Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet with less direction than the AEW Women’s Division! TNA Against All Odds 2007! After taking a mental break from TNA due to their booking, I have decided to dip my feet back in those dangerous waters. Hold you applause, I know you wish to congratulate me on my bravery but I do it all for you. Christian Cage vs Kurt Angle for the NWA/TNA World Heavyweight Championship. The promo is all about these two, it seems Scott Steiner has returned in the meantime how lucky we are! No hype for any other match on the card, I assume Rhino vs Styles will be taking place as well as Chris Sabin vs Jerry Lynn and Sting confronting Abyss. What will happen? Who knows! Let’s get it on!
(Little Italy Street Fight Match) Team 3D vs LAX W/ Konnan
The fuck is this match? Whatever, here comes LAX jumping Team 3D. Tables and t-shirts go flying, Devon is being choked while Homicide cracks Ray with a lead pipe. Weapons are all around the ring, Devon is smashed with the chair. Homicide wipes out Ray with a beautiful middle rope tope con hilo. Hernandez tries a suicide dive over the top rope, Devon cracks Hernandez with a chair. Ray back drops Homicide into the ring-post. Homicide ducks a chair shot and cracks Ray with the chair. Homicide tries a crossbody dive but Ray catches Homicide and nails a massive fallaway slam. Devon is battering Hernandez with a trash can lid.
Ray was getting a lap-dance, yes women in cages gave him a lap-dance mid-match. Ray’s stupidity leads to LAX dominating Team 3D. Hernandez stun-guns Devon with the help of Homicide for a two. Hernandez and Ray are on the floor, both men are down with a clothesline. Devon eats a trash can to the back of the head, Homicide has a pizza cutter. Devon whips Homicide to the buckle, Devon misses a splash and Homicide cuts the head of Devon. Ray has a cheese-grater, Homicide is cracked with the grater. Homicide and Devon are busted open, blood everywhere brother. Wait a minute, 4 or 5 LAX amigos come in and attack Team 3D. Team 3D fight off the heels, Homicide is slammed and we have the Wassup Headbutt. Ray calls for a table, Team 3D are here to end this one in a hurry.
Devon pulls out a table, Hernandez misses a clothesline. Scoop slam by Ray, here comes more Latino Nation members. Devon takes out the members, Homicide nails a diving hurricanrana on Ray, Hernandez nails Ray with a spinebuster through the table Devon brought into the ring. Diving Elbow drop from Homicide for two, Devon tosses Hernandez to the floor. Saving Grace on Homicide for a close two. Devon places Homicide on the top rope, The Latino Nation prevent a superplex. Hernandez is up, massive Border Toss on Devon and LAX steal the win in the Little Italy Street Fight.
While the match concept was cheesy as hell and a lap-dance in a middle of a very heated feud is just bizarre, I did enjoy this match. A very east on the eyes opening match with Hernandez showing his impressive athleticism as usual and Homicide bringing the fire. Team 3D can brawl and they know enough to have some good spots mixed in there to keep the crowd hot during this match, good stuff for a cheesy hardcore match.
Winners: LAX over Team 3D via Border Toss!
Senshi vs Austin Starr
These two are facing off as Starr slapped the face of Senshi at the end of Kevin Nash’s tournament, Senshi goes right after Starr. Rights and lefts but Starr fires back with forearms. Whip to the buckle, Senshi reverses and nails a hip-toss and a scoop slam. Flashing Elbow for two, Senshi misses a splash but Starr wastes time admiring his dodge. Chop and dropkick by Senshi for two, Starr begs for mercy and sends Senshi to the apron. Eye rake and stun-gun from Starr, Heat-Seeking Missile from Starr. Slingshot atomico and strut from Starr, massive flying elbow for two.
Senshi is placed on the turnbuckle, back rakes from Starr. Three times from Starr, Starr chokes Senshi using the middle rope. Starr uses his hamstring to choke Senshi, Senshi begins to fight back on his knees but Starr grabs Senshi and elbows his head repeatedly. Massive chop from Starr, scoop slam and pendulum elbow misses. Here comes the kicks of Senshi but Starr nails a massive gut-wrench powerbomb out of nowhere for two. To the corner, Starr slaps Senshi over and over. Elbow to the head, Senshi ducks clotheslines from Starr and nails a massive forearm. Kicks by Senshi, whip off the ropes. Spinning sole butt, delayed kick from Senshi.
Cover for two, chops by Senshi machine gun style. Whip reversed by Starr, Senshi nails a springboard enzuigiri for two. Starr blocks a suplex, Senshi chops back. Senshi misses a running knee, Starr tries for the brainbuster but Senshi nails a rolling kappu kick. Out of the corner, Starr clamps on a crossface chicken-wing. Senshi escapes, John Wu dropkick. Warrior’s Way is avoided by Starr, Starr sends Senshi into the turnbuckle. Crossface Chicken-Wing into an O Connor roll using the tights, Senshi rolls through and bridges over Starr to win. Starr throws a tantrum but this match is over.
That was alright, these are two awesome talents but the angle is flat and the match feels like a match that is second on the card. No counters for counters, no working of body parts. Starr rips at Senshi’s face for some good heat ut it never kicks into second gear, it is just a match and something I will have no memory of ten minutes from now.
Winner: Senshi over Austin Starr via Bridging Pin!
(Tuxedo Match) Big Fat Oily Guy vs Christy Hemme
You win by stripping your opponent, poor Christy was fighting for respect while Kip James was telling Hemme to suck his dick essentially. Somehow, Hemme is the heel and anyways, this is a match. Hemme strips off the shirt of Oily Guy, Hemme tries a splash on Oily Guy but Oily Guy gets her pants. Knee by Hemme and Hemme misses a splash. Oily Guy slams Hemme but misses a splash, another knee by Hemme. Sunset flip fails and Oily Guy drops himself on Hemme. Hemme low blows Oily Guy and strips Oily Guy. Hemme is on the microphone, Hemme berates management and TNA. Here comes the music of VKM, prime dickhead Kip James is here to laugh at Hemme in her underwear. Kip James decides to strip Hemme, humiliating Hemme in the process. Yeah, this is rough looking back on, it is always going to be and it is crazy to think this is on the same show as Gail Kim looking to actually begin a women’s division.
Winner: Christy Hemme over Big Fat Oily Guy via Stripping!
Lance Hoyt W/ David Eckstein vs Dale Torborg W/ A.J. Pierzynski
Is this just a gimmick pay per view? Baseball match? Anyways, Torborg aka The Kiss Demon is wrestling Lance Hoyt, Hoyt has cooled off massively barely being featured near anything meaningful in terms of angles. Big tall dudes and terrible fashion, Hoyt sees the cheap shot of Torborg coming. Right hands, dropkicks and a flapjack. Clothesline to the floor, AJ distracts Hoyt. Hoyt ignores AJ until AJ low blows Hoyt. Eckstein is with the referee, AJ gets in more shots on Hoyt. Torborg pummels Hoyt, whip and a clothesline. Whip and corner clothesline, massive suplex from Torborg. Hoyt battles back before missing a corner splash, Hoyt is whipped to the corner and climbs the buckle, massive diving clothesline on Torborg. Flying forearm, big boot from Hoyt. AJ is on the apron, chair to the back of Hoyt behind the referee’s back. Torborg gets the win but the referee reverses the decision based on Eckstein’s testimony. Torborg is hit with the chair by Eckstein, shitty F-5 from Hoyt for the win.
Mercifully, it was short but by God was it shit. Best part of the match was that AJ guy, complete tool played his role to perfection. Torborg and Hoyt suck inside of that ring.
Winner: Lance Hoyt over Torborg via Terrible F-5!
(Motor City Chain Match) AJ Styles vs Rhino
Awkward babyface Rhino takes on newly minted heel AJ Styles, Styles is fitting into the role like a glove but this feud has done anything but excite me. Rhino has been made look like a goon at every turn, Styles always out-smarting The War Machine. To make this chain match even more convoluted, we have weapons hanging from a pole on two ring-posts. A chain and a nightstick, Rhino tries to rope in Styles. Styles and Rhino have a game of chase, Rhino catches Styles and batters Styles into guard-rail and ring-post. Rhino throws Styles into the ring, Styles baseball slides Rhino. Styles pulls Rhino into the ring-apron.
Styles takes control, sending Rhino into the guard-rail and raining down with closed fists. Rhino and Styles fight over the chain, Styles is pulled into the ring-post. Whip to the buckle, Rhino ducks and wraps the chains around Styles’ nether regions. Leg drop by Rhino, Styles is whipped to the buckle. Kick off for Rhino, Styles wants an axe handle but Rhino nails a belly to belly suplex. Gore? No Styles dropkicks Rhino down! Styles chokes Rhino with the chain, Rhino breaks free but eats a rope assisted clothesline. Styles reaches for the key, Rhino pulls down Styles. Styles tees off with kicks on Rhino, Rhino is floored by the kicks.
Styles sets up and connects with his Flying Forearm. Cover for two, Styles climbs for the key but Rhino pulls down Styles once again with Styles landing hard on his knees. Rhino staggers to his feet, whip by Styles which Rhino answers with a flying clothesline. Whip to the buckle, shoulder thrust from Rhino. Whip with a spinebuster by Rhino, two for Rhino. Rhino climbs and bring down the nightstick. Styles kicks Rhino low and yanks the chain through Rhino’s private parts. Styles has the nightstick and cracks Rhino repeatedly. Styles wants the key, Styles drags Rhino closer to the pole. Nightstick choke from Styles, Styles has the key.
Freedom for Styles, massive splash from Styles. Styles decides to leave the arena, Styles is free but Styles decides that Rhino deserves an ass-whipping. Styles ties Rhino to the ring ropes, Styles dangles the key in front of Rhino. Pele Kick from Styles, Styles walks too close to Rhino and Rhino nails a massive Gore! Rhino asks Hebnar for the key, Hebnar obliges and Rhino is about to free himself. Rhino nails a spineuster, Rhino wants a table. Rhino places the table in the corner, spinebuster through the table but no, Styles rolls through. Belly to belly suplex, Styles ducks the gore! Cover and Styles beats Rhino.
So, after I complained about Rhino being made to look like a dipshit, you have him knock himself out off a Gore? Well, congratulations! Rhino is now the dumbest wrestler in this promotion, no reason to cheer for this guy who constantly screws himself over at every turn. Hopefully, that is it as Styles has beaten Rhino at every turn, the chain hardly factored in when everything was said and done. Bit of choking here and there but it was rather boring.
Winner: AJ Styles over Rhino via Gore!
(TNA X-Division Championship Match) Chris Sabin © vs Jerry Lynn
43 Years Old Jerry Lynn! Jerry Lynn is 43 Years Old did you know that? I get it guys, we are questioning whether Lynn has what it takes anymore but must we hammer home the age at every turn? Also, how does that make Sabin look y comparison? Sabin can barely beat a 43 year old man, what a champion right? Like could you bury yourself anymore? Anyways, Sabin stole the championship from Daniels and Lynn in their triple threat. Sabin has shown some great charisma with this heel turn but this angle is muck.
Side headlock and shoulder from Lynn, forearm and shoulder blocks by Lynn. Piledriver attempt and Sabin scrambles out of the ring, we eventually reset with Lynn chasing Sabin out of the ring. Sabin stretches on the floor, side headlock by Lynn. Sabin nails a hip-toss, but Lynn has the headlock again. Foot stomp from Sabin, side headlock from the champion. Lynn wriggles free and throws down the champion, statement made from Lynn. Sabin claims the hair was pulled, boot and side headlock from Sabin. Lynn has the top wristlock, Sabin grabs the hair and brings down Lynn. Referee is focusing a lot on the hair pull and the stalling from Sabin is giving me a house show feel.
Sabin misses a plancha as Lynn fakes out Sabin. Lynn is re-entering the ring, Sabin boots the ropes into the nether regions of the challenger. Big stomps from Sabin, modified back-breaker by Sabin for two. Knee to the back from Sabin, Lynn breaks free but Sabin works the back. Back rake by Sabin, hesitation dropkick from Sabin as Lynn is hanging from the buckle. Sabin steps on the back of Lynn, more stomps on the back. Lynn reveres a whip to the counter, Sabin flapjacks Lynn into the buckle. Shoulder thrusts in the spine and a modified back-breaker for two. Slaps by Sabin to a downed Lynn, knee to the spine. Lynn is taking a beating here as Sabin chokes Lynn using the ropes for leverage.
Sabin is in Lynn’s face, shouting and berating Lynn. Jabs to the face, whip to the opposite buckle. Flying elbow by Sabin, Sabin spits in his hands and rubs it in Lynn’s face. Lynn begins to fire up from the right hands, rights and dropkick by Lynn. The crowd is mild, back drop from Lynn. Lynn rubs spit in Sabin’s face, spinning sole butt counter from Sabin. Sabin is on the top rope, Lynn comes back with a super hurricanrana. Elbow by Lynn, Sabin reverses an Irish whip to the buckle. Lynn elevates Sabin to the apron, Sabin hot-shots Lynn. Springboard knee drop, enzuigiri and sit-out powerbomb for two. Cradle Shock is countered for a sunset flip, two for Lynn. TKO by Lynn for a close two! Sabin backs Lynn to the corner, no piledriver as the back gives out and Sabin rolls up Lynn for the win.
After all of that, Lynn does not push Sabin to his limits. The old man was not able to turn back time for one night only, not even close to it. That’s the story they wanted to tell and besides the TKO, Lynn never looked like he had a chance against Sabin. Piss poor booking if I am honest, you have got one story to tell, that Lynn can match Sabin but what we got was nothing close. What was the point of bringing back Lynn? I do not understand it at all.
Winner: Chris Sabin over Jerry Lynn via Roll-Up!
Robert Roode & Ms Brooks
Throughout the night, we saw clips of Ms. Brooks seducing Eric Young in a hotel room. Eric Young has signed a contract, signing himself over to Eric Young. Don West basically calls Eric Young a virgin on commentary so we have that, Roode mocks Young for thinking that Young could have had sex with Brooks. Roode insults everyone and Young over and over, Young is pissed. Young grabs the microphone but Roode allows no speaking, Roode owns Young’s ass. That just killed time, nothing memorable.
Jackie Moore & James Storm vs Gail Kim & Petey Williams
As I said, it is nuts that we are having a proper women’s match on the same show where Christy Hemme was stripped and considered a heel for asking for women to be respected. Williams has been lost in the shuffle since Team Canada split, his unique finish is not going to work on anyone bigger than him, which is everyone at the current time. Storm and Williams begin, Storm has a side headlock but Williams nails a dropkick, bulldog and hurricanrana. Storm tags in Jackie, Jackie talks mad trash. Williams nails Jackie with an atomic drop, tag to Gail. Hair-throws by Gail, stiff kick to the spine.
Spear by Gail, right hands on Jackie. Jackie tags Storm, Gail rams Jackie’s head into Storm’s nuts. Tag to Williams, chops on the floor. Jackie nails Williams from the apron with a knee, massive clothesline by Storm. Clubbing blows, tag to Jackie. Kicks by Jackie, tag to Storm. Double underhook slam by Storm for two, knee across the throat by Storm. Tag to Jackie who boots Williams in the head. Jabs from Jackie, tag to Storm. Snap-mare into a kick to the spine, reverse chin-lock from Storm. Storm uses the ropes for leverage, Williams breaks free but Storm regains control with a big knee. Two for Storm, Eye of The Storm.
Tag to Jackie, big elbow drop for two. Side headlock with a flurry of punches, back suplex from Williams. Storm comes in and misses a corner attack, Williams rams Storm into the buckle. Slingshot code-breaker, dropkick to the spine. Tilt-a-whirl Russian legsweep, destroyer time. Jackie rakes the eyes of Williams, Gail tags into the match. Headscissors by Gail, scoop slam and knee drop. Gail is on the top rope, missile dropkick for two. Storm pulls off Gail, Williams sends Storm to the apron. O Connor roll from Gail on Jackie, Jackie pushes off Gail into Storm, Storm cracks Gail and knocks her out, Jackie pins for the win. Storm and Jackie decide to get a little heat with a beer bottle but Williams counters with a neck-breaker. Jackie saves Storm as Storm nails a superkick. Jackie DDTs the referee? Ok? Death Sentence is stopped as Wildcat Chris Harris is here for Storm, Storm escapes.
Guess we will see the two partners go at it as Chris Harris returns, might be the most interesting part of this match. Storm uses a lot of chinlocks throughout this match while Jackie is mostly in there with Williams, very little of Gail and that finish, could have benefited from Storm cracking Gail but it looks like Gail ran into Storm’s chest and died, very odd.
Winners: James Storm & Jackie Moore over Gail Kim & Petey Williams via Collision!
(Prison Yard Match) Abyss vs Sting
Abyss was in prison, Abyss shot his father and put him in a coma. Abyss is torn between listening to Mitchell and Sting, Sting believes there is good in Abyss. Think Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, here we have a prison yard match. I am all gimmicked out at this stage, it is ridiculous. Not looking forward to Lockdown, these idiots come out to the ring and then walk to the back. What is the point?
Sting throws a trash can at Abyss, Sting proceeds to send Abyss into multiple objects. Abyss fights back, Sting is on a table. Sting is sent into the side of a dumpster. Abyss presses Sting into the dumpster, Sting cracks Abyss with plywood from the dumpster. Abyss falls onto a table, sweet Jesus! Sting dives on the dumpster through the table through Abyss. Not expecting that I will be honest, pleasantly surprised! Sting batters Abyss back to the ring, guess that backstage segment is done.
Sting sends Abyss into the ring-post, Sting has a barbed-wire bat. Abyss tastes the bat twice, make it four times. Sting calls for the cage, you can win this match by placing your opponent in a cage. Abyss blocks going into the cage, Sting waffles Mitchell off the apron. Sting steals the belt of Mitchell, decking the manager with the belt. Sting whips Mitchell over and over, Mitchell blades for the belt shot to the face. Abyss saves Mitchell and goes for the table, Abyss and Sting are in the ring. Abyss elbows Sting and tanks off a ring light. Sting is walloped with the light which shatters in the process. Sting is in the cage, Abyss tries closing the cage and Sting manages to prevent Abyss from closing the cage.
Abyss brings out a barbed-wire board because of course Abyss brings in barbed-wire boards. Sting stops the Irish whip, punches but Abyss nails a Black Hole Slam. Sting is in the cage, Sting is still fighting. Sting kicks the door into Abyss’ head, Stinger Splashes from Sting. Scorpion Death Drop, Abyss is in the cage. Mitchell interferes, Sting locks in The Scorpion Death Lock and Mitchell taps like a mad man. Abyss saves Mitchell again, table is set up in the ring. Sting is on the table, Abyss climbs the cage. Sting gets up as Abyss is slow, Sting places the barbed-wire board on the table and powerbombs Abyss through the table. Sting puts Abyss into the cage and locks the door, Sting wins the match.
You know this might have not been that bad if I was not immune to Abyss’ matches as this stage of my life. They are all the same, I have seen them over and over, it always ends with Abyss going through barbed-wire or thumbtacks. Nothing new here then, starting the match out in the back for one spot is pretty dumb though. What was the point? Always with TNA, I am left with more questions than answers!
Winner: Sting over Abyss!
(NWA/TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match) Kurt Angle vs Christian Cage © W/ Tomko
So, Angle is babyface again? Why would you make him out to be a dick against Joe so? What was the last two months for then? Christian just won the championship, do not tell me we are switching champions this early? But how can they have Angle lose again? To me, this is a loss for TNA either way. Tomko is not at ringside, Christian can lose the championship by DQ. No Scott Steiner or Samoa Joe, two of these athletes one on one.
Lock-up, Angle backs Christian to the corner. Clean break, takedown from Angle. Angle mounts Christian who dives for the ropes, slaps from Angle. Joe’s music hits as we start the main event, the fuck is this? I get that he is enforcer but Joe gets an entrance in the middle of the main event. We have stopped for Joe to sit down, tremendous. Angle takes Christian to the corner, stomps from Angle. Referee backs up Angle, boot and chops by Christian with a quick reversal. Angle turns the tide with a slam and ankle lock attempt. Christian is on the floor, Angle blocks being dragged out and kicks away Angle. Angle sends Christian into the steel steps. Axe handle off the apron, eye rake from Christian who sends Angle into the steel steps.
Christian runs into Joe, Angle nails an Angle Slam into the ring-post. Back-drop by Angle, rib-breaker for two. Uppercut by Angle, Christian elbows Angle and tries for a middle rope crossbody but Angle catches the champion and drops Christian to the floor. Christian is sent to the buckle and lures in Angle, Angle charges and rams his shoulder into the ring-post. Christian nails a massive hangman’s neckbreaker. Snap-mare and stiff kick by the champion, reverse chin-lock from Christian. Angle escapes but the champion side-steps the challenger with Angle ending up on the floor.
Slaps from Christian, scoop slam. Falling headbutt misses for Christian, Angle and Christian trade blows on their knees. Uppercut and guillotine from Angle, multiple clotheslines from Angle. Huge toss from Angle for two, Christian walks into a back suplex. Christian blocks suplexes and an angle slam. Unprettier is turned into The Ankle Lock, Christian uses the referee to reach the ropes. Low blow behind the referee’s back, Unprettier for a close two. Christian steps on Angle’s neck, using the ropes to drop his weight on Angle. Christian nails a scoop slam and a Steiner like elbow with push-ups. Choke from the champion, Angle escapes a scoop slam and trips the legs out of Christian. Catapult to the corner, Christian elbows back.
Angle runs up the buckle and nails a super belly to belly suplex. German suplexes from Angle, seven German suplexes for a two count. AJ Styles is here on the top rope, Joe confronts Styles. Christian waffles Angle with a chair, the camera misses it which is fantastic. Christian nails a Frog Splash for two, Christian is in shock as Angle hangs on somehow. Unprettier connects in the middle of the ring for another close two, Angle trips Christian but Christian shoves Angle into the referee. Christian clotheslines Angle down, Christian tries jumping Joe. Joe chases Christian into the ring, Angle is behind Christian.
Angle Slam in the middle of the ring, Joe wakes up the referee. Christian survives due to the referee being late, eye rake by Christian. Christian clotheslines the referee by mistake, second referee bump. Tomko sends Joe to the steel steps, Angle German Suplexes Tomko with ease. Angle batters Steiner too. Joe knocks Tomko to the floor, Angle and Joe are having words but why? Joe wipes out Tomko and Steiner, Christian clotheslines Angle. Joe fights to the back with Steiner and Tomko. Angle has Christian in The Ankle Lock as Christian taps out repeatedly. Christian has the lead pipe Steiner dropped, wham to the head of Angle. Unprettier by Christian and Angle is beaten by Christian.
Wow. Two referee bumps, interference for days and The Unprettier was hit three times. But sure it is TNA, what did I expect? Watching Angle work is fun, everything looks crisp and feels like a contest. The way Angle moves is just awesome, that with Christian’s heel work makes for a good match. However, typical TNA bullshit comes in with far too much being thrown at me and what happens? Your hottest babyface is beaten again for the second time in four months, your hottest babyface which you have flipped twice in the past four months, your hottest and biggest star who seems like nothing special anymore after four freaking months. How I hate the way this company was ran, Angle should have been nowhere near that championship, Christian has beaten the top guy, where do you go from here? I just do not know what to say sometimes, I knew this was a no win situation and after the main event finished, I knew I was right.
Winner: Christian Cage over Kurt Angle via Unprettier!
That was TNA’s Against All Odds 2007, your typical TNA train-wreck of a show. You start off positive with a brawling fun opener that gets the fans in the modd for a good night. You have an ok match between Starr and Senshi, Senshi was always an awkward babyface to me but it can work, just let him kick people and we are golden. We divulge into the awkward Hemme storyline, she looked amazing but this angle is a mess. We do not get any better as the gimmick matches come thick and fast, a chain match where I am convinced Rhino is the biggest loser in the history of wrestling, a prison yard match that acts as every other match Abyss has competed in due to the fact that Abyss gets fucked up like every single time. We had a heatless X Division Championship match which is sad because the division looks lost without Joe, Styles and Daniels and we top it off with a main event that feels like TNA backed themselves into a corner and have no real idea how to get out of, my money is on the next pay per view being main evented by a three-way between Angle, Joe and Christian which will be another no-win scenario as neither of those two should be losing. All in all, it was a mess that was easy to sit through, short on logic but entertaining enough at times, I would avoid this one. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!