Hello and welcome to another
spine-tingling edition of Seanomanaic Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review
series on the internet that is heartbroken by the loss of Big Cass! WWE’s No
Mercy 2007, big changes in the landscape of WWE. You must be thinking how?
Well, John Cena goes down with an injury which leads us to Triple H back at the
forefront of Raw battling the evil Mr. Mcmahon while the most sinister man on
the planet Randy Orton is waiting in the wings, how will Vince Mcmahon screw
Triple H on this night? Meanwhile on Smackdown, Batista has finally won the
championship that he chased for over 8 months but now, Batista must battle
Khali in Khali’s signature match The Punjabi Prison Match. Unforgiven was
forgettable but can No Mercy be something special? Let’s find out!
Opening Promo
Cena’s
legendary reign put to an end by an injury from allegedly a hiptoss from Mr.
Kennedy, not a good day for Mr. Kennedy. Beyond this, we have our typical
narrator with a dark voice talking about No Mercy.
(WWE Championship Match) Randy Orton © vs Triple H
Mr. Mcmahon
enters the arena, Mcmahon gives Orton the championship with Triple H coming out
to challenge Orton. Orton and Mcmahon say no, Triple H manipulates Mcmahon and
Orton and we have this match. Orton is understandably upset that Vince fell for
Triple H’s cheap tricks but Vince is a cartoon villain and this is exactly how
to get to this egomaniac.
Orton cheap
shots The Game, elbow by Triple H. Right hands, Orton powders from the punches
of The Game. Orton grabs his championship but Triple H says you ain’t going
anywhere. Orton continues to run, Triple H is in pursuit. Clothesline by The
Game, Triple rolls Orton in the ring but Orton stomps on The Game. Reverse on
the Irish whip and Orton eats the high knee of The Game. Orton counters a
suplex for a backbreaker, elbow by Orton for two. Mounted punches by Orton,
Orton chokes Triple H and talks trash. Slugfest between the two, powerslam by
Orton stops Triple H. Two for Orton, Garvin-style stomps by Orton, knee drop by
Orton.
Two for
Orton, Orton locks in a sleeper. Triple H escapes Orton’s hold, corner
clothesline. Make it two, clothesline to the back of the head for two. Triple H
places Orton on the top rope, superplex from Triple H. Two for Triple H,
spinebuster by Triple H for two. They roll to the floor, Triple H tries to
re-enter the ring but there is a DDT from Orton. Two for Orton, Orton looks for
The RKO. Triple H shoves off Orton, Pedigree is blocked too. Orton back drops
Triple H, knee drop misses. Figure Four by Triple H, Orton reaches the ropes.
Orton lures Triple H in and throws The Game to the floor, hotshot by Triple H.
Triple H climbs on the top rope, Orton crotches The Game and Orton looks for a
corner spear, Triple H dodges and rolls-up Orton.
Well, the
crowd was hot for this match as you had two huge stars in the opening match and
it was the championship on the line but for the match itself, it was alright. No
real drama to the match and a roll-up ended the reign of Orton who was on a roll
at the time. Plus, a fifteen minute reign is never going to be something I am a
fan of, this sucks.
Winner:
Triple H over Randy Orton via Roll-Up!
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch/Mr Kennedy vs Jeff Hardy/
Paul London & Brian Kendrick
The only two
tag teams on the Raw brand alongside two upper mid-carders in a match that
would be at home on Raw. Kendrick and Cade start, crossbody by Kendrick. Tag to
London, sunset flip by London for two. Cade knocks down London, tag to Murdoch.
Dropkick by London for two, tag to Jeff. Poetry in Motion, two for Jeff.
Jawbreaker is blocked, boot by Murdoch. Kennedy is legal, Jeff is stomped hard.
Kennedy misses a boot, tag to Kendrick. Cade comes in, forearms and dropkicks.
Murdoch lowbridges Kendrick who falls hard, Cade covers for two. Cade batters
Kendrick, tag to Murdoch for assisted leg drop.
Scoop slam,
knee to the ribs of Kendrick. Make it three, Kennedy stomps all over Kendrick.
Running facewash by Kennedy, Kennedy chokes out Kendrick. Kendrick rallies,
Kennedy cuts off Kendrick. Cade comes in looking for a superplex, tornado DDT
by Kendrick. Jeff is tagged in, flying forearms. Neckbreaker on Murdoch for
two, sit-out suplex and a Swanton Bomb for two as Cade saves Murdoch. London
hurricanranas Cade, corkscrew mule kick on Kennedy by Jeff. Springboard
dropkick by London for two, spinning heel kick. London is on the top rope,
Kennedy crotches London. Green Bay Plunge from Kennedy and Team Kennedy wins.
Your standard
Raw main event match, the crowd is hot for Jeff as usual. Cade and Murdoch are
a rough badass team but they hardly get to shine nor do London and Kendrick who
are super exciting as the match is in such a rush. Kennedy picks up a win but
it is not over Jeff Hardy so the impact is not as great.
Winners:
Team Kennedy over Team Hardy via Green Bay Plunge!
(ECW World Championship Match) Big Daddy V W/ Matt Striker vs
CM Punk ©
CM Punk faces
a huge test in facing Big Daddy V, the unstoppable monster of ECW. Dreamer was
supposed to be the number one contender but Matt Striker persuaded Estrada, the
general manager of ECW to award Big Daddy V the championship match. V throws
Punk across the ring, Punk tries shooting on V. V takes down Punk and hammers
Punk, huge forearms and fists. Punk escapes and kicks V, enzuigiri staggers V.
V brings Punk to the corner, huge slap. Punk avoids the splash, missile
dropkick. Striker jumps Punk, the match is over.
Why in the
name of God would Striker interrupt the match? What was the point of this? V
was in no danger, Striker was not provoked. Absolutely no reason for Striker to
cost his client the championship, this makes no sense and I wonder why they did
this.
Winner: CM
Punk over Big Daddy V via DQ!
(WWE Championship Match) Triple H © vs Umaga
Umaga vs
Triple H was scheduled for tonight, Triple H weaselled his way into a match
with Orton earlier in the night so we have the scheduled match now for the
championship. Umaga outstrikes Triple H, Triple H is down. DDT by Triple H has
little effect, The Game lowbridges Umaga. Triple H bounces Umaga off the steel
steps to no effect, superkick by Umaga. Hip drop by Umaga, Umaga misses the
middle rope headbutt. Knee facebuster to no effect, Pedigree is reversed via
back drop. Spinebuster lands, Pedigree is reversed for a Samoan drop. Umaga
stomps Triple H, bearhug by Umaga. Triple H escapes but gets caught in a
spinning sidewalk slam.
Two for
Umaga, knee drops by Umaga. Umaga pummels Triple H in the corner, the intent is
obvious. Running hip attack time, Triple H dodges at the last second. Triple H
boots Umaga, Umaga misses a splash and hits the ringpost. Pedigree on The
Samoan Bulldozer and Triple H picks up the win over Umaga.
Decent
match, we get to see Umaga as the dominant monster and Triple H overcoming the
daunting task of defeating The Samoan Bulldozer. The story of the match could
have been drawn out longer but its not about the match, it is about The Game
overcoming the odds and based on that, the match is good.
Winner:
Triple H over Umaga via Pedigree!
Finlay vs Rey Mysterio
Lock-ups
leads to Finlay uppercutting Mysterio, Mysterio ducks a clothesline and nails a
dropkick, snapmare and slingshot dropkick. Followed by a slingshot splash for
two, mounted ten punches by Mysterio. Hard Irish whip by Finlay, Finlay and
Mysterio battle on the apron. Mysterio looks for a sunset flip powerbomb but
Finlay ties up Mysterio using the ringskirt. Clubbing blows by Mysterio, Mysterio
is hurled into the ringpost. Fujiwara armbar by Finlay, Mysterio battles out
but Finlay maintains control with a short-arm clothesline. Elbows by Finlay,
Mysterio fights back. Finlay goes back to the arm with a hammerlock, Mysterio
snapmares Finlay into the turnbuckle.
Springboard
crossbody for Mysterio, it gets two. Springboard seated senton, dropkick for
two. Dropkick and Finlay is on the ropes, clothesline by Finlay. Finlay gets
two, Mysterio tries a hurricanrana but Finlay nails a shoulderbreaker for two.
Finlay exposes a turnbuckle, Finlay grabs his shillelagh. Mysterio kicks off
Finlay, hurricanrana to the floor. Finlay eats a massive kick on the apron,
Mysterio climbs to the top rope. Guillotine leg drop on Finlay, the referee
gives the dreaded X symbol. Mysterio shows regret over the injury, Finlay fakes
it and batters Mysterio.
So it is a
no-contest then? The match was going great. Finlay is nothing fancy in the
ring, Finlay picks a body part and works the shit out of it. Every move was on
the arm, Finlay would go the arm when Mysterio fired up, it was tremendous. Finlay’s
mannerisms and body language are fantastic. Mysterio is marvel inside of the ring, nobody can touch
him on his best day so I would have like to have seen a fitting end to the
match as opposed to an angle to prolong the feud.
No Contest!
(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Beth Phoenix vs Candice
Michelle ©
I praised
the shit out of these two at the last pay per view because these two worked
their God damn asses off adding a new dynamic to the women’s division with The
Glamazon as a big woman working with the smaller woman. Beth pushes down
Candice, Candice is tossed around by Beth. Clubbing blows by Beth, Candice
leapfrogs Beth. Delfin special for two, Beth boots Candice in the ribs. Spear
in the corner, Candice dodges another spear. Kicks and low dropkicks by Candice
for two, Beth powers out again.
Candice
tries a crossbody, Beth slams down Candice. Two for Beth, seated-cobra clutch.
Candice tries to Bret her away out but Beth kicks out at two. Candice runs Beth
into the turnbuckle hard, forearms by Candice. Flying forearm, dropkicks and a
spinning heel kick. Candice climbs high, crossbody for two. Beth spears Candice
into the corner, Candice flips over for a sunset flip for two. Backbreaker by
Beth, High-Angle Fisherman Buster by Beth for the win.
This was not
as good as the prior match but still an enjoyable watch, Candice fought from
underneath the entire time as Beth was clearly too strong for the champion.
With each rally, Candice faded as Beth wore her down until eventually, it was
time for Beth to ascend as the rightful Queen of the division, I would have
liked more time to better showcase Candice as an underdog but this was Beth’s
night and she deserved it being so different to anything else that the WWE had
at the time.
Winner:
Beth Phoenix over Candice Michelle via Fisherman Buster!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Batista © vs The
Great Khali (Punjabi Prison Match)
Batista defends
his championship against Khali in Khali’s match, the concept is stupid and ridiculous
with escaping two cages and time limits to do so, silly business really but I
shall do my best to call this match. Batista brings the pain early before Khali
boots and slaps Batista, Khali asks for a door to open. Khali does not escape
in time, the door will never open again now. The two struggle, boot by Khali,
scoop slam by Khali. Khali misses a leg drop, Spear from Batista. Batista calls
for the door to be opened, Khali and Batista struggle at the door.
Khali chokes
Batista against the bamboo cage, Khali chokes Batista with a rope. Khali whips
Batista with a strap, Khali asks for the third door to be opened. Batista
batters Khali, spinebuster by Batista. Neither man makes it to the door,
Batista whips Khali over and over. Batista begins climbing the structure even
though it is not in the rules. Khali gives chase, Khali stomps on Batista from
the top rope. Batista catches Khali but there is no powerbomb, Khali stops The
Animal.
Vice Grip by
the challenger, Batista is in trouble. Khali brings Batista to his knees, the
last door is finally open. Batista low blows Khali in a last-ditch attempt to
take down the challenger. Khali uses the door on Batista’s back, nobody escapes
the four doors. Guess they will climb so? Both men begin climbing the cage,
Khali pulls Batista off the cage. Khali escapes the first cage with Batista
trapped, Khali begins climbing cage two. It is a race, Batista dives to the
second cage and outclimbs Khali to win the match.
That was so
much better than I expected it to be between these two, it was enjoyable at
points which is crazy when you think at who was involved. The race down was
quite fun, Khali tossing Batista was good stuff too, they surprised me with
this match but please no more Khali at the top of the card, we get it, Khali is
big but his matches are awful.
Winner:
Batista over Great Khali via Escape!
(WWE Championship Match) Triple H © vs Randy Orton (Last Man
Standing Match)
Orton
continues to screw Triple H as Vince Mcmahon allows Orton to invoke his rematch
clause the same night that he loses the championship. Triple H is injured, his
ribs are busted and The Game is fatigued after two championship matches. Orton
smells blood, Orton works the ribs. Triple H tries a pedigree on the floor,
Orton smacks Triple H off the ramp. Orton pummels the ribs of The Game, Triple
H is knocked to the floor. Triple H is dropped on the barricade, Triple H is sent
crashing into the steel steps. Dropkick from Orton, facebuster from Triple H in
desperation. Orton backbreaker, Orton chokes Triple H with a camera cable.
Triple H
stands at nine, monitor to the head from Orton. Orton tries an RKO but Triple H
shoves off Orton who crashes through the announce table. Orton stands at nine,
low blow by Orton. Triple H spinebusters Orton on the floor, Orton stands at
nine. Triple H has steps, Orton eats the steps to the head. Orton stands at
nine again! Orton stops the chair shot with a kick to the ribs, DDT on the
chair. Orton pummels The Game, Orton RKOs Triple H onto a chair. Triple H
stands at nine, bloodied by the chair. A defiant suck it from The Game but
Triple H cannot stand.
Triple H
blocks the punt, Orton cannot escape. Clothesline by Triple H, Orton is tossed
to the floor. Pedigree is blocked for a catapult, Triple H meets the ringpost.
Orton wants to use the steps, low blow by The Game. Triple H whacks the chair
onto Orton’s head that smacks off the steel steps. Orton stands at nine, Pedigree
on the table is avoided for an RKO. Orton caught Triple H completely off guard!
Very good
match between those two, if we take away the bullshit at the start of the night
and look at purely this match, it is an awesome match. Orton and Triple H bring
the goods in this match, it is brutal at times as the two batter one another
with weapons in a bid to win the war, Orton is fitting into that main event
heel role so smoothly, you would be thinking why did they ignore him for the
past year, why was this not done sooner. Orton and his character have an edge
to them, Orton is confident and downright mesmerizing at times while Triple H
provides balls to the wall energy with his charisma and feats of strength. Both
men came off looking tough at the end of this match, the match is filled with
drama and a great end to the pay per view.
Winner:
Randy Orton over Triple H via RKO!
That was WWE’s
No Mercy of 2007, a breeze of a show to get through in reflection. Nothing
special when it came to many of the matches but my only real complaint would be
the treatment of Orton as champion at the beginning of the show and Striker’s
out of character and bizarre interference in the ECW championship match.
Baffles me why Striker would just jump in when V was in no real danger and
Striker was not provoked, it was random and killed the crowd for quite
sometime. Orton and Triple H delivers what you need in a pay per view main
event, Khali and Batista delivers a great match when those two had no right too
but overall, the card is enjoyable and it looks like WWE could breathe easy
even with John Cena on the sidelines. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s
always another night!
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