Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more over than Finn Balor! Back to WWE after a long time covering WCW pay per views, I do apologise but I just could not wait to get through all that garbage that was WCW at the end. So, we re-join the blue brand with Smackdown presenting WWE’s Great American Bash 2006 with big matches featuring King Booker vs Rey Mysterio for The World Heavyweight Championship and Undertaker vs The Big Show in a Punjabi Prison Match. As always, Smackdown has a slightly less stacked roster than the A-Show so can this pay per view rock all night long? Let’s find out!
The American flag which images of your top WWE superstars show before we get Great Khali wreaking havoc, Undertaker must face Khali inside of the prison. Sadly, this would not happen to Khali having elevated liver enzymes which means we get Big Show at his fattest. We also get to see the rise of King Booker after many years of ill-treatment from the WWE. Good stuff though, a step up from the WCW packages.
(WWE Tag Team Championship Match) Paul London & Brian Kendrick © vs The Pitbulls
With the implosion of MNM, our flying babyfaces need fresh blood in the division and there is something different as we have Kash and Noble, two similar built wrestlers like the champions. This could be tonnes of fun, Kash is back after last appearing at Royal Rumble I believe. Kash shoves London, the two roll around on the mat, knee by Kash and we reset. Lock-up, shoulder block by Kash.
Another shoulder block and posing from Kash, Kash pummels London. Headbutts by Kash, London fires up with a right hand and dropkick. Kash elevates London to the apron, slingshot headscissors by London. Tag to Kendrick, rocket launcher for two. Armdrags and armbar by Kendrick, eye poke by Kash and in comes Noble. Chops and elbows to the back of the head, tilt-a-whirl goes wrong for Noble as Kendrick counters with a crossbody for two. Tag to London, mule kick for two. Tag to Kendrick, axe handle by Kendrick. Tag to London who does the same, Noble pulls London into the corner. Kendrick tags into the match, double hiptoss and simultaneous dropkicks.
Double suicide dives, Kendrick is on the top rope but Kash grabs the foot. Noble yanks Kendrick off the top rope, two for Noble. Stiff kicks by Noble, double shoulder block with Kash being the legal man. Kendrick is tossed by his hair, elbows to the face by Kash. Headscissors by Kendrick who makes the tag, London nails a slingshot clothesline, belly to belly suplex. Flapjack to Kash, Noble elevates London to the apron. Kash distracts London who eats a dropkick from Noble, Noble stomps London over and over. London mounts a comeback before a massive calf kick from Noble, Kash stomps all over London.
Foot choke by Kash, hard chops and knees to the face. Double chops by the challengers, Noble covers for two. Kash is back in, London mounts a comeback again but Kash takes down London. Kash is kicked into Noble, Noble spills to the floor. Noble pulls Kendrick off the apron, London cannot make the tag. London back drops Noble, Kash headbutts London. London manages to escape a back suplex and tag Kendrick.
Flying forearms and clotheslines, superkick to Noble and heel kick to Kash for two. Standing hurricanrana by Kendrick, Noble saves Kash. Noble wants a tigerbomb, London nails a massive spinning heel kick. Kash clotheslines London, dropkick by Kendrick. Kendrick crossbodies onto Noble, Kash has London in the ring. London avoids a brainbuster, Kendrick dives off the top rope for a sunset flip with London dropkicking Kash and Kash is caught by the champions.
Not as good as I had hoped for, I thought the heat segment deserved to be something more with the way London sold that nasty bump to the floor. Kendrick just did not have that fire I was hoping for, I did like the tenacity of the Kash and Noble, they came off as aggressive psychos who wanted to hurt the high-flyers but I just did not get that great feeling when the hot-tag came. A good match but it could have been so much better.
Winners: London & Kendrick over The Pitbulls via Dropsault!
Long & Lashley
Long says Lashley cannot compete, Lashley comes out to the ring in his gear. It seems Lashley was building up a lot of steam despite his awkward push and lack of promo skills.
(WWE United States Championship Match) Finlay © vs William Regal
Finlay wants a win by forfeit as Lashley cannot compete, Long turns the tables on cocky Finlay. Regal searches for the little bastard, Finlay rolls up Regal for two. Regal smacks Finlay in the side of the head, lock-up. They roll to the floor, they roll back in the ring. Slap from Regal, Finlay has been busted open by Regal across the nose. Regal trips up Finlay, Finlay wriggles free. Side headlock by Finlay, shoulder block by Finlay. Regal hurls Finlay to the floor, uppercut by Regal. Little bastard grabs Regal’s foot, shillelagh to the leg. Finlay attacks Regal with a short arm clothesline for two, nerve hold and elbow by Finlay. Uppercuts by both men, eye poke and roll-up by Finlay.
Hard Irish whip by Finlay, Regal kicks Finlay from the ground. Regal kicks off Finlay, double underhook suplex by Regal for two. Regal is bitten by Little Bastard, Finlay stomps on the fingers. Finlay works the fingers, knees by Regal and a huge uppercut. Regal trips Finlay for an STF, Finlay kicks off Regal. Clothesline by Finlay, senton with Regal writhing in pain. Regal is bounced off the ring apron, reverse chinlock from Finlay. Regal shoves off Finlay and both men bang heads, knees and stomps by Regal. Dropkick by Regal for two, knee drop by Regal for two. Finlay is sent to the floor, Finlay uses the ring apron to trap Regal, clubbing blows by Finlay. Regal has lost his shoe, Little Bastard has taken the shoe. Finlay stomps on Regal’s foot, Regal dodges a shoulder tackle. Roll-up by Regal for two, shillelagh is in Regal’s hand. Finlay nails Regal with Regal’s boot for the win.
Tough crowd, just kidding this match is not what the crowd wanted and I am not sure I wanted the match either. Both men are heels which is not a good start for a match, the crowd is obviously going to be torn for who to cheer as well as that you have two men who work a very particular style, a style that gels well with a wrestler of a different style. These European styles of Finlay and Regal mesh well together but inside a WWE ring where the fans are conditioned to a WWE style of wrestling, it simply leaves everything feeling flat.
Winner: Finlay over William Regal via Boot To The Head!
Chavo Gives The Pep Talk Of A Lifetime
Chavo does his best motivational speech of all-time and it’s great! Chavo talks about Mysterio being an honorary Guerrero and that Mysterio is living Guerrero’s last dream. Good stuff!
Matt Hardy vs Gregory Helms
Longest reigning cruiserweight champion Helms is branching out, a good person to branch out against is long-term friend Matt Hardy. Lock-up, Helms has Hardy in the corner. Clean break, lock-up with Hardy backing in Helms. Helms shoves Hardy, armdrag by Hardy. Side headlock by Hardy, hiptoss and headlock takedown by Hardy. Hardy leapfrogs Helms and does The Hurricane pose, inverted atomic drop and clothesline to the floor by Hardy. Plancha by Hardy connects, roll-up by Hardy for two. Helms rolls to the apron and hotshots Hardy, swinging neckbreaker by Helms.
Make it two for two, Hardy escapes a reverse chinlock with a jawbreaker, Helms fires back with a clothesline. Reverse chinlock by Helms, armdrag by Hardy. Helms boots Hardy, Hardy nails a big right hand. Russian legsweep for two, knee by Helms. Side Effect is blocked for a roll-up, Helms climbs to the top rope but Hardy was waiting with a right hand. Helms crotches Hardy, top rope neckbreaker by Helms. Hardy survives placing his foot on the bottom rope, Helms drags Hardy away from the ropes but Hardy kicks out at two. Knees to the head by Helms, Hardy backs Helms into the corner.
Uppercut by Helms, right hands by Hardy. Forearms and back elbow, Side Effect by Hardy for two. Corner clothesline and bulldog by Hardy for two, Hardy does not connect with the twist of fate, hangman’s neckbreaker for two by Helms. Hardy ducks the shining wizard but Helms nails The Shining Wizard on a second attempt, two for Helms. Helms has Hardy on the top rope, Hardy knocks Helms off the top rope. Moonsault by Hardy for two, middle rope elbow for two. Helms stunguns Hardy on the top turnbuckle, roll-up with a handful of tights and we have a winner in Helms.
Nice little midcard match for the pay per view, that was truly solid in every sense of the word. Work was good, both guys put on a competitive match with a finish that suits Helms perfectly as a whiney little douchebag taking on bigger tougher guys. I enjoyed the match a lot compared to the last so that might make me bias.
Winner: Gregory Helms over Matt Hardy via Roll-Up!
(Punjabi Prison Match) Big Show vs The Undertaker
Lots of bamboo covers the ring as we get bait and switch two, The Big Show steps in to face Undertaker as Khali cannot work for shit. Seems legit, Cole explains the rules for us simpletons. The first cage has four doors, you have sixty seconds to escape the first cage while the second cage has no doors so you must climb that second cage and escape to win. Show jumps Taker to begin the match, huge stomps to the chest of Taker. Headbutts by Show, big right hands. Taker begins to slug back at Show, Show sends Taker into a turnbuckle. Huge boot by Show, Taker is bounced off the cage wall. Foot choke by Show, headbutt by Show.
Taker boots Show, Taker goes for the legs. Chop block and boot, Taker tries climbing the first cage which you are not meant to do but because Taker is a badass, Taker breaks the rules. Show crotches Taker on the cage, headbutts by Show. Show is choking Taker with a leather strap, Show rams Taker into the corner. Boot by Show, Taker staggers to his feet and mounts a comeback. Right hands to the face of Show, Show is bounced off the cage wall over and over by splashes by Taker. Show catches Taker by the throat, DDT by Taker. Taker calls for a door to be opened, Show has Taker in his grasps. Show pulls down a strap, the door shuts and will never open per the rules.
Show undoes a turnbuckle, Taker nails rights and lefts to Show. Lou Thesz Press by Taker, Show counters an old school attempt. Show calls for a door to be opened, Taker tries crawling out but Show nails a Chokeslam. However, the door closes in Show’s face, knees by Show. Taker is bounced off the exposed turnbuckle, Taker is bleeding. Headbutts by Show, right hands by Show. Show begins climbing the cage, low blow by Taker. Top rope superplex by Taker, Taker escapes the cage by calling for a door to be opened. Taker begins climbing out of the cage, Show gives chase. Show throws Taker through a table, Show puts Taker back inside the first cage with the door shutting leaving Taker locked inside the cage.
Show begins climbing, Taker out-climbs Show. They two do battle before Taker boots Show in the face, Taker leg drops Show through a table. Both men are bleeding, Show is banged off the first cage. Khali is here, Taker nails a crossbody onto Show and Taker is declared the winner while Khali and Daivari look on like geeks as Show is heartbroken.
What a shitty match, first you have the bait and switch on the night, the second to take place at the pay per view. That is a joke, I thought Taker vs Khali would be a garbage match but this was not much better, story-telling my ass. It was Show and Taker plodding around with fuck-all happening, they ignored the rules for most of the match with both men trying to climb out of the first cage and we had the match finish with a crossbody through the cage. Shite!
Winner: Undertaker over Big Show via Escape!
Posh Booker T kicks so much ass, more ass than anything else in life. Sharmell pumps up her man, Booker responds with a kiss.
Four Way Bra & Panties Match
Michelle McCool, Ashley, Jillian Hall and Krystal in a four way bra and panties match. Smackdown got fucked over with Divas around this time if these four are anything to go off, Jillian and Michelle brawl on the floor. Clothes come off, you and I cheer for the spectacle and we all go home happy laughing at women and their inferiority (The sarcasm is strong is this one).
Winner: Ashley via Removal Of Clothes!
Batista vs Mr. Kennedy
Is this another bait and switch? Well, it kind of is as your boy Mark Henry injured himself at Saturday’s Night Main Event which fucked up plans for Batista vs Henry aka Batista’s Revenge. In comes Kennedy who disrespected Batista, huge right hands by Batista. Kennedy rakes the eyes, Batista sends Kennedy to the floor and rams him off the steel steps. Kennedy hard ways himself which leads to a lot of blood, Batista corner clotheslines Kennedy. Kennedy takes a breather, Kennedy takes a walk before running back into the ring. Spear by Batista, Batista sidesteps Kennedy who spills to the floor. Kennedy rakes the eyes and rolls into the ring, the referee is sent into Batista, huge bicycle kick by Kennedy.
Choke by Kennedy, clothesline and right hands by Kennedy. Huge boot by Kennedy, Kennedy rakes the face of Batista. Boot to the head of Batista, Batista is sent into the steel steps. Kennedy slaps on a rest hold, right hands and slap by Kennedy. Batista wakes up, Batista drives Kennedy into the corner with shoulder thrusts. Kennedy meets the ringpost again and again, foot choke by Batista. Batista does not break the hold and we get a DQ?
You know I was real happy with where this was going, it was a lot of fun for an impromptu match due to Henry’s injury. Kennedy looked good even if the blood was accidental, it was nice to see a big star in Batista back on Smackdown. Kennedy was super cocky and confident and just when you were going to give us Batista’s monster babyface comeback, you have Batista get the DQ which sucked the life out of the match for me.
Winner: Mr. Kennedy over Batista via DQ!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) King Booker W/ Queen Sharmell vs Rey Mysterio ©
Booker had ascended to the main event after much mistreatment from WWE throughout his run due to his WCW status. Booker won the king of the ring and became an obsessed egotistical maniac who believed himself to truly be a king and everyone else a peasant. When you put it into words, you might think that wrestling is absolutely nuts but believe me, this Booker who had his head so firmly up his own ass was just the perfect fit for Booker and finally allowed Booker to hit the big time in WWE.
Match starts with Eddie can’t help you from Booker, not a big fan of the whole play-up Eddie for Mysterio. It was tiresome at No Way Out, we are five months removed from that pay per view. Clean break by Booker, Mysterio dodges a punch. Knee by Booker who stomps Mysterio, chops and right hands by Booker. Mysterio fires back with forearms, snapmare and leg drop for two. Back elbow by Booker, hammerlock by the challenger. Mysterio escapes and takes down Booker, headscissors by Mysterio. Eye poke by Booker, shots to the ribs and shoulder thrusts by Booker. Booker misses a charging shoulder thrusts, seated senton to the floor by Mysterio.
Springboard splash for two, Mysterio walks into a huge kick for two. Short-arm clothesline, make it two. Sharmell rakes the eyes of Mysterio, shuffle kick by Booker for two. Mysterio tries fighting back but Booker shrugs off Mysterio, Booker steals the three amigos. Chops by Booker, Mysterio ducks the scissors kick. Drop toehold, Booker ducks the 619. Kick to the head by Mysterio for two, Sharmell trips Mysterio off a 619. Sharmell is ejected from the ringside area, Booker complains raving and ranting like a lunatic. Boot by Mysterio, Mysterio looks for a bulldog but Booker nails a back suplex for two.
Mysterio boots Booker from the ground, low dropkick to the knee. Hurricanrana by Mysterio, springboard crossbody for two. Tornado DDT for two, Mysterio tried for a corner headscissors but Booker chucks Mysterio into the referee. Springboard seated senton by Mysterio, dropkick into the ropes and a 619 by Mysterio. Frog Splash by Mysterio, low blow by Booker. Book-End, Booker grabs a chair. Mysterio dropkicks the chair into Booker, here comes Chavo who waffles Mysterio with the chair. Booker covers and we have a new champion.
The match was fine, I enjoyed parts of it but Booker was more strong as a character as opposed to in ring by this point while Mysterio was not given that platform to steal the show. However that heel turn was MASTERFUL, it seemed so natural as Chavo came out, it was not that typical where he teases for a lifetime to nail the heel only to screw the babyface, this was sudden and nobody had time to react and say oh here it comes. Chavo’s justification? Chavo should have been carrying the name of Guerrero not Mysterio, simple yet so effective.
Winner: King Booker over Rey Mysterio via Chair Shot!
That was WWE’s Great American Bash of 2006! It was a weak show if I am to be honest, it all seemed to go downhill once the tag match finished. There was a feeling of lack of starpower on the show at points. No Lashley, No Benoit and JBL is at the commentary booth, those are big blows. Even Henry would have been a welcome addition to those names I mentioned, the matches were switches from the original lineup with either disappointing finishes in the case of Batista vs Kennedy or flat-out shite like Punjabi Prison Match. Chavo vs Mysterio should be great based on the execution of the angle and this was Booker’s only world championship reign in WWE so check it out for those two things but otherwise, give this one a miss. Thanks for reading and remember: There's always another night!