WWF Wrestlemania XIV Review!

 

Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that looks more barren than the roster to choose from in WWE 2K22! It’s WWF Wrestlemania XIV, this is a big one because this means I have watched every WWF PPV from Wrestlemania 1 to Wrestlemani 14! A significant run for sure and because I have previously covered ECW, The Attitude Era and onwards to roughly the end of 2008 as well as WCW The Start of The NOW until The End, it means it is time for a new series on this blog. That new series? I am going back in time to cover WCW from the first Starrcade until the beginning of The New World Order. Excited to jump on that train but let’s stay focused, we are here to witness the beginning of a new era as Shawn Michaels defends his WWF Championship against The Texas Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin’s popularity skyrocketed following his feud with Bret Hart, Austin would become even more popular following his injury at the hands of Owen Hart and it would culminate in this moment: a chance to become WWF Champion. We also have Undertaker battling his little brother Kane, Kane tried to destroy The Deadman and Undertaker was reluctant to battle his own flesh and blood but now, Taker sees no other choice and his brother must be destroyed! We also have Luna vs Sable, The Rock against Ken Shamrock and Triple H taking on Owen Hart so plenty of big matches on paper but will they deliver on this night? Let’s find out!

 

Number One’s Contender Tag Team Battle Royal Match

 

Tag teams of the WWF battle to become the number one contenders for the championships, let’s run down some of the competitors for this match. The Nation represented by Kama & Faarooq, The Headbangers, The New Midnight Express, Boricuas, Godwinns, D’Lo & Mark also represent The Nation but none of that matters because we have a mystery team and it’s LOD. LOD had been taken out by D-Generation X with Hawk’s iconic haircut being shaved off but LOD are here with a new attitude and a new look, we finally have something for Sunny to do too which would be great considering how good of a mouthpiece she can be but as a babyface manager?

 

Everyone piles into the ring, you have a lot of what I hated about 1996/1997 WWF in that ring like The Godwinns, Boricuas and D.O.A. Some odd ones too with Steve Blackman in there and Flash Funk. Lots of clubbing going on in the ring, Sniper & Recon from The Truth Commission are in this? What? Kurgan is eliminated? I couldn’t even see him in there, Sunny and Cornette are talking shit to one another which is interesting considering how well they know one another. Barry Windham continues his feud with Bradshaw by throwing out Chainz, the partner of Bradshaw.

 

You keeping up with this? Because it’s a mess and a million miles per hour, Heel Rock N Roll Express will never get old to me, who could have though that was a good idea? Lots of pairing off, Thrasher has been dumped out. Mark Henry is still in the ring despite D’Lo being dumped out minutes ago so you can see it’s one of those train-wrecks. We have four teams, LOD, The New Midnight Express, D.O.A and The Godwinns. Henry Godwinn clubs out 8-Ball, Phineas gets thrown out by Skull so both teams end up leaving. Phineas and Henry have slop buckets and The Legion of Doom have been cracked in the head with the buckets. The New Midnight Express feel victory coming, double elbow to Hawk. Hawk hangs on and fights off Bart and Bob, Animal clotheslines on The Express. Powerslam on Bart, boot on Bob. Double clothesline and The Legion of Doom are going to Unforgiven.

 

An average battle royal, lots of brawling and pairing off in corners, little drama until the double slop buckets to the heads, could have been a lot better but could have been worse. At least the fans love LOD so that’s a positive, right team won but you already know how this works out so it’s clear the WWF had no idea what to do with one of the hottest tag teams of all-time!

 

Winners: LOD over Everyone Else via Survival!

 

(WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match) Taka Michinoku © vs Aguila

 

A tough spot for Taka to be in, hopefully Taka can get these people on their feet. Taka is no stranger to the Mexican style so Aguila and Taka should work fine together. Arm-drags and headscissors to kick us off, spinning heel kick from Aguila. Baseball slide from Aguila, moonsault from Aguila. Aguila taunts the crowd after a beautiful moonsault, Taka is on the apron. Taka lands on his feet and dropkicks Aguila, springboard splash from Taka. Aguila takes a breather, Irish whip and flying forearm. Kicks from Taka, Taka is on the apron and lands a beautiful dropkick. Snap-mare with a dropkick to the back of the head and one to the face for good measure, Aguila back-drops Taka to the floor. Taka stops the dive, Aguila lands a springboard arm-drag, make it two. Beautiful wrist-lock arm-drag, corkscrew plancha from Aguila.

 

Taka is on the apron, springboard tornillo misses but Aguila lands a moonsault for two. Open palm slap from Taka, Taka climbs high. Bit of a miss communication with Aguila stopping a crossbody with his knees before landing a springboard hurricanrana. Aguila is whipped to the buckle, knee to the face from Taka. Missile dropkick, Michinoku Driver is countered as Aguila slides out but eats a powerbomb. Taka misses a moonsault, La Magistral for two. Aguila tries a crossbody, dropkick counter from Taka and one Michinoku Driver later, the champion has retained.

 

A fun high-flying contest between two men who would have to do damn-near kill one another to elicit a reaction from the fans as there is just no respect there for the level of work and talent that the athletes possess. However, don’t feel bad for Taka as Taka had quite the career in Japan and still continues to wrestle to this very day. Regardless, there are some nice spots mixed in here but it’s not the crowd’s cup of tea.

 

Winner: Taka Michinoku over Aguila via Michinoku Driver!

 

(WWF European Championship Match) Triple H © W/ Chyna vs Owen Hart

 

The Black Hart wanted to wipe out D-Generation X for what they did to his brother Bret, Bulldog and Neidhart. These two have battled as HBK was on a collision course with Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen had a lot of momentum but it seems to have fizzled a little bit come Wrestlemania time. The added stipulation to this match is Chyna is handcuffed to Commissioner Slaughter. Worth nothing that Slaughter vs Helmsley was arguably the worst match I have seen in quite some time, I don’t think Owen should have shaved his beard as the crazed look of The Black Hart worked way better for the gimmick.

 

Owen comes down and pummels Helmsley, rights and lefts with a big back body-drop, ten punches in the corner. Hurricanrana for two, Helmsley is yet to have got started. Helmsley lands an elbow to the face, Helmsley kicks Owen to the floor. Chyna tries hitting Owen but Slaughter stops that action. Owen batters Helmsley, Sharpshooter attempt but Helmsley goes for the eyes. Owen kicks back at Helmsley, face-buster from Helmsley with a big clothesline for added measure. Chops in the corner, stomps too from Helmsley. High running knee from Helmsley for two, knee drop from Helmsley. Owen begins battling back, kicks too. Helmsley boots Owen, DDT from the champion for two. Helmsley wakes up and starts working the ankle which was in a cast two weeks before this match. Elbows and wrenching holds from the champion, the challenger is in serious trouble.

 

Owen starts fighting back, shoulder thrusts from Owen. Owen trips up Helmsley and meets the ring-post groin-first. Chyna is irate as Owen lands a missile dropkick for two. Spinning heel kick for two, enzuigiri from Owen who hurts his foot waffling Helmsley. Two for Owen, Helmsley counters the hurricanrana for a powerbomb, two for the champion. Helmsley does not connect with the superplex, diving crossbody from Owen for two. Pedigree is blocked, Sharpshooter is blocked too with Owen bouncing off the turnbuckle and headbutting Helmsley down there. Two for Owen, Chyna continues to threaten Slaughter, Pedigree is blocked again. Owen rolls through the sunset flip, Sharpshooter from The Black Hart. Chyna helps Helmsley reach the ropes, Owen begins pummelling the champion, the referee has to pull back Owen. Chyna throws powder in the eyes of Slaughter, Chyna low-blows Owen and Helmsley lands The Pedigree to steal the win.

 

Solid match between these two, a return to form for Helmsley who initially won me over upon entering the company back in 1995, Helmsley obviously grew leaps and bounds in his feud with Mankind but as Michael’s sidekick, I think Helmsley has stopped flourishing but a big change is coming ladies and gentlemen, as much as Helmsley is meant to be heel, the fans are cheering for Helmsley. I feel for Owen, The Black Hart gimmick had legs and a feud with the champion even if Owen lost, could have been something but it simply did not go that way.

 

Winner: Hunter Hearst Helmsley over Owen Hart via Pedigree!

 

Marc Mero & Sable vs Goldust & Luna

 

We have a promo package for this match of all matches, Sable continues to grow in popularity, Mero was a piece of shit to Sable but they are partners against Goldust & Luna so we shall see how this goes, I can only imagine what will be coming my way. Goldust and Mero to start, head-scissors and clothesline from Mero. Luna is tagged in, Mero says to the crowd “Do you want Sable?” Luna powders and we have a chase around the ring, Luna tags in Goldust. Goldust jumps Mero, back body-drop from Mero. Tag to Sable who kicks Goldust square in the head, Luna seems resistance to mix it up. Mero starts throwing his jabs and straights to the ribs, whip to the opposite buckle with Goldust landing a boot and a massive clothesline.

 

Snake eyes onto the top rope, Goldust chokes Mero using the middle rope. Both men collide with Mero landing a crossbody for two, Goldust drops down for an uppercut, both men bang heads and are down. Sable and Luna are in, Sable takes down Luna and lands forearms on the crazy one. Sable kicks Luna in the corner and head, snap-mare and a shot to Goldust. Clothesline to the floor, tag to Goldust. Goldust is sent into the steel steps, slingshot splash is stopped by knees. Mero low-blows Goldust, TKO is blocked into a DDT from The Bizarre One. 1…2. Mero kicks out barely. Goldust kicks Mero into the corner, Mero counters the curtain call and lands his knee-lift. Marvelocity? Turnaround moonsault for two, Goldust elbows Mero. Mero crotches Goldust, super hurricanrana for two. Luna kicks Mero, Mero thinks about hitting Luna but Goldust runs into Luna by mistake. Schoolboy by Mero for two, TKO connects on Goldust with Luna making the save. Sable is in but the referee is not paying attention, Luna dives onto Sable by mistake. Sablebomb for two,  Luna rakes the eyes.

 

Luna chokes Sable on the middle rope, knees to the back from Luna. The second time though, Sable manages to move out of the way but Sable cannot gain control. Luna lands shoulder thrusts, Sable counters the Irish whip and delivers a TKO for the win!

 

Herculean performance from Luna to make Sable look decent inside of that ring, I don’t think it could have worked out any better for all involved during this contest, this was quite the victory for the WWF as a whole. Mero would be gone by the end of next year after feuding with his wife while Sable would follow suite in early 1999 as did Goldust while Luna struggled away for respect during an era where it was more about how you looked than how you wrestled. Fair-play to all involved on this night, the fans got what they wanted.

 

Winners: Marc Mero & Sable over Goldust & Luna via TKO!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) The Rock © W/ The Nation vs Ken Shamrock

 

No Faarooq in sight, building the tension between Rock and Faarooq for the leadership of The Nation. Ken Shamrock is red-hot as he has been since I would say Summerslam 1997 where we saw Shamrock truly snap for the first time. Shamrock has beaten Rock on numerous occasions but the slimy champion continues to hold onto the championship somehow. Shamrock runs down to the ring, right hands and a clothesline to the floor after a big kick from Shamrock. If Rock gets disqualified, he will lose the championship. Shamrock chases Rock up the ramp, Rock is bounced off the guardrail. Eye poke from Rock, Shamrock sends Rock into the ring steps. Shamrock lands two clotheslines in the ring, side-kick and right hands from Shamrock.

 

Rock pulls Shamrock to the floor and into the steel steps, scoop slam and People’s Elbow for two. Shamrock fights back with big rights, Shamrock sends Rock to the floor. Shamrock has a chair, Shamrock shoves down the referee so Rock uses the chair and waffles Shamrock in the face but Shamrock manages to kick out, Shamrock is irate after being cracked in the head. Elbow from Shamrock, calf, kick from Shamrock and a powerslam for two. Belly to belly suplex from Shamrock, Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring and Rock taps, Shamrock belly to belly suplexes all Nation members and continues torturing Rock which leads to the referee reversing the decision. Faarooq watches Rock scream in pain as the referee reverses the decision.

 

Not sure why they didn’t want to pull the trigger on Shamrock as champion, maybe The World’s Most Dangerous Man didn’t need it but boy was Shamrock fun to watch when he was allowed to murder people, another brief contest between Shamrock and Rock coming out victorious. I am happy to see the conclusion of the feud with Shamrock finally winning the championship but that never happened sadly, Shamrock would capture the gold after HHH vacated the championship but a lot had changed by that time and while Shamrock was always taken care of when in the WWF, I can’t help but think this was the time to give the championship to Shamrock while Rock went off to sort his problems with Faarooq.

 

Winner: The Rock over Ken Shamrock via Referee’s Reversal Decision!

 

(WWF Tag Team Championship Dumpster Match) The New Age Outlaws © vs Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie

 

The Outlaws shoved the challengers off the Raw stage in a dumpster where they suffered horrific injuries which leads us to this match between the two, the challengers start hot, peppering the champions with punches and knees before Billy hot-shots Chainsaw. Road Dogg fights away from Cactus, baking tray to the head from Road Dogg. Billy saves his partner with a baseball slide, Billy has a busted nose as Chainsaw meets the guardrail. Chainsaw is placed in the dumpster, Russian leg-sweep into the dumpster on Cactus. Chainsaw fights his way out of the dumpster, both challengers have their heads smashed with the lids of the dumpster. Cactus and Chainsaw are dumped in, Mandible Claw on both Outlaws, this match is not over. Chainsaw comes out with a baking tray and waffles Billy.

 

Chainsaw cracks Billy again, Cactus Jack elbow drop to the floor. DDT on a baking tray by Chainsaw, Cactus pulls out a ladder. Cactus begins climbing the ladder, Billy low-blows Chainsaw. Road Dogg smashes Chainsaw who tips over the ladder that has Cactus and Billy on it, they fall into the dumpster. Chainsaw is powerbombed into the dumpster, Cactus is by the stage. They battle to the backstage area, Cactus is attacked with some trays and throw into some giant soda cans. Cactus grabs a chair and smacks Road Dogg in the head and Billy eats a Double Arm DDT on a forklift. The Outlaws are dumped into the dumpster with Cactus closing the lids. The match is over!

 

Didn’t know it could be any dumpster? Silly you but yeah an interesting brawl for sure, could have been worse. Didn’t overstay its welcome, lots of weapons, lots of smoke and mirrors which added to my enjoyment of the match, some nasty bumps too. Not much else to say about this one, Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie gain their revenge for the dumpster attack, things could not have ended on a happier note.

 

Winners: Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie over The New Age Outlaws via Closing The Dumpster!

 

Kane W/ Paul Bearer vs The Undertaker

 

Kane is alive! Words burned into my memory due to that memorable promo from Paul Bearer, Undertaker was manipulated by Paul Bearer due to this dark secret, Undertaker called Bearer’s bluff and those words were spoken. Taker doubted this could be true, his little brother could not have survived what happened to Taker’s parents. Undertaker continued his war with HBK, culminating in The Hell in A Cell match, Taker had battered HBK and before the final blow could be dealt, the arena went dark and Kane emerged for the first time, tombstoning his brother and allowing Shawn Michaels to win the match. Taker refused to do battle with his brother, he would not fight his own flesh and blood so things continued as before with Taker battling Shawn Michaels. Michaels would attack Taker but Kane would rescue his brother, it seemed that Kane and Taker would work together after all but Kane would turn on his brother at The Royal Rumble, locking his brother in a casket and setting it ablaze. Taker survived and decided enough was enough which leads us to this moment, two brothers, two monsters, two of the most dominating forces in the WWF doing battle.

 

They go nose to nose, staring one another down. Taker hammers Kane who hardly wobbles, boots and knees by Taker with Kane continuing to stand his ground. Elbow from Kane, Taker stomps away on Kane but Kane sends Taker to the corner. Taker elbows away Kane but Kane lands a short clothesline, more brawling from Taker. Kane misses a clothesline but sends Taker to the tree of woe, stomps from The Big Red Machine. Hard Irish whips from Kane, corner clothesline from Kane. Uppercuts and knees from Kane, Taker is draped across the top rope. Kane climbs high and comes down with his clothesline, more uppercuts and right hands and a corner choke from Kane. Taker eats an electric chair drop, Kane has the steel steps and drives them into the back of the head of Taker. Kane grabs the steps again and drives them into the ribs of The Deadman. Paul Bearer gets in a number of stomps on Taker, Kane has Taker on the apron. Suplex into the ring from Kane, Kane continues brawling. Taker comes back with a clothesline, Taker ducks two clotheslines but runs into a Chokeslam from Kane. 1…2.. Kane pulls up Taker by the hair, Kane wants to punish Undertaker. Kane applies a reverse chin-lock, Taker fights back with rights and lefts but Taker is floored by a clothesline, elbow drop from Kane. Taker manages to drop Kane to the floor, boot by Taker. Taker tries a suicide dive but Kane sidesteps and drops Taker through the announce table. Kane smacks Taker with the leftovers of the table.

 

Kane is on the top rope, diving clothesline from The Big Red Machine for two. Kane batters Taker but The Deadman is not staying down, more brawling with Taker winning the war. Taker catches Kane but Kane Slips out, Tombstone Piledriver but Undertaker manages to kick out! Seconds later, Taker is on his feet brawling with Kane. Rights and lefts from Taker, clothesline by The Phenom. Taker lands a massive Chokeslam! Tombstone Piledriver! 1…2.. Kane manages to kick out! Leg drop from Taker, Kane is up again. Second Tombstone Piledriver, 1….2… Kane kicks out again! Taker climbs high, diving clothesline from The Deadman but Kane is up again.  A 3^rd Tombstone Piledriver, 1…..2….3!

 

Quite the entertaining match for the beginning of a rivalry that would come to symbolize/dominate both of their careers. Kane is allowed to dominate and Taker is shown to be vulnerable, Taker has not been this vulnerable since the match with Diesel, two years before this match. Kane gets his heat back at the end too by Tombstoning Taker onto a steel chair, Taker was able to overcome his stronger brother through strategy and determination, Taker’s will to survive is on full display here and that sound when Kane survives that first tombstone is insane, you could feel the shock ripple through the arena. A war befitting of the feud, great story-telling that had been building since early 1997 culminating in a great match and a new star in Kane.

 

Winner: The Undertaker over Kane via Tombstone Piledriver!

 

(WWF Championship Match) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels © W/ D-Generation X

 

Stone Cold Steve Austin had won the Royal Rumble, we have been waiting months for this moment, people have wanted Austin and that championship for months and we are mere minutes away from that reality. Iron Mike Tyson is the special guest enforcer for this match, in his D-X gear because in the run-up to Wrestlemania, Mike Tyson had been unveiled as a member of D-Generation X. HBK had it all figured out, HBK had his posse and had Mike Tyson in his back pocket so what could go wrong? Said it before and said it again, Shawn Michaels was a God during 1997 and I am deeply saddened we did not get to enjoy HBK in 1998.

 

Austin misses as HBK nails a big jab to the eye, Michaels continues to talk-trash as Michaels is too quick for The Rattlesnake. HBK’s body language is fantastic to start off, Austin nails a Polish hammer and starts whooping Michaels, Michaels is kicked around the ring with his ass hanging out, Austin back-drops Michaels onto Helmsley, Helmsley jumps Austin with the referee seemingly powerless? The referee does not want to throw out the WWF Championship match, Helmsley and Chyna have been ejected as Michaels starts pummelling Austin. Austin jumps Helmsley who was walking away, HBK nails a massive clothesline. HBK drills Austin with a drum cymbal, Austin meets the dumpster from earlier. Michaels is on the top rope, Austin stops the axe handle. Michaels does his corner bump, it does not go well and Austin lands an inverted atomic drop for two.

 

Austin works the arm, eye-rake from Michaels. Stun-gun from Austin for two, Michaels dodges the stunner but Austin clotheslines HBK off the apron and onto the announce table. Michaels meets the steel steps, Austin lands a massive elbow across the throat. Austin slaps on the reverse chin-lock, this is a curious one. Jaw-breaker from Michaels, Austin sends Michaels into the ring-post using his legs. Michaels meets the guardrail but HBK back-drops Austin into the crowd. Michaels can take control now, left jabs from Michaels. Snap-mare and mounted punches from Michaels.

 

Stomp the groin, Michaels flips off the crowd which leads to Austin taking down Michaels, Michaels is hurled to the floor by the challenger. Michaels trips up Austin and wraps that knee around the ring-post. Again and again, Austin meets the ring-post. Michaels continues stomping away at the knee of Austin, Austin clutches his leg in pain. Austin avoids a figure four and kicks HBK into the ring-post, schoolboy for two. Michaels goes back to the knees, baseball slide from Michaels. Austin is distracted by Tyson, chop block from Michaels. Figure four from HBK, HBK uses the ropes for leverage. Austin reverses the hold, reversing the pressure but Michaels reaches the ropes quickly. Right hands by Austin, catapult into the buckle and a roll-up for two. Sleeper from HBK, Austin is beginning to fade.

 

Austin backs into the corner with Michaels, crushing the referee in the process. Austin stun-guns Michaels again, right hands from Austin. HBK bounces off every buckle, stomps from Austin. Back body-drop, Austin gets hit with a flying forearm. Michaels delivers a massive elbow drop to the heart of Austin, Michaels calls for the end. Austin ducks Sweet Chin Music, Michaels blocks and shoves off Austin but Austin catches the foot and drills HBK with The Stone Cold Stunner with Mike Tyson sliding in and counting the pin. Irate by the betrayal, Michaels confronts Tyson which does not end well as Tyson decks HBK.

 

As good as it could have been, it was clear as day that something was off with HBK as this match began, Michaels is grimacing throughout the entire match and while his body language is terrific, this is not the Shawn Michaels we know and love who can deliver a show-stealing performance with ease. HBK and Austin do their best to deliver an unforgettable performance but I think the match is best summed up by Tyson’s three count: Too fast that doesn’t let you enjoy the moment, close but not what we needed. However, we have what we always wanted, the Austin Era can begin and there are a lot of challengers awaiting The Rattlesnake and what a journey it would be!

 

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin over Shawn Michaels via Stone Cold Stunner!

 

That was WWF Wrestlemania XIV, a Wrestlemania that continues the trend started in 1997 which followed into 1998 which was the cards were getting better and the bigger matches were doing what they needed to do. What I hated most about WWF in this era is on full-display in the first match, tag teams like Godwinns, Truth Commission, and number of acts that weren’t interesting inside of that ring. The Light Heavyweight Championship match is fun but the fans don’t care, the division was never going to rival what WCW had which was a shame for the talent busting their asses in the ring. HHH vs Owen delivers like HHH had been since I first saw him in the company, more fleshed out and more confident, HHH had grown so much in his feud with Mankind and it seems that this was a return to form since not having much to do in the past months as HBK’s sidekick. Rock vs Shamrock was odd to me, the reversed decision was never going to go down well considering we had a screwy finish at The Rumble so why not pay off the angle here? Baffling from the WWF like repackaging LOD and continuing to do nothing with them! Undertaker vs Kane delivers, the angle is fantastic and the match is two big monsters attacking one another and I was invested in it, Taker can be hit and miss, I have expressed that many times but on this night, it was a good night for The Deadman and in the main event, they did their best with what they could do, I don’t think I have ever watched a match where I knew just how much pain a performer was in, I have seen injuries and people try to work through pain only to stop but never like this, Michaels takes that first bump and his body fails him like his bones were suddenly made of glass, it must have been horrific but Michaels did what he had to do, he crowned the new king and his name was Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 

So this wraps up looking at the WWF through 1985 to 1998, what a journey it has been, I have tasted the highs of the Golden Era, watched story-telling and matches unfold that had me screaming up and down, we moved into The New Generation Era that had lows which I would call the lowest of lows but when things were good, they were really good and finally, the transition to The Attitude Era which also had its fair share of bad matches and acts but some amazing highs, I think wrestling will always be a mix of highs and lows and while I wanted to tear my hair out on some of these reviews, I am glad that I stuck with it and finished what I want to accomplish. Now into new territory, I know the big angles and the big feuds and have a fair idea of how things go but I have never seen the majority of it but that changes with our next reviews as I deep dive into WCW from 1983 to 1996, 13 years of PPVs where legends come and go and the company grows. From Crockett to Jim Herd to Bill Watts to everyone in between to finally Eric Bischoff. Could it be great? Could it be bad? Probably both but let’s see where it takes us right? Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

WWF In Your House 20: No Way Out Review!

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling reviews series on the internet that won’t go away like Rob Feinstein! It’s Road to Wrestlemania time with WWF In Your House: No Way Out! The big matches of the night include an 8-Man Tag with a mystery partner taking the place of the WWF Champion Shawn Michaels as DX battle a team led by Stone Cold Steve Austin! We also have Vader taking on Kane as well as Shamrock continuing his feud against The Nation of Domination. Nothing screaming important about this PPV it really is more of a pitstop before we have Wrestlemania.

 

Marc Mero & Marilyn Mandust W/ Sable vs The Headbangers

 

See what I mean? This screams RAW opening match, this match has come about as Thrasher was able to beat Goldust thanks to an assist from Sable who was the most popular person in the ring but she has been sent back so we have to suffer through the match without people salivating over Sable. Mero and Mosh to start, Mero looks for the jab. Mosh is tentative, Mero goes low and starts working the ribs. Mosh is rocked in the corner, elbow to the face takes down Mosh. Elbow drops and more punches from Mero, Mosh is sent to the buckle and dodges the elbow. Whip to the buckle, hip splash and clothesline to the floor. The heels regroup on the floor, Mosh takes the arm and tags in Thrasher. Diving clothesline from Thrasher,  Mero goes to the eyes and tags in Goldust.

 

Drop toehold from Thrasher, Thrasher kicks and clotheslines Goldust. Tag to Mosh who lands a diving axe handle. Back body-drop from Mosh, scoop slam and assisted gourdbuster as Mero kicks Mosh in the back of the head. Thrasher clubs Goldust on the floor behind the referee’s back, Goldust eats a dropkick as Mosh tags in Thrasher. Measured clubbing blows, Mero blind-tags in and lands his knee-lift. Elbow drop connects for two, Sable chants ring-out which is great if you are a Headbanger. Thrasher has a headlock and something goes wrong, we are stuck for a bit before Thrasher lands two shoulder blocks before Goldust low-bridges Thrasher. Goldust and Luna assault Thrasher on the floor, Thrasher is bleeding from his head. Suplex onto the top rope from Mero, tag to Goldust. Flying clothesline from Goldust and measured knee drop for two. Measured right hands, tag to Mero who jabs the shit out of Thrasher. Snap-mare into a reverse chin-lock, Thrasher fights back but Mero maintains control.

 

Stomps from Mero, Irish whip and uppercut from Mero. Tag to Goldust who covers for two, mounted punches from Goldust. Flying crossbody from Thrasher for two but Goldust is the fresher man and he tags in Mero. Snap-mare and Mero grabs his wrist-tape and chokes out Thrasher. Powerbomb from Mero for two, the TKO is countered into a DDT. We have the hot-tag, Mosh elbows down and punches both men, massive right hands. Double flapjack from Headbangers, Mero makes the save for the pin-fall. Luna trips up Thrasher to stop the Stage Dive, Goldust tags in Mero who punches Mosh. TKO connects on Mosh but Sable is here and she is going straight for Luna due to Luna’s cheating ways. The Headbangers do the old switch-a-roo and Mero gets rolled up by Thrasher for the win.

 

As good as it could have been if you can believe it, it’s shocking to see Goldust go from a great worker as The Natural to one of the most boring individuals in the WWF before the last 6 years where he has regained his fire and delivered that iconic performance in his match with his brother Cody. However, the fans care about Luna vs Sable, as much as I am shocked by it the fans clearly care which is hilarious considering the way Sable sounds, sounds like a horrible cat. Anyways the match serves to further the feud of Sable vs Mero, I would say I am sad that The Headbangers are being used as a side-plot but then I would be lying. So surprisingly, this was passable.

 

Winners: The Headbangers over Marc Mero & Goldust via Small Package!

 

(WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match) Taka Michinoku © vs Pantera

 

Couldn’t they have found a better position in the company for Sunny? She’s so good on the mic and yet, she is doing announcing for Light Heavyweight Championship matches and refereeing mini-matches but thanks God, I don’t have to watch one of those on this PPV. So, Pantera pinned Taka with a diving headbutt using a foreign object, the challenger is dressed fantastically I might add, Mexican wrestlers and their outfits are top notch. Brian Christopher is here.

 

Pantera and Taka trade chops and a dropkick before Pantera lands an arm-drag and a tope con hilo to the floor. Pantera lands a beautiful arm-drag, headscissors from Pantera. Taka dodges Pantera before Taka springboard splashes Pantera before landing a forearm. Corner forearm from Taka, snap-mare into a dropkick. Low dropkick to the face, Pantera is on the apron. Taka slaps Pantera hard in the face, Taka misses a corner forearm. Diving headscissors off the apron, tope suicida into the guardrail. Pantera is flying now, knees to the spine from Pantera. Back-breaker into a camel clutch, kick to the spine from Pantera. Romero special from Pantera, Taka fights back with chops and kicks. Big forearm before Pantera back-drops Taka to the floor. Baseball slide to the back of the head, tope con hilo from Pantera to the downed Taka.

 

Stretch from Pantera, two for Pantera. Back-breaker from Pantera who climbs high, diving elbow drop to the spine. Tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, Taka is on the apron. Taka slaps Pantera, Pantera cuts off Taka on the top rope. Frankensteiner from the top, big slam and Pantera stands on Taka before nailing a beautiful moonsault for two. Moonsault misses, diving knee drop from Taka. Pantera counters the driver for a small package for two, la magistral for two. Hurricanrana is countered by Taka for a powerbomb for two, missile dropkick into the head. Michinoku Driver for the win!

 

Not a bad match but unfortunately, the fans don’t care. I will say though that Brian Christopher and Jerry Lawler are fantastic together on commentary, I am  always impressed with how much Brian sounds like his dad, it’s unbelievable but very entertaining commentary from father and son. Yeah Taka and Pantera work hard but nobody really cares so what else can I say really? The Michinoku Driver is a beautiful finish and I will never get tired of seeing it!

 

Winner: Taka Michinoku over Pantera via Michinoku Driver!

 

Quebecers vs The Godwinns

 

Babyface Godwinns is some of my worst memories of New Generation WWF, they bore me and were dead in the water once they lost to The Smoking Gunns for the billionth time. They have soundly been beaten by everyone in the meantime bar The Headbangers so I have no interest in seeing them in the slightest. The Quebecers have not been seen in about 4 years and I am not sure what Jacques is thinking with the attire but it looks rough and it seems he has hit his mid-life crisis phase. Phineas and Jacques brawl before Pierre and Henry come in, twisting one another’s arms. Elbow by Pierre, imagine watching two bears trading wrist-locks? Yeah, they do that for a minute or two before Henry works the arm. Why can’t they just play to their strengths? Drop toe-hold by Pierre, tag team stomps in the corner.

 

Henry clotheslines both Quebecers down, Phineas works the arm and lands a spine-buster, leg-drop for two. Jacques meets the boot of Henry, this is so confusing. The Godwinns are battering Jacques like the heels, Jacques’ massive bald-spot is distracting me also from calling this terrible match. Forgive me, sunset-flip from Jacques for two but Phineas kicks Jacques in the head and tags in Henry. Reverse chin-lock from Henry, how are we working this with The Quebecers as the babyfaces? Jacques is headbutted in the groin, Phineas clubs down Jacques. Jacques boots Phineas, spinning elbow from Jacques. Tag to Pierre, massive clothesline and leg drop. Powerslam, double stun-gun from The Quebecers. Piledriver from Jacques, premature celebration before a massive tag finish as Henry saves the day. Jacques dives onto Henry on the floor, Henry clotheslines Pierre who was going for an O’Connor roll and Phineas wins.

 

So you haven’t fully turned The Godwinns? Or The Godwinns are dipshits and decided to work heel because why the fuck not? What a waste of a match, I thought the crowd was quiet for the light heavyweight championship match but no, this match put that match to shame. Heel vs Heel is always a great idea (Not!)

 

Winners: The Godwinns over The Quebecers via Clothesline!

 

(NWA’s North American Championship Match) Jeff Jarrett © W/ Jim Cornette/Rock N Roll Express/Barry Windham vs Blackjack Bradshaw

 

Talking about two parts of the Rumble that actually mattered, Bradshaw had a solid showing beating the piss out of many wrestlers in the ring and Jarrett evoking one of the biggest reactions of the night by being dumped out by Owen Hart! Heel Rock N Roll Express is quite the statement but yes this angle was considered a flop of epic proportions but bless them, they were trying at the start. Bradshaw starts clubbing Jarrett on the floor, the champion is on the defensive early. Jarrett is whipped with leather chaps, Jarrett is booted in the corner. Jarrett uses Cornette to get the jump on Bradshaw, Jarrett continues to use his quickness to bamboozle Bradshaw. Missile dropkick from Jarrett, Cornette chokes Bradshaw behind the referee’s back. Bradshaw almost steals it with a small package, Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Bradshaw punches the champion.

 

Chops in the corner, Jarrett boots Bradshaw coming out of the corner. Knee across the ropes misses but Cornette waffles Bradshaw in the hamstring with his racket. The referee accuses Cornette but nothing comes of it, Jarrett begins working the leg. Elbows and knees to the leg, all working towards the figure four. Bradshaw kicks off Double J, DDT from Jarrett after dodging a clothesline. Jarrett climbs high, Bradshaw crotches Jarrett on the top rope. Superplex is blocked, Jarrett tries the diving crossbody but Bradshaw catches Double J and lands his fallaway slam.

 

Both men start slugging it out, Bradshaw winning that war. Boot to the ribs and a powerbomb from Bradshaw, Cornette is on the apron and pulled into the ring. Cornette and Jarrett collide but Double J has the racket, Double J hits Bradshaw and is DQ-ed before Bradshaw gets up and takes out everyone with the racket before looking at a stumbling Cornette. Scoop slam on Cornette, Barry Windham trips up Bradshaw and The NWA boys batter Bradshaw. Windham nails his big clothesline before LOD come down to the ring and clear house. Still over btw!

 

Well that was average at best, hoped for a little more considering how much I love mid-card Double J and Cornette but it never kicks into that second gear, it’s just a match that goes on and on. This feud will continue though so we shall see how things continue from here!

 

Winner: Bradshaw over Jeff Jarrett via DQ!

 

The Nation of Domination vs Ken Shamrock/Ahmed Johnson/DOA

 

The feud of Ken Shamrock vs The Rock continues with a little bit of extra garnish as we have… D.O.A and Ahmed Johnson (He is still there?) teaming with The World’s Most Dangerous Man. Skull and D’Lo to start, Skull nails a massive right hand before D’Lo goes to the eyes and lands a few rights. Skull whips D’Lo to the corner and delivers a clothesline and ten punches before D’Lo lands an inverted atomic drop and a calf kick. D’Lo ducks his head off an Irish whip before Skull lands a neck-breaker. Here comes Shamrock, spinning reverse elbow and massive right from Shamrock. Japanese arm-drag before D’Lo tags in Kama Mustafa, Shamrock tags in Chainz. Brawling time, rights and lefts from Kama. Chainz nails a massive boot and scoop slam, quick elbows from Chainz. Eye-rake and in comes Mark Henry, Henry wants Ahmed Johnson. Ask and you shall receive, brawling before Henry goes to the eyes and clubs Ahmed down. Clothesline from Henry, eye-rake from Ahmed and a scoop slam from Ahmed. D’Lo comes in and attacks Ahmed, Ahmed blocks the suplex and drops D’Lo with a sit-out gourdbuster. D’Lo rolls to the corner and lands his Lo Down on Ahmed’s ribs, Faarooq comes in and starts slapping the shit out of Ahmed. Shoulder block from Faarooq, Ahmed lands a spinebuster on Faarooq. That explosive energy is still there, Rock saves Faarooq from the plunge. 8-Ball is in, powerslam from 8-Ball for two. Shamrock lands a spinning elbow on Faarooq, headbutt from Faarooq and in comes Rock. DDT on Shamrock for two, Kama comes in after stomps from Rock. Hard whip to the buckle but Shamock dodges, tag to Skull who tags in 8-Ball and they double chop Kama. More tags and Kama rocks 8-Ball, side-kick from Kama for two.

 

 

The tide turns briefly before D’Lo elbows 8-Ball hard, D’Lo lands an elbow off the middle rope for two. In comes Rock who lands a big right hand, scoop slam and The People’s Elbow for one. In comes Faarooq, Faarooq lowers his head too early and 8-Ball drives Faarooq into the mat. Rock comes in, flying clothesline from 8-Ball, Rock punches 8-Ball on the groin behind the referee’s back. Henry comes in, big clothesline on 8-Ball and we have another tag to Kama who lands a scoop slam and elbow drop for two. D’Lo misses a moonsault which gives 8-Ball a chance to tag, Shamrock gets the tag and the match breaks down with everyone filling the ring. Shamrock catches Rock with a belly to belly suplex, arm-bar into The Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring for the win.

 

Fuck me, you made me sit through an 8-Ball face in peril segment which dragged on for eternity to give me a hot-tag that lasted less than 20 seconds, what a waste of Shamrock and Ahmed who is still over despite his descent down the card, I am in utter shock but then again, this night has been utter garbage so this would be nothing new from the standard that had been set, a waste of a lot of talented individuals and a lot of untalented individuals. The biggest thing to come out of this was Faarooq and Rock’s continued war of words, these two men will brawl soon enough and The Nation will fall apart!

 

Winners: Team Shamrock over The Nation via Ankle Lock!

 

Vader vs Kane

 

Having watched Vader’s run from Rumble 1996 to this point, there were more high points that people would like to mention, it was ultimately a disappoint for someone who was as successful as Vader but it was not all doom and gloom, wins over HBK and Taker on PPV plus a fun run as a babyface battering The Heel Hart Foundation and Goldust are up there for me, I know Vader continues with the company beyond this PPV but I won’t be seeing him after this as once we wrap up Wrestlemani XIV, I am going to WCW as I have covered The Attitude Era extensively.

 

This match starts with the two big behemoths clubbing one another, big right hands by both. Uppercuts by Kane, Vader meets the steel steps. Headbutt by Kane, apron clothesline to the throat by The Big Red Machine. Diving clothesline from Kane, throat attacks and boots from Kane. Vader is on the backfoot, choke in the corner. Kane continues choking Vader, headbutts and clubbing blows. Another clothesline like blow from Kane, Paul Bearer shouts instructions from ring-side. Corner clothesline and throat attacks from Kane, Vader starts jabbing back at Kane before Kane knees down Vader. Vader clubs Kane and clotheslines Kane to the floor, DDT from Kane. Vader once again throws haymakers to take down Kane, Vader splash in the corner but Kane wants a chokeslam. Vader goes low and kicks Kane in the nether regions, short-arm clothesline.

 

Splash from Vader, Vader-Bomb incoming for The Big Red Machine. Nah, Vader goes even harder and lands his Vadersault, Kane sits-up though and Vader is in shock. Another clubbing blow, Kane is on his feet and uppercuts as both men brawl at ringside. Vader meets the steel steps hard, Vader sprays the fire extinguisher in the eyes of Kane, Powerbomb from Vader and Paul Bearer is on the apron. Down goes Bearer but Kane sits-up, Chokeslam from Kane and a Tombstone Piledriver for good measure.

 

Not terrible, big fan of both men and I thought oh no as Kane continued to dish out rather ineffective and uninteresting attacks but things picked up once we hit that moonsault. I liked Vader being Vader, shocker I know but lots of fun during this match. Would have benefited from being a shorter match but probably my favourite match of the night so far and believe me, that is saying a lot about this desperate card.

 

Winner: Kane over Vader via Tombstone Piledriver!

 

Stone Cold Steve Austin/Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie/Owen Hart vs D-Generation X/Mystery Partner

 

If HBK was available for this match, I have no doubts that it would be off the charts considering the run that Michaels has been on but we will have to deal with a mystery partner for DX. Who will it be? Who will fill the shoes of HBK? Who will try and ultimately fail?

 

Austin is on a collision course with HBK for the WWF Championship since winning The Royal Rumble while Owen Hart has all the reasons in the world to go after Shawn Michaels after what happened with The Hart Foundation, Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack want to kill The New Age Outlaws because the tag team champions threw Cactus & Chainsaw off the Raw stage in a dumpster. The mystery partner is Savio Vega of The Boricuas, a disappointment for sure and considering my feelings for Vega which I have expressed every time I have seen him in the ring, I am crushed by this announcement. This match wastes no time getting hardcore with weapons being thrown into the ring before we have The Rattlesnake. The crowd explodes as the glass shatters, here comes Austin.

 

Austin decks Billy Gunn to start, perfect start with a Lou Thesz Press from Austin, elbows to the face of Billy. Inverted atomic drop and a trash can shot to the head, Billy Gunn avoids the stunner but Road Dogg and Helmsley eat the trash can lid. Helmsley is sent to the buckle and eats a clothesline for two, Helmsley powders to get away from Austin. Mop to the ribs and Austin chokes Helmsley with the mop, Cactus and Road Dogg are in the ring, trash can to the head of Road Dogg. We have brawling everywhere in the arena, Billy Gunn is sent through the table while Austin brawls with Vega, Sharpshooter on Billy but Helmsley makes the save, Chainsaw wallops Billy with the chair, Road Dogg cracks Chainsaw with the trash can. Austin is battered on the floor, Helmsley powerbombs Owen. It’s a train-wreck for sure, will order be restored at any point? Vega and Chainsaw are in the ring, Helmsley saves Vega. Weapon shots galore, DDT on the trash can lid with Owen making the save.

 

Enzuigiri from Owen on Helmsley, Owen Hart applies The Sharpshooter on Helmsley but Road Dogg makes the save. Austin and Vega are brawling in the corner, Road Dogg low-blows Chainsaw. Powerbomb onto the two chairs, we have a tag-match format now with Billy piledriving Chainsaw on a trash can lid. Cactus makes the save, tag to Helmsley. Chainsaw is battered by Helmsley, Vega comes in and lands haymakers on Chainsaw. Road Dogg back-drops Chainsaw onto a trash-can lid, Cactus continues to save his partner. Austin hurls a trash can at the face of Billy Gunn, wiping him out but Chainsaw cannot make the tag. Helmsley lands an inverted atomic drop, Vega is in now. Front chancery from Vega, referee misses the tag for Owen. The heels continue battering Chainsaw, chair-shot to the head.

 

Road Dogg and Chainsaw bang heads, in comes Cactus who nails everyone with right hands. Road Dogg is battered into the corner, piece of table in front of Road Dogg and Billy is whipped into Road Dogg. Double Arm DDT on Billy for two, Vega makes the save but Owen lands a missile dropkick. Cactua has the mandible claw on both Outlaws before Helmsley lands a low-blow. Crowd chants for Austin, Cactus Jack clothesline on Billy, Road Dogg distracts Cactus which allows Billy to nail the DDT. Snap suplex for two, Vega wraps Cactus in barbed wire. Vega chokes Cactus with the barbed wire, a great visial that looks painful as fuck. Helmsley cracks Cactus with a chair, Vega follows this plan as does Road Dogg.

 

Billy cracks Road Dogg by accident with the chair, Cactus pulls out the barbed wire and makes the mammoth hot-tag that we all want, Austin comes in and drills everyone with right hands. Noggin-knockers for everyone, stomps for Helmsley. Stunner on Road Dogg and this match is over, Stunner on Billy Gunn for good measure with Helmsley being bounced off the announce table, Chyna who has done nothing for the match decides it is time to make her mark with Austin reluctant to stun The Ninth Wonder of The World but Austin is pushed to his limits and Stunners Chyna!

 

The only match worth watching on this awful PPV by a country mile, I have the same issue with it as the Shamrock match. You made me wait for so long, could you not have given me just a little more struggle? Austin wiped the floor with everyone immediately but I wanted a little more drama, is that wrong of me? We also saw little of Owen Hart in here which sucks because we had three feuds going in here with the tag team feud, Austin vs HBK and Owen vs HHH being the other so to not see The Black Hart in there mixing it up with Helmsley was a disappointment for sure. However, the crowd came alive and the chaotic opening with both teams brawling with weapons was exciting and what the crowd wanted, finish was hot and the aftermath was the icing on the cake for those in attendance but I was left wanting more, kudos for doing at least one thing right on this night.

 

Winners: Team Austin over Team HHH via Stunner!

 

That was WWF’s In Your House: No Way Out, arguably the coldest PPV on the road to Wrestlemania, there were two matches I cared for on this card when announced and looking through what I suffered through, I want my two hours and a half back and I would want my money back if I attended, most of this matches would be right at home on RAW, I can’t see why anyone would want to spend their money on what I saw on this card. The fans felt the same way, the big moments of the night revolved around brief glimpses of fun. The opening match was used as a vehicle for Sable who is popular due to how she looks, the light heavyweight match tried but was never going to get over with this crowd. Quebecers vs Godwinns had an identity crisis, garbage match with no babyfaces. Jarrett vs Bradshaw tried but never left second gear while the tag match between Team Shamrock and The Nation was rather dull with an explosive ending that could have been better had everything before it mattered. Vader vs Kane was solid towards the end, they worked hard and I appreciate that while the main event is the only reason to check out the show and even at that, the match just ends the second Austin gets in so no drama, no hook, just boom and done. Not a big fan of this PPV but it’s Wrestlemania XIV time so come back next time for the dawning of The Austin Era! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!

 

WWF Royal Rumble 1998 Review!

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that brings the house down more than D-Generation X! It’s WWF Royal Rumble 1998, the road to Wrestlemania is in full swing. Shawn Michaels reigns supreme as WWF Champion after surviving Ken Shamrock at the last PPV but now, HBK must face the man who he escaped at Bad Blood: The Undertaker and Kane seems to be on the side of his brother so how can Michaels survive The Brothers of Destruction? Also we have Ken Shamrock vs The Rock for the WWF Intercontinental Championship, Vader going after Goldust for what happened at Survivor Series 1997 and we have The Royal Rumble itself with the winner going onto Wrestlemania to challenge for the WWF Championship! What a night it could be!

 

The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust W/ Luna vs Vader

 

Goldust has a psychotic break following his divorce from Marlena, The Bizarre One dumped his wife and started acting more bizarre than ever before because Goldust wanted everyone’s attention once more. Vader wants to kill Goldust after his attacks with a coconut and walking out on Vader at Survivor Series.

 

Goldust jumps Vader as Vader enters the ring, right hands from The Bizarre One. Vader Hammer and a corner splash, Goldust powders to survive. Vader knocks Goldust into Luna, not expecting that bump this early into the match. Vader spanks Goldust and throws Goldust into the steel steps, back body-drop from Vader in the ring. Vader runs the ropes, Luna grabs the foot of Vader and this allows Goldust to land a clothesline. Sunset flip from Goldust, Vader tries a hip splash but Goldust dodges and lands a clothesline. Goldust lands a middle rope elbow to the groin of Vader. Goldust hurls Vader into the steel steps, Luna stabs Vader with her high heels. In the ring, Goldust lands ten punches in the corner. Goldust kisses Vader and Vader clubs the life out of Goldust.

 

 Eye-rake from Goldust, the scoop slam does not work for Goldust. Vader boots Goldust and lands a massive suplex, big splash from Vader for two. Short-arm clothesline, Vader wants The Vader Bomb. Goldust lands a low blow as Luna distracts the referee. Vader splashes Goldust after Goldust misses with the sunset flip. Vader Bomb attempt two, Luna tries choking Vader but Vader carries Luna on his back and lands a Vader Bomb for the win.

 

Mercifully it was brief, Goldust may be beloved now but during his initial run in the Federation, I doubt I have ever seen a good Goldust match. Sliding up and down the card would be a good way to describe both men but the odd time like Canadian Stampede, Vader delivers the goods and this was a good night for Vader.

 

Winner: Vader over Goldust via Vader Bomb!

 

Battalion/Tarantula/El Torito vs Max-Mini/Nova/Mosaic

 

Could they not have put Sunny with a top heel faction at any point? I mean she’s so good on the mic, was she that much of a wreck at the time? They did try again though with LOD a few months after this. Tarantula lands a clothesline on Nova, arm-drag from Nova. Headscissors and dropkick from Nova, Max-Mini and Battallion are in. Arm-drag from Mini, make it two. Make it three, Torito throws around Mosaic. Flapjack from Torito, flapjack countered for an arm-drag, make it two. Tarantula clotheslines Mosaic, tag to Battallion. Nova hip-tosses Torito, arm-drag and make it double. Tarantula boots Mini, clothesline from Tarantula. Tarantula misses a corner splash, Mini lands a top rope hurricanrana. Back body-drop, Tarantula eats an arm-drag.

 

Torito boots Mini in the back of the head, Mini eats another boot from Battallion. Torito lands a fist to the head, Mini lands a big gut punch. Torito counters with a massive fist, Mini brawls back into a leg drop. Mini uses Sunny to kick and attack the heels. Battallion beats on Mosaic, arm-drag from Mosaic who lands a middle rope tope con hilo. Torito lands a plancha, corkscrew tornillo from Mini. Tarantula lands a suicide dive and Nova lands an Asai Moonsault. Torito misses an elbow drop after wiping out Mini, Mini lands a top rope diving hurricanrana and a great arm-drag into a cover for the win!

 

Harmless if not overstaying its welcome, lots of arm-drags that are impressive take nothing away from the performers but much like the audience in attendance, I am rather immune to what was going on inside of that ring.

 

Winners: Team Mini over Team Tarantula via Roll-up!

 

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Ken Shamrock vs The Rock ©

 

The Rock is getting over ladies and gentlemen and he is your WWF Intercontinental Champion but The World’s Most Dangerous Man is running through everyone and is over like rover so what does the future hold for The Rock? Who knows but people want to see Shamrock snap him like a twig so you could not ask for more really.

 

Rocky sucks chant fill the arena, Rock stalls wanting no part of Shamrock. Shamrock throws a kick that sends a shiver up Rock’s spine who backs away at the speed of light. Lock-up, Rock misses the cheap shot. Rock goes low with a boot, right hands from the champion. Shamrock lands a massive kick to the chest, right hand sends Rock to the floor. Eye-rake and right hands from Rock, corner clothesline from Rock. Right hands in the corner, Shamrock explodes out with a clothesline. Make it two, Rock counters the hurricanrana and sends Shamrock into the top rope throat first. Stomps from Rock, Shamrock fights back but Rock cuts off Shamrock and lands massive rights and delivers a foot choke to Shamrock.

 

Shamrock fights but Rock goes to the eyes, Shamrock ducks a clothesline to land a flying crossbody for two. Fisherman suplex from Shamrock for two, Rock pops right back up and lands a clothesline. In the ring, Shamrock lands right hands before Rock nails his floatover DDT for a close two. Reverse chin-lock from Rock, Rock drills Shamrock again to land the chin-lock once more. Rock tries the DDT again but Shamrock lands a northern lights suplex throw with both men down in the middle of the ring. Right hands and powerslam from Shamrock, Shamrock is feeling it right now before Rock goes to the eyes. Hurricanrana from Sahmrock, Shamrock calls for the finish with The Nation running down to ring-side. Rock drills Shamrock with the brass knuckles while the referee was with D’Lo Brown. Smash to the face with the brass knuckles, 1….2… Shamrock kicks out! Belly to belly suplex from Shamrock for the win but Rock tells the referee that brass knuckles were used to secure the win. The referee reverses the decision after finding the brass knuckles, Shamrock snaps accordingly at this injustice.

 

A decent match between these two, the two would build up a tremendous amount of chemistry over the months with their numerous encounters but this first affair was a little rough around the edges. Was it right to put the championship on Shamrock at this time? Yeah Shamrock was white-hot but it’s understandable if they wanted to hold it off until Wrestlemania. Eye-pokes seem to be the weakness of Shamrock, it is all they go after when facing The World’s Most Dangerous Man. Different finish, works for me to extend the feud, looking forward to the Mania match that has to be on the horizon.

 

Winner: The Rock over Ken Shamrock via Reversed Decision!

 

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The New Age Outlaws © vs LOD

 

The champions try jumping the challengers, it does not go well as Animal powerbombs Road Dogg to the floor, Hawk tosses Billy to the floor and the champions take a walk. Road Dogg and Hawk kick us off officially, Hawk nails a shoulder block. Road Dogg wants a tag but nobody is there, corner clothesline from Hawk. Following with a big boot and a fist drop, Hawk tags in Animal. Double elbow and a neck-lock from Animal, hangman’s neck-breaker from Hawk. Hawk smacks Billy off the apron, eye poke from Road Dogg and tag to Billy. Billy runs into a hip-toss and a Lou Thesz press from Hawk, hair-pull throw from Hawk. Tag to Animal, belly to back suplex from Animal. Billy dodges an elbow drop, Animal delivers a massive powerslam to both champions.

 

Animal is tripped up by Road Dogg, Billy sends Animal to the floor and Road Dogg hurls Animal into the steel steps. Road Dogg lands massive kicks to the spine, the spine of Animal is supposedly injured from a powerbomb through the announce table on Raw. Hawk clubs Billy in the ring, Road Dogg comes in for the double team. Hawk lands a clothesline on both champions, Hawk sends Road Dogg to the buckle and misses a corner spear. Hawk is handcuffed to the ring-post, Animal begins fighting back against two men. Animal flips out of the back suplex and lands a clothesline, flying shoulder tackle from Animal. Billy eye-pokes Animal and climbs to the top rope, Billy dives for a powerslam and Animal reverses into a powerslam. 1…2.. Road Dogg cracks Animal with a chair across the back, match ends in DQ as the champions batter the back of Animal.

 

Another case of LOD being protected when it comes to the finish of the match, LOD have been screwed at every opportunity when it comes to the championships, could they be setting up for something big at Wrestlemania? It was very possible but maybe politics/addictions caused those plans to go awry. LOD have been the most popular tag team in the WWF for the year that they have been there so their booking has always been a mystery for me but here we are once more with LOD looking like it’s time to put the championships on them only for those championships to be taken away, at some point it does get dull.

 

Winners: LOD over The New Age Outlaws via DQ!

 

The Royal Rumble Match

 

Thirty men fighting for the opportunity to be the number one contender for the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania, it’s all rather simple: Thirty men with two participants kicking off the rumble, there is a new entrant every ninety seconds and superstars can only be eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. Who are the favourites for the rumble? Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vader, Ken Shamrock, Owen Hart and The Rock have to be big picks to win the rumble.

 

Entrants 1 to 5

 

Number one is Cactus Jack, Cactus Jack brings down trash cans to the ring so I guess we are getting a little hardcore to kick this rumble off, number two is Chainsaw Charlie! The two tag team partners are going to go at it, Terry Funk and Mick Foley are going to batter one another like they have done so many times in Japan & ECW. Cactus starts the match by battering Charlie with the chair, Charlie smashes Cactus back with the chair. Charlie backs off, Charlie wants the chair-shot and takes the best shot of Cactus. Charlie is allowed to crack Cactus, both men are trying to prove who is the toughest. Charlie almost dumps out Cactus, number three is Tom Brandi. Brandi is battered by the tag team of Cactus and Charlie and Brandi is immediately eliminated!

 

Tom Brandi has been Eliminated by Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie!

 

Charlie tries a piledriver but Cactus blocks that action, Cactus suplexes Chainsaw onto two chairs. Number four is The Rock, Charlie and Cactus knock one another down before Rock comes in and starts hammering both men. Loud Rocky sucks chants, Rock forgets about Cactus and is drilled with the trash can. Cactus and Charlie take turns battering Rock who has a trash can on his head before Cactus cracks Rock with a chair. Charlie low-blows Cactus in the corner, number five is Headbanger Mosh who almost gets decked by a thrown chair from Charlie. Charlie misses a moonsault as the war rages on in the ring.

 

Entrants 6 to 10

 

Number six is Henry Godwinn, Godwinn goes after Mosh which is a nice bit of continuity. Charlie and Rock are brawling before Henry comes over, number seven is 8-Ball. The worst of 1997 is coming out here to annoy me, I just know it. Savio Vega has to be next for sure, Cactus Jack tries eliminating Chainsaw but Chainsaw ducks and Cactus goes sailing over the top rope.

 

Cactus Jack has been Eliminated by Chainsaw Charlie!

 

Rock almost dumps out Charlie but the veteran holds on, number eight is Blackjack Bradshaw. Lots of clubbing and brawling with all of these tag team members battering one another. The crowd seems to have dulled a little, Bradshaw continues battering 8-Ball. 8-Ball survives elimination as number nine comes down to the ring and it is Owen Hart who is attacked by Jeff Jarrett with Jim Cornette. Racket to the back of the neck, Owen Hart has been attacked brutally by Double J. Officials get Jarrett out of there, number ten is Steve Blackman. Blackman kicks and punches Chainsaw, Blackman almost dumps out Chainsaw.

 

Number 11 to 15

 

Number eleven is D’Lo Brown, D’Lo brawls with 8-Ball as Bradshaw batters Chainsaw Charlie. D’Lo and Rock brawl after some teamwork, the Nation is looking out for themselves on this night. Number twelve is Kurrgan, this should be a clearing of bodies or at least, I hope it is a clearing of bodies. Kurrgan dumps out Mosh confidently, Blackman is the next to try and face this giant.

 

Mosh has been Eliminated by Kurrgan!

 

Number thirteen is Marvelous Marc Mero who is overshadowed by Sable as always, Mero looks confident. Mero starts boxing Blackman, Sable chants all throughout the arena. Kurrgan shoves out Blackman with ease, Bradshaw starts teeing off on the monster.

 

Steve Blackman has been Eliminated by Kurrgan!

 

Number fourteen is Ken Shamrock, Kurrgan does not even move so Shamrock kicks and takes down Kurrgan. Everyone gangs up and dumps out Kurrgan, the monster has been thrown out but Shamrock took the monster down.

 

Kurrgan has been Eliminated by Everyone!

 

Shamrock and Mero are battling one another, Bradshaw boots D’Lo. Rock knocks down Chainsaw and delivers his elbow. Number fifteen is Headbanger Thrasher, Bradshaw clotheslines Thrasher. Shamrock chants are circling around the arena, Shamrock should be clearing the ring to be honest. Mero is standing in the middle of the ring before 8-Ball smacks Mero around.

 

Number 16 to 20

 

Sixteen is Mankind, Chainsaw has been eliminated by the alter ego of Mick Foley!

 

Chainsaw Charlie has been Eliminated by Mankind!

 

Shamrock has been pummelling Rock in the corner, Mero is talking to Sable instead of wrestling while number seventeen is The Artist formerly known as Goldust. Mankind and Goldust are brawling, Goldust dumps out Mankind in probably the most surprising elimination of the night.

 

Mankind has been Eliminated by Goldust!

 

Number eighteen is Jeff Jarrett who returned to the WWF at the end of 97, big right hands everywhere in the rumble before Owen Hart batters Jarrett. The Black Hart has sprinted to the ring and destroys Jarrett with right hands, spinning heel kick from Owen on Jarrett. Owen continues to tee off on Jarrett, Jarrett thinks he dumps out Owen but Owen skins the cat and hurls out Jarrett for a massive pop! Number nineteen is The Honky Tonk Man!

 

Jeff Jarrett has been eliminated by Owen Hart!

 

Ken Shamrock has been eliminated by The Rock!

 

Owen Hart has been eliminated by Hunter Hearst Helmsley!

 

In a massive flurry of events, The Rock low-blows Ken Shamrock and dumps out The World’s Most Dangerous Man while Triple H comes down to ringside on crutches with Chyna. Chyna distracts Owen and it leads to Triple H eliminating Owen with the crutch to the back of the head.

 

Number 20 to 25

 

Number twenty is Ahmed Johnson who does not look happy to be there at all, the reaction says it all from the fans with no reaction whatsoever. Number twenty-one is Mark Henry, smiling and ready to kick some ass. D’Lo and Rock have quite the back-up now, Ahmed is getting blasted by D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry. Everyone is pairing off not doing much, kind of crazy Honky Tonk is in there considering his 2001 appearance is so memorable while brief whereas here he is competing and staying in there with nobody caring. Number twenty-two does not come out, there is no music and nobody appearing on the ramp. The fans act confused, Ahmed Johnson is dumped out by The Nation. Phineas is dumped out by Mark Henry.

 

Ahmed Johnson has been eliminated by The Nation!

 

Phineas Godwinn has been eliminated by Mark Henry!

 

D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry are brawling, why? Ahmed and Phineas battle their way to the back, why? Very strange circumstances as number twenty-three is Kama Mustafa. Bradshaw is clubbing everyone in sight,  Kama is battering D’Lo with nobody reacting which means nobody cares haha. Number twenty-four is Stone Cold Steve Austin! Everyone wants to batter Austin, Austin comes through the crowd to jump everyone. Mero and 8-Ball are gone!

 

Marc Mero & 8-Ball have been eliminated by Stone Cold Steve Austin!

 

Austin’s red-hot running through everyone phase doesn’t come, I am bitterly disappointed as we see Henry Godwinn at number twenty-five. Henry goes for Austin, stomping and choking The Rattlesnake! Austin almost dumps out Henry,  Nation members are brawling with one another which is a shock to nobody considering they wasted that tease way back.

 

Entrants 26 to 30

 

Savio Vega is number twenty-six but all Boricuas come for Austin, Austin dumps them all out except Savio. Mark Henry goes after Austin, Thrasher gives Austin an assist. Bradshaw is still roughing up everyone in sight, nothing interesting is going on as per usual though. Number twenty-seven is here it’s Faarooq. The ring has 5 Nation members in there, will Faarooq bring everyone together, Faarooq goes after Rock and all members of The Nation. Rock and Austin are not eliminated, they go through the middle ropes. They brawl on the outside with Austin being smashed into the steel steps. Number twenty-eight is Dude Love, Foley just cannot stop making appearances in this rumble. Dude dances his way to the ring and bumps out Bradshaw!

 

Bradshaw has been eliminated by Dude Love!

 

Rock nails D’Lo with The People’s Elbow which leads to Austin punching the face of The Rock, Austin chokes Rock with the ropes. Leg across the back from Austin, Austin continues to choke Rock before an eye poke stops that attack. Savio attacks Austin and number twenty-nine is Chainz, this is such a lacklustre roster I swear. Number thirty is Vader! Could we have a clear-out? I sure hope so because I am not loving this match too much! Vader starts clobbering people, Honky Tonk is dumped out by The Man They Call Vader!

 

Honky Tonk Man has been Eliminated by Vader!

 

Austin back-drops two men over, Kama Mustafa and Thrasher.

 

Kama Mustafa & Thrasher have been eliminated by Steve Austin!

 

Savio Vega has been Eliminated by Steve Austin!

 

Vader has been eliminated by Goldust!

 

Henry Godwinn has been eliminated by Dude Love!

 

Goldust has been Eliminated by Chainz!

 

Chainz has been eliminated by Steve Austin!

 

Mark Henry has been eliminated by The Rock!

 

Faarooq, Rock, Austin and Dude Love remain. Everyone is thrown out in such quick succession, we barely have time to process or react because it just goes by in a flash. Dude Love applies the mandible to Austin but Austin nails the low blow and Faarooq dumps out Dude Love before Faarooq goes after Austin but Rock dumps out Faarooq. Austin almost tosses out Rock before Rock holds on, Rock runs into a Stunner and Austin tosses out The Intercontinental Champion for the win!

 

Definitely one of the weakest rumbles I have seen, I hold 95 and 96 up there as very weak rumbles but 1998 be damned, the roster is not in a good way with the amount of reactionless individuals making it into this rumble. The format of big moments being spaced out or dream confrontations seems to be a non-factor at this time. You couldn’t pick out 3 memorable moments in there to be honest, I think Shamrock should have had a bigger role as well as The Black Hart considering that reaction for Owen when Jarrett was dumped out of that rumble. Rocky was the right choice to be the marathon man, not many wrestlers in there could even generate a reaction from the fans so right final two but as I said, a weak rumble that seemed to just drag on for most of the time before abruptly ending. It was setup for Austin or Vader to clear house with all those lower-card talent in there at the end but nope, it simply never came together as I had envisioned or believed it should have went. However, maybe I am spoiled by the more choreographed rumbles but definitely not the crowning moment you would want for The Rattlesnake, I’d argue 1997 was much more fun!

 

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin over Everyone Else!

 

(WWF Championship Casket Match) Shawn Michaels © vs The Undertaker

 

All beginning at Summerslam, these two have been on a collision path with Undertaker looking to destroy the arrogant Shawn Michaels! The two brawled at Ground Zero which setup the legendary Hell in a Cell match with the perfect ending to debut Kane. In a beautiful twist to this saga, D-Generation X wanted to make use of Kane but it appears that The Brothers of Destruction have been reunited. How could Shawn Michaels possibly survive Kane and Undertaker? A casket match, the speciality of The Deadman. It seems all the odds are stacked against the champion but HBK always has a trick or two up his sleeve so let’s see how this plays out.

 

Michaels uses his quickness before being caught, Michaels dodges again though and jabs at The Deadman. Taker shoves off HBK who comes back for more each time before getting caught again, Michaels goes to the knees and tees off again. Taker snatches Michaels out of thin-air but Michaels escapes once more, Taker back-drops Michaels onto the casket. A spot which would live on in infamy for how it would change wrestling in the WWF in the months to come. Taker military presses HBK and boots Michaels into the casket but Michaels scrambles out of the casket. Michaels avoids Taker again and again before eating a massive right hand, scoop slam from the challenger. Taker misses an elbow but sits-up, Michaels wants to work the arm but Taker is too big for that. Old School connects with Michaels looking like a beaten man already, Taker pummels HBK in the corner.

 

Michaels does his corner bump to the floor, hot-shot from HBK. HBK climbs high, diving crossbody is countered for a powerslam. Michaels is placed in the casket but Taker cannot close the lid, Michaels throws powder in the eyes of The Deadman. HBK goes to work with stinging jabs, Michaels rakes the eyes to avoid a chokeslam and lands a diving moonsault to wipe out Taker. Clothesline to the floor and Taker drags out Michaels who was skinning the cat. Taker is sent into the steel steps though by HBK, HBK piledrivers Taker on the steel steps. Hunter gets in a few crutch shots while Michaels recovers, Taker is battered with the crutch. Michaels grabs the chair, Taker is waffled in the spine. Michaels attempts to put Taker in the casket, Taker comes up though and smashes HBK back into the ring with Helmsley getting knocked down too.

 

Undertaker ducks his head off an Irish whip, big mistake as Michaels lands a neck-breaker! Sleeper from Michaels, brilliant strategy from the champion. Taker fights out but Michaels lands his flying forearm, Michaels is looking for his elbow drop. It lands right in the hot of Taker, Michaels calls for his finish. Sweet Chin Music almost decapitates The Deadman, Taker is rolled towards the casket. HBK tells Taker to suck it before Taker grabs Michaels by his balls, Taker is alive and kicking. Back body-drop for Michaels, whip to the buckle with Michaels bump and a clothesline. Big boot from Taker, Taker misses his flying clothesline. Michaels decides to nail an elbow drop into the casket, both men are in the casket so what happens now? Michaels is dragged into the casket with Taker, Taker pummels Michaels down. Chokeslam straight to Hell! Taker Tombstones Michaels into the casket, Chyna wipes out the referee while here comes The New Age Outlaws and The Boricuas to attack The Deadman. Fans scream for Kane, Kane’s music hits!

 

Ask and you shall receive boys and girls! From monster heel to gigantic babyface, panic is across the face of all involved as Kane steps into the ring. The Outlaws and Boricuas are decimated by The Big Red Machine, Taker is pulling himself to his feet. Kane decks his brother, battering The Phenom. Chokeslam into the casket and Michaels closes the casket, the champion retains before Kane brings the casket to the stage locking it on all sides and they light it on fire!

 

Michaels and Taker have fantastic chemistry, that’s no surprise as they always have had it and whether it was the brawl at Ground Zero, the iconic Hell in a Cell or even this match here gimmick of the casket and all, we get some awesome moments of wrestling between the two. Michaels was on top of his game and while I have not seen the Wrestlemania XIV match in quite some time, I think it is important to say that this might have been the last great match of Michael’s first run in the WWF and it’s such a shame his career was cut short by that bump on the casket because nobody was more on the ball/better than HBK in 1997 (Maybe Bret Hart but he’s not in the WWF anymore either). So, the match is entertaining as Michaels is so arrogant and you are just praying that Taker gets his hands on him and demolishes him which Taker does and then we have the heels putting the boots to Taker with Kane making the save, all good fun here and then, it all slows down with Kane’s attack on Taker, very poor in execution as Kane’s pyro fails him and I think this could have been a lot tighter and produced/co-ordinated more. Example: Taker and Kane synchronised Chokeslams before the pyro and Kane attacking his brother, something small like that which could have fed into the deceit or portrayed the angle better. Regardless, chickenshit Michaels survives again, building heat for his eventual demise and we get the lock of Taker vs Kane at Mania if Taker survives being murder which I have a sneaking suspicion that The Deadman will!

 

Winner: Shawn Michaels over Undertaker via Closing The Casket!

 

That was WWF’s Royal Rumble 1998, not the big kick-off to 1998 you would hope for. Usually I would be angered by a rumble not finishing the show, I think the drama and suspense and excitement that comes with a rumble is unrivalled when executed well but it was the right decision not to end the show with this rumble. However, let’s start at the beginning with Vader delivering one of his better performances in the WWF taking out the turncoat and very bizarre Goldust, went in thinking this would be a horrid affair and was pleasantly surprised. The mini-match was horrible, I thought it was a little fun the first time but as it has continued, I have grown progressively bored and angered by these matches, this match possibly being the last straw for me as it was utter garbage. LOD chasing the tag team titles is a story as old as time itself at this stage in the WWF, you never pulled the trigger at the right time and you make me watch DQs, count-outs and screwjobs galore and you know what? After the tenth time, it doesn’t even leave an implant on my mind it just rolls together like all the other times whether it be Godwinns, Bulldog and Owen or The New Age Outlaws, I just don’t think I can make myself care anymore, congratulations WWF I don’t care about LOD. Rocky vs Shamrock was decent, both men are over and the feud can continue so not the worst piece of business in history. The rumble is weak filled with wrestlers who just aren’t that interesting, imagine having Chainz in there as one of the last few wrestlers? Chainz! It was dull, no monster clearing house, no monster babyface tearing through everyone. Austin was not a house of fire who took out everyone, Shamrock, Owen and Vader were all dumped out before we had fun and even simple things like having The Nation gang up on everyone was screwed up as they battered one another within seconds of entering the ring. Imagine how much better had it been The Nation operating to take everyone out, Shamrock gaining revenge on Rocky for earlier, Austin actually dumping out lower-card talent in quick succession, Stunner after Stunner. It all seems so easy to book yet they messed it all up. Thankfully, Austin was so over that we can just forget that giant blur of nothing and enjoy Austin’s journey to the top. Meanwhile, the main event is Michaels vs Taker tearing it up and a dramatic ending that makes you want to watch RAW that next night. A weak card overall, not befitting of a Rumble but two important things do happen on this show and you can’t skip this one if you want to see Austin’s big win or the beginning of the end of Michaels’s career. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!