Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series in the
internet that is more polarizing than Brandi Rhodes! It is time for Clash of
The Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder! This card looks atrocious like the
last Clash, it is filled with squash matches and such. No way is this going to
be anything watchable, let’s just get into it!
The Fabulous
Freebirds vs The Wide-Eyed Southern Boys
Garvin and Smothers to start, side
headlock from Garvin. Smothers leapfrogs and drop-downs before landing
hip-tosses and dropkicks to The Freebirds and Lil’ Richard. Hayes comes in,
they batter Smothers before we see the crossbody spot that we saw the last time
we saw them wrestle. Side headlock from Hayes, arm-drag and scoop slam from Smothers.
Scoop slam for Garvin, double clothesline for The Freebirds. Hayes catches Smothers
with his quick left, Smothers takes a bump from the apron to the guardrail. In
comes Garvin, scoop slam by Garvin. Two slams from Garvin, Smothers lands a
sunset flip for two. Clothesline by Garvin, Garvin climbs high but Smothers slams
down Garvin. The referee misses the tag to Armstrong, Armstrong says screw it
and lands a double clothesline. Lil’ Richard is on the apron, Garvin is back
body-dropped onto the ramp. Armstrong dives onto Garvin, Lil’ Richard trips up
Smothers who was running the ropes and Hayes lands the DDT for the win.
Thankfully quick, the two teams can
work well together having done so at a previous Clash but I have no interest in
seeing the two do battle for anything longer than 6 minutes, let’s switch it up
in the tag team division!
Winners: The Fabulous
Freebirds over The Wide-Eyed Southern Boys via DDT!
Nature Boy Buddy
Landell vs Flyin’ Brian Pillman
Rematch time, Landell tries to chop
down Pillman but Pillman uses his speed with a backslide and a clothesline.
Landell is on the ramp, Air Pillman from the youngster. Pillman wants a
piledriver, Landell reverses and lands a big right before a clothesline sends
Pillman back into the ring. Knee sends Pillman to the floor, Landell sends
Pillman into the ring-post. Chops in the corner, whip to the opposite buckle
before Pillman lands a hip-toss and a dropkick. Springboard crossbody from
Pillman to the floor, knee from Landell. Knee to the head, Landell lands a kick
to the ribs and goes to the abdominal stretch for leverage. Pillman fights out
and tries a middle rope crossbody but gets caught and Pillman eats a back-breaker
for two.
Pillman lands a massive back
body-drop, Landell puts Pillman in the corner looking for the superplex but
Pillman shoves down Landell and lands a Diving Crossbody for the win!
Not much difference between this and
their previous encounter, Landell takes most of the match and it is boring
before Pillman does something interesting to engage the audience, Pillman seems
lost in the shuffle for someone who is so popular.
Winner: Flyin’
Brian Pillman over Buddy Landell via Diving Crossbody!
The Cat vs Brad
Armstrong
Curtis Hughes is here against jobber
to the stars in Brad Armstrong. Cat shoves down Armstrong, more lock-ups before
Cat whips Armstrong. Armstrong ducks the clothesline and lands the dropkick, side
headlock into a wristlock by Armstrong. Counter from Cat, Armstrong tries a
crossbody but Cat lands three back-breakers and poses for the fans. Cat works
the back of Armstrong with forearms, hard Irish whip to the buckle. Bearhug
from Cat, Armstrong fights his way out. Shot to the ribs, dropkick by Armstrong
but Armstrong misses the second dropkick. Torture Rack and The Cat wins! Squash
City right there!
Winner: The Cat
over Brad Armstrong via Torture Rack!
The Z-Man vs
Brian Lee
Shoulder block from Brian Lee, side
headlock from Z-Man. Enzuigiri to the back of the head from Z-Man, lock-up and
knee from Lee. Whip to the buckle, Zenk leapfrogs over and lands a hip-toss.
Zenk goes high and tries a diving crossbody but misses big time. Lee eats a
dropkick from Zenk, Lee wants a break. Zenk superkicks Lee in the face, scoop
slam and Zenk climbs high. Missile dropkick by Zenk for the win. Fuck me that
sucked!
Winner: The Z-Man
over Brian Lee via Missile Dropkick!
The Star Blazer
vs Michael Wallstreet W/ Alexandra York
Captain Mike is no longer, back into
his singlet and wrestling style offense. All red singlet and wrestling holds
all around. Back into the Varsity Club era I see, side headlock by Wallstreet.
Shoulder block by Wallstreet, hip-toss and dropkicks by Star Blazer. Side
headlock by Blazer before Wallstreet sends Blazer to the floor, hot-shot by
Wallstreet. Abdominal stretch, Wallstreet uses the ropes for leverage. Blazer
catches Wallstreet with a boot, elbow by Blazer. Wallstreet rolls up Blazer
with a terrible looking Boston crab before landing The Wallstreet Crash!
Another squash, bring me a competitive match!
Winner: Michael
Wallstreet over Star Blazer via Wallstreet Crash!
Colonel DeKlerk
& Sgt. Krueger vs Kalua & The Botswana Beast
Qualifying match for the Pat O’Connor
Memorial Tournament, Krueger slaps Kalua before Kalua lands a knee-lift, DeKlerk
has his arm worked before a roll-up. DeKlerk taunts the crowd, Kalua grabs a
wristlock. DeKlerk almost roll-sup Kalua again, two for DeKlerk. Springboard moonsault
from DeKlerk, drop toehold into an elbow drop from Krueger. The Beast and
Krueger are in, clubbing blow and flying clothesline by The Beast. DeKlerk
comes in and offers a handshake, powerslam and corner splash by The Beast
before DeKlerk lands a massive clothesline after flipping away from The Beast.
Two diving axe handles, Beast counters with a powerslam. Krueger breaks it up,
Beast lands an atomic drop. Match breaks down, Beast wants a powerslam but Krueger
dropkicks DeKlerk onto The Beast for the win. Another shite match!
Winners: DeKlerk
& Krueger over The Beast & Kalua via Dropkick!
Lex Luger vs The
Motor City Madman
Who? Luger kicks us off by brawling
with the Motor City Madman. Madman clubs Luger, Luger lands a crossbody for
two. Lariat and an elbow to the face, Madman is on the apron. Madman wants a
suplex to the ramp but Luger blocks, Luger brainbusters Madman into the ring.
Scoop slam but the elbow drop misses, sidewalk slam from Madman. Luger blocks
the back-breaker, clothesline from Luger for the win. Another shitty match,
kill me already.
Winner: Lex Luger
over Motor City Madman via Clothesline!
The Nasty Boys vs
The Renegade Warriors
Saggs to start with Mark, clean break
from Mark. Saggs lands a cheap-shot, forearm shots from Saggs. Tag to Knobbs,
double suplex on Mark Youngblood. Knobbs is unaware of the blind tag, Chris
lands a flying crossbody and works the arm. Diving axe handle from Mark, diving
axe handle from Chris. Knobbs clubs the crap out of Chris, Saggs comes into the
match. Arm-drags and wristlock from Chris, tag to Mark who works the arm. Saggs
grabs the hair, Mark is thrown over the top rope. Knobbs tosses Mark into the
guardrail, Saggs and Knobbs work the arm of Mark. Knobbs distracts the referee
so no tag for Chris Youngblood. Shoulder-breaker from Saggs but wait here we
have The Steiners, we have a brawl.
Winners: The
Nasty Boys over The Renegade Warriors via DQ!
Sid Vicious vs
The Nightstalker
Sid borrowing from Wallstreet’s
wardrobe, Nightstalker wants a test of strength. Sid wins and kicks Stalker,
shoulder block and both collide before Stalker has the bearhug. Sid escapes but
Stalker works the ribs with knees, Sid lands a massive belly to back suplex on
Stalker. The Cat is here, Nightstalker has his axe and misses, Sid clubs people
with the axe and wins.
What was this? Sid is the babyface? Is
there something going on with The Horsemen? Where are they to help Sid?
Nightstalker and The Cat together? So many bad matches back to back, this is
atrocious.
Winner: Sid
Vicious over Nightstalker via Axe To The Neck!
The Steiner
Brothers vs Magnum Force
Scott wrestles one of these jobbers, Jobber
1 is not happy with Scott’s attacks. Scott trips up Jobber 1 and stomps on him,
tilt-a-whirl slam and powerslam from Scott. Knee and tag to Rick, Jobber 2
tries to pepper Rick with rights. Rick lands a big right, Steinerline. Tag to
Scott, Frakensteiner for the win. Joke of a show ladies and gentlemen!
Winners: The
Steiner Brothers over Magnum Force via Frankensteiner!
Ric Flair vs
Butch Reed
If Flair wins, they receive a championship
match and Teddy Long becomes the chauffeur of Flair while if Reed wins, they
receive Flair’s Rolls Royce and yacht. They lock-up, Reed pushes Flair to the
corner. Clean break, side headlock and shoulder block. Lock-up and knee to the
ribs, chops in the corner before Reed chops back at Flair. Reed lands rights
and lefts decking Flair, military press slam by Reed. Flair and Reed trade
pin-falls, backslide for two. Flair begs for mercy, right hands by Reed. Ten
punches from Reed, hip-toss from the corner and a dropkick from Reed. Eye-poke
from Flair, kicks to the ribs from Flair. Gut shots from Flair and big chops.
Flair starts stomping the leg, Reed is tossed illegally to the floor before
Anderson lands a clothesline.
Flair chops and chops, Reed chops and
chops back. Right hands and a stinging left by Reed, Flair comes forward and is
battered. Flair flop, Flair begs for mercy. Flair flip to the floor and Simmons
batters Flair, Flair misses a knee-drop and Reed applies the figure four. Anderson
pulls Flair into the ropes, Flair is on the apron. Flair tries to block, Reed
suplexes Flair into the ring for two. Reed slams Flair, Reed misses a diving
elbow drop. Right hands to the head of Flair, Flair complains of the pain.
Flair chops back at Reed before Reed decks Flair with massive rights and lefts,
military press slam again. Right hand from Flair, Teddy Long places the foot on
the ropes. Reed lands more rights and lefts, back body drop from Reed. Gorilla
press slam again for two, Anderson pulled the referee to the floor. Diving
Shoulder Block connects from Reed, Teddy Long is distracting the referee.
Eye-rake from Flair, Reed is back-dropped onto the referee, Simmons
clotheslines Flair. Anderson has a chair and waffles Reed in the spine but
Simmons does not see it, Flair covers for the win.
Decent match, not Luger or Hawk or
Nikita levels of good but Reed’s best singles performance in the ring since
joining the company, Flair and Reed have a match that blows everything else out
of the water on this card but it is not anything great. It held my attention
which is good because I think I was going to fall asleep before this, credit to
Flair for making me care again when Reed was in the ring by himself without
Simmons.
Winner: Ric Flair
over Butch Reed via Chair-Shot!
That was WCW’s Clash of The Champions
XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder and this might be the lowest point of checking out
WCW in the history of my reviews, the previous Clash was rough and The Great
American Bash had some head-scratching matches in there but these are glorified
house-show level matches on this card, magnum force and renegade warriors and
matches not lasting over 6 minutes? We are trying to build towards Starrcade
and not one thing on this show made me interested to see that show, I am not
excited for the tag tournament, I am not into whatever is going on with Sid. I
don’t care about The Freebirds battling Morton & Rich or Sting’s battle
with The Black Scorpion. Where is The Dudes with Attitudes? Why is Arn Anderson
never defending his Television Championship? Where is Barry Windham? What direction
are we heading with this company? Questions and questions but mostly unanswered
but thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!
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