Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series that continues to be more inconsistent than an episode of Dynamite! It’s WWE Breaking Point 2009, a PPV built around the concept of quitting and submitting, think of TNA’s Lockdown PPV except instead of cages, we are going to have submission matches. What has happened since the last PPV? Undertaker returned and is looking to destroy CM Punk, John Cena continues to chase after Randy Orton for the WWE Championship and Legacy look to wipe out DX! Other championship matches include the unified tag team championships being defended and the United States Championship too! Without further ado, it’s time for a review!
(WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match)
Jeri-Show © vs Mark Henry & MVP
Still not happy about it but we have Chris Jericho
slumming it in the tag team division after a fantastic start to early 2009
feuding with Steamboat & Mysterio, Jericho and Show defeated the likes of
Legacy, Cryme Time and now they face MVP & Henry. Henry had a very fun on
ECW, feuding with the likes of Matt Hardy and Tommy Dreamer but now Henry is a
big smiling babyface which is usually when Henry is at his absolute worst.
MVP & Jericho to start, MVP has a victory over
Jericho. Jericho is cautious of locking up with MVP who is throwing kicks. They
lock-up and go to the corner, clean break from MVP. Jericho is not happy,
shoving match before MVP tees off with right hands. Hip-toss into a cover for
two, Henry smacks Jericho. To the buckle and shoulder thrusts from MVP, slap
from Jericho after hiding behind the referee. MVP drop toeholds Jericho,
swinging neck-breaker for two. Tag to Henry, Jericho rolls away and brings in
Big Show. Two giants staring one another down, neither man can throw the other.
Show suckers in Henry, big gut punches before Show tries a splash. Henry
catches Show and throws him to the corner, whip to the opposite buckle.
Running corner splash by Henry, Henry almost nails the
slam but Jericho interferes, Show drops onto Henry for two. Gut punches by
Show, corner kicks and Jericho chokes Henry behind the referee’s back. Foot
choke by Show, clubbing blows by Show. Tag to Jericho, kicks to the thigh.
Henry shoves Jericho away but Jericho continues to attack, tag to Show. Show
goes for an Irish whip and Henry answers back with a clothesline, both men are
down. Tag to MVP, belly to belly and an elbow by MVP. MVP leaps over Jericho,
flying clothesline and a face-buster. Ballin’ Elbow from MVP for two, Jericho
is up and looks for The Walls but MVP counters using his leg-strength. MVP
lands a big boot but Jericho had blind-tagged Show who cuts MVP in half with a
spear.
Headbutt by Show, front chancery from Show. Clubbing
blows from Show, tag to Jericho. Jericho kicks and shoves MVP, kicks to the
ribs. Sleeper from Jericho but MVP fights out, Jericho cuts off MVP. To the
corner, Jericho stomps and chokes MVP. Jericho looks for a hip-toss but MVP
flips out and lands a massive DDT. Henry gets the hot-tag, clothesline. Jericho
tries a middle rope crossbody but Henry counters with a gorilla press slam and
a splash before Show makes the save. Show & MVP spill to the floor, Jericho
gets hit with a body splash. Jericho places his foot on the ropes to survive, Irish
whip and Jericho kicks Henry in the head. Code-breaker is countered with a huge
shove, referee is with Jericho who is clutching his knees. Show lands the KO
Punch from the apron and Jericho crawls into the cover for the win.
Crowd helps this one a lot because this is not my idea
of a hot opening match at all, I still feel it is a waste of Jericho during
this period but if they want to try and make the division feel important, you
can’t go wrong but using one of the most over guys on the roster in that spot.
MVP is surprisingly still very popular considering his career trajectory, I am
shocked. That DDT spot was great too, didn’t think MVP could pull it off.
Anyways, it’s fine and the crowd carries a match that would be at home on an
episode of RAW.
(WWE United States Championship Match) Kofi
Kingston © vs The Miz
We heard about this match through WWE mobile alerts,
wow what great promotion for the championship match. Also this is the beginning
of serious push Miz, the awful shorts are gone and Miz looks like an actual
wrestler. We are in Montreal so Miz decides to speak French, his accent is
quite poor (Maybe he wasn’t with Maryse yet).
Lock-up, no clean break by Miz who lands a kick. Side
headlock takedown by Miz, shoulder block before Kofi leapfrogs Miz. They trade
counters before a rib kick by Kofi, corner punches by Kofi. European uppercut
for two, jaw-breaker counter by Miz. Snap suplex by Miz, Kofi dodges a punch
and lands two flying crossbodies and a dropkick for two. Kofi was on the top
rope but Miz swept Kofi’s legs, Miz is in control now and drives his knee into
the spine of Kofi. Kofi escapes but runs into a boot in the face, Miz mounts
Kofi and lands rights & lefts. Boot for two, Kofi escapes a sleeper but
runs into a flapjack. Two for the challenger, another knee to the spine and a
kick to the face.
Rope choke by Miz, Kofi sends Miz to the floor. Kofi
fakes a plancha but Miz sweeps the legs and Kofi’s head cracks off the apron.
Two for Miz, Miz drives Kofi to the buckle and lands his corner clothesline.
Miz lands a double axe handle for a close two. Kofi crawls to the corner with
Miz continuing to wear down Kofi with stomps, Kofi manages to send Miz into the
buckle but Miz gets right back in with stiff kicks to the spine and back area.
Miz starts taking kicks from Kofi, both men attempt their finishers but Kofi
connects with an SOS for two.
Kofi misses a clothesline, Miz lands Mizard of Oz for
two. Miz runs into a boot from Kofi, Kofi lands a clothesline and misses his
Boom Drop as Miz counters with a dropkick for two. Both men trade pin-falls,
Kofi sends Miz to the buckle and almost sneaks it, Miz reverses but gets caught
with a Russian leg-sweep and a Boom Drop. Two for Kofi, Kofi tries a diving
crossbody but Miz rolls through for two. Flapjack into the buckle by Miz,
schoolboy with a handful of tights for two, Miz loses his cool and starts smashing
Kofi in the back of the head. Miz’s neckbreaker is stopped with a shove as Kofi
unleashes Trouble in Paradise for the win!
Decent match, not sold on Miz who seems to just be
discovering himself. Gear is much better though, I will give him that. Kofi is
such a likeable and over babyface, Kofi deserves more than the US Championship
and it’s only a matter of time before Kofi continues to rise the ranks of WWE.
The mid-card is filled with young talent but they need to catch up with Kofi!
Winner: Kofi Kingston over Miz via Trouble in
Paradise!
(Submission Count Anywhere Match) Legacy vs
D-Generation X
Shawn Michaels returned to WWE to help his friend
Triple H who could not beat Randy Orton for the WWE Championship, Triple H was
always outnumbered so Hunter called his best friend and Michaels came back for
Triple H and they were victorious in a fairly average Summerslam match with HBK
stealing the show as per usual. Now the ring-rust will be more worn off so can
HBK steal the show in this one? Let’s find out!
We start hot with DX jumping Legacy, right hands and
chops galore. Flying forearm by HBK, this match is definitely interesting as
nobody has an established submission finish out of these four men. Michaels is
the closest with his modified figure four that he would use from time to time,
Dibiase & Rhodes have their legs attacked with chop-blocks and
shin-breakers by DX. Crowd-brawling from HBK, Dibiase and Triple H battle by
the steel steps. All four men make it to the crowd, they make their way to the
top of the arena near the concession stands, HBK and Rhodes are now in the
crowd. Michaels chops away at Rhodes, Rhodes is nailing big right hands though.
Michaels is shoved off the stands onto tables below. Michaels screams out in
pain and the referee immediately calls out for help.
Triple H checks on Michaels who does not move, Triple
H gets fired up and beats up Legacy. Triple H wanted a Pedigree on the stage
but Legacy combine to thwart Triple H’s plan, Triple H back-drops Dibiase on
the stage. Rhodes & Triple H are backstage now, Triple H is caught as
Dibiase helps out Rhodes, right hands from Rhodes. Million Dollar Dream by
Dibiase, Rhodes is kicked away by Triple H and Dibiase is rammed into a pillar.
Dibiase is spinebustered into food, Triple H has a cross-face on Rhodes. Dibiase
uses a cooler to stop Triple H, Dibiase tries to revive Rhodes who is clueless.
Triple H appears to have been knocked out before Rhodes makes sure with a steel
chair to the head.
Michaels stumbles towards the backstage area, the
cocky duo start taking it to HBK. Scoop slam on the stage, Michaels is being
smashed in the ribs by the duo. We are back in the ring now, the announcers
have a serious tone in their voice while Michaels does what he does best and
that is sell his ass off. Rhodes runs into a boot, Michaels avoids an elbow
drop from Dibiase. Dibiase is canned to the floor, Rhodes avoids a chop and
rolls into an ankle lock. Beautifully done, rope breaks do not matter so that’s
frustrating for Michaels, Michaels kicks off Rhodes. Dibiase is elevated to the
floor with a back body-drop, Sweet Chin Music by Michaels on Rhodes. We cut to
the back, Triple H is stirring. Figure four leg-lock in the ring from Michaels,
Rhodes is screaming out in pain. Dibiase makes the save, the numbers are too
much for HBK.
Michaels avoids a spike piledriver, Dibiase is
back-dropped once more. Michaels pulls himself up, Michaels measures for Sweet
Chin Music but Rhodes pulls Michaels into the ring-post. Figure-four leg-lock
using the ring-post, Michaels is caught from behind by Dibiase, a Million
Dollar Dream and a figure four at the same time and Michaels is forced to tap,
Legacy walk away with the win.
A much needed win for Legacy and a much needed change
of pace, the last time we saw these two on PPV it was treated as a joke almost
as DX were coming back and they had the comedy and the match was treated in
that same vein which was so disappointing considering the amount of heat and
story that was tied to this angle. Triple H had his family wiped out by Legacy,
Batista, Vince, Shane and even his wife. The finish is quite creative and looks
brutal, definitely looking forward to the rubber match between the two teams.
Winners: Legacy over D-X via Million Dollar
Dream/Figure Four Leg-Lock Combination!
(Singapore Cane Match) Kane vs Great Khali
Well fuck I hope this is not a long one, Singapore
canes are in each corner of the ring. Kane starts with right hands and boots,
Khali stops Kane from using the cane. Khali lands a massive chest-chop, Irish
whip to the buckle. They both grab canes, they use the canes like lightsabers
before Khali over-powers Kane, Khali smacks Kane. Kane lands a low dropkick on
the floor, Khali is smacked with the cane repeatedly. In the ring we go, Kane
smashes Khali across the back. Khali is battered with the cane before Kane
lands a low dropkick, Kane does a hammerlock with the cane, fans are bored of
this.
Khali blocks the cane shot, Khali waffles Kane over
and over. Clothesline by Khali, Khali wants the chop. The Chop connects, two as
Kane powers out! Vise Grip is countered with cane shots to the head, Kane
climbs to the top rope. Diving cane shot by Kane, Khali powers out at two. Kane
measures for a Chokeslam, Khali’s brother interferes to attack Kane, Kane grabs
Singh by the throat. Khali chops Kane to save his brother, Khali checks on his
brother but Kane lands a White Russian Leg-sweep using the ropes to down Khali.
Kane measures and connects with a Chokeslam. Mercifully, it is over.
Yeah it’s bad even though it’s brief. Two big guys
going at it has to be balls to the wall and intense or it’s going to drag.
Khali is massive and super limited, this was always going to be a disaster and
the cane is not exactly a weapon that generates the same reaction as a table or
a chair so what we have is two big guys moving around, hitting one another to
limited reaction before a Chokeslam ends this awful affair.
Winner: Kane over Great Khali via Chokeslam!
(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match)
Christian © vs William Regal
Since returning to the WWE, Christian has been a
fantastic addition to the roster having the best matches for the likes of
Swagger, Finlay and more. Matt Hardy had done well as top babyface on ECW but
Christian outshined him with such ease and grace. This match took place at
Summerslam but ended in 8 seconds which saddened me as this was one match that
would have been decent.
Before the match begins, Ezekiel Jackson and Kozlov
are forced to leave the ringside area, Regal sells this with a simple
expression on his face of “Well shit”. Perfect for the moment, Regal seems
tense and they lock-up, aggressive lock-up with both men on the canvas and in
the corners, forearms and slaps from both. Regal avoids the Killswitch, second
lock-up with Christian working the arm, Regal tries a roll-through but
Christian continues to counter and hold on, sunset flip for two. Right hand and
dropkick by Christian for two, side headlock takedown by Christian. Regal sends
Christian to the apron, Christian rams Regal off the buckle. Diving crossbody
for two, the champion continues the right hands in the corner.
Regal avoids the tornado DDT by shoving Christian to
the floor, nasty looking bump for the champion. The challenger takes control, Regal
uses a wear down hold before they trade holds once more, Regal outsmarts
Christian and lands a half-nelson suplex for the two. Romero Special from
Regal, Christian elbows his way out of the hold. Springboard sunset flip is
countered, knee by Regal to the face. Make it three for a two count, Regal
slaps on a full-nelson. Modified Regal Plex for two, Regal slaps on another submission.
Christian breaks free for a tornado DDT, two for the champion. Christian wants
to finish this, Regal stops that with a forearm for two, Regal drags his elbow
across Christian’s face. Christian gets up and fires back with right hands,
Kill-Switch is countered for a brutal Regal-Plex.
Regal is beyond frustrated at this point, Regal mocks
Christian. Christian eats forearm shivers, Christian is back on his feet
somehow. Running forearm, middle rope spinning elbow. Elbow drop, scoop slam
and a running forearm shiver for two. Middle rope missile dropkick, clothesline
by Christian but Regal swats away the top rope missile dropkick and lands a
senton for two. Knees and forearms by Regal, Christian lands knees to the head.
Kill-Switch is countered but Regal misses a knee trembler and Christian nails
The Kill-Switch for the win.
Super solid match here, Regal is vicious and his
transitions are just a joy to watch, the Regal-Plex is absolutely disgusting
looking and I love it, a proper fight between two people trying to get the
advantage and the win. Regal was so good as is Christian and ECW is such a
waste of both men but obviously politics did play a part in where both men
would be on the card but a very good match in the middle of a PPV that sorely
needs a bit of quality!
Winner: Christian over William Regal via
Kill-Switch!
(WWE Championship I Quit Match) Randy Orton © vs
John Cena
I have seen a lot of terrible finishes in my time but
the Summerslam match between Cena and Orton was horrific, really made Cena look
like a twat. So we have an I Quit match, Cena says he will never quit. The bell
rings, they slowly walk towards the middle of the ring, Cena seems to be
feeling out the crowd on this one, Orton does not take his eyes off Cena. Cena
pushes Orton to the buckle, shoulder thrusts and a belly to belly suplex.
Fisherman suplex by Cena, Orton sells in the strange ways he does during this
era, Cena starts throwing major right hands. Orton avoids the flying shoulder
tackle, Orton looks to take control and sends Cena into the announce table.
Cena is smashed with a monitor to the head, Orton looks down at Cena who is not
moving. Cena pulls himself up slowly to the apron, Orton wants that DDT. Cena
is dropped with the apron DDT, Orton grabs a chair and places it in the middle
of the ring. Orton wants a running RKO on the chair, Cena shoves off Orton.
Shoulder blocks and spinning side-slam, Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena wants an AA,
Orton counters to the apron, hot-shot sends Cena down. Cena is down, Orton
starts thinking Punt but Cena ducks, STF is blocked as Orton rolls away. Steel
steps to the face from Orton, Orton stomps Cena’s head into the steel steps.
Orton pulls something from under the ring, it’s
handcuffs. Orton has the key wrapped around his neck, Orton stomps the life out
of Cena. Cena is cuffed to the top rope, Orton pummels Cena who cannot move.
Knees to the throat from Orton, Orton decks Cena with the microphone and
uncuffs the challenger. Cena is tied to the ring-post, Orton starts punching
the ribs of Cena who cannot defend himself. Cena is covered in water by Orton,
Cena spits it back in the face of Orton. Orton decides to stop messing around
and grabs the canes, Orton canes Cena in the ribs and head. Orton chokes Cena
using the cane before Cena lands a massive low blow to stop Orton’s attack.
Orton cracks Cena with a chair, Orton handcuffs Cena
to the bottom rope. A chair across the back from Orton, Cena refuses to give
up. Orton is losing his mind. Cena avoids a chair-shot and back-drops Orton
onto the floor, Cena has the key and uncuffs himself. Orton and Cena are cuffed
together, Cena lands rights hands all around. Orton is bounced off the announce
table, belly to back suplex and right hands from Cena. Orton prevents an AA and
lands an RKO out of nothing, Orton wants the key. Orton spots the key but has
to drag Cena towards the key, great camera work here. Cena is behind and
pulling Orton, Orton is so close but Cena is too strong. Orton is caught in a
STF using the handcuffs and Cena makes Orton utter the words I Quit.
Orton’s body language was fantastic throughout this,
Orton’s peak character wise as a devious madman who took great pleasure in
Cena’s pain. A lot of the match centered around those handcuffs, there could be
an argument that it went a little long in that regard but what annoys me more
is Cena’s complete lack of selling once breaking free from the cuffs. The
highlights all show Orton torturing Cena in various ways so for Orton to Hulk
Up with no effects was a little annoying, a common complaint about Cena during
this time and Cena gaining revenge on Orton for torturing him was so brief.
Orton’s demise at the end of his own weapon was satisfying but Orton gave up so
quickly, I felt they could have teased out the drama a little more there but
that’s just me.
Winner: John Cena over Randy Orton via Handcuff
Assisted STF!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Submission
Match) CM Punk © vs The Undertaker
CM Punk had beaten Jeff Hardy, Hardy was leaving WWE
and WWE needed someone to fill that gap so The Deadman returns. Punk didn’t get
a fair crack at being champion the first time around, Punk had traded the
championship with Jeff Hardy so Punk deserves a long reign but we will see how
it plays out. Punk’s cockiness is on full display as Punk wants to be the first
man to ever tap out The Undertaker.
Punk seems to be pumped up, Punk powders instantly.
Taker corners Punk but Punk is quicker, rights and kicks by the champion.
Elbows and more, Taker is rocked. Taker grabs Punk by the throat and Punk is
tossed to the floor, Taker hits a clothesline in the ring. Knees to the ribs
and kicks by the challenger, Taker sends Punk to the floor. A right hand floors
Punk, Punk uses a chair to get back into this one. Running knee in the corner,
Taker avoids the bulldog. Taker lands shoulder thrusts but Punk counters Old
School, right hands to the head. Punk wanted a superplex but Taker headbutts
Punk down, Punk retaliates with a kick to the face. Superplex by Punk, kicks by
Punk.
Taker is answering with right hands, corner
clothesline. Snake eyes, running big boot. Leg drop, Punk stops a Chokeslam
with a kick to the head, Punk walks into Hell’s Gate and Punk is tapping! Just
like that it is over! However, Teddy Long comes out and says Hell’s Gate is
banned as a submission, the match has to continue with Taker being jumped from
behind. Punk lands knees but Taker lands a big boot, The Last Ride is countered
and Punk lands a chop block. Anaconda Vise and the bell rings, Taker does not tap
but it looks like we have a Montreal Screwjob in Montreal!
Beyond lame end to the PPV, turning Teddy Long momentarily
heel? For what reason? A screwjob finish in Montreal again? How many callbacks
can you make to the shit? Why put that as your main event? Because they hate
Bret that much? Especially with Cena winning, why not main event with that?
Winner: CM Punk over The Undertaker via Screwjob!
That was WWE’s Breaking Point 2009, an underwhelming pay
per view in many ways, pay per views based around concepts can be hit and miss,
Lockdown from TNA can be very tiring as many of the matches are the same,
hampered by the cage and struggling to incorporate the structure despite it
being the selling point, I have a similar feeling here with matches based
around submissions featuring wrestlers who don’t really have strong submissions
in their repertoire. What was Orton going to pull out? What was Triple H going
to use? So, the concept was a little weak for me and seeing submission matches
coupled with an I Quit match left me feeling like a Lockdown PPV without the
madness of a Lethal Lockdown to melt away the bad memories. Jericho & Show
are wasted in the tag division, they were simply too good and over to be wasted
like that, Show was a monster and Jericho was doing the best work of his career
before this, feels like such a step back. They are pushing forward with The
Miz, I respect it but it is a work in progress.
Legacy needed the win but the feud has lost a lot of
its bite with the Summerslam match being treated in such a hokey oh look DX are
back and they are clearly going to win way. Orton vs Cena was satisfying with
the handcuff finish but so much of the match was literally the spot with
handcuffs, Cena super recovers as usual here and we don’t get the struggle, overcoming
the villainous Orton, it’s over before you know it. And a screwjob in Canada
again? Bite me, don’t check this one out you aren’t missing much. Thanks for reading
and remember: there’s always another night!
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