Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that eats more turnbuckles than George The Animal Steele! It’s the wrestling classic, a sixteen man tournament with the best of the WWF going at it inside of the ring. Featuring the likes of Macho Man Randy Savage, Tito Santana, The British Bulldog and Junkyard Dog, we also have Hulk Hogan vs Rowdy Roddy Piper, this could be a tremendous show so let’s get it on!
Adrian Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart vs Corporal Kirchner
We kick things off with Adrian Adonis and Corporal Kirchner, Kirchner would go onto to bigger things in FMW as Leatherface. Lock-up, Adonis pushes back Kirchner. Clean break, armdrag by Kirchner. Lock-up, another armdrag by Kirchner. Side headlock, knuckle lock from Kirchner. Back suplex from Adonis, elbow to the head. Make it two, snapmare. Elbow drop, snapmare into a sleeper. Kirchner elbows and hammers Adonis, Adonis counters a suplex for a cutter/neckbreaker. DUD!
Winner: Adrian Adonis over Corporal Kirchner via DDT?
Dynamite Kid vs Nikolai Volkoff
Kid looks to be in phenomenal shape, Kid would be fresh off tearing it up in New Japan with Tiger Mask, Volkoff sings the national anthem. Kid watches on as Volkoff sings his heart out before a missile dropkick and Kid beats Volkoff. Funny but not a match!
Winner: Dynamite Kid over Nikolai Volkoff via Missile Dropkick!
Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Ivan Putski
First pay per view appearance for Savage, a highlight from the previous Saturday Night’s Main Event against Tito Santana. Putski was a mainstay of the WWF, looks like an easy win for Savage if The Macho Man can control the power of Putski. Putski begs Savage to dive at him, Savage is running from Putski. Lock-up, Putski spits at Savage in return for Savage spitting at Putski. Savage stalls, side headlock and shoulder block by Savage. Putski does not go down, Savage meets the turnbuckle. Savage begs off, eye rake and elbows by Savage. Putski grabs a headlock, pummels Savage.
Massive right hands from Putski, Savage is knocked on his ass. Irish whip to the corner, corner pummelling by Putski. Stomping in the corner, Savage trips up Putski and steals the win with a roll-up, using the ropes for leverage.
Decent match, quick like everything else on the crowd but it told a story, Savage was terrified of Putski’s power, Putski murdered Savage anytime Putski could get his hands on The Macho Man but Savage outsmarted the powerful Putski.
Winner: Randy Savage over Ivan Putski via Roll-Up!
Ricky Steamboat vs Davey Boy Smith
Two young babyfaces going at in the ring, lock-up with a clean break. Side headlock by Steamboat, hammerlock and counters by both men. Hiptoss by Smith, back drop by Smith. Backslide by Steamboat for two, military slam by Smith for two. Front chancery by Smith, Steamboat blocks the suplex. Military press slam by Smith for two, front chancery from Smith. Suplex by Steamboat, Smith blocks a splash with his knees. Dropkick by Smith, make it two. Steamboat dodges a dropkick, Smith could not continue after smashing his balls off the middle rope. Shite!
Winner: Ricky Steamboat over Davey Boy Smith via TKO!
Junkyard Dog vs The Iron Sheik
Volkoff may have failed earlier but we have Sheik baby! The former WWF champion against one hell of a popular babyface in The JYD. Sheik jumps Dog, massive right hands by Sheik. Sheik chokes Dog with his robe, stomps by Sheik. More choking by Sheik, Sheik spits on JYD. Massive chop, JYD fires back with rights and lefts, headbutt from JYD. Sheik begs for mercy, massive headbutt with Sheik powdering. Full-nelson from Sheik, JYD counters and nails a massive right. Lariat by JYD for two, snapmare but JYD misses a headbutt. Camel Clutch, Dog survives somehow. Chops by Sheik, choking from Sheik. Headbutt by Dog, Sheik is pinned after the headbutt.
Fun due to the heat Sheik garners by just being in the ring, JYD was super over with the audience, a good mix and it would be hard to disappoint. It was the best match so far, hoping for more matches like this throughout the night.
Winner: JYD over Iron Sheik via Headbutt!
Moondog Spot vs Terry Funk W/ Jimmy Hart
Tobacco-chewin Funk is here causing chaos as Funk is one crazy motherfucker. Funk asks Spot if they should fight, Funk calls for a draw. Funk jumps Spot, Funk tries winning but Spot brawls with Funk. Spot wins the match as Funk back drops Spot into the ring. Funk gets his heat back by assaulting Spot.
Winner: Moondog Spot over Terry Funk via Count-Out!
Magnificent Muraco W/ Mr. Fuji vs Tito Santana
Lock-up, clean breaks from both men. Knees and clubbing blows from Muraco, Santana meets the turnbuckle. Stomps from Muraco, eye rake from Muraco. Crossbody from Santana for two, right hands by Muraco. Sunset flip by Santana for two, backslide for two. Muraco wants a break, stomps from Santana. Flair flip from Muraco, armwringer from Santana. Armbar, stungun from Muraco. Clothesline from Muraco, knee drop for two. Powerslam for two, Santana had his feet on the ropes, inside cradle from Santana for the win. Not much to talk about, they both did very little.
Winner: Tito Santana over Don Muraco via Small Package!
Paul Orndorff vs Cowboy Bob Orton
Former friends, Orton caused Orndorff to lose his Wrestlemania match alongside Roddy Piper. Orndorff has a bounty on his head courtesy of Bobby Heenan, Orndorff works the arm of Orton. Atomic drop with Orton’s cast hitting the ringpost and turnbuckle, armdrags into an armbar by Orndorff. Orton begs for mercy, Orndorff stomps on Orton. Knee to the head by Orton, snake eyes by Orton. Stomps to the head of Orndorff, right hands by Orton. Orndorff has a sunset flip for two, elbows from Orton for two. Backslide by Orton, massive hiptoss. Orton misses a headscissors, kicks and punches by Orndorff. Elbows by Orndorff, mat slam by Orndorff. Massive right drops Orton to the floor, massive cast shot to the head by Orton but Orndorff wins by disqualification.
It was alright, it is pretty clear now that every match is going to be short and sweet on this night which leaves little room for criticism. So, it was a match and it continued the plot between Piper and Orndorff so that’s awesome.
Winner: Paul Orndorff over Bob Orton via DQ!
Dynamite Kid vs Adrian Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart
Side headlock by Adonis, massive shoulder block. Armdrags by Kid, Adonis powders. Elbow by Adonis, catapult by Adonis. Scoop slam for one, suplex by Adonis for two. Reverse chinlock, Kid reverses with a back suplex. Kid misses a splash, Adonis drops his weight on the leg of Kid. Sharpshooter from Adonis, Kid reaches the ropes. Kid almost steals the win with a cradle, two for Kid. Adonis is shoved into the ringpost, knee drop from Kid. Clothesline, middle rope knee drop for two. Snap suplex and headbutt, Jimmy Hart is on the apron. O Connor roll by Adonis for two, Kid pushes Adonis into Hart’s megaphone and covers for the win.
Winner: Dynamite Kid over Adrian Adonis via Megaphone!
Macho Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
Savage hides behind Elizabeth, Steamboat chops the shit out of Savage. Savage pulls out Steamboat, right hands by Savage. Axe handle, rights by Savage. Leg to the head by Steamboat, headscissors to the floor. Chops by Steamboat, atomic drop on the concrete. Massive chop in the ring, back suplex by Savage. Steamboat blocks the axe handle, knee lift and rights to the face of Savage. Suplex by Steamboat, Crossbody for two. Savage pulls something out of his tights and reverses a back suplex for a massive right to the face, Savage steals the win.
Winner: Randy Savage over Ricky Steamboat via Brass Knuckles!
Junkyard Dog vs Moondog Spot
Spot jumps Dog, knee lift from Spot. Spot misses a middle rope splash, headbutts from Dog. Massive headbutt, Dog counts his own pin-fall and the match is over? Interesting!
Winner: JYD over Moondog Spot via Headbutt!
Paul Orndorff vs Tito Santana
The intercontinental champion versus Mr Wonderful, this should be good between two babyfaces. Side headlock takedown by Santana, top wristlock from Orndorff. Headscissors from Santana, stand-off. Lock-up, hammerlock from Orndorff. Santana counters for his own hammerlock, Orndorff staggers to the ropes. Side headlock by Santana, atomic drop by Orndorff. Santana is in pain, Santana’s leg has been injured. Orndorff works the leg, Orndorff forearms Santana on the floor. Both men trade punches, we have a double count-out. What was the point of showing that Santana was injured and telling that story only to have a double count-out? That’s bollocks!
(WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs Rowdy Roddy Piper
Well, this might be interesting! So, we have Hogan vs Piper for the championship, the two biggest stars in the WWF at the time when it came to feuding, nobody was hotter than The Hot Rod on the heel side of things while Hulkamania was growing each and every day my friend. Hogan and Piper begin on the floor, Hogan knees Piper in the face. Eye rakes by both men, Piper smacks Hogan in the throat. Throat thrust, eye poke by Piper. Corner clothesline by Hogan, right hand by Hogan. Back suplex, Hogan nails a scoop slam and an elbow drop. Make it two, right hands by Hogan.
In the corner, right hands by Hogan. Right hands by Piper, kicks to the chest. Middle rope press fails for Piper, bearhug by Hogan. Eye poke by Piper, right hands by Hot Rod. Sleeper from Piper, Hogan fades and falls to the mat. Hogan spills to the floor with Piper on his back, Hogan shakes off Piper’s punches. Right hands by both, boot by Hogan. Atomic drop, Piper sends Hogan into the referee. Piper has a chair, chair to the back of Hogan. Hogan blocks the throat attack, Hogan has the chair. Whack to Piper, sleeper by Hogan. Bob Orton attacks Hogan for the DQ, damn is there anything worth a damn on this pay per view? My patience is failing me big time!
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Roddy Piper via DQ!
Dynamite Kid vs Macho Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth
Lock-ups with clean breaks, Kid escapes Savage’s takedown attempts with ease, Savage has words with the fans. More jostling between the two, right hand by Savage. Shot to the ribs, right hands by Kid. Shoulder block by Kid, back drop and crossbody. Savage is in the ropes, Savage stops the sunset flip. Big double knockdown, Savage is climbing to the top. Dropkick by Kid, Savage is crotched. Superplex, Savage hooks the legs of Dynamite Kid on the way down and Savage advances to the finals.
Winner: Randy Savage over Dynamite Kid via Small Package!
(Tournament Final Match) Macho Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Junkyard Dog
They do some promotional crap before we get to the match, Savage hides behind Elizabeth. Stalling from Savage, Dog shows his superior strength. JYD headbutts Savage, atomic drop by Dog. Bearhug by JYD, Savage escapes but JYD stays in control. Dog continues to work the back, face rake from JYD. Savage manages to nail a clothesline for two, Savage tosses JYD to the floor. Double axe handle to the floor by Savage, Savage sends JYD into the ringpost. Another double axe handle by Savage, Savage continues to rough up JYD on the floor, trying to win by count-out due to the injury of his back. JYD stops the axe handle, both men are down. Headbutts by JYD, Savage is begging. Headbutt, Savage is stuck in the ropes. JYD back drops Savage to the floor, JYD manages to win by count-out!
Winner: Junkyard Dog over Randy Savage via Count-Out!
That was WWF’s Wrestling Classic, the original Survivor Series 1998 card. The first thing that came to mind when I saw this format and started watching the matches, it was like The Deadly Games of Survivor Series 1998. A tonne of matches that were simply too short to review, I found myself saying nothing about the matches because how could I? There was nothing that I could say, the matches were so short. Not anything that was memorable, I would be disappointed if you had to pay for this show, things will pick up though as we move onto 1986 with Saturday Night’s Main Event and Wrestlemania 2! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!