Welcome one and all to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that consistently draws lower than 3 million viewers on the USA network! WWE’s Summerslam 2004 has all the makings of a great card, big matches all over this one. From Smackdown, we have JBL vs Undertaker for the WWE Championship & Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero, Angle’s return match. On the Raw side, we have Chris Benoit vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship, & Triple H vs Eugene, not to forget the title matches for the mid-card championships. This could be a memorable show and not just for the ending, will this be a Summerslam to remember? Let’s find out!
WWE parodies the Summer Games with various WWE superstars taking part in events like the long jump, javelin throw, gymnastics and such. We also have the big matches like Orton vs Benoit, Eddie vs Angle, John Cena vs Edge and Diva Dodgeball. Not much in terms of telling the story of the matches but I cannot knock a promo package that runs down the entire card for me.
Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio vs The Dudley Boyz
We begin with a nice twist on the past, Spike Dudley has become the boss of The Dudley Boyz. Spike had often been disrespected by his brothers, Spike had been picked on and was almost the odd one out but no longer, Spike directs his brothers, leading the group in their battles. Mysterio was double-crossed by Spike, Mysterio is out for revenge with friends London & Kidman. D-Von and Kidman start, lock-up before Kidman throws big forearms. D-Von outpowers Kidman in the corner until a headscissors from Kidman, nice armdrag and a dropkick for two.
Tag to London, double back elbow, assist moonsault for two. London stomps on the back of D-Von, dropsault by London. London runs off the ropes but Bubba pulls on the hair of London, clothesline by D-Von. Tag to Spike, double stomp by Spike. Spike spits on Mysterio, Bubba elbows London in the nuts. Spike stomps all over London, tag to Bubba. Suplex and elbow drop by Bubba, tag to D-Von. Reverse chinlock by D-Von, London fires up before eating a powerslam. Tag to Bubba, Bubba slaps and kicks London. Eye rake and right hand by Bubba, London kicks back at Bubba. D-Von grabs London running the ropes, Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Enzuigiri by London to break free from Bubba, tag to Mysterio.
Mysterio dropkicks Spike, springboard leg drop by Mysterio. Super hurricanrana by Mysterio for two, Spike blocks a headscissors from the corner. Mysterio drops Bubba with a senton, reverse DDT to D-Von. Spike headbutts Mysterio, blind tag by Kidman. Reverse diving elbow by Kidman, back drop to D-Von. Sky High to Spike, Bubba saves the match. London is in the ring, D-Von & Bubba are on the floor. London dives onto Bubba, Hart Attack by Kidman & Mysterio. 619 to Spike, Kidman climbs high. Shooting Star Press, D-Von drags out Kidman. Mysterio misses a springboard to the floor, D-Von clotheslines London. Kidman is left with The Dudleys, 3D on Kidman. Spike covers for the win.
That was fun, a lot of energy with all the cruiserweights in the ring. Kidman and London looked like they could be a modern day Rockers with their cool double team manoeuvres. Spike had something to do for the first time in a long time, it was a new edge to his character, it was different and to be honest, I am digging it a lot. This could be a lot of fun for the Smackdown side.
Winners: Team Dudley over Team Mysterio via 3D!
(Til Death Do Us Part Match) Matt Hardy W/Lita vs Kane
Kane vs Hardy, the winner gets married to Lita. In a very questionable storyline, Kane raped Lita, Lita allowed this to happen to save Hardy. Lita is pregnant, the father is Kane and now these two are fighting again. Hardy starts hot, Side Effect and Leg Drops by Hardy for two. Tornado DDT by Hardy for two, Kane lures in Hardy for an uppercut. Clothesline and choke by Kane, corner clothesline by Kane. Right hands by Kane, Kane talks trash to Lita. Hardy lowbridges Kane, plancha by Hardy.
Hardy pummels Kane with right hands, Twist of Fate on the floor. Hardy almost wins by count-out, Kane re-enters the ring at nine. Lita grabs a ringbell, Lita distracts Lita. Hardy uses the ringbell, two for Hardy as Kane places his foot on the ropes. Hardy is on the top rope, Kane catches Hardy for a Chokeslam but Hardy escapes. Kane big boots Hardy, Kane is on the top rope. Hardy is on the top rope looking for a DDT, Kane counters for a top rope Chokeslam, Kane wins the match, Kane gets to marry Lita.
It was not much, very little time given to the match. Therefore, it was not horrible by any stretch of the imagination, it was not great either. It was just there, the storyline was ridiculous and the fans did not really but into, there was not a lot of sympathy for poor Lita.
Winner: Kane over Matt Hardy via Chokeslam!
Randy Orton/John Cena Segment
Todd Grisham interviews Orton about his championship match. Cena interrupts Orton, making fun of The Legend Killer. Orton ignores it and continues cutting his promo.
(Best of Five Series Match) John Cena vs Booker T ©
Booker T is the champion, this is match one of the series between the two. Cena eats elbows and chops from Booker, clothesline by Cena. Throwback for two, Booker places Cena on the top rope groin first, clothesline by Booker. Clothesline to the back by Booker, Cena is smashed off the ring apron. Side shuffle kick by Booker, big knee drop by the champion. Cena mounts a comeback, Harlem Sidekick by Booker. Camel clutch by Booker, Cena backs off Booker before eating a spinebuster. Sidewalk slam by Booker, reverse chinlock by Booker. Cena wriggles free for a small package, two for Cena.
Booker looks for The Scissors Kick, Cena dodges. Right hands by Cena, boot by Cena after an Irish whip, clothesline and back elbow by Cena. Booker shuts down Cena with a flapjack, Spinaroonie by Booker but Cena recovers for an FU for the win.
Ok, I am starting to see a pattern with this pay per view, every match is lasting roughly 6 to 8 minutes and as a result, it is hard to get into any of these matches. They are over in a flash, at least from a logic standpoint it makes sense for this angle as they will have five matches and you do not want to show all your tricks in the first match.
Winner: John Cena over Booker T via FU!
Eric Bischoff/Teddy Long Segment
Bischoff talks trash about Teddy Long, making fun of how Bischoff has survived three other Smackdown general managers. Teddy Long tells Bischoff he would sign any Raw superstar that hates Bischoff’s guts.
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Edge © vs Batista vs Chris Jericho
Edge had nobody to work with following Orton’s ascension to the main event scene on Raw so Edge finds himself defending his title against two men who were feuding with one another in Chris Jericho & Batista. Edge does not make it into the ring as Batista knocks Edge off the apron, Jericho chops Batista in the corner. Hard Irish whip by Batista, shoulder thrusts by The Animal. Shoulder block by Batista, Jericho fires back at Batista. The crossbody does not work, powerslam by Batista. Batista Bomb attempt by Batista, Edge saves Jericho with a chop black. Edge misses a middle rope axe handle, snake eyes by Batista. Jericho trips Batista, Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor.
Edge drop toeholds Batista into the steel steps, Edge & Jericho talk trash in the ring. Right hands by Jericho, knee to the gut by Edge. Jericho avoids The Edgecution, Walls of Jericho is countered for a small package. Two for Edge, Jericho nails a crossbody, Edge rolls through and uses the ropes for leverage, two for Edge. Eye poke by Y2J, Walls of Jericho! Jericho has Edge in the middle of the ring, Batista makes the save. Jericho is hurled into the ringpost, Edgecution on Batista. Two count as Batista powers out, Edge measures for The Spear. Jericho intercepts Edge, spinebuster by Batista on Jericho. Edge saves his title, Edge counters a spinebuster for a roll-up. Two for Edge, Edge lowbridges Batista, Jericho rolls-up Edge for two.
Right hands and chops by Jericho, Edge blocks the modified bulldog the first time but Jericho scores the second time. Jericho springboard dropkicks Batista off the apron, Edge capitalizes as Edge measures Jericho for The Spear. Edge connects, Edge covers Jericho and Edge wins the match.
Good match, you had Batista dominating the match. You had Jericho as a never say die babyface and Edge, Edge was the best part. Edge was showing signs of becoming a heel, Edge played with the crowd and heeled it up with his mannerisms, his facials and his little touches like using the tights and the ropes to gain advantage. Everyone had a good night in this match, looking forward to see where the three go over the next few months.
Winner: Edge over Jericho & Batista via Spear!
Kurt Angle W/Luther Reigns vs Eddie Guerrero
Angle could not get over the fact that Eddie cheated to win at Wrestlemania, Eddie was screwed out of the WWE Championship by Angle, both had their issues, this should be a fun match. Eddie had been the best part of Smackdown in Angle’s absence, Angle was sorely missed on the brand. Lock-up, Angle picks up Eddie and takes him down. Eddie takes the arm, firemen’s carry by Eddie. Angle has control, Eddie is in the corner. Eddie shoots for the leg, side headlock by Eddie. Angle trips Eddie, Eddie kicks off Angle and applies a side headlock takedown. Angle escapes for a top wristlock, Eddie wriggles free for a deep armbar. Angle switches for a German suplex, Eddie counters a German for an Ankle Lock.
Angle rolls through and rakes the eyes of Eddie, Angle Slam by Angle. Angle pulls down the straps, Eddie is caught. Eddie rolls through for his own Ankle Lock but Angle torques the ankle, Eddie reaches the ropes. Reigns cheap shots Eddie behind the referee’s back, Ankle Lock again by Angle. Eddie reaches the ropes, Angle wraps Eddie’s ankle around the ringpost. Eye poke by Eddie, chops by Latino Heat, Angle shoots for the ankle. STF by Angle, Angle keeps the pressure on the leg before Eddie boots Angle in the face. Eddie’s boot is loosened, Angle continues to rip at the boot of Eddie, STF by Angle. Jawbreaker by Eddie, Angle Slam by Eddie. Eddie mounts a comeback, right hand decks Angle.
Three Amigos by Eddie, Eddie calls for The Frog Splash. Angle was playing possum, Angle runs up for a massive belly to belly suplex, Eddie blocks an Angle Slam for a tornado DDT, Eddie climbs to the top rope again. Angle dodges The Frog Splash, Angle Slam for two. Angle rips off the boot, Ankle Lock again. Eddie pulls Angle into the referee, Eddie has his boot. Boot to the head of Angle and to Reigns, Eddie collapses to the mat, fooling the referee. Eddie nails The Frog Splash, Angle kicks out of Eddie’s finishing move. Angle fools Eddie by playing possum, Ankle Lock by Angle. Angle grapvines the ankle, Eddie has to tap out to the pain.
A good match, a bit of a finisher fest at one point. I saw four Angle Slams with three connecting, the damage was done to the ankle with the Ankle Lock as well which was weird, no build up to the hold. Angle was using that throughout, the eye poke that drew blood did not play into the finish either so there were parts that I thought were strange. However, I loved the twist on their finish from Wrestlemania with Angle purposely taking off the boot of Eddie to weaken the ankle of Eddie and allow Angle to do maximum damage.
Winner: Kurt Angle over Eddie Guerrero via Ankle Lock!
Triple H vs Eugene
Triple H had manipulated Eugene, taking advantage of the simple-minded Eugene. This was actually quite gripping with Triple H involving Eugene’s mentor and Triple H’s former manager and tag team partner William Regal. Regal cried real tears when Eugene was assaulted by Triple H, Eugene looked heartbroken as Triple H dismantled Regal, it had a lot of drama and heat to for a match that was seemingly so one-sided in The Game’s favour. We begin with a slugfest, Triple H gains control being the bigger and tougher of the two. Right hands stagger Eugene, Eugene back elbows Triple H. Right hands into a back body drop, Triple H powders to the floor. Double axe handle by Eugene, Triple H begs for mercy and hides behind Lillian Garcia.
Triple H throws down Lillian, Eugene checks on Lillian. Triple H takes control with a boot, Triple H stomps Eugene in the corner. Triple H readies the announce table for Eugene’s carcass, Triple H wants to suplex Eugene from the ring to the table, Eugene counters for his own suplex. Ten punches by Eugene, Triple H holds his knee off an Irish whip. Eugene backs off as Triple H revels his ruse and attacks Eugene, sending Eugene to the floor. Backbreaker by The Game, Triple H kicks at the head of Eugene. Eugene dodges a scoop slam, headbutt and knee lift from Eugene. Stomps by Eugene, Triple H begs for mercy. Triple H extends a hand, Eugene shakes and Rock Bottoms Triple H.
Triple H reverses The People’s Elbow for a spinebuster, Triple H stomps all over Eugene. Choke by Triple H, Irish whip into the steel steps by The Game. Triple H mounts Eugene with right hands, Triple H rakes at the face of Eugene. Right hand by Eugene, Eugene fights back before Triple H applies a sleeper. Pedigree attempt blocked, Eugene scores with a back drop. Triple H rams Eugene’s head into the turnbuckles, Eugene hulks up for rights and lefts, inverted atomic drop and a clothesline by Eugene. Eugene flips off Triple H for a Stunner, Triple H bumps to the floor. Triple H is bounced off the steel steps, Flair appears on the ramp.
Boot by Eugene, Leg Drop by Eugene. Flair is decked off the apron, Eugene tries a double axe handle, Pedigree is blocked again. Eugene measures for his own Pedigree, Pedigree by Eugene. Flair places Triple H’s foot on the ropes, Flair grabs Eugene’s foot. The referee ejects Flair, William Regal has his brass knuckles, Regal decks Flair. Eugene is distracted, Triple H Pedigrees Eugene for the win, Triple H escapes with the win before Regal can deliver a knockout blow.
I was left disappointed by this match, I liked the angle going into the match. The Regal stuff was epic, this match needed to be a bloody affair with lots of heat, you did not get it for a few reasons. The crowd was not with Eugene, marks can hurt an angle and it happened on this night with Triple H being cheered and Eugene’s antics being booed. The other knock on the match was Eugene was enraged by Triple H’s betrayal and attacks on his mentor Regal. That should have led to an angry Eugene, a Eugene who was serious and not doing the silly things. I know it is part of his gimmick but could Eugene not be serious for this one moment, should Eugene not have been ready to kick some serious ass? The one match where Eugene needed not to be goody, we did not get it and the match suffered in my eyes.
Winner: Triple H over Eugene via Pedigree!
Why did they cover up all the WWE Divas? Anyways, the diva contest women are in underwear, I think this must have been one of the most successful years as I think every Diva on the Diva Contest team made it bar one. Maria, Amy Weber, Christy Hemme, Joy Giovanni and Michelle McCool would be signed. You might be wondering why I am not talking about this match, it is a lot of shouting, screaming which leads to The Diva Contest Team winning this “match”.
(WWE Championship Match) JBL © vs The Undertaker
Having returned at Wrestlemania, Undertaker had ran through every relevant heel on the Smackdown side of the roster except for the returning Kurt Angle who was busy with Eddie Guerrero, this leads us to Summerslam with JBL. Lock-up, Taker shoves JBL to the floor. JBL is on the back foot, JBL tries distracting Taker with Orlando Jordan. It does not work, Taker attacks JBL, armwringer by Taker. JBL cuts off Taker before Old School , neckbreaker by JBL. Right hands by Taker, sidewalk slam by JBL for two. JBL is on the top rope, diving shoulder block and an elbow for two. Boot to the face by JBL, hard Irish whip by JBL. Taker lures in JBL for a Fujiwara armbar. Shots to the left arm by Taker, Old School connects this time.
Complete shot by Taker for two, triangle choke by Taker. Orlando Jordan places JBL’s foot on the ropes, JBL boots Taker. Boot by Taker, Orlando Jordan is booted off the apron. Taker is stuck on the top rope, JBL chop blocks Taker. JBL sends Taker’s foot into the ringpost, JBL waffles Taker’s ankle with a chair while Jordan distracts the referee. Taker fights back with right hands, JBL sweeps the legs of Taker. Taker hits the steel steps ankle first, JBL attacks the leg. The crowd are so into the match they begin doing the wave, poor JBL and Taker. Taker reverses JBL’s hold for a single leg Boston crab, JBL reaches the ropes. Rolling kneebar by Taker, right hand by Taker leaves JBL on the floor. Taker has JBL on the apron, Taker drops the leg across the throat of the champion.
Hotshot by JBL, Taker crotches JBL on the top turnbuckle. Superplex by Taker, two for Taker. Taker motions for The Last Ride, JBL trips Taker applying a spinning toehold, Taker grabs the throat for a Chokeslam, JBL kicks off Taker but eats a spinebuster for two. Slugfest, Taker wins that war. Leaping clothesline by Taker, corner clotheslines by Taker. Snake eyes and a clothesline by Taker for two, Taker motions for The Chokeslam. It connects, two for Taker. Jordan distracts Taker, Clothesline From Hell by JBL. Taker kicks out! Taker pummels JBL before Taker accidently whips JBL into the referee. Both men down after a big boot, Jordan grabs the championship belt. JBL nails Taker, Taker kicks out at two. Jordan is thrown to the floor, Clothesline From Hell by JBL.
JBL tries ten punches in the corner, The Last Ride by Taker. Referee rolls over to count, JBL kicks out at two and a half. Taker boots Jordan who had the belt, Taker has the belt and waffles JBL with the championship. JBL escapes with the DQ win but Taker Chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limo.
That was a disappointing end to a solid match, Undertaker sold the leg throughout the match, JBL worked over the leg. I liked the story they were telling, Jordan was a nuisance at ringside playing his part to perfection. That finish was trash though, big show like Summerslam should not have a main event end in a DQ but they were not doing JBL any favours as champion. The man had not once to this point been portrayed as a champion, Smackdown had its day with the likes of Lesnar, Angle and Benoit but in 2004, Smackdown was not the shining light it had been in 2002 & 2003.
Winner: JBL over Undertaker via DQ!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Randy Orton vs Chris Benoit ©
Benoit had defied the odds, Benoit had knocked back Michaels, Triple H and Kane, some of the very best the WWE had to offer, Benoit was no fluke. However, while Benoit was the champion representing RAW, The Legend Killer was taking tentative steps into becoming the big new star in the WWE. Orton had a tremendous match with Mick Foley at Backlash and we were off to the races, Orton now has a chance to win The World Heavyweight Championship.
Lock-up, Benoit backs Orton into the corner. Orton takes the arm, Benoit trips the leg and grabs the side headlock. Orton backs Benoit into the corner, clean break from Orton. Test of strength, Benoit wins out, taking the arm of Orton. Armdrag by Benoit, Benoit wrenches the arm. Shoulder block by Orton, Orton poses before Benoit applies a deep armdrag. Orton misses a dropkick, Benoit applies The Sharpshooter but Orton reverses for his own sharpshooter. Benoit reverses for his own Sharpshooter, transition to The Crossface. Orton slides to the floor with Benoit on him and sends Benoit into the ringpost. Orton does it again, Benoit grimaces in pain.
Orton covers using the ropes, the referee catches Orton. Armbar by Orton, Benoit chops back at Orton before Orton suplexes Benoit onto the top rope. They battle on the apron before Benoit DDTs Orton on the apron, that looked painful. Two for Benoit, Orton rolls to the floor, baseball slide by Benoit. Orton avoids the suicide dive, two for Orton in the ring. Orton works the neck, camel clutch from Orton. Benoit fires up, uppercut by Orton. Modified gutwrench neckbreaker by Orton, two for Orton.
Reverse chinlock by Orton, chops by Benoit. Mid-air collision with both collapsing to the floor. Slugfest, headbutt by Benoit. Back elbows by Benoit, back body drop by Benoit. Orton blocks the German suplex, northern lights suplex by Benoit for two. Benoit places Orton on the top turnbuckle, Orton shoves off Benoit. Crossbody by Orton for two, Orton measures for The RKO. Benoit shoves off Orton for a clothesline, Sharpshooter is blocked by Orton. German suplex by Benoit, Sharpshooter by Benoit. Orton crawls to the ropes, six German suplexes by Benoit. Orton counters The Diving Headbutt with a boot to the head from the ground.
Benoit counters a cradle for a Crossface, Orton rolls over to escape. RKO by Orton, Orton covers and Orton wins his first championship in WWE, Orton wins at 24 years of age! Benoit shakes the hand of the new champion, endorsing The Legend Killer.
That was a really good match, you had a great transition into the heat segment after the suicide dive, that dive looked absolutely nasty. Orton more than held his own in the ring with the best technical wrestler in the WWE at that point. It was intense, dramatic, had a lot of nice little touches with Orton’s sharpshooter, Benoit’s multiple suplexes and Orton gaining control of the match through counters and outwrestling The Rabid Wolverine. It was great, sad that it will be relegated to the forgotten pile when they look back on the WWE due to Benoit’s actions.
Winner: Randy Orton over Chris Benoit via RKO!
That was WWE’s Summerslam of 2004, a show that was average and in the middle for one of the big four. Every match on the card besides maybe the opening match, had a big fight feel to it and an importance. The problem lay with the timing of the show, a lot of matches which could have been good were over in under 8 minutes, it was hard to invest in Matt Hardy losing Lita to Kane, it was hard to care for Edge retaining his championship or Cena picking up a big first match win against Booker T.
The second problem is not many of the bigger matches delivered, I like Eddie vs Angle despite the weird way it played out with finishers replacing psychology, I was not a huge fan of Eugene vs Triple H, I do not mind Eugene being distracted for the finish, his mind wanders I understand that but he does not have to be so foolish and light-hearted after seeing Regal beaten half to death. Undertaker vs JBL had a finish that did no favours for anyone and Orton vs Benoit was match of the night by far and a bright spot on this card. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!