Hello and welcome to another ball-breaking edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that finds itself continually asking “Who better than Kanyon”? It’s time for one of the big four, it’s time for WWE’s Summerslam 2007. Summerslam like the other members of the big four smacks you over the head with big time matches as any pay per view should and we have three main storylines coming into the event. First, we have the return of Triple H, The Game had been injured at New Year’s Revolution and left on the shelve for a number of months but it’s payback time. King Booker fresh off a return to Raw in the draft is the sacrificial lamb and I mean that in every sense as poor Booker has been setup here to fall big time. Secondly, we have The Great Khali who faces Batista in what is Batista’s fifth or sixth straight title challenge on Smackdown since Wrestlemania, it’s ridiculous but when you are not building for the future, trouble usually shows up sooner or later. Finally, we have a match that deserves the main event, Randy Orton who has had the best six months of his career, better than joining Evolution, better than winning the championship from Benoit and better than his series with The Undertaker, takes on John Cena, the man who has dominated, let me say it again because it feels good dominated the WWE since winning the WWE Championship from JBL at Wrestlemania 21. The two men who were next in line to the throne in WWE battling it out on pay per view, let’s do this!
You see how I didn’t mention Rey Mysterio returning as a big deal, you know why? Because they did fuck all with Chavo during the year to make this a big deal. However, the narrator builds up Mysterio’s return, Orton vs Cena, Batista vs Khali and the rest of the card. But wait, we have Triple H having his own promo at the end of the promo, poor Booker T.
Kane vs Finlay
This is not what I think of when I think hot opening match but we have a good bit of story going into this one with Kane having his ribs wrapped up like a mummy due to attacks from Finlay and his shillelagh. Kane uppercuts and slams Finlay but the ribs are hurting The Big Red Machine, another uppercut for Finlay. Knees in the corner to Finlay, Finlay continues to take punishment from Kane with knees and foot chokes. Irish whip to the corner, Finlay boots Kane. Kane uppercuts Finlay off the middle rope and to the floor, Kane gives chase. Big boot on the floor, Kane looks for his diving clothesline but Finlay crotches Kane, Finlay goes for the ribs.
Knees and stomps to the ribs, senton on the ribs for two. Single leg crab from Finlay, Finlay places his foot right in Kane’s ribs. Enzuigiri counter from Kane, uppercuts from Kane. Big boot, corner clothesline and make it two. Sidewalk slam from Kane for two, diving clothesline from Kane. Finlay regroups in the corner, Finlay dodges a corner splash and lands a senton for two. Finlay pulls our Hornswoggle, Hornswoggle runs as Kane sits up. Big boot for Finlay, Kane grabs Hornswoggle. Finlay misses a clothesline, Kane tries a chokeslam. The ribs are sore, boots from Finlay. Kane is down to a knee, DDT by Finlay for two. Finlay exposes a turnbuckle, the referee fixes the turnbuckle. Finlay grabs the shillelagh, Kane uppercuts Finlay. The referee takes the shillelagh, Finlay rolls out to the floor, Hornswoggle hands Finlay a second shillelagh.
Wham, to the ribs of Kane, Kane is in big trouble. Finlay enters the ring and rolls up The Big Red Machine, two-count for Finlay. Finlay is in shock, Finlay spears Kane to the corner. Kane dodges a spear from Finlay, Finlay hits the ringpost hard. Chokeslam from Kane and it is all over.
Super solid match from two veterans, I would have enjoyed more rib work from Finlay but everything he did when it came to working the ribs was done with menace and glee, Finlay has the expressions and body language down to a tee on this night, Finlay was so much fun to watch. I loved the false finish with the shillelagh and the way Hornswoggle was used in the match with Kane coming out on top at the end, great stuff.
Winner: Kane over Finlay via Chokeslam!
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Umaga © vs Carlito vs Mr. Kennedy
Happy to see Kennedy back in the ring despite how his push panned out due to injury and suspension, Umaga is the face in this match which makes it unique. Carlito has been on a massive downswing which I associated with the return of the more popular Jeff Hardy that ruined the potential feud between Carlito and Johnny Nitro. The match starts out with Kennedy trying to bargain with Umaga, Umaga knocks down Carlito and Kennedy. Hard Irish whip to Carlito, Umaga controls the ring. Carlito is knocked into the corner, Kennedy stops the hip attack. Carlito dropkicks Umaga to the floor, Kennedy stomps all over Umaga.
Carlito O Connor rolls Kennedy but the referee sees Carlito’s hand on the ropes, no cheating for Carlito. Kennedy stomps on Carlito, springboard elbow by Carlito for two. Clubbing blows by Carlito, Kennedy stops the back drop. Kennedy sends Carlito into the turnbuckle, Kennedy nails the stroke. Kennedy tries nailing Umaga, Umaga catches the foot of Kennedy and yanks Kennedy to the floor. Scoop slam on Carlito by Umaga, diving headbutt to Carlito.
Umaga misses a splash as Kennedy saves Carlito pulling him out of the way. Kennedy has a monitor, wham to the head of Umaga. Carlito covers Umaga for two, Carlito and Kennedy combine to batter Umaga. Double suplex does not work as Umaga is just too strong, Umaga suplexes both. Double clothesline by Umaga, Samoan drops for Kennedy and Carlito. Carlito saves the match, breaking the pin on Kennedy. Superkick to Carlito, running hip attack. Kennedy lowbridges Umaga, Kennedy nails a Green Bay Plunge but Umaga intervenes and nails a Samoan Spike for the win.
It was alright, they told a familiar story with the two heels ganging up on the babyface mixed up with the story of the two combining to beat the bigger opponent. This time, Umaga comes out on top, Umaga has been consistently pushed only losing to the likes of Batista, Cena and Lashley. The babyface dynamic could be a fun addition to the character of Umaga but we shall see where things go with The Samoan Bulldozer.
Winner: Umaga over Everyone Else via Samoan Spike!
Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero
As I mentioned before, Chavo had tonnes of potential when it came to his initial feud with Mysterio but that was not taken advantage of at all with Chavo quickly losing to Benoit in his next feud and transitioning to a nothing reign as cruiserweight champion. To top it off, Chavo lost his championship to Hornswoggle the month prior so we have a case of poor booking leading us to what should be a grudge match but is more a match that I cant really care for at the end of the day.
The match begins with beautiful lucha theatrics with Mysterio sending Chavo flying out of the ring, Chavo goes after the knee of Mysterio, Mysterio dodges Chavo, tope to the floor. Mysterio bounces Chavo on the steel steps, Mysterio kicks the knee of Chavo. Dropkick to the knee, more leg kicks by Mysterio. Middle rope hurricanrana, Chavo elevates Mysterio to the apron. Mysterio is too slow on the moonsault, Chavo has Mysterio in the tree of woe. Chavo goes after the leg, stomps by Chavo. Chavo sends Mysterio’s knee into the ringpost. Stretch muffler from Chavo, Mysterio is bent seven ways from Sunday. Chavo bridges into a sort of leg hold, deathlock style.
Enzuigiri in desperation from Mysterio, Chavo drops on the rope. Mysterio tries a 619 but the leg gives out, single leg Boston crab from Chavo. Mysterio escapes and has Chavo in the tree of woe, Mysterio beats the piss out of Chavo’s knee. Mysterio sends Chavo to the floor, apron senton from Mysterio. Chavo tries a sunset flip, Mysterio rolls through with a boot to the head. Two for Mysterio, springboard moonsault is countered by Chavo but Mysterio nails a tornado DDT for two as Chavo places a foot on the ropes. Mysterio misses a crossbody, Gory Bomb for two. Mysterio drop toeholds Chavo into the ropes, Chavo ducks the 619. Three amigos does not connect, headscissors takedown. 619 and Splash for the win.
Like much of their feud, this match lacked that fire and intensity. Chavo had been booked like dirt for the past number of months which squashed a lot of the interest I had in the match, Mysterio being back in the ring is fantastic as the man is one of the best inside of the ring but this match just did not click for me, Chavo’s heat segment was tame, I would have liked to have seen some nasty submissions on the leg but apart from a crab and a ringpost smash, we did not get much story.
Winner: Rey Mysterio over Chavo Guerrero via 619!
(Diva’s Battle Royal) Maria/Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Mickie James/Torrie Wilson/Victoria/Michelle McCool/Krystal/ Extreme Expose
The winner of the match will face Candice for the championship at a later date, the eliminations occur by throwing your opponent out of the ring with both feet touching the floor. Lots of kicking and screaming, not much in terms of actual wrestling. Beth dumps out Brooke with a slam, Jillian spears out Maria. Torrie is spanking Kelly Kelly, Beth has enough of that and picks up Torrie. Layla is dumped out by Melina, nothing much is happening apart from screaming as Candice looks on from ringside. Krystal kicks out Victoria, that’s a shock. Michelle McCool elbows Krystal out. Kelly is dumped out by about four Divas, Torrie dumps out Jillian Hall. Melina boots out Mickie James, Michelle and Torrie dump out Melina. Torrie and Michelle battle Beth, Beth is an animal. Torrie is dumped out and Michelle is picked up and hurled to the floor by Beth Phoenix. DUD!
Winner: Beth Phoenix over Everyone Else via Survival!
MVP Drinks With Austin
Matt screws over MVP in a drinking contest as Matt picks a substitute for the beer drinking contest. The crowd is going nuts the second Matt hints at a replacement, the crowd is rampant for The Rattlesnake. MVP tries to cheat, it does not go well as Austin Stunners MVP.
(ECW World Championship Match) John Morrison © vs CM Punk
Enter John Morrison, you have to give credit to ECW for becoming that developmental area with TV after many of the extreme alumni departed, Morrison was given space to breathe and while the promos may be try, there is growth and Punk is growing not only on the audience but upon this reviewer too. However, this series with Punk chasing the gold has been less than successful in warming me to these two.
Anyways, Punk and Morrison begin shooting for takedowns, hiptoss and scoop slam from Punk. Punk tries an apron suplex, knee from Morrison. Neckbreaker using the ropes, nasty-looking move. Elbows to the head from Morrison, rest hold from Morrison. Punk’s comeback is stopped with kicks, two for Morrison. Punk fights back once more, whip to the corner. Sunset flip out of the corner for two, Morrison looks for the catapult. Punk grabs the turnbuckle, crossbody for two. High knee in the corner, no bulldog but stepup enzuigiri for two. Powerslam for two, Punk misses a clothesline. Backbreaker and neckbreaker from Morrison for two.
Nitro misses Moonlight Drive, clothesline from Punk. Punk climbs high, moonsault by Punk for two. Hard Irish whip to the corner, Punk elevates Morrison onto the rope, Punk nails a clothesline from the middle rope. Small package from Punk, two for Punk. Head kick! Punk lifts Morrison to the top rope. Morrison stops the top rope hurricanrana, Morrison places his feet on the ropes for the win.
My feelings have not changed, I have enjoyed watching the two grow inside of the ring but their matches with one another have been nothing short of disappointing. This match is another example, the setup to Morrison’s dominance was great, a nasty looking neckbreaker that damn near killed Punk but beyond that it was rest holds, nothing vicious looking, nothing of urgency, nothing that made me think Punk was in peril. The finish was felt lame too, Punk could have been dumped on his head or maybe even an exposed turnbuckle to help the narrative of Punk having a bad neck but the hurricanrana didn’t do it for me and Morrison nearly miscalculated as he nearly missed placing his feet on the ropes.
Winner: John Morrison over CM Punk via Roll-Up!
Triple H vs King Booker W/ Queen Sharmell
Triple H’s return, Triple H is The King of Kings, King Booker is a King so we have a conflict of interest, Booker slugs it out with Triple H. Does not work, Triple H kicks Booker to the floor. Hard Irish whip, Booker elbows Triple H. Triple H clotheslines Booker to the floor, facebuster from Triple H for two. Sharmell grabs the leg of Triple H, low dropkick by Booker to the knee. Begin the leg work, scoop slam is blocked. Triple H chop blocks Booker, figure four by The Game. Sharmell rakes the eyes of Triple H, sidekick from Booker. Two for Booker, elbows from Booker. Triple H fires back, we are on the floor. Booker meets the steel steps.
Booker meets the steel steps again, Booker clutches his knee. Irish whip to the corner, corner clothesline. Spinebuster from Triple H, Booker blocks the pedigree with a punch? Elbow by Triple H, Scissors Kick misses. Book-End, Triple H kicks out at two. Sidewalk slam, Booker misses the Harlem Hangover. Pedigree is dodged the first time, sidekick misses and a Pedigree ends the match.
A glorified squash really. This was about Tripe H’s return, Booker was on his way out so it’s no surprise how the match went, the leg work was weak and already had been done with Mysterio vs Chavo so you had an overlap with that match but also, Booker did not get a lot in during the match so with two big returns, Summerslam is looking very average with only two matches left to go.
Winner: Triple H over King Booker via Pedigree!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) The Great Khali © vs Batista
That Batista’s last chance thing died fast didn’t it? Khali comes in all guns blazing with chops, stomps and elbows. Batista is reeling, Batista is sent to the floor. Elbows and stomps, clubbing blows from Khali. Shoulder claws from Khali, Batista survives but Khali nails more clubbing blows. Shoulder claws again, Batista fades but fights back. Jawbreaker, boot by Khali. Two for Khali, Batista blocks the vice grip for a spinebuster. Khali avoids The Batista Bomb, Khali grabs Batista who went to the top rope. Khali Bomb and Batista kicks out, Khali has a chair. Batista is whacked in the back, Batista wins by DQ.
You bastards, you had me sit through this match, this slow and plodding match suffering at every turn only to not pay it off with Batista winning the championship, how many times can you watch Batista fail and care? Five? Six times? I am getting sick of Batista failing and Khali as champion is a form of torture in itself, something new Smackdown please.
Winner: Batista over Great Khali via DQ!
(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs Randy Orton
Damn right! I cannot wait for this match, this has been built up for at least six months, Orton had been forgotten in a sense with The Rated RKO/DX feud not going great for Orton or Edge, Wrestlemania came and went but Orton was a different man come Backlash. Orton has taken out Dusty Rhodes, Shawn Michaels and RVD. The Punt kick has been introduced, Orton is slimy, sadistic and a snake inside of that ring. Cena has been marching strong, mowing down whoever has been put in his way but this feels different. Orton may be athletically more gifted but also more cunning than Cena. Orton may be the greatest threat to Cena’s championship reign.
The crowd has woken up, big tie-up with both men struggling for control. Side headlock by Cena, big shoulder block and side headlock takedown. Clean break in the corner, Orton grabs a headlock in desperation. Shoulder block, takedown from the challenger. Cena escapes and looks for the stfu, Orton reaches the ropes and clocks Cena hard in the face, stomps by The Legend Killer. Orton beats down Cena with punches, uppercut in the corner. Cena slinks down in the corner, Cena reverses an Irish whip and bulldog from Cena for two. Boot to the head and a clothesline to the back of the head by Orton, two for Orton. Orton dodges the diving shoulder block, Cena clutches his ribs in pain.
Orton pushes Cena off the apron and Cena bounces off the announce table. Two for Orton, sleeper from Orton. Reversal backdrop from Cena, Cena misses a splash. Orton garvin stomps all over Cena’s limbs, Orton misses a kneedrop on his head. Cena comes back but a powerslam ends that, two for Orton. Another sick sleeper from Orton, Cena escapes but Orton cuts off Cena with a dropkick. Two for Orton, Cena mounts another comeback but Orton latches onto a side headlock, Orton pulls with everything that he has, Cena is in quite the pinch.
Orton transitions to a rear-naked choke with a bodyscissors, Cena is fading. Cena powers up, sending Orton into the corner. Rights and lefts from Cena, shoulder tackles. Spinning side slam, the setup to the eventual five knuckle shuffle. It connects, FU is blocked with elbows. Orton backbreaker, Cena rolls to the apron. Rope-draped DDT from Orton, two for Orton. Orton decides it’s time to end it, Cena avoids RKO. Orton lowbridges Cena, Cena lands hard on the floor. Cena meets the steel steps, two for Orton once more. Cena nails a throwback neckbreaker out of desperation, Cena is on the apron.
Orton scouts the leg drop, Cena is crotched. Cena blocks the superplex, Kobasi-style leg drop. Cena calls for the end, FU is blocked. Hotshot from Orton, Orton stalks Cena and decides the best method of attack is a punt. Cena avoids it, drop toehold and The STFU is locked in, Orton is in trouble. Orton reaches the ropes, Cena loses concentration and walks into an RKO. 1…2…Cena kicks out! Orton picks up Cena but Cena was playing possum, FU out of nowhere and Cena is still your champion!
That felt like a main event, it was the future of the company battling it out in the ring on this night. Every move meant something, from Cena’s resilient comebacks to Orton’s cunning and sly attacks on the champion, the crowd added another ten layers of drama to this affair and it was a fitting end to the show. Orton had Cena at every turn, the champion was in peril for the majority of the match but one lapse in concentration from Orton led to Cena scooping up the challenger and retaining his championship, it could have easily been Orton’s night but the champion had a trick up his sleeve for the devious Legend Killer. This was a lot of fun and it woke me up when it came to the pay per view.
Winner: John Cena over Randy Orton via FU!
That was WWE’s Summerslam 2007, a rather tame big four WWE pay per view. The event was jam-packed with big title matches and the returns of Mysterio and Triple H but the event did not live up to the hype of a big four bar the main event. Finlay and Kane started off hot but things would take a downturn with the women’s battle royal and Intercontinental Championship match. The returns of Mysterio and Triple H were very similar in execution but also their opponents having little to no momentum coming into these matches, both matches had the heels working the repaired knee before the babyfaces come out on top with ease. Neither hit the spot for me, Punk vs Morrison needs to end fast with the matches doing little to help either man and Batista vs Khali was a slow match which was expected but the title is still around Khali’s waist and that is damn criminal. So, seek out this show for the first big showdown between Cena and Orton but not much else here for you! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!