Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the
internet that is harder to sit through than Sasha Banks and Bayley’s “feud”!
WWE’s Royal Rumble 2008, Jeff Hardy challenges Randy Orton for the WWE
Championship, Hardy had been put through the paces by the champion but could
Hardy pull off the unthinkable and defeat The Viper? On the Smackdown side, we
have Rey Mysterio challenging Edge for the world heavyweight championship. The
Ultimate Underdog finally gets to work the main event with Edge, I expect a
kickass match to start off the year and finally, we have the royal rumble. Thirty
men vying for the goal of main eventing Wrestlemania. Royal Rumbles very rarely
suck but can 2008 start off hot? Let’s find out!
Opening Promo
One of the
WWE promo packages I remember vividly due to the WWE returning to Madison
Square Garden and the promotional video of the WWE superstars fighting in the
subway station was memorable too. Every man for himself, thirty superstars every
line that you can say off by heart by this point.
Ric Flair vs MVP
Vince had
begun the angle where if Flair loses a match, The Nature Boy would be forced to
retire. Flair has no regrets inside of the ring and will give it his all but
could MVP upset The Nature Boy? The two feel one another out, side headlock and
shoulder block by MVP. MVP gives a clean break from the corner, wristlock into
a hammerlock from Flair. MVP goes to the corner, slap from MVP. Flair chops and
punches MVP, MVP is down. Chops galore, side headlock. Shoulder block from
Flair, MVP drop toeholds Flair. Boot to the side of the head, neckbreaker from MVP
for two. Forearms from MVP, snapmare into a chinlock.
Punches in
the corner, Flair shakes off MVP and attempts the figure four, MVP shakes off
Flair. Another figure four attempt, small package by MVP for two. MVP punches
Flair in the corner, Irish whip to the corner and back drop by MVP. Player’s
Boot connects, two as Flair places his feet on the ropes. MVP believes that he
is the winner, roll-up from Flair for two. Clothesline by MVP, forearm shots by
MVP for two. Double underhook suplex for two, Flair is placed on the top rope.
Superplex by MVP, two for MVP. Slaps by MVP, Flair escapes a military press.
Chops, Irish whip to the corner and they bang heads.
MVP walks
over to Flair, chops by Flair. Small package for two, backslide from Flair for
two. Massive chop by Flair, right hands and chops to MVP. MVP is on the ropes,
Flair chops back before a throat thrust from MVP. Facebuster, Playmaker is
blocked. Figure Four from Flair in the middle of the ring and MVP taps out,
Flair is still a wrestler.
Rather basic
match, Flair’s career continues. The treatment of MVP continues to make me
angry, MVP is being treated like a joke rather than a rising star, I do not
know what they were thinking when it came to the future when Kennedy and MVP
are being stopped at every turn. Regardless, it was rather simple but that works
with Flair, Flair never fails to elicit a response from the audience.
Winner: Ric
Flair over MVP via Figure Four!
JBL vs Chris Jericho
I am so glad
to see JBL back inside the ring, JBL is one of the best heels inside of that
ring, JBL is simply a bastard. JBL cost Jericho the WWE Championship and
continued to infuriate Y2J with disrespectful comments. JBL seems reluctant to
fight with the mad Jericho. Two lock-ups end with clean breaks from Y2J, JBL
asks for the break. Cheap shot from JBL, big right hands. Flying forearm and
mounted punches by Jericho, spear from Jericho. JBL pulls Jericho to the floor,
Jericho storms back into the ring with right hands. Stiff kicks to the ribs,
Jericho ducks the clothesline, Walls of Jericho but JBL grabs the ropes instantly.
JBL is
pushed into the ring apron and steel steps, Jericho attempts a Codebreaker but
JBL counters with a stungun. Short-arm clothesline, make it two. Bottom rope
choke by JBL, rope guillotine by JBL. Right hands by JBL, sleeper from JBL.
Jericho escapes and nails a clothesline, JBL answers with a big boot. Jericho
is sent head first into the ringpost. Jericho is bleeding everywhere, right
hands by JBL. JBL batters Jericho in the corner, Jericho is bloody everywhere.
Jericho nails forearms and shoulder blocks, Lionsault by Y2J. Clothesline to
the floor, they brawl over to the announce table. Jericho cracks JBL with a
chair, JBL wins by DQ but Jericho has evened the score just a little.
I loved the
story going into the match, Jericho was furious with JBL provoking Y2J but
remaining cautious to frustrate Jericho. The blood added to the match too with
JBL bullying Jericho in a way that few heels could do within the company at the
time. The DQ finish was understandable as Jericho was beyond angry when it came
to fighting JBL but a downer because I thought these two could have a simply awesome
match, I am already happy to see JBL back in a WWE ring though.
Winner: JBL
over Chris Jericho via DQ!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Edge © vs Rey
Mysterio
The Ultimate
Opportunist battles The Ultimate Underdog, Edge managed to steal the
championship from Batista while avoiding The Undertaker. Theodore Long brings
Vickie to ringside while Hawkins and Ryder sit with Vickie. Edge shoves
Mysterio, wristlock from Edge. Mysterio kicks his way out of the hold,
springboard hurricanrana by Mysterio. Side headlock and shoulder block by Edge,
drop toehold and low dropkick by Mysterio. Middle rope choke by Edge, Mysterio is
thrown to the floor but Mysterio lands on his feet, Edge is one step ahead with
a baseball slide. Hawkins and Ryder try to get involved but they are caught by
the referee, they are ejected. Springboard senton for two, Edge elevates
Mysterio to the middle turnbuckle. Huge kick to Mysterio’s repaired knee.
Edge targets
the knee, Edge poses in front of the crowd. Edge is relentless in stomping the
knee, single leg Boston crab. Mysterio kicks off Edge, enzugiri from Mysterio.
Edge falls onto the middle rope, Mysterio runs into a powerslam. Two for Edge,
Edge attempts a Brock Lock before transitioning into an ankle lock hold. Edge
rips at the protective knee brace of Mysterio, Mysterio battles like a mad man
to kick away Edge. Wheelbarrow bulldog from Mysterio, chops and kicks by
Mysterio. Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip for a massive kick to the head
for two.
Irish whip to the corner, Mysterio nails a roll-up
senton for two. Mysterio hobbles to the top rope, double stomp by Mysterio for
two. Hurricanrana with Edge falling to the floor, Mysterio slides out for a
DDT. Two for Mysterio, Mysterio runs off the ropes and Mysterio eats a massive
boot. Mysterio ducks the spear, hurricanrana. 619, Vickie is out of her
wheelchair. Splash by Mysterio, Vickie grabs the referee. Edge misses another spear,
619 but Edge uses Vickie for a shield. Mysterio looks for the West Coast Pop
but Edge Spears Mysterio into the mat for the win.
That was a
good match, Mysterio brings all the excitement of everyone of his big matches.
Edge makes Mysterio look great, the counters and spots were great stuff and Vickie
helping her man Edge was great heel stuff, I do not think anyone was more despised
by her at the time. Finish was great too, I would love to see an extended
program between the two, Edge has been on fire since his return though.
Winner:
Edge over Rey Mysterio via Spear!
(WWE Championship Match) Randy Orton © vs Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy
fluked his way to victory over Triple H, Orton set his sights on his new
challenger. Hardy proved that he is bat-shit insane by diving off of high
places onto the likes of Umaga and the champion. Jeff Hardy’s biggest test of
his career, will Hardy rise to the occasion?
They lock-up,
clean break from Orton. Side headlock and shoulder block by Hardy, takedown by
Hardy. Orton counters for a headscissors, Hardy escapes and nails an inverted
atomic drop followed by a low leg drop. Low dropkick by Hardy for two, Orton
batters down Hardy. Hardy clotheslines Orton to the floor, baseball slide and
Orton cracks his head against the barricade. Plancha by Hardy, Orton tries to
leave the match but Hardy prevents Orton leaving. Orton is thrown into the
ring, Hardy tries a springboard but Orton lands a big dropkick. Orton strolls
over to Hardy’s body, suplex on the floor. Two for Orton, Orton stomps on the
ankle of Hardy.
Knee to the
head of Hardy, Orton drops multiple knees for two. Orton clubs down Hardy,
Hardy fires back at Orton. Orton is sidestepped and sent tumbling to the floor,
Hardy nails a flying clothesline off the apron. Two for Hardy, Hardy misses a
corner spear, hitting the ringpost hard with his shoulder. Two for Orton,
rear-naked choke from the champion. Hardy breaks free, powerslam by Orton.
Another sleeper by Orton, Hardy nails a massive neckbreaker drop. Flying
forearms and clotheslines, Whisper in The Wind for two. Corkscrew Mule Kick,
slingshot dropkick by Hardy.
Hardy climbs
high, Orton rolls to the apron. No Swanton, missile dropkick by Hardy. Orton
smashes into the barricade, Hardy measures Orton. Moonsault from Hardy onto the
floor, Orton and Hardy are both down. Hardy pulls Orton into the ring, Hardy is
feeling it now. Twist of Fate is countered for The RKO and this match is over!
This was
missing something, I do not think Jeff had the complete package as a main event
talent at this time but that’s understandable as Hardy had never competed at
this level. But yeah, it felt flat. Orton did well , I believed Orton to be
carrying the match with Hardy doing his best to keep hanging in there but the
workrate or drama just was not there, underwhelming but considering the booking
of Hardy, should I be surprised?
Winner:
Randy Orton over Jeff Hardy via RKO!
30-Man Royal Rumble Match
We are
getting to the good stuff now, thirty men competing for a chance to headline
Wrestlemania. The rules are simple: elimination occurs when both feet touch the
floor, you must be thrown over the top rope. Two men start as people continually
enter throughout timed intervals. To make this easy to follow I break up entrants
in blocks of fives and highlighting superstars who are eliminated so do not
worry, you won’t miss a single elimination.
Entrants 1 To 5
Entrant is
number one is The Undertaker, number two is Shawn Michaels. Interesting at
these were the last two entrants from last year’s Rumble are kicking off this
Rumble. Taker corners Michaels, chops by Michaels. Irish whip is reversed,
Michaels flip in the corner. Throat toss to the turnbuckle, right hands by
Taker. Headbutt, big rights by The Deadman. Taker misses a big boot, Taker
survives on the apron. Number three is Santino Marella, Marella realizes what
he is in for. Sweet Chin Music to Marella and Marella has been dumped out.
Santino
Marella Has Been Eliminated by Undertaker!
HBK blocks Old
School, Taker is yanked to the canvas. Inverted atomic drops with chops, number
four is Great Khali. Taker goes after Khali, right hands stagger Khali. Brain
chop by Khali, Khali chokes Taker. Taker chokes back, Khali misses a chop and
Taker dumps out Khali.
Great Khali
Has Been Eliminated by Undertaker!
Number five
is Hardcore Holly, Holly stomps both Taker and Michaels. Corner clothesline by
Taker, Holly eats massive right hands. Holly fights back against Undertaker,
big boot to Holly. HBK tries eliminating Taker again but Taker has caught Michaels
is a Samoan drop hold. Holly stomps on Taker, Michaels chop blocks Holly.
Entrants 6 To 10
Number six
is John Morrison, Morrison locks eyes with Taker. Taker hammers Morrison,
Michaels throws Morrison to the apron, Morrison hangs on in the rumble. Scoop
slam, HBK lands an elbow. Morrison blocks and nails an enzuigiri, number seven
is Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer runs wild before Taker hammers Dreamer, Morrison and
Michaels battle by the ropes. Morrison survives yet again. Number eight is
Batista, spinebuster for Dreamer. Batista and Undertaker lock eyes but Dreamer
is in the way. Dreamer is tossed out by The Animal.
Tommy
Dreamer Has Been Eliminated by Batista!
Number nine
is Hornswoggle, Hornswoggle hides under the ring. Wise choice by Swoggle,
number ten is Chuck Palumbo. Palumbo is punching everyone, everyone is pairing
off in corners with little happening.
Entrants 11 to 15
Entrant
eleven is Jamie Noble with taped ribs, Palumbo is the target. Palumbo is hung
up on the apron, massive big boot from Palumbo, it is see you later.
Jamie Noble
Has Been Eliminated by Chuck Palumbo!
Entrance
number twelve is CM Punk. High knees to everyone, Taker shuts off the lights of
Punk with a clothesline. Palumbo is tossed to the apron by Punk, high knee and
bye bye Palumbo.
Chuck
Palumbo Has Been Eliminated By CM Punk!
Thirteen is
Cody Rhodes, Rhodes runs into The Deadman. Dropkick by Rhodes, number fourteen
is Umaga. The big names keep coming in this match, clotheslines to everyone.
Holly tries to brawl, bad idea as Umaga Samoan Spikes Holly to the floor.
Hardcore Holly
Has Been Eliminated By Umaga!
Fifteen is Snitsky,
clotheslines to everyone. Morrison eats a massive right, Rhodes almost takes
out Snitsky. Everyone hangs on, seems things are hitting a dull point.
Entrants 16 To 20
Number
Sixteen is The Miz, Miz and Morrison double team Punk right away. Taker and
Umaga square off. Seventeen is Shelton Benjamin, Benjamin shows off some incredible
agility before a superkick from Michaels ends Benjamin’s night early.
Shelton
Benjamin Has Been Eliminated By Shawn Michaels!
Number
eighteen is Jimmy Snuka, chops and headbutts by Snuka. Number nineteen is Roddy
Piper, this is getting crazy. Piper and Snuka brawl, headbutt by Snuka. Eye
poke by Piper, number twenty is Kane. Kane dumps out Piper and Snuka to begin
his Rumble.
Piper&
Snuka Have Been Eliminated By Kane!
Entrants 21 to 25
Twenty-one
is Carlito, Carlito cracks Punk with a Backstabber. Number Twenty-two is Mick
Foley, Foley runs wild. Double Arm DDT by Foley, Umaga Samoan drops Taker. The
ring is full of people, number Twenty-three is Kennedy. Facewash by Kennedy,
Mic Check on Miz. Taker comes back to life, right hands to everyone. Number
Twenty-four is Big Daddy V, Taker throws out Snitsky, Michaels kicks out Taker,
Kennedy eliminates Michaels. That was so random, out of nowhere.
Snitsky Has
Been Eliminated By Undertaker!
Undertaker
Has Been Eliminated By Shawn Michaels!
Shawn
Michaels Has Been Eliminated By Mr Kennedy!
Number
Twenty-five is Mark Henry, Hornswoggle appears and tosses out The Miz before
hiding under the ring once more.
The Miz Has
Been Eliminated By Hornswoggle!
Entrants 26 to 30
Number
Twenty-six is Chavo Guerrero, Punk and Chavo brawl. Kane boots out Morrison
with ease.
John
Morrison Has Been Eliminated By Kane!
Hornswoggle
is caught by Henry and Big Daddy V, Finlay comes out with his shillelagh and
saves Hornswoggle. Number Twenty-eight is Elijah Burke, Punk elevates Chavo to
the apron. Chavo pulls out Punk with ease.
CM Punk Has
Been Eliminated By Chavo Guerrero!
Number
Twenty-nine is Triple H, clotheslines and right hands. Cody Rhodes has been
sent flying over the top. Big Daddy V joins Rhodes. Triple H sends Foley into
Burke and they are all gone.
Rhodes/Foley/Burke/Big
Daddy V Have Been Eliminated By Triple H!
Umaga is
hammered off the ringpost twice, Pedigree by Triple H on Umaga. Who is number
thirty? Number thirty is none other than John Cena who is back from injury
months early!!! Cena pummels Henry, shoulder block, clothesline to Carlito.
Carlito is tossed out as is Chavo, Henry joins them too.
Mark
Henry/Chavo Guerrero/Carlito Have Been Eliminated By John Cena!
Spinebuster
by The Game on Cena, Umaga throat thrusts The Game. Batista Spears Umaga,
Kennedy is dumped to the floor, Umaga is dumped out too. Kane tries to
Chokeslam Batista & Triple H but the former Evolution teammates unite to
dump out Kane.
Mr. Kennedy/Umaga
Have Been Eliminated By Batista!
Kane Has
Been Eliminated By Batista & Triple H
Batista gains
control, clotheslines to Cena and Triple H. Cena and Triple H combine,
clothesline by Batista. Irish whip to the corner, boot by Cena. Spinebuster by
Batista, Pedigree is blocked for a spinebuster. Batista Bomb is blocked, Triple
H clotheslines out Batista.
Batista Has
Been Eliminated By Triple H!
Down to two,
Cena and Triple H. Rights by The Game, Cena battles back. Slugfest between the
two, Triple H eats a spinning side slam. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects, FU is
avoided. Pedigree is blocked, big knockdown in the middle of the ring. Cena
boots Triple H, FU attempt. The Game blocks, DDT by Triple H. Powerslam does
not work, Cena hangs on. Cena escapes out the back, FU is countered again but
Triple H cannot nail the pedigree, Cena has Triple H in The FU and dumps out
The Game.
Triple H
Has Been Eliminated By John Cena!
That Rumble
was ok, there was a lot of star power in this match but I feel a lot of it was
wasted. Michaels and Taker went out in such simple fashion for two big stars,
it felt like nothing and then, Taker sends Snitsky through the announce table?
What’s that for? Where could that lead to? Nowhere so why go there? What makes
this match good though is Cena’s return, nobody knew that was coming and Cena’s
return looked great. It’s a great story to tell and nobody is more over than
Cena so the energy that Cena brought into the match was a big plus while the
negatives were a rather dull section that seem to hurt the whole match and no
standout singular performances from anyone.
Winner: John
Cena Via Survival!
That was WWE’s
Royal Rumble 2008, a good Royal Rumble and start to the year. I thought about
calling this pay per view average due to match quality and the
finishes/performances present on the show but Cena’s return changes a lot when
it comes to this pay per view.s Look, the Flair was match was basic and the
Jericho vs JBL match was just about to hit its stride before they cut it off.
However, Cena’s return was massive. It was a big surprise and a great payoff
that it can sway opinion on the pay per view. Orton vs Hardy was carried by
Orton, Edge and Mysterio did well and the show was nothing spectacular like
some of the previous Rumbles but Cena’s return anchors the whole show and what
an end to the pay per view it was for Mr. Cena. Check this out because who doesn’t
love a good rumble but stay for Cena’s return! Thanks for reading and remember:
There’s always another night!
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