Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling reviews series on the internet that won’t go away like Rob Feinstein! It’s Road to Wrestlemania time with WWF In Your House: No Way Out! The big matches of the night include an 8-Man Tag with a mystery partner taking the place of the WWF Champion Shawn Michaels as DX battle a team led by Stone Cold Steve Austin! We also have Vader taking on Kane as well as Shamrock continuing his feud against The Nation of Domination. Nothing screaming important about this PPV it really is more of a pitstop before we have Wrestlemania.
Marc Mero & Marilyn Mandust W/ Sable vs The Headbangers
See what I mean? This screams RAW opening match, this match has come about as Thrasher was able to beat Goldust thanks to an assist from Sable who was the most popular person in the ring but she has been sent back so we have to suffer through the match without people salivating over Sable. Mero and Mosh to start, Mero looks for the jab. Mosh is tentative, Mero goes low and starts working the ribs. Mosh is rocked in the corner, elbow to the face takes down Mosh. Elbow drops and more punches from Mero, Mosh is sent to the buckle and dodges the elbow. Whip to the buckle, hip splash and clothesline to the floor. The heels regroup on the floor, Mosh takes the arm and tags in Thrasher. Diving clothesline from Thrasher, Mero goes to the eyes and tags in Goldust.
Drop toehold from Thrasher, Thrasher kicks and clotheslines Goldust. Tag to Mosh who lands a diving axe handle. Back body-drop from Mosh, scoop slam and assisted gourdbuster as Mero kicks Mosh in the back of the head. Thrasher clubs Goldust on the floor behind the referee’s back, Goldust eats a dropkick as Mosh tags in Thrasher. Measured clubbing blows, Mero blind-tags in and lands his knee-lift. Elbow drop connects for two, Sable chants ring-out which is great if you are a Headbanger. Thrasher has a headlock and something goes wrong, we are stuck for a bit before Thrasher lands two shoulder blocks before Goldust low-bridges Thrasher. Goldust and Luna assault Thrasher on the floor, Thrasher is bleeding from his head. Suplex onto the top rope from Mero, tag to Goldust. Flying clothesline from Goldust and measured knee drop for two. Measured right hands, tag to Mero who jabs the shit out of Thrasher. Snap-mare into a reverse chin-lock, Thrasher fights back but Mero maintains control.
Stomps from Mero, Irish whip and uppercut from Mero. Tag to Goldust who covers for two, mounted punches from Goldust. Flying crossbody from Thrasher for two but Goldust is the fresher man and he tags in Mero. Snap-mare and Mero grabs his wrist-tape and chokes out Thrasher. Powerbomb from Mero for two, the TKO is countered into a DDT. We have the hot-tag, Mosh elbows down and punches both men, massive right hands. Double flapjack from Headbangers, Mero makes the save for the pin-fall. Luna trips up Thrasher to stop the Stage Dive, Goldust tags in Mero who punches Mosh. TKO connects on Mosh but Sable is here and she is going straight for Luna due to Luna’s cheating ways. The Headbangers do the old switch-a-roo and Mero gets rolled up by Thrasher for the win.
As good as it could have been if you can believe it, it’s shocking to see Goldust go from a great worker as The Natural to one of the most boring individuals in the WWF before the last 6 years where he has regained his fire and delivered that iconic performance in his match with his brother Cody. However, the fans care about Luna vs Sable, as much as I am shocked by it the fans clearly care which is hilarious considering the way Sable sounds, sounds like a horrible cat. Anyways the match serves to further the feud of Sable vs Mero, I would say I am sad that The Headbangers are being used as a side-plot but then I would be lying. So surprisingly, this was passable.
Winners: The Headbangers over Marc Mero & Goldust via Small Package!
(WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match) Taka Michinoku © vs Pantera
Couldn’t they have found a better position in the company for Sunny? She’s so good on the mic and yet, she is doing announcing for Light Heavyweight Championship matches and refereeing mini-matches but thanks God, I don’t have to watch one of those on this PPV. So, Pantera pinned Taka with a diving headbutt using a foreign object, the challenger is dressed fantastically I might add, Mexican wrestlers and their outfits are top notch. Brian Christopher is here.
Pantera and Taka trade chops and a dropkick before Pantera lands an arm-drag and a tope con hilo to the floor. Pantera lands a beautiful arm-drag, headscissors from Pantera. Taka dodges Pantera before Taka springboard splashes Pantera before landing a forearm. Corner forearm from Taka, snap-mare into a dropkick. Low dropkick to the face, Pantera is on the apron. Taka slaps Pantera hard in the face, Taka misses a corner forearm. Diving headscissors off the apron, tope suicida into the guardrail. Pantera is flying now, knees to the spine from Pantera. Back-breaker into a camel clutch, kick to the spine from Pantera. Romero special from Pantera, Taka fights back with chops and kicks. Big forearm before Pantera back-drops Taka to the floor. Baseball slide to the back of the head, tope con hilo from Pantera to the downed Taka.
Stretch from Pantera, two for Pantera. Back-breaker from Pantera who climbs high, diving elbow drop to the spine. Tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, Taka is on the apron. Taka slaps Pantera, Pantera cuts off Taka on the top rope. Frankensteiner from the top, big slam and Pantera stands on Taka before nailing a beautiful moonsault for two. Moonsault misses, diving knee drop from Taka. Pantera counters the driver for a small package for two, la magistral for two. Hurricanrana is countered by Taka for a powerbomb for two, missile dropkick into the head. Michinoku Driver for the win!
Not a bad match but unfortunately, the fans don’t care. I will say though that Brian Christopher and Jerry Lawler are fantastic together on commentary, I am always impressed with how much Brian sounds like his dad, it’s unbelievable but very entertaining commentary from father and son. Yeah Taka and Pantera work hard but nobody really cares so what else can I say really? The Michinoku Driver is a beautiful finish and I will never get tired of seeing it!
Winner: Taka Michinoku over Pantera via Michinoku Driver!
Quebecers vs The Godwinns
Babyface Godwinns is some of my worst memories of New Generation WWF, they bore me and were dead in the water once they lost to The Smoking Gunns for the billionth time. They have soundly been beaten by everyone in the meantime bar The Headbangers so I have no interest in seeing them in the slightest. The Quebecers have not been seen in about 4 years and I am not sure what Jacques is thinking with the attire but it looks rough and it seems he has hit his mid-life crisis phase. Phineas and Jacques brawl before Pierre and Henry come in, twisting one another’s arms. Elbow by Pierre, imagine watching two bears trading wrist-locks? Yeah, they do that for a minute or two before Henry works the arm. Why can’t they just play to their strengths? Drop toe-hold by Pierre, tag team stomps in the corner.
Henry clotheslines both Quebecers down, Phineas works the arm and lands a spine-buster, leg-drop for two. Jacques meets the boot of Henry, this is so confusing. The Godwinns are battering Jacques like the heels, Jacques’ massive bald-spot is distracting me also from calling this terrible match. Forgive me, sunset-flip from Jacques for two but Phineas kicks Jacques in the head and tags in Henry. Reverse chin-lock from Henry, how are we working this with The Quebecers as the babyfaces? Jacques is headbutted in the groin, Phineas clubs down Jacques. Jacques boots Phineas, spinning elbow from Jacques. Tag to Pierre, massive clothesline and leg drop. Powerslam, double stun-gun from The Quebecers. Piledriver from Jacques, premature celebration before a massive tag finish as Henry saves the day. Jacques dives onto Henry on the floor, Henry clotheslines Pierre who was going for an O’Connor roll and Phineas wins.
So you haven’t fully turned The Godwinns? Or The Godwinns are dipshits and decided to work heel because why the fuck not? What a waste of a match, I thought the crowd was quiet for the light heavyweight championship match but no, this match put that match to shame. Heel vs Heel is always a great idea (Not!)
Winners: The Godwinns over The Quebecers via Clothesline!
(NWA’s North American Championship Match) Jeff Jarrett © W/ Jim Cornette/Rock N Roll Express/Barry Windham vs Blackjack Bradshaw
Talking about two parts of the Rumble that actually mattered, Bradshaw had a solid showing beating the piss out of many wrestlers in the ring and Jarrett evoking one of the biggest reactions of the night by being dumped out by Owen Hart! Heel Rock N Roll Express is quite the statement but yes this angle was considered a flop of epic proportions but bless them, they were trying at the start. Bradshaw starts clubbing Jarrett on the floor, the champion is on the defensive early. Jarrett is whipped with leather chaps, Jarrett is booted in the corner. Jarrett uses Cornette to get the jump on Bradshaw, Jarrett continues to use his quickness to bamboozle Bradshaw. Missile dropkick from Jarrett, Cornette chokes Bradshaw behind the referee’s back. Bradshaw almost steals it with a small package, Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Bradshaw punches the champion.
Chops in the corner, Jarrett boots Bradshaw coming out of the corner. Knee across the ropes misses but Cornette waffles Bradshaw in the hamstring with his racket. The referee accuses Cornette but nothing comes of it, Jarrett begins working the leg. Elbows and knees to the leg, all working towards the figure four. Bradshaw kicks off Double J, DDT from Jarrett after dodging a clothesline. Jarrett climbs high, Bradshaw crotches Jarrett on the top rope. Superplex is blocked, Jarrett tries the diving crossbody but Bradshaw catches Double J and lands his fallaway slam.
Both men start slugging it out, Bradshaw winning that war. Boot to the ribs and a powerbomb from Bradshaw, Cornette is on the apron and pulled into the ring. Cornette and Jarrett collide but Double J has the racket, Double J hits Bradshaw and is DQ-ed before Bradshaw gets up and takes out everyone with the racket before looking at a stumbling Cornette. Scoop slam on Cornette, Barry Windham trips up Bradshaw and The NWA boys batter Bradshaw. Windham nails his big clothesline before LOD come down to the ring and clear house. Still over btw!
Well that was average at best, hoped for a little more considering how much I love mid-card Double J and Cornette but it never kicks into that second gear, it’s just a match that goes on and on. This feud will continue though so we shall see how things continue from here!
Winner: Bradshaw over Jeff Jarrett via DQ!
The Nation of Domination vs Ken Shamrock/Ahmed Johnson/DOA
The feud of Ken Shamrock vs The Rock continues with a little bit of extra garnish as we have… D.O.A and Ahmed Johnson (He is still there?) teaming with The World’s Most Dangerous Man. Skull and D’Lo to start, Skull nails a massive right hand before D’Lo goes to the eyes and lands a few rights. Skull whips D’Lo to the corner and delivers a clothesline and ten punches before D’Lo lands an inverted atomic drop and a calf kick. D’Lo ducks his head off an Irish whip before Skull lands a neck-breaker. Here comes Shamrock, spinning reverse elbow and massive right from Shamrock. Japanese arm-drag before D’Lo tags in Kama Mustafa, Shamrock tags in Chainz. Brawling time, rights and lefts from Kama. Chainz nails a massive boot and scoop slam, quick elbows from Chainz. Eye-rake and in comes Mark Henry, Henry wants Ahmed Johnson. Ask and you shall receive, brawling before Henry goes to the eyes and clubs Ahmed down. Clothesline from Henry, eye-rake from Ahmed and a scoop slam from Ahmed. D’Lo comes in and attacks Ahmed, Ahmed blocks the suplex and drops D’Lo with a sit-out gourdbuster. D’Lo rolls to the corner and lands his Lo Down on Ahmed’s ribs, Faarooq comes in and starts slapping the shit out of Ahmed. Shoulder block from Faarooq, Ahmed lands a spinebuster on Faarooq. That explosive energy is still there, Rock saves Faarooq from the plunge. 8-Ball is in, powerslam from 8-Ball for two. Shamrock lands a spinning elbow on Faarooq, headbutt from Faarooq and in comes Rock. DDT on Shamrock for two, Kama comes in after stomps from Rock. Hard whip to the buckle but Shamock dodges, tag to Skull who tags in 8-Ball and they double chop Kama. More tags and Kama rocks 8-Ball, side-kick from Kama for two.
The tide turns briefly before D’Lo elbows 8-Ball hard, D’Lo lands an elbow off the middle rope for two. In comes Rock who lands a big right hand, scoop slam and The People’s Elbow for one. In comes Faarooq, Faarooq lowers his head too early and 8-Ball drives Faarooq into the mat. Rock comes in, flying clothesline from 8-Ball, Rock punches 8-Ball on the groin behind the referee’s back. Henry comes in, big clothesline on 8-Ball and we have another tag to Kama who lands a scoop slam and elbow drop for two. D’Lo misses a moonsault which gives 8-Ball a chance to tag, Shamrock gets the tag and the match breaks down with everyone filling the ring. Shamrock catches Rock with a belly to belly suplex, arm-bar into The Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring for the win.
Fuck me, you made me sit through an 8-Ball face in peril segment which dragged on for eternity to give me a hot-tag that lasted less than 20 seconds, what a waste of Shamrock and Ahmed who is still over despite his descent down the card, I am in utter shock but then again, this night has been utter garbage so this would be nothing new from the standard that had been set, a waste of a lot of talented individuals and a lot of untalented individuals. The biggest thing to come out of this was Faarooq and Rock’s continued war of words, these two men will brawl soon enough and The Nation will fall apart!
Winners: Team Shamrock over The Nation via Ankle Lock!
Vader vs Kane
Having watched Vader’s run from Rumble 1996 to this point, there were more high points that people would like to mention, it was ultimately a disappoint for someone who was as successful as Vader but it was not all doom and gloom, wins over HBK and Taker on PPV plus a fun run as a babyface battering The Heel Hart Foundation and Goldust are up there for me, I know Vader continues with the company beyond this PPV but I won’t be seeing him after this as once we wrap up Wrestlemani XIV, I am going to WCW as I have covered The Attitude Era extensively.
This match starts with the two big behemoths clubbing one another, big right hands by both. Uppercuts by Kane, Vader meets the steel steps. Headbutt by Kane, apron clothesline to the throat by The Big Red Machine. Diving clothesline from Kane, throat attacks and boots from Kane. Vader is on the backfoot, choke in the corner. Kane continues choking Vader, headbutts and clubbing blows. Another clothesline like blow from Kane, Paul Bearer shouts instructions from ring-side. Corner clothesline and throat attacks from Kane, Vader starts jabbing back at Kane before Kane knees down Vader. Vader clubs Kane and clotheslines Kane to the floor, DDT from Kane. Vader once again throws haymakers to take down Kane, Vader splash in the corner but Kane wants a chokeslam. Vader goes low and kicks Kane in the nether regions, short-arm clothesline.
Splash from Vader, Vader-Bomb incoming for The Big Red Machine. Nah, Vader goes even harder and lands his Vadersault, Kane sits-up though and Vader is in shock. Another clubbing blow, Kane is on his feet and uppercuts as both men brawl at ringside. Vader meets the steel steps hard, Vader sprays the fire extinguisher in the eyes of Kane, Powerbomb from Vader and Paul Bearer is on the apron. Down goes Bearer but Kane sits-up, Chokeslam from Kane and a Tombstone Piledriver for good measure.
Not terrible, big fan of both men and I thought oh no as Kane continued to dish out rather ineffective and uninteresting attacks but things picked up once we hit that moonsault. I liked Vader being Vader, shocker I know but lots of fun during this match. Would have benefited from being a shorter match but probably my favourite match of the night so far and believe me, that is saying a lot about this desperate card.
Winner: Kane over Vader via Tombstone Piledriver!
Stone Cold Steve Austin/Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie/Owen Hart vs D-Generation X/Mystery Partner
If HBK was available for this match, I have no doubts that it would be off the charts considering the run that Michaels has been on but we will have to deal with a mystery partner for DX. Who will it be? Who will fill the shoes of HBK? Who will try and ultimately fail?
Austin is on a collision course with HBK for the WWF Championship since winning The Royal Rumble while Owen Hart has all the reasons in the world to go after Shawn Michaels after what happened with The Hart Foundation, Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack want to kill The New Age Outlaws because the tag team champions threw Cactus & Chainsaw off the Raw stage in a dumpster. The mystery partner is Savio Vega of The Boricuas, a disappointment for sure and considering my feelings for Vega which I have expressed every time I have seen him in the ring, I am crushed by this announcement. This match wastes no time getting hardcore with weapons being thrown into the ring before we have The Rattlesnake. The crowd explodes as the glass shatters, here comes Austin.
Austin decks Billy Gunn to start, perfect start with a Lou Thesz Press from Austin, elbows to the face of Billy. Inverted atomic drop and a trash can shot to the head, Billy Gunn avoids the stunner but Road Dogg and Helmsley eat the trash can lid. Helmsley is sent to the buckle and eats a clothesline for two, Helmsley powders to get away from Austin. Mop to the ribs and Austin chokes Helmsley with the mop, Cactus and Road Dogg are in the ring, trash can to the head of Road Dogg. We have brawling everywhere in the arena, Billy Gunn is sent through the table while Austin brawls with Vega, Sharpshooter on Billy but Helmsley makes the save, Chainsaw wallops Billy with the chair, Road Dogg cracks Chainsaw with the trash can. Austin is battered on the floor, Helmsley powerbombs Owen. It’s a train-wreck for sure, will order be restored at any point? Vega and Chainsaw are in the ring, Helmsley saves Vega. Weapon shots galore, DDT on the trash can lid with Owen making the save.
Enzuigiri from Owen on Helmsley, Owen Hart applies The Sharpshooter on Helmsley but Road Dogg makes the save. Austin and Vega are brawling in the corner, Road Dogg low-blows Chainsaw. Powerbomb onto the two chairs, we have a tag-match format now with Billy piledriving Chainsaw on a trash can lid. Cactus makes the save, tag to Helmsley. Chainsaw is battered by Helmsley, Vega comes in and lands haymakers on Chainsaw. Road Dogg back-drops Chainsaw onto a trash-can lid, Cactus continues to save his partner. Austin hurls a trash can at the face of Billy Gunn, wiping him out but Chainsaw cannot make the tag. Helmsley lands an inverted atomic drop, Vega is in now. Front chancery from Vega, referee misses the tag for Owen. The heels continue battering Chainsaw, chair-shot to the head.
Road Dogg and Chainsaw bang heads, in comes Cactus who nails everyone with right hands. Road Dogg is battered into the corner, piece of table in front of Road Dogg and Billy is whipped into Road Dogg. Double Arm DDT on Billy for two, Vega makes the save but Owen lands a missile dropkick. Cactua has the mandible claw on both Outlaws before Helmsley lands a low-blow. Crowd chants for Austin, Cactus Jack clothesline on Billy, Road Dogg distracts Cactus which allows Billy to nail the DDT. Snap suplex for two, Vega wraps Cactus in barbed wire. Vega chokes Cactus with the barbed wire, a great visial that looks painful as fuck. Helmsley cracks Cactus with a chair, Vega follows this plan as does Road Dogg.
Billy cracks Road Dogg by accident with the chair, Cactus pulls out the barbed wire and makes the mammoth hot-tag that we all want, Austin comes in and drills everyone with right hands. Noggin-knockers for everyone, stomps for Helmsley. Stunner on Road Dogg and this match is over, Stunner on Billy Gunn for good measure with Helmsley being bounced off the announce table, Chyna who has done nothing for the match decides it is time to make her mark with Austin reluctant to stun The Ninth Wonder of The World but Austin is pushed to his limits and Stunners Chyna!
The only match worth watching on this awful PPV by a country mile, I have the same issue with it as the Shamrock match. You made me wait for so long, could you not have given me just a little more struggle? Austin wiped the floor with everyone immediately but I wanted a little more drama, is that wrong of me? We also saw little of Owen Hart in here which sucks because we had three feuds going in here with the tag team feud, Austin vs HBK and Owen vs HHH being the other so to not see The Black Hart in there mixing it up with Helmsley was a disappointment for sure. However, the crowd came alive and the chaotic opening with both teams brawling with weapons was exciting and what the crowd wanted, finish was hot and the aftermath was the icing on the cake for those in attendance but I was left wanting more, kudos for doing at least one thing right on this night.
Winners: Team Austin over Team HHH via Stunner!
That was WWF’s In Your House: No Way Out, arguably the coldest PPV on the road to Wrestlemania, there were two matches I cared for on this card when announced and looking through what I suffered through, I want my two hours and a half back and I would want my money back if I attended, most of this matches would be right at home on RAW, I can’t see why anyone would want to spend their money on what I saw on this card. The fans felt the same way, the big moments of the night revolved around brief glimpses of fun. The opening match was used as a vehicle for Sable who is popular due to how she looks, the light heavyweight match tried but was never going to get over with this crowd. Quebecers vs Godwinns had an identity crisis, garbage match with no babyfaces. Jarrett vs Bradshaw tried but never left second gear while the tag match between Team Shamrock and The Nation was rather dull with an explosive ending that could have been better had everything before it mattered. Vader vs Kane was solid towards the end, they worked hard and I appreciate that while the main event is the only reason to check out the show and even at that, the match just ends the second Austin gets in so no drama, no hook, just boom and done. Not a big fan of this PPV but it’s Wrestlemania XIV time so come back next time for the dawning of The Austin Era! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!