Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that asks the question: How big is Batista’s dick? It’s time for WCW Clash of The Champions X: Texas Shootout! With a big six-man steel cage main event and a bunch of other matches that are not all that interesting to me, it seems Clash of The Champions has returned to its half-assed glory but let’s see where we go from here.
Dr. Death vs The Samoan Savage W/ The Big Kahuna
Is Dr. Death meant to be an actual lifesaver now? What was the segment before this match? Death jumps on The Savage, massive clothesline. The Kahuna talks strategy with The Savage, Williams continues clubbing away and lands a right hand on The Savage. Big scoop slam, shoulder block and a chop-block from Williams. Savage throws Williams to the floor, Kahuna chokes Williams. Woman is here at ringside and my God she is beautiful with Kahuna talking with Woman. Williams cannot enter the ring as Savage attacks and chokes Williams. Reverse chin-lock from Savage, Williams fires up with elbows and shoulder blocks Savage. Savage retaliates with a powerslam for two, a shoulder claw from Savage.
Williams fires up once more, Williams elbows out and tries a sunset flip. Savage lands a throat thrust that Williams no-sells and clotheslines Savage for two. Williams misses an elbow-drop, Savage clamps on a chin-lock. Savage sends Williams to the floor again, Kahuna gets in a cheap-shot while Savage stomps all over Williams. Sidewalk slam by Savage, Savage misses the diving splash. Williams kicks Savage back, right hands by Williams. Military press slam from Williams, dropkick from Williams. Irish whip, Savage lands a kick. Hip-toss blocked for a backslide and Williams wins.
Nothing special, I think for his size and how explosive he can be I would have Williams higher up the card but seemingly, WCW was not seeing that but that’s fine because Williams went over to AJPW and kicked all sorts of ass so their loss really. Crowd seems into the match so that’s not too bad of a start.
Winner: Dr. Death Steve Williams over The Samoan Savage via Backslide!
The Mod Squad vs The Z-Man & Flyin’ Brian Pillman
This tag team does not even have matching gear, let’s go Mod Squad! All jokes aside, I am looking at 2 little Big Bossmans take on a rising star in Pillman and a start who they want to push in Z-Man. Spike and Pillman start, Pillman leapfrogs and dropkicks Spike. Pillman works the arm, tag to Zenk. Diving axe handle to the arm, Zenk works the arm with a nice slam. Basher comes in and gets chopped by Pillman, clubbing blows by Pillman. Pump kick and enzuigiri for two, Spike makes the save.
Zenk ducks a clothesline as Pillman lands a slingshot clothesline, double dropkicks and high-fives from this tag team. The Mod Squad powder and recuperate, Spike comes in and eats boots and chops. Spike sends Pillman to the corner and lands a face-buster, boot to the head and in comes Basher. Basher grinds Pillman into the mat, Zenk is not happy as the heels land a face-buster for two. Pillman is worked by Basher and Spike, boot from Spike before Basher comes in for two. Reverse chin-lock from Basher, Pillman fights back but Basher lands a knee. Spike comes in with a chin-lock, Pillman escapes but can’t make the tag.
Basher is caught in the crucifix for two, Spike makes the save. Scoop slam and Spike climbs high, Pillman dodges the elbow drop. Zenk gets the hot-tag, right hands by Zenk. Back body-drop and noggin-knocker, vintage tag team attacks. Basher sends Zenk to the corner, Zenk explodes out with a diving crossbody as Pillman takes down Spike. The new tag team pick up the win!
Basher almost fucked that finish but yes, this was very boring when all was said and done. Pillman is the smaller of the two but infinitely more entertaining than Zenk who seems like a lost-cause at this stage which does not seem to bode well for his career but maybe I will be wrong.
Winners: The Z-Man & Flyin’ Brian Pillman over The Mod Squad via Middle Rope Diving Crossbody!
Cactus Jack Manson vs Mil Mascaras
Mascaras is one of the most famous Mexican wrestlers of all-time, over in Japan and all around the world while this youngster Cactus Jack is a wild man lighting up the wrestling world with his madness. Mascaras ties up Cactus with Cactus screaming that he pulled my hair, head-scissors from Mascaras. Cactus is not happy, flying headbutt and dropkick from Mascaras. Cactus elbows Mascaras but Mascaras lands massive right hands, they lock-up. Boston crab from Mascaras, Cactus makes it to the ropes. Cactus manages to throw Mascaras to the floor, back-breaker onto the floor. Cactus wants the elbow drop, Mascaras runs into the ring and dropkicks Cactus onto the concrete. Suplex into the ring and Diving Crossbody for the win!
Terribly boring match, very stop and start kind of thing but at least we had an unbelievable bump in there that helped Cactus tremendously when it came to getting over, it was disgusting in terms of sight. That made me shake when I saw it, proper disgusting bump.
Mil Mascaras over Cactus Jack Manson via Diving Crossbody!
(Falls Count Anywhere Match) Kevin Sullivan vs Norman The Lunatic
Norman debuted as a heel, squashed some people and was fed to Pillman before being turned face and dressing as Santa etc. Now we have the evil Kevin Sullivan going up against Norman which seems incredibly one-sided. Norman’s tremendous gut is hanging out while Sullivan looks to be in great shape. Sullivan meets the ring-post, sunset flip does not work for Sullivan as Norman sits down. Whip to the buckle, Norman eats a boot. Scoop slam by Norman, middle rope splash misses. Dropkick from Sullivan, Sullivan rips the clothes and chops Norman. Belly to back suplex and cover for two, Sullivan continues clubbing Norman. Norman fights back after being attacked with a headbutt, Norman chokes the life out of Sullivan.
Sullivan is on the floor, clubbing blows. Guardrail stuff, two for Norman. Sullivan back-drops Norman for two, they brawl into the women’s restroom. Norman goes after Sullivan, lots of noise coming from the room and we have a winner off-screen. Norman won the match, we don’t see the screen.
The fuck is this garbage? An off-screen pin? A disgrace of a match! One of the worst I have seen in recent times, scrub this from my memories please!
Winner: Norman The Lunatic over Kevin Sullivan via Pin-Fall!
The Road Warriors W/ Paul Ellering vs The Skyscrapers 2.0 W/ Teddy Long
Sid was the best part of The Skyscrapers so to see him replaced breaks my heart because that means I still have to look at Dan Spivey. However, the replacement is one man I can respect and that is Mean Mark Callous who would later become The Undertaker. Poor WCW still have not figured out that The Road Warriors are much more fun against teams who can actually work and smaller guys like The Andersons and The Midnight Express.
Hawk and Spivey start, shoulder blocks and no movement before Spivey sends Hawk to the floor. Clothesline by Hawk, Callous allows Spivey to avoid the eck-breaker. Hawk ducks the clothesline and lands a flying shoulder tackle, Skyscrapers talk strategy. Animal comes in as does Callous, Cornette touts Callous as the hottest new prospect in wrestling. Yeah he was right there, spot on the ball from Dirty Dutch Mantell who sent the youngster to WCW. Shoulder block and nothing happens, Animal will not be moved. Clubbing blows from Callous, Animal avoids a flying shoulder tackle. Hawk comes in and misses a corner spear, shoulder-first goes Hawk’s shoulder. Spivey sends Hawk into the ring-post before Spivey rips at the arm inside of the ring. Tag to Callous, Callous stomps the arm.
Wristlock and Callous goes high, old-school variation from Callous. Arm-bar, Hawk starts firing off with his other arm, Callous blocks the clothesline with a Fujiwara arm-bar. Callous goes high again for old-school, Hawk reverses and throws Callous across the ring. Animal gets the hot-tag, dropkicks all around. Irish whip and powerslam, Animal lands an elbow drop with Callous coming in for the double team. Animal flips out of the belly to back and clotheslines The Skyscrapers, Callous is knocked to the floor. Clothesline to Spivey, Doomsday Device connects. Callous has a chair, Animal is cracked on the back and Spivey is on top but it doesn’t matter as the referee is gone? I think The Road Warriors win by DQ. After the match, The Skyscrapers leave The Road Warriors laying.
A promising angle, nobody ever leaves The Road Warriors laying but the in-ring work is not great, Spivey is woeful while Callous is a great improvement. Disappointingly, it is the same type of match that is always worked by The Road Warriors, I have seen Hawk miss that ring-post so many times I just would like some variation on the tag formula from The Road Warriors.
Winners: The Road Warriors over The Skyscrapers via DQ!
(NWA World Tag Team Championship vs Masks Match) The Steiner Brothers © vs Doom
Simmons and Scott to start, clean breaks all around. Shoulder block by Simmons, Scott lands a powerslam. Knees to the head and a scramble, hard to escape from Scott. Simmons is sent to the corner and German suplexed to death, Reed tags into the match. Reed talks massive amounts of shit, clubbing blows to the chest from Reed. Shoulder block by Scott does nothing but dropkicks work with Rick itching to get into the match. Reed almost loses his mask, Scott tags in Rick. Rick is fired up and ready to go, Reed is cautious. Reed takes control briefly before a back body-drop from Rick, massive big right hands. Another mask-ripping attempt, belly to belly suplex from Rick. Simmons tags in Reed again, tag to Scott.
Scott sends Reed to the corner, clean break from Scott. Reed lands big rights, tag to Simmons. Clubbing blows from Doom, headbutt by Simmons. Scott escapes the slam but the O’Connor roll does not work as Reed waffles Scott with a clothesline. Scoop slam and leg drop from Simmons, Scott is beaten down by Doom. Simmons chokes Scott, Scott tries fighting back before a double back body-drop. Backslide by Scott for two, Reed retakes control. Piledriver from Reed for two, Scott is on the floor. Sunset flip from Scott for two, Reed stops the tag and lands a neck-breaker for two. Reed gets reversed and eats a Frankensteiner, tag to Rick.
Clubbing blows by Rick, atomic drop and a Steinerline. Reed is bounced around with a powerslam, Steinerline on Simmons. Rick rips at the mask, Reed fights back. Side headlock by Rick, the mask is off. Butch Reed has been unmasked, Reed is traumatized as Simmons looks on, O’Connor roll by Rick for the win.
Decent match, every time I see Rick and Scott in there throwing dudes around, I get excited because they are so young and have so much energy and it’s awesome, I like Simmons and I like Reed in the tag setting but I want to see some new blood in this tag division. These masks were garbage so the reveal sucks to be honest, let’s see where both teams go from here.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers over Doom via O’Connor Roll!
(Six-Man Steel Cage Match) The Horsemen vs The Great Muta/Buzz Sawyer/The Dragonmaster
All that matters is the angle before which was Sting was kicked out of The Horsemen because Sting defeated Flair at Starrcade and was set to challenge for the world championship. The remnants of The J-Tex Corporation take on The Horsemen, seems rather odd but I guess we needed to pay this off someway with Muta still being a champion at this point. Sawyer is insane, here comes The Horsemen.
Arn and Sawyer, biting and chops. Nice to see Arn back, Sawyer dives into the cage as Arn ducks, boot by Sawyer and we have babyfaces in Muta’s team. Flair interferes to help Arn, Sawyer headbutts Arn before Sawyer smashes his head off the cage as Arn dodged. Tag to Flair, Sawyer and Flair trade blows. Sawyer drags Flair to the corner, in comes Dragonmaster. In comes Ole, more brawling with Ole asking for forgiveness as Dragonmaster tees off and in comes Muta with Arn. Muta calls for death, handspring elbow with Arn flopping around. Muta-Lock, Sting is here on the cage, security is trying to pull down Sting. Sting is pulled down and livid, the match continues but it is secondary to everything.
Sawyer is back-dropped into the cage, Sting scrambles again. Sawyer suplexes Arn, Sting is hobbling and we are in serious trouble territory. Sawyer misses a splash off the top of the cage, Arn lands a spinebuster on Dragonmaster and we have a brawl with everyone in the ring. Dragonmaster meets the cage and is drilled with a DDT for the finish.
Shit cage match, anti-climatic as it could possibly be and we have a ruined WCW with Sting being legitimately injured and scrapping the plans for the big title change. What a clusterfuck!
Winners: Team Horsemen over Team Sawyer via DDT!
Clash of The Champions X was uneventful like many of the clashes at this point with a terrible main event but the ramifications of this show were massive. This was going to be Sting vs Flair, the big moment with The Horsemen turning on Sting and we were going to see the beginning of a new era but it is not going to happen. Sting has messed up his leg and while Sting will win the championship in the same calendar year, the impact would not be the same and that would spell disaster for WCW. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!