Sunday 20 November 2016

WWF Rebellion 2001 Review

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Good evening slapnuts and sparklecrotches to another brand spanking new edition of the only wrestling review series that thinks that Steve Corino doesn’t bleed enough: Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews! Well they all cannot be great introductions but maybe it is this Invasion storyline that is slowly chipping away at my soul. Ok let me be clear, it is bad and not well-thought at all with the wrestlers and angles coming in second place to The Mcmahons. Anybody who was not a WWF superstar or named RVD was essentially treated like the red-headed step child of the family which was not too pleasantly. Thankfully, there is only two pay per views left to go and this is one of them, this is Rebellion 2001. Rebellion along with Insurrextion are UK exclusive shows that were usually broadcast from the likes of London or Manchester. These shows have positive and negative aspects, the positives being that the crowd is starved of action as they don’t always visit England (The tours are usually around November for Survivor Series and April for Wrestlemania). So, the crowd loves everything and they make a lot of noise while the negatives are the wrestlers have fairly average matches taking it easy and there are never any title changes. Keep that in mind as you read through this review but there is excitement in the air because the big matches on this card are Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Rock for the WWF Championship, Chris Jericho defending the WCW Championship against Kurt Angle and Edge vs Christian inside of a steel cage for the Intercontinental Championship. So, let us waste no more time, this is WWF’s Rebellion 2001!

Opening Promo

Two of the biggest stars in wrestling collide once more, it is all about the WWF Championship, The Rock finally has a chance at revenge for Wrestlemania, JR and Paul Heyman add lines to the promo package and it hypes you up as is its purpose. Live from Manchester with that classic theme, the stage design looks similar to Raw at the time.

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match) Edge © vs Christian

To recap this feud briefly, Christian was jealous of Edge’s success and Christian did not want to consider himself the Jannetty of the duo so Christian joined The Alliance. Christian defeated Edge for the Intercontinental Championship at Unforgiven under dubious circumstances but it was Edge who defeated his brother in a ladder match at No Mercy with a conchairto.

 The feud comes to an end tonight inside a steel cage, Christian begins the match by stomping the bejesus out of Edge. Edge reverses an Irish whip and backdrops Christian, Edge uses his coat to choke Christian. Pins and submissions are legal in this contest, Edge punches away on Christian in the corner. Hard Irish whip by Edge on the challenger, Christian blocks Edge from smashing his face into the cage, Christian drops Edge with a backbreaker.

 Christian tries to escape the cage but Edge yanks down the challenger. Edge was looking for a Spear and Christian avoided the move which made Edge smash into the cage wall. Christian capitalizes by targeting Edge’s shoulder and neck. Christian chokes Edge and taunts for maximum douchery levels. Christian scrapes Edge’s head off the cage wall but it does not work since this cage is the classic style cage (Think of the big blue one) so the sequence comes off as awkward. Backbreaker by Christian and it is a two count, Christian climbs the cage but Edge prevents his brother from leaving the cage.

 Christian knees Edge before trying to leave through the door, Christian is pulled back into the cage by Edge, Christian regains control with a series of right hands to the mush. Christian props Edge on the top rope, Edge blocks the suplex and Edge nails a crossbody for a two count. Christian was looking for a double axe handle, Edge blocked and was looking for The Edgecution but Christian reversed the finisher and catapulted Edge into the cage wall. Roll-up by Christian and it’s another two count for the challenger. Christian locks in the sleeper, Edge begins battling back to a vertical base. Christian is not happy as Edge breaks free of his clutches, clothesline by Edge.

 Christian has Edge’s number once more and props the champion in the corner. Christian begins the ten punches of doom in the corner but Edge fires out of the corner with a Spear. Series of clotheslines and a facebuster by Edge, series of reversals in the middle of the ring which ends with Edge blocking The Unprettier into an Edge O Matic. Edge tries escaping but Christian drops Edge to the mat, Edge unloads on Christian with a flapjack into the cage wall and Edge smacks Christian’s head into the cage. 

Edge climbs to the top of the cage, Christian is in hot pursuit. Christian and Edge are standing on the top rope, Edge is crotched on the top rope. Christian is within seconds of winning, Christian is so close to the ground and Edge pulls Christian’s leg through the cage and ties Christian’s legs together with tape from his wrist. In a creative spot, Edge hogties Christian to the cage wall and climbs over for the escape. 

A cage match is seen as the end all and be all to a feud before WWE started throwing out Hell in a Cell matches every October because match-themed pay per views are a brilliant idea (You think they would hire me?). Anyways, that is a story for another time, the point I am making here is this should be for a blood-feud, the match should be filled with hatred, intensity and the feeling that the two people involved want to murder one another.

 This match does not feel like what I described, I know it is in The UK and they are going to take it easy but there was not a lot involving the cage, there was no blood and I did not feel Christian’s desperation to overcome his brother or Edge’s satisfaction in triumphing over his brother. The story was a very juicy and interesting one but this blow-off left way too much to be desired. That being said, the finish was entertaining and creative.

Winner: Edge over Christian via Escape!

Kurt Angle Promo

Shane had promised there was a defector in the WWF ranks, Vince had challenged Shane to a match on Raw which had both factions get involved, the brawl would end with Kurt Angle turning on the WWF and joining The Alliance. Kurt Angle lays everyone out with a chair with Shane picking up the victory.

Chavo Guerrero/Hugh Morrus look out Divas

The two WCW losers were meant to interview the Divas and they walk in on Trish with no shirt on, covering her assets with a towel. Trish tells the guys to go after Lita and comeback later. The two dweebs leave and everyone moves on after the comedy.

Scotty Too Hotty vs The Hurricane

Ah now this is the type of match you expect from UK shows, a match that would be right at home on Heat or Jakked or Metal. Lock up, Hurricane with the side headlock takeover, shoulder block by Hurricane and a fireman’s carry complete with a pose by Hurricane. Side headlock by Scotty, shoulder block by Scotty. Series of counters by both men until Hurricane nails a clothesline. Scotty fires back on Hurricane before Hurricane puts on the breaks and knees Scotty.

 Hurricane attempts tossing Scotty over the top rope, Scotty skins the cat and nails a headscissors takedown on Scotty. Scotty was looking for his signature facebuster but Hurricane saw it coming and laid out Scotty with a neckbreaker. Two count for Hurricane, vertical suplex and another cover, Hurricane gets a two count. Scotty fires back, Hurricane blocks with a boot, over castle by Hurricane and a jacknife cover for a two count. Hiptoss by Hurricane for two, right hands in the corner by Helms.

 Scotty is knocked to his knees and Hurricane applies a modified camel clutch, Scotty frees himself before eating a clothesline from Hurricane. Hurricane sees his cape and decides it is time to fly! Scotty right hands Hurricane, Scotty is looking for a superplex, Scotty is shoved off and Hurricane misses his crossbody. DDT by Scotty, Scotty blocks the right and delivers one of his own, reverse elbow and a superkick. Two count for Scotty, Hurricane blocks the suplex who knocks down Scotty.

 Hurricane sees his moment and attempts The Worm, Scotty gets back to his feet. Hurricane is thinking Chokeslam, Scotty fights out but Scotty does not see the superkick. Two count for Hurricane, Scotty misses a corner clothesline, Hurricane attempts a roll-up with feet on the ropes but Scotty kicks out of the pin attempt. Scotty blocks The Eye of The Hurricane, facebuster by Scotty and it is time for The Worm.

 Scotty picks up the win with The Worm. Like I said before, it is your standard Heat match, nothing special and nothing that would make you remember this in a day or two. Scotty picking up the win with The Worm makes me laugh a little two, I did not know Scotty could beat people with The Worm, I cannot recall a match finishing with the move but there you go, it happened on pay per view.

Winner: Scotty over Hurricane via Worm!

The Dweebs & Trish Part 2

Hugh Morrus and Chavo Guerrero return to our screens with Trish for their promised interview with Lita, Lita is shown in her signature thong and bra. The two morons cannot control themselves and Lita catches on to our two numbskulls and kicks out the two men. Morrus and Guerrero rejoice at seeing Lita in underwear and we all move on!

DDP vs The Big Show

After returning from injury or in storyline from Undertaker, DDP is no longer a stalker but a motivational speaker, a gimmick that would imitate real life as DDP now runs a successful yoga DVD company which has saved the lives of Jake The Snake Roberts and Scott Hall. Big Show on the other hand, has continued to be irrelevant and boring in his WWF run.

 Show takes one look at DDP and decides to knee DDP into oblivion. Show shoves away DDP who continues to kick the big man with little effect. DDP grabs a side headlock and Shows shrugs off The Master of The Diamond Cutter. Show military press slams DDP into the ring. DDP gets serious and chop blocks Show until he is the new Zach Gowen, DDP leaps off the top rope and nails a diving clothesline. DDP was looking for an Indian deathlock, Show chops out of the move and clotheslines poor DDP.

 DDP counters a Chokeslam with a kick to the gut and a Diamond Cutter. DDP drapes an arm over Show and gets a two count, Page pummels Show with right hands. DDP was looking to nail a running clothesline but runs right into a Chokeslam. Game, set and match. Another Heat level type of match, Show massacres DDP and by this stage, I am sure DDP would have wished he never ever step foot in the WWF.

Winner: Show over DDP via Chokeslam!

The Two Dweebs and Divas Part III/ Austin Promo

Morrus and Guerrero are outside another locker room composing themselves to see women of all sorts and they run into Mighty Molly who was fully clothed, Guerrero and Morrus are disappointed with the lack of assets and ass. Shane conducts a pep talk with Austin and Angle, Angle is back to being a goofy sidekick to Austin like he was before The Invasion. I miss serious Angle already, why did this have to happen? Angle rambles on about the knights of the round table while everyone rolls their eyes at Angle and his stupid jokes. Austin promises to beat Rock and hopes Angle beats Jericho or there will be trouble.

(WCW Tag Team Championship Elimination Match) The Dudley Boyz © vs APA vs The Hardy Boyz

Three teams vying for the tag team titles, Bubba makes it clear that he wants Matt and that The APA are secondary to this match, we shall see whether that is true when we found out the first elimination. Bubba does start with Matt, Bubba pounds on the smaller and faster Matt, Matt drops Bubba with deep arm drags and a neckbreaker. Bubba is double teamed by Bradshaw who blind tagged in, DDT on Matt by Bradshaw. Big boot by Bradshaw on Matt, Bradshaw cheap shots Jeff for good measure.

 Matt battles back on Bradshaw, tornado DDT by Matt for a two count. Tag to Jeff, double suplex by The Hardys, Jeff lowers his head on an Irish whip, big mistake as Bradshaw clubs Jeff into the canvas. Faarooq tags in, powerslam by Faarooq. Faarooq looks for The Dominator, Jeff slides out for a backslide, Faarooq blocks the backslide and flips over Jeff who nails a dropkick. D-Von blind tags into the match, neckbreaker on Faarooq. D-Von runs into a spinebuster and Bubba makes the save, shot to Bradshaw. Bradshaw saves Faarooq from the What’s Up headbutt.

 Fallaway Slam from the top rope by Bradshaw. The Hardys rush Bradshaw, Faarooq is alone in the ring. Bubba and D-Von nail a modified neckbreaker which looks like a reverse 3D. Bradshaw kills Bubba with a stiff Clothesline From Hell, Faarooq is left with Matt in the ring. Twist of Fate and Matt has eliminated The APA.

The APA have been eliminated!

Double suplex on Bubba by The Hardy Boyz, D-Von grabs the foot of Jeff to allow Bubba to regain control, Bubba asks D-Von for the table. Jeff baseball slides the table into D-Von’s face. Bubba nails a Bubba Bomb on Jeff for revenge, Bubba takes a shot out Matt. Tag to D-Von who stomps all over Jeff, right hands in the corner by D-Von. D-Von tosses Jeff to the floor and antagonizes Matt. Bubba works on Jeff on the floor before D-Von makes the cover for a two count. 

D-Von nails a powerslam and pulls Jeff to the corner, Bubba drops a series of elbows on Jeff. Bubba scores with a headbutt, Bubba was looking for some sort of manoeuvre from the top rope but Jeff counters with a hurricanrana. Cover and it is a two count, Matt is dying for the hot tag which he receives, neckbreaker to D-Von and DDT to Bubba. Leg drop by Matt on D-Von, Bubba makes the save. Poetry in Motion connects on Bubba, D-Von dodges the Poetry in Motion. 

D-Von dodges and Jeff attempts a Swanton Bomb, D-Von dodges and Bubba slides into the ring. Matt looks for a Twist of Fate but Bubba shoves off Matt for a 3D. Solid tag match from those involved, everyone took it easy and still managed to be entertaining. No title change which is expected on this UK pay per view.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz over Everyone Else via 3D!

Chris Jericho/Vince Promo

We are treated to footage from Smackdown where Test and Booker T beat The Rock and Chris Jericho for the tag team championships thanks to a mistimed dropkick from Jericho which nailed The Rock. Test pinning The Rock clean, what a time it was in the WWF. Anyways, Vince rallies the troops by asking The Rock and Jericho to be civil as the threat of The Alliance is much larger than their personal rivalry. The two shake hands before Jericho has one last sly remark to The Rock sarcastically wishing The Rock luck in his match. Rock jumps Jericho and the referees have to break the two men up as JR is disgusted with the two men.

William Regal vs Tajiri

Regal was The Alliance Commissioner after turning on the WWF when he cost Kurt Angle the WWF Championship against Stone Cold Steve Austin. Tajiri was Regal’s sidekick and now the two were going to get it on in the ring. Regal rags on the audience to get the cheap heat, Regal makes fun of David Beckham and Manchester United (As a United fan, I am ok with this despite modelling myself on David Beckham at this time). Lock up, Tajiri goes for a kick and Regal blocks, side headlock by Regal is countered by Tajiri.

 Regal uses a forearm to shove away Tajiri before Tajiri decides to practice his kicks on Regal’s face. Regal and Tajiri begin wrestling with Tajiri nailing a headscissors, kick to the ribs and a thrust kick. Tajiri nails a baseball slide before Tajiri is sent flying into the ringpost. In the ring, Tajiri reverses an Irish whip and scores with a back body drop. Regal asserts himself with an elbow to the face, running knee by Regal. Cover with a forearm to the face, crossface like hold by Regal. Tajiri battles back, Regal counters a crossbody and crotches Tajiri on the top rope.

 Regal stamps on Tajiri’s face and chokes The Japanese Buzzsaw with his boot. Knees to the face by Regal, Regal runs into a chop. Tajiri attempts a dropkick, Regal swats away the dropkick but Tajiri scores with a boot to the face and a missile dropkick. Handspring elbow by Tajiri, Tarantula by Tajiri. Tajiri misses a moonsault and Regal applies The Regal Stretch for the win. Solid match from these two, Tajiri continues to be exciting in the ring with his moments of offence while Regal is an effective heel through his offence and mannerisms. Good stuff albeit on the short side. Afterwards, Tajiri spits mist and kicks Regal’s head into row Z!

Winner: William Regal over Tajiri via Regal Stretch!

Kurt Angle Promo

Angle rips on the English people while also insulting Jericho for his childish nickname. Angle talks about yellow bellied cowards, that Jericho will be shitting himself against Angle and that Jericho is a jerk. Angle claims he will walk away with more than just his Olympic gold after this match, he will have the WCW Championship.

(WCW Championship Match) Chris Jericho © vs Kurt Angle

Newly-turned Kurt Angle against tweener Chris Jericho, these two tend to work well with one another so this should be the best wrestling match of the night due to their chemistry and the fact that Kurt Angle does not know what a bad match is, it is not in his vocabulary. Jericho locks up with Angle and immediately, pushes Angle into the corner, Jericho takes down Angle with Angel getting back on top in a matter of seconds. Chops by Y2J, elbow by Jericho. Fireman’s carry by Kurt, spinning heel kick by Jericho.

 Knees to the head by Y2J, Jericho nails a suplex and goes for a trifecta. Cover and a two count for Y2J, Angle nails a German suplex off an Irish whip and it is Angle time. Angle looks for an Angle Slam, Jericho sweeps the legs and goes for The Walls of Jericho, Angle frantically crawls to the ropes so Jericho releases the hold and scores with his springboard dropkick. Chops on the floor by Y2J, Kurt counters with a knee to the ribs and the two continue brawling on the floor. Jericho tosses Angle into the ring, crossbody off the top rope and it is a two count for the champion. Jericho goes to punch out Angle, Angle grabs the leg but Jericho counters The Ankle Lock.

 Jericho tosses Angle into the ringpost two times, Jericho scores with a shoulder breaker. Angle begs for mercy but Jericho continues the punishment, sunset flip by Angle and Jericho is looking for some sort of armbar. Angle rolls out but Jericho continues chopping the chest of Angle, Jericho blocks a belly to belly suplex but Jericho does not block the hotshot. Belly to belly suplex by Angle, Angle chops and punches Jericho in the corner. Jericho battles out of the corner, Angle catches Jericho for a Walls of Jericho. Jericho counters his own hold, Jericho blocks Angle with a boot in the corner but Angle catches Jericho for another belly to belly suplex.

 Short arm clothesline by the challenger, snap suplex by the challenger. A cover brings Kurt two and Kurt applies the sleeper, Y2J chants ring out through the arena. Jericho fights out of the sleeper but Angle is all over the leg of Jericho, right hands by Kurt. Kurt was looking for a knee to the ribs but Jericho counters for a roll-up. Two count for Jericho, Angle wipes out the champion with a clothesline, closed fists to the face by the challenger. Another sleeper by Angle, enzuigiri by Y2J to floor Angle.

 Jericho nails  a hard right hand, chops by the champion. Flying forearm and a shoulder block, neckbreaker. Hurricanrana for a two count, Y2J counters a German suplex into a victory roll into an Ankle Lock. Angle reaches the ropes, shot to the ribs by Angle, Jericho chops back, Angle blocks a suplex and nails a German suplex. Three Germans by Angle and cover for a two count.

 Angle applies The Ankle Lock, Jericho counters and locks in The Walls of Jericho. Angle makes it to the ropes, Angle bundles into Y2J. Modified bulldog by Y2J but Angle blocks the Lionsault. Angle looks for The Angle Slam but Jericho rolls down the back of Angle and scores the victory with a roll-up. Angle continues attacking Y2J after the match, Angle Slam by the loser of the match. Another Angle Slam and Angle leaves. Good match from these two, solid wrestling and lots of counters and submissions.

Winner: Chris Jericho over Kurt Angle via roll-up!

Rock Promo

Rock talks about what has been on his mind while also insulting Michael Cole and insinuating that Cole likes penis. Before Cole can answer, Rock tells Cole it does not matter if he likes penis while promising to beat Stone Cold for the WWF Championship. Rock’s promo blows the fans away and anything any superstar can produce on a good night.

Lita/Torrie Wilson vs Stacy/Mighty Molly (Trish Stratus = Special Guest Referee)

Trish is your referee but I would prefer her to be in the ring rather than Stacy or Torrie, this match might be ugly and I mean the wrestling because all involved look amazing. Torrie and Stacy are going to start, snapmare by Stacy. Both women do cartwheels before Torrie dropkicks Stacy. Side headlock by Stacy turns into a roll-up from Torrie.

 Lita is in the ring, scopp slam on Stacy, corner clothesline and a back suplex by Lita. Tag to Torrie, Molly cheap shots Torrie. Tag to Molly who elbows all over Torrie, Stacy is legal and Stacy stomps and chokes Torrie. Trish has Stacy distracted while Molly chokes Torrie, snap suplex by Molly on Torrie. Molly cheap shots Lita while Stacy and Molly double team Torrie. Torrie eats a backbreaker from Molly, Molly climbs to the top rope looking for the Molly go Round, Torries dodges and Lita gets the hot tag. 

Lita uses clothesline and headscissors to take down the Alliance members. Molly blocks The Poetry in Motion but Lita nails a Twist of Fate on Molly for the pinfall. Trish slaps Stacy and nails a bulldog. Yeah match was short and that is a good thing. Good break-up match between the serious title matches.

Winners: Lita & Torrie over Stacy & Molly via Twist of Fate!

(WWF Championship Match) Stone Cold Steve Austin © vs The Rock

This match has quite the backstory to it as it is the first one on one encounter on pay per view between The Rock and Stone Cold since Wrestlemania 17. Rock had returned for Summerslam but now it was November and these two still had not clashed for the championship. To be fair, I loved the series between Angle and Austin but this was the match we all wanted to see, The Rock aiming for revenge on the man who took him out at Wrestlemania Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 The promo package uses footage from Wrestlemania and the months leading up to their match which makes a great little package. Austin enters first and that annoys me as the champion should always enter last. Austin wastes no time in jumping The Rock, massive chops to The Rock. 

Rock counters Austin, right hands and chops by The Great One, clothesline by Rock. Rock drops Austin with a neckbreaker, Rock measures for an early Rock Bottom, Austin counters the Rock Bottom but is sent tumbling to the floor. Rock rams Austin’s head into the announce table and spits water in Austin’s face. Austin stops Rock’s momentum with a knee to the ribs, Rock is sent into the barricade and announce table. 

Rock and Austin trade blows on the floor, Rock knocks down Austin onto Paul Heyman at the announce table. Rock clotheslines Austin out to the floor, both men work their way up the ramp. Chops by The Rock, Rock suplexes Austin onto the steel at the top of the entrance wat, Rock counters a piledriver and drops Austin onto the steel a second time with a back body drop.

 Austin whips Rock into the ring apron but Rock fires back with a clothesline. Austin counters Rock and catapults the challenger into the ringpost. Scoop slam on the floor by Austin, Austin has Rock in the ring and stomps all over the challenger. Austin chokes Rock using the ropes, Austin drills Rock with a clothesline while saluting every fan in attendance. Rock goes for the school boy but Austin kicks out, clothesline and vicious right hands by Austin.

 Austin has Rock on the announce table, Austin is looking for the piledriver, Rock nails the low blow for the counter. Despite the low blow, Rock is dropped across the announce table, Austin chokes Rock with the camera cable. Austin drops Rock ribs first onto the announce table with a suplex, Rock clutches the knee. Rock rolls into the ring but Austin continues to stomp The Rock. Austin and the referee have words which allows Rock to fire up but Austin knocks down Rock with a Lou Thesz Press and nails an elbow drop.

 Cover and a two count for Austin, chop-block by Austin. Rock scores with a Lou Thesz Presss on Austin and an elbow drop for good measure, cover and a two count. Rock is caught in the sleeper, Rock fights out but finds himself on the receiving end of a spinebuster. Austin locks in a Boston crab on The Rock, Austin continues to drag The Rock closer to the centre of the ring. Austin stomps all over The Rock while threatening the referee, Rock finds it within himself to fight back, double clothesline in the middle of the ring.

 Both men begin a slugfest, Rock has control, leaping clothesline and an overhead belly to belly suplex for a two count. Referee bump as Rock accidently clotheslines Earl Hebnar, Stunner is blocked and Rock nails a spinebuster and a sharpshooter. Austin drops Rock and locks in a sharpshooter. Rock uses his leg strength to counter the hold and use it on Austin. Angle rushes to the ring and nails Rock in the back, Jericho uses a chair to wipe out Angle. Rock is on his feet and sees Jericho with the chair and no Angle, Rock clotheslines Jericho to the floor. Rock Bottom on Austin but still no referee, Angle attacks The Rock.

 Rock knocks down Angle but Austin has The Rock, spinebuster and it is People’s Elbow time! Angle trips up Rock and nails The Rock with the title belt and Austin nails The Stunner to retain the championship. We have our second good match of the night but can you be surprised when you have Austin and The Rock in the ring together? They had fun, they kicked ass and you even had some further story-telling with Rock and Jericho continuing to not get along which led to the finish.

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin over The Rock via title belt and Stunner!

So that was WWF’s Rebellion of 2001 and it was a fun show. Not a lot of long matches and from a quality standpoint, it is not worth tuning into but the UK fans were loud, they don’t often get to see the WWF wrestlers and they all seemed to have a great time. With the two heavyweight championship matches, you got some good wrestling and the rest of the matches were fast, short and enjoyable. There is really not much else I can say about this show so I think I am going to leave at this: An enjoyable show that would have made the fans happy but if you missed it, you were not missing anything. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you had fun reading my recap of Rebellion and I’d love to see you again next time. Until then, take care and enjoy Survivor Series.

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