Hello and welcome to another liver-quivering edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that hinders Jinder! WWE’s Unforgiven 2007, The Return of The Undertaker. Disappointingly, Edge is out with injury which means Taker cannot exact revenge of the man who stole his world championship but we have the next best thing as Taker looks for revenge against Mark Henry, the man who assaulted Taker after his draining cage match with Batista. Disappointingly, Henry had been nowhere to be seen in the last number of months so this match seems bizarre due to lack of push. However, we have Carlito vs Triple H, Orton vs Cena two and Batista challenging again for the world championship (FUCK ME) Will this pay per view be more enjoyable than Summerslam? Let’s find out!
Hyping the shit out of Taker’s return, it’s over the top but it is magnificent at the same time. I love how we would let Taker away with all this madness, they weirdly show people in Death Valley, this is super cheesy. All of the promo focuses on Taker, take that Triple H!
(ECW Championship Match) CM Punk © vs Elijah Burke
What in the fuckery is this? Punk as champion, the chase ended on TV. Not happy about that but circumstances were let’s say out of WWE’s hand. So, we have Burke who feels like he is plucked from obscurity for this match but apparently, they were building stars on the brand. We get a nice package showing us Punk’s win over Morrison after numerous attempts. They do a great job showing how good both Punk and Morrison were, both men feel like stars and they should as it is a championship match. Poor Burke has his entrance taken out due to the highlight package, these two had a match at Judgment Day which was decent, let’s see what they offer now.
Lock-up, clean break. Burke is in Punk’s head, Burke claims before they shoot for takedowns. Burke has a hammerlock, Burke eats a drop toehold. Roll-through cross armbreaker, Burke reaches the ropes. Burke ties up with Punk, cheap shot in the corner, elbows to the neck. Punk fires back, float-over Russian legsweep for two. Chop from Punk, Punk goes for the legs of Burke. Snapmare and spinal tap, Burke whips Punk to the corner. Punk is yanked neck first to the mat, lot of impact there from Burke. Burke stomps on Punk’s head, two for Burke. Spinal tap from Burke, knee to the spine from Burke.
Punk mule kicks out, high knee in the corner followed by a bulldog. Springboard clothesline for two, Burke rolls to the floor and lures in Punk who is yanked off the apron to the floor. Burke admires his handy work from the ring, Burke carries Punk into the ring. Two for Burke, Burke kicks and punches Punk’s spine. Elbow to the spine, two for Burke. Boston crab by Burke, Punk struggles to the ropes. German suplexes from Burke, Punk blocks the third. STO from Burke, two from Burke. Ankle lock from Burke, Haas of Pain-like hold. Punk escapes, Burke hammers the back of Punk. Enzuigiri from Punk, Burke boots Punk. Shotei from Burke, two for Burke. Burke slaps Punk and walks into a roll-up from Punk.
Decent match to open the show, Burke has the goods but does not use them to the best of his ability. Burke could have that meanstreak, Burke could have that good match but it just does not come together, I do enjoy his work though and Punk as a resilient babyface has always been fun, let’s see what Punk can do as champion.
Winner: CM Punk over Elijah Burke via Roll-Up!
(WWE Tag Team Championship Match) MVP & Matt Hardy © vs Deuce & Domino W/ Cherry
More title changes not on pay per view? Damn it but can you blame them? I do believe that Deuce & Domino had nobody to work with London & Kendrick on Raw. MVP & Matt do not get along, this has all the usual clichés associated with partners who hate one another. MVP and Domino start, scoop slam by MVP. MVP tags Matt, Domino tags Deuce. Neckbreaker by Matt, tag to MVP. Deuce chops MVP, corner clothesline answer from MVP. Bulldog by MVP, MVP taunts Matt. They argue, Matt tags in as does Domino. Scoop slam by Matt, middle rope elbow. Ballin Elbow by Matt, Deuce comes in and yanks Matt down by the hair as the referee deals with an irate MVP. Deuce is the legal man now, big punches to Matt.
Knee to the head, two for Deuce. Matt tries to rally but Deuce superkicks Matt, tag to Domino. Leg drop for two, tag to Deuce. Hotshot, two for Deuce. Matt finds an opening with a Side Effect, Domino tags in and knocks MVP to the floor. Cobra clutch from Domino, jawbreaker from Matt. Domino drags Matt to the corner, assisted suplex by Deuce & Domino for two. Front chancery by Deuce, Matt takes out both Deuce and Domino. Tag to MVP, right hands to Deuce. Clothesline and back elbow, back body drop. Facebuster to Domino, drop toehold to Deuce. Ballin Elbow, Matt is legal. Matt sends MVP into Domino, Twist of Fate on Deuce for the win.
It was fine, nothing special and when a makeshift team are you tag team champions, it says a lot. This is arguably the lowest point for the tag divisions in WWE, tag teams were always on life support during this time so I am hoping things pick up soon for the blue brand and every brand for that matter. However, this match was fine. Deuce and Domino never showed me anything special, they were fine in their roles and it was an easy night for all involved.
Winners: Matt Hardy & MVP over Deuce & Domino via Twist of Fate!
Triple H vs Carlito
Triple H wiped the floor with King Booker, Carlito seems to be the next target on the list. Carlito jumps Triple H, Triple H hammers Carlito. Carlito rolls to the floor, there is a weird rule for this match where Carlito cannot be disqualified. Spears from Triple H, back body drop. Carlito looks for another weapon, Carlito has a trash can. Triple H yanks in Carlito, clothesline to the floor. They trade blows on the floor, Carlito misses a chair shot. Carlito is driven into the barricade and ring apron back first. Abdominal stretch by Triple H, Triple H uses the ropes for leverage.
Carlito scurries to the floor, Triple H cuts off Carlito again. Carlito uses the ringbell to finally establish himself in the match, Carlito chokes The Game with a camera cable. Carlito grabs his apple, Triple H knocks it out of Carlito’s mouth. Carlito retaliates with a trash can, multiple shots to The Game. Two for Carlito, Carlito has a trash can. Back suplex on the trash can, two for Carlito.
Carlito goes to the floor, Carlito pulls out another trash can. Carlito wedges the trash can between turnbuckles, Triple H clotheslines Carlito hard. High knee from Triple H, knee facebuster for two. Right hands in the corner, Carlito has powder in his hand. Triple H is blinded, Carlito grabs a chair. Triple H nails a spinebuster to avoid the chair shot, Triple H has a chair. Carlito has the trash can, low blow from Triple H with the referee’s back turned, Pedigree and Triple H wins the match.
It was alright from the two, happy for Carlito to get to work with The Game but the match was decent at best. Carlito worked the stipulation well but never seemed like having control of the match, the heat segment was rather flat too before Triple H rallied at the end. Finish was clever based n the stipulation though, I give them props for that.
Winner: Triple H over Carlito via Pedigree!
(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Beth Phoenix vs Candice Michelle ©
It looks like we are getting very serious with the women on Raw, things have moved on from Candice vs Melina to the ass-kicker Beth Phoenix who is all business, Beth won this opportunity at Summerslam. JR calls Beth an American Bull Nakano, that is all sorts of awesome.
Lock-up, Beth outpowers Candice. Side headlock from Candice, Beth shoves off Candice again. Candice takes the back of Beth, Beth powers out of the hold. Wristlock from Beth and Candice is hurled to the mat, Candice looks shaken. Candice evades the strikes of Beth, forearm shots. Candice nails an armdrag from the top rope, Beth counters a headscissors for a backbreaker. Vicious kicks to the face from Beth, Candice is smacked off the turnbuckles by Beth. Hard Irish whip, chickenwing hold from Beth. Two for Beth, Beth uses a stretch on Candice.
Forearms to the spine, forearms to the chest from Beth. Candice grabs a bodyscissors, kick to the head from Candice. Elbow cut off from Beth, Argentine backbreaker from Beth. Candice wriggles free, neckbreaker from Candice. Dropkicks and Edge O Matic from Candice, Beth spears Candice into the corner. Beth presses Candice to the mat, two for Beth. Beth tries a Samoan drop but Candice counters for a crucifix and the win.
That was an excellent women’s match, such a different dynamic to every match that had been seen from this division for a long time. Beth was truly like Chyna, rough, tough and insanely strong. Beth could outpower every Diva, bully other Divas and it makes matches way more interesting. Candice has shown incredible growth in the ring, it is crazy how much she changed from Diva in Pillow fights to genuine wrestler, great stuff from Candice and Beth.
Winner: Candice Michelle over Beth Phoenix via Crucifix Pin!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) The Great Khali © vs Batista vs Rey Mysterio
How many times can Batista have a crack at this championship? It’s overly ridiculous by this point but we have a different dynamic now as Mysterio is back in the main event scene on Smackdown. Mysterio and Batista attack Khali, Khali shoves off Batista and throws Mysterio to the floor. Clothesline on Batista, Khali stomps the life out of Batista. Elbows and knees by Khali, Batista is being dominated. Batista reverses and attacks Khali, Mysterio and Batista combine to hurt Khali. Mysterio rolls-up Batista for two, headscissors by Mysterio. Wheelbarrow bulldog for two, springboard senton. Khali comes alive with a boot to Mysterio.
Batista blocks the vice grip, chop from Khali on Batista. Khali applies The Vice Grip, Mysterio has a chair. To the back of Khali, no effect on Khali. Massive right hand by Khali, Khali corners Mysterio. Mysterio is running from Khali, Khali catches Mysterio. Stomps by Khali, short-arm clothesline by Khali. Mysterio battles back but to no avail, Khali boots Mysterio. Vice Grip on Mysterio, Batista comes in and kicks Khali. Massive shoulder block, right hands by Batista. Batista looks for a powerbomb, hurricanrana on Batista. 619 by Mysterio to both Khali and Batista, seated senton on Khali but Batista grabs Mysterio and Batista Bombs Mysterio onto Khali. Batista Spinebusters Khali and we have a new champion.
Good stuff, they wasted no time in getting to work in this one, they showed Mysterio’s speed and ability, they displayed Khali’s dominance inside of the ring and they also showed the toughness of Batista. Each man looked good inside of the ring and Batista finally ends the reign of Khali, I am sure Khali was a nice guy but Khali in his prime is not even up to Giant Baba in his old age, the giant is damn near immobile and should not be near the championship but what can you do? Vince always loved the big guy, happy to see where Smackdown goes with The Animal on top, I look forward to Edge’s return.
Winner: Batista over Everyone Else via Spinebuster!
(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch ©
With The Hardys gone, we have London & Kendrick flying the flag for babyface teams. Cade and Kendrick begin, clean break from Cade. Hammerlock from Kendrick, hiptoss from Cade who poses at his own greatness. Side headlock from Cade, Kendrick escapes and dropkicks Cade before walking into a big shoulder block. Tag to Murdoch, clubbing blows from Murdoch. Small package by Kendrick, two for Kendrick. Tag to London, axe handle and tag to Kendrick. Axe handle, tag to London. Double stomp to the arm by London, Murdoch elevates London to the apron. Slingshot dropkick by London for two, tag to Kendrick. Sunset flip for two, Murdoch murders Kendrick with a clothesline.
Tag to Cade, hard shot to the kidneys from Cade. Headscissors on Cade, London nails Murdoch with a dropkick. London & Kendrick control the ring, simultaneous suicide dives by the challengers. Kendrick climbs high, Cade dodges the top rope crossbody. Murdoch is legal, massive forearm with Kendrick falling to the floor. Forearm by Murdoch, Cade is legal now and scores with a massive shoulder block for two.
Tag to Murdoch, assisted leg drop for two. Cade gets the tag and knocks London off the apron, Kendrick is placed on the top rope. Kendrick eats an emerald flowsion from the corner, London saves the match. Tag to Murdoch, elbow for two. Kendrick escapes Murdoch but not Cade, Cade elbows Kendrick down. Tag to Murdoch who dives into a boot, Kendrick tags London. Dropkicks by London. Inverted atomic drop and hurricanrana, springboard double stomp for two.
Whip to the corner, Cade boots London down. Cade misses the middle rope elbow, standing shooting star press for two. London tags Kendrick, crossbody for two. Murdoch is tagged in, Kendrick eats a massive boot to the face for two. Murdoch misses a corner attack, London is with the referee. Cade plants Kendrick with his Sit-out Spinebuster behind the referee’s back, Cade dumps out London and Murdoch pins Kendrick.
The crowd reaction must reflect the poor tag division in WWE at the time because as fun and as exciting as London & Kendrick are inside of the ring, the fans did not seem to care at all about this match. Murdoch is a lot of fun inside of the ring, I am not as sold on Cade but Murdoch is a lot of fun inside of that ring.
Winners: Cade & Murdoch over London & Kendrick via Sit-out Spinebuster!
(WWE Championship Match) Randy Orton vs John Cena ©
Orton stepped it up a million levels by punt-kicking Cena’s father into oblivion, the tension surrounding this match is tremendous. Orton is sinister and sadistic, Orton has done a lot of terrible things in the span of the last seven months but could have Orton gone too far this time? Cena is beyond fired up for the match but will that mindset affect how Cena wrestles on this night? Can Cena keep his composure in this match? Love all that layering to this match, makes it seem like a big deal as it was at Summerslam where a lapse of concentration cost Orton the championship. Cena’s father is at ringside which makes things interesting, Orton slithers closure to Mr. Cena.
John Cena’s music hits with a face of thunder, shit is about to go down. The bell rings and Cena has an entirely different look on his face, Orton is tentative for the first time in quite some time. Slugfest with Cena pounding away at Orton, clothesline by Cena. Cena is rammed off the turnbuckle, hard Irish whip which leaves Orton on the floor. Another clothesline by Cena, STFU attempt but Orton escapes, Cena does not let up with huge punches to Orton. Cena loses his cool though and walks into that rope-draped DDT from Orton for two. Orton is in control now, big right hands.
Cena spears down Orton, multiple fists reign down by the champion. Orton dodges a corner clothesline, vicious rear-naked choke by Orton. Side headlock takedown by Orton, Cena sits in the hold for a large amount of time before breaking free. Clothesline by Cena, corner splash. Rights and lefts by Cena, Cena shoves off the referee and we have a DQ. Orton goes after Cena’s dad, Cena stops the attack and Cena’s dad punts Orton in the head.
More than disappointing, this had a tonne of tension going into it with the heightened drama of the angle going into this match. But the DQ finish sucked the life out of it but the match itself was not all that to write about after a hot start with the slugfest and takedowns, should have been Orton’s night when you think about it, you buy the pay per view to see a championship match so why are you building to a last man standing match for next month or possibly Raw? Just defeats the purpose of watching the match, there is no reason to pay for the conclusion of the feud with an ending like that, I am just angry at the potential match we could have received that I know these two could deliver.
Winner: Randy Orton over John Cena via DQ!
The Undertaker vs Mark Henry
Mark Henry cost The Undertaker the world heavyweight championship, that’s a great story to build around. Simple story with Taker looking for revenge, here is my issue: What has Mark Henry done to warrant this main event match? Where has Mark Henry been as he certainly has not been on pay per view beating people up, what has Mark Henry been doing in the meantime leading to this match?
Taker makes an awesome entrance, the two stare one another down. Right hands by Taker to begin the match, the best striker goes to work striking. Headbutt, big corner splash. Henry stops a second splash, Taker meets the corner. Headbutts knock down Henry, Henry rallies and superplexes Taker. Henry clotheslines Taker hard, bot by Henry has not effect. Clothesline by Taker to the floor, Taker clears the announce table. Henry low blows Taker, Taker meets the ring apron. Make it twice, splash from Henry for two.
Henry nails another splash, two for Henry. Henry misses a third splash, the two trade blows. Taker wins the war, Henry puts down Taker with an STO. Henry taunts on one knee, choke by Henry. Scoop slam by Henry, another splash. Taker sits-up, Taker unloads with right hands. Corner clotheslines, Old School. Chokeslam and Henry kicks out at two, Henry avoids the last ride. Boot by Taker, bearhug from Henry. Henry tries for ten punches in the corner, Last Ride ends Henry’s time.
That was so slow and boring that I think I might need to take a break from WWE for a while. I can see why they put it as the main event when they were going to do a bullshit DQ finish in the WWE Championship match but this was just awful. Sloppy, slow and no real heat from the fans at all, only thing that mattered was the entrance and the last ride, everything in between could have put me to sleep.
Winner: The Undertaker over Mark Henry via Last Ride!
That was WWE’s Unforgiven 2007, another pay per view built around a return and another pay per view disappointment from WWE. The WWE Championship had a tremendous build but the match did not live up to the hype after their Summerslam epic encounter plus the DQ finish was lame when it was clearly Orton’s time to be champion and the story was set with Cena would be in the wrong frame of mind which could have led to Orton’s championship win. The rest of the card was filled with matches that were solid at best, nothing truly stood out apart from a great Divas match between Candice Michelle and Beth Phoenix, Beth is unique and brings so much to that division, I look forward to watching her grow as the year continues but the main event was like much of the card, it was alright. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!