Welcome lovers and lovettes to a very sappy edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews! While you have been receiving chocolates and flowers, I have been watching wrestling because nothing feeds the soul like wrestling. And what is the most relaxing type of wrestling? Easy, it’s UK pay per view wrestling, WWE’s Rebellion of 2002 where everyone takes it easy and every fan in attendance has a good time, these shows are not going to blow you away but more of a way for the WWE to treat the overseas fans. So, strap in and relax, this WWE’s Rebellion 2002!
Highlights play of a little boy talking about the heels and babyfaces on the Smackdown roster, some great highlights of action on Smackdown. Smackdown was killing it at the time and it is no surprise with The Smackdown Six, the cruiserweights and Brock Lesnar on top.
Stephanie Mcmahon Promo
The General Manager of Smackdown strolls down the ramp to a warm reception, Stephanie looks stunning and really has not changed over the years. Stephanie welcomes the crowd, informs the fans that Undertaker will not be at Rebellion but in his place, Stephanie informs the fans that Booker T will be competing at Rebellion!
Booker T vs Matt Hardy
For one night only, Raw superstar Booker T is here and WWE could not do much better than Booker T, I think only RVD or Kane would rival Booker T in popularity on Raw. As for Matt Hardy, Matt had turned on his brother Jeff and formed his own persona known as Matt Hardy Version 1. Matt grabs the microphone and claims that the fans need a European does of Mattitude.
Matt asks for a test of strength, pulls away his hands and poses. 1-0 to Matt Hardy, Booker raises his hand for the test of strength, pulls away his hands and poses. Lock-up, arm drag by Matt. More posing, lock-up and side headlock by Booker T. Hammerlock, Matt elbows his way out of the hold. Shoulder block by Matt and it does not knock Booker, clotheslines by Booker and a dropkick. Matt powders while Booker poses, knee by Matt and a handful of tights for a two count. Matt walks into a right hand, Matt meets the turnbuckle. Matt powders for a second time, Booker gives chase and Matt is introduced into the ring apron.
In the ring, Matt clobbers Booker. Booker battles back, Irish whip but Matt reverses for a hotshot, swinging neckbreaker by Matt. Matt is stomping all over Booker, Matt chokes Booker using the ropes. Sunset flip by Booker T out of the corner for two, side-effect from Matt for a two count. Reverse chinlock by Matt. Booker fires back but Matt nails an elbow and a leg drop, neckbreaker by Matt. Two count for Matt, chinlock by Matt for a second time. Matt kicks Booker, Irish whip and Booker counters for a spinebuster. More right hands from Booker, chops and rights to Matt.
Flying forearm, thrust kick for a two count. Leaping Harlem sidekick, two count for Booker. Matt knocks down Booker with a boot in the corner, Matt misses his second rope leg drop. Booker is on the top rope, missile dropkick and a two count for Booker. Spinkick by Booker, Matt setups for The Twist of Fate, Bookend by Booker and Matt places his foot on the bottom rope. Matt catches Booker with a boot, Twist of Fate. Cover and Booker kicks out at two, Matt goes for another Twist of Fate. Booker counters and nails The Scissors Kick for the win.
It was a nice and simple match from these two, Booker got his moves in and Matt got his moves in, they did nothing hard or fancy but they still put on an entertaining show for all the fans in attendance. Booker was a nice surprise for the fans too who were only expecting Smackdown superstars.
Winner: Booker T over Matt Hardy via Scissors Kick!
Heyman is not happy to be involved in Lesnar’s title match against Edge. Edge challenges Heyman & Lesnar for the championship and Edge can pin either man to win the championship, Heyman goes red in the face complaining to Stephanie and Stephanie’s answer is tough shit Heyman.
Dawn Marie & John Cena vs Billy Kidman & Torrie
Dawn & Torrie were butting heads over Dawn’s involvement with Torrie Wilson’s father Al Wilson. Al Wilson was showering with Dawn and this was too much for Torrie to handle. Dawn Marie is amazingly beautiful and so underrated in pains me seeing her not be talked about as one of the hottest Divas of all time. We also have a heel John Cena which would get a laugh out of any mark nowadays.
Cena jumps Kidman to start the match, headscissors from Kidman. Punches in the corner by Kidman, Cena hotshots Kidman onto the top rope, stomps to the back of the head by Cena. Hard Irish whip by Cena, stalling vertical suplex complete with squats before Kidman slides out and rolls-up Cena for a two count. Huge lariat by Kidman, Dawn tags in and kicks Kidman before Kidman stops the kicks and the slaps to tag Torrie. Torrie spanks Dawn, Irish whip and an arm drag by Torrie, low dropkick to the face for a two count.
Irish whip by Torrie, Dawn slides out of the corner, leapfrogs Torrie and executes a schoolgirl for a two count. X-Factor by Dawn, Torrie gets up and tackles Dawn, Kidman rolls around with the two women and Cen slams Torrie. Headbutt to the sternum by Dawn, Cena tags in and bumps Kidman to the floor. Cena has Torrie on her knees, low blow by Torrie and tag to Kidman. Missile dropkick by Kidman, two count for Kidman. Irish whip into the ropes, cheap shot by Dawn and Dawn is hurled into the ring. Spinebuster by Cena for two, Kidman slides out of a suplex. Bulldog by Kidman for two, Dawn splashes Cena by mistake.
Dawn and Torrie roll to the floor, enzuigiri by Kidman. Cena has been floored and Kidman nails a very dodgy Shooting Star Press for the win. Torrie and Kidman celebrate as Torrie kisses a very lucky Kidman as the two were still dating at the time.
Decent tag match with a few fun spots mixed in for the crowd, the women were passable while Cena was still green. Kidman’s energy and high-flying makes up for it in this match. Overall, nothing major but the fans are entertained.
Winners: Torrie & Kidman over Cena & Dawn via Shooting Star Press!
Funaki vs Crash Holly
This is one match I did not expect to be on pay per view, it may be a reflection on the thin rosters due to the brand split. Funaki is Smackdown’s number one announcer and the fans are happy to see Funaki. Lock-up and an arm lock by Funaki, nice kip-up from Crash but Funaki counters for a side headlock, Crash answers with his own before we have a stand-off. Fans respond to the action, Funaki asks for a handshake, Crash slaps away the hand and spits on Funaki. Crash believes he is The Karate Kick and pulls a headband out of his trunks, Funaki kicks Crash in the face, arm drag and dropkick by Funaki.
Crash begs for mercy, Funaki explodes with a right hand. Sunset flip by Funakit for two, Irish whip and Crash powders. Crash trips Funaki and drives an elbow on Funaki’s face, clubbing blow to the back of Funaki. Funaki shoots for a crossbody, Crash rolls through for a two count. Sidewalk slam for a two count, reverse chinlock by Crash. Funaki battles back, Irish whip and Crash holds onto the ropes as Funaki misses a dropkick. Huge clothesline by Crash, Irish whip into the corner by Crash. Crash poses but misses a splash, bulldog by Funaki.
Irish whip but Funaki counters for a DDT, dropkick to the nose and Crash kicks out at two. Eye poke by Crash, inverted atomic drop but Funaki fires back with a clothesline. Crash goes for a La Magistral but Funaki hangs on and catches Crash. Crowd was dead for this match, not much to say when you are putting on Heat quality matches on pay per view.
Winner: Funaki over Crash via roll-up!
(WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match) Jamie Noble © W/ Nidia vs Rey Mysterio vs Tajiri (Three-Way Dance)
This should be a good match, three good wrestlers strutting their stuff on pay per view. Noble’s reign has been ok, Noble has not appeared on pay per view for a few months but this is the second straight title match on pay per view so things are looking up. Noble knocks Mysterio off the apron before the match starts, Tajiri is thrown to the floor as Mysterio enters the ring. Mysterio clotheslines Noble onto Tajiri and nails a corkscrew plancha onto both. Mysterio and Tajiri battle, wheelbarrow bullodog by Mysterio for a two count. Northern light suplex by Noble on Mysterio, Tajiri saves Mysterio as Tajiri wants to eliminate Noble.
Handspring Elbow by Tajiri to Noble and Mysterio, Noble is in the tree of woe, running dropkick by Tajiri. Irish whip by Mysterio, Tajiri catches Mysterio in The Tarantula. Tajiri measures Noble for The Buzzsaw Kick but attacks Mysterio instead, Tajiri pays for his mistake as Noble nails The Tigerbomb for the elimination.
Tajiri has been eliminated by Noble!
Mysterio nails a frankensteiner, spinning heel kick and a headscissors. Mysterio counters a hurricanrana for a powerbomb. Two count for the champion, Noble tosses Mysterio into the ringpost, Nidia pulls the arm of Mysterio while Noble holds onto the referee. Noble attacks the arm, hammerlock by Noble. Noble continues to slam the arm of Mysterio into the arm. Mysterio battles back, slides through Noble’s leg but Noble clotheslines Mysterio for a two count. Foot choke by Noble and Noble shares a kiss with Nidia. Mysterio is stomped into oblivion, northern lights hammerlock suplex for two. Knees to the arm by the champion.
Noble shoves Mysterio into the turnbuckle arm first. Noble has Mysterio in electric chair drop position but Mysterio counters for a spinning DDT. Right hands by Mysterio, knees by Noble. Irish whip and a flapjack by Mysterio, Mysterio nails a springboard leg drop. Cover and a two, Noble elevates Mysterio to the apron. Mysterio is on the top rope, seated senton for a two count. Irish whip, Noble counters for a Falcon’s Arrow, two count for Noble. Noble misses a clothesline, last call by Mysterio. Nidia is on the apron distracting the referee.
Drop toe hold by Mysterio, Noble has the referee as Nidia trips Mysterio so Mysterio does not nail The 619. Tigerbomb by Noble, two count for Noble. Standing switch, Mysterio scores with a victory roll but Noble reverses and Nidia holds onto Noble’s hand. Nidia slaps Mysterio so Mysterio dropkicks both Nidia and Noble, double 619.
Nice change of pace from the comedic, basic matches that came earlier. Good time between the eliminations, not a fan of matches where the eliminations occur within seconds of one another. Goof stuff from Mysterio and Noble, Noble works a good grounded style and preyed on the arm of Mysterio, Mysterio showed a lot of heart and had a good comeback. Disappointing that the arm did not play into the finish but still good stuff, best match of the night so far.
Winner: Noble over Mysterio via roll-up!
The Big Valbowski/Chuck Palumbo vs Ron Simmons/Reverend D-Von
We are scraping the bottom of the barrel now, Palumbo is without his blond hair and Billy Gunn and we have the return of D-Von to pay per view. D-Von has not been on pay per view since Judgement Day. Simmons and D-Von jump Palumbo and Venis, powerslam by Simmons, Palumbo tags Venis and Venis drops D-Von over and over with back body drops and uranages.
Venis nails a double underhook suplex on D-Von as Simmons enters illegally for a spinebuster. Palumbo is held back by the referee, D-Von stomps all over Venis. Spinning reverse elbow by D-Von, tag to Simmons. Camel clutch by Simmons, Venis reverses Simmons and hot tags Chuck. Chuck nails Simmons and D-Von with huge jabs and straights. Belly to belly suplex on Simmons, Superick on D-Von. Simmons makes the save, Venis and Simmons are on the floor. Simmons nails Chuck and D-Von rolls-up Chuck for the win. A nothing match, waste of time.
Winners: Simmons & D-Von over Chuck & Venis via roll-up!
(Kiss My Ass Match) Rikishi vs Albert
Well, what do you say about this match? Two men battling and the winner gets his assed kissed, Albert calls himself wicked sexy. Albert tells Rikishi that the master of the stinkface will be kissing his ”hairy ass”. Albert is repulsed by the sight of Rikishi’s ass, shoulder block by Albert. Albert grabs a side headlock on Rikishi, another shoulder block which does not drop Rikishi. Clothesline by Rikishi, right hands by Rikishi. Albert backs away from the ass of Rikishi and powders, frustrated by Rikishi’s ass.
Albert asks for a test of strength, cheap shot by Rikishi and a headbutt which does not affect Albert. Albert clubs Rikishi in the corner after a headbutt, slaps and stomps by Albert. Albert unties a turnbuckle, right hands by Albert. Rikishi ducks and punches Albert before Albert whips Rikishi into the exposed turnbuckle. Splash by Albert, cover and a two count. Reverse chinlock by Albert who also uses the ropes for leverage. Rikishi survives the sleeper, elbows to the gut but Albert yanks Rikishi to the mat. Huge collision in the middle of the ring as both men land a clothesline.
Right hands by Rikishi, lefts and rights. Samoan drop and a DDT for a two count, Albert ducks a clothesline and nails a bicycle kick for two. Albert tries a splash, Albert hits the turnbuckle and eats a superkick. Banzai Drop by Rikishi and this match is over. Albert tries leaving and the referee threatens that Albert will be fired if he leaves the ring without kissing Rikishi’s ass. Albert low blows Rikishi and thinks that Albert would have the last laugh but Rikishi gets the upper hand, Stinkfaces Albert and dances with the announcers.
Another basic match with comedy mixed in, was entertaining. I’d say I would be enjoying this pay per view a lot more if I was in attendance. Nonetheless, an entertaining segment which the fans enjoyed and I enjoyed too.
Winner: Rikishi over Albert via Banzai Drop!
(WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match) ChRIS Benoit & Kurt Angle © vs Los Guerreros
A match with a bit of a backstory going into it, Benoit and Eddie Guerrero made the move to Smackdown from Raw, they were tag team partners and friends until the tag team tournament came along. Benoit was attacked by Chavo and Eddie which led to the end of their friendship as The Guerreros tried to pin the attack on Angle but Benoit knew Angle would attack Benoit to his face. Benoit and Angle won the championships at No Mercy and the first challengers are The Guerreros.
Angle and Eddie to start, Eddie tags in Chavo as Eddie wants no part of Angle. Lock-up, side headlock by Angle and Chavo elbows and shoves off Angle. Shoulder block by Angle and a hiptoss, back body drop and a back elbow to Chavo. Angle is in Benoit’s face, showing off so Benoit tags into the match. Benoit and Eddie lock-up, hammerlock by Eddie, reversal by Benoit. Side headlock by Eddie, shoulder block by Eddie but Benoit nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Chop to Chavo and a hard Irish whip to Eddie, tag to Angle. Right hands in the corner by Angle, Eddie nails a back elbow and in comes Chavo.
Uppercut by Chavo, clubbing blows by Chavo but Angle answers back with a German suplex, Eddie enters illegally and Benoit nails a German on Eddie. Germans in stereo by the champions, Eddie is in the ring with Angle. Chavo is in the ring with Angle, Eddie looks to be hurt and the referee does make an X symbol, not sure what is going on at this point but Benoit keeps working Chavo in the ring, knee to the mid-section by Benoit. Chavo battles back and Eddie tags in, seems to be fine. Eddie stomps all over Benoit, Chavo chokes Benoit behind the referee’s back. Back suplex by Eddie, Benoit swings at Eddie but Benoit is hurting. Tag to Chavo, shots to the ribs of Benoit.
Benoit fires back at Chavo, Benoit almost has The Crossface but Chavo reaches the ropes and throws Benoit to the floor, Chavo pulls away the referee and Eddie suplexes Benoit on the floor, slingshot hilo from Eddie for a two count. Gory Special from Eddie, middle of the ring and Benoit is in serious trouble. Benoit rolls-up Eddie but Eddie kicks out at two, clothesline from Eddie. Tag to Chavo, Chavo stomps away on Benoit. European uppercuts from Chavo find the mark, Benoit blocks a third uppercut for a backslide but Eddie breaks up the pin. Chavo cheap shots Angle, tag to Eddie. Stomps by Eddie but Benoit counters an Irish whip for a flapjack, powerbomb by Benoit. Chavo hotshots Benoit from the apron.
Benoit catches Chavo for The Crossface, Eddie attacks Benoit and Angle attacks Eddie. Eddie re-enters and Frog Splashes Chavo by mistake and this allows Angle to receive the tag. Clotheslines by Angle, back body drop, German suplex on Chavo and a belly to belly on Eddie. Chavo makes the save, dropkick to Angle. In comes Benoit, German suplex on Chavo and another German suplex on Eddie. Diving Headbutt by Benoit, Angle covers and Chavo makes another save. Suplex by Chavo on Angle, Chavo and Benoit spill out to the floor. Eddie climbs to the top, Angle springs up but Angle is shoved off by Eddie.
Frog Splash but Benoit saves Angle, Benoit suplexes Chavo to the floor. Eddie shoves Angle into Benoit, Eddie takes the leg of Angle and Laso from El Paso by Eddie. The referee is down and Angle reverses into an Ankle Lock. Eddie is tapping over and over, Chavo nails Angle with the championship belt. Chavo rolls in the referee, Angle kicks out at two! Chavo is on the top rope, Benoit shoves on Chavo, Benoit hotshots Eddie and Angle nails The Angle Slam. Benoit and Angle retain their championships.
Best match of the night, these four men do not know how to have a terrible match. Those last five minutes were really good, more teasing of tension between the champions, Eddie & Chavo cheating their way to almost winning and in the end, Benoit and Angle coming together and beating Eddie and Chavo. Eddie and Chavo worked a good heat segment on Benoit, Benoit sold his ass off in the match and Angle was on fire in the ring. Good stuff from these four who delivered on this pay per view.
Winners: Benoit & Angle over Los Guerreros via Angle Slam!
(WWE Championship Match) Edge vs Brock Lesnar © & Paul Heyman
A two on one handicap match which has the stipulation that if Edge pins Heyman, Edge will win the championship. A main event match for the solidly pushed Edge who continues to rise in popularity but can Edge stop the unbeatable Brock Lesnar? Lesnar had torn through Hogan, Rock and most recently, The Undertaker.
Lesnar tells Heyman to stand in the corner, out of the way. They lock-up and Lesnar shoves down Edge. Edge dodges two lock-ups from Lesnar, Edge mocks Lesnar’s pose so Lesnar picks up Edge and shoulder thrusts Edge into oblivion, stomps by the champion and Edge is laying in a heap. Irish whip by Lesnar, Edge elbows Lesnar and drop toe holds Lesnar into the turnbuckle, dropkick by Edge and Lesnar powders. Roll-up by Edge for two, Lesnar looks for a military press and Edge catches Lesnar for a sunset flip, two count for Edge. Lesnar gets mad and knees Edge, Irish whip but Edge holds onto the ropes and lowbridges The Next Big Thing. Lesnar has to be calmed down by Heyman.
Edge takes the fight ot Lesnar on the floor but Lesnar overpowers Edge. Lesnar clubs Edge on the floor but Edge sends Lesnar into the ringpost. Heyman grabs Edge’s foot and Lesnar takes control. Irish whip and Edge sidesteps Lesnar, spinning heel kick to Lesnar and a shoulder block to Heyman. Edge looks back at Lesnar and Lesnar belly to belly suplexes Edge. Edge is pulled out to the floor and Lesnar nails a spinebuster into the ringpost. Lesnar covers in the ring, two count for Lesnar. Huge backbreaker by Lesnar, Edge battles back but Lesnar knocks down Edge with ease, another two count for Lesnar. Hard shot to the back by Lesnar, Boston crab by Lesnar.
Edge makes it to the ropes, reverse chinlock from Lesnar. Edge fires back and O’Connor rolls Lesnar for a two count, Lesnar kicks out and scores with a clothesline. Huge waistlock from Lesnar, Edge crawls and makes it to the ropes after a long amount of struggling. More shoulder thrusts, Edge dodges and dropkicks Lesnar, Heyman eats a baseball slide but Lesnar nails a spinebuster. More shoulder thrusts from The Next Big Thing, foot choke by the champion. Edge dodges a shoulder thrust, Lesnar hits the ringpost. Schoolboy for two, two clotheslines by Edge and Lesnar is on his feet, flying forearm knocks Lesnar. Facebuster by Edge, Edge O Matic for a two count.
Edge clotheslines Lesnar to the floor, Edge drags in Heyman. Edge is on the top rope, double axe handle but Lesnar makes the save. Edge kicks Lesnar to the floor, crossbody takes out Lesnar. Edge is on the top rope, missile dropkick and Lesnar kicks out at two. Edge is on top again but the crossbody kills Mike Chioda. Edge block an F-5 for an Edgecution. Edge had the match won but the referee is down, Heyman hands Lesnar the chair. Edge tries hitting Heyman, Lesnar swings the chair but Edge ducks, SPEAR BY EDGE. 1…2.. Lesnar kicks out! Edge is on the top rope, Lesnar hits Edge in the ribs with the chair, F-5 and the champion retains his championship.
Good match, Lesnar was his typical awesome self. Lesnar dominated, victimized and threw Edge all around the ring. But Lesnar made Edge look great in that match, it looked like Edge was going to win the big one after that Spear, it got the crowd and everyone in attendance. It was a little slow in parts with Brock hugging Edge on the mat for what seemed like an eternity but still a good match by the standards of the night.
Winner: Lesnar over Edge via F-5!
Rebellion was your standard UK show, a lot of filler and matches not worth your time with the big matches delivering. The tag team championship match and the main event are your good matches on this show, the cruiserweight title match is fun and there is nothing else worth remembering or looking out for, it was enjoyable and not too long so it is a thumbs up pay per view for me. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!
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