Wednesday 20 December 2017

ECW November To Remember 1998 Review

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Hello and welcome to another eyebrow-raising edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that eagerly awaits the next chapter of the Mojo Rawley vs Zack Ryder feud! ECW’s Wrestlemania, it is ECW’s November to Remember 1998. Masato Tanaka and Balls Mahoney are challenging for the ECW tag team championships against The Dudley Boyz, Jerry Lynn battles Lance Storm and a main event that is a six-man tag? Wait, what? Your Wrestlemania is a six-man tag? I don’t understand this at all, why can’t they take the belt of Douglas? The six-man has to be because his elbow is still fucked right? Well, look at that I am already angry before the show has even begun, this is not a good sign.

Opening Segment

New Jack jumps Jack Victory in the parking lot, a call-back to their previous encounter where Jack Victory and The Dudleys jumped New Jack. Thanks? I needed to see that? Styles does his usual shtick before Terry Funk interrupts, proclaiming that he was not invited to the show and not Dreamer’s mystery partner. Dreamer tries to talk sense into Funk but Funk walks out on Dreamer, Funk was super convincing in his role as a mad man, there would be few better at being a psycho. Enjoyable but the constant swearing made things a little ridiculous.

BWO vs Danny Doring & Roadkill

From one of the hottest acts in the company to not appearing on pay per view until nearly 1999. And if I am not wrong, Blue Meanie would soon be in the WWF as a lackey for Goldust. Pay per view debut for Doring and Roadkill, Doring and Nova begin the match. Slap by Doring, side headlock by Doring. Nova is pulled by the hair down to the mat, lock-up. Side headlock by Doring, Funk is out on the ramp. Nova and Doring trade control before a facebuster by Nova. Tag to Blue Meanie, double snapmare and something in the ring. Funk is on our screens, I cannot see anything in the ring. Funk is guest timekeeper, Meanie and Roadkill are in the ring. Neckbreaker by Meanie, tag to Nova. Scoop slam, leapfrog leg drop with Doring elbowing Roadkill by mistake.

Double powerbomb by Nova & Meanie, Roadkill splashes Doring by mistake. The two shove one another, Doring is dropkicked into Roadkill. Scoop slam and leg drop by Meanie, Funk is on the apron. Meanie decks Funk after Funk slaps Meanie, Doring and Roadkill jump The BWO. Funk puts himself through a table, Bareback and neckbreaker by Doring & Roadkill. Funk is on the screen, Nova drop toeholds Roadkill. Roadkill nails a clothesline, running powerslam on Nova. Roadkill is on the top rope, top rope splash. Roadkill misses an elbow drop, Doring stops Nova with a G-Spot. Mounted punches by Doring, Leg Drop from the top rope for two.

Clubbing blows by Doring, Nova wants more from Doring. Nova battles back with a sledge o matic, Roadkill tags in with Meanie tagging in too. Suplex on Doring, Roadkill is stacked into Doring. Splash by Meanie, scoop slam and Meanie delivers his Meaniesault after a frog splash from Nova. Roadkill saves Doring, Roadkill misses a splash. Tornado DDT by Nova, Blue Light Special by The BWO for the win.

Was not digging the Funk interference, it took away from a lot of the action and Funk comes back at the end anyways to cause chaos. They could have done that to accomplish the same goal, we did not need constant camera cuts where I could not see much of the early portion of the match. When they were working, it was fine. Doring and Roadkill had some nice chemistry in there while Nova was going to very soon show that he could be an entertaining wrestler inside of that ring.

Winners: BWO over Doring & Roadkill via Blue Light Special!

Tracy Smothers W/ Tommy Rich/Little Guido/Ulf Herman vs Tommy Rogers

When I think of wrestlers and matches that will not work in front of an ECW audience, these are two near the top of that list. Rogers was a very good worker but in ECW, his style was not going to go over with these fans. It was proved when Candido and Rogers may have had one of the most boring matches I had ever seen inside that ring. Smothers was a good worker who had his best run in SMW, I cannot see Smothers pulling a match out of Tommy Rogers. This just seems like an awful idea, this is your Wrestlemania card?

Rogers’ promo before the match begins is even awkward, had me scratching my head as Rogers struggles to say the word ass as if this is too hardcore for him. Side headlock by Rogers, Ulf Herman trips Rogers. Smothers is tripped by Chetti, leaping calf kick by Smothers. Make it two, Smothers dances for everyone. Smothers eats a missile dropkick, Smothers and The FBI regroup before a baseball slide by Rogers. Elbows by Rogers, slingshot clothesline by Herman. Chetti hammers Herman, Smothers Superkicks Rogers with Little Guido nailing a side Russian legsweep. Rogers is choked and stomped in the corner, Little Guido attacks Rogers again.

Rogers fights back before a pumpkick from Smothers, two for Smothers. Little Guido and Smothers tag team Rogers while Rich distracts the referee. Reverse chinlock by Smothers, Rogers escapes and nails a Russian legsweep. Rogers misses an elbow, Smothers tries a splash but Rogers uses his knees to block. Right hands and knee lift by Rogers, dropkicks for Guido and Rich. Powerslam on Smothers, Rogers is on the top rope. Smothers dodges, Oklahoma roll but Rogers had his foot on the ropes. Smothers crossbodies but Rogers rolls through for two. School-boy by Rogers for two, low blow by Smothers. Pumphandle slam and Smothers gets two, Guido has the Italian flag. Tom—Kaze and Rogers picks up the win.

They kept it short, a lot of it was interference and that was for the best. I really did not want to see those two do a match and I was rewarded for my lack of faith as it looks like Heyman felt the same way about the two. Afterwards, Mabel AKA Viscera joins The FBI because why the fuck not, Ulf Herman is a beastly wrestling name though, screams superstar. Mabel and Herman have a table, Spike comes running to the ring. Mabel dives through a table as Spike dodges, Acid Drop on Herman. Mabel splashes Herman by mistake, low blow and Acid Drop with Spike pinning both. Fuck it whatever, this is all ridiculous.

Winner: Tommy Rogers over Tracy Smothers via Tomi-Kaze!

Jerry Lynn vs Lance Storm W/ Dawn Marie

Storm was kicked out of the Triple Threat when Bigelow pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes re-joining the group which meant there was no place for Storm. Angry at what took place, Storm would bring in Tammy Lynn Bytch to combat Candido and Sunny AKA Tammy Lynn Sytch. We have two referees in Tammy and Mikey Whipwreck, the reason I have no clue as the WWE network version has cut out why they were feuding at the time. Not like it will matter by the end of the match, I am sure there will be tonnes of interference and shenanigans that will make my head spin.

Storm and Lynn begin wrestling, trading holds. Shoulder block by Lynn, more nice wrestling with counters. Drop toehold by Lynn, arm-wringer by Lynn. Armbars follow with the fans caring more about seeing Tammy’s ass, series of near-falls which gives the fans what they want. Shoulder block by Lynn for two, once again same result. Drop toehold and front chancery by Storm, hammerlock counter by Lynn. Storm backs Lynn into the corner, elbows and chops by Storm. Lynn reverses and takes revenge, stomps in the corner. Storm does a Flair flip and is knocked into the guard rail, baseball slide into a headscissors by Lynn. Somersault senton by Lynn off the apron, Bytch rakes the back of Lynn. Springboard clothesline by Storm for two, Storm and Tammy have words.

Snapmare and knee drop by Storm, reverse chinlock by Storm. Whipwreck pulls up Tammy’s skirt, Whipwreck shall be a legend for this. Lynn escapes, crossbody for two. Headscissors by Lynn, Storm elevates Lynn to the apron. Bytch grabs Lynn’s feet, dropkick to the floor by Storm. Springboard clothesline by Storm to the floor, sunset flip out of the corner by Lynn. Two for Lynn, Storm has a powerbomb counter, full-nelson facebuster by Storm. Romero Special by Storm, dropkick and a kiss for Storm from Bytch. Lynn rolls through a  powerbomb for two, Superkick by Storm for two. Sleeper by Lynn, Storm counters for his own sleeper. Back suplex by Lynn, Lynn counters a hurricanrana for a powerbomb, two for Lynn.

Eye poke by Storm, Lynn nails a front suplex but Storm counters a piledriver for a pin. Pedigree by Lynn, two for Lynn. Storm is on the middle rope, Lynn dropkicks Storm to the floor. Crossbody to the floor by Lynn, Lynn is crotched on the top rope, super back suplex by Storm. Bytch shoves Tammy for no reason really, Bytch is pulled into the ring. Snapmare and we see Bytch stripped, she was beautiful though. Whipwreck shoves Tammy and Whippersnappers Bytch, Whippersnapper by Whipwreck on Lynn which leads to a two. Tammy Whippersnappers Storm, Whipwreck Whippersnappers Tammy. Storm is in a small package, Whipwreck turns over Storm and counts the pin.

Ten out of ten for Dawn Marie’s ass, that is my review. Kidding, Lynn has been a joy in this promotion as he seems to be the only man interested in having a good match. Storm was always a wrestler who did the same thing as opposed to being hardcore, put the two together and you have a fun wrestling match. Then, the overbooking came into it and there was so many different things going on, it was mental. I guess they accomplished what they wanted? But Jesus Christ, why does there have to be so much women violence going on? It was making me laugh how casually they would attack women in this promotion.

Winner: Lance Storm over Jerry Lynn via Shenanigans!

(ECW Tag Team Championship Match) The Dudley Boyz © W/ Big Dick/Sign Guy/Joel Gertner vs Masato Tanaka & Balls Mahoney

Tanaka and Mahoney are not 100%, suffering assaults and injuries at the hands of the champions, everyone has a chair in their hand to start of this match. The Dudleys jump Mahoney and Tanaka, Tanaka is double teamed before we are down to Tanaka and Bubba. Tanaka fires up on Bubba but Bubba uses a headbutt to take down Tanaka, tag to D-Von who nails a spinning reverse elbow. Right hands to Tanaka, snapmare and neck crank from D-Von. Bubba is in, right hands to Tanaka. Neckbreaker by Bubba for two, Bubba sends Tanaka into the turnbuckle. D-Von is legal, right hands by D-Von. Tanaka low blows D-Von, D-Von elbows his way out of a hold and plants Tanaka with a reverse DDT.

Second person mocking The People’s Elbow tonight, Mahoney is in. Frog Splash by Mahoney, Bubba saves the match. Bubba and Mahoney brawl, low blow by Mahoney. Superkick by Mahoney, D-Von is elevated onto Bubba. Tanaka leaps to the floor with a plancha, Mahoney decides it is fun time and before Mahoney can dive, Big Dick ends that fun. Big Dick pummels Tanaka while D-Von has Mahoney. Bubba planchas onto everyone, Roaring elbow by Tanaka on Bubba. Big Dick has Tanaka in the torture rack, Big Dick Driver on Tanaka. Rotten nails Big Dick with a chair, Sign Guy Dudley waffles Rotten as Gertner comes into the ring too. Sign Guy eats a Nutcracker Suite, Gertner chairshots Mahoney. No effect as Mahoney swings the chair, Gertner dodges as everyone has chairs again.

Mahoney and Tanaka use fighting spirit to withstand chair shots before The Dudleys hammer the two. Double Roaring Elbows with chairs smashing The Dudleys in the face, crooked referee is in the match. Jeff Jones eats a chair to the head, elbows and right hands by the challengers. Tanaka walks into a 3D, Tanaka kicks out of a 3D! The first man to do so, Rotten handcuffs Big Dick to the ringpost, Bubba and D-Von cannot believe what Tanaka has done, the two almost waffle one another. Tanaka and Mahoney have chairs, double whammy but The Dudleys kick out! Tornado DDT by Tanaka, Nutcracker Suite on the chair and The Dudleys still kick out! Double low blow by Dudleys, piledriver by D-Von on Mahoney. Tanaka eats a sit-out powerbomb, The Dudleys have tables. Sabu and RVD attack The Dudleys, The Dudleys are left on the tables. Double Frog Splashes through the table and we have new tag team champions.

For fuck sake, you let Tanaka kick out of the 3D, the Dudleys’ killshot. But you could not give the man a clean win, you could end it with a tornado DDT or a roaring elbow? You had to have more interference with RVD and Sabu running out to make the save for Tanaka and Mahoney, it was unnecessary and I cannot believe they would do this kind of shite, how did ECW get away with all of this for so long?

Winners: Mahoney & Tanaka over The Dudleys via Frog Splashes!

Tommy Dreamer & Mystery Partner vs Jack Victory & Justin Credible W/ Chastity/Nicole Bass/Jason/Lance Wright

The continued push of one Justin Credible, Credible had issues with Dreamer as Credible’s stock continued to rise in the ECW. Jake Roberts is Dreamer’s partner, that’s quite the interesting choice. Double high knee lift by Dreamer and Roberts, Victory is elevated to the floor as is Credible. Plancha by Dreamer, Jason grabs Dreamer’s foot off an Irish whip. Roberts and Credible are in the ring, inverted atomic drop and clothesline to the floor. Wright and Jason are massacred by Dreamer, Credible drops Dreamer on the guard rail (Never seen that before….). Dreamer is tossed to the ramp, Jason does the damage to Dreamer. Powerslam on the ramp by Credible, Dreamer is hurled into the ring.

Jumping DDT by Credible, reverse chinlock by Credible. Roberts and the referee have words, Jason is in the ring. Jason eats a Dreamer DDT, superplex by Dreamer. Credible has a chair, drop toehold into the chair Raven style. Credible missing a running low dropkick, Dreamer sends Credible groin first into the ringpost. Roberts stomps on Chastity? Cameraman missed it, Credible is caught for an Emerald Flowsion or Dreamer Driver as they call it here. Roberts is in, right hands to Credible and Jason. Short-arm clotheslines, Ron Price and The One Man Gang? What is going on here? Splashes for Roberts and Dreamer, New Jack’s music plays.

Kronus and New Jack are here, weapons everywhere as we descend into chaos. Lots of brawling and weapon shots, it is not a match anymore. It just keeps going, Dreamer nails a frog splash on Credible for two, Louie Spiccoli Driver on Credible. Roberts eats a low blow from Chastity, Dreamer piledrivers Chastity. Low blow on Bass by Roberts, DDT on Nicole Bass. Low blow on Roberts by Credible, Dreamer has a ladder. Credible is yanked off the top rope onto a ladder, DDT on the ladder by Roberts. Dreamer and Roberts win the match if you could even call it that at the end.

Yeah that was a load of shite, nice to see Roberts but the result is the same. Far too much overbooking making matches complicated that have no need to be so complicated. It just sucks me out of the whole thing, I do not know how people can enjoy this type of wrestling. Anyways, Dreamer beats Credible so where do they go from here? God only knows!

Winners: Tommy Dreamer & Jake Roberts over Justin Credible & Jack Victory via DDT!

The Triple Threat W/ Francine vs Sabu/Taz/Rob Van Dam W/ Bill Alfonso

RVD and Sabu stand at the ramp, The Dudleys commence the assault a receipt for earlier in the night. Tazplexes all around, Taz looks like a world-beater. Bigelow jumps Taz, RVD and Douglas brawl on the floor. Sabu and Candido are in the ring, RVD is sent over the guard rail. Bigelow and Taz slug it out, Pittsburgh Plunge on Sabu, leg drop by Candido. Sabu fights Douglas and Candido, Candido goes low on Sabu. Sabu elevates Candido to the floor, Douglas makes his move. Sabu dives onto Douglas and Candido, RVD springboards onto Douglas and Candido too. Triple Jump Moonsault by Sabu on Douglas for two, Bigelow catches Sabu and drops him with two inverted atomic drops.

Candido piledrivers Sabu, two for Douglas. Candido nails Sabu with a delayed vertical suplex, two for Candido. Tag to Douglas, shoulderbreaker from Douglas. Sabu reverses an Irish whip to the corner, springboard leg lariat for two. Arabian press with Douglas breaking up the pin, dropkick by Sabu. RVD comes in our ECW really going to try and enforce rules where the referee did not see the tag? That did not last long, Taz goes through a table off-screen. Bigelow slams RVD, Sabu dropkicks the leg of Douglas but Douglas tags Candido. Rocket launcher does not work as RVD enters illegally and nails a diving thrust kick on Candido. Back drop on Douglas, Frog Splash on Candido.

RVD avoids a powerbomb and nails a corkscrew leg drop on Bigelow, Taz tags in despite everyone throwing that out the window when they feel like it? Douglas throws Taz to the floor, RVD has Bigelow in the crowd. Taz watches Douglas from behind, RVD fucks up a boot to Bigelow. Douglas tries running from Taz, RVD somersault sentons into the crowd. Taz applies The Tazmission, Sabu has a chair. Sabu drops a leg drop on Taz and Douglas to pick up the win. Taz and Sabu are not happy, they are in one another’s face once again.

Definition of a clusterfuck, they needed to do one thing for this match: Have it like a regular six-man tag match with Taz going over strong. We do not get either from this match, the first part is brawling like everyone is everywhere and the cameras cannot keep up with the action if their life depended on capturing the footage. So, we have cuts to this and that missing spots and no real direction or flow to the match. Eventually, they hunker down and say fuck it, let’s do it right but that’s far too late to do so and they give up on that too within three minutes. Again, I am struggling to follow or see any resemblance to a story being told within the ring.

So, we come to the finish where Taz has not looked like the next champion but rather a whiney little bitch as Sabu got the pin on Douglas. Taz has been on a warpath for a year to get a championship match with Douglas and at the biggest show of the year for the company, they have Sabu who is not your next champion and they allow Sabu to pin Taz to reignite their feud. Why? Just why? Almost a year of action built up and you have nothing to show for it, Bigelow and Candido were afterthoughts as was your God damn champion. I hardly saw RVD the whole match, it was bizarre. Terrible end to a terrible show really.

Winners: Team Sabu over Triple Threat via Arabian Facebuster!

That was ECW’s November to Remember 1998, that was so disappointing. Not one match where I could shake my head and say that was good because there was always interference or nonsense taking place in that ring. Your main event for your biggest show of the year was a joke, a six-man tag with no real direction. Your ending is a tease for a feud that has nothing to do with your world champion, your world champion is starting to feel a lot like Goldberg, Douglas is hardly defending the belt while on pay per view. There is no setup for his next challenger, Taz is distracted so a year’s worth of build is not put on the backburner. Everything in between had to have overbooked garbage, brawls and finishes that made the wrestlers look weak and inferior.  This was not a good show, this was a tough one to get through. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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