Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that stoops as low as mocking other promotions through fancy new t-shirts! (Take That Bullet Club!) Another Saturday Night’s Main Event from the WWF, we have a boxing match between Mr. T and Ace Bob Orton, Hulk Hogan defending his WWF Championship against The Magnificent Muraco and the eccentric Adrian Adonis vs The Junkyard Dog. Let’s get it on!
(Boxing Match) Cowboy Bob Orton W/ Roddy Piper vs Mr. T
A ten round boxing match in preparation of Mr. T and Piper at Wrestlemania 2, they trade punches in the gimmicked boxing match. Jabs, hooks, uppercuts galore. Piper is admonishing the referee, they continue to throw punches. Orton locks a hold and eye pokes Mr. T, Piper talks strategy with Orton. Mr. T wants to continue fighting, Mr. T begins throwing rights and lefts. Cheap shot from Orton after the bell, Orton begins dancing full of confidence. Mr. T rocks the cocky Orton, Piper nails Orton by mistake. Mr. T knocks Orton to the floor, Orton cannot make the count. Passable but laughable at the same time. DUD!
Winner: Mr. T over Bob Orton via TKO!
King Kong Bundy vs Steve Gatorwolf
Bundy is the man, Bundy is under the guidance of Bobby Heenan. Steve Gatorwolf is a poor unlucky son of a gun. Bundy kicks Gatorwolf hard, Gatorwolf is chopped and clubbed out of the corner. Avalanche from Bundy and it’s over with Bundy getting his five count. Squash and DUD!
Winner: King Kong Bundy over Steve Gatorwolf via Avalanche!
(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs The Magnficent Muraco W/ Bobby Heenan
Hogan is running wild brother, Bundy calls out Hogan for a championship match but Hogan cannot look past Muraco. Muraco had beaten up Steamboat and turned his attention to Hogan, clubbing blows and back rakes from Muraco. Muraco loses control after an Irish whip to the corner and a back drop, Hogan rakes the back of Muraco. Heenan eats a massive right hand, more back rakes from Hogan. Hogan hammers Muraco on the floor, slugfest between the two. Left jabs and huge right from Hogan for two, bearhug from Hogan.
Headbutt by Muraco, stiff kick to the ribs from Muraco. Massive knee drop for two, Asian spike to the throat by Muraco. Knee lift from Muraco, make it two. Low headbutt from Muraco, knee to the face by Muraco. Muraco stomps all over Hogan, Hogan kicks out at two and begins to Hulk Up. Right hands, elbow and chops. Big boot and an Atomic Leg Drop, Heenan stomps on Hogan. Hogan has Heenan but here comes Bundy, Bundy assaults Hogan. Avalanche from Bundy, over and over Bundy splashes Hogan injuring the champion’s ribs and back. Bundy has made a statement tonight!
Great angle to setup the Wrestlemania match between the two, Bundy has laid out Hogan, something that had never happened to Hogan. Hogan would need medical attention, doctors surrounding Hogan. A stretcher is brought ringside, this is big news. The match was fine, your simple formulaic Hogan match with selling, Hulk Up and Leg Drop with either a clean finish or some sort of a DQ.
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Magnificent Muraco via DQ!
(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The British Bulldogs W/ Captain Lou Albano vs The Dream Team © W/ Luscious Johnny Valiant
The Bulldogs had won the non-title match a few months prior which leads us to this championship match, Davey Boy headbutts Valentine, close two. Apron suplex for two, tag to Dynamite. Double knees, headbutt from Dynamite for two. Side headlock from Dynamite, blind tag to Beefcake. Dynamite batters Beefcake, tag to Davey Boy. Davey Boy wrenches the arm of Beefcake, elbow from Davey Boy. Beefcake tags Valentine, Davey Boy military press slams Valentine for two. Tag to Dynamite, double headbutt. Knee drop from Dynamite, back suplex with a headbutt to the back of the head. Two for Dynamite, middle rope knee drop and a tag to Davey Boy.
Valentine forearms Davey Boy, Davey Boy answers with a dropkick. Small package for two, Valentine is slammed into the corner. Tag to Dynamite, atomic drop from Valentine. Tag to Beefcake, stomp to the lower abdomen. Albano and Valiant tease brawling, everyone comes out to break up the managers. Beefcake eats a massive dropkick and splash for two, Beefcake elbows Davey Boy down. Tag to Valentine, double stomp to the chest. Figure Four from Valentine, Dynamite leg drops Valentine. Tag to Dynamite, headbutts from Dynamite. Valentine delivers massive clubbing blows and a middle rope elbow for two.
Shoulder breaker from Valentine for two, tag to Beefcake. Double knees from the champions, snapmare and a jumping stomp for two. Tag to Valentine, hammering blow for two. Figure Four is blocked, Valentine meets the turnbuckle. Valentine goes high, Dynamite pulls off Valentine. Dropkick from Dynamite, Valentine puts his foot on the ropes. Clothesline from Dynamite for two, snap suplex with Beefcake eating a dropkick from Davey Boy. Dynamite whips Valentine off the ropes, both men bang heads with Valentine landing on top of Dynamite for the pin.
Best match I have seen since beginning to cover Saturday Night’s Main Event, The British Bulldogs were on fire for the whole match, lots of high energy moves and spots, so different from everything else on the card. The perfect babyface tag team for the WWF, they stole my hearts during this match and I hope there is a tag team title change somewhere down the road.
Winners: The Dream Team over The British Bulldogs via Big Collision!
Adorable Adrian Adonis vs Junkyard Dog
Adonis had undergone a transformation, a flamboyant wrestler with homosexual overtones. Nowadays, it would be panned and criticised but back then, it was perfectly fine. I mean in Ireland, we had homosexuality as a criminal act up until 1993, Adonis gets thrown around by Dog. Punches and tosses, JYD mocks Adonis and his mannerisms. Headbutt to Adonis, Jimmy Hart is whipped into Adonis. Right hand to Adonis for two, Adonis places his foot on the ropes. JYD misses a falling headbutt, Adonis attacks the referee while Jimmy Hart ties up JYD to the bottom rope. Adonis chokes JYD while Jimmy Hart taunts Dog. The referee pulls off Adonis, Adonis nails a fist drop. Adonis attempts a piledriver, JYD’s feet hit the referee. JYD sends Adonis into Hart’s megaphone, JYD wins the match.
Fun little main event, it is amazing to see how over JYD was when it came to the WWF but it seemed they never would go all the way with The Dog. Based on his performances and reactions so far, it seems unfair to have JYD not wrestling in the main event of every show alongside the likes of Hogan. Adonis had an interesting gimmick on his hands, the mannerisms and facials are there, it is just a question of how Vince would use Adorable Adrian Adonis.
Winner: Junkyard Dog over Adrian Adonis via Megaphone!
Another one in the history books, this would be quite an important Saturday Night’s Main Event for its role in building Hogan vs Bundy. Bundy looked impressive since his debut, Bundy could talk which is so important and his vocabulary is not limited to me Bundy Bundy smash Hogan. Wonderful, Hogan being stretchered out was great, adds to the drama with nobody knowing what kind of condition Hogan will be in, leaves you wanting more which is what you want from any wrestling show. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!