Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that continues to be as irrelevant as Impact Wrestling! Cyber Sunday is WWE’s new version of Taboo Tuesday, the fans decide the matches on the night. The fans have all the power, the fans can make or break a superstar tonight! So, who’s championship will be up for grabs in the main event? Who will be the referee in the DX vs Rated RKO match? So many choices, so many potential matches this is oh so exciting. But will the show be a hit? Let’s find out!
Umaga vs Kane
Umaga could have faced Sandman, Benoit or Kane. Benoit is a strange one considering Benoit is a Smackdown superstar. Maria and Todd Grisham are our hosts for the evening, Kane wins with 49% of the vote. With the way these things are set up, it is easy to predict who will be facing who on this night. What I did not remember was that Kane had already lost the loser leaves Raw match, I thought this match would decide on Kane’s fate. Kane and Umaga slug it out, uppercut by Kane. Elbows in the corner and a choke, Umaga bounces back with a headbutt. Right hands from Kane but Umaga headbutts the big red machine, elbow by Kane who runs into a belly to belly suplex.
Kane sits up but is kicked down, falling headbutt by Umaga. Kane uppercuts his way back in, spinning heel kick by Umaga. Middle rope choke by Umaga, Kane begins to fight back once more. Boot by Kane, Umaga counters for a complete shot. Chops by Umaga, Kane has his eyes raked by The Samoan Bulldozer. Scoop slam by Umaga, middle rope diving headbutt for two. Knee to the head, right hands by Umaga. Running hip attack by Umaga, Umaga tries a Samoan Spike against the ringpost but Kane ducks. Umaga meets the steel steps, Kane drags Umaga back into the ring.
Kane nails ten punches in the corner, Kane unleashes a fury on Umaga. Headbutt and uppercuts by Kane, corner clothesline by The Big Red Machine. Make it two clotheslines, Umaga counters an Irish whip for a Samoan drop. Kane sits up, Umaga eye rakes Kane. Umaga misses a corner splash, Kane delivers a back suplex. Kane is on the top rope, Kane dives into an uppercut from Umaga. Samoan Spike and we have a winner, Umaga is undefeated.
Decent opening match, there was not a whole lot to the match, it was your basic bare-bones match, Umaga dominated the early portions until Umaga made a mistake which let Kane into the match but Umaga was just far too strong, Umaga was being built up and it was working in a big way. Let us see what Umaga can do when he is tested in a match, that day is coming up soon.
Winner: Umaga over Kane via Samoan Spike!
Sharmell & Show
Show wants all the championship, Sharmell wants Show to team up with King Booker. Show almost steals The Rock’s catchphrase before Sharmell interrupts the giant and storms off.
Cryme Time vs Viscera & Charlie Haas vs The Highlanders vs Cade & Murdoch
All these teams on Raw and The Spirit Squad are still tag team champions? How ridiculous, Cade and Murdoch were never given a fair chance losing to the makeshift team of Show & Kane. Anyways, this turns into a Texas Tornado match where everyone is legal and murdering one another. So much going on, I can hardly follow. Viscera and Shad are in the ring, slam by Viscera. Shad avoids an elbow from Viscera, slingshot splash from Cryme Time. Cade & Murdoch stop that pin-fall. The Highlanders battle Cade & Murdoch in the ring, clotheslines and The Highlanders plancha onto Cade & Murdoch.
Haas and JTG are in the ring, dropkick by JTG. German suplex by Haas on JTG, Shad boots off Haas’ head. Shad and Viscera trade blows, clotheslines do not affect Viscera, Viscera nails a massive slam. Viscera splashes Haas by mistake, The Highlanders kick Viscera to the floor. Boot by Murdoch to Robbie, High and Low combination on Robbie. JTG comes in and steals the pin for the win.
Hardly a match, it went by so fast and nobody had a chance to do anything of note or to do anything that makes them seem impressive. This was your typical get everybody on the card match, nothing to really report on for this match.
Winners: Cryme Time over Everyone Else via Shenanigans!
I Just Kicked Stan Segment
Just the name alone should give it away, Triple H tells Michaels that Bischoff believes that Shawn Michaels is not controversial. So, Michaels nails three randoms with Sweet Chin Musics in a funny fashion. A segment that has seen so much love through the internet.
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Jeff Hardy © vs Carlito
Well, Jeff Hardy won the championship pretty soon after coming back right? Just kidding, Hardy was super popular and Hardy defeated Nitro for the championship. So, the choices we have are Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro and Carlito. The internet chose Carlito which means we will have a face vs face match which is always difficult to pull off. What is funny about this too is that I wrote way back at Vengeance 2006 that I would enjoy a Carlito chase for Nitro’s championship. Hardy came in and basically stole what was Carlito’s championship run, it is more frustrating after watching Carlito look great in the ring with Randy Orton.
Lock-up, snapmare and cover by Carlito for two, cradle by Hardy for two. Backslide by Carlito for two, we have a stalemate. Side headlock by Hardy, shoulder block by Hardy. Dropkick to the knee by Carlito, back elbow by Carlito. Snap suplex for two, Hardy catches Carlito with a dropkick following a leapfrog attempt. Clothesline by Hardy for two, corkscrew mule kick by Hardy. Baseball slide by Hardy, Hardy runs the barricade but Carlito blocks the crossbody with a dropkick. Two for Carlito, reverse chinlock by Carlito. Hardy escapes and nails ten punches in the corner, Hardy wants a slingshot dropkick but Carlito blocks with a huge boot.
Carlito grabs a waistlock to wear down Hardy, jawbreaker by Hardy to escape. Roll-up by Carlito for two, snapmare and a leg drop for two. Carlito continues with the bearhug, Hardy escapes but eats a flapjack. Two for Carlito, backbreaker by Carlito for two. Reverse chinlock by Carlito, DDT by Hardy. Clotheslines by Hardy, neckbreaker for two. Sit-out front suplex by Hardy for two, Hardy climbs to the top rope. Carlito blocks the swanton with his knees for two, springboard hilo and moonsault for two. Carlito misses a springboard crossbody, twist of fate is blocked but Whisper in The Wind connects for two. Hardy is on the top rope, Carlito crotches Hardy. Carlito’s hurricanrana is blocked, Swanton Bomb and Hardy retains his championship.
Not a big fan of this match, felt it was very slow and dull in the middle, the meatiest part of the match. I thought it was off to a good start with both men trading control as that’s what you need to do for the face vs face dynamic. However, I think Hardy was still getting back to his best in WWE. The drama was not there, there were subtle hints though that Carlito could be turning heel. I would be disappointed as that would mean the Carlito face run was a failure when it was out of Carlito’s hand but this match would be for nothing if Carlito did not turn heel, that was the one thing that I thought could be salvaged from this match.
Winner: Jeff Hardy over Carlito via Swanton Bomb!
Rated RKO vs D-Generation X (Special Guest Referee = Eric Bischoff)
Having rid themselves of The Mcmahons, DX have a new problem in Rated RKO. This is the combination of Randy Orton and Edge, two men who had been wronged by Michaels and Triple H. This could be a fun match, four big players from the Raw brand. Interestingly, Bischoff is back in the fold which makes one hell of a choice considering I cannot remember seeing Bischoff in over a year on WWE television when he was hell bent on stopping John Cena being WWE Champion. This was because Vince “fired” Bischoff so he could write his book Controversy Create Cash.
The match begins with Michaels and Edge, Michaels exposes Edge’s ass off a sunset flip. Chops by HBK, Edge reverses an Irish whip to the corner. Sunset flip by HBK for two, arm-wringer by Michaels. Tag to Triple H, kick to the ribs. Corner clothesline by Triple H, jabs by The Game. Eye poke by Edge, Orton comes in with right hands. Triple H explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, suplex by The Game. Knee drop by Triple H, mounted punches by Triple H. Chops by HBK, tag back to Triple H. Orton pulls Triple H to his corner, dropkick by Orton with Edge as the legal man. Edge O Matic for two, Orton gets the tag. Right hands and uppercuts by Orton, stomps by The Legend Killer. Tag to Edge, Triple H blocks a double axe handle for a DDT.
HBK is in, right hand and flying forearm. Kip-up, inverted atomic drop to Orton and Edge, scoop slam for Edge. Michaels climbs to the top rope, elbow drop by Michaels. Orton trips HBK and sends HBK groin first into the ringpost, two for Edge. Orton is in, right hands floor Michaels. Foot choke from Orton, Edge taunts Triple H which brings over Bischoff, Rated RKO put the boots to Michaels. Front chancery after a dropkick by Edge, Michaels almost makes the tag but Edge boots HBK in the face for two. Dropkick by Orton for two, Orton is getting frustrated, Orton slaps on an aggressive reverse chinlock.
Orton nails his backbreaker, Edge tags into the match. Edge Spears Bischoff by mistake, Edge cannot believe his luck. Enzuigiri by Michaels, Michaels tags in Triple H. Right hands to everyone, high knee to Orton. Knee facebuster and clothesline on Edge, spinebuster to Orton. Edge Spears Triple H, Edge taunts a little too long. Michaels sidesteps Edge, plancha by Michaels onto Edge. RKO by Orton on The Game, a new referee slides in and Triple H kicks out of Orton’s RKO. Triple H shoves off Orton who runs into Sweet Chin Music, Triple H crawls for the cover and Bischoff pulls out the new referee.
Michaels see what Bischoff done, Edge nails Michaels with a steel chair. Bischoff has a sinister smile on his face, Orton waffles Triple H with the chair. RKO onto the steel chair, Orton crawls into the cover and Bischoff counts the pin as we all realize that Bischoff does not like DX very much.
Solid tag team match, there was bit of a house show aspect to it in the early going with the showing of asses and DX’s joking manner which I am not a fan of, it seems to be a real issue with DX during this time. One moment it is balls to the walls serious like the hell in a cell with the slegdehammers etc and the next it is let’s shove Vince’s head up Big Show’s ass or let’s chop Edge’s ass and make Orton look dumb. Anyways, I liked the way the match built up to Triple H’s tag, the finish you could see from a mile away though.
Winners: Rated RKO over DX via RKO!
(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Mickie James vs Lita
Trish retired as champion, we had a tournament to decide who would be the new champion. It comes down to Lita and Mickie James, James was expected to pick up the brand in the absence of Trish. That is no easy task but James was more than game for the task, the chosen stipulation for this match is a lumberjill’s match. We have women from ECW, Raw and Smackdown. Hope this was a paycheque for these women as I have not seen many of these for such a long time. Lita tosses Mickie right away, the heels jump Mickie. Mickie returns the favour for Lita, the faces jump Lita.
Side headlock and shoulder block by Lita, drop toehold and dropkick by Mickie. Lita rolls to the apron, hotshot by Lita. Stomps by Lita in the corner, foot choke and stomp to the ribs by Lita. Snap suplex by Lita for two, foot choke and a tilt-a-whirl slam by Lita for two. Lita is slapping and paintbrushing Mickie, sleeper by Lita who mounts Mickie. Lita takes it do a rear-naked choke, Lita reverses for a cross armbreaker. Lita grabs the ropes, Mickie trips Lita. Right hands by Mickie, clothesline and a back elbow.
Two for Mickie, Irish whip to the corner. Mickie counters Lita with a back elbow, headscissors to the floor. Both women tumble out and we have a war between all of the women. Both women trade blows on their knees, spinning sole butt by Mickie. Lita blocks Mickie’s DDT, Lita tries cheating using the ropes for a roll-up. Mickie rolls-up Lita for two, Mickie is grabbed by Victoria. Baseball slide by Mickie but Lita drills Mickie with a DDT and Lita wins the championship.
Man, that crowd was silent. That was rough, I have to give credit for the two for just going out there with that reaction. Lita was hated though, not many better in terms of character or experience on that roster. Hopefully, Mickie had a readymade feud with Victoria for the next pay per view or something, why else would they have Victoria get involved in the finish?
Winner: Lita over Mickie James via DDT!
(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Spirit Squad © vs Ric Flair & Roddy Piper
The Spirit Squad is in trouble, they continue to lose and have internal struggles. Johnny and Kenny almost come to blows, it is about time these goons get off my screen. I know I am being harsh but talk about overstaying your welcome, sweet Jesus they need to do something new and should not be tag team champions. Flair could have teamed with Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper or Dusty Rhodes. I imagine this was quite close between Piper and Rhodes, Piper wins by at least 9%. I did not expect that much of a gap, Flair is excited to have Piper as his partner. Piper should not have taken off his shirt, Piper is a fat motherfucker at this point.
Flair and Kenny start, shoulder block by Flair. Dropkick by Kenny for two, in comes Mikey. Tag to Piper, jabs by Piper. Biting from Piper, Mikey roughs up Piper but Piper beats down everyone in green. Sleeper by Piper, Kenny interferes. Tag to Kenny, right hands to Piper. Leapfrog forearm by Mikey, backslide by Piper for two. Tag to Kenny, double axe handle on Piper. Reverse chinlock by Kenny, Piper continues to take punishment before dodging a splash from the champions. Flair is in the ring, chops by Flair. Double clothesline to Kenny, double back elbow to Mikey. Double suplex, Figure Four on Mikey. Kenny nails his Leg Drop, Flair cradles Mikey for two. Figure Four, Piper pummels Kenny. Mikey taps and we have new champions.
A feel good moment for everyone in attendance, Piper looks dreadful though. I cannot believe Piper got into a ring in that kind of shape, happy that the titles are off the Spirit Squad. Those guys needed to get off TV and find something new as they were beaten so often on Raw that they did not deserve to be anywhere near those championships.
Winners: Flair & Piper over Spirit Squad via Figure Four!
John Cena’s Proposal
Booker wants Cena in his pocket for the championship match, Cena suggest helping if Booker gives Cena Sharmell for one night. Sharmell flips out, Sharmell is offended but Booker says that he will handle it. Booker accepts which makes Cena laugh in Booker’s face. We get a Ron Simmons Damn and all, it is lovely.
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) King Booker © W/ Sharmell vs Big Show vs John Cena
Three championships but only one will be up for grabs, it turns out that being a prick did not work out for King Booker as the fans choose Booker’s championship to be defended. Cena drills Booker, Show and Cena do battle. Headbutt by Show, massive chest slap by Show. Cena fires back at Show, back elbow by Show. Show hard Irish whips Cena, clothesline by Show. Scoop slam, Show continues to decimate Cena while Booker watches from the steel steps. Show headbutts Cena, Show leans over to grab Cena. Scissors Kick by Booker, right hands and stomps, Show comes back strong with headbutts. Show knocks Cena to the floor, Booker tries fighting Show but Show clubs down Booker.
Scoop slam by Show, Final Cut by Show. Cena saves the match, right hands by Cena. Show shoves down Cena, Booker eats a headbutt. Eye poke by Booker, knees, Cena and Booker team up against Show. Show is clotheslined to the floor by both Cena and Booker, roll-up by Booker for two. Booker chops Cena, Cena nails a fisherman buster suplex. Show pulls out Cena and smashes Cena with a clothesline, how grabs the steel steps but Cena dropkicks Show which leads to Show smacking off the steel steps. Book-End by Booker for two, Harlem Sidekick for two. Cena and Booker trade blows, stungun by Booker. Superkick for two, Cena dodges a back drop for a belly to belly suplex.
Right hands by Cena, Cena misses a corner splash. Booker has a reverse chinlock, Cena uses his power to escape the hold. Spinning side suplex for two, Cena misses a top rope splash. Booker covers for two, scissors kick misses but so does the fu. Booker nails a DDT for two, Cena recovers and wants an stfu. Booker reaches the ropes, eye poke by Booker. Lariat by Cena, back elbow in the corner by Cena. Suplex by Cena for two, back drop by Booker. Booker climbs to the top rope, Cena crotches Booker. Show is up, Show has Cena on his shoulders. Booker missile dropkicks Show who drops Cena and himself.
Cena and Booker attack Show, Show double suplexes Booker and Cena. Clotheslines to both, headbutts to both. Booker and Cena are in the corner, splash and shoulder block. Chokeslam for Booker, Cena fights but eats a massive spear. Cena and Show fight by the announce table, Cena sends Show into the ringpost. Shoulder tackles and spinning side suplex by Cena, Cena kicks a chair into Show’s face. Five Knuckle Shuffle on Booker, Sharmell has a championship. Cena FUs Sharmell, Booker is tripped into an STFU. Kevin Federline smacks Cena with the world championship, Booker nails Cena with the championship and Booker retains his championship.
That was a lot of fun, I must say that Big Show might be the king of triple threat matches as the man always gets to be portrayed as a Giant dominating force who takes one hell of a beating to keep him down. Show was great tossing people around, Booker was a great coward hiding and picking his spots while Cena showed the guts that made him a world champion. Nobody has laid a hand on Sharmell all through her tantrums and bending of the rules, it was nice that there was finally some consequences for her actions. For me, the finish was ok you could have gone with Booker nailing Cena without Federline’s involvement but I see why they did it, they wanted that mainstream appeal.
Winner: King Booker over Everyone Else via Championship to the Face!
That was WWE’s Cyber Sunday of 2006, a solid show for what would be scene as a less than serious show in most cases. Taboo Tuesday and Cyber Sunday were bridges between pay per views like UK pay per views, they were not meant to have any real impact on the direction that the company was going in, that’s why you do not usually see title changes. As a pay per view, it was a fun two hours and a half of wrestling, there was nothing horrible about the show even if certain matches felt like they were just there. I say the main event was more than enough to justify the pay per view, thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!
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