Tuesday 29 August 2017

WWE Backlash 2006 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that makes your skin crawl more than John Cena breaking the fourth wall! It’s Backlash 2006, Wrestlemania has ended but we are far from finished in terms of fallout. John Cena and Triple H continue their feud with Edge being added to the mix to make a triple threat match for the WWE Championship. Tag team partners come to blows as Carlito battles Chris Masters and Kane battles Big Show while we also have Shawn Michaels and God taking on The Mcmahons and the pay per view debut of the one called Umaga. Backlash usually delivers more often than not, let’s see what happens tonight!

Opening Promo

Demonic laughter with Vince talking about The Mcmahons kicking HBK’s ass. Highlights from Wrestlemania, etc. We now move onto less ridiculous promos with a hype package for a main event. The Game wants his championship, Edge wants to prove he is not a fluke, Cena wants to remain on top of the mountain.

Chris Masters vs Carlito

This had been simmering from quite some time, Carlito initially had asked Masters to be his partner inside the elimination chamber for New Year’s Revolution. The two proved quite the team before Carlito eliminated Masters, dumped him out of The Rumble and made Masters look like a moron. Carlito was gaining more fan support night after night, this led to Carlito’s face turn and we have the match between the two. The two have a stare-down, lots of finger-pointing and insults.

Masters decks Carlito, Carlito is choked with his own shirt. Low dropkick and facebuster by Carlito, Masters is up quickly. Right hands by Carlito, back drop by Masters. Two for Masters, clubbing blow by Masters. Carlito escapes a military press and applies a Masterlock. Masters breaks free, Masters is lowbridged by Carlito. Plancha by Carlito, stomps and right hands by Carlito. Right hands by Carlito, Masters stomps Carlito and looks for a powerbomb. Turnbuckle Powerbomb by Masters, two for Masters. Masters chokes Carlito with a knee, leg across the back by Masters. Huge leg drop for two, Masters drags Carlito by the hair. Neck vice by Masters, Carlito breaks free before eating a reverse elbow for two.

Another rest hold by Masters, neckbreaker by Masters. Eye rake by Carlito, clothesline by Masters. Mounted punches by Masters, snake eyes with Masters calling for his finish. Carlito slips out of the masterlock for a cradle, two for Carlito. Springboard elbow by Carlito, Carlito has his apple. Masters watches the apple in the air, low dropkick by Carlito. Right hands, clotheslines by Carlito. Carlito counters a neckbreaker for a dropkick, two. Irish whip by Masters to the corner, Carlito is placed on the top rope. Carlito knocks off Masters, moonsault by Carlito for two. Masters tries hard for a Masterlock, Carlito sends Masters into the top turnbuckle. Backstabber and with his feet on the ropes, Carlito steals the win.

Strong Eddie vibes from Carlito in this match, might be a bit too similar at times after Eddie’s recent passing but this company had no problem exploiting Eddie’s death so I should be happy this is in a positive manner. I have enjoyed Carlito’s work since his debut, the babyface stuff is coming along slowly and he is going through some growing pains. Masters has been interesting enough although I have seen him in singles action with only HBK so the test comes for when Masters is in there with people who are not as good as HBK. For now, it was solid and a decent opening match.

Winner: Carlito over Chris Masters via Backstabber!

Maria & Lita

Maria surveys the audience about who will win the WWE Championship, Lita interrupts while Maria calls Lita a whore. Lita promises that Edge will walk out champion, basic stuff.

Umaga W/ Armando Alejandro Estrada vs Ric Flair

Umaga was Rikishi’s brother who portrayed Jamal in Three-Minute Warning, Jamal had been wrestling in All Japan as part of Ro&D alongside the likes of Taka Michinoku, Taiyo Kea and D’Lo Brown. If you were wondering, there were the top heel stable that Kawada, Kojima and Mutoh would beat the piss out of. Anyways, Umaga is Vince’s new monster, he debuted and destroyed Flair. Flair has a chance at revenge tonight.

Umaga attacks Flair on the ramp, Umaga destroys Flair with punches. Eye poke by Flair, low blow behind the referee’s back. Right hands by Flair, another low blow and chops by Flair. Umaga shakes it off with a huge right, corner clothesline. Flair avoids a hip attack, chops by Flair. Umaga runs into the ringpost, more chops by Flair. Chop block by Flair, make it three and Umaga is down. Umaga kicks off Flair for a figure four, Umaga puts Flair in the tree of woe. Flying headbutt by Umaga, hip attack by Umaga. Diving Headbutt by Umaga and Umaga finishes off Flair with a Samoan Spike.

Strong showing from Umaga, Flair gives it the razzle dazzle but Umaga is far too strong. Excellent showcase for Umaga with Flair being a great babyface to get over the huge monster. Future looks bright for the first two winners in tonight’s matches, Raw would be interesting for the next few months.

Winner: Umaga over Ric Flair via Samoan Spike!

The Mcmahons

Vince talks shit about God, Shane looks at Vince like Vince just ate a child in front of his very eyes. Vince pours out Shane’s water and walks across water like God, Vince talks Fish and bread and breaks the bread in a symbolic gesture like God. This was painfully unfunny, Vince holds a Mackarel and exclaims Holy Mackarel. Shane sips from his water that is now wine. Yeah, painful stuff.

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Trish Stratus vs Mickie James ©

The best women’s storyline in WWE up to this point with the obsessed stalker Mickie James confronting her idol Trish Stratus and defeating her for the championship at Wrestlemania. Trish looks to win back the championship from the crazy Mickie James, Mickie’s character work was phenomenal at Mania, I expect more goodness from this match.

Mickie is cautious in her approach with Trish being confident this time around, the mind games have turned and Trish is in control. Lock-up, armwringer by Mickie. Trish counters and sweeps the leg for two, Trish smiles as Mickie looks off her game. Trish blows Mickie a kiss, Matrix spot into a headscissors, clotheslines and dropkick by Trish. Trish measures for a Chick Kick, Mickie dodges but eats a boot from Trish. Lou Thesz Press off the apron, right hands by Trish for two. Forearms by Trish, corner splash by Trish. Trish loos for ten punches, Mickie sends Trish to the floor and we have a problem as Trish’s arm bends under her body, the challenger is seriously hurt. Mickie covers with the referee giving the dreaded X simple. Mickie is disqualified after an awkward minute or two.

Such a shame, I was into the start of this match. Trish was playing head games with Mickie, Mickie had been completely put off her game. It was going to be interesting to see how Mickie would try to escape with her championship.

Winner: Trish Stratus over Mickie James via DQ!

Maria Interviews HBK

HBK cuts a promo about kicking The Mcmahon’s ass.

(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match/ Money In The Bank Briefcase Match)

Following Wrestlemania, Benjamin engaged in a war of words with RVD, RVD walked away the winner at Wrestlemania with the briefcase while Benjamin had beaten Ric Flair for the Intercontinental Championship. The two collide tonight with the winner leaving with both championship and briefcase.

Benjamin takes down RVD, slapping the head of RVD. Armwringer from Benjamin, RVD takes the arm. Benjamin armdrags out, posing for the fans again. Knee by Benjamin, side headlock. Shoulder block by Benjamin, RVD takes down Benjamin with his legs, deep armdrags. Benjamin wants a break, RVD clotheslines Benjamin down. Benjamin stalls for time on the floor, lock-up and clubbing blows by Benjamin. Right hands by Benjamin, RVD floats over and nails Benjamin with a spinning heel kick. Scoop slam, Benjamin avoids a rolling thunder. Plancha by RVD, RVD  is on the apron but Benjamin leaps over RVD for a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor. Two for Benjamin, Benjamin drives his knee into the backs of RVD. Reverse chinlock by Benjamin, RVD wriggles free but it slammed down by his ponytail.

Knee lift by Benjamin for two, backbreaker by Benjamin. Clubbing blows by Benjamin, camel clutch by Benjamin. RVD reaches the ropes, scoop slams by Benjamin. RVD escapes another chinlock, RVD counters a rolling thunder for a Samoan drop, two for Benjamin. Benjamin has RVD on the top rope, RVD batters off Benjamin. Benjamin leaps up to the top rope and superplexes RVD, two for Benjamin. Rear-naked choke with a bodyscissors, RVD breaks free and Benjamin misses a dropkick as RVD holds onto the ropes. Kick to the head by RVD, clotheslines by RVD. Superkick floors Benjamin, springboard diving kick. Spinning wheel kick and Rolling Thunder, two for RVD. Slam by RVD, split-legged moonsault for two.

 Shoulder thrusts by RVD, Benjamin flips out of the monkey flip. Step-through spinning heel kick by RVD, Benjamin dodges the frog splash. DDT by Benjamin, two for Benjamin. RVD rolls to the floor and drop toeholds Benjamin into the barricade, Benjamin grabs the briefcase. Huge kick to the head, Benjamin is on the top rope. Diving crossbody, RVD rolls through for two. Dragon Whip misses, hurricanrana by RVD. Benjamin elbows RVD into the referee, RVD nails Benjamin with the briefcase. Five Star Frog Splash and RVD is your new champion.

Very good match, they were given more time due to Trish’s injury and they use it perfectly. Benjamin had transitioned into an over-confident heel with Mama being a great asset to his character, disappointed that she did not make a difference while the company were finally rectifying the mistakes they had made back in 2002 when they did not go with RVD despite his popularity and the way he moved the merchandise brother! This was good stuff, a highlight for both.

Winner: RVD over Shelton Benjamin via Five Star Frog Splash!

Kane vs The Big Show

Kane had snapped, hearing voices in his head that would constantly say May 19th. What did it mean? Why was Kane snapping? Big Show stood up to his partner and now they come to blows over Kane’s new attitude. Kane cheap shots Show, Show counters with a gorilla press slam. Headbutt by Show, huge chest chops. Show whips Kane to the corner, Kane boots Show and goes after the injured eye of Show. Show goes for the hand of Kane, Kane’s hand is smacked off the turnbuckle. Show smacks around Kane on the floor, Kane sends Show into the steel steps. Show enters the ring with Kane stomping  Show, more arm work from Kane before a huge clothesline for two.

 Show slams Kane, Show misses an elbow drop. Keylock from Kane, Show shakes off Kane. Boot by Kane, Kane climbs to the top rope. Show blocks the clothesline for a fallaway slam. Clothesline by Show, hip splash and shoulder block by Show. Kane counters the chokeslam for a DDT, two for Kane. Show catches Kane for a powerslam, two for Show. Show looks to claw out Kane’s eye, Kane eye pokes Show. Kane boots Show to the floor, the arena turns red with a voice saying the word May 19th. Kane writhes around on the mat with Show looking on confused, Show has a steel chair. Show waffles Kane with the chair, Show looks on regretful.

No ringbell, no nothing? Ok, we will assume that Kane won by DQ. Yeah, it is sluggish and slow, what can you expect from these two titans. It does not have that physicality or intensity you need to pull off the match and the finish was beyond weak, did not help either guy. A real blight on this card that seems to be at least interesting up onto this point.

Winner: Kane over Big Show via DQ!

The Mcmahons vs Shawn Michaels & God

Vince blamed his loss at Wrestlemania on Michaels having a partner in God, it was pretty funny stuff when you think about it with Mcmahon blaming a loss in wrestling due to God. Anyways, some people were offended by Mcmahon and his mockery of religion, Vince would film religious skits and use quotes familiar with the bible and the holy spirit. It was all a bit much despite the entertaining aspect of Vince being an utter nutcase.

Vince grabs a microphone and introduces God, a spotlight is shown with Vince changing God’s music to Somebody Call Your Momma. Vince dances to God’s theme, this is insanity. HBK slaps Vince and Shane is pummelled by Michaels. Back drop, right hands and a plancha onto Vince. Shane is clotheslined to the floor, plancha by Michaels. Shane and Michaels brawl to the stage, knees and lefts by Shane. Shane tries a piledriver, Michaels back drops Shane on the stage. HBK chops down an oncoming Vince, Shane is bounced off the stage. Michaels crossbodies himself and Vince off the stage through some equipment at the side of the stage. Michaels climbs up to the stage and is waffled by a chair shot by Shane. Shane checks on Vince, Vince emerges from the wreckage.

Shane is battering Michaels down the ramp, Michaels is bleeding. Michaels meets the barricade and ringpost, Shane jabs Michaels. Back suplex, Shane misses his big elbow drop. Michaels and Shane brawl, DDT by Shane. Vince tags in, Vince pulls off his belt and whips Michaels like a dog. Vince uses the belt to flatten Michaels, Vince has a trash can. Michaels is waffled, Vince asks for the microphone. Vince screams about God, asks about God leaving the building. Vince misses sweet chin music, right hands by HBK. Shane is down, flying forearm by HBK, Shane cracks Vince with a chair by accident. Michaels hammers Shane, flying forearm and kip-up.

Inverted atomic drop followed by right hands and a scoop slam. Elbow drop by Michaels, the crowd has come alive for HBK. Sweet Chin Music to both Mcmahons, Michaels screams Suck It which is another subtle hint for what is to come. Michaels looks for a table, Michaels finds two tables. Shane and Vince are laid on the tables, Michaels has a ladder. Michaels climbs the ladder but The Spirit Squad appear, Michaels dives onto Mcmahon’s goons. HBK battles but is overwhelmed by the number’s game. The Spirit Squad lift up Michaels after a beating and send HBK through a table. The Mcmahons steal the win, HBK and God lose.

The feud could have ended at Wrestlemania, it had a fitting end with HBK destroying Vince but it continued, they could not recapture the magic of the first time, it is very rarely that anyone can top the original. Michaels being the awesome wrestler that he is, tries his best to make an entertaining match out of this fiasco but it just does not come off, it is nowhere near the level of the Wrestlemania match.

Winners: The Mcmahons over Shawn Michaels via Shenanigans!

John Cena Promo/ Matt Striker Segment

Todd Grisham interviews Cena, Cena cuts a solid promo about the main event. Trish Stratus has dislocated her shoulder but here comes some filler in the form of Matt Striker. Eugene insults and humiliates Striker, fine stuff.

(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs Triple H vs Edge

Cena had been crowned the man at Wrestlemania with Triple H tapping to the STFU. The match was average at best with Cena not exactly shining in there with The Game, Edge comes out the next night after his show-stealing match declaring to be number one contender. Top quality promo package for the match, gets you in the mood for the match.

Edge rolls to the floor, Cena and Triple H brawl. Shoulder block by Cena, fisherman suplex for two. Inverted atomic drop by The Game, right hands by Triple H. High knee, Edge breaks up the count. Cena and Triple H brawl with Edge watching on from the apron, both Triple H and Cena notice Edge on the apron. Edge is yanked in the ring, Edge is pinballed around before being clotheslined to the floor. Edge is bounced off the announce table by both Cena and Triple H, Triple H attacks Cena from behind and throws Cena to the floor. Edge lures in The Game and pulls Triple H into the bottom turnbuckle. Edge stomps on Triple H, Cena pulls down Triple H. Cena nails a splash on Edge for two, spinning side slam by the champion.

 Lita lowbridges Cena, knee facebuster by Triple H. Clothesline, cover and two for Triple H. Spinebuster by Triple H to cut off Edge’s comeback, Edge slips out of a suplex and nails an Edge O Matic for two. Sleeper by Triple H, Edge escapes and applies a sleeper to Triple H. Cena was looking for a double FU, Edge slips out and Spears both men. Edge catapults Triple H into the ringpost, Triple H has donned the crimson mask. Edge has Triple H on the announce table, Edgecution on the table. Edge dropkicks Cena in the ring for two, Edge stomps Cena in the corner. Edge Spears Cena in the corner, Edge tries another spear but Cena clamps on an STFU. Edge is so close to tapping, Triple H prevents Edge from tapping and smacks Cena with a microphone.

 Triple H has a chair, Edge is walloped into the crowd. Cena drop toeholds Triple H for an STFU, Triple H begins to fade as Cena applies more pressure. Triple H does not fade though, Triple H survives. FU is avoided by Triple H, Cena slips out of the pedigree for another STFU. Edge appears on the top rope, Cena is knocked into the referee. Cena hooks Edge for a super FU, Triple H joins in for a tower of doom spot. Lita has a chair, Triple H spinebusters Lita. Triple H does not want the chair, Triple H is going for the sledgehammer. Edge Spears Triple H, Cena has Edge for an FU. Triple H lows blows Cena, Edge is on the floor. Cena counters a Pedigree for a jacknife roll-up. After the match, Triple H lays out both men to stand tall.

Good main event, I liked the beginning with Edge being the coward and the other two going toe to toe before realizing Hey, wait this guy is making a fool out of us. Match had some really dramatic transitions too with Cena applying the STFU out of nowhere and Cena’s Pedigree counters. They all worked well with one another, there was no denying the chemistry they had with one another. Only gripe is Triple H standing tall, makes no sense in the grand scheme of things, your next program is RVD and Cena with Edge being an annoyance in the background, you are building to RVD’s showdown with Cena. No need for Triple H to lay out both with the sledgehammer, no need for Triple H to look tough after his loss, he will be a babyface with Michaels in a matter of weeks. That being said, it a very good main event with a rabid crowd who were all in on the match, everyone looked good and it was another good match for Cena as champion, those had been few and far between during the last few months.

Winner: John Cena over Everyone Else via Roll-Up!

That was WWE’s Backlash 2006, a good show from the Raw brand but nothing spectacular. When I saw the line-up, I thought this show could be something special but I was disappointed once we hit Trish vs Mickie. What happened was out of their control but I was looking forward to that match and when you are served Big Show vs Kane, it is enough to kill anyone’s enthusiasm. Michaels vs The Mcmahons was a bit much for me as I said before, Mcmahon’s character was a nutcase at the time but it bordered on cringe and embarrassing as a wrestling fan, I would like to forget most of the match. Carlito was good with Masters though, RVD and Shelton had a good match showing off what they could do given the time and you had a fun main event. Overall, the good outweighed the bad but there was some forgettable stuff on this show. Thans for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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Sunday 27 August 2017

WCW Great American Bash 2000 Review

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Hello and welcome to another rebel-rousing edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that’s as glorious as Bobby Roode’s entrance theme! We are back with another review and it looks like I hate myself because it’s a WCW review. Yep, it’s WCW’s Great American Bash 2000! The main event is Jeff Jarrett defending against Kevin Nash, looks like Nash vs Awesome was quietly dropped. However, have no fear as Mike Awesome battles DDP in an ambulance match, Ric Flair fights his son David, Sting vs Vampiro in a Human Torch match and Hulk Hogan makes a buffoon out of Billy Kidman once again. It’s another chance to sink to a new low, this is WCW in the year 2000 we are talking about and all my optimism has been swallowed whole by this point so let’s just get this over with.

Opening Promo

The man Goldberg returned after months on the injury shelf due to a self-inflicted injury trying to break a Limo’s window. Goldberg, the one man who was over enough to turn around business for the failing company, what can they do with Goldberg. We now get the hype packages for the rest of the big matches on the card, poor Kidman is going to get flattened once again isn’t he? Do I really need to see this bullshit again?

(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Lt. Loco © W/ MIA vs Disco Inferno W/ The Filthy Animals

One month after revealing his name as Huge G. Rection, The MIA are here as a mid-card group of mostly lower-card wrestlers with nothing better to do. Similarly, The Filthy Animals is made up of mostly Latino wrestlers like Konnan, Juvi and Mysterio along with Disco who are at best a poor imitation of DX. Disco slaps Loco, Loco tees off on Disco. Clothesline by Loco, crossbody and head pound by the champion. Elbows by Disco, stungun by Disco. Disco taunts MIA, Loco headscissors to Disco and Disco is on the floor. MIA beat the piss out of Disco, no DQ? Fuck this, Disco is thrown back in the ring. Loco drops Disco with a back suplex for two, Loco lowbridges Disco. Loco dives onto Disco, Juvi pulls down Loco off the apron.

The Filthy Animals pound on Loco, scoop slam by Disco. Middle rope elbow by Disco for two, here comes Pops. Inverted atomic drop and clothesline by Disco for two, Pops and Tygress have words. Russian legsweep by Disco, Konnan pushes Pops, Pops has a heart attack. Juvi drops Loco with the eye of the hurricane and misses The Juice’s elbow. Disco nails Loco with The Last Dance, Cpl. Cajun plants Disco with his finish and pulls Loco on top IN CLEAR VIEW OF THE REFEREE, ARE YOU JOKING ME? Major Gunns revives Pops, poor comedy.

The fuck was this match, so much interference with so much blatant cheating. For God’s sake, this should have been thrown out seconds after the bell rang. More camera time goes onto Major Gunns stripping and the revival of Pops, this was just a God awful to start the show, I would have been ok with a multi-man match between the two factions.

Winner: Lt. Loco over Disco Inferno via Shenanigans!

Bischoff and The Cat/Mamalukes

Bischoff is worried about Goldberg showing up similar to how he was afraid of Hogan showing up at the last pay per view. Also, The Mamalukes are interviewed, they say they are going to beat Kronik but there is a little tension as both men should be hardcore champion but Vito calls himself the hardcore champion.

(Number One Contender’s Match) Kronik vs The Mamalukes

Kronik is Bryan Clark and Bryan Adams, two big nasty bastards who beat the piss out of their opponents, think of APA. Meanwhile, The Mamalukes are one of my favourite parts of late WCW with Vito being unintentionally funny and their over-the-top gimmick. Kronik clear the ring before we reset, Clark stomps and knees Stamboli. Chops by Clark, uranage slam by Clark. Shoulder block, Stamboli rolls to the floor. Stamboli nails Clark with a huge kick to the head, tag to Vito. Double back elbow and stomps, Vito has decided to wrestle the match while wearing his championship. Uppercuts by Vito, Clark pummels and chops Vito. Tag to Stamboli, clubbing blows before Clark drops Stamboli with a backbreaker. Adams is in, full-nelson slam for two.

 Tag to Clark, stomps and a powerslam with Vito saving the match. Adams is in, shoulder block by Stamboli. Adams military press slams Stamboli for a gutbuster, Vito saves the match again. Vito kicks Adams from the apron, DDT by Stamboli. Tag to Vito, mat slam by Vito. Corner splash, second splash misses and there is a tag to Clark. Double back drop, F-5 by Adams for two. Vito thrustkicks Adams, tag to Clark. Stamboli dropkicks Adams and powerslams Clark. Stamboli botches a jump and Stamboli meets a shoulder block before experiencing High Tide.

Super sloppy in parts, Kronik’s appeal is two big guys that destroy everything. Simple idea, they kill and destroy everything but if you are not bumping for them and they are not doing impressive power moves, nobody is going to react. I may like The Mamaluke gimmick but the in-ring product is less than impressive, it was a long-ass match even though it does not clock in at very long. Poor start to the show, need for things to pick up soon.

Winners: Kronik over The Mamalukes via High Tide!

(Ambulance Match) DDP W/ Kanyon vs Mike Awesome

Kanyon was injured by Awesome, Awesome threw Kanyon off a cage to the ramp. In a rare piece of continuity from WCW, DDP is going after the man who assaulted on top of the cage in last month’s main event. DDP and Awesome brawl, they deck the referee. Ok? Awesome knocks DDP into the crowd, both men wield chairs with DDP winning the war. DDP punches the chair into Awesome’s face, back elbow by Awesome. Back suplex by Awesome, splash by Awesome. Clothesline by Awesome, Awesome pulls out a table and signals for DDP’s doom.

Awesome Bomb through the table, Awesome calls for the stretcher. DDP rolls off the table, chair shot by Awesome. DDP takes chair shots to the ribs, Awesome Splash flattens DDP. Make it two, Awesome places a chair on DDP and dives, DDP moves and Awesome lands on the chairs. Kimberly Page has a lead pipe, DDP is waffled in the spine but here comes Ms. Hancock after being off ppvs for God knows how long. Hancock drags off Kimberly, Awesome has DDP in the corner. Awesome wants to deliver a super awesome bomb, DDP crotches Awesome and nails a Diamond Cutter. Awesome is on the stretcher, Bischoff’s music plays and aims for Kanyon. DDP saves Kanyon, Kanyon stands up and Diamond Cutters DDP to the floor, Kanyon joins The New Blood and Awesome is the winner.

What a load of bollocks, this is the third straight pay per view that DDP has been turned on, his wife, David Arquette and now Kanyon. The dumbest babyface in the history of wrestling, there is no question. Constant interference in DDP’s matches, it is all just too much and DDP would leave the company for a number of months following all this garbage, I cannot blame him for that. Again, more disappointing booking of Awesome, Awesome should be main eventing, you have a monster on your hands and you book him like trash. Also, Awesome and Kanyon are pals after last month when Awesome threw Kanyon off the cage? Perfect.

Winner: Mike Awesome over DDP via Shenanigans!

(Last Man Standing Match) GI Bro vs Shawn Stasiak

Bootcamp match/Last man standing match call it what you want, I have no clue what is going on here with Booker. At the beginning of the year, Booker lost the rights to Harlem Heat and T to Stevie Ray but Booker T was himself again following that horrible angle. However, I am guessing The New Blood leaders Russo and Bischoff stripped Booker of his identity and now, Booker has this horrible gimmick that would feel cheap in the 1970s. Bro pummels Stasiak around the arena, Stasiak takes control in the crowd with huge rights. Booker comes back with a chair shot, Stasiak stands at eight. Flapjack by Stasiak, Stasiak pounds on Bro, Bro stands at eight.

 Huge spinning kick by Booker, Stasiak rolls to the floor and smashes Bro into the guard rails, Stasiak suplexes Bro on the ramp. Bro stands at eight once more, they brawl to the ring. Stasiak hurls Bro to the floor and into the crowd again, chair to the back by Stasiak. Bro stands at nine, gutwrench powerbomb by Stasiak. Bro stands again, sleeper by Stasiak. Bro stands and nails a Samoan drop, elbow by Stasiak. Stasiak walks into a Bro-End? Missile dropkick by Bro, here comes Chuck Palumbo. Scissors Kick for Palumbo, Stasiak knocks Bro in the balls with the flexer. The Perfect Event put the boots to Bro, Bro nails a double clothesline. Harlem Sidekicks, flexer to the face of Palumbo and Stasiak.

Holy hell, that was one of the most boring matches I have ever seen in my life. The commentators spent so much time on Bischoff, Kanyon and DDP, more than likely to distract from this awful match. Nothing good came of this, it was a joke of a match. GI Bro is a terrible gimmick, GI Bro is going to be champion in one month, that’s just awful. GI Bro seems to be the furthest thing from main event superstar, this show never made it up the cliff to fall off it.

Winner: GI Bro over Shawn Stasiak via Survival!

(Best of 5 Tables Match) Shane Douglas vs The Wall

How fucking stupid is that? Best of 5 tables match? Douglas confuses everyone by saying he will put The Wall through five tables despite earlier saying it’s best of 5 and not best of 9. The Wall boots Douglas, military press slam. Clothesline by The Wall, right hands. High knee by Douglas, suplex by Douglas. Snapover neckbreaker, clothesline to the floor. Some brawling on the floor, The Wall Chokeslams Douglas through a table. 1-0 to The Wall, Douglas attacks The Wall on the floor. The Wall suplexes Douglas through a second table, 2-0 to The Wall.

Inverted atomic drop and nut kick by Douglas, The Wall follows Douglas to the stage. Douglas and The Wall battle towards a ladder, there are two ladders below yet the commentators scream out that there is three. Douglas punches The Wall who falls over through the two tables. Douglas wins despite the score being tied 2:2.

Well, they seemingly cannot count in WCW. This match was another load of ass on a show covered in shit. First, they could not even decipher if it was  a best of 5 or best of 9 tables match. Secondly, who would come up with such a stupid match? It was dull and plodding, The Wall could barely work I will give them credit for some continuity as The Wall was introduced to WCW by Douglas and his Revolution stablemates. However, there was clearly two tables, there was no disputing this. Schiavone screams out there is two tables, it is a shambles and of course, The Wall no-sells it and slams a referee through a table following the match. The Wall should be world champion, he is clearly unstoppable.

Winner: Shane Douglas over The Wall via Elimination!

(Asylum Match) Tank Abbott & Rick Steiner vs Scott Steiner

The Big Bad Booty Daddy was one of the rare good things about this company during this time, Steiner’s character work was stellar as a big badass who sleeps with all the bitches in the world. The matches were not as good due to Steiner’s inflated physique but the matches were mostly secondary like a Sandman match. Steiner throws around Abbott like a jabron, here comes Rick who has been added to the match. Rick pummels Scott, Abbott stands around with his big belly. The cage lowers, it is a smaller Octagon giving the wrestlers less space to perform. You are handicapping those who are already handicapped in terms of experience and mobility. Scott grabs a chain from Abbott, both are knocked out by Scott. Scott wins by Came Clutch DUD!

Winner: Scott Steiner over Everyone Else via Steiner Recliner!

Billy Kidman vs Hulk Hogan

If Hogan wins, Hogan will be challenging for the championship at Bash at The Beach. If Hogan loses, Kidman will have the pleasure of retiring Hogan. Horace Hogan who had helped Hogan beat Kidman before has turned on Hogan and is the referee. It hurts my head just trying to remember all this crap and it’s been only a few weeks since my last review! Hogan throws down Kidman and nails right hands, Kidman is sent tumbling to the floor. More right hands, big boot and Kidman is bounced off the guard rail multiple times. Choke by Hogan, Kidman rakes the eyes.

Kidman stomps Hogan, Horace and Kidman argue when Hogan low blows Kidman. Hogan has his belt, Kidman is whipped. Hogan grabs a chair and Kidman dropkicks the chair into Hogan’s face. Kidman wears out Hogan with the chair, Hogan pulls out Kidman with punches and Kidman meets the guard rail once again. Chair to the back by Hogan, Kidman DDTs Hogan in the ring for two. Splash by Kidman for two, Kidman is not happy with Horace’s officiating. Kidman goes back to Hogan, Hogan is rammed off the turnbuckle. Clubbing blows by Kidman, crowd begins to chant for Hogan.

Right hands by Hogan, Kidman bumps around like a monkey. Huge right hands, ten punches in the corner. Irish whip and corner clothesline by Hogan, Kidman powders to the floor. Kidman pushes Hogan into the ringpost, Hogan hiptosses Kidman through a table. Torrie Wilson is out at ringside, Torrie is on the apron. Hogan has spotted Torrie, she has brass knuckles. Kidman dropkicks Hogan into Torrie, Kidman wallops Hogan with the brass knuckles but Hogan kicks out! Kidman wipes out Horace with the brass knuckles, Torrie low blows Kidman for being a dick. Hogan has the brass knuckles, Horace shakes off the brass knuckles to count the pin.

Once again, Kidman looks like a joke to Hogan. Champion of the flea market? Well, hard to argue when Kidman kept control of this match for about ten seconds collectively. No doubting that Hogan could still be affective as the fans woke up during this Hogan match but they are better ways to use your talent. Turning Kidman heel and having him squashed like a bug was a stupid decision from the geniuses in WCW. Also, SWERVE from Horace as if we had not have had enough of those things in this company.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over Billy Kidman via Brass Knuckles!

David Flair W/ Vince Russo vs Ric Flair

The Flair vs Russo feud continues, David Flair turned on his father for the second time in WCW. First time was The NWO, this time it includes joining Russo’s side. David continues to wrestle in a t-shirt and jeans, Ric is not copying his son tonight as Ric has donned his traditional wrestling attire for the first time in months. Ric’s career is on the line, David could end his father’s career.

Lock-up, side headlock by David but Ric counters for a top wristlock. Lock-up and hammerlock by Ric, David tastes a slap to the face. Third lock-up, clean break from David. Right hands by David, chops by David. Flair flip, David chases his dad. Chops and forearms by David, suplex by David. Back suplex by Ric, Ric rips off David’s shirt and chops the bejesus out of the boy. Ric brings David to the floor, David clotheslines Ric to the floor. Russo batters Ric with a bat, Russo handcuffs Ric. David stomps Ric, chops by David. David struts, Figure Four by David. Russo holds David’s hands for leverage, mounted punches by David. Lil Naitch stops David cheating, Reid Flair low blows Russo. David has Reid, Lil Naitch frees Ric.

Ric is up, David has no idea. Ric chops the shit out of David. Charlotte handcuffs Russo on the floor, Russo screams bitch at Charlotte. Low blow by Ric, David flips in the corner and eats a clothesline. Delayed vertical suplex by Ric, Ric struts and it signals the end of poor old David. David begs for mercy and eye pokes Ric, David goes to the top. David is yanked off the top rope, knee drop by Ric. Ric pummels David in the skull as his children look on, Ric works the leg.  David taps to The Figure Four and Ric chops the shit out of Russo.

Shit match but it’s passable due to Ric’s charisma. The commentators play it off as a beautiful family moment and something we will never forget but they are pushing their luck. David was not fit to carry his dad’s towel never mind measure up to him in the ring.

Winner: Ric Flair over David Flair via Figure Four!

(Human Torch Match) Vampiro vs Sting

They were tag-team partners for a cup of coffee, Vampiro turned on Sting. Vampiro cost Sting an opportunity to become United States Champion, Vampiro began the mind games going after the biggest WCW star he could think of but Sting knocked back the threat of Vampiro in an awful singles match at last month’s Slamboree.

Sting starts this match on top of the Turnertron, Vampiro is freaking out as Vampiro is afraid of heights. Sting repels down the tron, Vampiro is continuing to freak out about the match and heights. So, Sting comes down because Vampiro says no, what was the point of that? Vampiro heel kicks Sting, Sting clotheslines Vampiro around the ring. Stomps in the corner, Vampiro blocks a Stinger Splash. Sting ends up across the top turnbuckle, Vampiro pours gasoline all over Sting. They begin brawling near the torch, Vampiro begins scaling the tron. Vampiro knocks Sting off the tron, Sting lays in a heap before getting up almost instantly. They brawl next to the torch, Vampiro grabs the torch and sets Sting on fire and Sting plunges theatrically through the stage.

Once again, they try to sell this as the most serious thing in all of wrestling even though you can clearly see Stunt Man’s WIG FALLOUT AS THEY SHOOT HIM EMERGING FROM THE STAGE, ARE YOU JOKING ME WCW? It is just too much, it’s like it is out of a Hollywood movie, it was beyond fake, all believability and drama were lost on this piece of trash, this might be the worst show I have ever reviewed from this company.

Winner: Vampiro over Sting via Setting Sting Alight!

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Jeff Jarrett © vs Kevin Nash

The Cat fucks over Nash as The Filthy Animals are filling the ringside area to screw over Nash. Nash came back in what it seemed to be a feud with Awesome as Awesome had attacked Nash in his debut. After the Jarrett reset as champion following a whole load of bullshit and vacancies, Nash emerged as the challenger. Nash throws around Jarrett to begin the match, Jarrett pounds away on Nash following distractions from The Filthy Animals.

Big right hands by Jarrett, Nash knees Jarrett and tosses the champion across the ring. Elbows and knees by Nash, Jarrett takes control on the floor by sending Nash into the ringpost. Nash snake eyes Jarrett on the announce table, right hands by Nash. Jarrett is in the crowd, they brawl out in the crowd. Nash comes back ringside and it attacked by The Filthy Animals. Jarrett attacks the knee with a chair, Jarrett works over the leg. Nash blocks the figure four, Jarrett yanks and pulls at the leg. Figure Four by Jarrett, Nash reaches the ropes to survive after much struggling. Nash is hammered with the ringbell by Konnan, Nash kicks out at two!

Sidewalk slam by Nash for two, Nash takes out The Filthy Animals. Jarrett is waffled with the belt, Disco cracks the referee. The Filthy Animals attack Nash, The Cat is in as the referee. Nash kicks out after a pin from Jarrett, Stroke by Jarrett but Nash kicks out once more. Jarrett has a guitar, Nash chokeslams Jarrett. Cat does not count, Nash Powerbombs Cat. Nash boots Jarrett, Jacknife Powerbomb. Rick Steiner and The Filthy Animals pound Nash, Tank Abbot is here with Scott Steiner.

Goldberg is motherfucking here boys, shit is about to pick up massively. They miss Goldberg coming down the ramp, Goldberg does not kill The Filthy Animals. Nash eats a Spear as Goldberg turns heel, Goldberg is New Blood. Goldberg revives the referee and Jarrett retains.

Oh boy, Goldberg is in with Russo and Bischoff. Goldberg is now a heel, it is hard to even put into words. I have a strange relationship with Goldberg, I understand that he had the IT factor, that he was ungodly powerful, charismatic and WCW’s answer to Austin but Goldberg was not around a lot in WCW. When he became champion, he did not defend the championship that much, you remember his match with DDP and dropping the championship to Nash but in between you have battle royals and random defences and of course, nixing a feud with Chris Jericho. My point being is despite all the good WCW would do with Goldberg, they always seem to cover their meal ticket in shit.

This is a prime example, Goldberg was over. His absence made the fans’ hearts grow fonder, they wanted their hero, they wanted The New Blood to be speared into oblivion. It books itself but we did not get it, we get the hottest star in the company turning heel. It is ass backawards, why would you do that? You have Hogan challenging for the championship at the next pay per view, why not build around Goldberg? Poor Jarrett for as much as I do not buy him as a world champion, he is now lower on the pecking order than Russo, Bischoff and Goldberg. The champion looks like a joke and that main event with all its shenanigans and over-booking would be a blueprint of what was to come in TNA under Jarrett as champion, you could compare this garbage with anything featuring Jarrett in 2004 or 2005 and there would be no difference.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett over Kevin Nash via Spear!

That was WCW’s Great American Bash of 2000, the pinnacle of Russo booking in WCW. Nothing about this pay per view as good, there was not one average match in all of this bullshit. So many boring matches, so many stupid finishes. Just boring, just awful and I have no idea where this company was heading. Goldberg as a heel, Jarrett as champion who seemingly is just holding it until Hogan comes around for his annual world championship reign. The Russo and Bischoff faction and their shock style of booking had to finish, it was just too draining and for any fan of WCW who would stick with the company through this, I salute you because my patience wore thin long ago and I only do this as I am a critic. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

Image result for WCW Major Gunns Gif

Tuesday 22 August 2017

WWE Wrestlemania 22 Review


Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that gets injured in the middle of its big push! Wrestlemania 22 is upon us, the biggest extravaganza of the year for wrestling, our superbowl, our champions league final, our Wimbledon. All eyes are on the WWE as all major storyline come to an end and we look forward to a new year of WWE programming. The big matches of this stacked card are John Cena defending his WWE Championship against Triple H, Kurt Angle defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton, Trish Stratus defends against her stalker/superfan Mickie James and Edge against The Hardcore Legend Mick Foley just to name a few. If you remember last year’s show, it was a barn-burner up until the title matches, will Wrestlemania 22 go one step further? Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

We see flashbacks of previous Manias, records being broken, champions being crowned, some of the most memorable moments in wrestling history. Shinedown rings out while we see the biggest names in the history of the sport of professional wrestling, truly inspiring with goosebumps covering my body. After a trip down memory lane, we have hype promos for the matches. Great stuff, makes me so God damn hyped.

(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) The Big Show & Kane © vs Carlito & Chris Masters

Bit of an odd match to kick off the show and an odd match in general due to the way things have gone with these four men. Masters and Carlito had been buddies since the elimination chamber at the beginning of the year but on multiple occasions, Carlito had double-crossed Masters such as pinning him in the chamber and throwing him out of the rumble. Meanwhile, Kane and Big Show had not defended their championships since winning them off Cade and Murdoch who were a legitimate team in the division.

Masters grabs a side headlock, shoulder block. Dropkick by Kane, headbutt by Show. Tag to Show, huge chest slap from Show. Masters pokes the eyes, in comes Carlito. Show plants Carlito on the top rope, Masters eats a thrustkick and a gorilla press slam. Show press slams Carlito onto Masters on the floor, Kane climbs to the top rope and dives onto the challengers. Show pulls Carlito into the ring, Masters distracts Show. Double flapjack by the challengers, two for Carlito. Tag to Masters, the challengers try a double suplex but Show catches both with his own suplex. Tag to Kane, right hands to Carlito and Masters. Huge back drop for Carlito, scoop slam for Masters.

Ten punches by Kane, corner clothesline by Kane. Sidewalk slam on Carlito, Masters dodges a diving clothesline for a Masterlock on Kane. Show saves with a superkick, snake eyes and Masters is down. Carlito nails a Backstabber on Kane, Show looks for a chokeslam but Masters chop blocks Show’s legs. Kane is battered by the challengers, Kane boots Masters. Masters nails Carlito with a double axe handle by mistake, Chokeslam by Kane on Carlito and this match is over.

Solid opening tag team match, I was curious when I saw this would be the show opener but Kane and Show were allowed to do their thing. Carlito and Masters bumped all around, it was quick and smooth. The best you could hope for in a tag team match featuring Show and Kane.

Winners: Kane & The Big Show over Chris Masters and Carlito via Chokeslam!

Michaels and The Coach

Coach questions Michaels about the No Holds Barred match, Micheals has no regrets and promises to kick Vince’s ass. Michaels is not going to give us a five star match like the years before, Michaels is going to beat the piss out of Vince Mcmahon.

(Money in The Bank Match) Rob Van Dam vs Shelton Benjamin vs Finlay vs Ric Flair vs Bobby Lashley vs Matt Hardy

The second ever Money in The Bank match, it debuted at Wrestlemania 21 with Edge emerging victorious. The stakes are high as we all saw Edge cash-in the briefcase and become WWE Champion. It was a game-changer and anybody could become WWE Champion after winning the briefcase.

Huge RVD chants to begin, Lashley begins hammering everyone in the ring. Raw power from Lashley, Flair is slammed hard. Huge kick by Benjamin floors Lashley, Hardy comes right after the ladder. Baseball slide by RVD, Hardy is crushed under the ladder. Benjamin surveys the scene before looking for victory, Benjamin props the ladder against the ropes, Benjamin runs up the ladder and planchas onto three men below. Flair and Finlay are reaching for the briefcase, Hardy chases Flair. Hardy suplexes Flair off the top of the ladder, Flair screams out in pain. Flair is taken to the bac after his huge bump, RVD drop toeholds Benjamin onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder misses as Benjamin dodges, RVD smacks the ladder hard.

 Lashley is on the top rope, Benjamin gives chase. Lashley is powerbombed off the ladder by three men, Finlay, Hardy and Benjamin. Finlay begins dissecting anyone in his way, Flair appears a few minutes after leaving. Flair chops down Hardy and Benjamin, Finlay joins Flair and knocks Flair with his shillelagh. Flair falls to the floor, Benjamin and Finlay battle atop the ladder. Lashley knocks the two over with another ladder, Dominator on Benjamin. Lashley climbs with RVD using a chair to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. Hardy knocks RVD to the floor, Hardy climbs a ladder in the corner. Leg Drop off the ladder onto Lashley, Hardy climbs to the top. Finlay is chasing Hardy, Side Effect by Hardy onto Finlay.

RVD climbs a ladder in the corner, RVD nails Finlay with a Five Star Frog Splash. RVD has his hands on the briefcase, Benjamin springboards onto the ladder with RVD. Hardy has another ladder, stealing the briefcase. Benjamin and Hardy brawl on the ladder, RVD kicks over Hardy and Benjamin. RVD is standing tall, RVD grabs the briefcase and we have a winner! RVD is Mr. Money in The Bank!

Tough to top the original, the second would always be judged against the first. They were some standout moments like Flair’s suplex, RVD’s splash and Benjamin being the athletic freak that is, guy was amazing. Ladder matches are always fun, the crowd had an amazing time, I just think it’s a notch down from the last Money in The Bank which was all sorts of crazy and told a story whereas this was more of a spotfest with a happy ending.

Winner: RVD over Everyone Else via Retrieval of The Briefcase!

Mean Gene and Randy Orton

Orton interrupts Mean Gene, Orton talks about becoming a Hall of Famer and World Heavyweight Champion. Orton is interrupted by Batista, the two Evolution stablemates catch up with Batista threatening Orton, fun stuff.

(WWE United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs JBL W/ Jillian Hall

Lock-up with both men trading bombs, side headlock by JBL. Shoulder block, drop toehold by Benoit into a crossface attempt. Headbutts by Benoit, JBL reaches the ropes with his foot. JBL has a headlock, Benoit wriggles free to pound on JBL’s head. Chops by Benoit, JBL boots Benoit but Benoit comes back with an armdrag and looks for the sharpshooter. JBL pushes off Benoit, JBL powders and hides behind Jillian. Eye poke by JBL, clubbing blows by JBL. JBL misses a clothesline, German suplexes by Benoit. Benoit calls for the headbutt, JBL uses the referee as a shield and crotches Benoit. JBL mocks Eddie, JBL looks for a superplex and it connects.

Two for JBL, JBL looks for The Three Amigos. Benoit blocks the third suplex, boot by JBL for two. Forearm to the spine by JBL and a reverse chinlock, Benoit wriggles free for a back suplex. Benoit nails The Three Amigos, Diving Headbutt by Benoit. Two as JBL kicks out, Benoit misses a corner clothesline. JBL misses his clothesline, JBL holds onto the ropes to avoid a German suplex. JBL eye pokes Benoit, Benoit counters the clothesline for a Crossface but JBL rolls over and uses the ropes for leverage, JBL wins the championship.

This was an ugly brawl between two tough bastards, I loved it. Benoit matches rarely disappoint while JBL has grown on me so much since being out of the main event scene on Smackdown, I feel JBL was crucified and was not allowed to be a big coward to the fullest. JBL mocking Eddie and everything about calling himself a great technical wrestler despite cheating to win, JBL was tremendous since the end of 2005 and into 2006. Liked it a lot.

Winner: JBL over Chris Benoit via Shenanigans!

(Hardcore Match) Mick Foley vs Edge W/ Lita

Edge had been solidly pushed since 2002, an injury would halt Edge’s progress but Edge switched over to Raw and slowly became a heel. Week after week with Lita by his side, Edge was growing as a star. Then, it happened with Edge cashing in and becoming champion. However, it did not last as it was during Wrestlemania season and Edge did not figure into main event plans but luckily for Edge, Foley was lined up for a show-stealing program. Edge blamed Foley for his loss to Cena, Foley brought out his old self and we have this hardcore match between the two.

Edge has a baseball bat in his hand, Foley dodges and pummels Edge. Facebuster by Foley, Edge is in the tree of woe. Running elbow drop to the face, Edge comes back with a clothesline. Lita hands Edge baking trays and stop signs, Foley is waffled in the face. Edge baseball slides a sign into Foley’s face, Edge measures for a spear. Spear connects but Edge writhes around in pain, Foley reveals to have wrapped himself in barbed wire. Edge is bleeding from his shoulder, Foley has outsmarted Edge. Foley whips Edge with the barbed wire, Edge is choked with the barb wire. Edge is tied up in the ropes, Foley pulls out the barbed wire baseball bat. Edge is screaming out for help, Lita dives on Foley’s back. Foley nails Edge with a Cactus Jack clothesline to the floor for two.

Foley tees off on Edge, Edge hiptosses Foley into the steel steps. Foley is whipped knees first into the steel steps, Edge pulls out a table. Edge slams Foley head first onto the ramp for two, Edge has lighter fluid, planning to burn Foley. Foley knocks Edge down and nails a piledriver for two, Foley has a chair. Edge DDTs Foley for two, Edge has a baseball bat. Foley is a bloody mess, Edge rakes it off Foley’s head. Edge finds brass knuckles and thumbtacks, Foley backdrops Edge onto the thumbtacks. Foley has Socko with barbed wire around Socko, Edge is choked with it as is Lita. Foley has the barbed wire bat, Edge is smacked in the ribs.

 Elbow drop with Barbie, Edge is bleeding everywhere. Foley grabs the lighter fluid, Foley has the fluid on the table. Lita smacks Foley with Barbie, Lita sets the table on fire and Edge Spears Foley through the table to the floor. Oh My God screams Styles in an insane spot, Edge covers Foley and this match is over.

Talk about a show-stealer, Foley manages to make Edge look like the biggest deal in wrestling on this night. It did not matter who it was whether it be Triple H, The Rock, Randy Orton or Edge, Foley knew how to play to his hardcore strengths and make a star of his opponent. This hardcore match built and built with layer after layer building the violence and the suspense, Edge got his ass-kicked for all his shit talking while Edge comes out on top after one of the greatest hardcore matches of all-time. It was phenomenal, it was one of the best matches that Wrestlemania has ever had, truly a great match for both men in their careers.

Winner: Edge over Mick Foley via Spear through a Table!

Booker T and Sharmell

Booker walks past other freaks in the WWE like Eugene, Paul Burchill who believes he is a pirate and Snitsky licking the feet of Mae Young. Booker even has a run-in with his old friend Goldust, Goldust tries to rally Booker. It does not work, Sharmell is awesome in this segment.

Booker T W/ Sharmell vs The Boogeyman

Sharmell is terrified of Boogeyman, Booker hides behind Boogeyman. Booker leaves the ring with Sharmell in there with Boogeyman, I had no clue this was a handicap match. Booker jumps Boogeyman, clubbing blows by Booker. Boogeyman chokes Booker, Sharmell distracts the referee. Low blow and thrustkick by Booker for two, Booker chokes Boogeyman with the bottom rope. Book-End for two, Boogeyman fights back. Scissors Kick is ducked, forearm by Boogeyman. Boogeyman has his worms, Boogeyman eats them. Sharmell has Boogeyman’s staff, Boogeyman catches Sharmell and Boogeyman kisses Sharmell. Sharmell runs to the back, Booker misses a clothesline. Boogeyman Slam thing and we have a winner.

It was a bit slow and bit too long for what it needed to be, Sharmell was more than likely the best part of the match. DUD!

Winner: The Boogeyman over Booker T via Boogeyman Slam!

(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Trish Stratus © vs Mickie James

Here we are at the culmination of one of the longest running storylines in women’s wrestling for the WWE. Mickie James came in as the ultimate Trish superfan. Mickie idolized Trish, Mickie knew everything about Trish. Mickie wanted to be Trish, Trish was creeped out by Mickie’s behaviour, Mickie would be hugging, kissing and seeing Trish naked. Trish cut off Mickie which led to Mickie knocking out Trish with a Mick Kick. Mickie was no longer the superfan, Mickie wanted to be the next women’s champion. Mickie had kidnapped Ashley to play mindgames with Trish, they would brawl with Mickie beating down Trish with her MickieDT. When you think of women’s angles in WWE, the only thing close was Victoria vs Trish from late 2002 which did not last nearly as long.

Lock-up, waistlock and slaps from Mickie. Trish elbows and forearms Mickie, Lou Thesz Press by Trish. Stomps by Trish, chops in the corner. Huge slaps from Trish, Mickie eats a huge kick to the head. Mickie is kicked to the floor, Trish misses a Chick Kick and smacks her foot against the ringpost. Mickie works the leg, wrapping it around the ringpost. Trish hobbles but fights on with forearms, Mickie goes for the leg. Leg snap DDT for two, Mickie is kicked off by Trish. Mickie focuses on the leg, single leg Boston crab by Mickie. Two for Mickie, Mickie chokes Trish in the corner while going back to the leg.

 Mickie basks in the applause of the fans, submission hold from Mickie, Trish escapes with a headscissors. Forearms by Trish, clothesline that takes down Mickie. Make it two, spinebuster by Trish for two. Whip to the corner, Mickie kicks off Trish. Mickie climbs to the top rope, Trish looks for her handstand headscissors, Mickie counters to wrench the leg of Trish off the mat. Two for Mickie, inside cradle by Trish for two. Trish powerbombs Mickie for two, mounted punches by Trish. Trish looks for Stratusfaction, Mickie grabs a feel of Trish’s private parts, Trish forearms Mickie but Mickie knees Trish in the face. Huge Mick Kick and we have a new champion.

That was a fitting match to bring this feud to Wrestlemania, Mickie was huge over with the fans in attendance. Mickie worked the hell out of Trish’s leg, there was good psychology and Mickie was a great character at the time while Trish was reaching a level in terms of wrestling ability for a WWE Diva that few would ever match, Trish and Mickie had chemistry together and this was the best match I had seen up to this point from WWE Divas. Look forward to more from these two, they were tremendous on this night.

Winner: Mickie James over Trish Stratus via Mick Kick!

Vince Prays!

Hilarious segment involving Vince praying before his match with his family, mocking God and Shawn Michaels. Vince says absurd things and acts like a stereotypical black preacher, priceless from Mcmahon.

(Casket Match) The Undertaker vs Mark Henry

Henry came back destroying Batista, battling Kurt Angle for the world heavyweight championship and targeting The Deadman. This leads us into a casket match with Taker’s streak on the line.

Match starts with Henry jumping Taker, who was taking off his coat. Henry stomps and punches Taker, Taker boots Henry and clotheslines Henry twice but Henry is on his feet. Clothesline by Henry, Henry chokes Taker. Henry drops all his weight across Taker’s back, Taker flops to the floor. Taker smacks Henry off the steel steps, Henry shakes it off to smack Taker off the steel steps. Taker fights back against Henry, Taker calls for Old School. Henry knocks down Taker, huge punt to the ribs. Henry chokes Taker by the casket, Taker stays in the game low blowing Henry. Taker boots Henry and delivers Old School. Complete Shot is blocked by Henry, Henry stomps on The Deadman.

 Henry misses Taker and lands in the casket, Taker pummels Henry. Henry unloads on Taker on the casket, Taker has Henry by the throat. Taker tees off on Henry, Henry plants Taker with The World’s Strongest Slam. Taker is kicked into the casket, Taker hotshots his way out. Headbutt by Taker, Henry survives the damage and clotheslines Taker. Henry ten punches Undertaker, Last Ride by Taker. Taker tosses Henry to the floor, Suicide Dive by Taker, Taker soars through the air. Tombstone from Taker, Henry is placed in the casket.

It was fine, casket matches are not the most dramatic affairs when it comes to wrestling, they are not high on my list when  I think of exciting matches. Taker does a top-notch job making Henry look like an absolute monster, struggling to get Henry off his feet. Taker entertains the fans too with his offense which makes the match enjoyable at the end of the day. A weaker match on the card but nothing to be ashamed of.

Winner: Undertaker over Mark Henry via Placement in The Casket!

(No Holds Barred Match) Shawn Michaels vs Vince Mcmahon W/ Shane Mcmahon

After returning in the fall of 2005, Vince was back to his egomaniac self, hogging time on Raw. Michaels stood up to Mcmahon, giving the boss crap for his behaviour. Vince did not appreciate being told to go fuck himself by Michaels, Vince made Michaels’ life hell. Michaels was screwed out of the rumble, Michaels was forced to kiss Vince’s ass. Michaels was decimated by The Mcmahons and The Spirit Squad, it was time for Michaels to gain revenge and nobody and I mean nobody is better than Vince Mcmahon taking an ass whooping when it came time for to pay for his sins.

Vince comes to the ring looking like he was gang-banged by an orange Crayola and jacked to the heavens, a grin on his face that seems like he is ready to drop the atomic-bomb. Vince unveils a cover of himself on a magazine, Michaels pummels Vince on the floor. Vince is bounced off the announce table, chops by HBK. Vince is thrown onto JR’s lap, right hands to the head by HBK. Vince is choked with the announcer’s headset. Microphone to the head, Michaels cracks Vince’s magazine cover over his head. Vince is cracked with the cover, The Spirit Squad come out to maul Michaels. The Spirit Squad drop Michaels, Kenny misses his leg drop. Michaels drops Mitch, Mikey, Nicky and Johnny. Kenny is tossed out on the rest of the goons.

Vince clotheslines Michaels, shoulder thrusts and choke from Vince. Vince takes off his belt and whips Michaels, Michaels is choked with the belt. Vince mocks Michaels and calls for sweet chin music, Michaels blocks and punches Vince. Flying forearm by Michaels, Vince is whipped with the belt. Scoop slam, Micheals drops the elbow on Vince. Shane whacks Michaels with a kendo stick to save Vince from sweet chin music. Vince wants Michaels to kiss his ass, Shane grabs Michaels for the moment. Michaels elbows Shane and shoves Shane into Vince’s ass. Low blow by Michaels, Shane is clotheslined to the floor.

Shane is handcuffed to the bottom rope, watching Michaels attack Vince. HBK mocks Shane and whips Shane with the kendo stick. HBK waffles Vince with a chair, Vince is bleeding everywhere. Michaels pulls out a ladder and Vince eats it in the face. Michaels grabs a table too, Vince is played on the table as Michael ascends the ladder, crotch-chopping DX style and dropping a massive elbow onto Vince’s blackheart. One final Sweet Chin Music and Vince is going nowhere. One final fuck you from Vince who flips off the camera men as he is stretchered away.

Tremendous match, Vince is the closest thing you will get to a pantomime villain. Vince gloats, laughs and struts while on top but when it comes time for Vince to get his ass kicked, he takes a beating that nobody else would take. Vince is not going to save face, Vince is not going to try to protect his character, Vince takes the asskicking of a lifetime and everyone loves every single minute of it, fantastic character work from Vince and they came close to stealing the show but I believe Edge and Mick Foley was a notch above this.

Winner: Shawn Michaels over Vince Mcmahon via Sweet Chin Music!

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Kurt Angle © vs Rey Mysterio vs Randy Orton

Angle was walking tall following beating Undertaker and Mark Henry, the question was who would he face at Wrestlemania. Mysterio had won the rumble but Randy Orton defeated Mysterio for the right to go to Wrestlemania, Theodore Long added Mysterio to the match. It was not the best way to put Mysterio in the match, Long felt sorry for Mysterio and put him in the match and that’s all there is to it? When The Rock lost his opportunity to Big Show, The Rock put his career on the line to win it back but Mysterio is simply handed the opportunity? Bullshit cough cough.

 Orton waffles Angle with the championship belt, Mysterio and Orton are in the ring. Dropkick by Orton, Angle German suplexes Orton once. Mysterio and Orton are suplexed by Angle, crowd goes nuts for the wrestling machine, two for Angle on Orton. Orton backbreakers Angle for two, Orton is whipped to the corner. Belly to belly suplex by Angle, Mysterio and Angle brawl. Orton is sat on the top rope, Mysterio is elevated by Angle onto Orton for a hurricanrana. Angle gets a two pinning Orton, Mysterio is thrown to the floor. Apron suplex by Angle for two, Angle clothesline Mysterio for two. Roll through kick to the head by Mysterio for two, headscissors by Mysterio. 619 is countered for an Ankle Lock, Mysterio taps but Orton had the referee distracted with a chair. Ankle Lock again, Orton saves Mysterio.

Orton and Angle trade bombs, German suplexes by Angle. Mysterio is Angle Slammed to the floor, Ankle Lock on Orton. Mysterio distracts the referee, Orton taps but Mysterio saves the match. Another Ankle Lock, Mysterio springboard leg drops Angle for two, Angle hurls Mysterio to the floor. Orton avoids The Angle Slam for an RKO, Orton covers for two. Orton is on the top rope, Angle sprints up and belly to belly suplexes Orton. Mysterio dropkicks Angle, springboard senton for two. Orton kicks out Angle, Orton seizes up Mysterio. Orton looks for his gutwrench neckbreaker, it connects for two. Angle Slam on Orton for two, Angle measures Mysterio.

Angle aims for it, Mysterio counters for an armdrag. Dropkick to the back of Orton, Orton is on the ropes. 619 by Mysterio, West Coast Pop and Mysterio does the impossible, Mysterio becomes champion for his friend Eddie Guerrero a beautiful bittersweet moment for Mysterio and the last time we would see Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania.

Well, it was balls to the walls from the get-go, they had their time cut and they wasted no time in dishing out as many awesome spots as they could, loved the three man spots. Angle was impressive, so over and so much to give with his wrestling machine character, shame that life problems would prevent Angle from more stellar performances in the company. Great moment from Mysterio, despite botching a 619 Mysterio was ridiculously good and Mysterio winning the championship by pinning Orton was poetic justice and fitting for the end of that feud.

Winner: Rey Mysterio over Kurt Angle & Randy Orton via 619!

(Playboy Pillow Fight) Candice Michelle vs Torrie Wilson

Both women had graced the cover of Playboy, both were extremely beautiful and this led to friction with Candice and Victoria ridding themselves of Torrie and disbanding Vince’s Devils. Candice and Torrie throw down on the bed, they role around slamming one another’s head onto the mat. Suplex by Torrie, Irish whip and backdrop onto the bed by Torrie. Candice is crushed by the bed and Torrie bounces on Candice. Torrie uses Chloe and wipes the dog on Candice’s face.

Torrie strips Candice to her underwear, nothing new there for Candice. Irish whip to the corner, Candice boots Torrie. Candice does her leg choke on the apron, nice move from Candice. Go Daddy dance from Candice, snapmare onto the bed. Candice drops a huge elbow onto the bed and uses a scissors to cut up Torrie’s dress. Torrie is rammed into the mat, Candice looks for a Playboy magazine. Whip to the corner, roll-up by Torrie and it is over.

Filler but I am not going to complain about that kind of filler. It served as a break from the serious nature of the other matches, it distracted the fans and now we are all nice and toasty for the main event of Wrestlemania.

Winner: Torrie Wilson over Candice Michelle via SchoolGirl!

(WWE Championship Match) Triple H vs John Cena ©

John Cena had been champion for all but three weeks of the last WWE calendar year, Cena had conquered the likes of JBL, Christian, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle to name a few. Cena was growing into the star that WWE wanted, the matches were not off the scales but Cena was doing his best. Cena is main eventing Wrestlemania for the first time and he could not ask for a better opponent in Triple H. However, Triple H had a history with certain talents and getting them over, sometimes it happened and other times it was a struggle. Triple H had a good track record at Mania though, putting over the likes of Batista and Benoit at the last two. So, Cena steps into a main event with a hostile crowd and needs to hit a home-run when in the ring with the man who is not the best at getting over newer talent. Let’s see how Cena fares in this match.

From the beginning, we have Triple H with an entrance that rivals the best of all-time, no pressure trying to top that Cena. The bell rings with the crowd being very pro-Triple H. Lock-up and side headlock by Triple H, hammerlock by Triple H and a paintbrushing from the cocky challenger. Armwrench from Triple H, Cena is kicked in the ass as The Game says bring it. Lock-up and knee by Triple H, whip to the corner with a reverse by Cena. Elbow by Triple H, Cena tries a quick FU, Triple H decks Cena with a right hand. Triple H is ruling this match with an iron fist, Triple H tosses Cena to the floor. Triple H poses which leads to Cena pummelling Triple H. Back drop, hard Irish whips to the corners. Fisherman suplex for two, reverse chinlock by Cena.

Lock-up with Triple H pushing back Cena, right hands by Cena. Triple H is sent to the floor, knee by Triple H. Triple H wants a piledriver on the ramp, Cena counters for a back drop on the ramp. High knee in the ring by Triple H, right hands by The Game. Cena is sent into the steel steps, two in the ring. Knee drop by Triple H for two, Cena comes back with right hands. Knee facebuster by The Game, huge clothesline. Two for Triple H, neckbreaker for two. Cena continues to fight back but Triple H puts down Cena once more. Neck vice by Triple H, Triple H sinks in a sleeper which weakens the champion. Cena backs Triple H into the corner, shoulder thrusts by Cena. Boot by Triple H but Cena fires back with a massive clothesline.

They trade bombs, Cena wins the war. Clotheslines and powerslam, spinning side slam by Cena. Triple H counters the five knuckle shuffle with a spinebuster for two. Cena counters for a side suplex and a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Drop toehold into The STFU, Triple H reaches the ropes to survive. FU attempt, Triple H squishes the referee with Cena, low blow by The Game. DX Suck It from Triple H, Triple H has his sledgehammer. Cena dodges and jabs The Game, Cena runs off the ropes and gets decked between the eyes. 1….2…. Cena kicks out! Pedigree is countered, back drop and an FU for two. Cena climbs to the top rope, Cena misses a crossbody. Pedigree is countered for an STFU. Triple H has to tap out, Cena retains his championship.

Tough match to rate, I had my reservations about The Game in there with Cena. Triple H had done some great work since coming back, the emotional feud with Flair and his Royal Rumble performance but I had a feeling about being in there with someone who was not one of his buddies. You have that feel to it as it begins with Triple H making Cena looking second rate with Cena taking control because Triple H was looking to the crowd, that could have been structured a bit better to help out your top babyface me thinks.

You have a referee bump which feels a little cheap for a Wrestlemania main event but I can look past that, Triple H never nails The Pedigree though yet Cena plants Triple with an FU and Triple H gets to kick out. Again, bit iffy on that decision but I felt that match was slow and not too much of what was going on in the ring meant anything until the referee bump. The crowd was like molten lava throughout which helped to carry the match but it was about on par with last year’s main event or perhaps slightly above. The most important part was placing Cena atop the WWE mountain, there was no doubting that Cena was the man.

Winner: John Cena over Triple H via STFU!

That was WWE’s Wrestlemania 22, one of the better Wrestlemanias in my opinion. The whole show had a good flow to it, only dull moments were Boogeyman and Playboy match but you needed those breaks because there was so much action going on in the show. A lot of memorable moments with Edge and Foley stealing the show but Michaels vs Mcmahon, the best women’s match in Mania history for many years in Mickie vs Trish, Mysterio’s crowning moment, just so much to it. I do think the main event was a little disappointing but not enough to sour the whole show, this was a great pay per view worthy of the title of Wrestlemania. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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