Hello and welcome to Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that gets more heat than Big Cass! It’s one of the final Saturday Night’s Main Events with Cena facing Khali, a strange main event and an arm wrestling contest. The early Saturday Night Main Events were a lot of fun but can these later events recapture the glory days?
The Great Khali W/ Singh vs John Cena
Cena attacks Khali right away, Khali blocks every shot. Shoulder block and FU attempt, Khali smacks down Cena. Clubbing blows from Khali, Cena is sent to the floor. Khali Irish whips Cena hard, Cena eats a boot. Massive scoop slam, Khali misses a leg drop. Cena attempts an STFU, Khali shoves off Cena. Headbutt by Khali, massive clothesline from Khali. Khali shuts down Cena’s comeback attempts, Cena is choked on the middle rope. Massive right hand by Khali, massive headbutt. Khali blocks an FU, Giant Brain chop by Khali. Two-Handed Throat Slam from Khali and Khali wins this match with ease. A squash match really, no rating for that.
Winner: The Great Khali over John Cena via Throat Toss!
Arm Wrestling Match
Vince places Mark Henry in his spot, Lashley and Henry do battle. Lashley would Spear Henry but Vince would cheap shot Lashley with a chair, it was alright nothing special.
Batista & Chris Benoit vs MVP & Edge
MVP tees off on Benoit, Benoit fires back at MVP. Crossface by Benoit, MVP makes it to the ropes. Edge tags in, Edge beats down Benoit. Benoit chops Edge, snap suplex and elbow drop for two. Reverse elbow and clotheslines by Benoit, tag to Batista. Edge tags MVP, Batista brings in MVP. Shoulder blocks and a huge slam, Edge saves MVP. MVP unloads on Batista with right hands, front chancery from MVP. Knee from Batista, boot for two. Benoit tags in and pummels MVP, chops in the corner. MVP misses a boot and Benoit drills MVP with German suplexes. Edge eats a right hand from Benoit, Benoit misses a headbutt though for taking too long.
MVP stomps and elbows Benoit for two, Edge comes in and kicks Benoit. Gutwrench suplex from MVP, elbows and knees for two. Benoit stays near the ropes, MVP tags Edge. Snapmare and waistlock from Edge, Benoit escapes with a massive enzuigiri. Benoit kicks off MVP, hot-tag to Batista. Right hands to MVP, clothesline and corner splashes. Running powerslam, Edge runs away from MVP’s aid. Spinebuster on MVP, tag to Benoit who nails a Diving Headbutt for the win.
Solid tag team match, I like the idea of Edge being such a chickenshit heel that he wants no part of The Animal, Benoit sold well and Batista’s hot-tag was decent. Probably going to be the match of the night based on this card.
Winners: Batista & Chris Benoit over Edge & MVP via Diving Headbutt!
Finlay & Hornswoggle vs Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman
A rematch from a Smackdown pay per view that I never knew I wanted to see again, Boogeyman shrugs off Finlay. Finlay is smashed off the turnbuckle, rights and lefts by Boogeyman. Hip splash, inverted atomic drop and splash. Tag to Little Boogeyman, tiny hip splashes, Finlay eats slaps to the face. Little Boogeyman bites Finlay, DDT on Finlay. Finlay tags Hornswoggle, Finlay dropkicks Little Boogeyman. The two dance, Little Boogeyman gets two of an inside cradle. Big Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle, Finlay boots Little Boogeyman for the win. Bleh DUD!
Winners: Finlay & Hornswoggle over Boogeymen via Boot!
Weird & Wacky Match
Kevin Thorn teams with Umaga and Viscera to do battle with Doink who teams with Eugene and Kane. Doink mocks Thorn for a while, clothesline by Thorn. Stomps by Thorn, Kane uppercuts Thorn. Tag to Eugene, double axe handle by Eugene. Umaga is legal, boot and stomps by Umaga. Tag to Viscera, Eugene fires up on Viscera. Spinning side slam by Viscera, Thorn is now legal. A few kicks from Thorn before a tag to Umaga who clamps on a shoulder claw. Umaga batters Eugene, Umaga continues to beat up Eugene before Eugene manages to break free to tag Kane.
Kane batters Viscera and Thorn, corner clothesline on Thorn. Sidewalk slam, Umaga eats a fist to the face. Diving Clothesline by Kane, Umaga saves Thorn. Doink gets smacked by Umaga as does Eugene, Thorn tags Viscera. Viscera misses a splash, Kane Chokeslams Viscera for the win. God, do not make me watch that again.
Winners: Team Kane over Team Umaga via Chokeslam!
Entirely forgettable and nothing to make you tune into One Night Stand that would be on the next night. So, I would recommend to avoid this because there is nothing you need to see here. Thanks for reading if you bothered to click on this review and remember: There’s always another night!