Thursday 22 June 2017

WCW Road Wild 1999 Review

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Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more over than Tamina. Eric Bischoff had a motorcycle fetish so he decided to have a pay per view at Sturgis, where motorcycle enthusiasts meet up with no knowledge of wrestling to watch wrestling. Yes, this is Road Wild 1999, headline by Hulk Hogan vs Kevin Nash for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship with the loser having to retire. We also have Sting vs Sid Vicious, Rick Steiner vs Goldberg and Randy Savage vs Dennis Rodman. Road Wild shows have typically been like a WWE UK pay per view, not a lot of substance and you are not missing a lot.

Opening Promo

Not much of a package, all you need to know is it is going to be Hogan vs Nash with the championship and their careers on the line.

The Deadpool W/ Raven vs The Filthy Animals

Vampiro had been signed by WCW, some fresh blood in the company for once. Vampiro is joined with The Insane Clown Posse, Shaggy Too Dope and Violent J. They have Raven in their corner, not sure why Raven has been moved away from Saturn but it saddens me. They face Eddie, Kidman and Mysterio, no Konnan despite the package hyping the match as Vampiro vs Konnan. Filthy Animals jump The Deadpool, Vampiro is left with Eddie. Kidman is in with Vampiro, Sky High by Kidman. Tag to Eddie, slingshot hilo by Eddie. Slingshot leg drop by Mysterio, Vampiro is tossed to the floor. Kidman assaults Vampiro, leg lariat by Eddie.

Monkey flip by Eddie but Vampiro lands on his feet, leg lariat by Vampiro. The ICP pummel Eddie on the floor, Vampiro brings Eddie to the corner. ICP continue to put the boots to Eddie, Violent J enters off a tag. Clothesline by Violent J, jawbreaker by Violent J. Tag to Shaggy, suplex by Shaggy. Tag to Vampiro, ICP stomp all over Eddie. Eddie fights back with a great springboard hurricanrana, Violent J stops Eddie with a headbutt. Chokeslam by Vampiro, tag to Shaggy. Double suplex by The ICP, Shaggy goes to the top rope but Eddie crotches Shaggy. Superplex by Eddie, Mysterio receives the tag. Springboard senton on Violent J, Raven drags out Mysterio. Vampiro Spike on the floor by Vampiro.

Mysterio is punished on the floor before Violent J slams Mysterio in the ring for two, hard Irish whip by Violent J. Tag to Vampiro, Vampiro taunts Kidman & Mysterio. Huge powerbomb by Vampiro, knee to the balls by Vampiro. Shaggy is the legal man, running powerslam by Shaggy for two. Mysterio is thrown to the floor, Raven talks trash to Mysterio. Clothesline by Shaggy, Shaggy is knocked down by a boot from Mysterio, split-legged moonsault by Mysterio. Hot-tag to Kidman, Eddie helps with clearing the ring. Vampiro superkicks Shaggy by mistake, Eddie dives onto Vampiro. Kidman nails The Shooting Star Press on Shaggy for the win.

Glad to see Eddie back on my screen, the match was fine. I would have preferred a standard tag with Raven and Vampiro but The ICP were just fine. Interested to see where Vampiro goes in WCW, never ideal to be teaming with non-wrestlers and losing your first pay per view match. That and the fact I have little faith in this company but I can dream ok!

Winners: The Filthy Animals over The Deadpool via Shooting Star Press!

(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) The Jersey Triad © vs Harlem Heat

Bigelow drops his belt from around his waist as he flexes, that sums up this company perfectly. Anyways, Bigelow and Kanyon defend the belts, no DDP in sight. Booker T and Stevie Ray reunited after suffering numerous assaults from The Jersey Triad. Harlem Heat won the belts and would later lose them back to The Jersey Triad because that’s how booking works in WCW. The Triad jumps Harlem Heat, Harlem Heat gain control with a huge Harlem Sidekick. Bigelow & Kanyon are on the floor, Stevie Ray and Kanyon start the match properly. Kanyon pummels Stevie Ray, shoulder thrusts by Kanyon.

Military press slam by Stevie Ray, scoop slam for Bigelow. Kanyon wants Booker, lock-up with Booker throwing bombs at Kanyon. Hammerlock by Booker, elbow by Kanyon. Blatant choke by Kanyon, huge right by Kanyon. Shoulder block by Kanyon, dropkick by Booker. Tag to Stevie Ray, Bigelow tags in for the champions. Lock-up, shoulder block by Stevie Ray but Bigelow stands his ground. Shoulder by Bigelow, same result. Clothesline by Stevie Ray, Bigelow headbutts Stevie Ray to gain control, tag to Kanyon. Multiple elbows by Kanyon, tag to Bigelow. Bigelow corner splashes Stevie Ray, reverse chinlock by Bigelow. Stevie Ray fights out before Bigelow nails a huge knee to the gut. Kanyon is the legal man, Stevie Ray scoop slams Kanyon but misses a crucial elbow.

Kanyon calls for Bigelow to go to the top, Stevie Ray catapults Kanyon into Bigelow. Tag to Booker, flying forearm, spinning heel kick for two. Booker looks for The Scissors Kick but Bigelow lowbridges Booker. Kanyon drops a leg over Booker, two for Kanyon. Kanyon tries again but Booker powerbombs Kanyon. Stevie Ray gets the tag, pump kick to Bigelow. DDP is here, Bigelow is sent into DDP. Missile dropkick by Booker and Stevie Ray covers for the win.

No real problems with this match other than the hotshotting of the championships. If you were putting the titles on Harlem Heat, why have them lose them on Nitro/Thunder weeks before. Anyways, the action in the ring was fine.

Winners: Harlem Heat over The Jersey Triad via Missile Dropkick!

West Texas Rednecks vs The Revolution

Hennig did not like Saturn so we have this match between the two factions, Shane Douglas has jumped ship from ECW to WCW. That’s two pay per view debuts for mid-card talent on this show, both probably wish they debuted at a more high profile show. The Revolution clear the ring to begin the match, Windham and Malenko begin the proper match. Slugfest with Malenko clotheslining Windham, tag to Saturn. Double back elbow, side headlock takedown by Saturn. Douglas is tagged in but gets into big trouble as he ends up in The West Texas Rednecks corner.

Duncum Jr. boots Douglas, Douglas reverses an Irish whip for a powerslam. Saturn is the legal man, kicks in the corner. Saturn lowers his head off an Irish whip, boot by Duncum Jr. Tag to Windham, Saturn suplexes Windham. Kendall attacks Saturn with his cowbell, clothesline by Windham. Tag to Hennig, snapover neckbreaker by Hennig. Tag to Duncum Jr., Kendall whips Saturn with the bullrope. Saturn German suplexes Duncum Jr., tag to Malenko. Dropkick and suplex by Malenko for two, tag to Douglas. Hennig saves Duncum Jr. from the Pittsburgh Plunge, Hennig and Kendall bets the piss out of Douglas on the floor. Douglas is yanked off the top rope by Hennig, Windham is in the ring. Back suplex for two, ten punches by Windham. Clothesline by Windham for two, tag to Duncum Jr.

Shoulderbreaker for two, Kendall attacks Douglas on the floor. Hennig pummels Douglas, eye poke and a tag to Duncum Jr. Suplex for two, reverse chinlock by Duncum Jr. Windham is in the ring, both bang heads. Tag to Duncum Jr., corner clothesline by Duncum Jr. Douglas dodges the second clothesline, tag to Saturn. Match breaks down, Malenko has Hennig in The Texas Cloverleaf, Kendall waffles Malenko. Saturn re-enters the ring and Death Valley Drivers Duncum Jr. for the win.

That was just there, I was not big into either group at this point. Hennig felt like damaged goods since the day he signed with WCW, Saturn and Malenko had been spinning their wheels for years in WCW, they needed something bigger or better but they will not be around in this company for much longer. Yeah, it was just a match, no real impact on me.

Winners: The Revolution over West Texas Rednecks via Death Valley Driver!

Ernest Miller W/ Sonny Onoo vs Buff Bagwell

Miller armdrags Bagwell after a lot of stalling, Miller poses as Bagwell looks on bewildered. Scoop slam by Miller, hiptoss by Bagwell. Scoop slams by Bagwell and a big clothesline, Miller asks for a handshake. Miller clubs Bagwell choke by Miller. Bagwell dodges a slam, dropkicks by Bagwell. Ten punches by Bagwell, low blow by Miller in front of the referee. Standing side kick by Miller, Onoo chokes Bagwell using the ropes. Another kick by Miller, eye rake by Miller. Another choke by Onoo, reverse chinlock by Miller. Miller’s suplex is blocked, suplex by Bagwell. Atomic drop and inverted atomic drop by Bagwell, crossbody for two. Jawbreaker by Miller, Onoo has a briefcase. Miller is whipped into Onoo, O Connor roll by Bagwell for the win.

That was more pandering and time-wasting than actual action, I did enjoy it though despite the lack of actual wrestling. What’s great too is Bagwell’s music playing while Miller and Onoo lay out Bagwell after the match. A giant waste of a match, this pay per view sucks ass.

Winner: Buff Bagwell over Ernest Miller via O Connor Roll!

(WCW United States Championship Match) Chris Benoit © vs DDP (No DQ Match)

It’s a nice touch that every match has a promo package, the trouble is when so much is going on in the packages that I cannot understand what is happening. It seems DDP won the championship from Benoit before Benoit won it back from David Flair? DDP talked shite about Benoit’s mother, Benoit kicks DDP in the dick to begin the match. Knees and stomps by Benoit, DDP tries for a powerbomb before Benoit hammers DDP. Baseball slide by Benoit, chop by Benoit. DDP lures Benoit in for an inverted atomic drop, Benoit is bounced off all the guard rails. Benoit hammers DDP in the ring, hard Irish whip by DDP. Belly to belly suplex for two, camel clutch by DDP. Huge slam from DDP, DDP poses for the fans.

Two for DDP, gutwrench backbreaker by DDP. Foot choke by DDP, Benoit counters a knee for a roll-up, twos for both men before DDP clotheslines Benoit. Stomps by DDP, Benoit fires back at the challenger. Spinebuster by DDP for two, DDP is frustrated with the referee. Right hands by DDP, sidewalk slam by DDP for two. Benoit escapes a sidewalk slam, jawbreaker by Benoit. Benoit climbs to the top, DDP places Benoit in the tree of woe. Elbows and stomps by Benoit, DDP slaps the referee and takes his belt. DDP intimidates the referee before choking Benoit. Two for DDP after the choke, snapmare using the belt by DDP.

DDP chokes Benoit before Benoit escapes and whips DDP. German suplex by Benoit for two, three German suplexes. Kanyon pushes Benoit into DDP, uranage slam by DDP for two. DDP is sent into Kanyon, roll-up by Benoit for two. Clothesline by DDP for two, Bigelow is here. Splash by Bigelow, DDP covers for two. Benoit knocks down Bigelow and DDP, Diving Headbutt on DDP for the win.

That was poor for a Benoit match, largely boring controlled match from DDP. Disappointing as I enjoyed the series between the Triad and Benoit especially the tag team matches. Not much of a no dq match, you had a referee’s belt as the weapon they used and a little interference. Tame for the stipulation, tame match for the pay per view, it was just there like everything else.

Winner: Chris Benoit over DDP via Diving Headbutt!

Sid Vicious vs Sting

The Millennium Man Sid Vicious is taking The Icon Sting. Before the match, somebody wins a custom Iron Horse motorcycle. Bischoff must have loved this, the winner of the motorcycle is Darnell Potter. Sid locks-up and pummels Sting, Sting avoids a corner clothesline and Stinger Splashes Sid twice. Clothesline to the floor, Sid is sent into the crowd. Sting splashes Sid against the guard rail, Sid avoids a Stinger Splash. Boot by Sid, clubbing blow by Sid. Powerslam for two, face rake by Sid and a huge knee to the back of the head. Backbreaker by Sid, two for Sid. Reverse chinlock from Sid, hard Irish whip and clothesline by Sid. Sid drops Sting across the guard rail, Sid tosses Sting back into the ring.

Two for Sid, reverse chinlock by Sid. Sting breaks free from Sid’s submission. Sid is on the top rope, Sting yanks Sid off the top rope. Sting was going to the ropes but Sid comically trips Sting. Right hand by Sting, scoop slam but Sid blocks the splash. Two for Sid, snake eyes by Sid. Sting fires up before a big boot from Sid, Sid climbs to the top rope. Sting superplexes Sid, Stinger Splash. Make it two, third splash is blocked for a Chokeslam and Sid wins the match.

That was so basic, Sid looked half-assed throughout the match. Sid picks up a huge win over Sting and they made it look like it did not matter. It was an easy night for both men, Sid and Sting just did nothing and still managed to entertain the crowd.

Winner: Sid Vicious over Sting via Chokeslam!

Rick Steiner vs Goldberg

Where is Scott Steiner? Fist fight between the two, clothesline by Goldberg. Shoulder block by Goldberg, sidekick by Goldberg. Low blow by Steiner, Steiner rips at the leg of Goldberg. The kneebrace is off, kneebrace to the face by Steiner. Huge clothesline by Steiner, Steiner wears the brace like armour. Belly to belly by Steiner for two, DDT by Steiner for two. Military press slam by Goldberg, Spear and a Jackhammer. Game over. I did not even get a good paragraph out of this match, this pay per view has tested my patience.

Winner: Goldberg over Rick Steiner via Jackhammer!

Dennis Rodman vs Randy Savage W/ Team Madness

I do not even know, they just are feuding. What intrigues me most is Savage says that Gorgeous George will have protection in the form of whoever rammed Kevin Nash with the hummer. Rodman attacks Savage on the floor after a tonne of swearing, Savage is selling for Rodman. Hard Irish whip by Rodman, huge back elbow by Rodman. Russian legsweep by Rodman, Rodman elbows the referee. Eye rake by Savage, choke by Savage. Savage decks a cameraman, camera to the back of the head of Rodman for two. Another referee is taken down by Savage, another referee is down. What the fuck is this match? Rodman backdrops Savage to the floor, they spill to the floor.

They make their way up the ramp, they fall over trash and guard rails. Savage pulls a guy out of the toilet, the fans chant bullshit. Rodman is in the toilet when Savage tips it over, piss and shit everywhere. Lovely match, another referee is knocked out that’s four for this match. Here comes Gorgeous George, George hands Savage a chain. George low blows Rodman, chain to the face and Savage wins the match.

Randy Savage needed interference and a chain to beat Dennis Rodman….. Fuck this stupid company, this is too much if you want me to believe these to had a competitive match.

Winner: Randy Savage over Dennis Rodman via Chain to the Face!

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs Kevin Nash (Career vs Career Match)

Of course, they put the belt back on Hogan, we finally have a match between Nash and Hogan, months after the company was hot and after when they could have made money off of it. Hogan is in the red and yellow brother, Hogan has turned a leaf. Lock-up, Nash shoves back Hogan multiple times. Hogan shoves back Nash, telling him to kiss his ass. Side headlock by Nash, back drop by Hogan to escape. Nash powders to rethink his strategy, test of strength with Nash dominating Hogan. Hogan powers up for Nash to cut that off with a knee, Nash elbows and smashes Hogan in the back.

Foot choke by Nash, more elbows. Hogan avoids an elbow for tonnes of punches, Nash is down. Ten punches in the corner, eye poke by Nash. Sidewalk slam by Nash for two, Nash calls for The Powerbomb after punishing Hogan. Boot by Nash, Jacknife Powerbomb. Hogan kicks out at two and begins to Hulk Up, Nash pummels but it is no use as Hogan Hulks up and shows Nash that it is time to go to school, right hands, a big boot and a Leg Drop its over. Nash’s career is over, Hogan is still champion.

Cheeseball Babyface Hogan is so much better than dominating heel Hogan but yeah, this match was as corny and as basic as every other match on this card. Fitting for the night but insulting as a pay per view main event, Schiavone is spouting so much trash that I cannot help but cringe, thank god it is over.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over Kevin Nash via Leg Drop!

That was WCW’s Road Wild of 1999, a gigantic waste of time. Seriously, do not check this out, it is not worth it. Not one good match, a two out of ten effort from 95% of the wrestlers on the card and it borders on insulting. I would compare it to a UK pay per view from WWE like Rebellion or Insurrextion but that’s an insult to those shows, this took me a week to slog through and I feel I could have done so many other better things. Bottom line: do not see this show, thanks for reading and remember: Theres always another night!

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