Friday 16 February 2018

ECW November To Remember 1999 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that does not walk with Elias! It’s ECW November to Remember, it’s ECW Wrestlemania. Their biggest show, their biggest card. The return of Sandman! Hak is back from WCW to give us a six-man tag match for our main event, not a big fan of that but we have The Impact Players and Rhino taking on Raven, Dreamer and Sandman. We also have Chris Candido vs Sabu, Taz vs Rob Van Dam in a changing of the guard and Jerry Lynn in a three-way dance. Stacked card, a disappointing main event but this might be great stuff! Let’s find out!

Opening Promo

Styles, Cyrus and Gertner open the show before Taz comes out and is a dickhead. Taz is a bitter piece of shit, Gertner is now a babyface since The Dudleys have left the company to join the WWF. Taz chokes out Gertner, Taz cuts a promo and we have our first match.

Simon Diamond W/ Dick Hertz vs Spike Dudley

Simon cuts a promo insulting the crowd, Simon is with his bodyguard Dick. Dick puns everywhere, Simon is quite the fun mid-card act. Jazz is not happy with Simon Diamond, Jazz slaps and plants The Jazz Stinger on Simon. Dick nails The Penile Implant on Jazz. Here comes Spike, so what was the actual planned match, it seems so random. Acid Drop on Dick, Simon attacks Spike. Stomps by Simon, Spike attempts an acid drop. Simon flapjacks Spike onto the turnbuckle, Simon hurls Spike to the floor. Spike tricks Simon and nails a somersault to the floor. Spike smacks a chair over Simon’s back. Simon recovers with a back drop on the floor, Simon is bleeding. Simon’s suplexes for two, Spike headbutts Simon in the balls and nails The Acid Drop for the win.

The FBI lay out Spike, huge splash and low blow but here comes Nova. Axe handle to Big Sal, sit-out spinebuster on Guido. Guido misses a shoulder tackle, facebuster by Nova. Nova climbs to the top rope, crossbody to the floor. Big Sal clubs Nova as he enters the ring, Guido goes on the offensive. Nova walks into a lariat for two, slapwar between the two. Knee by Guido, Sicilian Slice for two. Nova and Guido counter one another before  a neckbreaker from Guido for two, Guido eats a massive Samoan drop from Nova.

Right hands by Nova, powerbomb position into a cutter, Smash Mouth by Nova. Big Sal makes the save, Big Sal misses a splash. Tornado DDT by Nova on Big Sal, Tomikaze by Guido on Nova and this match is all over! Big Sal splashes Nova before Chetti makes the save. Huge kick from Chetti, here come Doring & Roadkill. Wham Bam Thank You Mam, Roadkill splashes Chetti.

Well, I got to see a tonne of people but there was not much meaning to anything inside of that ring. Spike vs Simon was so brief, why did Jazz come there to get destroyed? Why all the run-ins? I would prefer a great tag between the teams but I suppose Chetti is still selling the back injury. Just expected more based on the past pay per views.

Winner: Spike Dudley over Simon Diamond via Acid Drop!

Winner: Guido over Nova via Tomikaze!

Tajiri W/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory vs Super Crazy vs Jerry Lynn

Three of the best workers from the company at the time in ECW’s signature match. Match starts with Tajiri being wiped out, Lynn has taped up ribs. Lynn nails a headscissors takedown, Crazy answers with his own armdrag. Standing ovation, Tajiri has Lynn in The Tarantula. Crazy makes the save, Tarantula on Crazy. Lynn and Tajiri pair off, thrustkick from Tajiri. Lynn dives onto Crazy, Tajiri nails an Asai moonsault. Crazy meets the guard rail, Tajiri and Crazy are in the crowd while Lynn dives onto the two. Crazy climbs scaffolding and dives onto the two, moonsault from ten feet in the air.

Drop toehold by Crazy, Lynn bulldogs Tajiri. Gory Special by Lynn, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Lynn. Tajiri dropkicks Lynn, hurricanrana by Tajiri on Crazy. Crazy slaps Tajiri, powerbomb with Lynn making the save. Cradle Piledriver on Crazy by Lynn, Tajiri wants the pin on Crazy so Tajiri nails a Brainbuster for the elimination!

Super Crazy Has Been Eliminated!

Handspring elbow by Tajiri, nasty kick to the ribs. Low dropkick in the tree of woe, Lynn counters the handspring for a German suplex for two. Backbreaker by Tajiri, Tajiri misses a middle rope moonsault. Forearms by Lynn, Lynn tornado DDTs Tajiri for two. German suplex for two, more kicks to the ribs. Lynn avoids the brainbuster, Lynn’s back prevents the cradle piledriver. Lynn fires up, Cradle Piledriver out of nowhere and Lynn wins the match before Corino attacks Lynn. Lynn plants Corino for his interference.

Good match, loved Lynn’s fire at the end. Crazy was fantastic throughout the match, some mind-blowing chemistry style spots going on inside of that ring. They are some of the best workers in the company, no doubt about that. Loved this match, super entertaining.

Winner: Jerry Lynn over Tajiri via Cradle Piledriver!

Da Baldies vs Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney/New Jack

Angel, the leader of Da Baldies stapled New Jack’s eye, injuring The Gangsta. New Jack is out for revenge due to nearly being blinded. Mahoney and Rotten get beat down by Skull and Devito before Angel joins in, Angel begins dancing and prancing before the music plays inside of the arena. New Jack brutalizes everyone in the ring, Angel begs for mercy. Golf club to the body, New Jack uses a hoover to destroy Angel’s balls. New Jack dives from the top of a sign through a table onto one of Da Baldies. They make their way back to the ring, Skull is left in the ring with New Jack. Right hands by New Jack, New Jack staples Skull. Angel has a guitar, wham to the back of the head and Da Baldies win the match. DUD!

Winners: Da Baldies over New Jack/Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney via Guitar Shot!

Chris Candido W/ Tammy vs Sabu

Somehow Chris Candido comes in and out of ECW, I do not know how the man does it but he seems to float around the company and never seem to be involved in anything meaningful since the dissolution of The Triple Threat. Sabu is fresh off a feud with Credible so expect Sabu to bounce back in this match. Some nice takedowns and brawling on the floor before Candido takes control with a back suplex. Two for Candido, Sabu back drops Candido to the floor. Plancha by Sabu, Candido gains control in the ring. Stalling suplex by Candido, middle rope leg drop for two. Sabu avoids diving headbutt, triple jump leg drop for two.

Sabu places a table at ringside, on the barricade and apron. Candido knocks Sabu to the floor, Candido is crotched on the top rope. Tope rope hurricanrana by Sabu, camel clutch by Sabu. Candido has a table, Sabu is on the table. Candido misses the leg drop through the table, Sabu covers for two. Camel Clutch by Sabu, Sabu throws his chair at Candido. Air Sabu, Sabu baseball slides Candido. Air Sabu into the crowd, crowd brawling. Scoop slam by Candido, Sabu smacks Candido with the chair. Top rope splash by Sabu, two for Sabu. Camel Clutch by Sabu, table for Sabu. Sabu clotheslines Candido onto the table, Top Rope Leg Drop through the table for two. Snapmare, Candido dodges the triple jump moonsault. Powerbomb by Candido, two for Candido.

Piledriver by Candido, two for Candido. Superplex for two, chops by Candido. Candido eats a leg lariat by Sabu, Arabian press for two. Sunny crotches Sabu, top rope hurricanrana by Candido. Diving Headbutt for two, short piledriver. Another table, low dropkick by Sabu. Candido is on the table, Alfonso has Sunny on the table. Candido sacrifices himself for Sunny, Candido survives the leg drop. Arabian Facebuster by Sabu, Camel Clutch with Candido tapping.

That was piss-poor, I do not know how you make a match with so many tables and weapons so God damn boring. This was slow, tedious and a chore to get through, I wanted this match to finish for it was pure torture. Need to get this off my mind and out of my memories, let’s move on!

Winner: Sabu over Candido via Camel Clutch!

(ECW Heavyweight Championship Match) Mike Awesome © W/ Judge Jeff Jones vs Masato Tanaka

Two of the best in FMW came to ECW, Heyman needed main eventers so badly with Taz leaving and nobody really being in a position to take over that mantle of top star about from RVD but we were not there yet, Awesome defeated Tanaka for the championship at Anarchy Rulz and this would be a one-on-one match for the ECW championship. Corner splash by Awesome, slaps in the corner. Elbow by Awesome, Tanaka elevates Awesome to the apron. Springboard elbow and diving crossbody to the floor by Tanaka, Tanaka smacks Awesome with a chair to the head. Awesome slams Tanaka into the guard rail, belly to belly suplex by Awesome. Clothesline to the floor, Awesome Dive! Awesome springboards into the crowd, chair shot by Awesome. Tanaka shows fighting spirit before massive chair shots, Tanaka cracks Awesome. Roaring elbow using the chair, Tanaka uses a chair to break Awesome’s face. Two for Tanaka, Tornado DDT for two. Awesome stops Tanaka’s DDT for an Alabama slam.

Lariat by Awesome, Alabama Slam. Back drop by Tanaka, they battle on the apron. Sit-out Awesome Bomb through the table, two for Awesome. Awesome has a table, Tanaka plays possum. Awesome and Tanaka grapple before Tanaka superplexes Awesome through the table, two for Tanaka. Diamond Dust, Awesome ducks, German suplex and clothesline. Awesome Splash for two, Top Rope Awesome Bomb for the win.

Similar to the Anarchy Rulz and Heatwave match, these guys have their match down to a tee. It is great entertaining stuff, Tanaka takes abuse and fights from underneath, the crowd loves the guy. While Awesome is super powerful and athletic, the guys bring maximum effort all of the time. They have the ECW formula perfected and I doubt they could have a bad match with one another if they tried!

Winner: Mike Awesome over Masato Tanaka via Awesome Bomb!

(ECW Television Championship Match) Rob Van Dam © W/ Bill Alfonso vs Taz

Taz is on his way out of ECW, the best thing for Taz to do is put over the next big thing in ECW. No mistaking it, RVD was the hope that ECW would have to build around if they were to survive, best use of Taz in his last year for ECW. Series of counters, more counters before a takedown by Taz. Right hands and stomps by Taz, RVD boots Taz. Sunset flip by RVD for two, right hands by both men. Taz sends RVD crashing to the floor, they brawl on the floor. RVD crotches Taz, Taz has Alfonso before RVD dives onto Taz. Stomps from Taz, Alabama slam by Taz for two.

Forearms from Taz, Tiger Tazplex. Taz has a table, spinning heel kick by RVD. Moonsault by RVD for two, Rolling Thunder for two. Clothesline by Taz, Taz catches RVD and delivers a head & arm Tazplex through the table. Two for Taz, RVD thrustkicks a chair into Taz’s face after Alfonso slaps Taz. Two for RVD, RVD and Taz wrestle on the top rope before a split-legged moonsault by RVD for two. Spinning heel kick, Five Star Frog Splash and that’s it!

Another flat-finish by ECW, the match was ok but I was really hoping for a big finish that makes RVD look like a huge star. I did not get that! They botched a turnbuckle spot a few seconds before the ending, it took away a lot of the magic and after all that, it was one little heel kick before a frog splash with absolutely no drama. Saying it was disappointing would be an understatement, I was not happy when this match was finished, this was boring.

Winner: RVD over Taz via Five Star Frog Splash!

The Impact Players & Rhino W/ Jason/Dawn Marie vs Tommy Dreamer/Raven/Sandman W/ Francine

Sandman made a dramatic return in the ECW arena after a stint in WCW where Hak was doing fuck-all in the hardcore division. Sandman and Rhino begin, lock-up. Rhino shoves down Sandman, Sandman pulls down Rhino by the hair. Dreamer and Storm battle, right hands by Dreamer. Elbow by Storm, Russian legsweep by Dreamer. Credible is crotched on the top rope, hanging neckbreaker by Dreamer. Sandman and Credible are legal, Rhino takes down Sandman. Rhino is now legal, Credible whacks Sandman with the cane from the apron. Credible comes into the ring, Sandman is beaten down by the trio of heels.

Handspring clothesline by Storm, Rhino nails a middle rope powerbomb for two. Credible tags in, stomps by Credible. Credible misses a low dropkick, Storm nails a superkick. Sandman dodges the splash, Raven comes in off the hot-tag. Back drop to Storm and Credible, knee lift to Storm. Flair flip, Rhino Gores Raven for two. Superkick by Storm for two on Dreamer, Dreamer clotheslines Rhino to the floor. Storm planchas onto Dreamer, Raven nails The Even Flow DDT, Storm saves the match.

Rhino and Dreamer brawl, Raven gets a table. Raven stops Dreamer from attacking Rhino, Raven tries the splash and Rhino avoids the splash. Rhino Gores Storm by mistake, Sandman canes Rhino. Dawn Marie attacks Sandman, Francine and Dawn Marie roll around on the floor. Sandman kisses Dawn, Raven canes Sandman by mistake. That’s Incredible on Sandman and The Impact Players walk away with the win.

It was quick-paced in parts, a lot of things going on at different moments but not a tremendous main event by any margin. I would have been more interested in a tag team title match and a singles match between Rhino and The Sandman. It ended abruptly, not building to a satisfying climax and you know what? I am not excited to see the continuation of any of the feuds in this match, that’s your main event for your Wrestlemania? Come on, that’s not good enough.

Winners: Team Impact Players over Team Sandman via That’s Incredible!

That was ECW’s November to Remember 1999, a mixed bag for ECW’s Wrestlemania. The start to the show was very odd and rushed, run-ins galore and matches with little to no meaning in the grand scheme of things. Not my cup of tea at all, things picked up with the three-way dance and the world heavyweight championship match but all that came in between and after was very boring. Sabu and Candido dragged, Taz and RVD was nowhere near as good as it should have been and the six-man tag for all the bells and whistles, was a boring affair too. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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