Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the
internet that eats more turnbuckles than George The Animal Steele! It’s the
wrestling classic, a sixteen man tournament with the best of the WWF going at
it inside of the ring. Featuring the likes of Macho Man Randy Savage, Tito
Santana, The British Bulldog and Junkyard Dog, we also have Hulk Hogan vs Rowdy
Roddy Piper, this could be a tremendous show so let’s get it on!
Adrian
Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart vs Corporal Kirchner
We kick things off with Adrian Adonis
and Corporal Kirchner, Kirchner would go onto to bigger things in FMW as
Leatherface. Lock-up, Adonis pushes back Kirchner. Clean break, armdrag by
Kirchner. Lock-up, another armdrag by Kirchner. Side headlock, knuckle lock
from Kirchner. Back suplex from Adonis, elbow to the head. Make it two,
snapmare. Elbow drop, snapmare into a sleeper. Kirchner elbows and hammers
Adonis, Adonis counters a suplex for a cutter/neckbreaker. DUD!
Winner: Adrian Adonis over Corporal
Kirchner via DDT?
Dynamite
Kid vs Nikolai Volkoff
Kid looks to be in phenomenal shape,
Kid would be fresh off tearing it up in New Japan with Tiger Mask, Volkoff
sings the national anthem. Kid watches on as Volkoff sings his heart out before
a missile dropkick and Kid beats Volkoff. Funny but not a match!
Winner: Dynamite Kid over Nikolai
Volkoff via Missile Dropkick!
Randy
Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Ivan Putski
First pay per view appearance for
Savage, a highlight from the previous Saturday Night’s Main Event against Tito
Santana. Putski was a mainstay of the WWF, looks like an easy win for Savage if
The Macho Man can control the power of Putski. Putski begs Savage to dive at
him, Savage is running from Putski. Lock-up, Putski spits at Savage in return
for Savage spitting at Putski. Savage stalls, side headlock and shoulder block
by Savage. Putski does not go down, Savage meets the turnbuckle. Savage begs
off, eye rake and elbows by Savage. Putski grabs a headlock, pummels Savage.
Massive right hands from Putski,
Savage is knocked on his ass. Irish whip to the corner, corner pummelling by
Putski. Stomping in the corner, Savage trips up Putski and steals the win with
a roll-up, using the ropes for leverage.
Decent match, quick like everything
else on the crowd but it told a story, Savage was terrified of Putski’s power,
Putski murdered Savage anytime Putski could get his hands on The Macho Man but
Savage outsmarted the powerful Putski.
Winner: Randy Savage over Ivan Putski
via Roll-Up!
Ricky
Steamboat vs Davey Boy Smith
Two young babyfaces going at in the
ring, lock-up with a clean break. Side headlock by Steamboat, hammerlock and
counters by both men. Hiptoss by Smith, back drop by Smith. Backslide by
Steamboat for two, military slam by Smith for two. Front chancery by Smith,
Steamboat blocks the suplex. Military press slam by Smith for two, front chancery
from Smith. Suplex by Steamboat, Smith blocks a splash with his knees. Dropkick
by Smith, make it two. Steamboat dodges a dropkick, Smith could not continue
after smashing his balls off the middle rope. Shite!
Winner: Ricky Steamboat over Davey Boy
Smith via TKO!
Junkyard
Dog vs The Iron Sheik
Volkoff may have failed earlier but we
have Sheik baby! The former WWF champion against one hell of a popular babyface
in The JYD. Sheik jumps Dog, massive right hands by Sheik. Sheik chokes Dog
with his robe, stomps by Sheik. More choking by Sheik, Sheik spits on JYD.
Massive chop, JYD fires back with rights and lefts, headbutt from JYD. Sheik
begs for mercy, massive headbutt with Sheik powdering. Full-nelson from Sheik,
JYD counters and nails a massive right. Lariat by JYD for two, snapmare but JYD
misses a headbutt. Camel Clutch, Dog survives somehow. Chops by Sheik, choking
from Sheik. Headbutt by Dog, Sheik is pinned after the headbutt.
Fun due to the heat Sheik garners by
just being in the ring, JYD was super over with the audience, a good mix and it
would be hard to disappoint. It was the best match so far, hoping for more
matches like this throughout the night.
Winner: JYD over Iron Sheik via
Headbutt!
Moondog
Spot vs Terry Funk W/ Jimmy Hart
Tobacco-chewin Funk is here causing
chaos as Funk is one crazy motherfucker. Funk asks Spot if they should fight,
Funk calls for a draw. Funk jumps Spot, Funk tries winning but Spot brawls with
Funk. Spot wins the match as Funk back drops Spot into the ring. Funk gets his
heat back by assaulting Spot.
Winner: Moondog Spot over Terry Funk
via Count-Out!
Magnificent
Muraco W/ Mr. Fuji vs Tito Santana
Lock-up, clean breaks from both men.
Knees and clubbing blows from Muraco, Santana meets the turnbuckle. Stomps from
Muraco, eye rake from Muraco. Crossbody from Santana for two, right hands by
Muraco. Sunset flip by Santana for two, backslide for two. Muraco wants a
break, stomps from Santana. Flair flip from Muraco, armwringer from Santana.
Armbar, stungun from Muraco. Clothesline from Muraco, knee drop for two.
Powerslam for two, Santana had his feet on the ropes, inside cradle from
Santana for the win. Not much to talk about, they both did very little.
Winner: Tito Santana over Don Muraco
via Small Package!
Paul
Orndorff vs Cowboy Bob Orton
Former friends, Orton caused Orndorff
to lose his Wrestlemania match alongside Roddy Piper. Orndorff has a bounty on
his head courtesy of Bobby Heenan, Orndorff works the arm of Orton. Atomic drop
with Orton’s cast hitting the ringpost and turnbuckle, armdrags into an armbar
by Orndorff. Orton begs for mercy, Orndorff stomps on Orton. Knee to the head
by Orton, snake eyes by Orton. Stomps to the head of Orndorff, right hands by
Orton. Orndorff has a sunset flip for two, elbows from Orton for two. Backslide
by Orton, massive hiptoss. Orton misses a headscissors, kicks and punches by Orndorff.
Elbows by Orndorff, mat slam by Orndorff. Massive right drops Orton to the
floor, massive cast shot to the head by Orton but Orndorff wins by
disqualification.
It was alright, it is pretty clear now
that every match is going to be short and sweet on this night which leaves
little room for criticism. So, it was a match and it continued the plot between
Piper and Orndorff so that’s awesome.
Winner: Paul Orndorff over Bob Orton
via DQ!
Dynamite
Kid vs Adrian Adonis W/ Jimmy Hart
Side headlock by Adonis, massive
shoulder block. Armdrags by Kid, Adonis powders. Elbow by Adonis, catapult by
Adonis. Scoop slam for one, suplex by Adonis for two. Reverse chinlock, Kid
reverses with a back suplex. Kid misses a splash, Adonis drops his weight on
the leg of Kid. Sharpshooter from Adonis, Kid reaches the ropes. Kid almost
steals the win with a cradle, two for Kid. Adonis is shoved into the ringpost,
knee drop from Kid. Clothesline, middle rope knee drop for two. Snap suplex and
headbutt, Jimmy Hart is on the apron. O Connor roll by Adonis for two, Kid
pushes Adonis into Hart’s megaphone and covers for the win.
Winner: Dynamite Kid over Adrian
Adonis via Megaphone!
Macho
Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
Savage hides behind Elizabeth,
Steamboat chops the shit out of Savage. Savage pulls out Steamboat, right hands
by Savage. Axe handle, rights by Savage. Leg to the head by Steamboat,
headscissors to the floor. Chops by Steamboat, atomic drop on the concrete.
Massive chop in the ring, back suplex by Savage. Steamboat blocks the axe
handle, knee lift and rights to the face of Savage. Suplex by Steamboat,
Crossbody for two. Savage pulls something out of his tights and reverses a back
suplex for a massive right to the face, Savage steals the win.
Winner: Randy Savage over Ricky
Steamboat via Brass Knuckles!
Junkyard
Dog vs Moondog Spot
Spot jumps Dog, knee lift from Spot.
Spot misses a middle rope splash, headbutts from Dog. Massive headbutt, Dog
counts his own pin-fall and the match is over? Interesting!
Winner: JYD over Moondog Spot via
Headbutt!
Paul
Orndorff vs Tito Santana
The intercontinental champion versus
Mr Wonderful, this should be good between two babyfaces. Side headlock takedown
by Santana, top wristlock from Orndorff. Headscissors from Santana, stand-off.
Lock-up, hammerlock from Orndorff. Santana counters for his own hammerlock,
Orndorff staggers to the ropes. Side headlock by Santana, atomic drop by
Orndorff. Santana is in pain, Santana’s leg has been injured. Orndorff works the
leg, Orndorff forearms Santana on the floor. Both men trade punches, we have a
double count-out. What was the point of showing that Santana was injured and
telling that story only to have a double count-out? That’s bollocks!
Double Count-Out!
(WWF
World Heavyweight Championship Match) Hulk Hogan © vs Rowdy Roddy Piper
Well, this might be interesting! So,
we have Hogan vs Piper for the championship, the two biggest stars in the WWF
at the time when it came to feuding, nobody was hotter than The Hot Rod on the
heel side of things while Hulkamania was growing each and every day my friend.
Hogan and Piper begin on the floor, Hogan knees Piper in the face. Eye rakes by
both men, Piper smacks Hogan in the throat. Throat thrust, eye poke by Piper.
Corner clothesline by Hogan, right hand by Hogan. Back suplex, Hogan nails a
scoop slam and an elbow drop. Make it two, right hands by Hogan.
In the corner, right hands by Hogan. Right
hands by Piper, kicks to the chest. Middle rope press fails for Piper, bearhug
by Hogan. Eye poke by Piper, right hands by Hot Rod. Sleeper from Piper, Hogan fades
and falls to the mat. Hogan spills to the floor with Piper on his back, Hogan
shakes off Piper’s punches. Right hands by both, boot by Hogan. Atomic drop,
Piper sends Hogan into the referee. Piper has a chair, chair to the back of
Hogan. Hogan blocks the throat attack, Hogan has the chair. Whack to Piper,
sleeper by Hogan. Bob Orton attacks Hogan for the DQ, damn is there anything
worth a damn on this pay per view? My patience is failing me big time!
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Roddy Piper
via DQ!
Dynamite
Kid vs Macho Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth
Lock-ups with clean breaks, Kid
escapes Savage’s takedown attempts with ease, Savage has words with the fans.
More jostling between the two, right hand by Savage. Shot to the ribs, right
hands by Kid. Shoulder block by Kid, back drop and crossbody. Savage is in the
ropes, Savage stops the sunset flip. Big double knockdown, Savage is climbing
to the top. Dropkick by Kid, Savage is crotched. Superplex, Savage hooks the
legs of Dynamite Kid on the way down and Savage advances to the finals.
Winner: Randy Savage over Dynamite Kid
via Small Package!
(Tournament
Final Match) Macho Man Randy Savage W/ Miss Elizabeth vs Junkyard Dog
They do some promotional crap before
we get to the match, Savage hides behind Elizabeth. Stalling from Savage, Dog
shows his superior strength. JYD headbutts Savage, atomic drop by Dog. Bearhug
by JYD, Savage escapes but JYD stays in control. Dog continues to work the
back, face rake from JYD. Savage manages to nail a clothesline for two, Savage
tosses JYD to the floor. Double axe handle to the floor by Savage, Savage sends
JYD into the ringpost. Another double axe handle by Savage, Savage continues to
rough up JYD on the floor, trying to win by count-out due to the injury of his
back. JYD stops the axe handle, both men are down. Headbutts by JYD, Savage is
begging. Headbutt, Savage is stuck in the ropes. JYD back drops Savage to the
floor, JYD manages to win by count-out!
Winner: Junkyard Dog over Randy Savage
via Count-Out!
That was WWF’s Wrestling Classic, the
original Survivor Series 1998 card. The first thing that came to mind when I
saw this format and started watching the matches, it was like The Deadly Games
of Survivor Series 1998. A tonne of matches that were simply too short to
review, I found myself saying nothing about the matches because how could I?
There was nothing that I could say, the matches were so short. Not anything
that was memorable, I would be disappointed if you had to pay for this show,
things will pick up though as we move onto 1986 with Saturday Night’s Main Event
and Wrestlemania 2! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another
night!
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