Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomanaic Wrestling Review, the only wrestling review series on the internet that hates sneezing more than Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon! I am powering on through ECW, we are speaking about 1999 and it’s time for Hardcore Heaven 1999! One of my thoughts from the last pay per view has come to life as ECW has no real top heel to battle Taz so we will have one half of The Dudleys in Bubba Ray taking on Taz for the ECW Championship. It’s rematch city as RVD battles Jerry Lynn once more and we have Lance Storm vs Tommy Dreamer. It is the best card they can put together and Living Dangerously was just awful so this show can’t possibly be worst? Right? Right?
Taz vs Chris Candido
Didn’t this happen at Hardcore Heaven before? Anyways, Candido has The Dudleys in his corner as insurance, Taz clotheslines The Dudleys. German Tazplex, head and arm Tazplex. Powerbomb by Candido out of nowhere, Candido climbs to the top rope. Taz dodges the headbutt, exploder Tazplex. Tazmission and Candido taps immediately. So, was that Candido’s farewell? Dudleys 3D Taz and that’s the end of that. DUD!
Winner: Taz over Candido via Tazmission!
The Dudley Boyz vs Balls Mahoney & Spike Dudley
Balls answers The Dudleys’ challenge, Cyrus is on commentary. Belly to belly on D-Von by Balls, Bubba pummels Balls. Balls is tossed off the top rope, Spike’s music hits as we see another match we have seen one billion times. Double low blow, Dudley Dog and Nutcracker Suite for two. Sign Guy Dudley pulled out the referee, Spike dives on Sign Guy. Dudleys have Balls, Spike is tossed at The Dudleys. Spike is tossed into the guard rail, double clothesline by Balls. D-Von nails a flying forearm on Balls, Samoan drop by Bubba on Spike. Bubba has a table, Spike almost rolls up Bubba for two. Bubba is on the middle rope, Spike low blows Bubba. Bubba reverses the hurricanrana for a middle rope Bubba Bomb through the table.
Two as Balls makes the save, D-Von drops Balls with an inverted DDT. 3D on Spike, Balls has his chair. Chair to the back of Bubba, chair to the head of D-Von and then Bubba. Sign Guy is caught by Balls, Gertner chair shots Balls weakily. Gertner throws fire at Balls, Balls spits fire in Gertner’s face. Low blow by D-Von and a 3D and this match is over.
Meh, it had a few spots that were good, the comedy of Gertner is usually funny but it almost seems like a waste, you could do so much with The Dudleys, people want to pay to see them get beaten up so you could at least keep them out there for longer than a few minutes. It was fine as an opener at the end of the day, wrestling was never the important part for ECW so I am basically talking shit like always so shall we move on? Let’s do that!
Winners: The Dudley Boyz over Balls & Spike via 3D!
Super Crazy vs Taka Michinoku
These two are awesome, Taka was essentially a prodigy over in Michinoku Pro, going on to become one of the world’s best junior wrestlers after escaping from the WWF. Still kicking ass in Suzuki-Gun, the match starts with a dropkick by Super Crazy. Side headlock by Taka, elbow by Taka after a shoulder block. Super Crazy nails a deep armdrag, jumping DDT by Super Crazy. Taka stops Super Crazy’s attempt at a springboard, snapmare and dropkick by Taka. Chops by Taka, Super Crazy reverses an Irish whip for a sleeper. Elbows by Taka, another sleeper before a Russian legsweep by Taka. Tornado DDT by Taka, Taka wants another but Super Crazy blocks for a sit-out spinebuster. Super Crazy climbs to the top rope, Taka crotches Super Crazy. Beautiful springboard hurricanrana for two, they trade roll-up pins.
Taka elevates Super Crazy to the floor, Taka misses his signature plancha. Super Crazy dropkicks Taka into the crowd, springboard moonsault by Super Crazy. Low dropkick by Super Crazy, Taka’s clutching his knee and Super Crazy is targeting said knee. Dragon screw legwhip, enzuigiri by Taka. Scoop slam, Taka misses his moonsault. Three Moonsaults from Super Crazy for two, Taka blocks a crossbody with a dropkick. Missile dropkick by Taka, Michinoku Driver from Taka. Super Crazy blocks a second driver for a DDT, kneeling powerbomb by Super Crazy. Cross-armed Powerbomb for the win, Super Crazy is victorious.
Good stuff, fair play to Taka who never stopped selling the leg once it was targeted, I mentioned these two were good and given more time, I would say the two could have torn the house down. Still good though, they were athletic freaks and both had an arsenal of moves that could gain ohs and ahs from the ECW faithful.
Winner: Super Crazy over Taka Michinoku via Powerbomb!
Little Guido W/ Big Sal E Graziano vs Yoshihiro Tajiri
Guido and Tajiri clash as the company is trying to get away from Tajiri and Crazy, Tajiri kicks while Guido shoots for takedowns. Some real nice mat wrestling and punches from both as the match begins, rear-naked choke by Tajiri. Guido reaches the ropes, we are back on the feet. Huge kicks by Tajiri, Guido sells magnificently. Huge slaps from Guido, stomps in the corner. Kick by Guido, Guido lures Tajiri into a Fujiwara armbar. Tajiri reaches the ropes, Guido climbs to the top. Dropkick to the arm, plancha by Guido is side-stepped. Tajiri dives onto Big Sal and Guido, Tajiri dropkicks Guido after dropping The Italian on the guard rail.
Tarantula by Tajiri, Big Sal clobbers Tajiri. Tajiri launches Guido onto the ramp after an attempted headscissors, Guido drop toeholds Tajiri onto the ramp. Guido is on the middle rope, Sicilian Slice from Guido. Two for Guido, stomps to the chest. Top rope splash for two, Fujiwara armbar from Guido. Guido stomps the arm, Guido distracts the referee. Big Sal is here, huge falling slam. Jacknife cover from Guido for two, kimura lock from Guido. Tajiri escapes, Guido throws Tajiri to the floor. Big Sal is attacking Tajiri again, scoop slam by Guido. Knee drop, huge slap war between the two.
Elbow and leg drop by Guido for two, shoulder blocks in the corner. Huge thrust kick by Tajiri, hurricanrana is countered for a powerbomb by Guido. Sicilian crab is reversed, low dropkick from Tajiri. Make it two, Guido escapes a brainbuster for a triangle chokehold, Tajiri makes it to the ropes. Tajiri spins Guido in an interesting manoeuvre, Guido eats a massive slap. Guido is placed in the tree of woe, running low dropkick. Big Sal eats a kick to the head, spinning heel kick and a Brainbuster for the win.
Another well-worked match with Tajiri and Guido showing their strengths inside of the ring, Tajiri was really starting to develop a personality by this point in the company. Beautiful kicks, great snap from them as Guido sells them so well while Big Sal as a constant annoyance getting what was coming to him at the end was very good, brainbuster is a sick finisher. Two good matches in a row, I must be dreaming.
Winner: Tajiri over Little Guido via Brainbuster!
Lance Storm W/ Dawn Marie vs Tommy Dreamer W/ Francine
Francine is in the corner of Dreamer, befriending her long-time foe as Shane Douglas would leave the company, Dawn Marie had a good gimmick going being a parody of Sunny originally before now being a parody of Beulah as Storm feuded with Dreamer. The two brawl as this is a hardcore style match, Storm eats a chair to the head and gets blasted with a bottle of water before Storm reverse DDTs Dreamer on the ramp. Elbow by Storm, Dreamed is hurled into the ring. Dreamer is tripped onto a chair, two for Storm. Fans erupt checking out Francine’s booty, got to love how the fans care so much about the wrestlers in the ring. Storm sends Dreamer into a chair, Superkick by Storm for two.
Dreamer sends Storm groin first into the ringpost, Dreamer has a guard rail in the ring. Storm dodges a chair shot and crotches Dreamer on the guard rail, Storm is on the top rope. Storm somehow misses a splash, not sure what they were looking for on that spot. Dreamer is sent flying from the top rope onto a chair, two for Storm. Boots by Storm, Flair flip by Storm. Storm ends up being back dropped through the table at ringside, Storm dents Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer is bleeding, Storm is using his belt to cut the head of Dreamer. Stunner using the chair by Dreamer, two for Dreamer. Dreamer comes to ringside, grabbing a ladder and bridging said ladder between guard rail and ring apron. Storm blocks a cutter and sends Dreamer onto the ladder, trash can lid shot to the head of Dreamer.
Baseball slide is avoided by Dreamer, Dreamer smacks Storm with the ladder. Beer to the head of Storm, Storm has the ladder on his head and is shoved into the turnbuckle. Dreamer smacks the ladder with a chair, Storms hit the referee inadvertently. Dreamer has Storm on the ladder, Dreamer eats ladder as Storm rolls out of the way. Storm has a table, Dreamer is laying on the table. Dreamer is on his feet, Dreamer nails a Spiccoli Driver through the table. Cyrus is in the ring, Francine spears and bronco busters Cyrus. Dawn pulls down Francine, Dreamer grabs Dawn. Piledriver on Dawn, Storm nails Dreamer with a trash can. Dreamer has the can on his head, Spinning Heel Kick From The Top Rope and Storm wins the match.
Good brawl between Storm and Dreamer, they had the women at ringside to add another level of drama to the match. Dreamer was solid, giving his body to all those bumps that others would wince at but Dreamer is ready, willing and able to fuck himself up just for the fans which has to be commended. This was fun, this card is doing a lot better than I expected, nothing that has really made me mad so far, let’s hope the momentum continues.
Winner: Lance Storm over Tommy Dreamer via Spinning Heel Kick!
(ECW Television Championship Match) Jerry Lynn vs Rob Van Dam © W/ Bill Alfonso
A rematch from last month, the only match worth a damn from the last pay per view. Two at their peak, mixing it up with some insane chemistry and spots that worked so well. Lynn is on the map now, a legitimate threat while RVD may be the future of the company, the hope that they have to carry them into the next year.
Side headlock by RVD, top wristlock by Lynn. RVD reverses, Lynn drop toeholds RVD. Floatover by RVD, cover for two. Nice stuff, side headlock by RVD. Shoulder block by RVD, leap frogs by both, dodges and reversals while also building upon counters from the last match, stand-off and the fans are eating this match up. Clean break from RVD, clean break from Lynn. Forearms, catapult by Lynn. RVD lands on his feet, more leapfrogs and reversals, Irish whip to the corner, Lynn flips out of the monkey flip. RVD is bleeding from his eye, kicks and forearms from RVD. Springboard, Lynn has RVD on the apron, springboard dropkick by Lynn, RVD is in a heap on the ground.
Lynn dives to the floor, guillotine leg drop by Lynn as RVD re-enters the ring. RVD is placed on the top rope, bulldog by Lynn. Two for Lynn, Lynn is crotched on the top rope, avoiding a Van Damanator the first time but eating a massive kick to the head and smacking his head off the concrete floor. Bad landing for Lynn, RVD has to stall which is nothing new for Mr. Monday Night. Lynn is bleeding everywhere, the match should be over. RVD brings Lynn into the ring, Irish whip into the crowd. Lynn looks lost, this is kind of scary. Lynn wants to continue, RVD leaps over the guard rail and delivers a running clothesline. Lynn is back up, we are in the ring. Sunset flip out of the corner, two for Lynn. Lynn’s piledriver is blocked, Alabama Slam by RVD. Rolling Thunder is dodged by Lynn, tornado DDT is blocked for a northern lights suplex for two.
RVD places Lynn on the top rope, sunset flip powerbomb by Lynn for two. RVD kicks a chair into Lynn’s face, Lynn recovers to have RVD on the top rope. RVD throws Lynn’s off the turnbuckle and through a table at ringside, RVD suplexes Lynn on the guard rail, corkscrew guillotine leg drop from RVD. RVD dropkicks a chair into Lynn’s face, Alfonso is in the ring with a chair. Sunset flip powerbomb through a ringside table by Lynn, RVD boots Lynn from the corner. Lynn cracks Alfonso with the chair, German suplex on RVD for two. Scoop slam by Lynn, RVD pump kicks Lynn.
The two struggle on the top rope, no idea what they wanted to do but it was far too complicated. Van Daminator by Lynn for two, sunset flip with roll through and pins before a Cradle Piledriver is blocked, roll-up by Lynn for two. Lynn has RVD on the top rope, RVD knocks Lynn for a split-legged moonsault for two. Five Star Frog Splash after a snapmare and corkscrew leg drop, Lynn small packages out of the frog splash, two for Lynn. Van Daminator by RVD, Five Star Frog Splash and the match is over.
Excellent considering the circumstances, poor Jerry Lynn. Lynn looked out of it after that bump but by God, they worked their asses off to deliver a match of the night performance. They were so good together, some of it I was not a fan of when it came to this match. I do not like the throwing and catching chair bullshit, makes no sense to me as why Lynn would catch the chair and let RVD kick his head in every time. RVD’s posturing can be very annoying when it is for thirty or forty seconds at a time after a simple exchange, gets a bit grating if you know what I mean. However, so many dramatic moments, so many memorable spots, this match was a tonne of fun, you should see it just for the way the crowd is reacting towards the last five minutes of the match.
Winner: RVD over Jerry Lynn via Five Star Frog Splash!
Sid vs Justin Credible
Sid kicks, punches and mauls Credible. Jason attacks Sid, Jazz hands Credible his kendo stick. Powerbomb for Jason, Credible smacks Sid with the kendo stick. No effect, Chokeslam by Sid. Storm attacks Sid, there is a DQ in ECW. No DQ when Jason does it but when Storm does it, it is a DQ? Chokeslam for Storm, Credible throws powder in Sid’s eyes. The Impact Players put the boots to Sid, Sabu comes down to the ring and puts Sid and Credible through the table, no just Sid as Storm saves Credible. What the fuck is the point of any of this? Sid kills Judge Jeff Jones and ended up in WCW in the summer of 1999, a time where nobody was watching that trash.
(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Taz © vs Bubba Ray Dudley
Lack of top heels, big test for Bubba though. Bubba was arguably the best heel on the mic in the company as Douglas would be gone, Taz makes it a falls count anywhere match. Bubba chops Taz after a distraction from Sign Guy, right hands by Bubba. Taz is thrown to the floor, drop toehold on the ramp by Taz. Stop sign to the head by Taz, Bubba is thrown onto a table. Crowd brawling, my favourite. Both men are bleeding and they eventually come ringside, right hands by Bubba. Taz nails a super Tazplex, D-Von drops Taz with a reverse DDT. Straight right hand by Bubba, corner splash by Bubba.
Clothesline by Taz, sidewalk slam by Bubba. Two for Bubba, the two men trade right hands before the two hiptoss the referee through a table. Bubba nails a Bubba Bomb for two, neckbreaker by Bubba for two. Taz blocks 3D for a DDT, Tazplex to Bubba through the table. Two for Taz, Samoan drop is countered for a Tazmission and Bubba taps out!
You have to feel for Taz in some ways, Taz reached the top of the mountain and there were no big heels for Taz to work with in the company at the time. Another match was Sabu was already stretching it, then you have Bubba who is a great talker but was unproven at that level working The Human Suplex Machine. It was more lucky for Taz to be out of the company soon because what could they do with him? Taz had nobody to really work with, it was the sad truth of the situation. Not a fan of long crowd brawling, it is lazy and after Taz’s match with Douglas, I groan every time I see Taz on the floor. Hiptoss spot was weird too, like just why would they do that ?
Winner: Taz over Bubba Ray Dudley via Tazmission!
That was ECW’s Hardcore Heaven 1999, maybe the best ECW pay per view I will review. They upped their game massively from the last show, there were fast-paced matches featuring the likes of Tajiri, Guido, Super Crazy and Taka Michinoku. Storm and Dreamer had a good brawl, it was entertaining and a good way to make Storm seem like a real threat. RVD and Jerry Lynn stole the show, they knocked it up another level after Living Dangerously, there were some moments I did not like in the match but overall, it was a tonne of fun, incredible display from two of the best. My only knocks were the Sid madness and the lack of main event heels for Taz. Considering everything though, this was the best show they could put on and I was entertained throughout, kudos to ECW for putting on a pay per view that I did not piss all over! Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!