Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet
that regularly winds up its audience more than a Meltzer Tweet! It’s time for
WCW’s Great American Bash 1991 and boy oh boy do we have some stories here. To
recap, Jim Herd had told Ric Flair to shave his head, wear a gladiator outfit
become Spartacus and Flair told Herd to go fuck himself which leaves us with no
world champion in WCW. So the main event is Lex Luger vs Barry Windham for the vacant
World Heavyweight Championship! The Horsemen are no more but we have a new
faction forming in The Dangerous Alliance led by Paul E. Dangerously, more on
that later but this card looks bizarre and has some squash matches shoved in
for good measure but Flair being gone is the main thing going into this show.
This show is called an all-time disaster so let’s see if that’s true!
(Scaffold
Skywalkers II Match) PN News and Beautiful Bobby Eaton vs Stunning Steve Austin
& Terrence Taylor
Why is Eaton not in a more prominent
match? Why is Taylor with Austin? A scaffold match where you win by stealing
someone’s flag? Austin has the television championship so I imagine Austin has
taken it from Eaton but what is this match? So they cannot do a whole lot in
the match, they have to wrestle one on one. They cuddle for most of the match
before Eaton takes the flag to win, Austin blinds Eaton with hairspray but the
match is over so they just brawl for a bit and then it’s over. The fuck was
that? Seven minutes of nothing.
Winners:
Beautiful Bobby Eaton & PN News over Stunning Steve Austin & Terrence
Taylor via Flag Retrieval!
The Diamond Studd
vs The Z-Man
This starts with a leaping clothesline
and chops by Z-Man, Studd is rocked in the corner. Corner clothesline by Zenk,
side headlock but DDP low-bridges Zenk. Zenk chases down DDP but Studd clubs
that fool, Studd sends Zenk into the guardrail. In the ring, Studd clubs Zenk
but Zenk fires up, low kick to the ribs from Studd. Zenk meets the buckle,
twice for Zenk. Zenk blocks the third attempt but Studd clubs down Zenk again.
Middle rope choke from Zenk, Zenk ducks clotheslines and elbows and lands a
crossbody for two. Zenk eats two knees to the ribs, make it three. Chest chops,
Zenk fires back with chops of his own.
Whip to the opposite buckle reversed
by Studd, shoulder thrusts in the corner. Abdominal stretch from Studd, Studd
continues to use the ropes for leverage before being caught. Hip-toss by Zenk
but Studd avoids the elbow drop, Zenk comes back again with right hands.
Chokeslam from Studd, Studd calls for his finish. Studd almost gets rolled up
but kicks out at two, Studd waits and lands a vicious clothesline. Irish whip
by Studd who lowers his head, Zenk lands a sunset flip but Studd counters with
a fist to the head. Zenk manages to land a superkick, Studd is sent into the
guardrail and ring apron. Missile dropkick for two , DDP attacks Zenk so Zenk
sends DDP into the ring and lands a thrust-kick. Studd lands a belly to back suplex
for the win.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel
here, Zenk is bland as bland can be as a babyface while Studd is not the full
package here at all, character is not fleshed out nor the mannerisms, what you
receive is a match that only goes 7 minutes but feels like 20 minutes. Really
bad stuff.
Winner: The
Diamond Studd over The Z-Man via Belly to Back Suplex!
Oz W/ The Wizard
vs Ron Simmons
First real test for Oz, Simmons can be
explosive fun and has quickly moved on from what happened with Butch Reed, clean
breaks all around after lock-ups. Side headlock from Oz, Simmons struggles to
break free under this hold. Simmons does turn the hold and trips down Oz, Oz
pops back to his feet. Shoulder blocks with neither man moving before Oz lands
a boot to the face and a shoulder block, make it two. Drop toehold from
Simmons, Oz clubs down Simmons. Ugly looking clotheslines by Simmons before Oz
is clotheslined to the floor on the third attempt, test of strength with Oz
kicking Simmons to maintain control. Simmons wins the test but Oz clubs down
Simmons again, axe handle blows from Oz.
Oz tosses Simmons to the floor, the
Wizard gets involved and lands a massive kick to the ribs of Simmons. Simmons
lands a shoulder thrust on the apron and dives over for the sunset flip, Oz
counters with a right hand. Simmons ducks a clothesline and lands a dropkick,
chop-blocks and a shot to The Wizard. Flying shoulder block and its over.
Wow that was bad, really bad and if
this is a sign of things to come, I understand why this PPV has such a terrible
reputation, this was brutal just like the matches before.
Winner: Ron Simmons
over Oz via Flying Shoulder Tackle!
Richard Morton W/
Alexandra York vs Robert Gibson
The Rock “N” Roll Express implodes!
Morton had turned on Dustin Rhodes to join The York Foundation, this would lead
to Gibson questioning the actions of Morton which led to this match. Richard
Morton has done nothing to change his look so you could hardly tell that this
was meant to be a new Ricky Morton. Thankfully they both know how to work, it
starts on the floor with fists flying. Morton is on the floor, looking for
strategy as Gibson is furious. The two get down to business with Gibson
slamming Morton down with Morton powdering to the floor. Morton is begging for
mercy, more strategy talk between Morton and Alexandra York.
Clean break from Gibson, Morton powders
once again. Gibson is too eager and Morton takes control by working the leg
that was injured, wrapping it around the ring-post. Morton goes after the knee
with Gibson fighting on one leg, a knee-lift finds the mark before Morton trips
up Gibson and drops his knee on the leg time and time again. Morton rips at the
tights of Gibson to expose the injured leg of Gibson, vicious stuff here with
stomps to the knee. Gibson tries a sunset flip and succeeds but the leg is
still in tremendous pain, Morton applies a figure four on the damaged leg. We
sit in the hold for a while before Gibson turns over the hold, Gibson tries to crawl
away but Morton is in control. Slamming the knee into the mat again and again, the
knee is smacked off the ring apron.
Gibson fights back with right hands, Gibson
uses the ropes to hold himself up. Morton kicks the knee and Gibson collapses
to the mat again, Gibson lands a DDT out of nowhere. Back body-drop, Gibson
misses a dropkick and Morton works the leg again. Morton climbs high, Gibson
yanks Morton to the canvas and lands an enzuigiri. Morton is on the ramp, they
brawl on the ramp before both attempting dropkicks and crashing to the floor.
York leaves her computer behind and distracts the referee. Morton smashes Gibson
on the head with the computer for the win.
That leg work really went somewhere right?
Way too long, I like the story of going after the knee, it is simple and
straight-forward but Morton working the knee is shockingly boring. Considering
his selling ability, you would think that it would have been a night-off for
these two but this went on and on, far too long. Good for Morton that he picks
up the win but I really do not want to see either of those two in WCW anymore,
put them in SMW already!
Winner: Ricky Morton
over Robert Gibson via Computer To The Head!
(Six-Man Elimination
Match) The Fabulous Freebirds & Badstreet W/ Big Daddy Dink vs The Young
Pistols & Dustin Rhodes
Pistols and Freebirds have been
feuding the majority of the year at this point while Rhodes had been feuding
with The York Foundation before finding himself a part of this feud. Hayes
chops and right hands Rhodes, whip to the opposite buckle. Whip reversal by
Rhodes who lands scoop slams and Bionic elbows all around, Hayes stalls before
pushing Rhodes to the ropes. Garvin lands his knee and the heels are clearing
house before Rhodes lands a double face-buster, diving shoulder blocks by The
Young Pistols and The Freebirds powder.
Smothers and Garvin next, Garvin looks
to have slimmed down a little too which is good for him. Lots of stalling
before Garvin lands knees and right hands, whip to the buckle and back body
drop by Smothers. One dropkick by Smothers, Garvin avoids the second dropkick.
Blind tag to Armstrong who waits and waits before landing a diving clothesline
on Badstreet, more stalling. Armstrong
and Hayes, wristlock into a tag by Armstrong as Smothers locks in a side
headlock. Badstreet low-bridges Smothers and Big Daddy Dink lands a clothesline
while Badstreet lands a scoop slam. Smothers and Hayes are back in the ring,
left-hand from Hayes who knocks Smothers to the floor. Garvin stomps and stomps
Smothers who is trying to make it back into the ring.
Scoop slam and knee-drop by Garvin, Irish
whip into a knee to the ribs. Badstreet and Hayes put the boots to Smothers,
elbow to the back of the head. Sleeper from Hayes, Smothers fights out of the
sleeper but is drilled with a left-hand. Smothers meets the buckle, snap-mare
for two before Garvin locks in a reverse chin-lock. Garvin attacks Rhodes and
Armstrong so Badstreet can come in and attack Smothers, swinging neck-breaker
by Badstreet for two. Smothers counters with a sunset flip for two, tag to Hayes
who chops Smothers. Smothers fights back but again with the left hand to the
head, Hayes struts all around the ring. Smothers back-drops his way out of the
DDT, tag to Armstrong.
Back body drop by Armstrong, dropkicks
for the other members of The Freebirds. Noggin-knocker and pier-six brawl time.
Rhodes and Garvin are brawling, Double shoulder block to Badstreet, Armstrong
wants to unmask Badstreet but Hayes is in and clotheslines Armstrong. Double DDT
on Armstrong and this match is over for Steve Armstrong, we have our first
elimination but Hayes back-drops Smothers to the floor which is a DQ in WCW so
Michael Hayes has been eliminated for the back-drop to the floor. Badstreet in
there with Smothers now, scoop slam and diving axe handle from Badstreet. Smothers
reverses and makes the tag but Garvin had the referee distracted, Double DDT on
Smothers and it’s goodnight for Smothers. Garvin celebrates but eats a flying
clothesline and we are down to Rhodes vs Badstreet.
Diving axe handle by Badstreet, Rhodes
is sent to the buckle head-first. Snap-mare into an elbow drop, two for
Badstreet. Kick to the face, Rhodes stops Badstreet going up top. Scoop slam
and Badstreet is high but a fist to the ribs and a flying clothesline from
Rhodes. Big Daddy Dink distracts the referee so Badstreet can kick out,
Badstreet sends Rhodes to the buckle who explodes out with a Running Bulldog
and a kick to Big Daddy Dink for the win.
Best match of the night so far, not a
fan of the concept of elimination after elimination thick and fast, I think if
they are spaced out there can be more drama involved but nonetheless, this
match was fun. Not sure where we go from here for the two tag teams involved, I
have seen them wrestle for so long now. Give me something new please!
Winners: Team
Rhodes over The Fabulous Freebirds via Running Bulldog!
The Yellow Dog vs
Johnny B. Badd W/ Teddy Long
Flamboyant Johnny B. Badd is here and
his opponent is The Yellow Dog aka Brian Pillman in a mask because he lost the
Loser Leaves WCW match at the previous Clash. Badd’s first PPV appearance so
let’s see how Badd does with Pillman who was a rising star in the company also.
Dog slaps Badd, Badd comes back with a knee and a scoop slam. Dog lands a
massive dropkick and a chop, Badd rolls out to the floor. Side headlock by Dog,
crucifix into a victory roll for two. Badd is not happy, wristlock from Dog.
Eye-poke and clubbing blows from Badd, Irish whip but Dog avoids the scoop
slam. O’Connor roll does not work but Dog dropkicks Badd into Teddy Long. Badd
plays possum and lands a clothesline, Dog meets the guardrail and is the victim
of vicious kicks.
The two exchange chops, Dog misses a
middle rope diving crossbody and Badd goes for a diving sunset flip. Two for
Badd, Badd tries ripping at the mask but Dog counters with a jaw-breaker. Badd
misses a left-straight and Dog lands a German suplex, big chops from Dog.
Eye-rake and Irish whip by Badd, Dog lands a spinning heel kick, back body drop
by Dog. Dog lands a Diving Crossbody and Long attacks for the DQ!
Ok match, not a fan of the gimmick as
I feel it is out of place in 1991, works better in the territory days but why
do this to Pillman when Pillman was over like rover previous to this?
Winner: Yellow
Dog over Johnny B. Badd via DQ!
(Lumberjack
Match) Big Josh vs Black Blood
I saw vignettes for Black Blood but I
have no idea about the gimmick while Big Josh is a big Lumberjack played by
Matt Borne who would later play Doink. Black Blood is Billy Jack Haynes! Wow
that’s an interesting one, right hands before Big Josh is dumped to the floor
and beaten to death by the heels. Big Josh is helped by the babyfaces back in
this time, I still see JYD there. Big Josh fights back with a clothesline and
dropkick, the heels take care of Black Blood. Snap-mare before both men chop
one another many times, Big Josh trips up Black Blood and lands the log roll.
More back and forth, the lumberjacks are getting mad with one another. Lumberjacks
start brawling which gets a pop, Black Blood continues to land face-busters and
a leg drop. Josh boots Black Blood in the face, big right hands from Big Josh.
Irish whip and running chop, whip to the buckle. Black Blood boots Big Josh in
the face, another brawl on the floor. German suplex from Black Blood, Black
Blood has his axe. Dustin Rhodes smashes Black Blood in the leg and Big Josh cradles
for the win.
Shite match here, they work the
stipulation well but this stipulation is never going to be high on matches I
want to see, Dustin Rhodes attacking the knee of Black Blood for the win is
bizarre too, I suppose it was as good as they could hope for but not very
entertaining for me to watch.
Winner: Big Josh
over Black Blood via Small Package!
One Man Gang vs El
Gigante
Gigante comes to the rings with a
bunch of midgets, Sullivan looks like a grandad with his hair-style, make-up
and pyjama pants attire. Gigante does not have his mullet, what happened? They
shaved his head that’s what happened, One Man Gang powders. Hip-toss by Gigante,
shoulder thrusts by Gigante. One Man Gang avoids Gigante and lands a middle
rope diving clothesline, One Man Gang attacks Gigante with a foreign object.
Sullivan attacks Gigante for good measure from the outside, One Man Gang has
the object and works the knee of Gigante who sells poorly. Gigante is crawling
around the ring, will this end? Splash from One Man Gang but Gigante survives, hot-shot
from One Man Gang and he climbs to the top rope. Gigante yanks One Man Gang off
the top rope, elbow by Gigante. Whip to the buckle and suplex, Sullivan tries
to interfere but is crotched on the buckle. Gigante lands a noggin-knocker on
both, One Man Gang has powder. Gigante kicks it into the face of One Man Gang
and a Northern Lariat later, this is over. GARBAGE!
Winner: El
Gigante over One Man Gang via Northern Lariat!
(Russian Chain
Match) Nikita Koloff vs Sting
Obviously an odd one here as all
things pointed to Luger vs Nikita considering Nikita took out Luger when Luger
was presented with the new United States Championship but plans changed and now
Sting stands across from Nikita. They had a good match at the previous Clash
with Sting squeaking out a victory but this is the speciality of Koloff, the
chain is applied and Nikita starts talking that trash to the face of Sting.
Big boot from Nikita to start, Sting
fires back with boots and clubbing blows. Nikita meets the ring-post with his
shoulder, Sting drops Nikita on the guardrail twice at ringside. Sting sends
Nikita into the buckle over and over, Nikita rolls to the floor. Sting chokes
Nikita with the chain around ringside, Nikita is on the ramp but continue to
try and create distance from The Stinger. Ah yes, the Russian Chain Match where
you have to touch all four corners, a concept that never fails to deliver.
Nikita stops Sting from touching the corner, Sting is bounced off the
guardrail. Nikita lands a clothesline using the chain, Nikita ties it around
his fist and batters Sting across the neck and back. Sting grabs Nikita in the
ring but Nikita clubs down Sting, anything will do to maintain control.
Elbow drop with the chain by Nikita, Nikita
chokes the life out of Sting with the chain. Nikita tries an elbow drop but
Sting moves, right-hand from Sting. Sting yanks the chain through the nuts of
Nikita, Nikita low-blows Sting and goes to touch the corners, three corners for
Nikita. Sting kicks Nikita and breaks the progress, both men grapple one
another and they continue to touch the corners together. Low-blow by Nikita,
low-blow by Sting. Sting touches three corners but Nikita clubs down Sting and
a Russian Sickle. Both men have three corners but Sting lands a Stinger Splash
and it sends Nikita into the corner for the win.
Shockingly shite finish in a strap
match, who would have seen that coming? Anyways, all the heat that they had
built with the Superbrawl moment and the attacks on the previous Clash go to
waste because this match is worthless. Not a whole lot of pacing going on,
finish is lame.
Winner: Nikita
Koloff via Touching All 4 Corners!
(Vacant WCW World
Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match) Barry Windham vs Lex Luger
Interesting to have a battle between
two men for the WCW Championship when they are both regarded as having missed
out on the right moment to put the championships on them, Windham deserved the
championship due to his work in 1986 and 1987 while Lex Luger had arguably been
as popular as Sting and due to Flair’s promise to Sting, Luger never held that championship
when it could have been his time. These two never did feud over the United
States Championship that would have been perfect considering Windham stole
Luger’s place in The Horsemen. Things are very different now though, we want
Flair chants from the fans so this might be a disaster.
Luger seems to be heeling it up from
the get-go, Luger does not seem like his usual self here while Windham looks
ready to capture that championship. Shoulder block with neither man going down,
Luger blocks a suplex as does Windham. Clean break from both, shoulder block
from Windham but Luger answers with a hip-toss. Side headlock by Luger,
shoulder block by Luger. Windham catches Luger with a dropkick, small package
by Luger for one. Luger lands a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop, they slug
it out before resetting again. Windham and Luger trade a little wrestling holds
before Windham slaps the shit out of Luger, suplex by Luger though. Again, they
stop and reset.
Windham tries snapping the leg of
Luger, Luger avoids it. Very slow test of strength who kicks the leg of
Windham, Windham lands a shoulder block but Luger slaps on a sleeper. Windham
escapes and leapfrogs before slapping on the sleeper, Windham gets caught
before yanking Luger off the top rope. Knee-drop for two, Windham climbs high
and Luger eats a boot to the face. Windham misses the diving elbow drop, back
body drop and three clotheslines for two for Luger. Irish whip into an elbow
for two, Irish whip into the powerslam from Luger. Torture Rack from Luger,
Windham flips out using the ropes and lands a belly to back suplex. Luger
places Windham on the top rope, Windham avoids the superplex.
Windham is up high, diving clothesline
from Windham. Luger pops right back up, Irish whip into the back-body drop.
Windham measures and lands his Flying Lariat, scoop slam by Windham. Two for
Windham, Windham climbs up again and lands a missile dropkick for two. Harley
Race and Mr. Hughes are here, why? Windham is confused by this, Windham is
talking smack with Hughes. Luger knees Windham who was distracted and Luger
lands a piledriver for the win! New champion for the first time, Luger is WCW
World Heavyweight Champion.
That was such average as a match, it
is shocking. Utterly shocking that they put that together, it seemed like an
attempt from a company that has been utterly deflated by the loss of The Nature
Boy. The finish is such an odd one because nobody knows Luger has turned heel, Luger
did not even pull off anything heelish in there. The stops and starts really take
their toll, I understand the idea of pacing yourself in a championship match
from a kayfabe sense but the fans are sitting on their hands and chanting for
Flair. Nowhere near a championship calibre match, very disappointing.
Winner: Lex Luger
over Barry Windham via Piledriver!
(Mixed Tag Steel
Cage Match) Arn Anderson & Paul E. Dangerously vs Missy Hyatt & Rick
Steiner
What is this
match? Why is it the main event? Hyatt and Dangerously had been feuding but we
are going to have a steel cage match? Hyatt defeated Dangerously in an arm-wrestling
contest but this is a whole other ball game. Dirty Dick Slater and Dick Murdoch
kidnap Missy Hyatt. Rick Steiner is all alone against Anderson and Dangerously.
Not sure how that handicaps Rick Steiner in any way, makes things way easier
for Rick as he does not have to worry about Missy Hyatt. Rick powerslams
Anderson hard, Dangerously freaks out on the apron. Anderson knees Rick in the
spine, bearhug from Rick. Dangerously lands a diving axe handle on Rick, Anderson
has Dangerously’s boot. Anderson tries an axe handle, Rick clotheslines
Anderson before grabbing Dangerously. Scoop slam and Steiner-Line for the win.
Your main event boys and girls, what a joke.
Winner:
Team Hyatt over Team Dangerously via Steiner-Line!
That was WCW’s
Great American Bash 1991, an awful PPV up there with The Bunkhouse Stampede
1988 PPV and December to Dismember. This card was awful, we kick things off
with a tag team scaffold match that revolves around punches and kicks and not much
else before Eaton casually walks across and grabs the flag for the win.
Pointless stuff, things do not improve as Z-Man and Studd work a match with
little to no heat to it, just kept going and never felt like ending. That
feeling of will this garbage ever end continues as Oz and Ron Simmons stink up
the ring together. The card I thought would change when I saw Ricky Morton vs
Robert Gibson but the work leg goes far too long and by the time the finish
comes around, I had lost all interest in this match as had the crowd.
The Lumberjack
match was rough too, just brawling with little to no fun. Gigante vs One Man
Gang should never ever have been booked, that was horrific. Sting vs Koloff
does not deliver despite the great build they had, all of it pissed away in
this dull strap match and you world heavyweight championship match is so dull
and lifeless from a brilliant worker in Windham and a popular babyface in
Luger, it is so middle of the road and safe I just cannot imagine how a world
championship match in a cage was so boring but WCW shows me how it can be and
finally, a main event that goes 2 minutes because why not right? Top tier
terrible PPV, avoid this like the plague! Thanks for reading and remember:
there’s always another night!
