Good evening
to you, chain gang members to another balls to the walls edition of the only
internet wrestling review series that pumps up its sneakers more than John
Cena: Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews. Here at my esteemed headquarters (AKA The
Basement), I like to critique wrestling pay per views and they are certain
shows I look forward to, the big four of the WWE are always fun, TNA pay per
views are fun for other reasons but one type of pay per view that I love to
cover is the UK pay per views of the WWF.
These shows
have fans who have been starved of the product, are into most if not all the
matches and the matches seem to be fun. Tonight, is no exception as I look at
WWF’s Insurrextion of 2002, big matches on the card include Big Show vs Stone
Cold Steve Austin as Austin continues to deal with The NWO, Undertaker vs
Triple H in the main event and Eddie Guerrero vs RVD. So, let’s waste no more
time and get this thing on the road, strap in for WWE’s Insurrextion 2002!
Opening Promo
It feels
more like an opening for RAW as we see highlights of every superstar that will
appear on the pay per view, cheesy announcer talks over the clips claiming that
the WWF is in town!
(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Eddie Guerrero © vs
Rob Van Dam
Guerrero defeated
RVD for the championship at Backlash under dubious circumstances, Van Dam looks
to regain his Intercontinental Championship. RVD seemed to be super over with
the audience as expected, Guerrero grabs the arm but RVD sweeps Guerrero. High
pace start with a stand-off, the crowd approves. Guerrero and RVD begin
shoving, Guerrero smacks RVD square in the face, RVD nails a spinning heel kick
and Guerrero powders. Baseball slide and moonsault from the apron by RVD.
Springboard
legdrop for a two count by RVD, forearm shots to Guerrero. Split-legged
moonsault by RVD gets a two count, shoulder thrusts by RVD. Guerrero counters
for a sunset flip, RVD is back on top though with a monkey flip. Guerrero turns
the tide by side-stepping RVD. Guerrero stomps all over RVD in the ring, back
elbow for a two count. Guerrero rams RVD into the turnbuckle and begin stomping
all over the challenger.
Elbows to
the back of the head by Guerrero, vertical suplex with a floatover, two count
for the champion. Slingshot splash from Guerrero, two count for the champion.
Guerrero slaps on a sleeper, RVD makes it to the ropes. Sunset flip by RVD, two
count, victory roll and another two count. Guerrero clotheslines RVD and
applies a variation of the ankle lock. RVD makes it to the ropes, RVD unloads
on Guerrero before the champion dropkicks RVD’s leg. Heel hook by Guerrero,
dropkick to the knee by Van Dam. Guerrero works the leg of the challenger, RVD
uses his free leg to kick off Guerrero.
Thrust kick
by RVD, slugfest in the middle of the ring. Giant monkey flip by RVD,
clothesline and a suplex with a floatover. Guerrero kicks out at two, scoop
slam and Rolling Thunder for a two count. Guerrero gets caught in a rolling
fireman’s carry, moonsault by RVD. Two count for RVD, RVD nails a spinning heel
kick, Van Dam misses The Five Star Frog Splash. Guerrero has his championship,
the referee is shoved down. The referee disqualifies Guerrero and RVD proceeds
to smash Guerrero with the Intercontinental Championship and nails a Giant Five
Star Frog Splash!
Very good
opening match to the show, title changes never occur at these shows. RVD came
out in the beginning like a house of fire, hitting Guerrero with everything he
had, Guerrero works the leg building sympathy for Van Dam which disappointingly,
Van Dam does not sell during his comeback. However, the crowd were big into RVD
and it adds to the match so I say it was good.
Winner: RVD
over Eddie Guerrero via Disqualification!
Trish Stratus & Jacqueline vs Molly Holly & Jazz
Terri
interviews Jazz and Molly, Molly rips on the divas who use sex to exploit their
image. Love me some heel Molly Holly, Trish and Jacqueline will be teaming up
to take down the devious heels. Molly and Jazz wipe out Trish to double team
Jacqueline, double suplex on Jacqueline. Atomic drop by Jacqueline, Jacqueline
pounds on Molly. They do the cliché roll on the referee spot, Molly is not
happy. Roll-up by Jacqueline for two, Jazz takes a cheap shot on Jacqueline.
Double clothesline, Jazz nails Jacqueline with a slam, huge leg drop. Irish
whip in the corner, Jazz clotheslines Jacqueline hard, Jazz misses a second leg
drop.
Tag to
Trish, clotheslines to Jazz. Jawbreaker by Jazz, Trish kicks Jazz in the face
and throws in Molly Holly. Chops to the chest of Molly but Jazz smacks Trish
down with a superkick. Kicks to the ribs by Jazz, chickenwing submission by
Jazz. Trish is slammed face first into the mat, two count for Jazz. Tag to
Molly, Molly throws Trish into the mat, handspring elbow by Molly. Jacqueline
makes the save, Molly drags Trish by the hair to her corner. Jazz is legal,
Jazz begins jabbing Trish, Trish blocks the final punch. Forearm to the face
but Molly takes a cheap shot, Jacqueline is with the referee. Trish almost pins
Jazz, roll-up by Jazz for a two count. Neckbreaker by Trish, Jazz fights back
until Jacqueline gets the tag.
Hotshot by
Jacqueline, O Connor Roll for a two count. DDT by Jacqueline and Molly makes
the save. Jacqueline clubs Molly, Jazz takes down Jacqueline for a single leg
Boston crab, Jacqueline crawls and crawls but Jazz drags her back for The STF.
Trish saves Jacqueline, Jacqueline and Trish clothesline their opponents. Molly
pairs off with Jacqueline, dosey doe spot with the faces reversing into a
double springboard bulldog. Trish and Jacqueline walk away with the win.
Good women’s
match, 2002 was looking a hell of a lot different than the previous few years.
Trish was slowly turning into an awesome babyface, Molly, Jazz and Jacqueline
can all work, it is tremendous and I am looking forward to all the way. The
match was fun, it was not sloppy and everyone got to look good in the process.
Bring it on!
Winners:
Trish & Jacqueline over Jazz & Molly via Double Stratusfaction!
X-Pac vs Bradshaw
Bradshaw was
being elevated to his association with Stone Cold Steve Austin and their battle
against The NWO. X-Pac comes to the ring in a Kane mask and wielding nunchucks.
X-Pac exposes a middle turnbuckle before the match starts, lock-up and Bradshaw
tosses off X-Pac. Side headlock by X-Pac, hard knock down by Bradshaw. X-Pac
rakes the eyes and pays for it with a huge big boot. Bradshaw rams X-Pac into
the corner, hard Irish whip and big back body drop. Bradshaw misses a corner
clothesline, kicks to the head by X-Pac. X-Pac attempts a spinning heel kick,
Bradshaw catches X-Pac mid-flight and throws X-Pac to the ground. Irish whip by
Bradshaw goes wrong as X-Pac targets the leg.
X-Pac rams
Bradshaw into the exposed turnbuckle, opening up Bradshaw. X-Pac targets the
knee and uses closed fists to beat down Bradshaw. Spinning heel kick by X-Pac,
Bradshaw is covered in blood as X-Pac continues chopping and kicking Bradshaw.
Nasty boot to the face, choke by X-Pac. Bradshaw attempts a comeback but X-Pac
pokes the eyes and begins the ten punch in the corner. Bradshaw turns the tide
with a massive powerbomb. Bradshaw smacks around X-Pac with right hands and
clotheslines. Powerslam for a two count, hangman’s neckbreaker by Bradshaw.
Bradshaw climbs to the top rope, diving shoulder block.
Cover and
X-Pac gets a two count, X-Pac signals for a top rope move, Bradshaw catches
X-Pac and Bradshaw nails the fallaway slam. Hall sprints down to ringside, Hall
distracts Bradshaw but Bradshaw catches X-Pac with a big boot. Hall is
persistent and attracts Bradshaw for a nunchuck shot, Bradshaw survives the
shot by kicking out at two. X-Pac misses the bronco buster, Clothesline From
Hell hits Scott Hall and X-Pac ducks.
Low blow and
an X-Factor, X-Pac steals a win in what was a fairly standard match, they
worked hard and I am surprised Bradshaw would bleed on a Uk pay per view but
X-Pac opened up that wound. The NWO would make a pay per view appearance at
Judgement Day and would not make it to Vengeance two months later as the group
would fall apart. Group was doomed from the beginning to take this as a high
point in their 2002 run.
Winner:
X-Pac over Bradshaw via low blow & an X-Factor!
Undertaker Promo
Undertaker
loves beating the shit out of people, Triple H is his next victim so it is not
looking good for The Cerebral Assassin. Tonnes of What chnats during the promo
to the point where it’s getting on my nerves.
(WWF Hardcore Championship Match) Steven Richards © vs Booker
T
Booker T has
been a disappointment since his feud with The Rock ended, Booker T feuded with
Edge over a Japanese shampoo commercial but this could mark a turnaround for
Booker as Booker is clearly the babyface in this match. Richards won the
championship thanks to a Jazz assist so Richards is on cloud nine.
Lock-up and
armdrag by Richards, another lock-up with Booker pushing back Richards, kicks
in the corner by Booker T. Booker pulls out a tonne of trash cans and plates
while Richards throws them out of the ring. Richards believes himself to be
king of the ring yet Booker has other plans which include smacking the champion
with a metal tray. Booker tosses Richard to the floor and smashes a broom
across Richard’s back. Richards begs for mercy in the ring, eye poke by
Richards. Massive chops and right hands, Booker turns the tide with a massive
sidekick. Vertical suplex by Booker T, trash can shot to the head of Richards.
Harlem sidekick by Booker for a two count.
Richards
battles back, chops before Booker reverses an Irish whip and eats a flapjack.
Booker rams Richards’ head into the turnbuckle before Richards nails a low blow
to gain control. Tray to the head, cover by Richards and Richards gets a two
count. Back body drop by Booker, Richards elevates Booker to the floor.
Richards hurls a trash can at Booker and only gets a two count. Richards begins
dropping elbows and mocking Booker T. Booker fights back but misses a Harlem
Sidekick which leaves Booker straddling on the top rope. Metal tray shot by
Richards. Richards applies a sleeper, Booker fights out. Scoop slam by Booker,
Richards dropkicks a trash can into Booker’s face.
Richards
wedges a trash can into a corner but Booker T Irish whips Richards into the
trash can, flying forearm and spinebuster by Booker. Sidekick and Booker is on
fire. Richards has a trash can placed on his head, missile dropkick from Booker
and Richards kicks out at two and a half. Richards nails The Stevie Kick for a
two count, Richards misses an elbow. Book-End by Booker T and we have a new
champion. Celebrations do not last as Crash Holly rolls-up Booker T. Scissor
Kick by Booker T on Crash and Booker is champion for the second time on this
night.
Tommy
Dreamer and Justin Credible are here, Dreamer has a table. Booker takes out
Credible and Dreamer and looks to nail a Spinaroonie. Here comes Jazz, low blow
and Richards botches putting Booker through the table the first time but on the
second attempt, Richards regains the title.
Might be the
most technical hardcore match I have ever seen, they were using sleepers and
all. Honestly, Booker was way above this crap but I guess Vince did not see
anything in Booker T. Booker gets a great reaction from the fans but Booker
would go on to try and join The NWO which would mean the company almost failed
to capitalize on Booker’s popularity by making him a heel when there was no
reason for it.
Winner:
Richards over Booker T via flapjack through a table!
The Hardy Boyz vs Brock Lesnar & Shawn Stasiak
Lesnar is
The Next Big Thing, Lesnar destroyed The Hardy Boyz. Lesnar would have single
victories over both Hardys by TKO. Shawn Stasiak makes it to pay per view in
the WWF and it is not a multi-man match or a battle royal. I consider this
achievement for Stasiak. If you do not recall, Stasiak has a planet where he
believes he is on another world called Planet Stasiak where he can hear voices
in his head. Yeah, it is not quite Beaver Cleavage but we are pretty close
ladies and gentlemen.
Stasiak runs
down to the ring to start the match, spinebuster by Stasiak on Jeff Hardy.
Stasiak Irish whips Jeff and nails a sidewalk slam. Two count for Stasiak,
Heyman is screaming at Stasiak to tag Brock and have this match over with in an
instant. Jeff nails a jawbreaker and tags Matt, side effect on Stasiak. Poetry
in Motion misses as Lesnar saves Stasiak. Lesnar tackles Matt and proceeds to
victimize Matt with shoulder tackles. Matt tees off on Lesnar, boots to the
face by Matt. Matt gets caught, series of backbreakers and powerslams by
Lesnar.
Irish whip
by Lesnar and a huge powerslam. Jeff is knocked to the floor by Lesnar, Matt
tries battling back while Lesnar rakes Matt’s face across the top rope.
Stalling vertical suplex by Lesnar, Lesnar smacks Matt into the corner twice, Lesnar runs into the ringpost as Matt
dodges. Stasiak tags himself into the match, Matt tags Jeff. Dropkicks to Stasiak,
leg drop to the sacred parts. Whisper in The Wind for two, Lesnar is knocked
off the apron. Twist of Fate by Matt and Swanton Bomb on Stasiak for the win.
Post-match,
we are treated to two F-5s before Lesnar powerbombs Stasiak into oblivion. Decent
tag match, Lesnar looks like a wrecking machine, Stasiak was surprisingly
entertaining as his delusional character and The Hardy Boyz are always fun to
watch, Stasiak takes the pin to protect Lesnar and Lesnar decimates everyone to
remain strong.
Winners:
The Hardy Boyz over Lesnar & Stasiak via Swanton Bomb!
(WWF European Championship Match) William Regal vs Spike
Dudley ©
Home country
man Regal puts down the crowd even though they love and adore Regal (Life is a
cruel mistress sometimes, I forgive you though Regal). Spike Dudley will be
playing the role of the small superstar Regal underestimates, Regal has fallen
victim to Tajiri and even Crash Holly who would win the European Championship
from Regal at the other UK pay per view Rebellion two years prior.
Big
knockdown by Regal, stomp on the face by the challenger. Cravate lock and a
knee to the face, left hands and forearms by Regal. Spike battles back, forearm
and a dropkick by Spike. Regal begs for mercy yet Spike continues to destroy,
headbutt to the lower area. Regal fights out of The Dudley Dog and Spike falls
to a heap on the ground. Spike may have a fractured ankle after landing on his
feet from a Dudley Dog. A trainer cuts open the boot of Spike as Regal wants to
kill Spike. Spike is being helped out of the ring before Regal kicks Spike by
the ankle and decides he wants to be champion.
Regal steps
on the ankle before nailing a Tigerbomb, Regal goes for the cover and pulls up
Spike at the count of two, Regal wants to hurt Spike. Regal picks up Spike and
Spike cradles Regal for the win to retain his championship. Regal lays out
Spike after the match with a massive Power of the Punch with the brass
knuckles.
More of an
angle than a match but why did Regal lose? If Regal takes advantage of Spike’s
injury, roughs up Spike and wins due to Spike not being at 100%, is that not a
better story to tell than Spike still winning despite his injury? Were they
saving the title change for Raw or was it part of the whole wrestlers cannot
win in their hometown/country?
Winner:
Spike Dudley over William Regal via inside cradle!
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Big Show
Austin had
problems, Austin had been screwed out of an undisputed championship match by
bad officiating from Ric Flair and The NWO are breathing down The Rattlesnake’s
neck, becoming stronger as The Big Show has joined (or rather, re-joined) the
group. Big Show would turn on Austin in a tag match on Raw and my thoughts on
The Big Show in the WWF goes as follows: A huge disappointment who does not look
motivated by any means.
To be fair,
I have come to love Show in his later years in the WWE but in WCW and his run
in the WWE before facing Brock Lesnar, Show never seemed to live up to the hype
or deliver that big match. The match begins with a little controversy as Ric Flair
makes himself the special guest referee for the match, could Flair be trying to
mend broken bridges with Austin?
Austin and
Show trade insults before the lock-up, Show overpowers Austin with ease. Second
lock-up, Show shoves back Austin. Third lock-up and Austin is shoved down for a
third time. We have a fat bastard chant for Show, Show continues to toy with
Austin, elbow by Show knocks down Austin. Austin bails to the floor. Austin
wants a test of strength before kicking Show over and over, Show cuts off
Austin with a clothesline. Austin retreats to the corner, another lock-up with
Show chest slapping Austin. Three shots to the chest of Austin, Irish whip by
Show goes wrong as Austin kicks the legs of Show. Show goes down and there’s a
massive shot to the groin. Austin continues to work the leg with elbows to Show’s
knees.
Austin rams
Show’s knee into the ringpost before stepping all over Show’s knee. Show gets
back to his feet and headbutts Austin, Austin takes Show down with a tackle and
applies a leg lock. Show rips at Austin’s head to escape the hold, chopblock by
Austin. More leg work from The Rattlesnake, Show catches Austin for a scoop
slam. Elbow drop by Show, more chest slaps. Show tosses Austin around the ring
and steps on the back of Austin. Clubs to the back by Show, suplex by Show.
Austin backs into the corner and kicks Show’s leg before Austin eats a back
body drop from Show. Second back body drop by Show, Austin is in big trouble.
Show steps on Austin’s back, huge clothesline by Show. Cover and a two for
Show, Show stomps and elbows Austin. Austin fires up for a moment before Show
clubs Austin and applies the bearhug.
Crowd comes
alive for Austin, Austin bites the head of Show. Show headbutts Austin, another
bearhug. Austin headbutts his way out of the hold, Show eats a boot to the face
twice. Middle rope Lou Thesz Press by Austin, Show swats Austin away. Huge
rights from Austin and Show counters with a big boot, Show clotheslines the
referee by mistake. Stunner by Austin and here comes Hall and X-Pac. Hall and
X-Pac drag out Flair, Flair runs off Hall and Nash. Show is on his feet,
Chokeslam? No Austin fights out, big boot by Show. Show clubs Austin and
headbutts The Rattlesnake. Kevin Nash is in the ring, Stunner on Nash and
Stunner on Show, make it two Stunners on Show and Austin escapes with the win.
Flair scares off Nash with a chair and Stunners Ric Flair once again.
A match that
was very good with very little happening, Show and Austin take it easy in front
of the crowd but still managed to hold onto them for the whole match. Might
just have been the easiest payday in both men’s careers. Austin powdering and
bailing was a little strange though, babyfaces are meant to powder. As for
Show, it looks like Show was still no monster despite his heel turn and joining
the NWO. Seems like a waste of time but The NWO were a waste of time in the
WWF.
Winner:
Stone Cold Steve Austin over Big Show via Stunner!
Triple H vs The Undertaker
Undertaker
cost Triple H the undisputed championship as Undertaker thought it would be
easier to beat Hulk Hogan. Sound strategy from The Deadman but Triple H was not
happy, Triple H wanted revenge so we have this match between the number one
contender and the former champion. It was certainly a weird time for Triple H
who had been positioned as the top babyface at Wrestlemania yet by the next
month’s pay per view. Triple H was no longer champion and out of the title
picture.
Triple H and
Taker exchange big shots, high knee by The Game and back body drop by Triple H.
Huge clothesline and Taker is on the floor, Taker lures in The Game and rocks
The Game’s world. Triple H regains control by shoving Taker into the ringpost,
hard right hands by Triple H. Undertaker knocks down Triple H in the ring,
shoulder thrusts by The Deadman. Taker looks for Old School but Triple H yanks
Taker off the top rope, suplex by The Game. Elbow drop and a cover, Triple H
gets a two count. Taker plays possum and throws Triple H to the floor, Triple H
clotheslines Taker on the outside. Triple H hammers away at Taker on the apron,
Taker blocks a right hand and hotshots The Game. Corner clothesline by Taker,
Taker slides out to the floor and elbows Triple H across the throat.
Leg drop
across Triple H’s neck, Triple H blocks a corner clothesline, right hands by
The Game. Taker ducks a clothesline and goes after Triple H’s injured knee. The
top rope breaks as Undertaker hits the rope hard, low blow by Taker. Taker
slaps on a sleeper, Triple H escapes with a back suplex. Double knockdown in
the middle of the ring, Taker misses a big boot and is straddled on the top
rope. Neckbreaker by Triple H, right hands by The Game. Another neckbreaker by
Triple H, spinebuster for a two count. Triple H looks for a Pedigree, Taker
shoves off The Game and nails a big boot.
Triple H
counters a chokeslam with a DDT, two count for Triple H. Facebuster by The Game
but Undertaker nails The Chokeslam. Triple H kicks out at two, Taker strolls to
the outside and grabs a chair. Triple H big boots the chair into Taker’s face
for another two count. DDT by Taker, cover and a two count for Taker. Taker
went for his dragon sleeper, Triple H nails a clothesline. Snake eyes by Taker
but Triple H nails a high knee. Pedigree by Triple H and Triple H walks away
with the win.
Another
enjoyable match, they took it easy and the rope breaking made the moves a
little more difficult to execute which led to little changes. Not the intense
hate filled brawl you would think of when you hear the story of Taker running Triple
H’s chances at being undisputed champion and that Triple H laid out Taker on
Raw. From what I saw, this could be a good match and the WWF were building to a
match between the two as Hulkamania was not running as wild as it did when Hogan
first came back, there was a title change that was coming. Overall, a fine main
event match that sent the fans home happy!
Winner:
Triple H over Undertaker via Pedigree!
Insurrextion
was a by the books UK pay per view, no title changes, the faces going over and
matches were more fun than serious. The women’s match stands out as it was so
different to the other tag matches that the women had done on pay per view,
everyone could wrestle in that match and they showed that this women’s division
on Raw meant business. The card was filled with matches that were not too long
and easy on the eyes, there was nothing that was horrible on the card so, it
was good but felt like an extended Raw in terms of quality. That wraps up
another pay per view review, I hope you have had a great Christmas and a happy
new year. I am signing off and remember, there is always another night!
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