Kid all around the ring, the officials get rid of Ramon. Ramon is so close but just cannot get his hands on Kid, number eleven is Takao Omori. Omori would kickstart his career in AJPW a few years after this in his No Fear tag team with Yoshiro Takayama, no idea that the WWF would have a relationship with AJPW. Omori uppercuts away at the giants in the match before they chop the shit out of Omori. This match has been rough so far how have Mabel or Yokozuna not dumped out everyone in sight? They are made especially for that purpose! Number twelve is Savio Vega, wonder how his career been going as Razor’s friend, Spinning Heel Kick wipes out Mabel. Yokozuna dumps out Mabel! Omori wants to dump out Jake but Jake reverses it and dumps out Omori!

 

Mabel has been Eliminated by Yokozuna!

 

Takao Omori has been Eliminated by Jake Roberts!

 

Number thirteen is Vader, things just got interesting as Vader makes his debut in the WWF. Fans are standing, things look good. Please let Vader destroy everyone, Vader pummels Holly. Dory Funk almost elbows Savio out of the ring, Holly tries brawling with Vader. Savio eliminates Dory Dunk Jr. from the apron!

 

Dory Funk Jr. has been Eliminated by Savio Vega!

 

Vader waffles Savio in the corner, Jake stalks the big man. Big mistake as Vader starts shaking off everything Jake throws, number fourteen is Doug Gilbert. We have some USWA flavour to this match, the WWF looking really bad right now. I like how Perfect and Vince both went who the fuck is that? Really puts over the talent in this match. Vader clotheslines Jake out of the ring who wanted a DDT on Gilbert!

 

Jake Roberts has been Eliminated by Vader!

 

Vader hammers Gilbert, fans are loving the big man. Number fifteen is one of the Swat teams members, these guys appeared in FMW and AJPW too. Wow, WWF is pulling talent from all around the world, just how starved of talent are they during this year? Vader chokeslams the life out of Gilbert, it looked brutal. Vader military presses Gilbert to the floor! Vader throws over one of The Swat team members too!

 

Doug Gilbert & Swat Team Member have been Eliminated by Vader!

 

Entrants 16 to 20

 

Number sixteen is Swat Team Member 2, The Headhunters are both entering the ring. They want Vader because Vader eliminated one, Vader starts beating the shit out of both. Clothesline sends a member to the floor and Yokozuna clotheslines out the other Headhunter. Number seventeen is Owen Hart, hopefully Owen Hart has a good Rumble for once, Savio dropkicks Vader and now the two monsters are teaming up as they pummel Savio. Savio is squished by both monsters, number eighteen is Shawn Michaels. Michaels goes after everyone while Savio is finally dumped out by Vader.

 

Savio Vega has been Eliminated by Vader!

 

Michaels knocks many of the heels with right hands before Yokozuna and Vader come to blows, Michaels dumps out Vader and Yokozuna! Kid is press-slammed over by HBK too.

 

Vader & Yokozuna & The 1-2-3 Kid have been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Number nineteen is Hakushi, Vader is not happy and military press slams HBK to the floor. However, Michaels is not eliminated because Vader was not legally in the rumble. This is a rule that they never use nowadays, makes sense but anyways, Vader dumps out everything bringing the rumble to a stop for the third time tonight. Number twenty is Tatanka, Tatanka strolls to the ring as Hakushi takes it to Owen Hart. Holly is with HBK, Helmsley goes after HBK. Hakushi almost dumps out Owen Hart, more elimination attempts from everyone before Owen dumps out Hakushi

 

Hakushi has been eliminated by Owen Hart!

 

Entrants 21 to 25

 

Number twenty-one is Aldo Montoya, Tatanka tees off on Aldo. Michaels is crawling under the ring, looking for Jerry Lawler. HBK throws Lawler in the ring, Lawler is backing away from HBK. Tatanka clotheslines Aldo to the floor while HBK punches out Lawler.

 

Aldo Montoya has been Eliminated by Tatanka!

 

Jerry Lawler has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Number twenty-two is Diesel, right hands for Tatanka and Helmsley. Tatanka is immediately dumped out by Big Daddy Cool.

 

Tatanka has been Eliminated by Diesel!

 

Owen rakes the eyes of Diesel, shoulder thrusts before Diesel almost dumps out Owen who hangs on in the match. Diesel saves Michaels from a beating as Diesel continues to dominate in this match. Number twenty-three is Kama Mustafa, Kama goes after Diesel with big kicks to the ribs. Michaels pummels Bob Holly, how Bob Holly survived this long in this match? The guy is as low on the card as you can go, this is crazy. Diesel decks HBK by mistake, could they be teasing dissension once again? Number twenty-four is The Ringmaster, chop block to the knee of Holly. Holly chops away at Austin before Diesel lands some big knees. Elbow for Holly, Holly almost catapults out Austin before Austin hangs on and clotheslines Holly to the floor.

 

Bob Holly has been Eliminated by The Ringmaster!

 

Number twenty-five is Barry Horowitz, fuck me. Diesel decks Horowitz immediately, Michaels and Owen are brawling near the ropes as Owen skins the cat. Helmsley lands a big diving clothesline on The Ringmaster, Kama and Helmsley pummel Diesel before Diesel has enough and dumps out Helmsley.

 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley has been Eliminated by Diesel!

 

Entrants 26 to 30

 

Number twenty-six is Fatu, superkick for Kama. Big right hand to Owen, Horowitz goes after Owen. Fatu and Kama pair off as Diesel and The Ringmaster brawl in the corner, Owen attempts to suplex out Michaels but Michaels hangs on valiantly. Diesel boots down The Ringmaster, Michaels and Owen are on the apron. Number twenty-seven is Isaac Yankem, talk about rough around the edges. Horowitz tries to clothesline out Owen but Owen back-drops Horowitz to the floor. Owen Hart plants Michaels with an enzuigri and attempts to dump out Michaels before Diesel dumps out Owen.

 

Barry Horowitz has been Eliminated by Owen Hart!

 

Owen Hart has been Eliminated by Diesel!

 

Number twenty-eight is Marty Jannetty, I hope Jannetty goes after Michaels. Sadly, no Jannetty is not that committed to continuity. Jannetty tries to headbutt Fatu, bad idea. Hold on, Jannetty and Michaels are brawling I do love this man. Both men knock one another down with right hands, number twenty-nine is The British Bulldog. Bulldog goes after Michaels, Diana is watching on for British Bulldog. Jannetty is dumped out by The British Bulldog!

 

Marty Jannetty has been Eliminated by The British Bulldog!

 

The Ringmaster has been Eliminated by Fatu!

 

Austin is irate as Austin tells the story, The Ringmaster had a spot planned with Michaels for this elimination but that doesn’t happen as Austin missed hanging onto the ropes. I don’t think Fatu is ever thrown out, Fatu just leaves? Number thirty is Duke The Dumpster Droese. Michaels and Bulldog brawl on the floor, Owen Hart comes back out to help Davey Boy. Michaels dropkicks out Yankem! Kama and Diesel dump out Duke The Dumpster

 

Isaac Yankem has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Duke The Dumpster has been Eliminated by Kama & Diesel!

 

British Bulldog has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Kama Mustafa has been Eliminated by Diesel!

 

Diesel has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Yes as quick as that, Yankem and Duke bite the dust within seconds of one another. Moments later, Bulldog and Kama are gone and poor Diesel turns around to walk into Sweet Chin Music and tumble to the floor. Thus, The 1996 Royal Rumble match comes to an end and it was an odd one that’s for sure. So, when it comes to the older Rumbles, I am fine with less planned spots that give it that organic feel but I do love when they give me a reason to care. I did not get a whole load of care when watching this Rumble. Those first 10 entrants were rough as well as having talent that having appeared in months or years like Jake/Backlund/Mabel to stars from other companies like The Headhunters and Takao Omori, the WWF came off really toothless here. On top of that, what little spots they could have done didn’t really come together for me. Vader should have cleared the ring, no exceptions. Put some heat on The Big Man, you hyped him up and I think Vader had 2 eliminations by the time the night was over. Diesel didn’t kill everyone like I thought Diesel would, Michaels did not go after Owen Hart relentlessly. No Sid which sucks, no Ahmed or Goldust or Razor or Jarrett. That’s a lot of depth to miss out on again. Only parts that play into an angle are Razor attacking Kid for costing him the championship and the possibility of Diesel snapping on HBK. As far as characters go, Diesel was far more interesting to me but his work during the year prior was awful when he wasn’t in there with HBK or Owen Hart. Definitely up there as a bad Rumble match!

 

Winner: Shawn Michaels!

 

(WWF Championship Match) Bret Hart © vs The Undertaker W/ Paul Bearer

 

Diesel has not left the ringside area and Taker brawls with Diesel before we begin the match, two babyfaces going at it with Taker declaring his intentions at the previous In Your House. First decent opponent Taker has had in maybe 2 years on pay per view? Maybe longer? Bret continues to duck Taker’s attacks with Taker shaking off every attack. Bret is thrown to the buckle, rights and lefts with a choke for good measure. Whip to the buckle and a two-handed choke toss from The Deadman.  Taker rakes at the face of The Hitman, Bret is on the defensive. Taker lands massive rights to rock the champion, uppercuts from Taker. Hard Irish whip to the opposite buckle, Taker rakes the face of Bret.

 

 

Bret uses the ropes to escape the hold, Taker continues putting the boots to The Hitman. Old School from Taker, Taker chokes Hart once more. Hart is tossed to the corner, throat thrusts from Taker. Hard Irish whip, Bret kicks away Taker. Diving clothesline and clothesline to the floor, Taker lands on his feet. Plancha from Bret who pummels Taker, Bret tries an apron axe handle but Taker catches The Hitman and sends him spine-first into the ring-post. Taker wanted snake-eyes into the post but Bret slides out the back and shoves Taker into the ring-post. Bret charges but Taker boots away the champion, Bret is sent into the guardrail. Taker wants a whip to the steel steps but Bret reverses and Taker flies into the steel steps, his knees taking the brunt of the force.

 

 

Bret continues to stretch the legs of Taker, Taker is backing away from The Hitman. Bret drops his weight on the leg over and over, Bret also rips at the mask. Taker’s leg is taking a beating, figure four from The Hitman. In the middle of the ring, Taker is in tremendous pain. Taker struggles and struggles before reversing the hold which leads to Bret trying to reach the ropes. Bret is up first and works the knee of Taker, Bret rips at the mask again but Taker shakes off The Hitman. Taker struggles to stand as Bret continues working the leg, elbows to the knees from The Hitman. Taker manages to break free, smashing Bret with his leg and The Hitman is sent tumbling to the floor. Taker grabs a camera cord, wrapping it around the neck of The Hitman.

 

 

Eventually, they are back in the ring with Bret going after the leg of Undertaker. Mixed emotions for sure Mr. Perfect because this match is sucking the life out of me. Bret pulls Taker to the ring-post, Taker’s leg is smashed into the ring-post over and over. Taker doesn’t clutch his leg or anything, preferring to wince in pain but fair is fair, Taker is selling the leg. Another leg-hold, come on people give me some urgency. Taker lands a headbutt, leg drop across the throat from The Deadman. Clothesline from Taker, tombstone attempt but Bret slides out to the apron. Bret eats a right hand from Taker, Bret hot-shots Taker.

 

 

Taker ducks his head off an Irish whip, DDT from Bret for two. Taker sits-up, this might be getting interesting for once. Bret headbutts the spine over and over, Russian leg-sweep with Taker sitting up. Right hands from Bret, running bulldog plants Taker. Taker sits-up again, the crowd is coming alive for once. Back-breaker from Bret, Bret’s Rope Elbow Drop. Bret calls for the end, Taker has Bret by the throat. Knees by Taker, both men are down after a clothesline. Bret is exposing the turnbuckle, Bret rips at the mask for the third time. Bret manages to rip off the mask, Bret backs away from Taker. Right hands to the face, Bret is whipped to the buckle hard. Elbow from Bret, Bret sends Taker into the exposed buckle twice.

 

 

Headbutt from Bret, make it two. Right hands to the ribs, more headbutts. Taker catches Bret off a crossbody with a Tombstone Piledriver, Taker covers. 1…2.. Diesel pulls out the referee! Undertaker is declared the winner as Diesel took out the referee so Bret Hart is still your WWF Champion.

 

 

Wow, that was incredibly bad. I didn’t think that was going to be a bad match but it was a bad match for sure. Taker’s attacks were so slow and it seemed that Taker was never going to step into second gear while I usually enjoy Bret’s work on a body part, Bret applied so many useless rest-holds here to get me to care, how could you not step it up when in there with Taker? Why didn’t we have some inventive stuff from The Hitman? We eventually get the finish and it’s a DQ but look at how it went down. Diesel pulling out the referee means Diesel is on Bret’s side, that is the referee’s logic which is alright Diesel doesn’t want Taker to become champion but would have it been a bit easier if Diesel Powerbombed Taker to put it over costing him the championship? Maybe a I am thinking too much about it, the bottom line is this match was a whole lot of nothing and that finishing stretch does not make up for the bore I sat through. You had one good spot, the crossbody being countered into The Tombstone Piledriver, I can’t believe they ended the show like this though. Awful way to end a pay per view.

 

Winner: The Undertaker over Bret Hart via DQ!

 

That was WWF’s Royal Rumble 1996, a bad pay per view from the WWF. We kick off with a DQ, never a fan of those and especially when it seems you intentionally booked yourself into a corner with the new Ahmed Johnson and returning Jeff Jarrett facing one another, could have been a hot opening match but nope, flat as a pancake. The tag match is good, they went out there and did what they could, the crowd reacted and there’s talent in Candido, The Gunns are popular and I do enjoy Prichard’s tag team work. Best match on the card but it’s not saying much at all, Goldust vs Razor is enjoyable. There’s a lot of stalling and character work but it’s just enough to keep me interested. However, I am sick of seeing Razor lose considering his talent and popularity with the crowd but I am happy that this feud is going somewhere with Kid. The Royal Rumble match was weak just like the prior year with little to note or standout when recalling the match. I did like Jannetty and Michaels pummelling one another, that’s commitment right there. Should have ended the show with the Rumble, it’s not right when they don’t because the intrigue for me is knowing who is the champion heading into the rumble so you can speculate what the main event will be for Wrestlemania. I am even more certain that the rumble should have went on last after watching Bret vs Taker, a poor match from both men. It means nothing and to end a PPV on a DQ in a big championship match when the intrigue is now on who faces Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania is just piss-poor. While it’s 1996, it feels like 1995 as the WWF continues to make poor decisions and just bore me. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

 

WWF In Your House 2: The Lumberjacks Review

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that offends more than a Jim Cornette Podcast Rant! It’s WWF in Your House 2, the WWF second crack at more pay per views than the usual five throughout the year. A smaller card once more but it’s absolutely stacked. From The Allied Powers against Owen Hart & Yokozuna, Shawn Michaels vs Jeff Jarrett for The Intercontinental Championship and a Lumberjack match for the WWF Championship as Diesel defends against Sycho Sid. King of The Ring 1995 was awful so anything will be better and I have a good feeling for sure with this smaller card. Oh God, do not let me be wrong as we are ready to kick things off!

 

The 1-2-3 Kid vs The Roadie

Kid jumps Roadie to kick us off, Roadie bears down on the neck with kicks. It’s stated that Roadie injured Kid’s neck, shoulder block from Roadie. Kid leapfrogs and rolls through, tripping up Roadie. Kid kicks Roadie in the corner, Roadie reverses the Irish whip. Kid lands the headscissors which leads Roadie to the floor, Roadie has no clue where he is as the referee begins counting. Slingshot kick from Kid, Roadie is tossed back in the ring. Jumping kick in the corner, hard whip to the buckle and a crossbody splash. Another whip, Roadie counters with a powerslam. Roadie lands an apron diving clothesline, Roadie sends Kid into the ring-post by the groin. Roadie whips Kid, flapjack from Roadie into a big leg drop. Make it two, Roadie bows for the fans.

 

 

Back body-drop from Roadie, Roadie begins dancing from the middle rope. Boot from Roadie, two for Roadie. Shoulder claw from Roadie, Roadie tries a top rope splash and ends up eating the canvas. Roadie misses two rights, Kid lands two rights before a spinning heel kick floors Roadie. Two for Kid, Roadie is sent to the buckle. Corner dropkick from Kid, Frog Splash from Kid for a close two. Kid misses a clothesline, attempting a hurricanrana but Roadie counters for a powerbomb. Two for Roadie, Roadie sends Kid to the buckle hard. Roadie tries a spear, Kid dodges and Roadie hits the ring-post hard. Kid is crotched on the top rope, Middle Rope Piledriver and this is over.

 

 

Well that’s a spectacular finish especially when someone’s neck is their weak point. Eat your heart out Rhino, I can’t believe Roadie absolutely smashed Kid like that. Kid bumping around like a maniac makes all of his opponents look good and makes for entertaining matches for sure. Good choice of opening match for sure, can’t help but feel Kid deserves more due to the quality of his work and how Kid makes everyone he works with, look fantastic.

 

Winner: The Roadie over The Kid via Top Rope Piledriver!

 

Men On A Mission vs Razor Ramon & Savio Vega

Ramon’s ribs are still taped up but The Bad Guy is here for revenge against King Mabel who attacked Ramon following his victory over Ramon’s friend Savio Vega. Mo slaps Ramon to kick us off, Sir Mo takes the arm before Ramon buries shoulders into Sir Mo. Fallaway slam and slap from Ramon, tag to Savio. Big right hand from Savio, Irish whip reversed by Sir Mo. Chops and right hands from Savio, clothesline from Savio. Sir Mo knees Savio and clubs down Savio, tag to King Mabel. Mo whips Mabel into the corner but Savio dodged, superkick to Mabel. Irish whip but Mabel reverses for a sidewalk slam, Mabel is fired up now. Savio is dumped to the floor, Ramon and Mabel are jaw-jacking with the referee breaking that action up as Mo attacks Savio.

 

 

Savio is whipped to the buckle hard, and an enzuigiri from Mabel. Cover for two, in comes Sir Mo. Clothesline for two, snap suplex from Mo for two. Mabel comes in, clubbing blows to Savio. Irish whip and elbow from Mabel, Savio is reaching out for Ramon. Scoop slam from Mabel, snap-mare into a shoulder claw. Savio chops back at Mabel before trying a scoop slam, Mabel falls on top of Savio. Two for Mabel, huge toss from Mabel. Tag to Sir Mo, double elbows from Men On A Mission. Mo knocks down Ramon who is irate, Mabel gives Savio a hot-shot using the top rope. Sir Mo chokes Savio before tagging Mabel, drop toehold and leg drop combination from Men on A Mission.

 

 

Mabel tags Mo, scoop slam. Sir Mo is on the middle rope, make that the top rope. Savio dodges the moonsault, Savio manages to tag Ramon. Right hands and a discuss punch to Sir Mo, Sir Mo begs off which leads to a super back suplex from The Bad Guy. Ramon calls for the finish, Mabel is cracked in the face. Sir Mo knees Ramon, eye rake from Sir Mo. Tag to Mabel, scoop slam on Ramon, Mabel is on the top rope. Ramon plays possum and pulls Mabel off the top rope for a close two. Ramon lands a clothesline, Sir Mo nails Ramon with a knee from the apron. DDT from Mabel, Ramon dodges the splash. Sir Mo attacks Ramon which leads to Savio clotheslining Mo to the floor. Ramon pummels Mabel with right hands, Ramon is sent to the buckle, splash from Mabel. Belly to belly suplex and Mabel pins Ramon.

 

 

Talk about sucking the life out of a building, cannot believe that Ramon was the one to eat the pin! I am guessing they will talk about how the injured ribs were a factor but another shocker as Mabel continues to beat some of the biggest names in the WWF. Solid tag match, Sir Mo does well as an antagonizing little shit who beats on Savio, Savio plays a decent face-in-peril who builds well to the hot-tag to The Bad Guy. Talk about putting someone over though, big win for Mabel!

 

Winners: Men on A Mission over Razor Ramon & Savio Vega via Belly To Belly Suplex!

 

Henry O Godwinn vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Since turning babyface, it seems Bigelow has been reinvigorated as Bigelow has new tights, new entrance gear and a new attitude. Godwinn wants to be part of The Million Dollar Corporation so these two will now battle it out in this match. Godwinn back suplexes Bigelow to no effect, Bigelow lands his own back suplexes and a DDT before Godwinn low-bridges Bigelow. Scoop slam on the floor, Bigelow is rammed into the steel steps. Bigelow sends Godwinn to the buckle, Godwinn dodges the splash. Clothesline from Godwinn for two, reverse chin-lock from Godwinn. Bigelow fights back but Godwinn is too strong, Bigelow is choked on the middle rope. Scoop slam from Godwinn, massive elbow for two.

 

 

Boot to the face, Bigelow is sent to the buckle hard but Bigelow explodes out with a clothesline. Headbutts by Bigelow, big boot from Bigelow. Godwinn dodges Bigelow’s diving headbutt, elbow drop from Godwinn. Godwinn goes to the middle rope, the knee drop misses and Bigelow pins Godwinn.

 

 

Little bit of an odd ending for me, was not expecting it to end off a missed knee drop. Happy for Bigelow to be picking up the wins he needed as the monster heel push never came, a nothing match for sure though.

 

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow over Henry O Godwinn via Roll-Up!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Jeff Jarrett © W/ The Roadie vs Shawn Michaels

Moving on from the fiasco that was King of The Ring, Shawn Michaels is in a match worth watching and for a championship that Michaels had done so well to make important during his own reign. Jarrett has beaten the man that took it from Michaels and took it from his former friend Diesel, that being Razor Ramon. Jarrett and Ramon had great chemistry and I think that this will be no different. Jarrett and Michaels lock-up, right hand by Jarrett leads to right hand from HBK.

 

 

Arm-drag from Jarrett, Jarrett struts around the ring proud of his work. Arm-wringers from both men, Jarrett grabs the hair but misses the right hand. Michaels whips Jarrett to the corner, Jarrett leaps over Michaels and waffles HBK with a right hand. Michaels takes a breather on the floor, Jarrett poses on the corner just like Michaels did at the start of the match. Lock-up, side headlock from Double J. Shove off, Michaels blocks the hip-toss but Michaels lands the eye poke. Right hands from HBK, Michaels is sent to the buckle and leaps over Jarrett. Right hand and hip-toss, clothesline to the floor and Michaels skins the cat before strutting around the ring. Jarrett thinks about running away but Michaels won’t let that happen.

 

 

Michaels tries a diving axe handle, gut punch from Double J. Knee attack across the back from Double J, Michaels regains control though as Roadie is on the apron. Roadie misses a clothesline and Michaels eye pokes Roadie and tosses Jarrett into Roadie on the floor. Michaels climbs to the top rope and dives onto both with a crossbody. Michaels lands a baseball slide too, pulling Jarrett into the ring. Jarrett is faked out by Michaels who lands a middle rope sunset flip for two, Michaels charges at Jarrett who back-drops Michaels over the ring-post and to the floor. That looks like a brutal bump! Jarrett rams Michaels into the steel steps over and over, front suplex from Double J for two. Irish whip and abdominal stretch from Double J, Jarrett continues squeezing Roadie’s hand for added leverage.

 

 

Michaels lowers his head off an Irish whip, DDT from Double J. Jarrett chokes Michaels with his boot on the middle rope, Roadie chokes HBK behind the referee’s back. Roadie tries it again but Michaels drags Roadie into the ring, Jarrett attacks Roadie by mistake. O’Connor roll from Michaels for two, Jarrett whips Michaels to the floor by way of the corner buckle. Jarrett distracts the referee as Roadie lands another apron diving clothesline on Michaels. Michaels makes it into the ring at the count of nine, Jarrett goes to the top rope. Diving Crossbody but Michaels rolls through for a close two, Jarrett uses a crucifix to get a sunset flip but Michaels nails Jarrett with a right hand.

 

 

Both men trade pin-fall attempts before Jarrett nails a dropkick for two, sleeper from the champion. Michaels does not fade in the sleeper, belly to back suplex takes down Jarrett. Michaels covers for two before landing a massive flying forearm, kip-up from Michaels. Whip to the buckle and another flying forearm, stomp to the face. Diving top rope axe handle for two, scoop slam as HBK climbs to the top rope. Diving Elbow Drop connects for two, Michaels sends Jarrett to the buckle. Jarrett puts the feet up but Michaels slides under and Jarrett has his special parts pulled into the ring-post. Michaels climbs the top rope, Roadie shakes the rope and Michaels is crotched. Jarrett clubs Michaels, superplex connects in the middle of the ring.

 

 

Jarrett tries a Figure Four but Michaels counters for a small package, two for Michaels. Shin-breaker from Jarrett, Jarrett tries again but Michaels shoves off Jarrett into the referee. Roadie surveys the scene, Michaels is measuring Double J. As Michaels readies to kick off the head of Double J, Roadie smashes Michaels with a chop block. Michaels clutches his hamstring, diving crossbody from the champion for two. Irish whip, Roadie grabs the leg of Double J which allows Sweet Chin Music to take place, Roadie turned his back and grabbed the foot without looking. Roadie has cost Double J his championship!

 

 

Excellent match from these two, Jarrett is his usual self here with some solid heel work mixed in with spots and selling that makes his opponent look credible inside of that ring. Roadie is a constant annoyance at ringside, getting involved to rile up the fans at all the right times and Michaels is Michaels. Michaels takes an incredible bump to the floor, I would have liked to have seen a bit more in terms of back-breakers and such to sell the story of Michaels destroying his back off the bump but take nothing away from these two. This is a really entertaining and fun match from two great workers in the WWF. Michaels is starting to put it all together inside of the ring, the comeback needs a bit more work but we are close, looking forward to things developing as the year progresses.

 

Winner: Shawn Michaels over Jeff Jarrett via Sweet Chin Music!

 

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) Owen Hart & Yokozuna © W/ Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji vs The Allied Powers (British Bulldog & Lex Luger)

I found myself questioning whether WWF was even in the WWF anymore due to how Luger has been booked as 1994 turned into 1995. Also, I feel like British Bulldog vs Owen Hart really never happened despite it being teased so heavily during Bob Backlund vs Bret Hart. I mean, Davey Boy eliminated Owen from the Rumble, the issues were there so why have they not met for months since?

 

 

Luger and Yokozuna to kick us off, they lock-up with Yokozuna landing a headbutt and throat thrusts to thwart Luger’s attempts to get started. Luger dodges an elbow drop after a scoop slam, Luger grabs an arm-wringer. Yokozuna pushes Luger to the buckle, Luger sends Yokozuna into the buckle over and over. Right hands from Luger, Yokozuna is staggering and falls into the buckle with Yokozuna falling on the boot of Owen. Owen shoves Yokozuna, Yokozuna shoves back at Owen. Owen and Luger reset the match, shoulder block and hip-toss from Luger, arm-drag and tag to Bulldog. Diving axe handle from Bulldog, Owen flips out of the arm-wringer. Owen pulls down Bulldog by the hair, Bulldog kips-up and twists out of the hold, they continue to counter one another. Flapjack by Bulldog, catapult to the buckle. Luger lands a few shots too, clothesline by Bulldog for two. Bulldog lands a shoulder block before Yokozuna clubs down Bulldog from the apron.

 

 

Owen lands a kick to the groin and a wishbone-split, Yokozuna is legal now. Falling headbutt from Yokozuna, shoulder claw from Yokozuna. Owen comes in, landing a spinning heel kick on Bulldog. Two for Owen, Owen wants a back drop but Bulldog lands a sunset flip for two. Enzuigiri from Owen for two, Owen whips Bulldog to the buckle and Bulldog dodges the attack of Owen. Bulldog tags in Luger while Owen tags in Yokozuna, Luger pummels everything in sight. Owen is yanked off the top rope, corner shots to Yokozuna. Luger throws Owen on top of Yokozuna, double clothesline to Owen and then Yokozuna. Luger covers for two, Owen makes the save. Owen and Bulldog begin brawling, forearms to the face. Yokozuna tries a corner splash, Bulldog dodges. Double belly to back suplex on Yokozuna, Luger has the cover but Owen comes off the top rope with a diving elbow to the back of Luger’s head. Yokozuna covers after a leg drop and the champions retain their championships!

 

 

Well I suppose we could do a rematch at Summerslam because I cannot see the purpose of either team apart from a big championship change to get Bulldog & Luger back on track. Yokozuna was fine in the tag setting, Yokozuna needs to lighten the load quite a bit as the former WWF Champions is blown up far too easy now. Owen and Bulldog were fantastic when allowed to do their thing in a one vs one setting, I would much rather see those two wrestle and settle their Family Feud than this tag team match. It’s hard to see how this Tag Team Championship angle with Owen and Yokozuna will end, only time will tell I guess?

 

Winners: Owen Hart & Yokozuna over The Allied Powers via Leg Drop!

 

(WWF Championship Lumberjack Match) Diesel © vs Sycho Sid W/ Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase!

Sid jumps Diesel but Diesel fires back, no elbow trouble for Big Daddy Cool. Forearms send Sid to the floor, the babyface lumberjacks throw Sid back into the ring. Sid crawls out into the sea of his heel lumberjacks and there is no problem, Sid sends Diesel to the floor and the heels stomp the life out of Diesel. Michaels and Razor Ramon begin brawling with the heels to save Diesel, Sid covers for two. Sid kicks at Diesel, big clothesline floors the champion. Diesel is battered by Sid, some heel lumberjacks gets some shots in as Diesel’s head was a little too close to the outside of the ring. Diesel begins fighting back though, blocking the rights of Sid. Clothesline from Diesel, elbow drop from Diesel.

 

 

Make it two, Diesel dives onto the heels and starts battering everyone who is dumb enough to swing at the champion. Diesel drives his knee into Sid’s back, snake eyes for Sid. Diesel was about to run the ropes before Mabel squishes Diesel against the ring-post, scoop slam on the floor. Babyfaces and heels are brawling as Mabel lays out the WWF Champion. Sid covers Diesel for a close two, Sid applies a reverse chin-lock. Sid looks for The Powerbomb, Sid drops Diesel and begins high-fiving everyone at ringside. 1…2… Diesel manages to kick out of the powerbomb, Sid wants to try it again but Diesel back-drops Sid. Sid instigates a brawl on the floor, Shawn Michaels dives onto Sid with a diving axe handle. IRS is in the ring, Godwinn and Tatanka are down. Sid eats a big boot and it’s over!

 

 

What? A boot after all that? One of the softest boots I have ever seen? Why would you do that? If you are going to put Diesel over Sid, why no Jacknife Powerbomb? Very anti-climatic end to the pay per view, I will say that I did enjoy the lumberjack stuff though. They made it feel important with Sid securing control because of the lumberjacks assaulting the champion. We also had a nice build to Mabel vs Diesel due to their altercation during the match so that’s all good but what a flat end to this feud and pay per view, I wish things were better going into Summerslam!

 

Winner: Diesel over Sycho Sid via Big Boot!

 

That was WWF’s In Your House 2, another solid showing from the WWF in 1995. In Your House continues to blow away the regular PPVs due to the smaller number of matches and the shorter run-time. We kick things off with Roadie vs The 1-2-3 Kid, a match that blows away anything they would do 4 years later at Summerslam. Kid bumps around and we have a sick finish with a piledriver delivered to someone with a bad neck, vicious and fitting which is far more than I could have hoped for from these two. Things continue with Men on A Mission vs Razor Ramon & Savio Vega, a good match considering who was involved. Ramon brings a lot of fire, Mabel is strong while Savio sells as a babyface-in-peril, it’s all good stuff. Bam Bam Bigelow vs Henry O Godwinn is fine, could have been worse and that’s for the best.

 

Michaels vs Jarrett is incredible, they have a great match with a fast pace that kicks so much ass. Love a lot of the elements of the match and the finish has the fans going ballistic, it’s hard to ignore what the fans are saying when it comes to HBK. This match is a lot of fun, it’s worth searching out and arguably Jeff Jarrett’s best match in the WWF. Allied Powers vs Owen Hart & Yokozuna is another fun tag match, there is nothing wrong with this match I am just as always really interested to see where things end up between Owen Hart & Yokozuna The main event is disappointing for sure, a flat end to a big feud that I was definitely interested in, things went wrong with King of The Ring and this climax to Sid vs Diesel is just the worst. I do not want to see these two anywhere near one another, I am interested in Sid vs Michaels though, it has to be coming considering what Sid did to HBK. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

WWF Royal Rumble 1995 Review

 

Hello and welcome to another edition Of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that drags you down worse than an IRS match! It’s time for WWF Royal Rumble 1995, here we go the beginning of the dreaded worst year in the WWF. The card is filled with matches like Double J vs Razor Ramon for the WWF Intercontinental Championship, The Undertaker vs IRS, Bret Hart vs the new WWF Champion Diesel and The Royal Rumble match itself. Will this be as bad as everyone says it was? Will 1995 start off strong with the rumble? Let’s find out!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Razor Ramon © vs Jeff Jarrett W/ The Roadie

Two big rights floor Jarrett, Jarrett leaps over and slaps Ramon. Crossbody fails as Ramon lands a fallaway slam. Chokeslam from Ramon, Jarrett powders to the floor. Arm-drag and strut from Double J, Jarrett takes the back. Ramon reverses before Jarrett leg-trips Ramon. Arm-wringer from Jarrett, Ramon counters for a hammerlock. Jarrett takes down Ramon with a drop toehold and slaps the head of Ramon, Ramon cannot believe the nerve of Jeff Jarrett. Side headlock from Jarrett leads to a right hand from Ramon, clothesline to the floor. Jarrett recovers on the floor, taking a drink of water.

 

 

Lock-up, Ramon takes the arm nailing shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust. Arm-bar from Ramon, Ramon paintbrushes Jarrett. Jarrett lands three dropkicks, knee across the back from the challenger. Big clothesline from Jarrett for two, hard whip to the buckle twice. Enzuigiri misses but Ramon misses an elbow drop, reverse chin-lock from Jarrett. Ramon escapes for a backslide, two for Ramon. Jarrett fires back with a clothesline, sunset flip attempt from Jarrett for two. Massive dropkick floors Ramon for two, big right hand from the challenger. Sleeper from Double J, Ramon shoves off Jarrett. Jarrett slides through the legs and lands a neck-breaker, Jarrett uses the ropes for leverage but the referee catches Double J in the act.

 

 

A right hand rocks Ramon, make it two. Irish whip reversed, Jarrett is caught by the feet and pulled groin-first into the ring-post. Middle rope bulldog from Ramon for two, Jarrett side-steps Ramon who clutches his knee. Roadie clips the knee with a massive chop-block, the knee comes into play for once on Ramon. Ramon does not make it back into the ring, Jeff Jarrett wins the match. Jarrett is on the microphone, Jarrett does not want to see the match end this way. Jarrett calls Ramon a coward over and over, Ramon says bring it on Country Music Star. The match will restart, Jarrett is like “I have you now boy”. Ramon cannot catch Jarrett, schoolboy from Ramon for two.

 

 

Jarrett stomps the knee over and over, Ramon is crying out in pain. Scoop slam is countered for a small package from Ramon for two. Shin-breaker from Jarrett, Ramon’s knee is driven into the ground. “You ain’t so bad now” screams The Roadie as Jarrett drops all his weight on the leg of Ramon. Jarrett tries it one too many times though, Ramon kicks Jarrett to the floor. Jarrett smashes Ramon’s leg off the apron, Figure Four Leg-Lock from Jarrett. Centre of the ring, nowhere to go. Ramon wriggles and wriggles but the hold is not broken, Ramon slaps the taste out of Jarrett’s mouth. Right hands from Ramon, Ramon places Jarrett on the top rope. Super back suplex but Jarrett rolls through but Ramon rolls through for two, clothesline from Ramon who is down to a knee after nailing the manoeuvre.

 

 

Ramon surveys the scene, Ramon says finish it. Razor’s Edge does not connect as the leg gives out on the champion. Ramon collapses to the mat holding his damaged leg. Jarrett takes advantage and manages to roll up Ramon and wins the championship!

 

 

Interesting for sure, Ramon runs through his entire offence but the leg comes into play! It finally happens as Ramon takes the side-step bump and clutches his leg, one nasty looking chop block and the story is in play. Jarrett tortures the leg of Ramon, nothing spectacular but solid attacks to the knee. Ramon battles through, the crowd is tremendously invested in Ramon during this fight. The fans are all in, when Ramon calls for The Razor’s Edge you are thinking it does not get much better than this. However, the knee collapses and Jarrett steals a win, enjoyable opening match for sure. If only we could have tidied up the finish a little bit, Ramon tried to fight through it but it cost him. Maybe a hold working the leg or something better than just a roll-up to protect The Bad Guy as Ramon could easily be WWF Champion during this time.

 

Winner: Jeff Jarrett over Razor Ramon via Small Package!

 

IRS W/ Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase vs The Undertaker W/ Paul Bearer

IRS attacks Taker after much stalling, the attack does not have the desired effect. Much more stalling, we eventually have some action as Taker boots IRS down. IRS is thrown by his tie across the ring, Old School connects. Dibiase is on the apron, IRS punches Dibiase by mistake. IRS is clotheslined to the floor, IRS and Dibiase are having words. The Druids are brought out, IRS eats an elbow. Arm-wringer and Taker wants Old School again, IRS yanks Taker down with help from the druids. Throat thrust, IRS manages to clothesline Taker to the floor. Taker chokes the druids before IRS makes the save with an axe handle. Taker is rammed into the steel steps, the druids attack Taker behind the referee’s back.

 

 

Abdominal stretch, IRS uses the ropes for leverage. Again and again, IRS cheats before a hip-toss from Taker. Scoop slam, IRS dodges a big elbow drop. Taker sits-up, back elbow from IRS and a clothesline connects. Elbow drops from IRS, leg drop too. IRS misses a splash, both men bang heads. A druid pulls IRS on top of Taker, 1…2.. Taker sits up. Druid is choked on the apron, IRS is sent into the druid. Tombstone Piledriver is stopped as Taker kicks the druids, Write-Off from IRS.

 

 

Paul Bearer cannot believe, the power of the urn as Taker sits up one more time. IRS boots Taker, Taker ducks the Irish whip. Chokeslam from Taker, it’s enough.

 

 

Talk about a flat ending, they looked like they had a conversation about whether they should stop there or not. This match was as painful as I thought an IRS match with Taker would be, wise to stall for so long. Nobody wanted to see IRS try to outwrestle Undertaker, thank God it’s over. Bundy comes out and we are set for Wrestlemania as IRS steals the urn from Paul Bearer.

 

Winner: The Undertaker over IRS via Chokeslam!

 

(WWF Championship Match) Diesel © vs Bret Hart

Transitional Champion Bob Backlund is well and truly out of the picture as we enter a new era focusing on Diesel, Diesel faces his toughest test yet as he battles The Hitman. Finally, Diesel has a decent theme. Is Diesel ready for this though? These two told quite the story at King of The Ring 1994, can Diesel and Bret Hart do it again?

 

 

Diesel throws Bret to the buckle with ease, Bret takes the back. Diesel looks to shake The Hitman, Bret wants the leg. Diesel is in the ropes, Diesel and Bret begin slugging it out. Bret wants to make Diesel mad, Diesel clubs down Bret. Bret runs into a scoop slam, Diesel misses an elbow drop though. Bret lands a clothesline, elbow counter from Diesel who clotheslines Bret to the floor. Bret and Diesel brawl, Diesel is knocked to the floor with a right hand. Bret trips up Diesel, Diesel’s leg is sent into the ring-post over and over. Knees to the inside of the leg, Bret clamps on a rest-hold to wear down Big Daddy Cool. Leg trip from Bret, Bret wrenches the leg again and again.

 

 

Figure four from Bret, Diesel reaches the ropes but Bret drags out Diesel and applies the figure four once more. Bret does not break the hold when the referee asks The Hitman, a little bit of a more aggressive attitude on display from The Hitman. Suicide dive from Bret who lands big rights to the face of Diesel, Diesel meets the ring-post. Things change though as Diesel sends Bret into the steel steps, Diesel whips Bret hard into the buckle. Elbows and knees from Diesel, monstrous sidewalk slam. Two for Diesel, Diesel chokes Bret with a knee across the back. Diesel drops all his weight across the back of Bret, back-breaker from Diesel. Diesel whips Bret into the buckle, Argentine back-breaker from Diesel.

 

 

Bret fights though to break loose, sleeper from Bret but Diesel snap-mares his way out of that hold. Diesel waffles Bret with a big boot, Diesel lands a big elbow drop for two. Diesel sends Bret to the corner, Bret kicks away Diesel and lands a massive clothesline. Bret goes high again, Diesel tries a gorilla press slam but Bret falls on Diesel. Two for Bret, Bret trips up Diesel and ties his feet together using his wrist-tape. Diesel is a sitting duck, Bret beats the piss out of Diesel before the referee saves the champion. Running bulldog for two, gut punch into the Russian leg-sweep for two. Back-breaker from Bret, Bret’s Rope Elbow Drop for two. Bret wants a sharpshooter but the referee asks Diesel to break the hold as Diesel is in the ropes.

 

 

Diesel is clotheslined to the floor, landing on his feet. Bret tries a plancha but Diesel catches The Hitman. Bret is sent into the ring-post, Diesel calls for The Jacknife Powerbomb. Diesel plants Bret with the powerbomb, Shawn Michaels is here and Michaels destroys the knee of Diesel. The match is continuing after blatant interference, Bret goes after the leg of Diesel who is down once again. Figure four for the third time, Diesel screams out in pain. Diesel uses his amazing height to land a gut punch on The Hitman, breaking the hold. Bret has Diesel in the corner, wrenching on the leg using the ropes.

 

 

Diesel dodges a corner splash, Diesel lands massive punches. Knees to the ribs, knees to the spine. Diesel gets a two, Diesel chokes Bret in the corner with his boot. Diesel misses a corner big boot, Bret rolls to the floor again. Bret has a chair, Diesel is waffled in the leg with a chair. No DQ? How? Sharpshooter from Bret, Owen Hart interferes and smashes Bret. How is this not a DQ? Bret is sent into the exposed turnbuckle, Owen calls Bret a loser and leaves the arena. The match continues though, ridiculous though. Diesel crawls over for the pin, 1….2… Bret manages to kick out! Diesel is sent into the exposed buckle, right hands from Bret.

 

 

Diesel is staggering like he did during their King of The Ring match, Diesel tees off with forearms to the face of Bret. Bret is hanging by his foot in the ropes, Diesel hobbles around the ring to grab a chair. Bret manages to escape, Bret holds his leg. Diesel is rolled up for two, right hands and headbutts from Bret. Diesel reverses the Irish whip, O’Connor roll wipes out the referee. Michaels attacks Diesel, Owen Hart and Bob Backlund attack Bret.

 

 

So we had two incidents that could have ended in a DQ only for this match to end in a DQ anyways? Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought this was clever booking? Why not have Diesel go over someone in his first championship defence? The match itself was good, Bret trying to get under Diesel’s skin and the attempts to destroy the leg was all very good, the interference put me off the match for sure, it’s not hitting the same spot as The King of The Ring match but then again, Neidhart ruined that one so we still do not have a decisive winner between these two which is shocking. So, the officiating makes little sense to me, both men have rivals coming into the match so will they squash those feuds at Mania or would we be able to do four corners between Michaels, Owen, Diesel and Bret? Of course, it does not happen but an interesting thought to consider.

 

Match is Thrown Out Due To Inability To Maintain Control!

 

(Vacant WWF Tag Team Championship Match) 1-2-3 Kid & Sparky Plugg vs Bam Bam Bigelow & Tatanka W/ Ted Dibiase

So Plugg made his debut at this event a year ago and I don’t think has made it onto the card since while Kid continues to make other wrestlers impressive with his bumping and selling. Let’s see if Tatanka and Bigelow can get back on track, Plugg and Tatanka start the match with Tatanka shoving Plugg all around the ring. Plugg is chopped, Irish whip with Plugg ducking a clothesline before eating a sidewalk slam. Headscissors takedown counter from Plugg, two dropkicks from Plugg. Bigelow comes in, eating a drop toehold. Double back elbow does not work as Bigelow walks through Plugg & Kid with a clothesline.

 

 

Kid is tossed the full length of the ring, headbutt from Bigelow. Kid counters a powerbomb for an amazing hurricanrana, Kid misses a spinning heel kick though and Bigelow lands an enzuigiri. Tag to Tatanka, chop to the corner. Clubbing blows to Kid, Irish whip to the opposite buckle and Kid is down. Tatanka does it twice, tag to Bigelow. Kid is punched in the ribs, Kid fires back with rights and lefts. A dropkick shoves back Bigelow before Bigelow sends Kid into the mat. Suplex from Bigelow, shoulder block from Bigelow. Kid back-drops Bigelow to the floor, Tatanka enters illegally. Tatanka is dropkicked into Bigelow, tag to Plugg. Double crossbodies do not work, Bigelow & Tatanka are shoved into one another. Plugg gets a schoolboy for two, beautiful dropkick for two.

 

 

Clotheslines from Plugg, Tatanka ducks the third clothesline and Bigelow pulls down the ropes. Plugg crashes to the floor, Kid is distracted by Tatanka as the referee restrains Kid. Bigelow sends Plugg into the ring-post, scoop slam and elbow drop from Tatanka for two. Massive clothesline from Tatanka, Tatanka poses in front of all the fans. Plugg crawls towards Kid but Kid cannot reach Plugg. Scoop slams from Tatanka, Tatanka lands a cheap-shot on Kid. Powerslam by Tatanka for two, Bigelow switches with Tatanka. Plugg avoids the diving tomahawk chop, Tatanka has flattened Bigelow. Bigelow is clutching his eye. Kid and Tatanka are having words as Plugg is squashed by Bigelow in the corner, Plugg is stomped on and sent to the floor by Bigelow.

 

 

Bigelow motions that the championships will be around the waist of The Million Dollar Team, Plugg tries an apron sunset flip but Bigelow sits down on Plugg. Massive enzuigiri from Bigelow for two, Tatanka receives the tag and hammers Plugg. The Million Dollar Team batter Plugg, gut-wrench suplex from Tatanka. Clothesline from Tatanka, Plugg fights out from the corner. Tatanka lands an eye rake, down goes Plugg. Both men try a crossbody, both men are down after colliding in the middle of the ring, Kid flies in with a spinning heel kick. Missile dropkick from Kid, Tatanka is kicked off the apron. Tope con hilo from Kid to the floor, Diving crossbody on Bigelow for two. Tatanka makes the save, Plugg dropkicks Tatanka to the floor. Dibiase is on the apron, Kid is pressed to the floor.

 

 

Scoop slam from Bigelow, Tatanka runs the ropes which knocks Bigelow off the top rope. Bigelow cracks his head off the canvas, Plugg wants Kid to wake up. Kid crawls and crawls, Bigelow is out-cold. Plugg and Kid win the championships, I don’t believe it!

 

 

Yeah that was garbage, Bob Holly as a babyface in peril is torture, that heat segment was so dull and lifeless, I cannot believe I had to sit through such shite. I got really scared when The Kid was pressed to the floor, I thought oh my God, we are going to reset with Kid in peril but no, the match ended seconds later. However, Tatanka trying to attack Kid while Bigelow was clearly on the top rope, are you joking me? How could anybody not see Bigelow on the top rope? I am not buying that for a second, Kid’s crawl made it worse as Bigelow was comically knocked out and lay there for quite some time.

 

Winners: Sparky Plugg & 123 Kid over The Million Dollar Team!

 

The Royal Rumble

30 men, one winner and that winner will go to Wrestlemania to challenge the WWF Champion. Both feet have to touch the floor for elimination to occur, you must throw your opponent over the top rope. Always a fun one to watch, a staple of The WWF by this time.

 

Entrants 1 to 5

I break them into blocks of five, makes it easier to follow. Number 1 is Shawn Michaels and number 2 is The British Bulldog. We kick off fast, back body-drop and gorilla press slam from Bulldog. Michaels is spun inside-out by a clothesline, Michaels flips out of the corner. Number three is Eli Blu (Who?) One of The Harris Brothers before shaved heads, Blu sends Michaels to the buckle. Bulldog tries throwing out Eli but Eli hangs on as we have number four. Number four is Duke Droese, wow we are showcasing the cream of the crop right now aren’t we? Duke slams Michaels down, bearhug from Duke. Eli stomps Bulldog, number five is Jimmy Del Ray.

 

Numbers 6 to 10

Del Ray and Duke battle it out, Michaels helps Del Ray tee off on Duke. Del Ray pummels Michaels, Michaels look to be the excitement of this match once more. Number six is Seone aka The Barbarian, Seone headbutts Michaels. Seone almost dumps out Michaels but Michaels holds on while Bulldog grabs Del Ray and tosses Del Ray over the top rope.

 

Jimmy Del Ray has been Eliminated by The British Bulldog!

 

Number seven is Dr. Tom Prichard, Seone almost presses Michaels to the floor. Eli attacks Prichard in the corner, multiple shoulder thrusts from Eli. Number eight is Doink, Doink attacks Seone but that does not go well for The Clown. Bulldog and Prichard are going at it as everyone pairs off to do generic corner stuff, Duke is choking Michaels with the ropes. Number nine is Kwang, the martial arts expert. Kwang strikes at everyone who moves, number ten is Rick Martel (Martel is still in the WWF in 1995???)

 

Entrants 11 to 15

The ring is filling up big time, we need someone to come in and clear things out. Who will it be though? When will it happen? Number eleven is Owen Hart, things have become a lot more interesting, Bret’s here and Bret is destroying Owen before Owen can reach the ring. Surely, these two will battle at Wrestlemania again? Number twelve is Timothy Well, the crowd erupts but it’s because Owen Hart is dumped out immediately. Duke Droese, Rick Martel and Dr. Tom Prichard are dumped out before Kwang kicks out Doink. Eli and Seone dump one another out while number thirteen is Buswhacker Luke who is dumped out by Michaels. Number fourteen is Jacob Blu who is tossed out by Shawn Michaels! Number fifteen is King Kong Bundy!

 

Owen Hart has been Eliminated by British Bulldog!

 

Duke Droese has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Rick Martel has been Eliminated by Seone!

 

Doink has been Eliminated by Kwang!

 

Kwang/Eli/Seone have all been Eliminated!

 

Bushwhacker Luke/Jacob Blu have been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Number 16 to 20

Number sixteen is Mo from Men on a Mission, Bundy throws out Mo instantly!

 

Mo has been Eliminated by King Kong Bundy!

 

Number seventeen is Mabel, Oscar appears for the second time. Mabel and Bundy square up, Bundy hammers Mabel. Mabel hammers Bundy back, Mabel almost tosses out Bundy. Number eighteen is Bushwhacker Butch, Bushwhackers and Martel in 1995? After a titanic struggle, Mabel tosses out Bundy! Michaels tosses out Bushwhacker Butch with ease! Number nineteen is Lex Luger who tosses out Mabel immediately, number twenty is Mantaur.

 

King Kong Bundy has been Eliminated by Mabel!

 

Bushwhacker Butch has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Mabel has been Eliminated by Lex Luger!

 

Entrants 21 to 25

Mantaur for God sake, Mantaur hip-tosses Bulldog. Number twenty-one is Aldo Montoya, my boy. Aldo and Michaels battle it out, Michaels jabs away at Montoya. Mantaur is hugging Luger in the corner, Michaels continues to dominate Montoya. Number twenty-two is Henry Godwinn, Mantaur chops Montoya in the corner. Number twenty-three is Billy Gunn, Billy goes after Mantaur. Mantaur clubs down Billy, number twenty-four is Bart Gunn. That’s the second time two tag team members have entered back to back in this Rumble. Number twenty-five is Bob Backlund, good old Bob.

 

Entrants 26 to 30

Bret attacks Backlund, this raises the question: Why did Diesel not batter Michaels? Number twenty-six is Steven Dunn (This Well-Dun tag team sounds awful) Backlund enters the ring only for Luger to dump out the former WWF Champion.

 

Bob Backlund has been Eliminated by Lex Luger!

 

Number twenty-seven is Dick Murdoch (You are kidding me) Had no clue Murdoch was in the WWF, ring is filling up with a lot of talent right now. Number twenty-eight is Adam Bomb, lots of chops and punches in the corner. Number twenty-nine is Fatu, Fatu and Billy slug it out. Luger dumps out Mantaur.

 

Mantaur has been Eliminated by Lex Luger!

 

Number thirty is Crush, Billy and Bart start fighting so Crush dumps them out! Montoya dumps out Steven Dunn.

 

The Smoking Gunns have been Eliminated by Crush!

 

Steven Dunn has been Eliminated by Aldo Montoya!

 

Adam Bomb and Crush are brawling in one corner, Bulldog helps Adam Bomb with Crush but Crush hangs on, Fatu and Crush are brawling before Godwinn decides to get involved. Murdoch tries eliminating Michaels, Michaels survives thanks to Luger. Fatu headbutts Murdoch who is down hurt, Michaels is being rocked around the ring. Crush ducks a clothesline and sends Adam Bomb over the top rope.

 

Adam Bomb has been Eliminated by Crush!

 

Fatu hammers Crush, superkick rocks Crush while Michaels grabs Montoya who is dumped to the floor. Crush clotheslines the life out of Fatu and dumps The Headshrinker! Dick Murdoch tries an airplane spin, Murdoch dizzies himself out and sails over the top rope.

 

Aldo Montoya has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels[SOC1] !

 

Fatu has been Eliminated by Crush!

 

Dick Murdoch has Eliminated Himself!

 

Henry Godwinn measures Lex Luger, Luger manages to duck the clothesline and send Godwinn to the floor. We are down to the final four with Luger, Bulldog, Crush and Michaels.

 

Henry Godwinn has been Eliminated by Lex Luger!

 

Luger fights off Michaels and Crush, Luger wants Crush. Whatever happened to their feud, Luger has Crush in the corner but Michaels pushes Luger over the top rope.

 

Lex Luger has been Eliminated by Shawn Michaels!

 

Crush and Michaels combine to attack Bulldog, double clothesline on Bulldog. Crush says screw the team, Michaels is about to be thrown out but Michaels rakes the eyes, Bulldog clotheslines out Crush when he was aiming for Michaels.

 

Crush has been Eliminated by British Bulldog!

 

Bulldog pummels Michaels who is being kicked around the ring, military press onto the top rope. Michaels is in trouble, Michaels is clotheslined over the top rope but Michaels’ feet do not touch the floor. Michaels re-enters the ring and sends out Bulldog with an axe handle to the floor. Only one of Shawn Michaels’ feet touched the floor, Shawn Michaels wins The Royal Rumble!

 

 

Brave move to not have the likes of Jarrett, Razor Ramon, Undertaker and the likes of Bigelow & Tatanka not compete in this match, they would not be the first wrestlers to compete on the card and compete later in the night so it’s interesting for sure especially when you made me sit through the likes of The Bushwhackers, Rick Martel, Blu Brothers and Well-Dunn. It does not pay off for the WWF as I find myself mostly bored during this Rumble, the lack of star-power really hurts this match. Another waste of Owen Hart in the Rumble, I cannot believe The Rocket was dumped out in that manner similar to how Diesel just destroyed him last year. I had Owen in my final four, I was way off. Although, it does continue the feud with his brother Bret but Bret isn’t going to be at Wrestlemania is he? Finish is great drama, not been done before so it works really well especially amid all the confusion from the referees. Did Luger and Crush really go at it? Was there any memorable moments that stick out apart from the finish? Did Owen deserve the role he was served during the match? The answer to all three was no, this was as weak as the early rumbles where there was no real thought process, let’s just throw guys out there. Not a great addition for sure!

 

Winner: Shawn Michaels!

 

That was WWF’s Royal Rumble 1995, a disappointing show all in all. Things start off well with Jarrett and Ramon, they work a fun match with Ramon tweaking his knee, they restart the match which is not an issue but usually works better when the cowardly heel is caught in a trap rather than a babyface deciding I’m risking everything. It pays off better too because poor old Razor Ramon succumbs to the damage done to his leg and loses his championship. I enjoy Jarrett’s antics and the injury was well done with the chop block looking particularly nasty but the finish leaves much to be desired, I think someone the calibre of Razor Ramon has to be protected better than being rolled up clean because of his bad leg. Anyways, things become real slow when Undertaker takes on IRS, it was the right style of match because IRS looking credible against Taker was out of the question but the stalling wore me down and the finish was an odd one for this too, what happened after The Chokeslam? Diesel and Bret try to have a great match on this show but the fact the match is restarted twice especially after seeing the same thing in the first match I mean really? Why doesn’t that happen every WWF Championship if the championship is so prestigious? It complicates things and doing it twice is overkill. That being said, Bret’s working of the leg coupled with Diesel’s raw power makes for an interesting match if you take out the double restart. Things nosedive once more with the tag team title match, Bob Holly was at home in The Hardcore Division, Holly is not an interesting character nor an interesting babyface-in-peril. The best parts of this match are Bigelow vs Kid, that one hurricanrana is incredible but other than that, The Million Dollar Team which would be the top heel stable/faction in the company continue to look dumb and have failed to reignite the careers of Bam Bam Bigelow or Tatanka. Finally, The Rumble might be one of the worse due to lack of credible stars. You have a lot of people in here who should not be in the rumble, it’s boring and you do not have those little moments to keep you going. Luger never runs wild, King Kong Bundy and Mabel is so slow, I thought Bundy survived but no, slowly dumped out. Biggest reaction is Owen being tossed and the cameramen miss it the first time around. Shawn Michaels steals the show easily as he is he only one to try and make something out of all this. 1995 has started badly for me, I am fearing the worst. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!