Saturday 3 June 2017

WCW Slamboree 1999 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet which can save Bliss’ “This is Your Life” Segment. And it is WCW 1999 time, I do make fun of this company a lot, they had peaked and were on a steady decline. The last pay per view was quite enjoyable despite DDP winning the championship with little to no momentum, Slamboree is tonight, I have not checked the card beforehand for shits and giggles, let’s see what WCW throws my way this time.

Opening Promo

Who is the franchise of WCW? Sting or Goldberg, they are doing this match on Slamboree and not Starrcade? Ok, we also have Gorgeous George vs Charles Robinson, Buff Bagwell vs Scott Steiner, Brian Knobbs vs Bam Bam Bigelow and DDP vs Kevin Nash for the World Championship. Oh, Ric Flair will face Roddy Piper for control of WCW, seems like the card has potential.

(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) The Four Horseman W/ Arn Anderson vs Raven & Saturn vs Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio ©

Benoit & Malenko had a great match against Raven & Saturn at Spring Stampede, happy to see them going at it again with the championships on the line. Apparently, there is tension between the champions, they do not have one another’s back. Three men in the ring at one time, this match has already lost points for me, this is going to be a clusterfuck. Saturn & Kidman double team Benoit and Malenko, Kidman dropkicks Malenko to the floor. Saturn clotheslines Kidman, Saturn belly to belly suplexes Kidman to the floor. Malenko ambushes Saturn, leaping calf kick by Malenko but Kidman makes the save.

Benoit and Malenko combine for a German suplex to Kidman, Mysterio is in now with Benoit and Raven. Hurricanrana by Mysterio on Benoit, Raven clubs Benoit and Mysterio. Sling shot leg drop by Mysterio on Benoit, Benoit kicks Raven in the face. Benoit and Kidman suplex Raven onto the top rope, Benoit chops down Kidman. Kidman Sky Highs Benoit, Kidman climbs to the top rope and misses a splash. Kidman tries a suplex but Benoit applies a Crippler Crossface. Raven breaks it up, Raven & Saturn combine for a suplex and frog splash. Malenko saves his partner Benoit, Mysterio moonsaults onto Malenko. Benoit drags Malenko out of harm’s way, Raven and Mysterio are in the ring. Raven clears the ring, Saturn planchas onto the champions.

Benoit nails Raven with The Diving Headbutt, Saturn crawls in for the save. Benoit and Malenko stomp Saturn, double back elbow to Raven. The champions are smacked down by The Horseman, Saturn is pinballed by the two. Malenko keeps out everyone from saving Saturn, double suplex by Benoit & Malenko. Double flapjack to Mysterio, Benoit chops Kidman hard. Kidman clotheslines Benoit out of the corner, Saturn ducks the clothesline for a superkick. Kidman is placed on the top rope, Saturn clotheslines Kidman to the floor. Benoit clotheslines Saturn to the floor, Benoit has Saturn in the ring. Northern lights suplex for two, Saturn rolls-up Benoit for two. Benoit clotheslines Saturn for two, German suplexes by Benoit.

Kidman saves Saturn, Saturn rolls-up Malenko who tried for a Cloverleaf. Malenko flapjacks Kidman, Saturn decks Benoit but falls to the floor after a clubbing blow by Malenko. Malenko powerbombs Kidman and isolates Saturn so that Benoit can get in the ring. Snap suplex by Benoit, Kidman makes the save. Dragon suplex by Benoit on Kidman, Mysterio saves his partner. Malenko enters, Kidman dropkicks Malenko. Tag to Benoit, Saturn Russian legsweeps Benoit. Raven gets the tag, right hands for everyone.

Clothesline on Benoit, snap suplexes by Raven. Saturn tags in, Kidman & Saturn double clothesline Benoit. Mysterio is in, hurricanrana by Mysterio. Benoit clubs down Mysterio and Saturn, Saturn suplexes Benoit. Kidman is on the top rope, diving clothesline on Benoit. Diving hurricanrana by Mysterio on Saturn, Kidman rolls-through a powerbomb for a two count. Mysterio bronco busters Raven, Kidman and Mysterio combine for the elevated hurricanrana on Benoit, Saturn makes the save. Saturn reverses the elevated hurricanrana for a powerbomb, Kidman facebusters Saturn. Raven saves his partner, Kidman bulldogs Raven. Malenko knocks down Kidman, here comes Saturn.

 Arn Anderson Spinebusters Saturn, referee is distracted. Kidman sets-up for a Shooting Star Press, a mysterious man crotches Kidman, Raven nails Kidman with an Even Flow DDT while Malenko has Saturn in The Texas Cloverleaf, the referee counts Raven’s pin and we have new tag team champions, the man in the mask is revealed to be Kanyon.

Well, it was a clusterfuck, a fun one at times but a mess at others. It was bizarre how at sometimes the rules were enforced and there were tags while other times, everyone was killing one another and entering the ring as they wished. The rulebook was thrown out the window for this match, some fun spots mostly from Kidman and Mysterio, there was also a weird moment where they were building to a Mysterio and Raven hot-tag simultaneously but when the tags came, Benoit or Malenko clobbered whoever entered the ring. So, it was really weird but watchable if that makes any sense at all, constant action and things going on that kept me entertained.

Winners: Raven & Saturn over Everyone Else via Even Flow DDT!

Konnan vs Stevie Ray W/ Vincent & Horace Hogan

Konnan does his shtick, he is fighting the joke faction known as The NWO Black and White, Stevie Ray knees Konnan in the corner. Stevie Ray stomps Konnan anymore, they are talking more about some NWO dissension angle (Yeah, new stuff right?) rather than the match. Bulldog by Konnan, Vincent distracts Konnan. Superkick by Stevie Ray, Vincent and Horace put the boots to Konnan on the floor. Snapmare into a fist drop by Stevie Ray, reverse chinlock by Stevie Ray. Konnan battles back before eating an elbow, Stevie Ray poses before the mild crowd. Suplex for two, scoop slam with Stevie Ray going to the top rope.

Konnan blocks Stevie Ray with a boot, rolling clothesline by Konnan. Botched leap frog, K-Factor and Vincent is nailed by Konnan. Horace trips Konnan, leg drop by Stevie Ray, Mysterio is here. Mysterio takes out the goons, Stevie Ray eats a senton from Mysterio and Konnan rolls-up Stevie Ray for the win

So god damn boring, Konnan is over despite his ringwork and how are The NWO Black & White still a thing? They were beyond meaningless, another match that ended with interference, poor Konnan could not beat Stevie Ray by himself. This was slow and dull, the typical Konnan WCW performance for me.

Winner: Konnan over Stevie Ray via Roll-Up!

(Hardcore Match) Brian Knobbs vs Bam Bam Bigelow

We have a hardcore division with Bigelow as the centrepiece, Bigelow brings a cart full of weapons as it looks like I will be treated to the same match I have seen for months now. Knobbs attacks Bigelow with the trash can, cooking tray to the head. Knobbs roughs up Bigelow with the trash can, Bigelow kicks the can into Knobbs’ head. Bigelow and Knobbs botch a Greetings From Asbury Park reversal, Bigelow covers for two. Cooking tray to the head, Diving Headbutt by Bigelow for two. Knobbs chair shots Bigelow, elbow drop using the trash can. Bigelow lowbridges Knobbs, Knobbs regains control with more weapon shots.

Bigelow smacks Knobbs with a pizza tray, Knobbs is smacked in the head with two trash can lids. Cooking tray to the head, Knobbs smacks back Bigelow. Trash can to the back by Knobbs, Bigelow is tossed into the cart. Knobbs runs full-force into the cart as Bigelow dodges. Knobbs regains control with more trash can shots, the crowd wants tables. Bigelow smacks Knobbs with a chair shot, Knobbs is back in control for a second before Bigelow drags Knobbs to the top of the entrance way. They are at a souvenir stand, more trash can shots. Knobbs has a ladder, wham across the back of Bigelow. Bigelow is on a table, Knobbs climbs to the stands and elbow drops off the stand. Bigelow rolls off the table but Knobbs being a tool misses the table. Bigelow recovers to suplex Knobbs through the table.

Not sure how you can make a hardcore match boring but these two managed to do it in this match. Boring stuff, lots of weapon shots with no rhyme or reason. Of course, they botched the finish with Knobbs overshooting the table, what an idiot. At least, Bigelow is making good money for doing somehow worse matches than he was in ECW.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow over Brian Knobbs via Suplex!

(WCW Television Championship Match) Booker T © vs Rick Steiner

Returning from injury, Rick Steiner emerges to challenge Booker T for his championship, the storyline going into this match is Booker T might not be as nice as we think as Stevie Ray has been helping Booker win matches without Booker’s knowledge. Booker asks the referee to check Steiner, lock-up with Booker gaining control in the corner. Shoving contest, Steiner armdrags and clotheslines Booker. Booker powders, side headlock by Steiner. Shoulder block and elbow by Steiner for two, huge thrustkick by Booker. Spinning heel kick by Booker, Steiner is on the floor. Another lock-up, hammerlock by Booker, Steiner cuts off Booker with an elbow. Steiner misses a corner splash, scoop slam and back elbow by Booker for two/

Reverse chinlock by Booker, Steiner escapes and stunguns Booker before clotheslining Booker to the floor. Booker tastes the guard rail, belly to belly throw by Steiner for two. Reverse chinlock by Steiner, Steiner clubs Booker in the head before reapplying the hold. Booker makes it to the ropes, more right hands by Steiner. Foot choke by Steiner, Steiner is cut off with an elbow. Steiner chokes Booker, Booker suplexes Steiner out of nowhere. Reverse chinlock by Steiner, Booker fires back with a forearm.

Scissors Kick, Spinaroonie and spinebuster by Booker. Missile dropkick by Booker, Scott Steiner is here at ringside. Booker is distracted, Rick Steiner clothesline for two. Booker sends Rick into Scott, Harlem Sidekick for two. Booker is whipped off the ropes, Scott grabs the foot and Rick Bulldogs Booker for the win.

That was flat, Rick had a lot of ring-rust, he looked blown up after a few minutes and was sloppy in parts. Booker and Rick did not have the match they needed to, it was just all very boring. Another run-in with this time being the twist of Rick & Scott Steiner working together, Rick Steiner is champion by the way, this whole thing is glossed over in the grand scheme of things.

Winner: Rick Steiner over Booker T via Steiner Bulldog!

Charles Robinson W/ Ric Flair & Asya vs Gorgeous George W/ Randy Savage & Miss Mona

The contract of Randy Savage is in the hands of a referee and a valet, what a time to be alive it was in WCW in 1999. Madusa looks like a pure slut while Molly Holly AKA Mona looks great. Robinson is dressed like Flair, the impression is great while George comes out as a cheerleader.

A lot of stalling, arm twist by George. Robinson reverses, George reverses for a hammerlock. Hammerlock by Robinson, George reverses for a full-nelson and snapmare. Robinson and Flair bang heads, Flair and Savage face off in the ring. Robinson has a chair, Mona takes the chair so Mona is slammed for her troubles. George enters the ring and Robinson chokes George. George chops Robinson in the corner, Robinson does the Flair flip and the turnbuckle yank spot beautifully. Clothesline by George, Flair Flop from Robinson. Hair-pull by George, George misses a knee in the corner. Asya messes up George’s leg before Madusa wallops her.

Robinson attacks the knee of George, George screams out in pain. George kicks off Robinson, shin breaker by Robinson. Figure Four by Robinson, George reverses the hold. Flair saves Robinson, Savage low blows Robinson and nails a scoop slam. Elbow Drop by George for the win. It was fun in parts, that’s the kindest thing I can say about this match.

Winner: Gorgeous George over Charles Robinson via Elbow Drop!

(WCW United States Championship Match) Scott Steiner © vs Buff Bagwell

Steiner had turned on Bagwell due to Bagwell costing Steiner his Television Championship. Steiner and Bagwell would engage in a war of words for weeks before this match. Bagwell, the former lackey has a chance at stardom. Bagwell attacks Steiner right away, right hands everywhere. Swinging neckbreaker by Bagwell, Steiner low blows Bagwell twice (No DQ?). Clothesline and elbow by Steiner, Bagwell is smashed hard into the turnbuckle sternum first, Steiner poses, Bagwell is on the floor. Steiner stiffs the shit out of Bagwell, right hands and stomps. Bagwell hotshots Steiner on the apron, Steiner shakes it off instantly and goes back to clubbing Bagwell. Huge elbows by Steiner and a choke using the ropes.

Double underhook slam by Steiner for two, belly to belly suplex by Steiner. Steiner grabs a chair from ringside, Bagwell ducks and clotheslines Steiner. Right hands by Bagwell, dropkick by Bagwell and make it two. Inverted atomic drop, Steiner pulls the referee into a clothesline. Rick Steiner is here, Rick wallops Bagwell with a chair. Steiner Recliner and Bagwell is out, The Steiner Brothers are back together.

More disappointing than anything else, Bagwell seemed to have a bit of steam and was not bad when on offense. Also, Big Poppa Pump did not need his brother by this point, Scott was doing fine so why did we need The Steiners back together?

Winner: Scott Steiner over Buff Bagwell via Steiner Recliner!

Roddy Piper vs Ric Flair (For Control of WCW)

From fighting the villainous NWO to becoming the big villain in WCW, Ric Flair had a really weird time in the later years of WCW. Flair went crazy with power, became world champion, dropped the title to DDP and continued to be a pain in everyone’s ass. Piper had enough so we have a match between the two, we had the match two years earlier when they could no co-exist against The NWO. I expect this to be fun rather than a wrestling classic.

 Charles Robinson is referee for the match as Flair stacks the deck against Piper. Piper slaps Flair, back body drop and chops by Piper. Flair powders, Anderson talks strategy with Flair. Piper spits at Flair, lock-up and Flair chops Piper. Piper chops back, left jabs, hundreds of punches by Piper and Flair flops to the ground. Piper and Flair chop one another on the entrance way, Flair begs for mercy. Eye poke by Piper, Piper bites the head of Flair. Right hands by Piper, double ear clap and another Flair flop. Low blow by Flair, Robinson pretends to miss it. Flair tosses Piper to the floor, Anderson pummels Piper. Asya enters the ring and low blows Piper as Anderson distracts the referee.

Flair chops Piper, Piper fires up with chops before Flair eye pokes Piper. Piper reverses an Irish whip into the corner back body drop by Piper for two. Piper chops and punches Flair, Flair flip to the floor. Side headlock in the ring by Piper, Flair shoves off Piper and both man bang heads. Flair works the leg, Figure Four by Flair. Piper reverses the hold and Piper is thrown to the floor, Anderson is decked by Piper. Piper tries a sunset flip, Flair ass crack for all. Piper has a backslide, referee is distracted. Small package by Piper, referee looks the other way. Flair is yanked off the top rope, figure four by Piper. Anderson enters the ring, Sleeper by Piper.

Flair is up, Flair clobbers Piper. Sleeper on Flair, Asya is in the ring. Piper kisses Asya before applying The Sleeper. Piper decks the referee as Flair smacks Piper with brass knuckles, Robinson reawakens and counts the pin, Flair wins this match. Bischoff is here, Bischoff is not going to allow Flair to screw Piper, Bischoff is babyface.

Well, it was fun and ridiculous. Piper might be the most over guy in the company based on the reactions to this match. Two veterans doing very little but making it work to its fullest effect. I was entertained by this match, I could not stop laughing.

Winner: Roddy Piper over Ric Flair thanks to Eric Bischoff!

Goldberg vs Sting

Who is the biggest star in WCW? A simple story that seems to have come out of nowhere, Sting came back after being absence since Halloween Havoc. Sting was pushed back to the top of the card near the championship while Goldberg had feuds with NWO members and Bam Bam Bigelow. I assume they are building to Goldberg regaining the championship he never truly or fairly lost.

Lock-up, Goldberg Irish whips Sting, they botch a slam right away. Powerslam by Goldberg, Sting is clotheslined to the floor. Lock-up, Sting dodges a boot and dropkicks Goldberg. Goldberg regroups, lock-up, firemen’s carry slam into a cross armbreaker by Goldberg. Sting reaches the ropes, test of strength with a knee and facebuster by Sting. Dropkick to the knee by Sting, Sting works the braced leg of Goldberg. Boston Crab by Sting, Goldberg pushes off Sting. Side headlock takedown by Sting, snap suplex by Sting. Goldberg no-sells for a double underhook slam.

Irish whip into the corner, Sting dodges the Spear. Flying clothesline by Sting, Stinger Splash, make it two. The third attempt and Goldberg Spears the bejesus out of Sting. Bret Hart is here with a chair, referee is thrown down. Chair to the head of Goldberg, chair to the damaged leg of Goldberg. Bret Hart leaves while Sting looks on holding his ribs. Here comes The Steiners and they beat down Sting and Goldberg.

You know, the action may have not been amazing but the fans saw this as the big match that WCW wanted them to see. You had the Hogan vs Warrior vibe and Rock vs Austin vibe, the crowd liked both men and it could have been something great had they had more time. Another interference leading to the finish, that’s a lot of times that has happened on this show. The DQ finish robs the fans of a decisive answer to who is the franchise, good idea to keep both wrestlers strong but if I paid for a pay per view match between Goldberg and Sting, I would want a decisive winner.

Winner: Goldberg over Sting via DQ!

(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) DDP © VS Kevin Nash

We have been treated to promo packages all night long, hyping up this match. DDP won the championship, dropped it on Nitro only to regain it later in the night on Nitro so yeah, DDP is being booked fantastically. DDP would injure Hogan with his ringpost figure four, Nash is vowing revenge for Hogan. I have no idea who the heel and who the babyface is in this match, you could make the argument for both men to be on either side. Side headlock by DDP, Diamond Cutter attempt, it’s stopped and Nash elbows DDP to the floor. Right hands by DDP, Nash knees DDP in the ribs. DDP powders but gets bumped off the apron into the guard rail.

Nash drops DDP on the guard rail, knees and elbows in the corner by Nash. Snake eyes is avoided by DDP, DDP pummels Nash in the corner. Choke by DDP, DDP low blows Nash with the referee missing the illegal manoeuvre. DDP pulls out wire cutters to expose the turnbuckle, microphone to the head by DDP for two. Nash pulls DDP into the exposed turnbuckle, DDP kicks out at two. Slugfest, DDP clotheslines Nash to the floor. Diamond Cutter on the floor, DDP tries to pin Nash on the floor? I guess DDP cannot remember the rules. DDP using the ropes for leverage, Nash kicks out at two. Elbow to the balls by DDP, make it two. DDP smacks Nash’s legs off the ringpost, setting up for the figure four. Nash pulls DDP face first into the ringpost, DDP regains control in the ring.

DDP continues to smack Nash, Nash fires up while the crowd look at somebody being ejected. Corner clothesline by Nash, snake eyes on the exposed turnbuckle. Jacknife Powerbomb, Savage is here. Another interference in a match, Savage was babyface half an hour ago and now he is heel? Bischoff says the match will continue, Savage whacks Nash with the championship before leaving. Russian legsweep by DDP for two, clothesline by DDP for two. Sleeper by Nash, jawbreaker by DDP for two. DDP grabs a chair from ringside, Nash dodges and DDP hits the top rope and the chair rebounds into his face.

Nash has the chair, DDP low blows Nash for another two-count. Nash boots the chair into DDP’s face, Nash pulls down the straps. Jacknife Powerbomb by Nash, Nash covers and DDP’s second reign is over, we have a new champion in Kevin Nash.

I am almost at a loss for words, they put the championship on DDP twice only for him to lose it in quick succession. Savage is a babyface against Flair but against Nash is a heel, it is another match that ended in interference, that makes 6 matches that had interference on this card, that’s Russo levels of insanity and he is not even in the company at this point! Nash is the champion, the championship is being thrown around like a joint at a party, babyfaces and heels are not clearly defined and this company is getting more stale and ridiculous by the day.

Winner: Kevin Nash over DDP via Jacknife Powerbomb!

That was WCW’s Slamboree of 1999, one of the most frustrating and confusing pay per views I have ever covered. My brain feels like it has turned to mush watching this show. You start out with a strong three-way tag team match that had silly point but was ultimately, a fun match and then you nose-dive and never recover. Botches, non-finishes, interference in all but two freaking matches on your card. Entertainment coming from comedy matches is your saviour on this pay per view because it is garbage. That might be the worst of them all, this is up there with Souled Out 1997, this show was horrible!

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