Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is more freakishly bizarre than whatever the Youtube videos are that Teddy Hart makes! It’s the WWF Royal Rumble of 1990, 30 of the biggest superstars that Vince Mcmahon tells us about before the show begins, the rumble is absolutely stacked with many feuds that had been taking place at the time. Hogan and Perfect, Roberts and Dibiase and more. Rounding out the card we have some fun matches with The Genius taking on Brutus The Barber Beefcake and a Brother Love segment with Sherri and Sapphire. As I stated previously, 1989 was my favourite year thus far due to the stacked roster and it looks like 1990 could be even better!
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers W/ Jimmy Hart vs The Bushwhackers
These two had been battling for months at this stage, love The Rougeaus for their gimmick and ability inside of the ring. Bushwhackers are entertainers at this point in their careers but damn, they get the crowd going. However, what is on Jacque’s face? A beard and a thick one at that? Cest tres bizarre! Ok, this match starts with an uncomfortable amount of stalling, some hugging gets heat with the fans for The Rougeaus. Raymond and Butch start, Raymond jumps Butch. In comes Jacque for a cheap shot, Luke scares away Jacque. Raymond applies a sleeper, Butch counters by running into the buckle, Butch bites Raymond and the referee. The Bushwhackers nail a clothesline but Jacque avoids The Battering Ram.
Regroup time for The Rougeau Brothers, Luke bites Jacque. Leapfrogs from Jacque, Luke clotheslines Raymond off the apron, Butch clotheslines Jacque. Bushwhackers are in control, Raymond jumps Luke from behind. Jacque distracts the referee, Raymond chokes Luke with the tag rope. Two for Jacque, tag to Raymond. Savate kick by Raymond, hard Irish whip to the buckle. Luke is thrown to the floor and attacked as Raymond taunts the crowd, Luke bites back at Raymond but no tag to Luke. Cheap shot from Jacque, Raymond covers for two. Flying reverse elbow from Jacque, tag to Raymond. Luke is thrown into the buckle, double stun-gun from The Rougeaus.
Reverse chin-lock from Raymond, Luke elbows his way out but Jacque prevent the tag. Jacque bites Luke in the corner, abdominal stretch from Jacque. Jacque is using Raymond for leverage, tag to Raymond. Reverse chin-lock from Raymond, tag to Jacque who misses a running splash as Luke blocks with his knees. Tag to Butch, clotheslines and knee-lifts. Battering Ram is blocked as Jimmy Hart trips Luke, The Rougeaus dropkick The Bushwhackers for two. Boston crab by Raymond, Jacque runs the rope but is tripped by Luke. Battering Ram sends Jacque into Raymond for the win.
Not a technical masterpiece by any stretch but the crowd never gives up on The Bushwhackers though. That leads to a match carried by that crowd alone, The Rougeaus are hated with their shtick causing the fans to boo heavily but overall, not the worst opening match I have seen by a disappointment from the last two pay per views.
Winners: The Bushwhackers over The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers via Battering Ram!
The Genius vs Brutus The Barber Beefcake
Hogan’s best friend takes on Perfect’s best friend, Genius and Beefcake trade taunts and mocking poses. Lock-up, Beefcake pushes back Genius eye rake from Genius. Rights to the ribs and face from Genius, eye rake before an inverted atomic drop from Beefcake. Lock-up, shots from Genius. Irish whip to the buckle, Genius misses a dropkick. Beefcake steps on Genius’ fingers, Genius powders to the floor. Lock-up, Genius pulls the hair and lands shoulder thrusts to the ribs. Irish whip, Genius lowers the head and wham, huge kick from Beefcake. Low shot and dropkick from Genius for two, elbows to the back of the head.
Eye rake from Genius, schoolboy for two. Scoop slam from Genius, Genius climbs to the top rope. Beefcake blocks the middle rope axe handle, Irish whip and a shot to the mid-section. Scoop slam and face stomp, Irish whip and Sleeper but Genius elbows his way out but the referee is wiped out as Beefcake pushes Genius into Earl Hebnar. Genius nails rights and lefts, Irish whip reversal from Beefcake and The Sleeper is locked in! Beefcake attacks Genius with the scissors before Perfect comes down and attacks Beefcake. Perfect-Plex but the referee has saw it, we have a disqualification.
Slow to start for sure, a lot of this was character work from Genius but have to give credit to Genius for the heel work throughout the match, eye rakes, hair pulling and low shots from The Genius. All appreciated by me but Beefcake is very over with the audience but there is nothing more to the man, not big comeback, awkward connection with his offense, Beefcake seems to have been very lucky with how his gimmick has carried him in the WWF.
(Submission Match) Greg The Hammer Valentine vs Rugged Ronnie Garvin
These two will settle the score, Garvin had to retire due to a loss to Valentine but as a referee and guest announcer, Valentine antagonized Garvin and Garvin retaliated which led to Garvin coming back to the WWF. We start hot, Garvin pummels Valentine on the floor and in the ring, Valentine chops Garvin over and over. Garvin chops back, massive left and Valentine flops to the ground. Valentine goes to the floor, more jabbing from the two. Valentine elbows Garvin down, Garvin dodges a second elbow.
Chop and down goes Garvin, headbutt to the mid-section from Valentine. Cover but you can only submit your opponent, rights and lefts from Valentine. Garvin fights back and a massive headbutt from Garvin leaves both men rocked, Garvin’s piledriver is blocked. They trade more punches, lock-up. Valentine gains control and chops Garvin over and over, Irish whip from Garvin and they collide heads. Garvin blocks a figure four, roll-up for no reason. Valentine nails a massive chop, knee drop to the head.
Knee across the throat from Valentine, Valentine calls for the end. Figure Four using the shin-guard AKA The Heart Breaker. Garvin is in the hold, no pain on Garvin’s face. Garvin is using The Hammer Jammer to block the hold, shot to the ribs and they are locked in the small package. Canadian Back-breaker from Valentine, elbow drop from Valentine. Choke hold from Valentine, Garvin fights back with a chop. Headbutt and Garvin applies the Indian Death-lock, Valentine escapes and they battle on the floor. Valentine reverses another piledriver, back drop on the floor. Shoulder thrusts in the corner from Valentine, whip to the buckle is reversed by Garvin. Garvin is caught in the tree of woe, Valentine works the leg.
The referee frees Garvin, chops from Valentine. The two collide in the middle of the ring again off an Irish whip, Jimmy Hart takes off The Hammer Jammer from Garvin’s leg. Valentine nails a back-breaker, Figure Four from Valentine with The Heart-Breaker. Valentine uses the ropes for the leverage, referee asks Valentine to break the hold. Garvin hobbles around the ring, leg stretches from Valentine. Figure four into a small package, no pin-falls as established at the beginning you twats! Valentine is on the top rope, Garvin hurls Valentine off the top rope. Garvin takes off The Heart-Breaker, left hand and Valentine is caught in the ropes, Garvin has the Heart-Breaker! Whack to the head of Valentine, and a Sharpshooter from Garvin and Valentine taps.
Sweet Jesus, that felt like a lifetime! Multiple pin attempts in a submission match? I understand head of the moment forgetting the rules once but at least 12 attempts at pin-falls? Are they dumb? Do they have five second memories? A satisfying conclusion to this month spanning feud but it took an eternity to get there, I have no interest in seeing either of these men wrestle at this point in their careers, they have had classic matches but those were in days gone by!
Winner: Rugged Ronnie Garvin over Greg Valentine via Sharpshooter!
Jim Duggan vs The Big Bossman W/ Slick
The two trade blows, clotheslines and shoulder blocks by Duggan, Bossman trips Duggan to the floor. Lefts and rights by Duggan but Bossman sends Duggan into the ringpost. Duggan is laying against the ring-post, Bossman tries a splash and Duggan ducks. Duggan goes after the shoulder, elbows to the arm. Bossman whips Duggan to the buckle, corner splash from Bossman. Enzuigiri by Bossman, back rake by Bossman. Big rights from Bossman, Bossman sends Duggan into the buckle. Duggan rallies with rights and lefts, Bossman beats down Duggan with a foot choke. Slick chokes Duggan with something from his pocket.
Bossman drops his weight on Duggan’s chest, reverse chin-lock from Bossman. Duggan fights out but eats a massive knee from Bossman, choke from Bossman. Bossman clubs down Duggan, another chin-lock from Bossman. Knees from Bossman for two, Duggan throws a right but Bossman knocks back Duggan. Bear-hug from Bossman, Duggan claps the ears to escape the hold as Bossman continues to apply pressure. Headbutts from Duggan and Bossman collapses onto Duggan, Duggan places a foot on the ropes to avoid a pin.
Both men choke one another, Bossman wins that war. Rights and lefts, Duggan lands a haymaker, Bossman is rocked against the ropes. Clothesline to the floor from Duggan, headbutt from Bossman who re-enters the ring. Bossman misses an elbow, rights from Duggan. Ten punches in the corner, Irish whip to the buckle but Duggan misses a splash. Stiff clothesline from Bossman, Bossman climbs to the top rope and misses a massive splash. Shoulder tackle with both men down, Slick grabs Duggan from the apron. Bossman nails Slick by mistake but Slick throws Bossman the nightstick, Duggan is waffled with the nightstick and wins as the referee has caught Bossman in the back. Duggan gets his heat back with an attack with the 2x4 after the bell.
Damn, this show has nose-dived quite hard. Valentine and Garvin was a slow paced match with little interest for me and this only adds to my frustrations. The chin-locks were very frequent to hide being blown up, could have done more to suck us into the match but they just sucked the life out of me on this one. Thankfully, it’s Rumble time!
Winner: Jim Duggan over The Big Bossman via DQ!
Royal Rumble Match
30 men, one winner! Only way to win is to throw your opponents over the top rope. All of the big names of the WWF, two men to begin and wrestlers to enter at regular timed intervals.
Entrants 1 to 5
This is the way I break it up to make it easy to follow, I cover the action for 5 entrants at a time, it’s not difficult as most of the time someone comes in and off to a corner they go and do barely anything until the next entrant, these early rumbles are not as nearly as co-ordinated as the rumbles we are familiar with today. Anyways, we get Rumble promos which all kick ass, it’s fantastic! Some are cheesy but I love all of it! Number 1 is Ted Dibiase who is not happy while number 2 is Koko B Ware!
Dibiase jumps Koko, lots of stomps. Whip and elbow by Dibiase, stomp to the face. Whip to the buckle, Koko is rammed into the turnbuckle. Koko is shaking it off, Koko blocks it and rakes the eyes. Dropkick, headbutt and jabs. Mongolian chop and throat thrust, big headbutt. Dibiase is on the ropes and Koko charges for a clothesline, Dibiase back drops Koko to the floor. Nice to see Koko on pay per view, a decent showing for the small time that Koko was in there.
Koko B Ware Has Been Eliminated By Ted Dibiase!
Number 3 is Marty Jannetty, Jannetty comes in hot with right hands and a dropkick, whip to the buckle but Dibiase blocks with a boot. Massive clothesline, Dibiase climbs to the middle rope. Jannetty avoids the axe handle, massive right hands. Whip and flying reverse elbow, Dibiase rakes the eyes. Jannetty reverses an Irish whip, O Connor roll but Dibiase holds onto the ropes and ducks a flying crossbody from Jannetty, Jannetty tumbles to the floor!
Marty Jannetty Has Been Eliminated By Ted Dibiase!
Number 4 is Jake The Snake Roberts, the man who Dibiase has assaulted and nearly ran out of the business. Dibiase jumps Roberts on the floor, Million Dollar Dream but Roberts sends Dibiase into the ring-post. In the ring, short-arm clothesline by Roberts, DDT time but Dibiase back drops Roberts. Another DDT attempt but Dibiase backs Roberts into the corner. Knee-lift counter from Roberts, number 5 is Randy Savage. Clothesline from Roberts on Savage, Dibiase avoids a knee-lift in the corner and Savage chokes Roberts. Savage and Dibiase combine to punish Roberts. Axe handle from Dibiase, Double axe handle from Savage. Roberts is tied up in the ropes, rights by Dibiase.
Entrants 6 to 10
Number 6 is Roddy Piper, that’s a welcome surprise to this match. Piper double clotheslines Savage and Dibiase, Piper and Savage pair off in the corner. Roberts stuns Dibiase with left jabs, Piper chokes Savage with his headband. Inverted atomic drop by Roberts on Dibiase, Piper and Savage struggle to eliminate one another. Number 7 is The Warlord, Roberts stuns Savage with left jabs. Warlord goes after Roberts, Piper and Warlord square off as Savage and Dibiase try to eliminate The Snake. Another axe handle from Savage, choke with the boot by Savage. Number 8 is Bret Hart, the ring is beginning to fill. Bret headbutts down Dibiase, Warlord takes a clubbing from The Hitman. Warlord eats a boot from Bret, Piper takes a breather before clotheslining Warlord with Bret.
Warlord rakes the eyes of Piper, Bret tries scooping Savage over while Roberts claws at Dibiase. Savage attacks Piper from behind as Roberts looks to dump out Dibiase. Number 9 is Bad News Brown, Dibiase eats a short-arm clothesline but as the DDT is coming up, Savage clotheslines Roberts to the floor, an absolute shocker!
Jake Roberts Has Been Eliminated By Randy Savage!
Piper almost dumps out Dibiase but Savage saves Dibiase. Bret and Warlord are battling near the ropes, Brown has Dibiase in the corner. Savage and Piper are fighting and at number 10, here comes Dusty Rhodes. Elbow to Savage, whip and a back elbow. Savage takes a run at Dusty but Dusty back drops Savage to the floor, The American Dream is running wild!
Randy Savage Has Been Eliminated By Dusty Rhodes!
Entrants 11 to 15
It settles down after the elimination, everyone working in a corner with a few elimination attempts. Number 11 is Andre The Giant, Warlord goes after Andre. Bad idea as Andre dumps out Warlord with absolute ease!
Warlord Has Been Eliminated By Andre The Giant!
Andre squishes Dusty and Piper in the corner, shoulder thrusts to Dusty and Piper who becomes a sandwich in Andre’s warpath. Dusty and Piper fight back but Andre shakes it all off, number 12 is The Red Rooster. Dusty and Rooster square off while Piper and Brown are battling now, headbutt by Brown. Brown tries a clothesline but Piper back drops Brown over, Brown is pissed and pulls Piper out of the ring, both men battle to the back!
Bad News Brown Has Been Eliminated By Roddy Piper!
Roddy Piper Has Been Eliminated By Bad News Brown!
One little scuffle in the rumble and that’s how we have our match between the two at Wrestlemania. Andre batters Rooster in the ring, Dibiase and Dusty are in the opposite corner. Here comes number 13 which is Ax of Demoliton! Andre hurls Rooster over in the background, Andre is dominating.
Red Rooster Has Been Eliminated By Andre The Giant!
Bret and Dusty are trying to toss out Dibiase but a little help from Virgil and some genius from Dibiase, keep him in the match. Andre is tied up in the ropes, Dusty and Ax batter Andre. Number 14 is Haku, Haku batters Ax. Headbutts for Dusty too, Dibiase nails an axe handle on Bret. Dusty shakes off the attacks of Haku, jabs and massive elbow to the head. Ax and Andre continue to brawl, Haku nails a superkick on Ax. Number 15 is Smash, two tag teams in the ring now, Demolition batter Andre.
Entrants 16 to 20
Haku eats an elbow from Demolition, Demolition go back to attacking Andre. Andre bangs Smash into Ax, Dusty squares off with Haku but tag team partner Andre helps out Haku. Number 16 is Akeem, one half of The Twin Towers. Akeem mugs for the camera before getting down to business, Akeem attacks Andre. Demolition continue to attack Haku and Andre, Demolition double clothesline Andre over the top rope.
Andre The Giant Has Been Eliminated By Demolition!
Bret Hart Has Been Eliminated By Ted Dibiase?
Bret has been eliminated as Andre was thrown out, camera did not put any focus on it! Number 17 is Jimmy Snuka, Dusty and Dibiase are still brawling in the corner while Snuka manages to headbutt Akeem out of the ring with a flying headbutt, can’t say I saw that one coming!
Akeem Has Been Eliminated By Jimmy Snuka!
Number 18 is Dino Bravo, Bravo and Haku do battle which is odd for two heels to just start brawling, Snuka saves Haku. Demolition batter down Dibiase, double elbow from Demolition. Number 19 is Earthquake! Smash and Dusty attack Earthquake but noting is stomping Earthquake, Earthquake clotheslines Dusty out of the match! Ax tries going to war with Earthquake, bad idea as Earthquake dumps out Ax!
Dusty Rhodes Has Been Eliminated By Earthquake!
Ax Has Been Eliminated By Earthquake!
Earthquake punishes Haku in the corner, Smash clotheslines Bravo. Dibiase and Snuka are battling in one corner, number 20 is Jim Neidhart. Neidhart goes after Earthquake, bad idea but Smash and Haku join in the fight. Anything to get out Earthquake, Snuka and Dibiase join in too! Six men to eliminate Earthquake, could be considered an impressive showing but it was only two eliminations for Earthquake!
Earthquake Has Been Eliminated By Everyone!
Entrants 21 to 25
Number 21 is The Ultimate Warrior, Warrior sprints down to the ring. Bravo rakes the eyes and nails an inverted atomic drop but Warrior back drops Bravo to the floor.
Dino Bravo Has Been Eliminated By The Ultimate Warrior!
Everyone attacks Warrior, things slow down as Warrior and Neidhart chop the shit out of Dibiase. Neidhart and Warrior battle as Dibiase flops to the ground. Number 22 is The Model Rick Martel, Martel chops and attempts to throw out Smash. Haku back drops Smash to the apron, Smash hangs on before a superkick sends Smash crashing to the floor.
Smash Has Been Eliminated By Haku!
Number 23 is Tito Santana, Santana goes after Martel. Martel meets the turnbuckle multiple times, Haku whips Warrior but Warrior ducks the clothesline and nails a clothesline of his own. Dibiase hangs on thanks to Virgil’s helping hands. Number 24 is Honky Tonk Man, Dibiase and Martel are attacking Warrior with Neidhart helping to make the save but the crafty Dibiase dumps out Neidhart! Warrior clotheslines Dibiase to the floor off an Irish whip, fantastic effort from Dibiase!
Jim Neidhart Has Been Eliminated By Ted Dibiase!
Ted Dibiase Has Been Eliminated By The Ultimate Warrior!
Number 25 is Hulk Hogan, Snuka goes to work on Hogan. Hogan sends Snuka to the ropes and a clothesline spells the end of Snuka. Clothesline and boot to Haku who sails over to the floor. Warrior dumps out Santana in the meantime as Martel manages to hold onto the ropes.
Haku & Jimmy Snuka Have Been Eliminated By Hulk Hogan!
Tito Santana Has Been Eliminated By The Ultimate Warrior!
Honky has Hogan, Martel has Warrior. Honky chokes Hogan with his t-shirt, Martel is rammed into the turnbuckle by The Ultimate Warrior.
Entrants 26 to 30
Shawn Michaels comes in, Hogan dumps out Honky Tonk Man. Warrior dumps out Martel and Michaels in a matter of seconds, poor Michaels. We have a stare-down, it is just Warrior and Hogan. What is going to happen next?
Rick Martel & Shawn Michaels Have Been Eliminated By The Ultimate Warrior!
Honky Tonk Man Has Been Eliminated By Hulk Hogan!
Number 27 is Barbarian, Hogan and Warrior have clotheslined one another with both down as Barbarian enters the ring. Elbows to both by Barbarian, Irish whip and boot to Hogan. Number 28 is Rick Rude, Rude goes after Warrior. Dropkick from Rude to Warrior, Rude and Barbarian almost dump out Hogan. Warrior makes the save, Hogan begins Hulking Up as Warrior is almost dumped out by Rude and Barbarian, Hogan smashes into Rude and Barbarian and out goes Warrior, shocker!
Ultimate Warrior Has Been Eliminated By Hulk Hogan!
Number 29 is Hercules, Hercules combines with Hogan to smash Rude and Barbarian. Hercules has Rude in one corner, Barbarian and Hogan in the other. Hogan slams Barbarian and elbows him for good measure, Hogan goes to the corner. Barbarian rakes the eyes of Hogan, Hogan drills Barbarian with an axe bomber. Number 30 is Mr. Perfect, Perfect goes right after Hogan. Barbarian boots Rude by accident, Hercules dumps Barbarian to the floor. Hercules eats a dropkick from Perfect and a clothesline from Rude for the elimination!
Barbarian Has Been Eliminated By Hercules!
Hercules Has Been Eliminated By Rick Rude!
Perfect and Rude try to double team Hogan, Hogan ducks Rude’s right hand. Rude is whipped to the ropes by Hogan as Perfect teeters on the apron, Perfect pulls down the ropes and Rude goes sailing over the top rope!
Rick Rude Has Been Eliminated By Mr. Perfect!
Perfect pummels Hogan, Perfect-Plex but Hogan shakes it off. Right hands, catapult into the ring-post, clothesline by Hogan. Perfect is grabbed by the head and Hogan dumps Perfect to the floor, Hulk Hogan wins The Royal Rumble!
The best Rumble so far for sure! Nothing better than a Rumble with angles sprinkled throughout. So, we have Piper and Brown eliminating one another which leads to Piper vs Brown at Wrestlemania, we have Demolition do battle with The Colossal Connection Haku and Andre, Demolition dump out Andre and Haku dumps out Smash which is all good to build to their match. Santana going after Martel was good stuff and the stare-down between Hogan and Warrior, the tease as those two are going to battle one another was great stuff. You also have Dusty and Savage, Dibiase and Roberts and an impressive showing for Earthquake. This feels like thee first proper Royal Rumble where they knew what they wanted to achieve, it has star-power all over the match, it does not get dull and there are angles and little feuds throughout a Royal Rumble match that I will rate very highly!
Winner: Hulk Hogan!
That was WWF’s Royal Rumble 1990, a good showing from the WWF to kick off 1990 but not a great pay per view like Summerslam or Survivor Series 1989. I felt the dull moments on this card were really dull and I would point that down to fatigue. The card kicks off with a match that is all gimmick, you hate The Rougeaus and loves The Bushwhackers. The Rougeaus can work and are very entertaining while The Bushwhackers are broken down but the fans eat up all their shit, everyone gets their spots in and it’s a fun time had by all, solid stuff. Beefcake vs Genius was more of the same, the gimmicks were the stars of the match and Genius came to play big time, heel antics for days from Lanny Poffo provide an entertaining match and we have the setup for a feud between Perfect and Beefcake!
Things nose-dive tremendously after this point, I like Valentine and Garvin and enjoy their work, I hated this. 16 minutes was far too long and the multiple pin-falls in a submission match I mean come on, it just dragged and dragged. Sadly, the finish was quite good but it took forever to get there. Things did not pick up with Duggan and Bossman, usually enjoy their work but Duggan getting battered with no comeback and lots of chinlocks made 7 minutes seem like 17 and it took me out of the pay per view. Only for the pay per view to come roaring back with the best Rumble up to that date, felt big and important with all these feuds and WWF Superstars, I thought things were really going to kick off hot for 1990 but mid to late 1989 seems to still be the WWF at the peak of its powers. So, this was a good show and worth seeking out for the Rumble match! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!