Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that regularly winds up its audience more than a Meltzer Tweet! It’s time for WCW’s Great American Bash 1991 and boy oh boy do we have some stories here. To recap, Jim Herd had told Ric Flair to shave his head, wear a gladiator outfit become Spartacus and Flair told Herd to go fuck himself which leaves us with no world champion in WCW. So the main event is Lex Luger vs Barry Windham for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship! The Horsemen are no more but we have a new faction forming in The Dangerous Alliance led by Paul E. Dangerously, more on that later but this card looks bizarre and has some squash matches shoved in for good measure but Flair being gone is the main thing going into this show. This show is called an all-time disaster so let’s see if that’s true!
(Scaffold Skywalkers II Match) PN News and Beautiful Bobby Eaton vs Stunning Steve Austin & Terrence Taylor
Why is Eaton not in a more prominent match? Why is Taylor with Austin? A scaffold match where you win by stealing someone’s flag? Austin has the television championship so I imagine Austin has taken it from Eaton but what is this match? So they cannot do a whole lot in the match, they have to wrestle one on one. They cuddle for most of the match before Eaton takes the flag to win, Austin blinds Eaton with hairspray but the match is over so they just brawl for a bit and then it’s over. The fuck was that? Seven minutes of nothing.
Winners: Beautiful Bobby Eaton & PN News over Stunning Steve Austin & Terrence Taylor via Flag Retrieval!
The Diamond Studd vs The Z-Man
This starts with a leaping clothesline and chops by Z-Man, Studd is rocked in the corner. Corner clothesline by Zenk, side headlock but DDP low-bridges Zenk. Zenk chases down DDP but Studd clubs that fool, Studd sends Zenk into the guardrail. In the ring, Studd clubs Zenk but Zenk fires up, low kick to the ribs from Studd. Zenk meets the buckle, twice for Zenk. Zenk blocks the third attempt but Studd clubs down Zenk again. Middle rope choke from Zenk, Zenk ducks clotheslines and elbows and lands a crossbody for two. Zenk eats two knees to the ribs, make it three. Chest chops, Zenk fires back with chops of his own.
Whip to the opposite buckle reversed by Studd, shoulder thrusts in the corner. Abdominal stretch from Studd, Studd continues to use the ropes for leverage before being caught. Hip-toss by Zenk but Studd avoids the elbow drop, Zenk comes back again with right hands. Chokeslam from Studd, Studd calls for his finish. Studd almost gets rolled up but kicks out at two, Studd waits and lands a vicious clothesline. Irish whip by Studd who lowers his head, Zenk lands a sunset flip but Studd counters with a fist to the head. Zenk manages to land a superkick, Studd is sent into the guardrail and ring apron. Missile dropkick for two , DDP attacks Zenk so Zenk sends DDP into the ring and lands a thrust-kick. Studd lands a belly to back suplex for the win.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, Zenk is bland as bland can be as a babyface while Studd is not the full package here at all, character is not fleshed out nor the mannerisms, what you receive is a match that only goes 7 minutes but feels like 20 minutes. Really bad stuff.
Winner: The Diamond Studd over The Z-Man via Belly to Back Suplex!
Oz W/ The Wizard vs Ron Simmons
First real test for Oz, Simmons can be explosive fun and has quickly moved on from what happened with Butch Reed, clean breaks all around after lock-ups. Side headlock from Oz, Simmons struggles to break free under this hold. Simmons does turn the hold and trips down Oz, Oz pops back to his feet. Shoulder blocks with neither man moving before Oz lands a boot to the face and a shoulder block, make it two. Drop toehold from Simmons, Oz clubs down Simmons. Ugly looking clotheslines by Simmons before Oz is clotheslined to the floor on the third attempt, test of strength with Oz kicking Simmons to maintain control. Simmons wins the test but Oz clubs down Simmons again, axe handle blows from Oz.
Oz tosses Simmons to the floor, the Wizard gets involved and lands a massive kick to the ribs of Simmons. Simmons lands a shoulder thrust on the apron and dives over for the sunset flip, Oz counters with a right hand. Simmons ducks a clothesline and lands a dropkick, chop-blocks and a shot to The Wizard. Flying shoulder block and its over.
Wow that was bad, really bad and if this is a sign of things to come, I understand why this PPV has such a terrible reputation, this was brutal just like the matches before.
Winner: Ron Simmons over Oz via Flying Shoulder Tackle!
Richard Morton W/ Alexandra York vs Robert Gibson
The Rock “N” Roll Express implodes! Morton had turned on Dustin Rhodes to join The York Foundation, this would lead to Gibson questioning the actions of Morton which led to this match. Richard Morton has done nothing to change his look so you could hardly tell that this was meant to be a new Ricky Morton. Thankfully they both know how to work, it starts on the floor with fists flying. Morton is on the floor, looking for strategy as Gibson is furious. The two get down to business with Gibson slamming Morton down with Morton powdering to the floor. Morton is begging for mercy, more strategy talk between Morton and Alexandra York.
Clean break from Gibson, Morton powders once again. Gibson is too eager and Morton takes control by working the leg that was injured, wrapping it around the ring-post. Morton goes after the knee with Gibson fighting on one leg, a knee-lift finds the mark before Morton trips up Gibson and drops his knee on the leg time and time again. Morton rips at the tights of Gibson to expose the injured leg of Gibson, vicious stuff here with stomps to the knee. Gibson tries a sunset flip and succeeds but the leg is still in tremendous pain, Morton applies a figure four on the damaged leg. We sit in the hold for a while before Gibson turns over the hold, Gibson tries to crawl away but Morton is in control. Slamming the knee into the mat again and again, the knee is smacked off the ring apron.
Gibson fights back with right hands, Gibson uses the ropes to hold himself up. Morton kicks the knee and Gibson collapses to the mat again, Gibson lands a DDT out of nowhere. Back body-drop, Gibson misses a dropkick and Morton works the leg again. Morton climbs high, Gibson yanks Morton to the canvas and lands an enzuigiri. Morton is on the ramp, they brawl on the ramp before both attempting dropkicks and crashing to the floor. York leaves her computer behind and distracts the referee. Morton smashes Gibson on the head with the computer for the win.
That leg work really went somewhere right? Way too long, I like the story of going after the knee, it is simple and straight-forward but Morton working the knee is shockingly boring. Considering his selling ability, you would think that it would have been a night-off for these two but this went on and on, far too long. Good for Morton that he picks up the win but I really do not want to see either of those two in WCW anymore, put them in SMW already!
Winner: Ricky Morton over Robert Gibson via Computer To The Head!
(Six-Man Elimination Match) The Fabulous Freebirds & Badstreet W/ Big Daddy Dink vs The Young Pistols & Dustin Rhodes
Pistols and Freebirds have been feuding the majority of the year at this point while Rhodes had been feuding with The York Foundation before finding himself a part of this feud. Hayes chops and right hands Rhodes, whip to the opposite buckle. Whip reversal by Rhodes who lands scoop slams and Bionic elbows all around, Hayes stalls before pushing Rhodes to the ropes. Garvin lands his knee and the heels are clearing house before Rhodes lands a double face-buster, diving shoulder blocks by The Young Pistols and The Freebirds powder.
Smothers and Garvin next, Garvin looks to have slimmed down a little too which is good for him. Lots of stalling before Garvin lands knees and right hands, whip to the buckle and back body drop by Smothers. One dropkick by Smothers, Garvin avoids the second dropkick. Blind tag to Armstrong who waits and waits before landing a diving clothesline on Badstreet, more stalling. Armstrong and Hayes, wristlock into a tag by Armstrong as Smothers locks in a side headlock. Badstreet low-bridges Smothers and Big Daddy Dink lands a clothesline while Badstreet lands a scoop slam. Smothers and Hayes are back in the ring, left-hand from Hayes who knocks Smothers to the floor. Garvin stomps and stomps Smothers who is trying to make it back into the ring.
Scoop slam and knee-drop by Garvin, Irish whip into a knee to the ribs. Badstreet and Hayes put the boots to Smothers, elbow to the back of the head. Sleeper from Hayes, Smothers fights out of the sleeper but is drilled with a left-hand. Smothers meets the buckle, snap-mare for two before Garvin locks in a reverse chin-lock. Garvin attacks Rhodes and Armstrong so Badstreet can come in and attack Smothers, swinging neck-breaker by Badstreet for two. Smothers counters with a sunset flip for two, tag to Hayes who chops Smothers. Smothers fights back but again with the left hand to the head, Hayes struts all around the ring. Smothers back-drops his way out of the DDT, tag to Armstrong.
Back body drop by Armstrong, dropkicks for the other members of The Freebirds. Noggin-knocker and pier-six brawl time. Rhodes and Garvin are brawling, Double shoulder block to Badstreet, Armstrong wants to unmask Badstreet but Hayes is in and clotheslines Armstrong. Double DDT on Armstrong and this match is over for Steve Armstrong, we have our first elimination but Hayes back-drops Smothers to the floor which is a DQ in WCW so Michael Hayes has been eliminated for the back-drop to the floor. Badstreet in there with Smothers now, scoop slam and diving axe handle from Badstreet. Smothers reverses and makes the tag but Garvin had the referee distracted, Double DDT on Smothers and it’s goodnight for Smothers. Garvin celebrates but eats a flying clothesline and we are down to Rhodes vs Badstreet.
Diving axe handle by Badstreet, Rhodes is sent to the buckle head-first. Snap-mare into an elbow drop, two for Badstreet. Kick to the face, Rhodes stops Badstreet going up top. Scoop slam and Badstreet is high but a fist to the ribs and a flying clothesline from Rhodes. Big Daddy Dink distracts the referee so Badstreet can kick out, Badstreet sends Rhodes to the buckle who explodes out with a Running Bulldog and a kick to Big Daddy Dink for the win.
Best match of the night so far, not a fan of the concept of elimination after elimination thick and fast, I think if they are spaced out there can be more drama involved but nonetheless, this match was fun. Not sure where we go from here for the two tag teams involved, I have seen them wrestle for so long now. Give me something new please!
Winners: Team Rhodes over The Fabulous Freebirds via Running Bulldog!
The Yellow Dog vs Johnny B. Badd W/ Teddy Long
Flamboyant Johnny B. Badd is here and his opponent is The Yellow Dog aka Brian Pillman in a mask because he lost the Loser Leaves WCW match at the previous Clash. Badd’s first PPV appearance so let’s see how Badd does with Pillman who was a rising star in the company also. Dog slaps Badd, Badd comes back with a knee and a scoop slam. Dog lands a massive dropkick and a chop, Badd rolls out to the floor. Side headlock by Dog, crucifix into a victory roll for two. Badd is not happy, wristlock from Dog. Eye-poke and clubbing blows from Badd, Irish whip but Dog avoids the scoop slam. O’Connor roll does not work but Dog dropkicks Badd into Teddy Long. Badd plays possum and lands a clothesline, Dog meets the guardrail and is the victim of vicious kicks.
The two exchange chops, Dog misses a middle rope diving crossbody and Badd goes for a diving sunset flip. Two for Badd, Badd tries ripping at the mask but Dog counters with a jaw-breaker. Badd misses a left-straight and Dog lands a German suplex, big chops from Dog. Eye-rake and Irish whip by Badd, Dog lands a spinning heel kick, back body drop by Dog. Dog lands a Diving Crossbody and Long attacks for the DQ!
Ok match, not a fan of the gimmick as I feel it is out of place in 1991, works better in the territory days but why do this to Pillman when Pillman was over like rover previous to this?
Winner: Yellow Dog over Johnny B. Badd via DQ!
(Lumberjack Match) Big Josh vs Black Blood
I saw vignettes for Black Blood but I have no idea about the gimmick while Big Josh is a big Lumberjack played by Matt Borne who would later play Doink. Black Blood is Billy Jack Haynes! Wow that’s an interesting one, right hands before Big Josh is dumped to the floor and beaten to death by the heels. Big Josh is helped by the babyfaces back in this time, I still see JYD there. Big Josh fights back with a clothesline and dropkick, the heels take care of Black Blood. Snap-mare before both men chop one another many times, Big Josh trips up Black Blood and lands the log roll. More back and forth, the lumberjacks are getting mad with one another. Lumberjacks start brawling which gets a pop, Black Blood continues to land face-busters and a leg drop. Josh boots Black Blood in the face, big right hands from Big Josh. Irish whip and running chop, whip to the buckle. Black Blood boots Big Josh in the face, another brawl on the floor. German suplex from Black Blood, Black Blood has his axe. Dustin Rhodes smashes Black Blood in the leg and Big Josh cradles for the win.
Shite match here, they work the stipulation well but this stipulation is never going to be high on matches I want to see, Dustin Rhodes attacking the knee of Black Blood for the win is bizarre too, I suppose it was as good as they could hope for but not very entertaining for me to watch.
Winner: Big Josh over Black Blood via Small Package!
One Man Gang vs El Gigante
Gigante comes to the rings with a bunch of midgets, Sullivan looks like a grandad with his hair-style, make-up and pyjama pants attire. Gigante does not have his mullet, what happened? They shaved his head that’s what happened, One Man Gang powders. Hip-toss by Gigante, shoulder thrusts by Gigante. One Man Gang avoids Gigante and lands a middle rope diving clothesline, One Man Gang attacks Gigante with a foreign object. Sullivan attacks Gigante for good measure from the outside, One Man Gang has the object and works the knee of Gigante who sells poorly. Gigante is crawling around the ring, will this end? Splash from One Man Gang but Gigante survives, hot-shot from One Man Gang and he climbs to the top rope. Gigante yanks One Man Gang off the top rope, elbow by Gigante. Whip to the buckle and suplex, Sullivan tries to interfere but is crotched on the buckle. Gigante lands a noggin-knocker on both, One Man Gang has powder. Gigante kicks it into the face of One Man Gang and a Northern Lariat later, this is over. GARBAGE!
Winner: El Gigante over One Man Gang via Northern Lariat!
(Russian Chain Match) Nikita Koloff vs Sting
Obviously an odd one here as all things pointed to Luger vs Nikita considering Nikita took out Luger when Luger was presented with the new United States Championship but plans changed and now Sting stands across from Nikita. They had a good match at the previous Clash with Sting squeaking out a victory but this is the speciality of Koloff, the chain is applied and Nikita starts talking that trash to the face of Sting.
Big boot from Nikita to start, Sting fires back with boots and clubbing blows. Nikita meets the ring-post with his shoulder, Sting drops Nikita on the guardrail twice at ringside. Sting sends Nikita into the buckle over and over, Nikita rolls to the floor. Sting chokes Nikita with the chain around ringside, Nikita is on the ramp but continue to try and create distance from The Stinger. Ah yes, the Russian Chain Match where you have to touch all four corners, a concept that never fails to deliver. Nikita stops Sting from touching the corner, Sting is bounced off the guardrail. Nikita lands a clothesline using the chain, Nikita ties it around his fist and batters Sting across the neck and back. Sting grabs Nikita in the ring but Nikita clubs down Sting, anything will do to maintain control.
Elbow drop with the chain by Nikita, Nikita chokes the life out of Sting with the chain. Nikita tries an elbow drop but Sting moves, right-hand from Sting. Sting yanks the chain through the nuts of Nikita, Nikita low-blows Sting and goes to touch the corners, three corners for Nikita. Sting kicks Nikita and breaks the progress, both men grapple one another and they continue to touch the corners together. Low-blow by Nikita, low-blow by Sting. Sting touches three corners but Nikita clubs down Sting and a Russian Sickle. Both men have three corners but Sting lands a Stinger Splash and it sends Nikita into the corner for the win.
Shockingly shite finish in a strap match, who would have seen that coming? Anyways, all the heat that they had built with the Superbrawl moment and the attacks on the previous Clash go to waste because this match is worthless. Not a whole lot of pacing going on, finish is lame.
Winner: Nikita Koloff via Touching All 4 Corners!
(Vacant WCW World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match) Barry Windham vs Lex Luger
Interesting to have a battle between two men for the WCW Championship when they are both regarded as having missed out on the right moment to put the championships on them, Windham deserved the championship due to his work in 1986 and 1987 while Lex Luger had arguably been as popular as Sting and due to Flair’s promise to Sting, Luger never held that championship when it could have been his time. These two never did feud over the United States Championship that would have been perfect considering Windham stole Luger’s place in The Horsemen. Things are very different now though, we want Flair chants from the fans so this might be a disaster.
Luger seems to be heeling it up from the get-go, Luger does not seem like his usual self here while Windham looks ready to capture that championship. Shoulder block with neither man going down, Luger blocks a suplex as does Windham. Clean break from both, shoulder block from Windham but Luger answers with a hip-toss. Side headlock by Luger, shoulder block by Luger. Windham catches Luger with a dropkick, small package by Luger for one. Luger lands a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop, they slug it out before resetting again. Windham and Luger trade a little wrestling holds before Windham slaps the shit out of Luger, suplex by Luger though. Again, they stop and reset.
Windham tries snapping the leg of Luger, Luger avoids it. Very slow test of strength who kicks the leg of Windham, Windham lands a shoulder block but Luger slaps on a sleeper. Windham escapes and leapfrogs before slapping on the sleeper, Windham gets caught before yanking Luger off the top rope. Knee-drop for two, Windham climbs high and Luger eats a boot to the face. Windham misses the diving elbow drop, back body drop and three clotheslines for two for Luger. Irish whip into an elbow for two, Irish whip into the powerslam from Luger. Torture Rack from Luger, Windham flips out using the ropes and lands a belly to back suplex. Luger places Windham on the top rope, Windham avoids the superplex.
Windham is up high, diving clothesline from Windham. Luger pops right back up, Irish whip into the back-body drop. Windham measures and lands his Flying Lariat, scoop slam by Windham. Two for Windham, Windham climbs up again and lands a missile dropkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes are here, why? Windham is confused by this, Windham is talking smack with Hughes. Luger knees Windham who was distracted and Luger lands a piledriver for the win! New champion for the first time, Luger is WCW World Heavyweight Champion.
That was such average as a match, it is shocking. Utterly shocking that they put that together, it seemed like an attempt from a company that has been utterly deflated by the loss of The Nature Boy. The finish is such an odd one because nobody knows Luger has turned heel, Luger did not even pull off anything heelish in there. The stops and starts really take their toll, I understand the idea of pacing yourself in a championship match from a kayfabe sense but the fans are sitting on their hands and chanting for Flair. Nowhere near a championship calibre match, very disappointing.
Winner: Lex Luger over Barry Windham via Piledriver!
(Mixed Tag Steel Cage Match) Arn Anderson & Paul E. Dangerously vs Missy Hyatt & Rick Steiner
What is this match? Why is it the main event? Hyatt and Dangerously had been feuding but we are going to have a steel cage match? Hyatt defeated Dangerously in an arm-wrestling contest but this is a whole other ball game. Dirty Dick Slater and Dick Murdoch kidnap Missy Hyatt. Rick Steiner is all alone against Anderson and Dangerously. Not sure how that handicaps Rick Steiner in any way, makes things way easier for Rick as he does not have to worry about Missy Hyatt. Rick powerslams Anderson hard, Dangerously freaks out on the apron. Anderson knees Rick in the spine, bearhug from Rick. Dangerously lands a diving axe handle on Rick, Anderson has Dangerously’s boot. Anderson tries an axe handle, Rick clotheslines Anderson before grabbing Dangerously. Scoop slam and Steiner-Line for the win. Your main event boys and girls, what a joke.
Winner: Team Hyatt over Team Dangerously via Steiner-Line!
That was WCW’s Great American Bash 1991, an awful PPV up there with The Bunkhouse Stampede 1988 PPV and December to Dismember. This card was awful, we kick things off with a tag team scaffold match that revolves around punches and kicks and not much else before Eaton casually walks across and grabs the flag for the win. Pointless stuff, things do not improve as Z-Man and Studd work a match with little to no heat to it, just kept going and never felt like ending. That feeling of will this garbage ever end continues as Oz and Ron Simmons stink up the ring together. The card I thought would change when I saw Ricky Morton vs Robert Gibson but the work leg goes far too long and by the time the finish comes around, I had lost all interest in this match as had the crowd.
The Lumberjack match was rough too, just brawling with little to no fun. Gigante vs One Man Gang should never ever have been booked, that was horrific. Sting vs Koloff does not deliver despite the great build they had, all of it pissed away in this dull strap match and you world heavyweight championship match is so dull and lifeless from a brilliant worker in Windham and a popular babyface in Luger, it is so middle of the road and safe I just cannot imagine how a world championship match in a cage was so boring but WCW shows me how it can be and finally, a main event that goes 2 minutes because why not right? Top tier terrible PPV, avoid this like the plague! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!