Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that played The Celebrity Deathmatch Video Game and Lived To Tell Their Story! It’s garbage but you know what is not garbage? Saturday Night’s Main Event, the first edition on May 11th, 1985. The aftermath from Wrestlemania, WWF’s major gamble to expand their audience and increase their revenue. This should be an hour of fun with Roddy Piper, Wendi Richter and Hulk Hogan, let’s get it on!
Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George The Animal Steele W/ Freddie Blassie vs The US Express/Ricky Steamboat W/ Lou Albano
We have the new tag team champions singing the Soviet anthem to piss off all the fans, this should be a solid six-man tag match. Sheik and Windham begin, lock-up and Sheik pushes Windham to the ropes. Side headlock by Windham, huge right by Windham. Shoulder block, hiptoss by Windham. Scoop slam, arm-wringer and a tag to Rotundo. Tag to Steamboat, axe handle to the arm and a huge chop. Armbar by Steamboat, tag to Rotundo. Double elbow, scoop slam and elbow by Rotundo for two. Tag to Steamboat, abdominal stretch by Sheik. Hiptosses on everyone by Steamboat, the babyfaces control the ring. Steamboat has Sheik, powerslam by Steamboat. Missile dropkick by Steamboat, Crossbody but Volkoff makes the save.
Volkoff is tagged in, Volkoff meets Rotundo’s boot. Tag to Windham, double dropkick for two. Tag to Rotundo, double elbow. Leg drop from Rotundo, make it two. Steele attacks Rotundo, Volkoff takes control. O Connor roll for two, backslide for two. Tag to Windham, sunset flip in the ropes. Steele is legal, lock-up and right hands by Windham. Steele is abandoned by his partners, O Connor roll for the win.
So much fun! That match was a breeze to get through, Windham & Rotundo wanted revenge for Wrestlemania, they kicked all sorts of ass. Steamboat was a human highlight reel, Sheik and Volkoff were cowards throughout the match, good stuff.
Winners: Team Steamboat over Team Sheik via O Connor Roll!
Piper’s Pit With Paul Orndorff
Piper is bitter about losing at Wrestlemania, Piper talks down to Orndorff. Orndorff does not take kindly to the words of The Hot Rod. Orndorff is taken down by the cast of Ace Bob Orton. Mr T saves Orndorff, a nice little angle to setup the next feud for Piper.
(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs Cowboy Bob Orton W/ Rowdy Roddy Piper
Hogan defends against Orton, slugfest to begin the match. Orton is knocked to the floor, Hogan is in pursuit. Big back body drop, scoop slams. Make it three, Orton says screw this and powders to the floor. Piper helps his boy Orton, Orton re-enters the ring. Knee by Orton, Irish whip to the corner but Hogan dodges as Orton smacks his cast off the ringpost. Elbows to the cast by Hogan, Hogan bites Orton. More right hands to the cast by Hogan, hotshot by Hogan. Hogan smacks Orton’s arm off the ringpost, flying knee from Orton.
Atomic drop by Orton for two, elbow to the head. Knee to the head by Orton, left hands and elbows from Orton. Hogan is shaking off the offense, Hogan is Hulking Up. Right hands by Hogan, axe bomber and an elbow for two. Headbutt by Hogan, Irish whip to the corner. Ten punches by Hogan, atomic drop from Orton. Orton setups for the superplex, Hogan batters off Orton. Axe handle and an Atomic Leg Drop, Piper waffles Hogan in the face, DQ finish.
The match was fine, I was looking forward to Orton and Hogan getting in on inside the ring, Orton was a lot of fun. Hogan was larger than life as per usual, I’d say Hogan could have gone over clean no harm done but still a fun match at the end of the day.
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Bob Orton via DQ!
(WWF Women’s Championship Match) Wendi Richter © W. Cyndi Lauper vs Fabulous Moolah
Moolah had been the manager of Leilani Kai at Wrestlemania, Moolah has her opportunity at the championship tonight, Lauper is still in Richter’s corner. The two dance while Howard Finkel announces that Cyndi Lauper is banned from the arena for this match. Lauper is disgusted while Moolah celebrates, victory is assured for Moolah in her mind.
We start with an eye rake, side headlock by Moolah. Moolah uses the ropes to choke Richter, Richter is tossed to the floor. Moolah poses, knee to the ribs. Richter is kicked off the apron, Richter dropkicks Moolah to the floor. Huge right hand by Richter, Richter throws Moolah into the ring. Back body drop by Moolah for one, clubbing blows at Richter. Boot and elbows by Richter, knee across the back by Richter. Moolah slaps Richter, choke using the ropes. Scoop slam is reversed for a small package, Richter retains her championship. Quite short, could not really rate it!
Winner: Wendi Richter over Fabulous Moolah via Roll-Up!
Junkyard Dog vs Pete Doherty
Match starts with two headbutts, massive clothesline by JYD. Doherty starts screaming like a girl when grabbed by JYD, right hands by JYD. Right hands by Doherty, JYD shakes them off and nails a big right hand. Headbutts by JYD, Doherty is yanked off the top rope. Headbutts by JYD, atomic drop. Powerslam and this match is over! Squash.
Winner: Junkyard Dog over Pete Doherty via Powerslam!
That was the first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event, to its credit it did have two championship matches. They were both not exactly great by any stretch of the imagination, Hogan in the middle of the card was weird with a squash ending the show but it was fun, it was a success and these main events will become a lot more noteworthy and important in the months and years to follow! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!