Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that loves itself a bit of Scott Stanford. The final pay per view of 2005, we have WWE’s Armageddon of 2005. A Smackdown exclusive headline by a Hell in a Cell match between Randy Orton and The Undertaker which will bring an end to their almost year long feud. We also have champions vs champions when Rey Mysterio and Batista battle Kane & The Big Show in what should be a good undercard match. Benoit vs Booker in a continuation of their best of seven series for the United States Championship and JBL faces off against Matt Hardy. Smackdown was hurting with the loss of Eddie, they were always second best but could they finish the year on a high? Let’s find out!
Orton believed he had killed The Deadman, silly Orton did not know that Undertaker lays down for nobody. Orton had been on the run from Taker since the return of Taker at Survivor Series. The whole promo package is about this match, good stuff I must say. However, it could be setting the tone of the show with the only match mattering to be Taker vs Orton.
JBL W/ Jillian Hall vs Matt Hardy
JBL interrupted a Hardy interview, they brawled for a bit and the match was made for Armageddon. JBL insults the crowd like the asshole he is, Hardy attacks JBL through the crowd. Hardy rams JBL into the apron, JBL ties up Hardy in the ropes. Hardy is being choked by the ropes, JBL tightens the ropes and pummels Hardy. Hardy collapses to the floor, clothesline on the floor by JBL. In the ring, JBL throws bomb at Hardy. Boots to the head and elbows by JBL, clubbing blows to the back by JBL.
Hardy slides out of a scoop slam, DDT for two. Shoulder block and kick to the spine by JBL, low big boot by JBL. Eye poke by JBL, right hands by JBL. Hardy is placed on the top rope, Hardy elbows down JBL. Moonsault on JBL for two, JBL exposes the top turnbuckle. Rights and lefts by Hardy, eye poke by JBL. Irish whip to exposed turnbuckle, corner clothesline and a Clothesline From Hell for the win.
Solid and simple match, I have been impressed by both men since Summerslam. I do not agree with the booking of Hardy especially the kick-off to his feud with Edge but Matt seems motivated and tells an interesting story every time he is in the ring. Meanwhile, JBL is no longer a chickenshit running from everything, he is a loudmouth bully who is beating down on smaller talent, it’s hard not to like. Liked the rope spot, it was clever and not been done in ages, Hardy sold it wonderfully and it played into the finish, a good start to the show.
Winner: JBL over Matt Hardy via Clothesline From Hell!
Melina & The Mexicools
The Mexicools walk up to Melina and talk about cancelling the match, Melina is most pleased until she realizes The Mexicools will only cancel the match if Melina charms the two Mexicools like she did with Batista.
MNM W/ Melina vs The Mexicools
MNM lost the championships to Batista & Rey Mysterio, they look to bounce back against The Mexicools, I did not think The Mexicools had more than one pay per view appearance but here they are. Side headlock from Mercury, Psicosis avoids an elbow before a stomp from Nitro. Nitro is in, eats two armdrags and tags out to Mercury. Mercury tags in Nitro, forearms by Nitro. Psicosis misses a leg drop in the corner, Mercury tags in but misses a double axe handle. Spinning wheel kick by Psicosis, plancha to the floor. Super Crazy takes out MNM with a tope con hilo. Roll-through slam by The Mexicools, Melina crotches Psicosis on the top rope. Snapmare and neckbreaker by Mercury, tag to Nitro. Slingshot elbow for two, Psicosis fights back with a sunset flip.
Nitro tags Mercury mid-flip and Mercury stomps and clotheslines Psicosis. Psicosis fights off MNM, Mercury drags back Psicosis to his corner. Hip hop leg drop by Nitro for two, front chancery by Nitro. Cheap shot to Super Crazy, Psicosis back drops Nitro but there is nobody to tag. Back suplex by Nitro for two, mounted punches by Nitro. Armdrag escape by Psicosis, Nitro spears Psicosis into the corner. Scoop slam by Mercury, Psicosis nails an enzuigiri on Mercury. Tag to Super Crazy, Mercury is rammed into Nitro. Standing dropkicks, Super Crazy armdrags Nitro. Tornado DDT on Mercury, Nitro saves the match. Crossbody by Psicosis on MNM, Nitro slams Psicosis into the barricade. Melina distracts Super Crazy, Super Crazy shoves off Melina.
Moonsault by Super Crazy, Nitro saves his partner. Super Crazy gets caught though by the double team of MNM, one Snapshot later and we have winners in MNM.
I did not like it too much, it was sloppy and choppy in parts. Maybe some communication issues, maybe a bad night but I felt there was more wrong than right in this match. What makes me most happy is The Mexicools getting a pay per view payday.
Winners: MNM over Mexicools via Snapshot!
(Best of Seven Series Match for United States Championship) Chris Benoit vs Booker T (Match 4)
Booker had been dominating the series between the two, Booker is up 3:0 with it looking like Benoit has no answer to Booker’s ace which is his wife Sharmell who constantly interferes causing Benoit to lose his matches to Booker. Sharmell is carrying a broom for the clean sweep, fantastic. Lock-up, clean break from Benoit. Booker takes a breather, large chants for Benoit. Booker backs Benoit into the corner, clean break from a confident Booker. Knees by Booker, Benoit ducks a kick. Chop that floors Booker, waistlock by Booker. Benoit wriggles free, Booker applies a hammerlock to wear down Benoit. Benoit escapes and counters for a Crossface, Booker reaches the ropes and slips out.
Dragon screw leg whip by Benoit, Sharpshooter is blocked by Booker. Benoit rams Booker into the corner, dragon screw leg whip by Benoit. Leg lock by Benoit, deathlock by Benoit. Booker rakes the eyes, knees in the corner by Booker. Back elbow by Booker, Benoit chops back at Booker. Knees by Booker, suplex by Booker. Two for Booker, Benoit reverses an apron suplex for a German release suplex. Two for Benoit, scoop slam by Benoit. Booker dodges an elbow from Benoit, Benoit clutches the elbow in pain. Booker hangs Benoit across the top rope, knee to the floor by Booker. Chop war on the floor, Benoit is flung into the ringpost. Snapmare and dropkick by Booker for two. Abdominal stretch by Booker, Benoit hiptosses out of the hold. Double clothesline, it is a malfunction at the junction.
German suplex by Benoit, belly to belly suplex by Benoit. Three Amigos from Benoit for two, three German suplexes. Benoit is on the top rope, Sharmell distracts with the broom. Booker has Benoit on the top rope, Benoit crashes and burns on the canvas with a suplex from Booker. Missile dropkick for two, Benoit chops back at Booker. Superkick by Booker, Sharmell low blows Benoit. Scissors Kick by Booker, 1….2….. Benoit kicks out! Book-End is countered for a Crossface, Booker edges towards the ropes and reaches the ropes. Three German suplexes by Benoit, Diving Headbutt by Benoit.
Two for Benoit, Benoit goes for The Crossface. Booker rolls through, knocking out the referee with his legs. Sharpshooter with Booker tapping, Sharmell has the broom. No effect on Benoit. Booker clubs Benoit, Sharmell leaves the ring. Book-End is countered for a massive DDT, Crossface by Benoit and Booker has no choice but to tap out with Chris Benoit scoring a huge win.
Good match from Benoit and Booker, thought the middle section was a bit flat for such a heated match with the crowd playing their part but the ending stretch was a lot of fun. The crowd hated Sharmell and loved Benoit, all you could hope for in this kind of match.
Winner: Chris Benoit over Booker T via Crossface!
Boogeyman & Santa Claus
Boogeyman takes out Santa Claus AKA Vito while Nunzio is not safe either. It was grand but blatantly filler.
(Handicap Match) Paul Burchill & William Regal vs Bobby Lashley
Lashley is Smackdown’s monster, Lashley mows down Regal and Burchill who is not yet a pirate. Regal boots Lashley from the apron, Burchill shoves Lashley to the floor. Lashley is sent back first into the ringpost, Burchill works the back with sentons and elbows, reverse chinlock by Burchill. Lashley shakes off Burchill, tag to Regal. Regal works the back with forearms, exploder suplex by Regal. Tag to Burchill, knee drop from the top rope for two. Regal tags in, belly to belly suplex by Lashley. Burchill is in, suplexes for Burchill. Regal eats a powerslam, flapjack to Burchill. Dominator, goodnight. Squash, DUD!
Winner: Bobby Lashley over William Regal & Paul Burchill via Dominator!
(WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match) Juventud Guerrera © vs Kid Kash
What an odd match, we have Kid Kash vs Juventud. One an ECW star and one a WCW star that I would never think would have made it to the WWE but they did, it’s weird to see to be honest. Anyways, Juventud, goes after Kash, dropkick, headscissors and clotheslines by Juvi. Two for Juvi, Fujiwara armbar by The Juice. Juvi elevates Kash to the floor, plancha. Kash sends Juvi into the ringpost shoulder first, Kash works over the arm. Hammerlock scoop slam for two, kicks and clubs to the arm by Kash. Armbar by the challenger, Juvi is sent shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Juvi chops back before Kash goes to the arm. Corner clothesline by Juvi, forearms by Juvi.
Kash kicks the arm of Juvi, scoop slam for two. Juvi fights back, Kash scoop slams Juvi. Juvi blocks a moonsault with his knees, chops by Juvi. Back elbow, clotheslines by Juvi. Kick to the head by Juvi for two, Kash is on the top rope. Juvi crotches Kash, top rope hurricanrana. Two for Juvi, enzuigiri by Juvi for two. Northern lights suplex, Kash dodges The Juvi Driver. Juvi avoids Dead Level, Juvi Driver for two! Kash dodges a top rope somersault, Dead Levele and Kash is your new champion.
Armwork went nowhere, rendered most of the match pointless. Not a fan of a match that is done for no reason, at least Kash made it to WWE. Juventud would not last too much longer in the company due to his backstage attitude and overall being a dickhead. That makes it much more fun to see him spiked on his head.
Winner: Kid Kash over Juventud via Dead Level!
Rey Mysterio & Batista vs Kane & The Big Show
Kane & Big Show had beaten the piss out of Mysterio and Batista in the run-up to Survivor Series and continued their war after Survivor Series. Batista would save Mysterio from a beatdown which would lead to this match. Show and Batista to begin the match, Show shoves down Batista. Show does it again, elbow by Show. Batista tees off on Show, clothesline which does not knock Show. Show throws Batista into the corner, boot by Batista. Shoulder block that floors Show for two, Chokeslam attempt by Show. Batista wriggles free but eats a superkick. Right hands by Kane, Batista suplexes Kane. Sidewalk slam by Kane, Kane is on the top rope. Batista yanks Kane on the top rope, Mysterio is in the match.
Leg drops by Mysterio, kicks have no effect on Kane. Ten punches in the corner, axe handle by Mysterio. Springboard but Kane catches Mysterio, springboard dropkick to Kane. Kane rolls to the floor, clothesline by Batista. Mysterio dropkicks Kane, Mysterio runs for a 619. Show trips Mysterio, Show throws Mysterio into the ringpost. Mysterio is pressed into the ring, Kane clubs down Mysterio. Tag to Show, huge slap by Show. Tag to Kane, Mysterio fights back before Kane catches Mysterio.
Mysterio jawbreakers Kane, Show cheap shots Batista. Batista is pissed, shoulder blocks to Show. Spear to Kane, Mysterio kicks Kane and Show. Spinebuster to Kane, Batista and Show spill over the announce table. Dropkick by Mysterio, 619. Kane counters the West Coast Pop for a Chokeslam and this match is over.
Solid tag team match, nothing special though. Did not expect the Raw guys to walk away the winners over the Smackdown guys. It is disappointing in the sense that you could feel the crowd wanted more from this match, they wanted something that could steal the show but it seemed all the focus on this night was on what was next: The Hell in a Cell match.
Winners: Kane & The Big Show over Batista & Rey Mysterio via Chokeslam!
(Hell in a Cell Match) Randy Orton W/ Bob Orton vs The Undertaker
For most of the year, these two feuded with each man gaining a victory over the other. Taker at Wrestlemania, Orton at Summerslam. Orton tried killing The Deadman but like always, Taker came back stronger than ever. They settle their feud tonight inside a structure made famous by Undertaker. Side headlock by Taker, shoulder block by Taker. Hiptoss and dropkick by Orton, two for Orton. Back body drop by Orton, Taker answers with a big boot. Orton is thrown to the floor, right hands and headbutts by Taker. Orton slips out of snake eyes, right hands by Orton in the ring. Taker grabs Orton, right hands by The Deadman. Orton is pulled stomach first into the ringpost. Taker stomps all over Orton, Taker waffles Orton with a chair shot to the head.
Orton is bleeding everywhere, chair shots to the mid-section and head by Taker. Orton is scraped off the cell wall, Orton has a chain in his hand. Taker chokes Orton with a huge chain. Taker lawn darts Orton into the cell wall, Taker has the steel steps. Orton dodges the steel steps, right hands and stomps by Orton. Orton has the steel steps, Taker boots the steps out of Orton’s hands. Orton hotshots Taker who falls to the floor, Orton rams up the aggressiveness levels. Stomps and right hands to Taker, steel steps to the head by The Legend Killer. Taker is scraped off the cell wall, Orton chokes Taker with a chain. Taker is bleeding like Orton, chair shot to the head by Orton for two.
Orton is thrown into the cell wall, Taker nails Orton with a running high knee. Scoop slam by Taker, Taker is on the top rope. Taker misses an elbow drop, Orton has a table. Uppercuts by Orton, Orton pummels away on Taker. Taker boots Orton, Bob Orton gets caught by Taker. Boots follow, Taker is in control. Bob Orton is bleeding, Orton powerslams Taker into the cell wall. Two for Orton, uppercuts by Orton. Leaping clothesline by Taker for two, Old School. Complete shot by Taker for two, snake eyes and big boot. Leg drop for two, Chokeslam by The Phenom. Orton uses the ropes for a rope break, should that be allowed? Corner knee by Taker, Orton avoids the second boot. Chain to the balls by Orton, clubbing blows by Orton.
Orton has Taker on the table, splash through the table by Orton. Orton gets a two, Orton has Taker for ten punches in the corner. Last Ride is blocked, the referee is decked. Taker looks for a Chokeslam as Orton counters for an RKO! Cover but no referee, Nick Patrick is bleeding now. The door is open to check on the referee, Bob Orton is in the ring. Taker sits-up, boots by Taker. Last Ride, Bob Orton cracks the referee. Taker beats down Bob Orton, Tombstone is reversed by Orton. Tombstone by Orton, 1…2.. Taker sits-up! Orton beats down Taker, Orton celebrates before a hand reaches for his throat. Bob tries saving Orton, Taker boots and clobbers both Ortons with the urn. Tombstone for Bob and Tombstone for Randy, this is over!
It was a good match, there was so much emphasis placed on the match by the layout and structure of the rest of the card, it had to be good. Thankfully, it was good! There were some nice elements to it with Orton being terrified to be locked in the cage with Taker, Taker closing the cage door behind him. Most importantly, it was a cage match for a blow-off to a feud, it was not a cage match because it was October and the Hell in a Cell pay per view. Anyways, it was violent and fun, Taker getting his hands on Orton. Orton, cracking at the sight of blood on his face, both men pushing to their limits. The magic of The Deadman, the mystique and the things that only Taker can get away with like no-selling The RKO and sitting up the multiple times. It was a lot of fun, not a great all-time classic but very good with an end that maybe could have done more for Legend Killer had Orton won this match.
Winner: The Undertaker over Randy Orton via Tombstone Piledriver!
That was WWE’s Armageddon of 2005, an average end to the year for Smackdown. It was like New Year’s Revolution for Raw, it was a one match show. Everything was secondary in comparison and Smackdown was paper thin in terms of all-around star quality which leads to squash matches on shows like this, it is not disappointing but it leaves you wanting more. You feel like you could skip everything until the main event. So I say just watch this for the end of Taker vs Orton, thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!