Hello and welcome to another riveting
edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on
the internet that is as real as Cena’s breakup with Nikki Bella (It’s a work
brother). WWE’s One Night Stand 2007, no longer an ECW-themed reunion show but
rather a pay per view that pays homage to ECW through exciting and dangerous
stipulation matches. The big matches on the card include John Cena facing The
Great Khali in a Falls Count Anywhere Match for the WWE Championship while Edge
defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Batista inside of a steel
cage. Stretcher matches, table matches and much, much more. This looks like we
are in for a treat tonight but the ECW One Night Stands were held in such high
regard so the question is simple: Could WWE’s One Night Stand deliver?
Opening
Promo
A great promo package showing that
there is no rules, anything goes on this awesome night. Mr. Mcmahon is all
alone against Bobby Lashley, could this be possible? Edge has nowhere to run
inside of the steel cage, highlights of all sorts of extreme action lead us to
this one night stand.
(Stretcher
Match) Randy Orton vs Rob Van Dam
The Legend Killer has found his edge
once more, Orton was feeling very flat over the past number of months despite
being a main-stay and centrepiece on the Raw roster. With his rope-hung DDT and
his Punt kick that took out Shawn Michaels, things are looking fantastic for
The Legend Killer who has tapped into a side of himself that was not seen since
his battles with The Undertaker. RVD has been brutally beaten by Orton, not
being able to continue in their match on Raw. Is RVD in any condition to
compete? This match can only be won by placing your opponent on a stretcher and
pushing them over the finish line at the top of the entrance way.
Stare-down, RVD talks trash and asks
Orton who does he think he is before a massive kick to the face. Forearms from
RVD, spinning heel kick in the corner. Ten punches in the corner from RVD,
monkey flip from Van Dam. Slingshot leg drop from RVD, another spinning heel
kick in the corner, this match has been all RVD. Roundhouse kick and corkscrew
leg drop from RVD, mounted punches from Van Dam. Massive right from Orton, RVD
looks to not know where he is, RVD might be showing the signs of the
concussion. RVD blocks the RKO with a kick to the head, RVD goes high but
misses the top rope. RVD is concussed, this match should be stopped.
Uppercut by Orton, make it two.
Standing dropkick by Orton, Garvin-style stomps by Orton. Massive knee drop
from Orton, Orton pummels the head of RVD. Elevated neckbreaker from Orton, RVD
is rolled onto the stretcher. RVD rolls off and begins waffling Orton, Orton
meets the ringpost. RVD puts Orton on the stretcher, RVD climbs to the apron.
Corkscrew leg drop from the apron onto Orton, slingshot leg drop by RVD. RVD
makes his clothesline, Rolling Thunder is stopped for a powerslam. RVD blocks
an apron suplex and dropkicks Orton to the floor, Orton is on the stretcher and
RVD attempts a Rolling Thunder onto the stretcher but Orton dodges. RVD lies
broken on the floor, Orton pushes RVD to the line but RVD battles back and
kicks Orton in the head to steal the win. Post-match, Orton decimates RVD.
Well, I did not think RVD was winning
the match. That was a shock but the aftermath was what I was looking forward to
because Orton is on fire at the minute in terms of building heat. Orton
destroys RVD, arguably one of the most beloved babyfaces to ever grace the WWE,
Orton destroys RVD in a sickening fashion, an assault that makes you feel
uncomfortable, a feeling that you do not get often in wrestling. Orton is
tremendous in his destruction of the ECW Original.
(Six-Man
Tables Match) CM Punk/The Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor
Von/Matt Striker
A continuation of Punk vs The New
Breed people that Mr Punk screwed over, Burke may have lost Kevin Thorn but Cor
Von and Striker are still here, this should be a fun match with tables you can
hardly go wrong. Dreamer and Cor Von begin, shoulder block by Cor Von. Side
headlock by Dreamer, stand-off. Striker distracts Dreamer, double underhook
suplex from Cor Von. Tag to Burke, snapmare and knee drop by Burke. Burke
misses a corner splash, Dreamer nails a bulldog. Tag to Sandman, flapjack by
Sandman. Knee by Burke, tag to Striker. Hiptoss from Sandman, tag to Punk.
Muay Thai knees, high knee and bulldog
on Striker. Tag to Dreamer, sidewalk slam and elbow drop combination. Punk and
Dreamer do a tribute to The Dudley Boyz, Cor Von attacks Dreamer on the floor.
Suicide Dive from Punk, Burke eats a springboard clothesline from Punk. Striker
is caught between Sandman and his cane, Striker eats a massive right from Dreamer.
Burke and Cor Von save Striker from going through a table, the match continues.
Burke and Cor Von isolate Punk in the ring. Slam by Cor Von, slingshot elbow by
Burke. Striker has a table, Punk is beaten down. Sandman pulls out Striker,
Dreamer saves Punk. Striker shoves Sandman to the floor, Dreamer nails sky high
on Striker.
Burke clotheslines Dreamer, Punk kicks
Burke before Cor Von powerbombs Punk to the mat. Table is setup, Cor Von lays Punk
on the table. Sandman canes Cor Von, Striker drops Sandman onto the steps.
Dreamer piledrivers Burke, Burke is placed on the table. Punk superplexes
Striker through the table onto Burke and The ECW Originals win this match.
This was fun, tables are fun. The ECW
Originals were allowed use their weapons, the action was fast-paced in parts
all the while, it centred around the future of the brand, that being Burke and
Punk. Punk gets the final say in the feud, fun stuff and this would be some
entertaining stuff to watch on the much criticized brand.
Winners: ECW Originals over New Breed
via Superplex!
(WWE
World Tag Team Championship Match) The Hardy Boyz © vs The World’s Greatest Tag
Team (Ladder Match)
The Hardy Boyz continue to dominate
the tag team division as they face a new challenge in what would be considered
their signature match. Much like Cade & Murdoch, it appears Benjamin &
Haas have come from nowhere to become challengers. The match begins with
brawling, Matt bulldogs Benjamin. Double suplex on Haas, Omega combination from
The Hardys. Haas double clotheslines the champions, everyone grabs ladders.
Stand-off before The Hardys dropkick the ladders into Haas & Benjamin’s
faces. Haas meets a corner ladder, Haas is sandwiched between ladders before
Benjamin is smacked into Haas. Poetry in Motion on both challengers, Benjamin
is buried under ladders.
Jeff almost grabs the championship,
Haas yanks off Jeff. Haas climbs for gold, Matt has Haas for an electric chair
drop. The Hardys climb, Benjamin grabs a ladder and knocks both Hardys off the
ladder. Short-arm clothesline on Jeff, Matt is smacked onto a ladder. Haas
& Benjamin maintain control before Haas climbs for gold, Benjamin joins
Haas. Matt backdrops Benjamin off the ladder, Haas brawls with Jeff. Haas
drives the ladder into both Hardys’ ribs, Benjamin and Haas create a see-saw of
ladders. The Hardys stop the see-saw, hiptossing Benjamin onto the ladders.
Haas is thrown from the top rope onto the see-saw, The Hardys roll to the floor
and grab the large ladders.
Jeff places a ladder across the ring
apron and the barricade, Haas is front suplexed on the ladder. Benjamin
suplexes Matt into the ring, Benjamin attempts a running splash but Matt
backdrops Benjamin over the top rope and onto the bridged ladder. Benjamin is
placed on the ladder, Jeff wants to dive onto Benjamin. Haas saves Jeff with a
super German suplex, Matt sees an opportunity to climb. Haas & Benjamin tip
Matt over, Matt smacks his face off the ropes. Benjamin drops Jeff with a
t-bone suplex, Haas has Matt on the floor in position for their signature tag
team move. Benjamin climbs a ladder in the ring and drops all his weight on
Matt on the outside, impressive looking visual here and a nice twist on their
usual offense.
Haas climbs for gold, Jeff joins Haas
on the ladder. Superplex from Jeff, Jeff recovers to climb the ladder, Benjamin
kicks the ladder over leaving Jeff to the floor. Benjamin stabs Jeff with the
ladder, Benjamin climbs for the win. Matt says no way, Benjamin is tied up in
the ropes. Neckbreaker by Matt, two ladders stand in the middle of the ring.
All four men begin brawling on the ladders, The Hardys tip over The World’s
Greatest Tag Team, Benjamin spills out to the floor. Swanton Bomb on Haas and
Matt brings home the gold.
The Hardys and ladder matches are the
perfect mix, I enjoyed this match a lot with some really nice spots mixed in
with the usual chaos that is brought by putting Jeff Hardy in situations where
he can do some crazy shit. Hats off to Benjamin too, the guy would kill himself
to get noticed and Benjamin’s athleticism is on full display throughout the
night which makes it all the more sad than Benjamin was like a forgotten man by
this point. Great match though, underrated because I have never heard anyone
talk about this ladder match.
Winners:
The Hardy Boyz over Haas & Benjamin via Retrieval Of The Championships!
(Lumberjack Match) Kane vs Mark Henry
What a waste
of Chris Benoit, the lumberjacks include Val Venis, Santino Marella, Balls
Mahoney, Stevie Richards, The Miz, Kevin Thorn, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro,
Chavo Guerrero Kenny Dykstra, and Carlito. Perhaps this is a good piece of
storyline continuity as Henry did take out The Undertaker which led to Edge
winning the world heavyweight championship, Kane could be here to defend his
brother’s honour. Henry sends Kane to the floor, Kane scares away the
lumberjacks. Kane boots Henry to the floor, lumberjacks are shaken off by
Henry. Kane uppercuts Henry, Henry rolls to the floor. Both men brawl on the
floor, Henry sends Kane into the ring apron. Kane is slammed into the ringpost,
Henry clubs Kane in the lower back.
Kane fires
back before running into a powerslam, two for Henry. Bearhug from Henry, Kane backs
himself into the corner. Henry releases the hold, Kane tries a chokeslam but
the back of Kane is too weak for such a move. Bearhug again for Henry, Kane
chokes Henry to escape. Kane lures Henry in, Henry is on the floor. Kane dives
onto Henry and the lumberjacks, corner clotheslines from Kane. Diving
clothesline from Kane, Kane calls for the chokeslam. Kane’s back holds,
Chokeslam on Henry. Dykstra and Chavo jump Kane, Kane clears the ring but Henry
has a bearhug. Kane does not survive and Henry claims victory.
It was
alright, lumberjack matches have never been spectacular. The only one of note
that I can remember was Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins, that is the only one that
blew me away. The rest are usually boring affairs with the same group of spots,
it was weird aswell with Dykstra and Chavo jumping Kane without the babyfaces
and heels all brawling on the floor, they stood around like cheerleaders, they
could not even get that right. So, it was what it was, nothing special and just
there on the card.
Winner:
Mark Henry over Kane via Bearhug!
(ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match) Vince Mcmahon © vs
Bobby Lashley (Street Fight)
Vince has
Shane and Umaga in his corner, flashbacks of the last two pay per views enter
my mind. Lashley has defeated the trio but Lashley failed to pin Vince which
allowed Vince to change the rules and screw over Lashley out of regaining the
championship. Lashley dives over the top rope onto Umaga, Lashley botches the
landing and hurts himself. Great start, Shane jumps Lashley. Rights and lefts
from Shane, Vince watches from safety. Lashley presses Shane onto Umaga, Vince
is all alone.
Lashley
pummels Vince, Lashley takes care of Shane. Right hands to Umaga, Umaga misses
a splash. Lashley boots Shane, Lashley has a chair. Vince is picked up, Umaga
Samoan Spikes Lashley. Shane DDTs Lashley on a chair, clothesline by Vince.
Make it two, headbutt from Umaga. Low blow from Vince, Lashley is dumped to the
floor. Vince chokes Lashley with the hammer for the ringbell, Shane and Umaga
put the boots to Lashley. Vince kicks Lashley while talking trash, more choking
and strangling from Vince. Samoan drop from Umaga, Vince covers for two. Spear
by Vince for two, Umaga splashes Vince by mistake.
Lashley
throws Umaga to the floor, Lashley belly to belly suplexes Shane to the floor.
Lashley has a chair, Vince is smacked in the head hard with the chair. Lashley
wears out Vince with the chair, Running Powerslam with Umaga saving Vince.
Lashley has another chair, superkick from Umaga. Umaga splashes Lashley from
the apron, Umaga clears the announce table. Shane is on the top rope, Elbow
Drop through the announce table. Vince covers and it’s a two! Umaga nails his
running hip attack, Shane wants coast to coast. Lashley dodges, Shane kicks the
trash can into Umaga’s face. Spear to Shane, Spear to Vince and Lashley is ECW
Champion.
The tale of
redemption comes to an end with Lashley winning back his championship, I
thought the best version of this match was the one at Judgment Day, short and
sweet. This was not like that match, this was more like Backlash which was less
enjoyable. I had seen the same match too many times by this point, happy for
Lashley as you cannot deny that Lashley feels like a bigger deal now after the
feud but what would be next for Lashley? Once you work with The Mcmahons, only
the WWE Championship would not be considered a step down but isn’t it a bit
soon?
Winner:
Bobby Lashley over The Mcmahons via Spear!
(Pudding Match) Candice Michelle vs Melina
AND I JUST SAID
THIS DIVISION WAS TAKING STEPS FORWARD! DAMN YOU AND DAMN EVERYTHING THAT I
SAID PREVIOUSLY! Ok, got that out of my system, I am ready for whatever the
fuck this is, a big pool of pudding just like the days of Stacy, Torrie, The
Kat. Melina is dumped in, they roll around in the pool. Shoving, pushing etc.
They roll out of the pool, Melina applies a choke. Candice escapes, DDT in the
pudding? Forearms from Melina, Candice tries drowning Melina who taps. SHITE!
Winner:
Candice over Melina via Choke!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Edge © vs Batista
(Steel Cage Match)
Ah yes, the
death nail in the coffin for Mr. Chickenshit heel Edge. Edge has stolen the
championship from Undertaker, Edge has squeaked past Batista at Judgment Day.
This is a cage match, Edge cannot run or hide. Batista is coming to the ring
with a purpose, Edge looks petrified as he should knowing that this could be
the end of his championship reign. Batista is 100% too, no taped up limbs on
The Animal. Edge tries running out the door, Batista stops the champion in his
tracks. Edge tries climbing over the top, Batista drags down Edge. Batista
punishes Edge with foot chokes and a camel clutch, Edge is hanging on by a thread.
Shoulder
block for two, clothesline for two. Suplex for two, Edge is being battered in
this match. Batista looks to escape, Edge stops Batista. Dropkick to the knee,
Batista lands between the ropes and cage, massive Spear from Edge. Edge slams
Batista into the cage, Batista crumbles to the ground. Baseball slide to the
ribs from Edge, Batista smacks off the cage. Edge tries escaping but Batista
has some fight left in him, Edge exposes a top turnbuckle. Batista blocks and
kicks Edge, Edge counters a powerslam for an Edge O Matic. Batista and Edge are
on the top rope, Edge tries escaping only to eat a superplex from The Animal.
Two for Batista, Batista attempts escaping. Edge stops Batista, Batista rams
Edge’s head into the cage. Edge falls to the mat, Batista looks for a diving
shoulder block but Edge has it scouted for a dropkick.
Both men
bang heads of a spear collision, Batista clotheslines Edge hard. Sidewalk slam
for two, Edge misses a dropkick. Batista catapults Edge into the cage, schoolboy
for two. Corner clothesline and Batista lawn darts Edge into the steel cage.
Edge sends Batista into the exposed turnbuckle, Spear from Edge for two.
Batista recovers, Edge scales the cage to escape The Batista Bomb. Edge just
has to drop down, Batista has Edge by his hair. The two struggle for what seems
like an age, low blows from Edge. Batista falls to the floor, the two race out
of the cage with Batista crawling for the door and Edge climbs over the top.
The two race but Edge drops to the floor before Batista could escape!
It was solid
but not as fun as I thought it could have been at the end of the night, I
looked forward to Batista destroying Edge, I did not exactly get that when all
was finished. I think the crotching yourself spot is always comical, I think
the two low blows without Batista landing on his balls would have been more
acceptable and the crawling out of the cage finish is a bit iffy to me for the
simple fact that the wrestlers are always told before the match that both feet
must touch the floor yet they always crawl out on their hands. Just nit-picking
but I never like my babyfaces looking like complete imbeciles.
Winner:
Edge over Batista via Escaping The Cage!
(WWE Championship Match) John Cena © vs The Great Khali W/
Ranjin Singh (Falls Count Anywhere Match)
Rematch
time, Cena vs Khali with pin-falls count anywhere. Khali has never been pinned,
let’s see how this match goes for The Master of Thuganomics. Cena chops at
Khali with kicks, Khali catches the leg and punishes Cena. Elbows in the corner,
headbutt by Khali. Big boot by Khali, scoop slam from Khali. Khali misses a leg
drop, Cena goes to the top rope but Khali brain chops Cena and pushes the
champion to the floor. Two for Khali, Cena attempts a low dropkick using the
steps. Khali dodges and slams Cena’s head into the announce table, Cena blocks
the brain chop but Khali throws Cena into the crowd. Cena and Khali brawl in
the crowd, Cena tries an FU.
Khali stops
Cena with a massive chop, more clubbing blows from Khali. Khali boots Cena,
they make their way around the arena. Khali misses a clothesline, Cena waffles
Khali with a camera boom mic, Cena covers for two. Khali blocks another FU,
Khali press slams Cena onto a crane. The two are on the crane, Cena blocks a
throat toss. Cena FUs Khali to the floor, Cena covers and Cena retains the
championship.
Well, it was
as basic as you could get with Khali in there, bordering on laughable with the
big man’s attacks but the crowd were into this match. Cena managed to turn this
into an entertaining affair with a fun finish despite the limitations within Khali,
it did not go very long like their other battles and nothing here blew me away
but it was a fun end to the show with a finish that few were expecting.
Winner:
John Cena over Great Khali via Super FU!
That was WWE’s
One Night Stand 2007, a hit and miss pay per view from the crazy mind of Mr.
Mcmahon. While the show was full to the brim with gimmick matches, some of
these matches did not deliver or were rather dull. The pay per view was chugging
along solidly with the tables match and the ladder match was a lot of fun too
before dipping with the ECW Championship match that was a repeat of Backlash,
the pudding match which was filler at its worst, the World Heavyweight
Championship match that was not enough of either Edge getting his ass kicked or
Batista being screwed out of his championship while the main event was fun for
the finish and the crowd’s participation/reaction to the match but it was
nothing to write home about. To conclude, there were things I enjoyed about
this pay per view but it did leave much to be desired, thanks for reading and remember:
There’s always another night!
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