Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac's Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that needs a new gimmick more than Dolph Ziggler! WCW's Starrcade 2000, the biggest show of the year for WCW but can WCW deliver? It is almost a running gag by this point, WCW put on this pay per views with abysmal buyrates, give mediocre undercards and try to salvage the event on a championship match. Just to recap from last month, we have a new top star in Scott Steiner, half the roster is gone due to budget cuts, the card is littered with green, generic wrestlers and the wrestlers worth a damn have all feuded with one another before so there is no big matches that you can do that have not been done before. WCW must have been aware as the promo packages hypes up what are rematches from Mayhem..... This could be bad ladies and gentlemen but let's soldier on!
A lot of blue flames, a lot of big words, the main event is the surprise return of Sid Vicious against Scott Steiner, I like the story of brining in another psycho to battle Steiner but in terms of match quality, I cannot see this going that well.
(Ladder Match) Three Count vs The Jung Dragons vs Evan Karagias/Jamie Noble
The winner of this match will face Chavo Guerrero for the cruiserweight championship, this makes me mad if only for one reason, these teams have been battling forever. Three Count vs The Jung Dragons must be at least a four month feud by this point, the match is starting like a tag match. Kaz and Shannon begin, nice mat wrestling until Shannon botches a belly to belly on Kaz, that looked fucking brutal. Hurricanrana by Kaz, armdrag by Shannon, they run toward the ladder. Yang comes in as does Helms, Helms goes to the ladder, we have a lot of brawling while Three Count almost steal the win. The Jung Dragons stop Three Count, The Jung Dragons climb before Noble and Karagias cut off Yang & Kaz. Yang dropkicks the ladder onto Noble & Karahias, springboard moonsault on Kaz.
A ladder is wedged in the corner, Helms is drop toehold into the ladder, Kaz is flapjacked onto a ladder. Noble and Karagias begin fighting over who should win the contract, Karagias and Noble bang heads thanks to Yang. Gutbuster by Yang, corkscrew moonsault on Shannon. Helms hurls Yang to the floor, beautiful hilo by Helms. Tiger Space Moonsault by Kaz, springboard crossbody by Karagias, Asai Moonsault by Shannon. Noble is tipped from the ladder by Yang to the floor, Karagias back suplexes Yang. Kaz tries a powerslam but Karagias powerslams Kaz. Shannon nails a rocker dropper on Karagias, Helms and Noble climb to the ladder which is bridged across the top rope, neckbreaker by Helms to the mat.
Two ladders are setup side by side, Yang and Shannon are on one side while Helms and Noble are on the other side. Noble sunset flip powerbombs Helms, Shannon nails a neckbreaker off the ladder. Noble kicks Yang to the floor, Noble is climbing to the top but in comes The Jung Dragon's manager. Karagias has a massive ladder, Yang and Kaz nail a powerbomb combination manœuvre. The Jung Dragons nail a scaffold to stand atop the ladder without falling, Three Count hammer The Jung Dragons.
Kaz is smacked off the ladder and so is Yang, Three Count are left alone in the ring. Noble & Karagias attack Three Count, Helms is being stomped. Tombstone by Noble on Shannon, Kaz kicks Noble off the scaffold ladder. Karagias knocks off Kaz, Karagias is kicked off by Yang. Helms and Yang stand atop the scaffold, Shannon headscissors Yang down. Helms throws Noble off the scaffold, Three Count stand on the scaffold and pull down the contract together.
Fun match, they had been opening up pay per views and they had their match down to a tee by this point, you had dives and high spots off the ladder, it is no TLC but it warranted an inclusion on WWE's DVD of best ladder matches, the finish is smart too of the team to take down the contract together. Chavo is an awful heel though, least entertaining personality I have ever heard on commentary.
Winners: Three Count over Everyone Else via Retrieving The Contract!
Jarrett has a bunkhouse match, Duggan is convinced to rejoin Team Canada for a pay cheque. Kronik are in the sauna, someone hires them and they are ready to break necks.
Lance Storm W/ Major Gunns/Elix Skipper vs The Cat W/ Ms. Jones
Major Gunns looks awesome, Ms. Jones looks fantastic too. Poor Storm, it seems Storm is just like everyone else by this point. The Cat continues to steal the show on promos, the man has such a way with words. Lock-up, Storm asks for a break. Armdrag by The Cat, kicks and chops by The Cat. Gunns grabs The Cat's foot, Ms. Jones wants a piece of Gunns. Storm does not want catfights, this is not ECW. Storm jumps The Cat, clothesline by Storm who jaw-jacks with the fans. The Cat fires up, jawbreaker by Storm. Small package by The Cat for two, clothesline by Storm. Reverse chinlock by Storm, The Cat escapes and chops Storm, mule kick and a huge uppercut.
Skipper decks The Cat as The Cat hits the ropes to stop the feliner, The Cat bitch slaps Skipper so Storm makes the save. The Cat meets the guard rail three times, Ms. Jones nails the referee and Major Gunns dropkicks Ms. Jones. Major Gunns meets the guard rail, Storm nails a springboard dropkick, Skipper throws in the referee. The Cat nails Storm with three big kicks for two, northern lights suplex by Storm for two. Duggan is here, Duggan clotheslines The Cat into a Maple Leaf from Storm, Duggan is torn over his choice while Storm celebrates. The Cat saves Duggan after an assault from Team Canada.
A nothing match, I did not expect much to begin with when one of the members is The Cat, Ms. Jones and Major Gunns look fantastic though, Duggan added nothing to the match, I do not think anyone wants to see Duggan vs Storm.
Winner: Lance Storm over The Cat via Maple Leaf!
(WCW Hardcore Championship Match) Terry Funk vs Crowbar (C)
Terry Funk returns and attacks Crowbar backstage, Crowbar is brutalized on the floor. Funk throws Crowbar into a truck, Crowbar uses part of a car to attack Funk, Funk is bounced off the truck walls. Crowbar pulls down trash on Funk, Funk kicks out at two. Funk hiptosses Crowbar through a table, Daffney is cheering on Crowbar. Low blow by Crowbar, superkick by Crowbar. Car door to the head by Crowbar, Funk has a door closed on his head. Crowbar has handcuffs, low blow by Funk. Funk closes the door on Crowbar's head multiple times, Crowbar is handcuffed. Chair to the head by Funk, multiple chair shots by Funk. Funk smashes Crowbar with the car door, this is a poor rip-off of Foley vs Rock at Royal Rumble.
Funk has a table, Crowbar is almost helpless. Daffney continues to scream, Daffney saves Crowbar. Funk grabs Daffney, Crowbar saves Daffney. Chair shots to the head, Crowbar chokes Funk with his handcuffs, Crowbar bites the head of Funk. Funk is on the table, Crowbar nails a springboard splash through the table for two. Daffney has a chair, Funk eats a chair to the head, Funk kicks out again. Funk cracks Crowbar some more, Piledriver on the car door and this match is over.
Surprisingly brutal for a hardcore match, Funk always seems to bring legitimacy and a realism to everything he is a part of, the chair shots looked brutal but went on for far too long, it did seem like a poor man's Rock vs Mankind. The finish was cool though, piledrivers always look devastating especially on car doors. Not a great match by any stretch of imagination but one of the best hardcore matches put on by WCW.
Winner: Terry Funk over Crowbar via Piledriver!
Big Vito/Reno W/ Marie vs Kronik
The magic of Kronik is dead for me, truning them heels was ridiculous they could have been WCW's top babyface tag team kicking all sorts of ass but now they have a gimmick where they are mercenaries and only wrestle if they feel like it, it sucks all sorts of ass. Marie brought Vito and Reno together, Reno is beaten down by Kronik, double back elbow by Kronik. Vito saves Reno, right hands to Clark and Adams. Leg drop by Vito for two, tag to Reno. Neckbreaker by Vito, Reno covers for two. Tag to Vito, boot and butterfly suplex by Clark for two.
Vito superkicks Clark, Adams asks Marie for money. Vito is distracted, Clark wipes out Vito with a huge senton off the apron. Russian legsweep into the guard rail, Adams continues to ask Marie about the money. Clark uses a chair on Vito, Reno protects Vito. Vito dodges a fist from Adams, clothesline by Vito for two. Vito gets caught for the full-nelson slam, Reno saves Vito. Back suplex by Clark for two, reverse chinlock by Clark. The Natural Born Thrillers are here, Reno is arguing with the referee as Vito is double teamed by Kronik.
Dropkick by Adams, Kronik nail a double big boot. Vito fires up as both men bang heads off a crossbody. Reno gets the tag but Reno nails Vito with a Roll of The Dice and pins his partner? The referee counts the pin? How is that legal? Marie is distraught as The Natural Born Thrillers welcome back Reno. Reno paid Kronik, Clark drops Vito with a Meltdown.
Well, I never enjoyed Reno in the ring or his feud with Vito. So, I guess this is for all my sins as they are going to continue feuding, just another swerve that was unnecessary. If they wanted Reno to excel or grow as a wrestler, it was best for him to be protected in the tag team setting. Anyways, this match was pretty piss poor with a finish that makes you roll your eyes and say of course that happened.
Winners: Kronik over Reno & Big Vito via Roll of The Dice!
Mike Awesome vs Bam Bam Bigelow (Ambulance Match)
The 70s Guy was attacked by Bigelow at Mayhem, we did not get to see this match so we get to see it at Starrcade. Bigelow looks awful, balooning in weight since his time off, Awesome rushes in and clotheslines Bigelow to the floor. Bigelow sends Awesome bakc first into the ringpost, Awesome waffles Bigelow with the ringbell. Chair to the back by Awesome, Bigelow rakes the eyes and continues to assault Awesome with a chair. Awesome blocks the chair shot, they are by the ambulance. Bigelow slams Awesome's head with the door, Awesome low blows Bigelow. Bigelow recovers to send Awesome into the ambulance back doors, Bigelow puts his fist through the ambulance window.
Awesome slams Bigelow into the side of the ambulance, Bigelow returns the favour with Awesome hitting the windshield. Chair shots to the back by Bigelow, Bigelox clubs Awesome and DDTs Awesome in the middle of the ring. They brawl by the announce table, they brawl by the guard rail. Awesome wants a table, Bigelow back drops Awesome through the table in a spot that Stevie Wonder could have seen. They are on top of the ambulance, Awesome smacks Bigelow through the top of the ambulance and Awesome wins the match.
Good God, that match sucked all sorts of ass, spots that could be seen years in advance, you could hear the fans groan as they went to the ambulance and fought back to the ring, boring chants throughout most of the match. Bigelow is nowhere near ring shape, it is embarassing on so many levels, I could not care for this match if you forced me to, it was awful.
Winner: Mike Awesome over Bam Bam Bigelow!
(WCW United States Championship Match) Shane Douglas vs General Rection (C)
No Torrie? You motherfuckers, this is what makes Douglas wonderful. Douglas looks so weird clean shaven, Rection won the championship in anti-climatic fashion at Mayhem. I still not happy about this as Rection, the gimmick, the man and the angle suck, Rection is nowhere near that championship's level. If there is any justice, Douglas will be champion at the end of this match, Douglas stomps Rection over and over, clubbing blows to the back and a choke by Douglas. Chops by Douglas, Rection fires up Sting style no-selling everything that Douglas does, eye poke by Douglas but Rection fires back with a clothesline.
Douglas avoids a splash at first but Rection nails the second splash in the corner, Douglas spills out to the floor. Douglas is smacked across the announce table, Douglas suckers in Rection. Rection shakes it off until we see a blatant low blow, Rection continues to fight back Sting style, what is going on in this match? Bearhug by Rection, cover for two. Rection attempts his moonsault, Douglas was playing possum. Rection takes a tumble, snapover neckbreaker by Douglas, short piledriver by Douglas who poses for the fans. Swinging neckbreaker by Douglas, two for the challenger. Neck vice by Douglas, Rection mounts a comeback before eating a clothesline and multiple stomps.
Military press slam by Rection, right hands by Rection. Slam by Rection, Rection calls for the moonsault. No Laughing Matter misses, Douglas pulls out his chain, Douglas misses the chain shot and Rection delivers a back suplex. Chavo throws Douglas the chain, the referee catches Douglas which leads to a DQ! Douglas beats the piss out of Rection, Chavo decides to pull off Douglas which leads to Chavo being knocked out. Franchiser on both men.
I do not get it, did Chavo not act like a heel all night? Hadn't Chavo turned his back on MIA already? Why could Chavo hand the chain only to try and save Rection? I do not understand any of this, I thought it was clear and simple: Chavo was a heel but Chavo saving Rection makes no sense at all. DQ finish is weak too, you put over Rection strong over Storm and in his first defense, we have a DQ finish. DUD!
Winner: General Rection over Shane Douglas via DQ!
(Bunkhouse Brawl/Street Fight Match) Jeff Jarrett/The Harris Brothers vs The Filthy Animals W/ Tygress
I love when Jarrett is nowhere near the world championship, it lowers the possiblities of overbooked messes and bullshit which is a great plus for me. So, this feud came out of nowhere, Jarrett had problems with The Filthy Animals while The Harris Brothers are back on pay per view following doing nothing since their feud with Kronik, let us hope they grace me with one of their tremendous performances. Lots of trash cans, chairs and kendo sticks, difficult to follow as everyone is walking around hitting one another.
Jarrett is shoved into popcorn, some bronco busters by Mysterio, Jarrett blocks the bronco buster though. Low blow by Jarrett on Kidman, Jarrett is low blowed by Mysterio and Jarrett is chokeslammed through a bar. Don saves the match, Ron is bulldogged on a trash can. Mysterio nails an Arabian facebuster on Ron, Konnan whacks Don with a kendo stick. Elevated dropkick by Mysterio & Kidman, Jarrett eats a bulldog from Mysterio. Jarrett powerbombs Mysterio into a dumpster, Kidman crossbodies Jarrett for two. For whatever reason, the referee begins enforcing tag rules, sidewalk slam by Ron on Kidman for two. Double big boot by The Harris Brothers, dropkick by Jarrett on Kidman.
Kidman facebusters Ron, Don stops Kidman tagging Konnan. Tag to Jarrett, sleeper on Kidman. Kidman mounts a comeback, bulldog by Kidman. Konnan nails a rolling clothesline on everyone, K-Factor. H-Bomb by The Harris Brothers, Jarrett has a table. Mysterio knocks down everyone with a broom, Jarrett is on the table. Mysterio leaps into a H-Bomb, Kidman dropkicks Jarrett and lowbridges the Harris Brothers. Sky High and Unprettier, Kidman is cracked with a bottle going for the seven year itch, Stroke by Jarrett and Jarrett wins.
Very entertaining brawl, Jarrett away from the title or main events deliver for me. There was some really fun spots, Mysterio was a human highlight reel, the table and dumpster moments were quite memorable. Good stuff from these six, this and the ladder match have been better than most of what I have seen in the last five pay per views I have watched from WCW.
Winners: Jarrett/The Harris Brothers over The Filthy Animals via Stroke!
(WCW Tag Team Championship Match) The Insiders vs The Perfect Event (C)
The generic geeks won back the champions through cheating, we have a rematch tonight. Nahs and Palumbo start the match, it starts the exact same way with Palumbo cheap shotting Nash, Nash turns the tide with clotheslines, knees and elbows. Palumbo fires back with a clothesline, Nash dodges an elbow. DDP gets the tag and nails a clothesline for two, Palumbo powders and regroups with Sanders and Stasiak. Stasiak tags into the latch, DDP chops up Stasiak. Boot in the corner by Stasiak, DDP slides under the boot the second time and sends Stasiak groin first into the ringpost. Stasiak jumps on DDP as he enters the ring, Stasiak lays in the clubbing blows.
Belly to belly by DDP for two, chokeslam by DDP. Palumbo nails a Superkick on DDP, Palumbo hammers on DDP before tagging Stasiak. Back elbow for two, Stasiak tags back into the match, a lot of quick tags with Palumbo admiring his work. Palumbo taunts Nash, Stasiak chokes DDP behind the referee's back. DDP fires back, Palumbo smacks DDP in the back of the head, DDP lands on Stasiak's manhood. Right hands by DDP and a huge clothesline, DDP and Palumbo get into a fist fight with both men collapsing to the mat in exhaustion. Low blow by Palumbo, cheap shot to Nash.
DDP shakes off Palumbo though, tag to Nash. Big boots and sidewalk slams, clothesline for Stasiak to the floor. Big boot for Palumbo, Sanders low blows DDP. Stasiak clotheslines Nash for two, Stasiak has the belt and Nash is clocked in the face. DDP Diamond Cutters Stasiak, DDP pulls off Palumbo from pinning Nash. DDP hammers all The Natural Born Thrillers before O Haire nails a superkick on DDP. O Haire is crotched by DDP, Palumbo calls for the finish. Big boot by Nash, Jacknife Powerbomb and we have new tag team champions.
It is a carbon-copy of the match from Mayhem and I am totally ok with that because it is another good match on this card. They had the match they wanted to do, they did, the crowd erupts for Nash's hot-tag, DDP built the sympathy and they were waiting for that Diamond Cutter and Jacknife, the fans received exactly what they wanted. No complaints from me.
Winners: The Insiders over The Perfect Event via Jacknife Powerbomb!
Goldberg vs Lex Luger
Rematch time, it starts on the floor with Goldberg attacking Luger by the announce table, Goldberg introduces Luger to the guard rail. Clothesline by Goldberg, make it two. Butterfly suplex by Goldberg, powerslam by Goldberg. Lugers tries bailing, Goldberg does not allow it as Luger is pummelled around the ring. Luger sends Goldberg into the ringpost, Luger has a chair. Goldberg avoids the chair, Bagwell and Sarge are here on the ramp. Flying shoulder block by Goldberg, Bagwell pulls away the referee. Sarge eats the brass knuckles as does Goldberg. Luger covers for two, Bagwell is in the ring. Bagwell misses Luger and Blockbusters Goldberg, Luger calls for the rack. Neckbreaker on Luger, Bagwell decks Sarge. Spear on Luger, Jackahmmer and the match is over. Bagwell cracks Goldberg with the chair.
Why did Bagwell wait until Luger was pinned if they were no disqualifications in the match. Luger and Bagwell are together even though Luger tossed Bagwell out of the ring? They go all out to convince you there will be no swerves right? Goldberg stands right up after Bagwell's heel turn, poor Bagwell that is another turn I believe in this year for him. Another squash level match though, I am just not interested like I was when the streak originally began.
Winner: Goldberg over Lex Luger via Jackhammer!
(WCW World Championship Match) Scott Steiner (C) W/ Midajah vs Sid Vicious
Sid made his return to WCW after never losing his championship, Sid is absolutely massive but always seemed to be jumping ship between the two companies, Sid should have been a bigger star but maybe Sid's business sense was not the best. Anyways, this feels like a massive match and this would be a crazy way to establish Steiner as the top man. Would Sid lay down in his first match back on pay per view though?
Lock-up, beat down by Steiner. Sid hammers back with right hands, ten punches by Sid. Clotheslines by Sid and a sidewalk slam for nothing, Steiner powders quickly. Steiner poses and wants a test of strength, they lock hands with Steiner showing his strength. Sid powers up and throws Steiner down for two. Leg drop by Sid for two, big boot by Sid. Steiner is clotheslined to the floor, Midajah cracks Sid with the lead pipe. Steiner has a steel chair, Sid is smashed across the throat by Steiner. Clothesline and theatrical elbow by the champion, backbreaker by Steiner. Chops by Steiner, Sid eats a belly to belly suplex. Steiner Recliner, Sid reaches the ropes.
Suplex by Steiner, Steiner Recliner for a second time. Midajah crossbodies Steiner as Sid ducks, Chokeslam by Sid. Steiner kicks out at two, cobra clutch slam by Sid. Steiner slapped the referee as he went down, Midajah distracts Sid. Lead pipe to the back, Steiner covers but Sid is still in the match. Here is Jarrett, Jarrett cracks Steiner by mistake as Sid ducks, Jarrett pulls out the referee. Low blow by Steiner, make it two. Exploder suplex and a Steiner Recliner. Sid passes out as Steiner retains!
Overbooked nonsense and somehow Jarrett had to be involved, can't that man just leave me alone? I enjoyed Sid and Steiner throwing each other around, it has a monster vs monster quality to it and you rarely see either man off his feet which makes it even better. The lead pipes, referee bumps etc were all bullshit, common stables of WCW main events throughout the year which ruin most of my enjoyment of these shows. A boring ending to the biggest show of the year for WCW.
Winner: Scott Steiner over Sid Vicious via Steiner Recliner!
That was WCW's Starrcade 2000, one of the better shows if not the best show that WCW produced in 2000. People did work harder for Starrcade, they should have done so if it is their Wrestlemania. The bunkhouse brawl and the ladder match delivered, they were very entertaining. Much of the card let me down like Rection vs Douglas, Goldberg and Luger and The Cat vs Lance Storm. The tag team championship match was quite good, they knew what they do to work the crowd but the main event left much to be desired, too much overbooking when Steiner should be a different champion to Jarrett. Steiner is your monster, let Steiner run over everyone and be that monster instead of someone who needs Jarrett, Midajah and all that nonsense. Thanks for reading and remember: There's always another night!