Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more incoherent than an Ultimate Warrior promo! This is WCW Clash of The Champions XII: Mountain Madness. I will be honest with you, I am looking at this card and it seems something awful happened in WCW, who are the people on this card? I don’t recognize half of these names, how many new gimmicks have been shoehorned onto this card? The Black Scorpion vs Sting is our main event, we will see how it goes from here.
The Fabulous Freebirds W/ Buddy Roberts vs The Wide-Eyed Southern Boys W/ Bullet Bob Armstrong
Tracy and Hayes to start, Tracy batters Hayes with ten punches and a back body drop. In comes Garvin, lock-up. Superkick from Smothers takes out Garvin, Garvin backs Smothers to the corner and The Freebirds tee off before Armstrong flies off the top rope with a diving crossbody to wipe out the two. Garvin brings Smothers to the corner again, they tease the same spot but Freebirds are caught with another dropkick. Stalling before Hayes tees off on Smothers, Hayes misses a right hand but lands a left that sends Smothers to the floor. Garvin lands a clothesline on Smothers, Armstrong checks on his partners. Knees take Smothers down to the floor, Garvin lands a scoop slam in the ring. Tag to Hayes who chops down Smothers, running bulldog connects on Smothers.
Smothers lands a sunset flip but Hayes counters with a right hand, reverse chin-lock from Hayes. Smothers shrugs off Hayes but a left takes down Smothers. Garvin drops Smothers across the top rope, Garvin lands a slam and climbs high. Smothers fights back and yanks Garvin back into the ring, tag to Armstrong. Back body drop by Armstrong, dropkicks all around. Hayes whips Armstrong, Roberts grabs the leg of Armstrong. O’Connor roll by Hayes, Bullet Bob Armstrong decks Hayes for two as Garvin breaks up the pin-fall. Flying shoulder tackle to Garvin, Hayes avoids the double shoulder block. Roberts throws in an object but The Freebirds cannot catch it, double sunset flip for the win. Freebirds get their heat back by landing a double DDT on Bullet Bob Armstrong.
Fine, your standard tag match with The Freebirds sliding further and further down the card but their entrance gear and ring gear getting more and more ridiculous with each time that I see the two. Anyways, Hayes and Garvin seem to be aging a lot with each performance also, it’s kind of concerning but then again, I guess that is what WCW does to you.
Winners: The Southern Boys over The Freebirds via Sunset Flip!
Captain Mike Rotunda vs Buddy Landell
Fuck me really? Landell applies a side headlock and shoulder block, Rotunda lands a flying left-arm clothesline. Side headlock from Rotunda, Landell tries rolling over but Rotunda holds onto the hold. Shoulder block and hip-toss by Rotunda, Landell says that Rotunda pulled his trunks. Landell takes the hammerlock, Rotunda counters but Landell lands an elbow. Rotunda sends Landell to the corner, hip-toss into an arm-bar. Rotunda and Landell slug it out briefly before Landell clubs down Rotunda, Landell uses the ropes for leverage. Rotunda hip-tosses out but misses and elbow drop, Landell lands a suplex. Landell chops Rotunda and Rotunda shakes it off, right hand and front chancery from Landell. Landell uses the ropes for leverage, Rotunda blocks the hip-toss and wins with a backslide.
The worst babyface I have ever seen, bland as bland can be. Charisma is non-existent and his finish is a backslide, I have seen more than I could ever want to see Mike Rotunda in a wrestling ring, get me out of here!
Winner: Mike Rotunda over Buddy Landell via Backslide!
The Master Blasters vs Tim Horner & Brad Armstrong
Iron and Steel taking on two guys that I have not seen in a few years in the NWA, we have Tim Horner who does not look young while Brad Armstrong is an awesome worker by all accounts. Steel is Kevin Nash so yeah, kind of a big deal in a few years. Steel shoves down Horner and slams him around the place, in comes Iron who lands a knee. Iron works the arm with clubbing blows, Horner is dragged into the corner. Steel and Iron land elbows, chops on the chest. Horner avoids a corner splash, Steel and Iron land elbows and headbutts for two. Horner tags in Armstrong, Iron lands a shoulder block. More arm-work, double clothesline for two. Powerslam for two, Armstrong avoids an elbow drop. Dropkicks by Armstrong, boot by Steel. Clubbing blows by Steel, in comes Iron.
Flying shoulder block, scoop slam by Iron. Elbow drop by Iron for two, Iron lands a leg drop for two. Armstrong dropkicks Iron, in comes Horner. Back body drop on Iron, sleeper by Horner. Steel comes in before Armstrong is sent to the floor, Steel and Iron have Horner for a flying shoulder block douhle-style. A squash and not a great one at that.
Winners: Master Blasters over Horner & Armstrong via Flying Shoulder Tackle!
The Nasty Boys vs Jackie Fulton & Terry Taylor
What an odd pairing, I am familiar with Fulton as The Eagle and as George Hines in AJPW where he did not do too bad for a gaijin but this does not look good as their opponents are The Nasty Boys. Knobbs clubs down Fulton, Fulton gets the upper-hand with a crossbody. Taylor comes in and lands a neck-breaker, Knobbs continues to scream at fans. Knobbs works the arm, Taylor kicks off Knobbs. Taylor arm-drags and hip-tosses both Nasty Boys, tag to Fulton. Fulton works the arm but Saggs escapes when Taylor comes into the match. Big toss to the floor, Saggs is sent into the ring-post and eats a diving shoulder block from the apron. Taylor lands a flying crossbody for two, back to the arm and a tag to Fulton. Fujiwara armbar from Fulton, Saggs brings Fulton to his corner. Fulton escapes and arm-drags Knobbs before a tag to Taylor, atomic drop and belly to back suplex before Fulton lands a missile dropkick for two. Tag to Taylor, Taylor lowers his head off an Irish whip and Knobbs grabs the hair and slams down Taylor.
Saggs comes in, snap-mare into a knee-drop. Knobbs lands a massive forearm, Taylor tries a sunset flip and lands it for two. Knobbs attacks Fulton, Saggs and Knobbs put the boots to Taylor. Taylor out-smarts the Nasty Boys, they bang heads before Fulton comes in and lands dropkicks, hip-tosses and a close German suplex for two. Fulton climbs high again, Knobbs counters for a powerslam in mid-air. Jerry Saggs lands his Diving Elbow Drop for the win!
Fine debut for The Nasty Boys, they looked decent in the ring and have a unique look to them while the gear is matching which is always a nice touch when it comes to tag teams. They also look like rough dickheads which helps the gimmick.
Winners: The Nasty Boys over Taylor & Fulton via Diving Elbow Drop!
Wild Bill Irwin vs Tommy Rich
Irwin again? Tommy Rich is here again. Rich comes in and batters Irwin, Irwin lands a high knee and a shoulder block. Rich hip-tosses Irwin to the floor, Irwin is yanked into the ring. Elbow drops from Rich, Irwin grabs the arm and lands big chops. Rich avoids and lands a belly to back suplex, two for Rich. Side headlock takedown from Rich, Irwin shoves off Rich but gets caught in another side headlock. Irwin rolls and rolls but Rich has that headlock on tight, Irwin lands elbows to the kidneys but Rich has control. Sidewalk slam from Irwin flattens Rich, massive stomps from Irwin. Rich is rocked by a massive foot to the head, Rich hits the guardrail before Irwin lands an apron axe handle. Rich has his face smacked off the apron.
Rich begins firing up with rights before Rich is whipped off the ropes, Irwin wants the sidewalk slam but Rich tilts over into a sleeper. Irwin backs Rich into the corner, Irwin whips Rich to the buckle but Rich dodges the splash and lands his running Lou Thesz Press for the win.
Pretty boring match but that’s this show in a nutshell so far, I hope we can get something watchable at some point or this is going to be a long show.
Winner: Tommy Rich over Wild Bill Irwin via Lou Thesz Press!
(LWPA Women’s World Championship Match) Bambi vs Susan Sexton ©
LWPA was the more athletic answer to GLOW, Bambi lands two shoulder blocks before Sexton lands a drop toehold and a transition into a side headlock before Bambi counters with a head-scissors. Sexton escapes the hold and has a death-lock before Bambi uses her flexibility to grab the headlock and works the arm with a wristlock, Sexton counters and slams Bambi before landing a leg drop to the arm. Head-scissors from Bambi to counter, we have a stand-off after some nice exchanges. Sexton lands a massive forearm to the face, scoop slam by Sexton for two. Another stand-off, we have a test of strength before Bambi sends Sexton to the corner. Middle rope crossbody by Sexton, back body drop from Sexton. Scoop slam and elbow drop from Sexton for two. Small package from Bambi off an Irish whip but Sexton reverses for the win.
Not lighting the world on fire and certainly not a lot of reaction from the fans but they worked hard and I appreciate compared to having to watch Rotunda wrestle as a babyface.
Winner: Susan Sexton over Bambi via Small Package!
(NWA United States Tag Team Championship Match) The Steiner Brothers © vs Maximum Overdrive
Silencer and Hunter, are we just using threatening names now? What about Blade and Laser? Scott to start with Silencer? Clean break from Scott, Scott takes the leg and ties up Silencer and applies a pin-fall before Silencer reaches the ropes. Silencer says he grabbed my tights, Scott says get out of there with that BS. Wristlock from Scott into a nice trip, Silencer keeps talking about pulled tights. Another lock-up, to the corner we go as Silencer lands massive forearms. Scott hip-tosses Silencer to the mat, more tights talk from Silencer. To the ropes we go, side headlock from Silencer. Back body drop from Scott, arm-drags to Maximum Overdrive and a huge Steinerline from Rick. In comes Hunter, nice mullets all around.
Hunter knees and chokes Scott, the big man going to club before Scott sends Hunter to the corner and lands a German suplex. In comes Rick, Hunter takes down Rick before being caught in a powerslam. Hunter tags in Silencer, knees by Rick. Steinerline, top rope DDT from The Steiners for the win. How many squash matches am I going to have to watch on this night? Pure joke at this stage!
Winners: The Steiners over Maximum Overdrive via Top Rope DDT!
Stan Hansen vs The Z-Man
As a big fan of AJPW, I know all about The Lariat. Hansen had been terrorizing Baba, Tsuruta and Tenryu over the last number of years in AJPW but in 1990, it seems Hansen is in WCW for another try at success in America. Hansen charges Zenk like a bull, chairshot about ten seconds into the match. Headbutts and forearms from Hansen, Zenk is rocked already. Knee to the head from Hansen, suplex from Hansen. Elbow drop for two, Hansen drags out Zenk to the apron. Elbows to the neck and a nice headbutt too, Zenk fires up before Hansen lands a headbutt. Big chops from Hansen, Hansen stamps on the face of Zenk. Belly to back suplex by Hansen, Zenk fights back with big dropkicks for two. Zenk whips Hansen to the buckle, shoulder block from Hansen. Lariato! Hansen wins the match.
Zenk never did it for me, the second I saw him and he had his first match I thought it will not be long before they abandon their hopes for Zenk, I am sure it was crushing for him but watching Vader and Hansen batter The Z-Man has been quite enjoyable for me.
Winner: Stan Hansen over The Z-Man via Lariat!
(NWA United States Heavyweight Championship Match) Lex Luger © vs Ric Flair
These two going at it again but Luger is the champion this time, a very different dynamic with Luger landing a massive shoulder block to kick us off. Flair is looking at a test of strength, bizarre strategy but Flair kicks Luger to gain control but the chops are not affecting the champion. Luger sends Flair to the buckle, military press slam by Luger. Another military press slam and a clothesline to the floor from Luger, Flair is on the floor looking for a breather. Luger lands a massive clothesline, Flair rakes the eyes and has Luger on the apron. Hot-shot does not work, Flair is begging for mercy. Military press slam but Luger misses a massive elbow drop, Flair takes control. Massive chops in the corner and a whip to the opposite buckle, Luger clotheslines out of the corner.
Flair talks about being injured, his shoulder is in bad condition. Massive right from Flair, Flair tosses Luger to the floor. Luger meets the guardrail, Flair stomps all over Luger’s back inside of the ring. Massive chop from Flair, Flair celebrates prematurely but Luger is in serious trouble. Luger is dumped to the floor again, chops and more chops before Luger is knocked into the guardrail. In the ring, Flair chops and kicks the knee of the champion. Luger begins to fight back, drilling Flair with roundhouse rights. Flair pokes the eyes of Luger, Irish whip from Flair. Hip-toss does not work, backslide from Luger for two. The chops and kicks are not working on The Total Package, ten punches in the corner from Luger. Inverted atomic drop does not work as Luger lands a clothesline for two.
So close for Luger, Flair grabs the head of Luger. Snap-mare into the knee-drop is coming but no, Flair goes for the cover. Multiple covers but Luger will not stay down, Flair climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Luger yanks down Flair, Flair is begging for mercy in the corner. Flair flip to the apron, clothesline by Luger. Military press slam by Luger, powerslam by Luger. Luger wants a superplex on Flair, Flair is drilled into the middle of the ring. Two for Luger as Flair places his foot on the ropes. Luger calls for the rack, right hands by Luger. Flair pokes the eyes of Luger, Irish whip but Luger reverses. We have a crossbody to the floor, Luger is on top before Flair sends Luger to the guardrail. Stan Hansen rushes to ringside and batters Luger, strangling Lex with the bull-rope.
Hard to imagine Flair vs Luger as a back-drop to sell Hansen vs Luger but it is some desperately needed top tier talent at the top of the card for WCW, they cannot rely on Sting, Luger and Flair forever. The match kicks ass as always, Flair and Luger work really well together. I would like to see Luger get a meaningful win over Flair for a championship, it seems like Luger is never going to reach that next level if he cannot topple Flair.
Winner: Lex Luger over Ric Flair via DQ!
(NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match) Sting © vs The Black Scorpion
Who is this man? What is his problem with Sting? Will we find out? The Scorpion seems to be in tremendous shape, Scorpion attacks Sting but Sting clubs his way back into the match. Scorpion fights back with shoulder thrusts and clubbing blows, Sting has been rocked. Sting is clubbed around the ring by Scorpion, a big foot choke from Scorpion. We go to the floor, Sting drops Scorpion on the guardrail. Clubbing blows again and again, kicks and punches by Scorpion. Sting tries to get the mask, it does not work as Scorpion fights back with a blatant choke.
More clubbing blows, I would love a bit of variety at this point please? More punches as Sting is on the ramp, Sting attacks Scorpion on the ramp. Scorpion scrambles to the ring, more punches from Sting. A dropkick from Sting, face-buster from Sting. Sting chokes Scorpion, Scorpion breaks the hold. Middle rope choke from Scorpion, knees to the back. Irish whip reversal by the champion and a big military press slam, Sting lands a diving crossbody for two. Clothesline from Sting, whip to the buckle and a Stinger Splash for the win. Another mask is underneath this mask and another Scorpion appears on the ramp?
This was a garbage match at the end of the day, just kicks and punches over and over from The Black Scorpion. This is certainly a big change from the heated Flair and Sting battle, we have almost a turn into a Scooby Doo like mystery for your next big angle? WCW is baffling at times for sure!
Winner: Sting over Black Scorpion via Stinger Splash!
That was WCW’s Clash of The Champions XII: Mountain Madness/Fall Brawl 90 and it was a shit-show from WCW, I have no problem with establishing new acts or having squash matches but you do not have a competitive match on this card until Luger vs Flair, every other match is practically a squash. Freebirds are beaten quickly, a Rotunda match, a Tommy Rich match. Master Blasters and Maximum Overdrive are generic as they come, it’s honestly brutal and easily one of the worst shows I have watched from top to bottom. This company has a very small main event pool and the talent up and down the card is not balancing out like it should, they are good things like Nasty Boys being another solid addition to the tag scene and Hansen adding credibility to a diluted roster but it is not enough to paper over the big cracks and I wonder what will happen as we edge closer to 1991 because at the end of that year comes the departure of The Nature Boy. Avoid this show like the plague, it’s awful! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!