Monday 19 February 2018

ECW Guilty As Charged 2000 Review

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Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that remembers Team Techno 2000! It’s time for ECW Guilty As Charged 2000, the final full year for ECW’s existence. Main event is Spike Dudley vs Mike Awesome for The ECW World Heavyweight Championship, a real David vs Goliath match, have to question how they would keep Awesome strong for that eventual match with RVD because that was the money match at the time. However, RVD is still TV champion and defending against best friend Sabu, their tag team had been interesting for a long time looking to explode and now it seems we will have a blow-off. Meanwhile, Raven and Dreamer, wrestling’s new odd couple take on The Impact Players for the tag team championships. Like ECW in 1999, there is potential here and these later pay per views have had enjoyable matches and been enjoyable pay per views. ECW’s November To Remember 1999 was disappointing so can ECW bounce back?

Opening Promo

Cyrus and Styles open the show, Cyrus is in full-on douchebag mode. Cyrus and Styles have to be one of the most underrated commentary teams in wrestling. Gertner comes out, the perfect foil to Cyrus. Gertner does his shtick, end of segment.

Mikey Whipwreck vs CW Anderson W/ Beautiful Billy Wiles & Lou E. Dangerously

Whipwreck returns from WCW to be a curtain jerker in ECW as Whipwreck faces a member of The New Dangerous Alliance. A great tribute to Heyman and The Dangerous Alliance, Lou E fits the role. Poor Wiles is no Bobby Eaton while Anderson would have decent success in ECW. Whipwreck rams Anderson into Wiles, Wiles headbutts Anderson in the groin following a drop toehold by Whipwreck. Anderson is flapjacked onto the guard rail, Wiles distracts Whipwreck. Superkick into the crowd by Anderson, ridiculous bump from Whipwreck. Running powerslam by Anderson for two, armbar from Anderson. Anderson works the arm, two for Anderson. Single arm DDT for two, huge left by Anderson. Whipwreck tries a tornado DDT, Russian legsweep for two.

Diving clothesline for two, Anderson blocks a backslide for a huge left. Whippersnapper in the centre of the ring, Lou E. pulls out the referee. Powerslam by Wiles, Anderson is on top for two. In comes Wiles, Whippersnapper on Wiles. Anderson has Lou E’s phone, Whipwreck ducks but Lou E has another phone. Whack and an Anderson Spinbuster and this match is over.

Decent opener, the gimmick is lame but it makes me laugh, I am sure Whipwreck was happy to be back wrestling in decent matches as opposed to sitting on his ass for months in WCW. Fun ending incorporating the gimmick of Lou E. I question the cheating behind the referee’s back, I mean does it matter if the referee saw it? Are there actually rules in ECW?

Winner: CW Anderson over Mikey Whipwreck via Spinebuster!

Simon Diamond/Doring & Roadkill W/ Mitch & Electra vs Nova/Kid Kash/Jazz

The feud of Jazz vs Diamond continues with Nova vs Doring’s feud on the side, Kash fills in for Chetti who was injured two pay per view ago. Electra has replaced Angelica as Lita has gone onto the WWF, first ppv appearance for Kid Kash. Jazz and Doring begin, lock-up. Side headlock by Jazz, Doring spanks Jazz. Shoulder block by Doring, Doring misses a splash. Victory roll by Jazz for two, Roadkill tags into the match. Jazz tags in Kash, armdrags for Roadkill. Dropkick too, Doring eats a spinebuster and bulldog. Jazz pulls in Diamond, chops by Jazz. Monkey flip by Jazz, low blow and Jazz Stinger. Dick saves Diamond, Diamond hugs Dick. Kash dives onto Dick and Diamond, Jazz dives onto Diamond.

Jazz chokes Dick, Nova has Doring in the ring. Falling reverse DDT, Nova neckbreakers Roadkill. Clothesline on Roadkill, Nova hits a hellavator on Doring. Roadkill saves, Lancaster Lariat of Lust/Hart Attack on Nova. Roadkill corner splashes Nova, Bare-back for two. Short slam by Roadkill, slingshot elbow by Roadkill. Dirt Road Slam, Doring nails a huge elbow drop for two. Doring struts, Chetti is here to be Nova’s partner despite his injury. Spinebuster by Nova on Doring, Nova does not want to tag Chetti.

Chetti tags himself in, clotheslines by Chetti. Kicks to Roadkill, superkick to Roadkill. Plancha onto Roadkill, plancha by Nova. Doring planchas onto Nova, the referee dives onto everyone. Chetti spots Electra, slap by Electra. Scoop slam by Chetti who enjoys the view, Doring attacks Chetti. Chetti cannot nail his finish, Wham Bam Thank You Mam by Doring. Doring knocks Nova into the guard rail, Roadkill nails The Amish Bomb on Chetti and it’s over.

A plethora of penis puns, interference and partners changing everywhere, that was like a huge fast-food pile of action and I do not know if I was happy with anything at the end of the match. I like everyone who was involved in the match and would have been more than happy with a six-man tag.

Winners: Team Diamond over Team Jazz via Amish Bomb!

Tajiri & Super Crazy vs Little Guido & Jerry Lynn

You know if you want to get these guys over, you have to stop making them just face one another? Lynn has new tights, hope there is more than that to make Lynn a big star. So, Lynn teams with Guido while enemies Crazy and Tajiri team up, a waste of a match really.

Lynn and Crazy show off athletically, armdrags by both men. Nice stuff, tilt-a-whirl armdrag by Crazy. More blocks and theatrics, Tajiri and Guido are in the ring. Slap by Guido, kicks by Tajiri. Takedown by Guido, huge slaps and a waistlock, kicks by Tajiri. Slap by Tajiri, Handspring Elbow by Tajiri. Buzzsaw kicks to Guido, Tajiri steps on Guido’s head. Massive chest slap, Fuijwara armbar from Guido. Tag to Lynn, corner clothesline by Lynn. Tarantula by Tajiri, Guido interrupts so in comes Crazy. German suplex by Crazy for two, headscissors by Crazy. Guido sidesteps Crazy, Lynn crossbodies to the floor. Tajiri Asai moonsaults onto Lynn, Guido and Crazy crowd brawl. Signature Crazy moonsault from the bleachers, Tajiri low dropkicks Lynn.

Spinning heel kick by Tajiri, Crazy returns to ringside. Sunset flip powerbomb by Lynn to counter Tajiri’s hurricanrana. Standing hurricanrana by Lynn, Tajiri rolls through into a German suplex by Lynn for two. Tajiri counters the suplex, German suplex for two. Crazy missile dropkicks Guido, ten punches by both Crazy and Tajiri, both eat powerbombs for their shenanigans. Tornado DDTs by Lynn and Guido, two for Lynn. Tajiri is under the ring, Guido faceplants Crazy. Powerbomb by Crazy, springboard moonsault for two. Lynn saves, Tajiri mists Lynn. DDT by Crazy for two, double powerbomb on Lynn but Lynn survives. Guido dropkicks Tajiri to the floor, piledriver on Lynn with Guido saving the match. Maritato by Guido on Lynn, Tajiri kicks Crazy and Brainbusters Lynn for the win.

Usually when a team comes to blows, it is because there is a reason, a deep hatred or somebody being provoked inside of the room. Guido’s attack was random, Lynn and Guido have never had an issue, they did not have a miscommunication. What was the point of that? Tajiri and Crazy was a little more understandable, this match did nothing for the four stars though. All this did was setup Corino vs Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was a lot of fun killing off Corino’s goons but why? Rhino Gores Rhodes, getting the monster over but the babyfaces clear the ring.

Winners: Tajiri & Crazy over Lynn & Guido via Brainbuster!

Angel W/ Da Baldies vs New Jack

Fuck me could New Jack not leave ECW yet? This will be a brawl, no moves just constant weapon shots and madness. I could probably skip it but for the professionalism of my career, I must soldier on through this “match”. New Jack has weapons, Angel has a head. New Jack sees weapons, New Jack sees Angel. New Jack decides to connect Angel and the weapons, love how the other Baldies are doing nothing to help their leader. New Jack whips Angel into some metal sheeting before nailing a diving elbow onto the sheeting. After a tonne of assaults, Devito and Grimes decide to get involved. New Jack dives off a balcony through a table onto Grimes, New Jack staples Devito before a shovel ends New Jack’s rampage. Pretty sure Heyman was pissed at New Jack so he kept jobbing him out to Da Baldies. DUD!

Winner: Angel over New Jack via Shovel Shot!

(ECW Television Championship Match) Sabu vs Rob Van Dam ©

Two best friends come to blows! RVD had pushed Sabu too far which leads us to two of the very best in ECW taking one another on for RVD’s television championship. RVD had been champion since defeating Bam Bam Bigelow in 1998, this should be a classic says Styles before we begin, I have a feeling that Styles is wrong.

Leg drop by RVD after theatrics, Sabu goes low with a dropkick. They brawl on the floor, Air Sabu into the guard rail. Fujiwara armbar by Sabu, springboard leg lariat by Sabu for two. Slingshot Arabian facebuster misses, RVD kicks Sabu. Handspring splash for two, RVD goes high but is shoved off the top rope to the guard rail. Baseball slide by Sabu, triple jump splash by Sabu into the crowd. Sabu has a table on the guard rail, RVD kicks Sabu. Corkscrew apron leg drop by RVD connects, Sabu is in a heap on the floor.

RVD nails a tope con hilo over the top rope, Sabu catches RVD with a nasty kick on the apron. Sunset flip powerbomb by Sabu, Sabu splashes RVD through the guard rail table. Sabu asks for tape for his leg, Sabu covers for two. Leg drop by Sabu, RVD has a chair. Chair war, Sabu throws the chair at RVD for two. Camel clutch followed by leg drop, Sabu is hobbling bad. Ref bump as RVD uses the referee to half block a leg lariat. Triple Jump Moonsault, Triple Jump Leg Drop for two. RVD Shining Wizards a chair into Sabu’s face who was on the top rope, two for RVD. Van Damanator, Sabu crotches RVD on the top rope. Hurricanrana does not work, RVD holds on for a split-legged moonsault for two. Alfonso is in the ring, Van Damanator on Alfonso. Sabu has a triple jump splash blocked, Five Star Frog Splash and RVD retains.

With their history and their chemistry, this was really bad. I do not know how much you can blame on Sabu tweaking his leg because this was going nowhere before that, did not enjoy Alfonso’s involvement in the match. Good for RVD to be going over Sabu, a great friend who would have no problem doing the job to get RVD over as the man in ECW. However, I really did not feel this match at all, it was what I would expect from a regular Sabu spotfest and that’s all I got at the end of the night.

Winner: RVD over Sabu via Five Star Frog Splash!

(ECW Tag Team Championship Match) The Impact Players W/ Dawn Marie & Jason vs Tommy Dreamer & Raven © W/ Francine

Credible and Storm had been a team since the end of Shane Douglas’ time in ECW, Credible and Storm were the new hot heels in town and were hell bent on letting the world know that they were that damn good. Credible and Dreamer had been feuding on and off before Dreamer would win the tag team championships alongside Raven in an impromptu match with The Dudleys. Raven returned to ECW following walking out of ECW but there was one problem: Raven still hated Dreamer’s guts. This leaves us with an odd couple pairing of Dreamer and Raven as champions with the added bonus of Francine, one of Dreamer’s enemies being Dreamer’s manager following Douglas leaving the company and Beulah retiring from wrestling. The story of this match is can Raven and Dreamer get along despite their problems against the well-oiled machine that is The Impact Players?

The match starts with The Impact Players ruling the ring, the heels get cocky and cut a promo, bad idea as Dreamer and Raven rough up the two. Raven and Credible are battling by the stage as are Dreamer and Storm. The Impact Players are tossed off the stage through tables, the champions pose on top of the stage. Credible is sent through another table, Dreamer and Storm are in the ring. Hotshot by Dreamer, slingshot splash for two. Tag to Raven, clothesline for two. Tag to Dreamer, neckbreaker. Storm drills Dreamer with a Superkick, Credible stomps all over Dreamer’s injured back. Stomps by Credible, jawbreaker and tag to Storm. Double back drop, two for Storm. Storm has a chair, Storm wedges the chair into between the turnbuckles. Dreamer shoves Storm into the chair, schoolboy for two. Credible is now the legal man, Credible has a chair.

Drop toehold onto the chair, Dreamer rolls to the floor. Dreamer is bleeding, neckbreaker to escape a reverse chinlock. Credible covers for two, Storm superkicks Credible by mistake. Dreamer DDT on Storm, Dreamer tags Raven. Right hands, knee lifts. Storm is knocked to the guard rail, Jason is in with a chair. Snot rag for Jason, Raven drop toeholds Credible on the chair. Baseball slide by Dreamer on Storm, That’s Incredible on Raven for two. Dreamer whips Credible to the floor, piledriver by Storm on Dreamer for two. Storm has a table, Dreamer back drops Storm through the table. Credible waffles Dreamer with a chair, Francine low blows Credible. In comes Dawn Marie, Catfight wars of 1999 continue into 2000. Francine wins the war, bronco buster on Dawn Marie. Raven saves Francine from a Singapore Cane, That’s Incredible on Raven and this match is over.

Much better than the six-man tag match that was the main event of November to Remember, it had the makings of a good match. A nice continuation for Raven as a character as Raven sacrifices himself for Francine, Francine already was sympathetic towards Raven already so this could lead somewhere interesting for the dark-hearted Raven. I imagine Raven and Dreamer were eventually meant to fight one more time one-on-one on pay per view but we would not get that far as Raven would go to WWF. This match was good for this card but nothing special over all.

Winners: The Impact Players over Dreamer & Raven via That’s Incredible!

(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Mike Awesome © W/ Judge Jeff Jones vs Spike Dudley

David vs Goliath, Awesome knocked out Spike’s girlfriend’s teeth, this sent Spike over the edge. Spike wants to kill Awesome, good idea to turn Awesome heel as Awesome had the same problem Taz had, nobody to work with at the end of the day. Awesome abuses Spike to begin, guardrail splashes, slingshot splashes by Awesome. Lariat by Awesome, Spike fights out of an Awesome bomb. Hurricanrana, Spike dives onto Awesome. Acid Drop on the guard rail, jumping chair shots. Make it three, suicide dive does not work as Awesome catches Spike. Spike nails a top rope hurricanrana, no effect on the champion. Lariat and splash for two, Spike boots Awesome from the corner three times. Double stomp from the top rope, spear to the floor.

Awesome tosses Spike to the crowd, Awesome grabs a chair. Spike is cracked with the chair, springboard splash by Awesome. Spike is bleeding, low blow on the apron. Acid Drop through a table at ringside, chair across the head by Spike. Another acid drop attempt ends with Spike ending up through a table at ringside, Super Awesome Bomb from the top rope through a table and this match is over once and for all.

Fun match, Awesome is a table whore, the man goes through tables at an alarming rate. Spike selling for anyone is usually a good day at the office, not sure if it was worthy of a main event of a pay per view, it was quite one-sided granted it was the story of the match but I don’t know felt like an extended squash and that does not exactly scream great main event in my eyes.

Winner: Mike Awesome over Spike Dudley via Super Awesome Bomb!

That was ECW’s Guilty As Charged 2000, a fun show at its best and pure filler at its worst. The matches which I looked most forward to were fun but came off as rushed or simply a squash. RVD vs Sabu did not deliver, thought it was ugly and slow at times with a finish that did not exactly set the world on fire for such a big blow-off to such an emotional and storied rivalry. I am digging the continued push of The Impact Players, Raven and Dreamer could be going somewhere fun and Mike Awesome does look unstoppable. But the match quality was lacking this time, a fun show and a breeze to sit through at times but nothing you need to see here. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!

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