Hello and
welcome to another fourth-wall breaking edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling
Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that has a worse
reputation that Sexy Star! I know, it’s been a while. A long time since I have
looked at TNA, I got so caught up in WWE with Cena at the helm and the fall of
WCW, it led to some neglect on Jarrett’s promotion. Well, have no fear as I
return with TNA’s Final Resolution 2006. The big talking point of this night is
that Sting is back! Sting is in Christian Cage’s corner to battle Monty Brown
and Jeff Jarrett. We also have Team 3D and AMW slugging it out for the tag team
championships and Raven continues to be tested by the ghosts of his past. Will
it kick ass? Let’s find out!
Opening Promo
Brown and Jarrett
talk shit about Sting, Sting is too old. Sting will be destroyed by Jarrett and
Brown, we get glimpses of Sting. You have babyfaces like Sabin, Styles, Dutt
and Christian talking about The Icon Sting.
Austin Aries/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs Matt Bentley/Sonjay
Dutt/Chris Sabin
ROH stars
Strong and Aries are in the corner of Shelley while we have the backbone of the
X Division in Sabin, Dutt and Bentley who surprises me with his popularity.
This is going to be your fast-paced flippy-insane match. Shelley and Sabin
start, Shelley rake Sabin. Sabin leapfrogs Shelley, kick to the face. Arm drag,
snapmare and dropkick to the back of the head. Sabin tags Dutt, tag team
moonsault for two. Shelley bites Dutt, tag to Strong. Armdrag by Dutt, make it two.
Armbar from Dutt, tag to Bentley.
Rights by
Bentley, more arm drags from Bentley. Strong stomps on Bentley’s toes, Aries is
in the match. Aries is pounded by the heels, exploder suplex by Bentley for
two. Tag to Dutt, Aries elevates Dutt to the apron. Dutt looks for the
sprinkler, Strong crotches Dutt. Triple team neckbreaker/double stomp
combination for two. Dave Hebnar is in the crowd for some reason, butterfly
suplex by Strong for two. Tag to Aries, back rake from Aries. Back suplex for
two, Dutt eats kicks to the ribs. Strong throws Dutt to the floor, Strong
stomps Dutt and here comes Jerry Lynn watching the match. Sick Kick by Strong,
slingshot hilo by Shelley. Rings of Saturn from Shelley, kick to the head by
Shelley. Tag to Strong, Dutt is lifted into the air and smacked to the ground.
Strong
forearms Dutt down, DDT by Dutt. Sabin gets the tag, superkick for Shelley.
Hurricanrana, boot in the corner. Shelley is in the tree of woe, baseball
dropkicks. Aries is tripped into Shelley, Sabin nails a spinning DDT on Strong.
Enzuigiri for Shelley, Shelley escapes the cradle shock. Enzuigiri again by
Sabin, Bentley nails an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Strong on Bentley,
Dutt nails Strong with an Asai DDT. Aries pushes Dutt off the top rope, Sabin
pushes Aries to the floor. Sabin nails Aries with a suicide dive, Shelley and
Bentley square off.
Complete
shot by Bentley, Strong Sick Kicks Bentley. Traci Brooks argues with Strong,
Bentley Superkicks Strong to save Traci but out of nowhere, comes Shelley with
a roll-up and a handful of tights, Shelley sneaks out of the ring after victory
is assured.
Decent
match, not the fast-paced madness I expected from these six, it was tame for
them when you think about the whole thing. It was your standard TNA X Division
match though, it is hard to even call it anything different as I am sure I have
seen this type of match hundreds of times while covering these TNA pay per
views.
Winners:
Team Shelley over Team Sabin via Handful of Tights!
Diamonds In The Rough W/ Simon Diamond vs The James Gang
The appeal
of this match is The New Age Outlaws are finally back together after months and
months of teasing. BG James and Kip James joined forces as Konnan kicked the
two out of The 3-Live Kru. Konnan had distrusted Kip from the beginning but Kip
had proved to be good and not rotten like Konnan has assumed. So, we have The
Diamonds in The Rough as cannon-fodder. Skipper shoulder blocks and keylocks
BG, side headlock and another shoulder block. Knee by Skipper, BG ducks and
nails his jabs. Knee drop for two, Skipper bridges out of the cover and we have
a tag to Kip James.
Young and
Kip lock-up, clean break from Kip. Side headlock by Kip, shoulder block and
neither man go down. Young eats a kick to the head and a right hand, Japanese
arm drag by Kip. BG clotheslines Skipper and Young to the floor while Diamond
screams encouragement at the two. Skipper and Young bang heads, Diamond
distracts Kip. Skipper misses his cue (Yes, the streak lives) and BG waffles
Skipper which leads to a spinebuster from Young.
Snapmare and
kick by Skipper, Skipper talks trash before covering for two. Tag to Young, drop
toehold and dropkick combination for two. Scoop slam, Young misses a moonsault.
Tag to Kip James, right hands all around. Powerslam to Young, Diamond is decked
by Kip. Kip misses a stinger splash, slingshot clothesline by Skipper for two.
Young throws BG to the floor, Skipper looks for the play of the day, Kip James
counters for The One and Only, The James Gang win.
Crowd was
dead once the match started, BG sells his ass off like usual which is a plus
but this match meant nothing. It was just there to fill time, I cannot say much
more about it, I am struggling for words. This is such a slow start to a TNA
pay per view, I am not used to this kind of thing.
Winners:
The James Gang over The Diamonds in The Rough via One & Only!
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs AJ Styles
Sweet Jesus,
it is Hiroshi Tanahashi. The Ace of The Universe, the man who would lift NJPW
out of the slum that Inokism put the company in, there are few better than this
man. Tanahashi had been building his reputation in NJPW and also in Noah after
facing the likes of Kobashi and Takeshi Rikio.
Anyways,
enough of me orgasming over Tanahashi, this should be awesome. Lock-up,
armwringer but Styles has a hammerlock. Mule kick and armdrag by Tanahashi,
Styles arm drags back. Fujiwara armbar by Tanahashi, elbows by Styles. Dropkick
from Styles, Tanahashi avoids a tope with Styles taunting in the ring.
Tanahashi takes a breather, war of elbows and chops with Styles slamming
Tanahashi. Knee drop for two, elbows by Tanahashi and a huge German suplex. Shoulder
block and sentons for two, abdominal stretch by Tanahashi. Sleeper by
Tanahashi, transition into the Dragon Sleeper. Styles is swung around before a
swing using The Dragon Sleeper into a final cut. Two for Tanahashi, scoop slam
by Tanahashi. Styles dodges an elbow, enzuigiri from Styles.
Clotheslines
by Styles, Tanahashi ducks a clothesline and places Styles on the apron. Styles
counters for a Phenomenal Forearm, suplex into a neckbreaker for two by Styles.
Tanahashi boots away Styles, Styles elbows Tanahashi. Tanahashi has Styles for
a huge full-nelson slam, two for Tanahashi. Tanahashi has a sleeper, enzuigiri
and slingblade by Tanahashi. Two for Tanahashi, Tanahashi places Styles on the
top rope. Headbutts by Tanahashi, Styles floats over on the back suplex. Both
men crash with a thud, Styles blocks the dragon suplex. Shannon Moore hits
Tanahashi with the plaque. Styles knocks out Moore with a kick and Styles wins
with a Styles Clash.
Bullshit,
Styles’ body language at the end of the match says it all. That was such a
garbage end, Tanahashi was such a huge star even at that time and a clean win
for Styles would do great things even when Styles had already accomplished so
much in his TNA career. You could also have had Tanahashi go over Styles and
make more of Tanahashi in TNA but that was the worst decision they could have
made with Shannon Moore. Shannon fucking Moore’s feud is more important than a
clean finish to Styles and Tanahashi? Fuck right off!
Winner: AJ
Styles over Hiroshi Tanahashi via Styles Clash!
Raven vs Sean Waltman
One of the
more engrossing storylines in TNA at the time, Raven won the world
championship. Zbyszko was not happy with the rebel Raven as champion, Raven
lost the championship under dubious circumstances, Zbyszko as commissioner did
not allow Raven a rematch. Zbyszko continues to screw Raven by bringing up
ghosts from Raven’s past, this is do or die for Raven as Raven will be fired if
he loses this match. Waltman comes out which is funny as these two had battle
before on pay per view when Jeff Hardy no showed a pay per view and Waltman was
announced as the replacement. Waltman also had a feud with Jerry Lynn cut
short, no idea why though.
Waltman
cracks Raven with a trash can as Raven was distracted by Zbyszko, kendo stick
shots by Waltman. Raven decks Waltman with a trash can lid, both men end up on
the floor as Zbyszko talks trash to Raven. Raven is bleeding, no surprise
there. Waltman topes onto Raven and Zbyszko’s security, Waltman rams Raven with
a shopping trolley. Raven wallops Waltman with a trash can lid and pushes
Waltman off the stage in the trolley. Raven grabs a table and a ladder, Raven
clotheslines the referee by mistake. Even Flow DDT but there is no referee,
Zbyszko comes in as referee. Ten punches by Raven, low blow by Waltman and an
X-Factor. Two for Waltman, Raven is whipped with a belt.
Dave Hebnar
is watching the match, Waltman misses the bronco buster. Zbyszko counts two for
Raven, very slowly. Raven sets up a table and ladder, Raven drags Waltman up
the ladder. Zbyszko distracts Raven, low blow by Waltman and an X-Factor off
the ladder through a table. Zbyszko counts the three despite Raven’s foot on
the rope, Raven loses the match.
Fun angle,
the action in the ring not so much. Typical garbage style match from Raven,
Raven gets colour seconds into the match. Waltman does not add much to the
match, the fun comes with Zbyszko’s officiating. The finish is a little
difficult to swallow too with there being no DQ throughout the match as weapons
were allowed which means there would be no such thing as a rope break. How can
there be rope breaks in a match with no rules?
Winner:
Sean Waltman over Raven via Shenanigans!
Ron The Truth Killings Promo/ Raven leaves!
Ron is interrupted by Konnan who is leading
LAX, I guess Bobby Roode is not important at the minute. Zbyszko makes fun of
Raven who is leaving the arena, Jackie Gayda is here. Gayda has massive
breasts, I have no idea what this is about. That was weird, I assume Gayda was
fired in storyline and we will see something happen soon enough.
Bobby Roode W/ Scott D’Amore vs Ron The Truth Killings
Killings had
embarrassed Roode on two occasions, Roode wants revenge. Always felt that
Killings was wasted in The 3-Live Kru, roll-up attempt by Killings for two.
O’Connor roll for two, Roode powders to regain his composure. Drop toehold but
Roode counters for a hammerlock. Side headlock by Killings, pin for two. Roode
tries a backslide, side headlock by Roode. Sunset flip by Killings for two,
multiple pin attempts by both for two. Roode thins about leaving, tope con hilo
by Killings. Roode gains control as Killings is distracted by D’Amore which
leads to Roode slamming Killings into the ringpost.
Roode beats
down Killings in the ring, abdominal stretch by Roode. Roode uses D’Amore for
leverage, roll-up by Killings for two. Knee by Roode for two, waistlock by
Roode. Roode whips Killings to the corner, boot by Killings. Missile dropkick,
Killings comes back with the Lie Detector. Roode is pushed into the corner, leg
lariat by Killings. Two for Killings, Roode front suplexes Killings off the
middle rope. Crossbody with Killings rolling through for two, Konnan is here.
Killings spots Konnan, Roode nails his Lariat and this match is over.
It was fine,
Team Canada had run its course in many ways. There was nothing more they could
do, they have fought everyone, done every despicable act and lowered themselves
to comedy when the time was right. The act was no longer fresh and the
storyline of conflict between The 3-Live Kru was old months ago, we just have
Killings as conflicted instead of BG James. Also, it is hilarious to think LAX
originally had Apolo as a member.
Winner:
Bobby Roode over Ron Killings via Lariat!
James Mitchell Promo
Mitchell
owns the hell out of this promo calling Rhino out of his depth and unfocused
due to his divorce and his daughter. Abyss is coming to town and it looks like
it is curtains for The Man-Beast Rhino.
Rhino vs Abyss
Rhino had
been fucked around mostly since joining TNA, Rhino had been champion for a cup
of coffee and ran over by The Jarrett Train. Rhino is now fighting for the love
of his family and his precious little daughter, Abyss was hired by Team Canada
to take care of Rhino. The appeal of this match is Rhino is a tough bastard and
might be nasty enough to wipe out Abyss.
Rhino runs
down and pummels Abyss, the two trade blows. More rights by Rhino, clothesline
by Rhino. Rhino clotheslines Abyss to the floor, plancha by Rhino. Abyss brawls
back into the match, chairs. Rhino is cracked across the back, Rhino snapmares
and dropkicks Abyss for two. Hard Irish whip by Abyss, Abyss wedges a chair in
the middle rope. Rhino is sent head first into the chair, foot choke by Abyss.
Neck vice by Abyss, Rhino fights out and nails a massive TKO. Corner spear and
chair shot by Rhino, Abyss staggers around the ring.
Another
chair shot, Rhino sets up for The Gore. Mitchell distracts Rhino, Abyss hits
Rhino with a chain behind the referee’s back. Two for Abyss, Doomsday screams
Mitchell. Spinebuster by Rhino for two, Rhino wants a Rhino Driver. Mitchell
saves Abyss again, Rhino blocks a chokeslam with a low blow but Abyss nails The
Black Hole Slam on the steel chairs.
Why did
Abyss need to use the chain behind the referee’s back if there is constant
interference and steel chair shots? No idea, it was mostly an average match.
Neither man is known for lighting up the ring with their wrestling, this match
reflects that statement.
Winner:
Abyss over Rhino via Black Hole Slam!
Team 3D Promo
Bubba talks
about great tag teams while putting over the fact that they have never been NWA
tag team champions. D-Von puts a little sizzle on the steak at the end, best
promo of the night so far.
(TNA/NWA Tag Team Championship Match) AMW © W/ Gail Kim vs
Team 3D
AMW had laid
out Team 3D when they came to TNA, Team 3D gained a measure of revenge when
they defeated the champions in a tornado tag table match but this time, the
championships are on the line. Lock-up with Devon and Storm, clean break. Storm
takes the back, Devon takes down Storm. Side headlock by Storm, shoulder block
by Storm. Devon nails a hiptoss and a dropkick, Storm and Devon have a
stand-off. Harris cheap shots Devon, tag to Harris. Devon nails a double
clothesline, Ray is in the match. Hiptoss, scoop slam and elbows, right hands
to the head of Harris for two. Flying clothesline by Harris for two, lock-up
with Ray pushing back Harris.
Both trade
chops, Ray misses a middle rope senton. Storm comes in, clothesline and knee
across the throat. Storm chokes Ray with his wristtape, tag to Harris. Ray elevates
Harris to the floor, right hand to Storm. Tag to Devon, spinning elbow and
neckbreaker for two. Spinebuster by Devon for two, Ray slams Storm. What’s Up
Headbutt on Storm, Team 3D have a table but Storm tries a baseball slide. Storm
is taken out by a table to the face, Harris nails the baseball slide though.
Storm wants a powerbomb through the table, Ray saves Devon. Harris chokes Devon
in the ring, tag to Storm who nails a knee drop and applies a reverse chinlock.
Tag to Harris, Harris misses a corner spear while Devon takes down Storm.
Tag to Ray, hiptoss and back body drop for the
champions. Double clothesline and sidewalk slam for two, Ray is clubbed in the
back by Storm. Harris nails Storm by mistake, DDT for two as Storm saves the
titles. Harris suplexes Devon, Hart Attack by AMW on Ray for two. Double suplex
on Devon, Devon recovers to stop a Death Sentence on Ray. Harris and Devon
battle on the top rope, Ray clubs Harris. Dudley Doomsday Device for two, Ray
throws Storm to the floor.
Storm has a
chair, Harris is calling for Storm. Storm hits Harris by mistake, Reverse 3D
for two. Storm Superkicks Devon, Ray pummels Storm. Storm kicks off Ray, Ray
shoves Storm off the top rope through a table. Roll-up by Ray for two, Gail Kim
is in the ring. Ray knocks the powder into the referee’s eyes, Gail’s eyes and
Harris’s eyes. 3D and Team 3D win the match. Team Canada attack Team 3D and
place Harris on Ray, the referee could not see and declare AMW the champions.
That would
have been a clever finish if Team 3D did not have their music play when they
won or the fact that the announcers and the ring announcer saw Team 3D win the
match. I am all for suspending my beliefs while watching wrestling but you are
telling me that the ring announcer could not tell the referee who won the match?
I was not a fan of all the false-finishes too, seems way too much like the main
event scene in TNA and it does my nut in when TNA tries to make every match
seem like a Wrestlemania calibre match. Finally, Bubba looks awful in a t shirt
and jeans, might be at his heaviest here and it’s kind of a disgrace to be in
that shape when you are trying to prove the WWE wrong.
Winners AMW
over Team 3D via Shenanigans!
(TNA X-Division Championship Match) Samoa Joe © vs
Christopher Daniels
This match
was born out of a terrible face turn for Daniels, Daniels and Joe competed in
an eight-man tag match which they won, Joe beat the piss out of cocky heel
Daniels and instead of evoking sympathy, the place erupted which Daniels felt
would happen and warned management against the move. Anyways, Daniels is back
for revenge and out to win the championship.
Daniels
dodges Joe to begin, Joe begins throwing kicks which Daniels dodges. Forearms
before Joe uses knees to slow Daniels. Forearm by Daniels, high knee in the
corner, Joe eats uppercuts and shots to the ribs. Arm drags, tilt-a-whirl
headscissors. Hurricanrana and Joe is down, Joe dodges a leg lariat. Huge kicks
from Joe, Joe chops Daniels in the corner. Daniels tries rolls-up for two, Joe
catches Daniel for a surfboard style armbar. Daniels reaches the ropes, Daniels
misses a springboard moonsault. Boot by Joe, Daniels is stomped in the corner.
Chop, kick and knee drop combination for two, Joe continues to kick the back
out of Daniels. More chops in the corner, Daniels tries forearms and dropkicks
but Joe still stands. Powerslam by Joe, Daniels catches an oncoming Joe with a
huge facebreaker.
STO by
Daniels, split-legged moonsault for two. Joe is placed on the top rope, Daniels
drops Joe with a death valley driver for two.
Joe powerbombs Daniels for two, Daniels takes down Joe before being caught
in a triangle choke. Joe transitions to an STF, Daniels reaches the ropes. Joe
goes for ten punches, Daniels wants a powerbomb but Joe nails a hurricanrana
and delivers a sickening lariat for two. Uranage by Daniels, BME for two. Joe
rolls to the floor, Joe blocks a split-legged moonsault. Daniels kicks Joe’s
head off, slingshot elbow drop by Daniels. Daniels tries re-entering the ring
but Joe boots Daniel to the floor. Daniels is placed on a chair at ringside,
huge boot by Joe.
Daniels is
bleeding, Joe elbows the shit out of that cut. AJ Styles has seen enough,
motivating his friend Styles. Joe pounds away on Daniels, Daniels slaps back.
Angel’s Wing attempt, huge enzuigiri by Joe. Knee in the corner, Joe has the
set-up. Muscle Buster by Joe, Daniels reaches the rope before the Coquina
Clutch. Joe has the chair, Joe wants a Muscle Buster on the chair. Joe plants
Daniels, no DQ? Joe kicks Daniels in the head over and over, huge knees to the
head. Styles throws in the towel, Styles saves Daniels from certain injury.
Now, that
delivered. That is the first time I have said that about this pay per view, I
liked the heart of Daniels throwing everything at Joe but Joe being too strong
and systematically destroying The Fallen Angel. Daniels was tortured by Joe and
Styles had to save his friend by throwing in the towel. Was not a huge fan of
the Muscle Buster on the chair, that should have been a DQ, the refereeing on
this show has been poor. However, that finish was great with Joe laying in
those knees, Daniels sold it perfectly. Do not know where they are going as
these guys have had a triple threat before, who will dethrone Joe? Either way,
I am looking forward to all of it.
Winner:
Samoa Joe over Christopher Daniels via TKO!
Monty Brown & Jeff Jarrett vs Christian Cage & Sting
It is all
about Sting, Christian came to TNA and talked about winning the championship.
Thought we were going there but we have a slight detour with Sting coming in
which should have popped a huge rating I am sure for those in TNA.
Brown
shoulder blocks Christian, Christian applies a roll-up for two. Brown clubs
down Christian, tag to Double J. Jarrett whips Christian, Christian mocks Jarrett
and drop toeholds Double J. Christian tags Sting, side headlock and shoulder
block by Sting. Hiptoss by Sting and a dropkick, Jarrett powders. Brown talks
strategy with the champion, the crowd chants you still got it at Sting. Jarrett
pounds away at Sting, Sting is bounced off the turnbuckle. Sting facebusters
Jarrett, Brown comes in for his own facebuster. Christian splashes Brown and
Jarrett, ten punches by Christian. Gail Kim distracts the referee, Jarrett low
blows Christian and Christian is tossed to the floor. Gail Kim nails Christian
with a hurricanrana off the apron, Brown drops Christian on the guard rail.
Christian
eats a backbreaker and a t-bone suplex, two for Brown. Tag to Jarrett, Jarrett
misses big time but Brown punches down Christian. Front chancery by Jarrett,
Brown distracts the referee so Sting’s tag is not seen. Brown and Jarrett drop
Christian across the top rope, suplex by Christian for two. Brown has Christian
on the apron, Christian bites off Brown. Frog Splash by Christian, Christian
gets two and Jarrett pulls Sting off the apron. Christian looks for the tag and
nobody is home, Brown throws down Christian. Jarrett has two chairs, they look
for a conchairto. Christian DDTs both Brown and Jarrett. Hot-tag to Sting,
Sting pounds everything in sight. Stinger Splashe for Jarrett, Brown
clotheslines the referee by mistake.
Sting has
Jarrett for The Scorpion Death Lock, Jarrett taps in the middle of the ring. Christian
keeps away Brown before Brown slams Christian into Sting. Sting and Christian
have words, Brown has the championship. Christian saves Sting from the
championship, Brown is sent to the floor. Christian and Sting have words,
Jarrett is on the top rope. Sting crotches Jarrett, Brown’s head is rammed into
Jarrett’s balls. Team Canada are ringside, Sting and Christian lay out Team
Canada. Christian dives onto Brown, Jarrett has the championship and Sting is
waffled in the face. 1…….2……..Sting kicks out at two and a half!
Jarrett
looks on in shock, Brown throws Christian in the ring. Sting is stomped by the
two, Brown pummels Christian. Sting begins to shake off Jarrett’s punches,
Sting throws bombs. Both miss splashes, Jarrett has his guitar but Sting has
his bat. Sting destroys the guitar, Brown is on the floor. Bat to the ribs and
a huge Scorpion Death Drop, Sting and Christian win the match.
Entertaining
tag team match, much more drama here than the tag team championship match which
is understandable, those in the main event would not want to be overshadowed by
the champions. Sting was mad over, crazy to think that after 5 years since the
death of WCW, Sting would still be as beloved. Very good tag team match with a
classic feel, Jarrett could be great when he wanted to be in the ring. Not too
much spotlight stealing, he knew that Sting was the man and Sting was allowed
to do his thing, a good end to an otherwise poor night.
Winners:
Sting & Christian over Brown & Jarrett via Scorpion Death Drop!
That was TNA’s
Final Resolution of 2006, one of the poorer TNA shows I have had to review for
this website. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but it does not
apply to this show sadly. I just found myself bored by most of the show or
horribly disappointed, the likes of the X-Division opener, Raven’s match and
the New Age Outlaws reunion had me thinking it is all so similar to everything
I have seen from TNA. Raven being busted open is not new or using weapons, the
story has me hooked though. How many times can I watch an X- Division multi-man
match and pick them apart? They are all so similar, BG and Kip have wrestled
the same match for years, they have it down to a tee.
Abyss and
Rhino was disappointing for such a promising match, they are two big bears
going at it, it should be stiff in all the right ways but it was so flat.
Tanahashi and Styles could have been special yet I am watching Shannon Moore
steal a plaque from Styles which upset Styles so much that it looks lie even he
tried to distance himself from that trash by getting involved in the Joe vs
Daniels storyline. Joe vs Daniels was great story-telling and Sting’s return
was a hell of a lot of fun but this show was a tough sit-through at times with
no life to a lot of the matches. Thanks for reading and remember: There’s
always another night!
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