Hello and welcome to another
ball-busting edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling
review series on the internet that has is a bigger Greek tragedy than Shibata’s
career. ECW’s Living Dangerously 1998, a pay per view built around The Beast in
The East Bam Bam Bigelow taking on The Human Suplex Machine Taz. We also have
The Triple Threat coming to blows as Lance Storm battles Shane Douglas and
Chris Candido. Sandman vs Sabu is a rematch that I am really not looking
forward to but unfortunately I am not booking this company. Paul E. Dangerously
is booking this company and with the help of God, Paul E. will be able to pull
off a guard that is entertaining and not frustrating as I really do not want to
tear out chunks of my hair.
The
FBI vs Chris Chetti & Jerry Lynn
The ultimate opening act are here as
The FBI are battling a green as goose shit Chris Chetti complete with no
gimmick only that he is a graduate of The House of Hardcore and a Jerry Lynn
yet to define himself and make a mark in ECW. Lynn without a beard is the
strangest thing, Chetti and Guido begin the match. Lock-up, Chetti spinning
heel kicks Guido who is do busy dancing, Guido rakes the eyes which brings in
Smothers, Smothers eats a massive fist from Chetti. Tag to Lynn who nails a
double axe handle, chops by Lynn. Sunset flip out of the corner for two,
crossbody from the middle rope for two. Chetti and Lynn dropkick The FBI.
Lynn planchas onto The FBI, Chetti
nails a springboard clothesline. Rich cheap shots Chetti to give The FBI
control, Rich puts the boots to Chetti. Double chop and elbow for two, knee
drop by Guido. Guido smashes Chetti off Smothers’ boot, delayed suplex by
Smothers. Smothers suplexes Guido on Chetti for two, Chetti fights back at
Guido. Guido rakes the eyes and tags Smothers, Smothers clotheslines Chetti for
two. Tag to Guido, double shoulder block for two. Chetti sunset flips Smothers,
Rich distracts the referee. Dropkick by Smothers, Chetti fires back at
Smothers. Smothers boots down Chetti, Smothers rams Chetti off his knee.
Chetti nails a double jump leg lariat
after reversing an Irish whip, Chetti nails Guido and Smothers with a leg drop,
tag to Lynn. Dropkicks all around, headscissors by Lynn. Spinning reverse elbow
to Guido, Rich is waffled. Lynn nails a double DDT, leg lariat by Smothers.
Rich nails Smothers with the Italian flag by mistake and Lynn covers jacknife
style for the win.
Solid opening match, Lynn and Chetti
may have been bland in terms of character development but there was some solid
teamwork from Smothers and Guido. The two could be an entertaining team given
the chance, one of the best opening matches that I have seen from ECW on pay
per view. The card usually falls apart after one match so do not be surprised
if I become the most negative person on the planet following this match.
Winners:
Jerry Lynn & Chris Chetti over The FBI via Jacknife Cover!
Doug Furnas W/ Lance Wright vs Masato Tanaka
FMW’s Tanaka and Kanemaru were supposed to do battle on pay
per view, something happened with Kanemaru which leads us to Furnas vs Tanaka
inside of that ring. Furnas should be no stranger to the Japanese style being a
regular in All Japan and taking part in the 1992 match of the year against
Kenta Kobashi and Tsuyoshi Kikuchi. This is part of the ECW vs WWF storyline
feud based on Wright’s pre-match speech. I had no idea they were still trying
this crap, Tanaka kicks and dropkicks Furnas who responds with a powerslam.
Furnas kicks and stomps Tanaka, dropkick by Furnas.
More kicks, Tanaka nails a dragon screw leg whip and applies
a figure four leglock. Furnas escapes so Tanaka drills Furnas with elbows,
lariat for two. Swinging DDT for two, death valley driver by Tanaka for two.
Furnas forgets to lift Tanaka so Furnas delivers a Ganso Bomb on Tanaka. German
suplex by Furnas, frankensteiner by Furnas. Wright does not want Furnas to win
the match, elbows and roaring elbow as flat as fuck for the finish.
Not the most impressive showing for Tanaka, this was very
unlucky and you can tell from the reaction of Tanaka that he knew he did not
nail it on this night. Luckily for Tanaka, Tanaka would come back to ECW
bringing his feud with Mike Awesome along with him which leads to a world
championship run. However, on this night Tanaka had a stinker along with Furnas
who did little to help put over Tanaka on this night, they were on two very
different pages for this match.
Winner:
Masato Tanaka over Doug Furnas via Roaring Elbow!
Rob Van Dam vs 2 Cold Scorpio
RVD is still a heel while Scorpio has reverted back to his
old self as this is not the WWF, Flash Funk does not exist in the land of
extreme. In all seriousness, this should be a quality match between two
absolute athletic freaks. Lock-up with a waistlock from Scorpio, RVD counters
into a nice armwringer. Scorpio trips RVD, RVD grabs onto the ropes. Hammerlock
from RVD, Scorpio counters with a snapmare but RVD lands on his feet.
Hammerlock by RVD, Scorpio flips over, nice theatrics before Scorpio nails a
dropkick with RVD dropping to the floor.
Test of strength, RVD and Scorpio bridge out of difficult
positions before Scorpio flips out of
RVD’s monkey flip. Scorpio sends RVD to the floor and into the guard rail, RVD
is sent into the guard rail twice. Chops and right hands by Scorpio, RVD boots
Scorpio. Scorpio dodges a moonsault and thrust kick to drop RVD throat first
across the guard rail. Kick to the face by Scorpio, splash against the guard
rail. RVD is the quickest up, chair to the back of Scorpio. Scorpio meets the
guard rail, slingshot leg drop by RVD for two. Scorpio spears RVD to the
corner, running spinning heel kick by RVD. Diving spinning heel kick by RVD,
two for Mr. Monday Night.
Rolling thunder by RVD for two, heel kick to the face by
Scorpio. RVD blocks the second, corkscrew leg drop for two. RVD misses a corner
splash, right hands by Scorpio. Powerbomb by Scorpio, somersault leg drop by
Scorpio. Slingshot hilo by Scorpio, Scorpio signals for a 450 splash. Leg drop
by Scorpio, back suplex by Scorpio. Turning Splash by Scorpio for two,
moonsault by Scorpio for two. Scorpio places RVD on the top turnbuckle, RVD
slaps down Scorpio. Five Star Frog Splash does not connect as Scorpio block
with his knees, leg lariat by Scorpio. Scoop slam, somersault leg drop from the
middle rope for two.
Scorpio misses a splash in the corner, diving thrust kick by
RVD. Split-legged moonsault for two, hurricanrana by RVD. Spinning sole butt
drops Scorpio to the floor, RVD nails Scorpio with a superkick and rams Scorpio
into the ringpost. Vam Damanator from RVD, Scorpio piledrivers RVD on the ramp.
Scorpio piledrivers RVD twice, RVD is dragged back to the ring. Low blow by
RVD, right hands by RVD. Scorpio kicks RVD into the referee and Scorpio splashes
the referee by mistake. Huge boot by RVD, RVD misses a 450 splash. Scorpio
powerbombs RVD, Scorpio climbs to the top rope. 450 Splash by Scorpio, Arabian
Facebuster by Sabu who lays out Scorpio.
Scorpio kicks out! The Sandman chases Sabu, it looks like
this match is turning to utter chaos. Spinning kick from Scorpio to the face of
RVD, despite that though, the match comes to an end with RVD rolling up Scorpio
out of nothing countering an Irish whip into a victory roll.
What the fuck was this match? I enjoyed the start of the
match with the two feeling one another out, it had a feel of two people who
were similar in styles and it had the big fight feel between these two athletic
freaks. What was the interference though? It did not even lead to the finish?
Why do we need a referee bump in ECW? Is there even disqualifications when
everyone is using chairs and tables? Also, the finish came off like they wanted
this passing of the torch moment that RVD outwrestled Scorpio but how can that
be when you fucked up that story with shitty wrestling inside of the ring and
RVD using interference from Sabu? Simple answer is you don’t, you are
contradicting yourself with this finish. Fucking ECW is getting on my nerves
just like Russo.
Winner: Rob
Van Dam over Scorpio via Roll-Up!
The Dudley Boyz vs Spike Dudley & New Jazz vs The
Hardcore Swingin- Freaks
Rotten and Mahoney brawl with The Dudleys, Bubba sends
Mahoney to the floor. Rotten and D-Von are in the ring, hiptoss by Rotten.
Armdrag by Rotten, hiptoss by D-Von. Clothesline by Rotten, D-Von spills out to
the floor. Bubba hammers away on Mahoney, superkick by Mahoney. Mahoney misses
a top rope leg drop, Bubba has a chair. Mahoney takes a shot to the head, Big
Dick Chokeslams Rotten. New Jack’s music hits, New Jack and Spike nails D-Von
and Bubba with weapons. Bubba is choked by Spike while New Jack hits D-Von with
thirty two weapons. Spike drills Bubba with a hurricanrana, Mahoney is waffled
with a frying pan.
Mahoney is bleeding as is Rotten, Mahoney and Rotten drill
The Dudleys with chairs. D-Von takes a crutch to the nuts, everyone is spilling
out into the crowd. Mahoney and Rotten place The Dudleys on tables as Spike and
New Jack climb the balcony above where the tables are, New Jack and Spike dive
and drive the two Dudleys through the tables. Ouch, that looked like a tonne of
pain. Mahoney brings Spike back to the ring, back suplex by Mahoney. Mahoney
has a table, Spike is on the table. Spike tornado DDTs through the table, The
Dudleys are up after the splashes. Spike is dropped onto Rotten at ringside, 3D
on Mahoney and Mahoney & Rotten are eliminated. New Jack and Spike drills
The Dudleys with guitars, Acid Drop by Spike and a Diving 187 Splash from New
Jack for the win.
Any semblance of a match was lost the second New Jack’s music
hits, New Jack represents the worst of ECW as it is all just weapon shots, no
reason to watch the match. Just a tonne of brawling, Dudleys are being wasted.
A team that is hated by everyone in attendance yet they are being wasted in
three man elimination matches.
Winners:
New Jack & Spike Dudley over Everyone Else via 187 Splash!
Justin Credible W/ Jason & Nicole Bass vs Tommy Dreamer
Jenna Jameson, a famous pornstar who had appeared beside The
Dudleys tries for an interview with Credible, Credible blows her off so Dreamer
interrupts and kisses Jameson before back dropping Credible. Jason attacks
Dreamer to save Credible, plancha from Dreamer. Dreamer whips Credible into the
crowd and we have more crowd brawling, we come back ringside and Credible drops
Dreamer on the guard rail. Dreamer is thrown back into the ring, Credible runs
into Dreamer and eats a fallaway slam. Dreamer is given a chair and dropkicks
the chair into Credible’s face. Scoop slam by Dreamer, Dreamer misses a frog
splash. Low dropkick by Credible, Credible drop toeholds Dreamer onto a chair
Raven style.
Credible wedges a chair in between turnbuckles, chops by
Dreamer. Russian legsweep by Dreamer, Credible counters Dreamer by sending
Dreamer into the wedged chair. Reverse DDT on a chair, mounted punches by
Credible. Credible grabs a chair and climbs to the top rope, Dreamer blocks
Credible with a boot. Credible eats a Spiccoli Driver, Credible no-sells to
nail That’s Incredible. Beulah is here, she is smiling on her way to the ring.
Beulah low blows Credible and Jason. DDT on Jason, Nicole Bass has Beulah.
Bearhug by Bass, Mikey Whipwreck nails Bass with a Whippersnapper. Credible smacks
Whipwreck with a crutch but Dreamer nails a DDT for the win.
Well, Styles is right when he calls this match a wild one.
Another match filled with interference which takes away from the match as a
whole. Credible is nowhere near the man they needed Credible to be, Credible
was just boring inside of that ring, too much pandering and it saddens me to
think that I am going to have to get used to seeing a whole lot more of
Credible as these reviews continue, boring match and if the WWF vs ECW feud was
still going, I cannot help but feel that Dreamer should be battling the likes
of RVD, Furnas and Sabu.
Winner:
Tommy Dreamer over Justin Credible via DDT!
(ECW Television Championship Match) Taz © vs Bam Bam Bigelow
Taz wants to be world champion, Taz wants to destroy Shane
Douglas. Taz had an ally in Bigelow but Bigelow double-crossed Taz to re-join
the Triple Threat, Taz wants revenge for Bigelow’s betrayal. Stare-down, Taz
shoots for a Fujiwara armbar. Bigelow reaches the ropes, hiptoss by Taz.
Bigelow is sent to the floor, Taz tries an apron double axe handle but Bigelow
catches Taz and sends Taz into the ringpost and guard rail. Powerbomb by
Bigelow for two, corner splash from the challenger. Bigelow threatens the
referee, Taz elevates Bigelow to the ramp. The two are brawling on the ramp,
Taz exploder Tazplexes Bigelow into the crowd.
Bigelow gains control in the crowd, clothesline back to
ringside. DDT from Bigelow, moonsault by Bigelow for two. Bigelow has a table,
headbutt from Bigelow. Bigelow wants a powerbomb, Taz fights out and flapjacks
Bigelow through the table. Bigelow kicks out and the two battle on the floor,
Taz smacks a table through Bigelow’s face. Taz is sent into the ring apron,
chair across the back. Low blow and Taz sends Bigelow into the crowd, a lot of
brawling on the floor. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered for a
Tazmission, Taz is on Bigelow’s back but Bigelow throws himself backward and
the two crash through the ring. Bigelow crawls out and Taz is pulled out and
pinned by Bigelow.
Disappointed by this match, a lot of brawling that went
nowhere, these two had a reason to hate one another. I expected a lot of fire
for this match but it was rather flat, you had a big spot in the exploder
suplex into the crowd and the ring collapsing but everything in between was
nothing to write home about. Bigelow did have a wonderful run in ECW though, I
must give them credit for that.
Winner: Bam
Bam Bigelow over Taz vis Crushing Him!
(Dueling Canes Match) The Sandman vs Sabu
So, this match was not meant to make air because it was so violent
but we end up seeing the match anyways. Alright, whatever as if I want to argue
about the match having full commentary and the idiotic nature of this angle.
The match begins with RVD dressing up as Sabu and attacking Sandman, the real
Sabu comes to the ring and beats the piss out of Sandman. Sandman is driven through
a table, Arabian Facebuster from Sabu. Two for Sabu, Sandman avoids a top rope
manoeuvre from Sabu. Sabu maintains control as Sandman is so worn down, Sabu
hurls Sandman to the ramp. Sabu DDTs Sandman on the ramp, Alfonso hands Sabu
another table.
Triple Jump Moonsault on the ramp by Sabu, Sandman is somehow
up miraculously showing no signs of fatigue. Sandman whips Sabu into a table
and into a referee, Sandman suplexes the table onto Sabu. RVD is back, RVD
kicks Sandman in the head ruining the table. Slingshot leg drop by Sabu, diving
thrust kick by RVD. Five Star Frog Splash onto Sandman who is under a chair,
RVD and Sabu leg drop Sandman through the table and crooked referee Jeff Jones
counts the pin.
You know when I said New Jack ruined matches? Well, with Sabu
you kind of get the same thing with very little in-ring storytelling. Also,
Sandman vs Sabu is a match that I never ever want to see again, both times the
two have been absolute garbage in there with one another. Sandman is a fantastic
presence, an awesome gimmick but in the ring, it would just drive you to drink
watching the guy. Table spots and a bunch of things that tried to resemble a
wrestling match leave you with one spot at the end where you can say “Ah that
was alright”
Winner: Sabu
over The Sandman via Diving Leg Drop!
The Triple Threat W/ Francine vs Lance Storm & ???
Bigelow re-joined the Triple Threat, this meant there was no
space for Lance Storm, Storm was kicked out in favour of Bigelow. Storm wants
revenge, poor ECW people could not fix the ring but we are here to see a main
event damn it! Lance Storm appears with Sunny, this could not possibly be a
swerve at all? Storm dives onto Candido and Douglas, spinning heel kicks and
chops by Storm. Dropkick to Douglas, Candido is crotched on the top rope. Top
rope superplex for two, Douglas is sent onto the top rope. Superkick knocks Douglas
to the floor, Storm back suplexes Candido. Tag to Sunny, Francine and Sunny are
standing toe to toe, this could get nasty.
Sunny has a baking tray, Sunny fucks up her swerve missing
Storm’s head completely. Everyone cheers as we have The Triple Threat together
once again with Sunny and Francine hugging, Candido taunts Storm which leads to
Al Snow coming out to the arena. We have a rave in the ECW arena as Snow comes
down to the ring and beats on Candido and Douglas, heads are everywhere. Douglas and Snow brawl in the corner, the
camera continues to go upside down. Douglas falls through the whole in the
ring, Snow has Douglas. Snow Plow and we have your winners.
Another piss-poor main event from ECW, a tag match with a swerve
that everyone and their mother saw coming only for the babyface to come out and
make the save for a match under five minutes. Boy, I really got my money’s
worth from this extravaganza. God bless any ECW fan who bought these shows, they
are awful at times and have not aged well in the slightest. To end on a positive
though, Snow was over and they were pushing for Snow which at least it means
they were doing one thing right.
Winners:
Storm & Snow over The Triple Threat via Snowplow!
That was ECW’s Living Dangerously 1998, a downright awful pay
per view. My goodness this might be the worst I have seen so far, the opening
match seems amazing compared to all the shit I just sat through. The formulaic
tag match was fun and fast-paced, it did not overstay its welcome. It delivered
and I was a happy man following the match. That joy left my body as I watched
Furnas and Tanaka stumble over in a terrible showing for Tanaka, I saw RVD try
to be established as one of the great high-flyers of the company but fail due
to the shitty booking. I saw terrible brawling and tonnes of interference in
the next matches that followed and a main event that lasted about five minutes.
All in all, a waste of time for me. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always
another night!
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