Hello and welcome to another blood-sucking edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that has a worse reputation that Big Cass backstage apparently! Taking a spin in the time machine, we are returning to the good old Golden Era with WWF’s The Big Event! Jake The Snake Roberts squares off against Ricky The Dragon Steamboat as Steamboat looks for revenge after Roberts did the damage with the DDT the last time the two were supposed to meet while Hulk Hogan faces off against Mr Wonderful Paul Orndorff which promises to kick ten tonnes of ass. It’s the WWF, it’s your childhood, surely this will be a homerun? Let’s find out!
The Killer Bees vs The Funk Brothers
Following a narration from Mean Gene, we kick things off with this tag team match. It is an outdoor stadium which gives a different vibe to the whole event. Jimmy Jack Funk and Hoss Funk are the team in this match. Hoss and Blair start, hiptoss from Blair. Scoop slam to both Funks, Hoss tries cornering Blair but Blair escapes and kicks all sorts of ass. In comes Brunzell, scoop slam and shoulder block. Jimmy Jack powders, Hoss is the legal man and eats a crossbody for two. Arm-drag and tag to Blair, axe handle and wristlock. Hammerlock from Blair, slam counter from Hoss. Blair answers with his own slam, arm-drag and Blair tags Brunzell.
Hoss elbows Brunzell hard, tag to Jimmy Jack. Arm-drag by Brunzell, tag to Blair. Axe handle and more arm work, firemen’s carry by Blair. Tag to Brunzell, sleeper from Brunzell. Hoss enters illegally and knees Brunzell, European uppercut. Brunzell is on the floor, Jimmy Jack takes some cheap shots. Scoop slam on the floor, The Killer Bees place on their masks to confuse The Funks. The fresh Bee comes in and slams The Funks together, atomic drop to Hoss. Massive clothesline to both Funks, abdominal stretch is broken up by Jimmy Jack. The Killer Bees switch places, Brunzell small packages Jimmy Jack for the win.
What a fun little tag team match, simple stuff with The Killer Bees working a basic tag match in the babyface role and using their masks to get one over on the two cheating Funks from Amarillo Texas. Nothing special in the match but I was entertained throughout the match.
Winners: The Killer Bees over The Funks via Small Package!
Magnificent Muraco W/ Mr. Fuji vs King Tonga
A young Haku taking on Muraco, side headlock from Muraco. Tonga nails two slams and a hiptoss, Muraco takes a breather on the floor. Lock-up, Muraco tries trading blows but Tonga is too strong, big dropkick to the floor. Wrist-lock from Tonga, Muraco tries to monkey flip out but Tonga maintains the wrist-lock. Fuji trips Tonga using his cane as Muraco pushes away Tonga, clubbing blow to the back from Muraco. Knee lift by Muraco, Muraco tosses Tonga to the floor. Fuji gets his licks in as Tonga takes the beatdown, Muraco works the neck inside of the ring.
Tonga begins to rally, dropkicks and punches before Muraco dodges a splash in the corner. Tonga hits his head hard, Tonga has his right leg wrapped around the ringpost. Muraco snaps the leg of Tonga, stomps to the leg of Tonga. Tonga kicks Muraco hard, Muraco kicks back. Low headbutt by Muraco, figure four by Muraco. Tonga makes it to the ropes, throat chop by Muraco. Muraco climbs to the top rope but Tonga yanks off Muraco, chops by Tonga. Tonga nails a high crossbody but the time limit expires.
I thought Muraco was fantastic in this match, just nasty in his execution of taking apart Haku’s leg, full of confidence in everything that he did, I thought Muraco was awesome. So weird seeing Haku as a fighting underneath babyface but never say never.
Tony Garea vs Ted Arcidi
Arcidi shows strength pushing off Garea, shoulder blocks do not move Arcidi who stands and yells. Side headlock by Garea, Arcidi gorilla press slams Garea. Irish whip to the corner, big elbow by Arcidi who poses some more. Garea boots Arcidi, shoulder tackles and a dropkick. Arcidi catches Garea in a Bearhug and this match is over. Squash match no rating!
Winner: Ted Arcidi over Tony Garea via Bearhug!
Adorable Adrian Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart vs The Junkyard Dog
Junkyard Dog is a fighting mood, right hands to Adonis. Chain to the throat and head by JYD, multiple headbutts by JYD. Irish whip and Adonis flips to the floor, headbutt by Dog. Adonis takes a breather, right hands by JYD. JYD shoves down the referee, Hart blinds Dog with some spray. Clothesline by Adonis, knee drop by Adonis. Throat chop by Adonis, Adonis climbs to the middle rope for a huge chop. Two for Adonis, JYD is thrown to the floor. Hart attacks JYD, JYD crotches Adonis and the two brawl on the floor. Hart is on the apron, JYD pulls Adonis into Hart and they fall to the floor. JYD wins by count-out! Well it was short and sweet but how was that a count-out?
Winner: JYD over Adrian Adonis via Count-Out!
The Rebel Dick Slater vs Iron Mike Sharpe
Dick Slater is an animal and Mike Sharpe is one of the most memorable jobbers of all-time, Slater grabs a hammerlock with Sharpe reaching for the ropes. Test of strength, Slater jumps on Sharpe’s fingers. Big Forearm shot by Sharpe, some posturing and time-wasting follow. Slater unloads with rights and headbutts, Swinging neckbreaker by Slater. Sharpe misses a slam, Russian legsweep and Slater nails an axe handle from the top rope with a jacknife cover for the win. Three quick matches in a row? Boring!
Winner: Dick Slater over Mike Sharpe via Axe Handle!
Super Strong Machines W/ Lou Albano vs King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd/ Bobby Heenan
Andre’s feud with Heenan continues under a mask as Andre is Super Strong Machine on this night. Machine 1 and Studd kick us off, Machine 1 chops and kicks Studd. Lock-up, side headlock by Machine 1. Shoulder block by Studd, clothesline by Machine 1. Three clotheslines take down Studd, Machine 2 and Bundy enter the ring. Side headlock by Bundy, Machine 2 does not go down off the shoulder block. Neither does Bundy, right hands by Machine 2. Bundy misses a splash, elbow to the face and Bundy is down. Bundy kicks and clubs down Machine 2, tag to Studd.
Clubbing blows by Studd, in comes Heenan who attacks Machine 2. Machine 1 clubs Heenan, tag to Studd. Studd takes down Machine 2, tag to Bundy. Machine 2 rallies but Bundy maintains control thanks to an illegal knee from the apron by Studd, Studd is the legal man. Reverse elbow, tag to Heenan. Lou Albano gets the tag, Albano begs Heenan to take a shot. Slap by Heenan, Albano goes to work, flip into the corner. Heenan rakes the eyes, shots from Heenan. Studd is legal, massive shots to Albano. Bundy and Heenan assault Albano, Andre is in and Andre headbutts everything in sight. It ends in a DQ!
Well, this was promising before the finish, everyone was waiting for Andre to kick some ass and I thought Andre was in the match but no, Andre was just a manager at ringside who interfered at the end. Heenan could have been used better and this match could have been so much more fun, more disappointing in the end.
Winners: Team Heenan over Team Albano via DQ!
(Snake Pit Match) Jake Roberts vs Ricky Steamboat
This one is personal, the two were meant to face off on Saturday Night’s Main Event but Roberts attacked Steamboat and nailed The DDT which was all she wrote for The Dragon. Steamboat is attacked on the apron, Roberts attacks Steamboat but with a back body drop, Steamboat is in control. Chops by Steamboat, two for Steamboat. Wrist-lock by Steamboat, Roberts escapes but eats another chop. Hammerlock by Steamboat, knees to the arm by Steamboat. Chops from Steamboat, Roberts is staggering. Kick to the lower parts of Roberts, The Snake powders to the floor.
Roberts headbutts Steamboat hard, scoop slam on the floor. Knee to the throat by Roberts, make it two. Steamboat stops a chair shot, Steamboat uses the chair on Roberts. Massive shot to the head, Roberts is in the ring. Diving chop from the top rope for two, ten punches from Steamboat. Roberts gains control by reversing an Irish whip, Steamboat tumbles to the floor. Roberts catapults Steamboat into the ringpost. Steamboat is bleeding as Roberts smacks The Dragon off the guard rail. Huge rights by Roberts, Steamboat is down.
Roberts mocks Steamboat, short-arm clothesline. Roberts calls for the DDT, Steamboat blocks the DDT. Knee lift by Roberts, chop by Steamboat. Inverted atomic drop by Roberts, gutbuster by Roberts. Roberts get cocky off and pins Steamboat without a care in the world, Steamboat reverses at two and a half for the win and Roberts is pissed.
This was a whole lot of fun, Roberts was vicious in his attack of Steamboat, that match lived up to that grudge match hype. The blood was unexpected but like the blood should, it added tension and drama to the match with Roberts crushing Steamboat at every turn but Steamboat is one of the best babyfaces of all-time so The Dragon sells his ass off and catches the arrogant Roberts at the end, awesome match.
Winner: Ricky Steamboat over Jake Roberts via Sunset Flip!
Hercules Hernandez vs Billy Jack Haynes
Hercules gains control with a massive clothesline, bearhug and multiple elbow drops to Haynes. Haynes meets the turnbuckle hard, both men bang heads off an Irish whip. Haynes stomps Hercules, coconut crash and big right hands. Reverse elbow to the head, backbreaker by Haynes. Haynes climbs to the middle rope, elbow to the head for two. Full-Nelson from Haynes, Hercules escapes the hold.
Stomp to the head from Hercules, Haynes is thrown to the floor. Hercules poses for the crowd, clubbing forearm shots from Hercules. Haynes collapses to the floor, more posing and shots to Haynes. Suplex from the apron into the ring for two, clothesline by Hercules for two. Hercules believes that he has won but Haynes rolls-up Hercules for two. Haynes counters a neckbreaker for a backslide, Haynes wins the match. Fuck me these are short matches, they are hard to rate. It was basic and over in a flash like much of the card.
Winner: Billy Jack Haynes over Hercules Hernandez via Backslide!
The Rougeau Brothers vs The Dream Team
The Dream Team jump The Rougeau Brothers to kick us off, The Rougeau Brothers eventually take control. Jacque gets a two of a sunset flip, snapmare and knee drop by Jacques. Tag to Raymond, knee lift for two. Knees to the spine, tag to Jacques. Reverse elbow by Jacques, two for Jacques. Abdominal stretch by Jacques, elbow counter by Valentine. Tag to Beefcake, scoop slam from Beefcake for two. Jacques spears Beefcake to the corner, tag to Raymond who nails a hip splash. Beefcake spears Raymond to the corner, knees in the corner. Raymond meets Valentine’s boot, double axe handle. Two for Valentine, scoop slam and cover for two.
Raymond ducks the elbow for a high crossbody, one for Raymond. Valentine meets Jacques’ boot, double dropkick and Valentine falls down hard. Jacknife cover for two, Valentine recovers to bring Jacques to the corner. The Dream Team smack Jacques off the turnbuckle, atomic drop from Valentine. Here comes Beefcake, stomp to the lower sternum. Beefcake rakes the eyes, Jacques fights back with the match breaking down. Beefcake and Valentine meet heads, Rougeau Bomb but Valentine saves the match. Beefcake tosses both Rougeaus to the floor.
Raymond has his back rammed into the ring apron, Jacques comes to the aid of Raymond. Beefcake provokes Jacques which allows The Dream Team to batter Raymond. Backbreaker by Beefcake for two, Valentine is now the legal man. Massive forearms to the back of Raymond, two for Valentine. Inverted atomic drop by Valentine, tag to Beefcake. Stomps to Raymond, Raymond fights back on his knees, Beefcake delivers a big suplex for two. Tag to Valentine, The Dream Team go to work with a massive bearhug. With big right hands, Raymond wriggles free but Valentine smothers Raymond. Back to the bearhug, Beefcake and Valentine double team Raymond. Double axe handle for two, Valentine misses repeated elbow drops.
Tag to Jacques, big dropkicks to The Dream Team. Scoop slam to Valentine, one for Beefcake. Slugfest, Beefcake has Jacques. The Dream Team eat a dropkick, Jacques climbs to the middle rope, Valentine dodges the knee drop. Jacques blocks the figure four the first time but Valentine swats down Jacques, Figure Four in the middle of the ring. Raymond saves Jacques, all four men are brawling. Valentine knees Raymond in the back, Beefcake and Raymond are on the floor. Valentine stomps the leg of Jacques, Valentine looks for the figure four but Raymond sunset flips Valentine for the win despite not being legal.
This was a fun match, simple tag team match with The Dream Team drilling Raymond in the back throughout, Valentine is growing on me with each performance I would prefer to see Valentine by himself kicking ass in that ring. I would have really liked the finish had there not been a switch finish in the first match of the night with The Killer Bees, the fact that we have roughly the same finish hurts the match in the long-run but this was easily the second best match of the night.
Winners: Rougeau Brothers over Dream Team via Sunset Flip!
Handsome Harley Race vs Pedro Morales
Morales punches Race to the floor, Race pulls out Morales to the floor. Race pulls Morales into the timekeeper’s area, Race takes a breather in the ring. Headbutt by Race, Morales blocks a suplex and delivers his own suplex. Small package for two, left hands by Morales. Race charges in but Morales has the sunset flip for two, big left by Morales. Race trips Morales and uses the feet on the ropes for the roll-up, Race wins the match.
Winner: Harley Race over Pedro Morales via Roll-Up!
(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff W/ Bobby Heenan vs Hulk Hogan ©
Orndorff sucker shots Hogan to begin the match, The Loose Cannon that is Orndorff unloads on Hogan, Hogan reverses the hold and lays into Orndorff. They stand up, big right by Hogan. Big elbow by Hogan, Heenan distracts Hogan but Hogan is in control. Big atomic drop, Hogan chases after Heenan. Orndorff takes control with big knees and stomps to the head, clothesline to the floor. Suplex on the floor by Orndorff, knee to the head by Orndorff. Elbow to the throat by Orndorff, make it three. Throat thrust by Orndorff, Hogan is in all sorts of trouble. Knee to the back of the head by Orndorff, two for Mr. Wonderful.
Scoop slam by Orndorff, elbow to the throat. Two count for Orndorff, Orndorff climbs high. Top rope elbow by Orndorff finds the mark, Hogan reverses the piledriver. Stomp by Orndorff, Orndorff rakes the eyes. Orndorff bites Hogan, back suplex by Orndorff. Two for Orndorff, Hogan Hulks up, knee into the back with the referee getting knocked out too! Short-arm clothesline by Hogan, Heenan smacks Hogan with a stool, Orndorff covers Hogan. The referee awakes, the referee taps Orndorff on the shoulder what the fuck does that mean? Orndorff has the championship around his waist, Hogan wins by disqualification because Orndorff smacked into the referee.
Oh that is not a good way to save Hogan’s reign, they could have at least said Hogan was disqualified for kneeing Orndorff into the referee but having Hogan win by DQ was a bad call. The match was fun due to the amount of heat for the match but they were obviously building to something bigger, I just wish the finish could have been handled much better.
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Paul Orndorff via DQ!
That was WWF’s Big Event 1986, a waste of a review when I reflect on the show as a whole. This show had so many matches that were not even worth writing notes on, it was comical by the end. Tag team matches having the same finish, squash matches that were so short. The saving grace of this was a badass match between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat, those two are awesome and their feud is awesome but I could not be arsed with the rest of this card. Skip this, you are missing nothing my friends. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!