Welcome one
and all to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling
review series on the internet that consistently draws lower than 3 million
viewers on the USA network! WWE’s Summerslam 2004 has all the makings of a
great card, big matches all over this one. From Smackdown, we have JBL vs
Undertaker for the WWE Championship & Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero, Angle’s
return match. On the Raw side, we have Chris Benoit vs Randy Orton for the
World Heavyweight Championship, & Triple H vs Eugene, not to forget the
title matches for the mid-card championships. This could be a memorable show
and not just for the ending, will this be a Summerslam to remember? Let’s find
out!
Opening Promo
WWE parodies
the Summer Games with various WWE superstars taking part in events like the
long jump, javelin throw, gymnastics and such. We also have the big matches
like Orton vs Benoit, Eddie vs Angle, John Cena vs Edge and Diva Dodgeball. Not
much in terms of telling the story of the matches but I cannot knock a promo
package that runs down the entire card for me.
Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio vs The Dudley Boyz
We begin
with a nice twist on the past, Spike Dudley has become the boss of The Dudley
Boyz. Spike had often been disrespected by his brothers, Spike had been picked
on and was almost the odd one out but no longer, Spike directs his brothers,
leading the group in their battles. Mysterio was double-crossed by Spike,
Mysterio is out for revenge with friends London & Kidman. D-Von and Kidman
start, lock-up before Kidman throws big forearms. D-Von outpowers Kidman in the
corner until a headscissors from Kidman, nice armdrag and a dropkick for two.
Tag to
London, double back elbow, assist moonsault for two. London stomps on the back
of D-Von, dropsault by London. London runs off the ropes but Bubba pulls on the
hair of London, clothesline by D-Von. Tag to Spike, double stomp by Spike.
Spike spits on Mysterio, Bubba elbows London in the nuts. Spike stomps all over
London, tag to Bubba. Suplex and elbow drop by Bubba, tag to D-Von. Reverse
chinlock by D-Von, London fires up before eating a powerslam. Tag to Bubba,
Bubba slaps and kicks London. Eye rake and right hand by Bubba, London kicks
back at Bubba. D-Von grabs London running the ropes, Bubba hits D-Von by
mistake. Enzuigiri by London to break free from Bubba, tag to Mysterio.
Mysterio
dropkicks Spike, springboard leg drop by Mysterio. Super hurricanrana by
Mysterio for two, Spike blocks a headscissors from the corner. Mysterio drops
Bubba with a senton, reverse DDT to D-Von. Spike headbutts Mysterio, blind tag
by Kidman. Reverse diving elbow by Kidman, back drop to D-Von. Sky High to
Spike, Bubba saves the match. London is in the ring, D-Von & Bubba are on
the floor. London dives onto Bubba, Hart Attack by Kidman & Mysterio. 619
to Spike, Kidman climbs high. Shooting Star Press, D-Von drags out Kidman.
Mysterio misses a springboard to the floor, D-Von clotheslines London. Kidman
is left with The Dudleys, 3D on Kidman. Spike covers for the win.
That was
fun, a lot of energy with all the cruiserweights in the ring. Kidman and London
looked like they could be a modern day Rockers with their cool double team
manoeuvres. Spike had something to do for the first time in a long time, it was
a new edge to his character, it was different and to be honest, I am digging it
a lot. This could be a lot of fun for the Smackdown side.
Winners:
Team Dudley over Team Mysterio via 3D!
(Til Death Do Us Part Match) Matt Hardy W/Lita vs Kane
Kane vs
Hardy, the winner gets married to Lita. In a very questionable storyline, Kane
raped Lita, Lita allowed this to happen to save Hardy. Lita is pregnant, the
father is Kane and now these two are fighting again. Hardy starts hot, Side
Effect and Leg Drops by Hardy for two. Tornado DDT by Hardy for two, Kane lures
in Hardy for an uppercut. Clothesline and choke by Kane, corner clothesline by
Kane. Right hands by Kane, Kane talks trash to Lita. Hardy lowbridges Kane,
plancha by Hardy.
Hardy
pummels Kane with right hands, Twist of Fate on the floor. Hardy almost wins by
count-out, Kane re-enters the ring at nine. Lita grabs a ringbell, Lita
distracts Lita. Hardy uses the ringbell, two for Hardy as Kane places his foot
on the ropes. Hardy is on the top rope, Kane catches Hardy for a Chokeslam but
Hardy escapes. Kane big boots Hardy, Kane is on the top rope. Hardy is on the
top rope looking for a DDT, Kane counters for a top rope Chokeslam, Kane wins
the match, Kane gets to marry Lita.
It was not
much, very little time given to the match. Therefore, it was not horrible by
any stretch of the imagination, it was not great either. It was just there, the
storyline was ridiculous and the fans did not really but into, there was not a
lot of sympathy for poor Lita.
Winner:
Kane over Matt Hardy via Chokeslam!
Randy Orton/John Cena Segment
Todd Grisham
interviews Orton about his championship match. Cena interrupts Orton, making
fun of The Legend Killer. Orton ignores it and continues cutting his promo.
(Best of Five Series Match) John Cena vs Booker T ©
Booker T is
the champion, this is match one of the series between the two. Cena eats elbows
and chops from Booker, clothesline by Cena. Throwback for two, Booker places
Cena on the top rope groin first, clothesline by Booker. Clothesline to the
back by Booker, Cena is smashed off the ring apron. Side shuffle kick by
Booker, big knee drop by the champion. Cena mounts a comeback, Harlem Sidekick
by Booker. Camel clutch by Booker, Cena backs off Booker before eating a
spinebuster. Sidewalk slam by Booker, reverse chinlock by Booker. Cena wriggles
free for a small package, two for Cena.
Booker looks
for The Scissors Kick, Cena dodges. Right hands by Cena, boot by Cena after an
Irish whip, clothesline and back elbow by Cena. Booker shuts down Cena with a flapjack,
Spinaroonie by Booker but Cena recovers for an FU for the win.
Ok, I am
starting to see a pattern with this pay per view, every match is lasting
roughly 6 to 8 minutes and as a result, it is hard to get into any of these
matches. They are over in a flash, at least from a logic standpoint it makes
sense for this angle as they will have five matches and you do not want to show
all your tricks in the first match.
Winner:
John Cena over Booker T via FU!
Eric Bischoff/Teddy Long Segment
Bischoff
talks trash about Teddy Long, making fun of how Bischoff has survived three
other Smackdown general managers. Teddy Long tells Bischoff he would sign any
Raw superstar that hates Bischoff’s guts.
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Edge © vs Batista
vs Chris Jericho
Edge had
nobody to work with following Orton’s ascension to the main event scene on Raw
so Edge finds himself defending his title against two men who were feuding with
one another in Chris Jericho & Batista. Edge does not make it into the ring
as Batista knocks Edge off the apron, Jericho chops Batista in the corner. Hard
Irish whip by Batista, shoulder thrusts by The Animal. Shoulder block by
Batista, Jericho fires back at Batista. The crossbody does not work, powerslam
by Batista. Batista Bomb attempt by Batista, Edge saves Jericho with a chop
black. Edge misses a middle rope axe handle, snake eyes by Batista. Jericho
trips Batista, Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor.
Edge drop
toeholds Batista into the steel steps, Edge & Jericho talk trash in the
ring. Right hands by Jericho, knee to the gut by Edge. Jericho avoids The
Edgecution, Walls of Jericho is countered for a small package. Two for Edge,
Jericho nails a crossbody, Edge rolls through and uses the ropes for leverage,
two for Edge. Eye poke by Y2J, Walls of Jericho! Jericho has Edge in the middle
of the ring, Batista makes the save. Jericho is hurled into the ringpost,
Edgecution on Batista. Two count as Batista powers out, Edge measures for The
Spear. Jericho intercepts Edge, spinebuster by Batista on Jericho. Edge saves
his title, Edge counters a spinebuster for a roll-up. Two for Edge, Edge
lowbridges Batista, Jericho rolls-up Edge for two.
Right hands
and chops by Jericho, Edge blocks the modified bulldog the first time but
Jericho scores the second time. Jericho springboard dropkicks Batista off the
apron, Edge capitalizes as Edge measures Jericho for The Spear. Edge connects,
Edge covers Jericho and Edge wins the match.
Good match,
you had Batista dominating the match. You had Jericho as a never say die
babyface and Edge, Edge was the best part. Edge was showing signs of becoming a
heel, Edge played with the crowd and heeled it up with his mannerisms, his
facials and his little touches like using the tights and the ropes to gain
advantage. Everyone had a good night in this match, looking forward to see
where the three go over the next few months.
Winner:
Edge over Jericho & Batista via Spear!
Kurt Angle W/Luther Reigns vs Eddie Guerrero
Angle could
not get over the fact that Eddie cheated to win at Wrestlemania, Eddie was
screwed out of the WWE Championship by Angle, both had their issues, this
should be a fun match. Eddie had been the best part of Smackdown in Angle’s
absence, Angle was sorely missed on the brand. Lock-up, Angle picks up Eddie
and takes him down. Eddie takes the arm, firemen’s carry by Eddie. Angle has
control, Eddie is in the corner. Eddie shoots for the leg, side headlock by
Eddie. Angle trips Eddie, Eddie kicks off Angle and applies a side headlock
takedown. Angle escapes for a top wristlock, Eddie wriggles free for a deep
armbar. Angle switches for a German suplex, Eddie counters a German for an
Ankle Lock.
Angle rolls
through and rakes the eyes of Eddie, Angle Slam by Angle. Angle pulls down the
straps, Eddie is caught. Eddie rolls through for his own Ankle Lock but Angle
torques the ankle, Eddie reaches the ropes. Reigns cheap shots Eddie behind the
referee’s back, Ankle Lock again by Angle. Eddie reaches the ropes, Angle wraps
Eddie’s ankle around the ringpost. Eye poke by Eddie, chops by Latino Heat,
Angle shoots for the ankle. STF by Angle, Angle keeps the pressure on the leg
before Eddie boots Angle in the face. Eddie’s boot is loosened, Angle continues
to rip at the boot of Eddie, STF by Angle. Jawbreaker by Eddie, Angle Slam by
Eddie. Eddie mounts a comeback, right hand decks Angle.
Three Amigos
by Eddie, Eddie calls for The Frog Splash. Angle was playing possum, Angle runs
up for a massive belly to belly suplex, Eddie blocks an Angle Slam for a
tornado DDT, Eddie climbs to the top rope again. Angle dodges The Frog Splash,
Angle Slam for two. Angle rips off the boot, Ankle Lock again. Eddie pulls
Angle into the referee, Eddie has his boot. Boot to the head of Angle and to
Reigns, Eddie collapses to the mat, fooling the referee. Eddie nails The Frog
Splash, Angle kicks out of Eddie’s finishing move. Angle fools Eddie by playing
possum, Ankle Lock by Angle. Angle grapvines the ankle, Eddie has to tap out to
the pain.
A good
match, a bit of a finisher fest at one point. I saw four Angle Slams with three
connecting, the damage was done to the ankle with the Ankle Lock as well which
was weird, no build up to the hold. Angle was using that throughout, the eye
poke that drew blood did not play into the finish either so there were parts
that I thought were strange. However, I loved the twist on their finish from
Wrestlemania with Angle purposely taking off the boot of Eddie to weaken the
ankle of Eddie and allow Angle to do maximum damage.
Winner:
Kurt Angle over Eddie Guerrero via Ankle Lock!
Triple H vs Eugene
Triple H had
manipulated Eugene, taking advantage of the simple-minded Eugene. This was
actually quite gripping with Triple H involving Eugene’s mentor and Triple H’s
former manager and tag team partner William Regal. Regal cried real tears when
Eugene was assaulted by Triple H, Eugene looked heartbroken as Triple H
dismantled Regal, it had a lot of drama and heat to for a match that was
seemingly so one-sided in The Game’s favour. We begin with a slugfest, Triple H
gains control being the bigger and tougher of the two. Right hands stagger
Eugene, Eugene back elbows Triple H. Right hands into a back body drop, Triple
H powders to the floor. Double axe handle by Eugene, Triple H begs for mercy
and hides behind Lillian Garcia.
Triple H
throws down Lillian, Eugene checks on Lillian. Triple H takes control with a
boot, Triple H stomps Eugene in the corner. Triple H readies the announce table
for Eugene’s carcass, Triple H wants to suplex Eugene from the ring to the
table, Eugene counters for his own suplex. Ten punches by Eugene, Triple H
holds his knee off an Irish whip. Eugene backs off as Triple H revels his ruse
and attacks Eugene, sending Eugene to the floor. Backbreaker by The Game,
Triple H kicks at the head of Eugene. Eugene dodges a scoop slam, headbutt and
knee lift from Eugene. Stomps by Eugene, Triple H begs for mercy. Triple H
extends a hand, Eugene shakes and Rock Bottoms Triple H.
Triple H
reverses The People’s Elbow for a spinebuster, Triple H stomps all over Eugene.
Choke by Triple H, Irish whip into the steel steps by The Game. Triple H mounts
Eugene with right hands, Triple H rakes at the face of Eugene. Right hand by
Eugene, Eugene fights back before Triple H applies a sleeper. Pedigree attempt
blocked, Eugene scores with a back drop. Triple H rams Eugene’s head into the
turnbuckles, Eugene hulks up for rights and lefts, inverted atomic drop and a
clothesline by Eugene. Eugene flips off Triple H for a Stunner, Triple H bumps
to the floor. Triple H is bounced off the steel steps, Flair appears on the
ramp.
Boot by
Eugene, Leg Drop by Eugene. Flair is decked off the apron, Eugene tries a
double axe handle, Pedigree is blocked again. Eugene measures for his own
Pedigree, Pedigree by Eugene. Flair places Triple H’s foot on the ropes, Flair
grabs Eugene’s foot. The referee ejects Flair, William Regal has his brass
knuckles, Regal decks Flair. Eugene is distracted, Triple H Pedigrees Eugene
for the win, Triple H escapes with the win before Regal can deliver a knockout
blow.
I was left
disappointed by this match, I liked the angle going into the match. The Regal
stuff was epic, this match needed to be a bloody affair with lots of heat, you
did not get it for a few reasons. The crowd was not with Eugene, marks can hurt
an angle and it happened on this night with Triple H being cheered and Eugene’s
antics being booed. The other knock on the match was Eugene was enraged by
Triple H’s betrayal and attacks on his mentor Regal. That should have led to an
angry Eugene, a Eugene who was serious and not doing the silly things. I know
it is part of his gimmick but could Eugene not be serious for this one moment,
should Eugene not have been ready to kick some serious ass? The one match where
Eugene needed not to be goody, we did not get it and the match suffered in my
eyes.
Winner:
Triple H over Eugene via Pedigree!
Diva Dodgeball
Why did they
cover up all the WWE Divas? Anyways, the diva contest women are in underwear, I
think this must have been one of the most successful years as I think every
Diva on the Diva Contest team made it bar one. Maria, Amy Weber, Christy Hemme,
Joy Giovanni and Michelle McCool would be signed. You might be wondering why I
am not talking about this match, it is a lot of shouting, screaming which leads
to The Diva Contest Team winning this “match”.
(WWE Championship Match) JBL © vs The Undertaker
Having
returned at Wrestlemania, Undertaker had ran through every relevant heel on the
Smackdown side of the roster except for the returning Kurt Angle who was busy
with Eddie Guerrero, this leads us to Summerslam with JBL. Lock-up, Taker
shoves JBL to the floor. JBL is on the back foot, JBL tries distracting Taker
with Orlando Jordan. It does not work, Taker attacks JBL, armwringer by Taker.
JBL cuts off Taker before Old School , neckbreaker by JBL. Right hands by Taker,
sidewalk slam by JBL for two. JBL is on the top rope, diving shoulder block and
an elbow for two. Boot to the face by JBL, hard Irish whip by JBL. Taker lures
in JBL for a Fujiwara armbar. Shots to the left arm by Taker, Old School
connects this time.
Complete
shot by Taker for two, triangle choke by Taker. Orlando Jordan places JBL’s
foot on the ropes, JBL boots Taker. Boot by Taker, Orlando Jordan is booted off
the apron. Taker is stuck on the top rope, JBL chop blocks Taker. JBL sends
Taker’s foot into the ringpost, JBL waffles Taker’s ankle with a chair while
Jordan distracts the referee. Taker fights back with right hands, JBL sweeps
the legs of Taker. Taker hits the steel steps ankle first, JBL attacks the leg.
The crowd are so into the match they begin doing the wave, poor JBL and Taker.
Taker reverses JBL’s hold for a single leg Boston crab, JBL reaches the ropes.
Rolling kneebar by Taker, right hand by Taker leaves JBL on the floor. Taker
has JBL on the apron, Taker drops the leg across the throat of the champion.
Hotshot by
JBL, Taker crotches JBL on the top turnbuckle. Superplex by Taker, two for
Taker. Taker motions for The Last Ride, JBL trips Taker applying a spinning
toehold, Taker grabs the throat for a Chokeslam, JBL kicks off Taker but eats a
spinebuster for two. Slugfest, Taker wins that war. Leaping clothesline by
Taker, corner clotheslines by Taker. Snake eyes and a clothesline by Taker for
two, Taker motions for The Chokeslam. It connects, two for Taker. Jordan
distracts Taker, Clothesline From Hell by JBL. Taker kicks out! Taker pummels
JBL before Taker accidently whips JBL into the referee. Both men down after a
big boot, Jordan grabs the championship belt. JBL nails Taker, Taker kicks out
at two. Jordan is thrown to the floor, Clothesline From Hell by JBL.
JBL tries
ten punches in the corner, The Last Ride by Taker. Referee rolls over to count,
JBL kicks out at two and a half. Taker boots Jordan who had the belt, Taker has
the belt and waffles JBL with the championship. JBL escapes with the DQ win but
Taker Chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limo.
That was a
disappointing end to a solid match, Undertaker sold the leg throughout the
match, JBL worked over the leg. I liked the story they were telling, Jordan was
a nuisance at ringside playing his part to perfection. That finish was trash
though, big show like Summerslam should not have a main event end in a DQ but
they were not doing JBL any favours as champion. The man had not once to this
point been portrayed as a champion, Smackdown had its day with the likes of Lesnar,
Angle and Benoit but in 2004, Smackdown was not the shining light it had been
in 2002 & 2003.
Winner: JBL
over Undertaker via DQ!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Randy Orton vs
Chris Benoit ©
Benoit had
defied the odds, Benoit had knocked back Michaels, Triple H and Kane, some of
the very best the WWE had to offer, Benoit was no fluke. However, while Benoit
was the champion representing RAW, The Legend Killer was taking tentative steps
into becoming the big new star in the WWE. Orton had a tremendous match with
Mick Foley at Backlash and we were off to the races, Orton now has a chance to
win The World Heavyweight Championship.
Lock-up,
Benoit backs Orton into the corner. Orton takes the arm, Benoit trips the leg
and grabs the side headlock. Orton backs Benoit into the corner, clean break
from Orton. Test of strength, Benoit wins out, taking the arm of Orton. Armdrag
by Benoit, Benoit wrenches the arm. Shoulder block by Orton, Orton poses before
Benoit applies a deep armdrag. Orton misses a dropkick, Benoit applies The
Sharpshooter but Orton reverses for his own sharpshooter. Benoit reverses for
his own Sharpshooter, transition to The Crossface. Orton slides to the floor
with Benoit on him and sends Benoit into the ringpost. Orton does it again,
Benoit grimaces in pain.
Orton covers
using the ropes, the referee catches Orton. Armbar by Orton, Benoit chops back
at Orton before Orton suplexes Benoit onto the top rope. They battle on the
apron before Benoit DDTs Orton on the apron, that looked painful. Two for
Benoit, Orton rolls to the floor, baseball slide by Benoit. Orton avoids the
suicide dive, two for Orton in the ring. Orton works the neck, camel clutch
from Orton. Benoit fires up, uppercut by Orton. Modified gutwrench neckbreaker
by Orton, two for Orton.
Reverse
chinlock by Orton, chops by Benoit. Mid-air collision with both collapsing to
the floor. Slugfest, headbutt by Benoit. Back elbows by Benoit, back body drop
by Benoit. Orton blocks the German suplex, northern lights suplex by Benoit for
two. Benoit places Orton on the top turnbuckle, Orton shoves off Benoit.
Crossbody by Orton for two, Orton measures for The RKO. Benoit shoves off Orton
for a clothesline, Sharpshooter is blocked by Orton. German suplex by Benoit,
Sharpshooter by Benoit. Orton crawls to the ropes, six German suplexes by
Benoit. Orton counters The Diving Headbutt with a boot to the head from the
ground.
Benoit
counters a cradle for a Crossface, Orton rolls over to escape. RKO by Orton,
Orton covers and Orton wins his first championship in WWE, Orton wins at 24
years of age! Benoit shakes the hand of the new champion, endorsing The Legend
Killer.
That was a
really good match, you had a great transition into the heat segment after the
suicide dive, that dive looked absolutely nasty. Orton more than held his own
in the ring with the best technical wrestler in the WWE at that point. It was
intense, dramatic, had a lot of nice little touches with Orton’s sharpshooter,
Benoit’s multiple suplexes and Orton gaining control of the match through
counters and outwrestling The Rabid Wolverine. It was great, sad that it will
be relegated to the forgotten pile when they look back on the WWE due to Benoit’s
actions.
Winner:
Randy Orton over Chris Benoit via RKO!
That was WWE’s
Summerslam of 2004, a show that was average and in the middle for one of the
big four. Every match on the card besides maybe the opening match, had a big
fight feel to it and an importance. The problem lay with the timing of the
show, a lot of matches which could have been good were over in under 8 minutes,
it was hard to invest in Matt Hardy losing Lita to Kane, it was hard to care for
Edge retaining his championship or Cena picking up a big first match win
against Booker T.
The second
problem is not many of the bigger matches delivered, I like Eddie vs Angle
despite the weird way it played out with finishers replacing psychology, I was
not a huge fan of Eugene vs Triple H, I do not mind Eugene being distracted for
the finish, his mind wanders I understand that but he does not have to be so
foolish and light-hearted after seeing Regal beaten half to death. Undertaker
vs JBL had a finish that did no favours for anyone and Orton vs Benoit was
match of the night by far and a bright spot on this card. Thanks for reading
and remember: There’s always another night!
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