
Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the
internet that is more over than Finn Balor! Back to WWE after a long time
covering WCW pay per views, I do apologise but I just could not wait to get
through all that garbage that was WCW at the end. So, we re-join the blue brand
with Smackdown presenting WWE’s Great American Bash 2006 with big matches
featuring King Booker vs Rey Mysterio for The World Heavyweight Championship
and Undertaker vs The Big Show in a Punjabi Prison Match. As always, Smackdown
has a slightly less stacked roster than the A-Show so can this pay per view
rock all night long? Let’s find out!
Opening
Promo
The American flag which images of your
top WWE superstars show before we get Great Khali wreaking havoc, Undertaker must
face Khali inside of the prison. Sadly, this would not happen to Khali having
elevated liver enzymes which means we get Big Show at his fattest. We also get
to see the rise of King Booker after many years of ill-treatment from the WWE.
Good stuff though, a step up from the WCW packages.
(WWE
Tag Team Championship Match) Paul London & Brian Kendrick © vs The Pitbulls
With the implosion of MNM, our flying
babyfaces need fresh blood in the division and there is something different as
we have Kash and Noble, two similar built wrestlers like the champions. This
could be tonnes of fun, Kash is back after last appearing at Royal Rumble I
believe. Kash shoves London, the two roll around on the mat, knee by Kash and
we reset. Lock-up, shoulder block by Kash.
Another shoulder block and posing from
Kash, Kash pummels London. Headbutts by Kash, London fires up with a right hand
and dropkick. Kash elevates London to the apron, slingshot headscissors by
London. Tag to Kendrick, rocket launcher for two. Armdrags and armbar by
Kendrick, eye poke by Kash and in comes Noble. Chops and elbows to the back of
the head, tilt-a-whirl goes wrong for Noble as Kendrick counters with a
crossbody for two. Tag to London, mule kick for two. Tag to Kendrick, axe
handle by Kendrick. Tag to London who does the same, Noble pulls London into
the corner. Kendrick tags into the match, double hiptoss and simultaneous
dropkicks.
Double suicide dives, Kendrick is on
the top rope but Kash grabs the foot. Noble yanks Kendrick off the top rope,
two for Noble. Stiff kicks by Noble, double shoulder block with Kash being the
legal man. Kendrick is tossed by his hair, elbows to the face by Kash.
Headscissors by Kendrick who makes the tag, London nails a slingshot
clothesline, belly to belly suplex. Flapjack to Kash, Noble elevates London to
the apron. Kash distracts London who eats a dropkick from Noble, Noble stomps
London over and over. London mounts a comeback before a massive calf kick from
Noble, Kash stomps all over London.
Foot choke by Kash, hard chops and
knees to the face. Double chops by the challengers, Noble covers for two. Kash
is back in, London mounts a comeback again but Kash takes down London. Kash is
kicked into Noble, Noble spills to the floor. Noble pulls Kendrick off the
apron, London cannot make the tag. London back drops Noble, Kash headbutts
London. London manages to escape a back suplex and tag Kendrick.
Flying forearms and clotheslines,
superkick to Noble and heel kick to Kash for two. Standing hurricanrana by
Kendrick, Noble saves Kash. Noble wants a tigerbomb, London nails a massive
spinning heel kick. Kash clotheslines London, dropkick by Kendrick. Kendrick
crossbodies onto Noble, Kash has London in the ring. London avoids a
brainbuster, Kendrick dives off the top rope for a sunset flip with London
dropkicking Kash and Kash is caught by the champions.
Not as good as I had hoped for, I
thought the heat segment deserved to be something more with the way London sold
that nasty bump to the floor. Kendrick just did not have that fire I was hoping
for, I did like the tenacity of the Kash and Noble, they came off as aggressive
psychos who wanted to hurt the high-flyers but I just did not get that great
feeling when the hot-tag came. A good match but it could have been so much
better.
Winners: London & Kendrick over
The Pitbulls via Dropsault!
Long
& Lashley
Long says Lashley cannot compete,
Lashley comes out to the ring in his gear. It seems Lashley was building up a
lot of steam despite his awkward push and lack of promo skills.
(WWE
United States Championship Match) Finlay © vs William Regal
Finlay wants a win by forfeit as
Lashley cannot compete, Long turns the tables on cocky Finlay. Regal searches
for the little bastard, Finlay rolls up Regal for two. Regal smacks Finlay in
the side of the head, lock-up. They roll to the floor, they roll back in the
ring. Slap from Regal, Finlay has been busted open by Regal across the nose.
Regal trips up Finlay, Finlay wriggles free. Side headlock by Finlay, shoulder
block by Finlay. Regal hurls Finlay to the floor, uppercut by Regal. Little
bastard grabs Regal’s foot, shillelagh to the leg. Finlay attacks Regal with a
short arm clothesline for two, nerve hold and elbow by Finlay. Uppercuts by
both men, eye poke and roll-up by Finlay.
Hard Irish whip by Finlay, Regal kicks
Finlay from the ground. Regal kicks off Finlay, double underhook suplex by
Regal for two. Regal is bitten by Little Bastard, Finlay stomps on the fingers.
Finlay works the fingers, knees by Regal and a huge uppercut. Regal trips
Finlay for an STF, Finlay kicks off Regal. Clothesline by Finlay, senton with
Regal writhing in pain. Regal is bounced off the ring apron, reverse chinlock
from Finlay. Regal shoves off Finlay and both men bang heads, knees and stomps
by Regal. Dropkick by Regal for two, knee drop by Regal for two. Finlay is sent
to the floor, Finlay uses the ring apron to trap Regal, clubbing blows by
Finlay. Regal has lost his shoe, Little
Bastard has taken the shoe. Finlay stomps on Regal’s foot, Regal dodges a shoulder
tackle. Roll-up by Regal for two, shillelagh is in Regal’s hand. Finlay nails
Regal with Regal’s boot for the win.
Tough crowd, just kidding this match
is not what the crowd wanted and I am not sure I wanted the match either. Both
men are heels which is not a good start for a match, the crowd is obviously
going to be torn for who to cheer as well as that you have two men who work a
very particular style, a style that gels well with a wrestler of a different
style. These European styles of Finlay and Regal mesh well together but inside
a WWE ring where the fans are conditioned to a WWE style of wrestling, it simply
leaves everything feeling flat.
Winner: Finlay over William Regal via
Boot To The Head!
Chavo
Gives The Pep Talk Of A Lifetime
Chavo does his best motivational speech
of all-time and it’s great! Chavo talks about Mysterio being an honorary
Guerrero and that Mysterio is living Guerrero’s last dream. Good stuff!
Matt
Hardy vs Gregory Helms
Longest reigning cruiserweight
champion Helms is branching out, a good person to branch out against is
long-term friend Matt Hardy. Lock-up, Helms has Hardy in the corner. Clean
break, lock-up with Hardy backing in Helms. Helms shoves Hardy, armdrag by
Hardy. Side headlock by Hardy, hiptoss and headlock takedown by Hardy. Hardy
leapfrogs Helms and does The Hurricane pose, inverted atomic drop and
clothesline to the floor by Hardy. Plancha by Hardy connects, roll-up by Hardy
for two. Helms rolls to the apron and hotshots Hardy, swinging neckbreaker by
Helms.
Make it two for two, Hardy escapes a
reverse chinlock with a jawbreaker, Helms fires back with a clothesline.
Reverse chinlock by Helms, armdrag by Hardy. Helms boots Hardy, Hardy nails a
big right hand. Russian legsweep for two, knee by Helms. Side Effect is blocked
for a roll-up, Helms climbs to the top rope but Hardy was waiting with a right
hand. Helms crotches Hardy, top rope neckbreaker by Helms. Hardy survives
placing his foot on the bottom rope, Helms drags Hardy away from the ropes but
Hardy kicks out at two. Knees to the head by Helms, Hardy backs Helms into the
corner.
Uppercut by Helms, right hands by
Hardy. Forearms and back elbow, Side Effect by Hardy for two. Corner
clothesline and bulldog by Hardy for two, Hardy does not connect with the twist
of fate, hangman’s neckbreaker for two by Helms. Hardy ducks the shining wizard
but Helms nails The Shining Wizard on a second attempt, two for Helms. Helms
has Hardy on the top rope, Hardy knocks Helms off the top rope. Moonsault by
Hardy for two, middle rope elbow for two. Helms stunguns Hardy on the top turnbuckle,
roll-up with a handful of tights and we have a winner in Helms.
Nice little midcard match for the pay
per view, that was truly solid in every sense of the word. Work was good, both
guys put on a competitive match with a finish that suits Helms perfectly as a
whiney little douchebag taking on bigger tougher guys. I enjoyed the match a
lot compared to the last so that might make me bias.
Winner: Gregory Helms over Matt Hardy
via Roll-Up!
(Punjabi
Prison Match) Big Show vs The Undertaker
Lots of bamboo covers the ring as we
get bait and switch two, The Big Show steps in to face Undertaker as Khali
cannot work for shit. Seems legit, Cole explains the rules for us simpletons.
The first cage has four doors, you have sixty seconds to escape the first cage
while the second cage has no doors so you must climb that second cage and
escape to win. Show jumps Taker to begin the match, huge stomps to the chest of
Taker. Headbutts by Show, big right hands. Taker begins to slug back at Show,
Show sends Taker into a turnbuckle. Huge boot by Show, Taker is bounced off the
cage wall. Foot choke by Show, headbutt by Show.
Taker boots Show, Taker goes for the
legs. Chop block and boot, Taker tries climbing the first cage which you are
not meant to do but because Taker is a badass, Taker breaks the rules. Show crotches
Taker on the cage, headbutts by Show. Show is choking Taker with a leather
strap, Show rams Taker into the corner. Boot by Show, Taker staggers to his feet
and mounts a comeback. Right hands to the face of Show, Show is bounced off the
cage wall over and over by splashes by Taker. Show catches Taker by the throat,
DDT by Taker. Taker calls for a door to be opened, Show has Taker in his
grasps. Show pulls down a strap, the door shuts and will never open per the
rules.
Show undoes a turnbuckle, Taker nails
rights and lefts to Show. Lou Thesz Press by Taker, Show counters an old school
attempt. Show calls for a door to be opened, Taker tries crawling out but Show
nails a Chokeslam. However, the door closes in Show’s face, knees by Show.
Taker is bounced off the exposed turnbuckle, Taker is bleeding. Headbutts by Show,
right hands by Show. Show begins climbing the cage, low blow by Taker. Top rope
superplex by Taker, Taker escapes the cage by calling for a door to be opened.
Taker begins climbing out of the cage, Show gives chase. Show throws Taker
through a table, Show puts Taker back inside the first cage with the door
shutting leaving Taker locked inside the cage.
Show begins climbing, Taker out-climbs
Show. They two do battle before Taker boots Show in the face, Taker leg drops
Show through a table. Both men are bleeding, Show is banged off the first cage.
Khali is here, Taker nails a crossbody onto Show and Taker is declared the
winner while Khali and Daivari look on like geeks as Show is heartbroken.
What a shitty match, first you have
the bait and switch on the night, the second to take place at the pay per view.
That is a joke, I thought Taker vs Khali would be a garbage match but this was
not much better, story-telling my ass. It was Show and Taker plodding around
with fuck-all happening, they ignored the rules for most of the match with both
men trying to climb out of the first cage and we had the match finish with a
crossbody through the cage. Shite!
Winner: Undertaker over Big Show via
Escape!
King
Booker/Sharmell
Posh Booker T kicks so much ass, more
ass than anything else in life. Sharmell pumps up her man, Booker responds with
a kiss.
Four
Way Bra & Panties Match
Michelle McCool, Ashley, Jillian Hall
and Krystal in a four way bra and panties match. Smackdown got fucked over with
Divas around this time if these four are anything to go off, Jillian and
Michelle brawl on the floor. Clothes come off, you and I cheer for the
spectacle and we all go home happy laughing at women and their inferiority (The
sarcasm is strong is this one).
Winner: Ashley via Removal Of Clothes!
Batista
vs Mr. Kennedy
Is this another bait and switch? Well,
it kind of is as your boy Mark Henry injured himself at Saturday’s Night Main Event
which fucked up plans for Batista vs Henry aka Batista’s Revenge. In comes
Kennedy who disrespected Batista, huge right hands by Batista. Kennedy rakes
the eyes, Batista sends Kennedy to the floor and rams him off the steel steps.
Kennedy hard ways himself which leads to a lot of blood, Batista corner
clotheslines Kennedy. Kennedy takes a breather, Kennedy takes a walk before
running back into the ring. Spear by Batista, Batista sidesteps Kennedy who
spills to the floor. Kennedy rakes the eyes and rolls into the ring, the
referee is sent into Batista, huge bicycle kick by Kennedy.
Choke by Kennedy, clothesline and
right hands by Kennedy. Huge boot by Kennedy, Kennedy rakes the face of
Batista. Boot to the head of Batista, Batista is sent into the steel steps.
Kennedy slaps on a rest hold, right hands and slap by Kennedy. Batista wakes
up, Batista drives Kennedy into the corner with shoulder thrusts. Kennedy meets
the ringpost again and again, foot choke by Batista. Batista does not break the
hold and we get a DQ?
You know I was real happy with where
this was going, it was a lot of fun for an impromptu match due to Henry’s
injury. Kennedy looked good even if the blood was accidental, it was nice to
see a big star in Batista back on Smackdown. Kennedy was super cocky and
confident and just when you were going to give us Batista’s monster babyface
comeback, you have Batista get the DQ which sucked the life out of the match
for me.
Winner: Mr. Kennedy over Batista via
DQ!
(WWE
World Heavyweight Championship Match) King Booker W/ Queen Sharmell vs Rey
Mysterio ©
Booker had ascended to the main event
after much mistreatment from WWE throughout his run due to his WCW status.
Booker won the king of the ring and became an obsessed egotistical maniac who
believed himself to truly be a king and everyone else a peasant. When you put
it into words, you might think that wrestling is absolutely nuts but believe
me, this Booker who had his head so firmly up his own ass was just the perfect
fit for Booker and finally allowed Booker to hit the big time in WWE.
Match starts with Eddie can’t help you
from Booker, not a big fan of the whole play-up Eddie for Mysterio. It was tiresome
at No Way Out, we are five months removed from that pay per view. Clean break
by Booker, Mysterio dodges a punch. Knee by Booker who stomps Mysterio, chops
and right hands by Booker. Mysterio fires back with forearms, snapmare and leg
drop for two. Back elbow by Booker, hammerlock by the challenger. Mysterio
escapes and takes down Booker, headscissors by Mysterio. Eye poke by Booker,
shots to the ribs and shoulder thrusts by Booker. Booker misses a charging
shoulder thrusts, seated senton to the floor by Mysterio.
Springboard splash for two, Mysterio
walks into a huge kick for two. Short-arm clothesline, make it two. Sharmell
rakes the eyes of Mysterio, shuffle kick by Booker for two. Mysterio tries
fighting back but Booker shrugs off Mysterio, Booker steals the three amigos.
Chops by Booker, Mysterio ducks the scissors kick. Drop toehold, Booker ducks
the 619. Kick to the head by Mysterio for two, Sharmell trips Mysterio off a
619. Sharmell is ejected from the ringside area, Booker complains raving and
ranting like a lunatic. Boot by Mysterio, Mysterio looks for a bulldog but
Booker nails a back suplex for two.
Mysterio boots Booker from the ground,
low dropkick to the knee. Hurricanrana by Mysterio, springboard crossbody for
two. Tornado DDT for two, Mysterio tried for a corner headscissors but Booker
chucks Mysterio into the referee. Springboard seated senton by Mysterio,
dropkick into the ropes and a 619 by Mysterio. Frog Splash by Mysterio, low
blow by Booker. Book-End, Booker grabs a chair. Mysterio dropkicks the chair
into Booker, here comes Chavo who waffles Mysterio with the chair. Booker
covers and we have a new champion.
The match was fine, I enjoyed parts of
it but Booker was more strong as a character as opposed to in ring by this
point while Mysterio was not given that platform to steal the show. However
that heel turn was MASTERFUL, it seemed so natural as Chavo came out, it was
not that typical where he teases for a lifetime to nail the heel only to screw
the babyface, this was sudden and nobody had time to react and say oh here it
comes. Chavo’s justification? Chavo should have been carrying the name of
Guerrero not Mysterio, simple yet so effective.
Winner: King Booker over Rey Mysterio
via Chair Shot!
That was WWE’s Great American Bash of
2006! It was a weak show if I am to be honest, it all seemed to go downhill
once the tag match finished. There was a feeling of lack of starpower on the
show at points. No Lashley, No Benoit and JBL is at the commentary booth, those
are big blows. Even Henry would have been a welcome addition to those names I
mentioned, the matches were switches from the original lineup with either disappointing
finishes in the case of Batista vs Kennedy or flat-out shite like Punjabi
Prison Match. Chavo vs Mysterio should be great based on the execution of the
angle and this was Booker’s only world championship reign in WWE so check it
out for those two things but otherwise, give this one a miss. Thanks for reading
and remember: There's always another night!

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