Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac
Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that gets
more heat than Big Cass! It’s one of the final Saturday Night’s Main Events with
Cena facing Khali, a strange main event and an arm wrestling contest. The early
Saturday Night Main Events were a lot of fun but can these later events recapture
the glory days?
The
Great Khali W/ Singh vs John Cena
Cena attacks Khali right away, Khali
blocks every shot. Shoulder block and FU attempt, Khali smacks down Cena.
Clubbing blows from Khali, Cena is sent to the floor. Khali Irish whips Cena
hard, Cena eats a boot. Massive scoop slam, Khali misses a leg drop. Cena
attempts an STFU, Khali shoves off Cena. Headbutt by Khali, massive clothesline
from Khali. Khali shuts down Cena’s comeback attempts, Cena is choked on the
middle rope. Massive right hand by Khali, massive headbutt. Khali blocks an FU,
Giant Brain chop by Khali. Two-Handed Throat Slam from Khali and Khali wins
this match with ease. A squash match really, no rating for that.
Winner: The Great Khali over John Cena
via Throat Toss!
Arm
Wrestling Match
Vince places Mark Henry in his spot,
Lashley and Henry do battle. Lashley would Spear Henry but Vince would cheap
shot Lashley with a chair, it was alright nothing special.
Batista
& Chris Benoit vs MVP & Edge
MVP tees off on Benoit, Benoit fires back
at MVP. Crossface by Benoit, MVP makes it to the ropes. Edge tags in, Edge
beats down Benoit. Benoit chops Edge, snap suplex and elbow drop for two.
Reverse elbow and clotheslines by Benoit, tag to Batista. Edge tags MVP, Batista
brings in MVP. Shoulder blocks and a huge slam, Edge saves MVP. MVP unloads on
Batista with right hands, front chancery from MVP. Knee from Batista, boot for
two. Benoit tags in and pummels MVP, chops in the corner. MVP misses a boot and
Benoit drills MVP with German suplexes. Edge eats a right hand from Benoit,
Benoit misses a headbutt though for taking too long.
MVP stomps and elbows Benoit for two,
Edge comes in and kicks Benoit. Gutwrench suplex from MVP, elbows and knees for
two. Benoit stays near the ropes, MVP tags Edge. Snapmare and waistlock from
Edge, Benoit escapes with a massive enzuigiri. Benoit kicks off MVP, hot-tag to
Batista. Right hands to MVP, clothesline and corner splashes. Running powerslam,
Edge runs away from MVP’s aid. Spinebuster on MVP, tag to Benoit who nails a
Diving Headbutt for the win.
Solid tag team match, I like the idea
of Edge being such a chickenshit heel that he wants no part of The Animal,
Benoit sold well and Batista’s hot-tag was decent. Probably going to be the
match of the night based on this card.
Winners: Batista & Chris Benoit
over Edge & MVP via Diving Headbutt!
Finlay
& Hornswoggle vs Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman
A rematch from a Smackdown pay per
view that I never knew I wanted to see again, Boogeyman shrugs off Finlay.
Finlay is smashed off the turnbuckle, rights and lefts by Boogeyman. Hip
splash, inverted atomic drop and splash. Tag to Little Boogeyman, tiny hip
splashes, Finlay eats slaps to the face. Little Boogeyman bites Finlay, DDT on
Finlay. Finlay tags Hornswoggle, Finlay dropkicks Little Boogeyman. The two dance,
Little Boogeyman gets two of an inside cradle. Big Boogeyman chases
Hornswoggle, Finlay boots Little Boogeyman for the win. Bleh DUD!
Winners: Finlay & Hornswoggle over
Boogeymen via Boot!
Weird
& Wacky Match
Kevin Thorn teams with Umaga and
Viscera to do battle with Doink who teams with Eugene and Kane. Doink mocks Thorn
for a while, clothesline by Thorn. Stomps by Thorn, Kane uppercuts Thorn. Tag
to Eugene, double axe handle by Eugene. Umaga is legal, boot and stomps by
Umaga. Tag to Viscera, Eugene fires up on Viscera. Spinning side slam by
Viscera, Thorn is now legal. A few kicks from Thorn before a tag to Umaga who
clamps on a shoulder claw. Umaga batters Eugene, Umaga continues to beat up Eugene
before Eugene manages to break free to tag Kane.
Kane batters Viscera and Thorn, corner
clothesline on Thorn. Sidewalk slam, Umaga eats a fist to the face. Diving
Clothesline by Kane, Umaga saves Thorn. Doink gets smacked by Umaga as does
Eugene, Thorn tags Viscera. Viscera misses a splash, Kane Chokeslams Viscera
for the win. God, do not make me watch that again.
Winners: Team Kane over Team Umaga via
Chokeslam!
Entirely forgettable and nothing to
make you tune into One Night Stand that would be on the next night. So, I would
recommend to avoid this because there is nothing you need to see here. Thanks
for reading if you bothered to click on this review and remember: There’s
always another night!
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