Sunday 14 November 2021

NWA Starrcade 1984 Review!


Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that still wonders if Hogan is the third man! It’s NWA Starrcade 1984 headlined by The Million Dollar Challenge as The Nature Boy Ric Flair defends his NWA World Heavyweight Championship against none other than Dusty Rhodes, we have a number of matches on the card featuring various talent but let’s see if the grudge matches on this card live up to the previous year’s edition. Let’s get it on!


(NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship Match) Mike Davis © vs Denny Brown


Referee Earl Hebnar checks both competitors, side headlock and shoulder block from Davis, Brown counters with a hip-toss and a headscissors. Arm-drag into an arm-bar, Brown continues out-wrestling Davis with superb arm-work. Davis breaks free, sending Brown to the floor. Brown is in a bad way, Davis helps Brown into the ring, nice piece of showmanship. Brown manages to land a massive forearm to get back into this match, Davis catches Brown for a small package. Two for Davis, Davis goes to work with forearms. Whip to the corner, Brown leaps to the middle rope and lands a diving forearm. Back body drop with Brown showing some fire, dropkick for two. Irish whip and drop-down spot ends with both men banging heads, forearms from Brown. Uppercuts but Davis sends Brown to the buckle and with a beautiful belly to back suplex, this match is over but wait we have a new champion because Denny Brown is the champion as Brown was able to raise his shoulder off the suplex.


Seems like this championship means nothing here and then, I guess it is all summed up with the finish as the ring announcer completely messes up the winner, it was very vanilla to be fair. Never heard much about either man so I am having a few flashbacks to the previous year, looks like I am going to be gorging myself on a whole load of nothing to kick us off.


Winner: Denny Brown over Mike Davis via Belly To Back Suplex!


Mr. Ito vs Brian Adidis


How kind to refer to him as Mr. Ito, motherfucker does not even have a first name but the fans loves Brian Adidis, Brian and Ito are trading holds to kick us off, Ito and Adias trade the advantage on more than one occasion. Leapfrogs and a dropkick, side headlock from Adidis. Ito counters and works the arm, down goes Adidis. Adidis goes to the ropes, Ito holds onto the arm. Karate chop to the arm, Adidis reverses and works the arm with his knees and a short leg-drop. Ito goes for a scoop slam but Adidis rolls through, Ito goes to the ribs and chops Adidis in the face. They are brawling, Adidis is winning that war. Adidis spins around for the airplane spin and this is over. Well brief and a couldn’t give a shite about these two, let’s move on!


Winner: Brian Adidis over Mr. Ito via Airplane Spin!


(NWA Florida Heavyweight Championship Match) Mike Graham vs Jesse Barr


Nepotism, thy name is Mike Graham. Never drew a dime man who looks like a grandad against the champion Barr. Mat-work to kick us off, credit to Graham who can work as far as promoter’s sons go, Graham has an Indian Death-lock but Barr grabs the throat and slaps on a rear chin-lock. Graham tries to wriggle free, Graham drops down but Barr uses the hair to regain control. Graham almost breaks free but Barr uses the hair again to break the hold.  Elbow escape and shoulder block from Graham, arm-drag for two but Barr pulls the hair to get back into control. Key-lock from Barr, Graham is starting to get frustrated with Barr’s continued cheating tactics. To the corner, Barr drives in the knees and forearms. Barr uses the ropes to wrench the arm, again and again.


Irish whip but Graham reverses, drop toehold and Graham says he is going to break his leg. Graham works the leg again and again, Barr slips out of the figure four. Barr is in the corner, Barr wants a test of strength. Graham is cautious, rightly so with Graham wanting to have the match back in the middle of the ring. Barr has the strength advantage in the tie-up, Graham rallies but Barr uses the ropes for leverage with Earl Hebnar unable to see the cheating ways of Barr. Barr goes low with boots to maintain control before Graham lands a headbutt and we have a fireman’s carry into the arm-bar. Right hand from Graham into the figure four but Barr scrambles to the ropes.


Tentative lock-up, Barr and Graham lock-up. Side headlock from Barr, Graham counters the side headlock into a roll-up for two. Twice Graham almost escapes but Barr holds onto the hair before Graham drops Barr with a shin-breaker, more knee-wrenching from the challenger. Repeated knees into Barr’s legs, Figure Four and Barr reaches the ropes. Knee by Barr, Graham lands a sunset flip for two, Graham almost pins Barr off a small package but the referee was down. O’Connor roll for two, Barr reverses and holds the tights for two! Graham is taken down with a double leg near the corner, Barr uses the ropes for leverage and pins Graham.


Barr seems a bit vanilla for my liking, Graham works hard and knows what he is doing inside of that ring but Barr seems a little out of his depth, the last minute or so is quite exciting and the heel cheats his way to victory, solid performance and the first watchable match of the night, good stuff.


Winner: Jesse Barr over Mike Graham via Roll-Up with Leverage!


Zambuie Express W/ Paul Jones vs Assassin 1 & Buzz Tyler


A lot of meat in this one and it’s a tag team elimination match, Assassin 1 fails to get a Weasel chant going for Paul Jones, sign of things to come? Bit of brawling and the babyfaces are winning that war, Buzz Tyler outfoxes Kareem who gets decked by The Avalanche. Assassin 1 vs Elijah, Elijah clubs Assassin 1 before Assassin 1 sends Elijah to the corner, the babyfaces pummel Elijah. Kareem and Buzz Tyler are now legal, Kareem pummels Buzz. Buzz eats a headbutt from Elijah, Buzz fires back at Elijah. Everyone is in the ring, can’t this end? Buzz and Elijah are eliminated I believe, they have been counted-out. Assassin 1 and Kareem collide, Buzz pushes Assassin 1 on top of Kareem and this is over? What a load of shite!


Winners: Assassin 1 & Buzz Tyler over The Zumbuie Express via Splash!


(Brass Knuckles Championship Match) Raging Bull Manny Fernandez  vs Black Bart © W/ JJ Dillon


We going to get a little hardcore? FMW be damned as Black Bart takes on Manny Fernandez, lock-up with Manny getting the better of Black Bart. Manny works the ribs with big right hands, Manny continues to jab and chop Black Bart. It is all Manny for now, lock-up with a knee from Black Bart. Shot to the head, Manny fires back with more punches. This really is just punches, Bart and Manny just keep punching each other, punches to the head and punches to the gut. Bart makes a great punching noise though, Manny has decided to blade to make things more interesting. Would be great if I felt there was more to this, Bart bites the head of Manny but Manny comes back with more punches and chops.


Manny is firing up, right hands to the head. Bart is dumped to the floor, axe handle off the apron. Bart is in serious trouble, Dillon motivates Bart to get back into the ring. Irish whip and right hand from Manny, another massive right hand from Manny. Low blow from Bart, anything goes so no surprise right there. Bart is a bloody mess, more right hands. Bart shoves the referee and has his rope but Manny catches Bart with an O’Connor roll for the win.


Punch and punch and punch and punch, rinse and repeat. Fair play to the fans being interested in it because I certainly didn’t care when it was over, nothing to it when all was said and done.


Winner: Manny Fernandez over Black Bart via O’Connor Roll!


(Loser Leaves Town Tuxedo Street Fight Match) Paul Jones vs Jimmy Valiant


Jimmy Valiant is ridiculously over, has been since the dawn of time it almost seems like. Paul Jones is a hated manager who is going to take a whooping in this match but I have a sneaky feeling that Paul Jones might have something up his sleeve. Valiant chokes and rips at Jones to start, Jones is doing his best anyways. Valiant starts throwing some of the funkiest looking punches I have ever seen, Valiant shoves something down the throat of Jones. Jones is being picked apart, this is very much one-sided. Jones has been stripped, is this not over? Must it end by pin-fall or submission. Jones lands a knee to the back and knees to the heads of Valiant but Valiant is firing up.


More funky-ass punches, sleeper from Valiant. Jones has bladed for this, for Christ sake, the Tuxedo match has blading in it. Incredible, the commitment to the Street Fight aspect. Valiant decks the referee trying to hit Kareem or Elijah of the express, JJ Dillon clocks Valiant with some sort of object. 1….2…3! Paul Jones wins! Brief yet successful!


Winner: Paul Jones over Jimmy Valiant via Foreign Object To The Head!


(Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship Match) Ron Bass © W/ JJ Dillon vs Dick Slater


Bass along with Black Bart had taken down Steamboat and Slater in a brutal assault, JJ Dillon is in the corner of the champion while Dick Slater looks for revenge. Slater begins chopping back and knocks down Bass, Slater chases Dillon before Bass covers the behind of his manager. Slater is whipped off the ropes and ducks a chop, escaping Bass and chasing after Dillon. Slater is over like rover, reminds me of Terry Funk a lot at the moment. Slater chops Bass and has a side headlock takedown with Bass trying to roll over the challenger, Bass grabs the hair but Slater has good control. Bass escapes and lands an elbow but misses the elbow drop, headbutt and side headlock takedown from Slater. Bass rakes the eyes but Slater nails an atomic drop, Slater scares Dillon once more.


Slater headbutts Bass who was trying to re-enter the ring, snap-mare into the ring and Bass manages to rake the eyes and land a knee-lift. To the buckle, Slater is bounced off the buckle repeatedly. Bass batters Slater who is in the ropes, Dillon cracks Slater behind the referee’s back. Suplex for two, Bass is in control now. Running bulldog out of the corner, Slater is brawling back though with shots to the ribs and a massive jab with a roundhouse right. Snap-mare and Slater rubs his foot across the face of Bass, Bass goes to the eyes and dumps Slater to the floor. JJ Dillon gets in a few boots behind the referee’s back, Slater is battered in the corner with mean rights from Bass. Slater is shaking them off though, Bass runs into the corner and Slater tees off with right hands. The referee is flung to the ground, back suplex from Slater but the referee is down.


Dillon comes in and boots Slater, no effect on Slater who lands a scoop slam and a right. Scoop slam for Bass and a leg drop but the referee declares that Bass is the winner as Slater threw the referee to the floor, Slater’s temper cost him the match.


Decent match, could have been more if Slater and Bass give us just a little more action but Slater gets his heat back at the end beating the two heels but I would have liked to seen a lot more from these two in this match, had the makings of something fun but just did not click into that next gear.


Winner: Cowboy Ron Bass over Dick Slater via DQ!


Ole Anderson & Keith Larson W/ Don Kernodle vs The Koloffs (Nikita & Ivan Koloff)


Don Kernodle & Ivan were tag team champions earlier in the year before Nikita came in and it was time for Don to bite the dust. Communism is ret hot as a topical issue so you know this one will have lots of fans invested in this one. Nikita looks like a God damn star next to Ivan, always strange to see babyface Ole Anderson but it can be done as evident in the infamous angle with Dusty Rhodes in 1980. Our babyfaces rush The Koloffs, it’s brawling times boys. Ivan is knocked down by Larson who tees off, back body drop and a right hand from Larson. Two for Larson, fists of fury from Larson. Dropkick from Larson, Ivan is battered by both babyfaces, tag to Anderson.


Anderson works the arm, over and over before Larson nails an axe handle to the arm. Elbows too, Larson and Anderson exchange quick tags with Ivan in serious trouble, arm-wringer and a short-arms scissors for Anderson. Tag to Larson, knee-drop to the arm. Arm-bar from Larson, Ivan is reaching for the tag but Larson maintains control. Another tag to Anderson who wants and delivers a hammerlock scoop slam. Anderson stomps the arm over and over, right hands to the face. Tag to Larson, elbow drops to the arm. Anderson and Larson continuing working the shit out of the arm of Ivan. Ivan grabs the hair but the hip-toss is from Larson for two, tag to Anderson again.


Double elbow to the jaw, elbow drop from Anderson for two. Anderson has Ivan in the ropes, elbows and knees. Hammerlock throw into the buckle, another tag to Larson. Anderson and Larson continue to batter Ivan, I have never seen babyfaces beat up a heel for so long. Larson has an arm-bar on Ivan, Nikita is infuriated on the apron. Nikita wants in badly, Anderson is in the ring and working the arm of Ivan, Ivan rakes the eyes of Anderson and Anderson meets the boot of Nikita.


Nikita comes in and chokes Anderson, Ivan distracts the referee. Anderson tries raking the eyes, Nikita lands shoulder thrusts over and over. Anderson throws rights and lefts on Nikita, Nikita takes Anderson to the corner. Bearhug from Nikita, Anderson is in serious trouble. Anderson tries to fight his way out, Anderson begins to fade in this hour-long bearhug. Anderson is moving though, Anderson is digging down deep. Clubbing blows, Nikita tags in Ivan who stops the tag. Elbow from Ivan, Anderson is down and hurt. Nikita comes back in and does that bearhug, large USA chants ring throughout the arena. Anderson clubs at the mammoth Nikita, inverted atomic drop from Anderson. Larson gets the hot-tag, right hands to Nikita and Ivan.


Noggin-knocker, Larson is fired up! Big elbow to the jaw of Nikita, Nikita dodges the dropkick by holding the ropes, massive clothesline into a choke-hold. Tag to Ivan, hot-shot onto the ropes. Small package from Larson for two, Nikita and Anderson come in with Nikita being knocked to the floor. Nikita clotheslines down Don Kernodle, Anderson brawls with Nikita. The referee does not see Ivan clock Larson with a chain to the head for the win! The Koloffs steal the win in this match! Don Kernodle gets revenge and saves his brother at the end of the match.


Quite a hot match, couldn’t understand why Ivan was worked over for so long until I saw Nikita in the ring, green as goose shit right there. Big and powerful but a long way to go for Nikita here, Anderson did very well in his role as babyface in peril, believed that ass whopping and Anderson did put over how dominant Nikita was, best match of the night so far I would say!


Winners: Koloffs over Ole Anderson & Keith Larson via hain to The Head!


(NWA World Television Championship Match) Tully Blanchard © W/ JJ Dillon vs Ricky Steamboat


Our champion has developed a habit of stalling and going to time-limit draws to protect his beloved championship so a rule has been made for this match that if Tully stalls in this match, Tully will forfeit his championship. Tully oozes overconfidence, the man could not be more cocky if he tried, there is no disqualifications for this one so it seems the champion has been backed into a corner.


Steamboat goes in with injured ribs, Tully goes right for the ribs with vicious shots and Steamboat brawls back winning that war with Tully scrambling to run away. Steamboat drops a knee, suplex into the ring. Jumping chop for two, Steamboat and Tully are bringing energy in the first seconds that blows away everything I have seen thus far. Rear-naked choke from Steamboat, Tully comes up and tries to wriggle free but Steamboat is in control. Tully makes it to the ropes, Steamboat lands a knee-lift. Tully cannot slip to the floor though, Steamboat holds his ribs showing a sign of weakness. Tully comes closer, stalking the challenger. Shot right to the ribs, Tully begins working it with big right hands. Back-breaker and elbow to the spine, kick to the ribs from Tully.


Elbow to the ribs from Tully, Steamboat battles his way back in but Steamboat is not looking too good in this one. Massive chops from Steamboat, Tully is in trouble. Knee drop to the head, make it two. Two count for Steamboat, rear chin-lock from the challenger. Tully tries diving to the floor to avoid pain, Tully attacks the ribs again. Belly to back suplex from Tully, kidney punch for two. Steamboat escapes the sleeper for a choke-hold, Tully makes it to the ropes. Tully backs away, a reversal of what we saw earlier. Tully begins jabbing and dancing around the ring, Steamboat seems unfazed. Tully spits on Steamboat, Steamboat continues to stay calm because Tully will not lock-up. Leapfrogs and powerslam for two, Tully is scrambling as Steamboat rams Tully into the turnbuckle. Double chop for two, massive right from the challenger. Steamboat lands ten punches in the corner, another knee drop to the head.


Massive chop levels Tully, two for the challenger. Tully is rocked, Steamboat looks down on the champion. Tully is bleeding, Steamboat spits on Tully and lands massive corner chops. Swinging neck-breaker for two, slingshot suplex for two and a half! Dropkick levels Tully, two for the challenger. Tully is out on the floor but has some sort of foreign object, Steamboat ducks the first shot but when trying the belly to back suplex, Tully clocks Steamboat in the head. Flying crossbody for two, the champion is in control. Tully wants the superplex, Steamboat counters and nails the top rope splash for two and a half! Tully reverses an Irish whip, Steamboat wants the sunset flip but Tully clocks Steamboat in the face with a foreign object and retains the championship.


Damn I wanted more, I thought they could have gone just a few more minutes and I wouldn’t have had a problem, Steamboat is such a great babyface and his selling is tremendous, Tully is the ultimate smug piece of trash and they play their parts to perfection. I would have thought the ribs would have played more into the finish but cracking someone with a foreign object is good protection for The Dragon, great stuff though. Both men were great and I would loved some more!


Winner: Tully Blanchard over Ricky Steamboat via Right Hand!


(NWA United States Championship Match) Wahoo McDaniel © vs Superstar Billy Graham


Superstar Billy Graham is all about the posing right here, Wahoo McDaniel looks pissed so this should be fun? Maybe? Who knows? Both men have seen better days, they are slow to lock-up with Graham wanting to karate kick the head off of Wahoo. Very slow before we have an eye-rake from Wahoo, chops into the chest and back of the head. Hard Irish whip to the corner, Graham reverses and slaps on The Full-Nelson!!! Wahoo makes the ropes, Graham has to break the hold. More clubbing with Graham landing a shoulder block but a stiff chop ends this one. What was that? Seriously? Probably the most inconsistent card I have ever seen!


Winner: Wahoo McDaniel over Superstar Billy Graham via Chop!


(NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match) Ric Flair © vs Dusty Rhodes


Smokin Joe Frazier is here for this match, big fight feel for this main event. The Nature Boy vs The American Dream, the moment we have all been waiting for or at least I hope so. It’s for all the marbles, Rhodes vs Flair. Rhodes and Flair lock-up, Rhodes backs Flair to the corner but we have a clean break. Lock-up, side headlock and shoulder block from Rhodes, elbow to the head decks Flair. Flair is a little shaken, side headlock from Rhodes. Flair wants the leg, Rhodes squeezes hard to avoid a shin-breaker. Flair pushes Rhodes to the ropes, clean break from Nature Boy. Knee to the ribs, chop from Flair. Chop after chop before Rhodes lands stinging jabs, side headlock from Rhodes. Flair escapes and lands a knee drop to the skull, kicks to the ribs from Flair.


Right hand to the skull, Rhodes meets the buckle hard. Snap-mare into a knee drop from Flair but it misses, Rhodes applies the figure four on Flair. Flair makes it to the ropes but the effects are clear, the champion is in a bad way as Rhodes begins working that leg. Flair can only grab at the face of Rhodes, the challenger is in control until Flair escapes the hold and punches Rhodes in the face over and over. Flair is in the corner, Rhodes is not happy about the right hands to the dome. Side headlock from Rhodes, Flair applies a massive key-lock before Rhodes reverses the hold. Arm-bar from Rhodes, Flair escapes but runs into a gorilla press slam, chop takes down Flair. Bionic elbows and chops are traded, Rhodes clubs down on Flair. Whip to the buckle with Flair flipping to the floor, Flair climbs high and gets caught from Rhodes. Rhodes misses an elbow drop, Rhodes blocks the right hand and attacks Flair. Flair shoves off Rhodes, sleeper from the champion but Rhodes runs around and sends Flair to the floor.


Flair trips up Rhodes, chops and right hands on the floor. Rhodes hits the ring-post hard, Rhodes is bleeding everywhere.  Referee Frazier is checking the eye of Rhodes, Flair wants to go in for the kill. Snap-mare into mounted right-hand punches, Rhodes is up fast though and delivers a massive elbow on Flair. Flair fires back at that cut, Joe Frazier is not happy about the damage done to the eyes. Flair continues brawling with Rhodes, elbows and punches. Joe Frazier is checking the eye, Frazier waves it off?? WHAT?????????????? Flair is the winner??????


You cannot be fucking serious, the main event of your big show ends in a finish like that? Rhodes is not even the only person on this card to bleed! What the hell is this? I cannot believe what I am seeing right here? How can Starrcade be considered so iconic when the second event ends like this? Forget about all the action in the ring, that ending has left such a sour taste in my mouth, what garbage!


Winner: Ric Flair over Dusty Rhodes via Referee Stoppage!


That was NWA’s Starrcade 1984, easily one of the worst shows I had to sit through when reviewing, very little redeeming qualities when it comes to this show. Without context, Steamboat and Tully is a great contest, I wish it was a little longer but when you add in everything they were doing on TV, it would seem that Steamboat winning was the right call especially when Dusty would go onto do what Steamboat could not a little later but large portions of this show was awful and had me asking “Why?” Naturally, a terrible sign if you are looking at something and that’s the word that comes to mind. It seems Starrcade may have some of that early Wrestlemania feel where nothing matters except two matches but sometimes, even those big matches are not hitting that sweet spot. Pretty bad, one of the worst I had to sit through so hopefully, things pick up soon with these Starrcade reviews! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!


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