Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that continues to be more bizarre than a Billy Jack Haynes shoot interview! It’s time for Clash of The Champions VII: Guts and Glory! Headlined by a tournament for the vacant tag team championships following the controversy between The Varsity Club and The Road Warriors following the actions of crooked referee Teddy Long. We also have Terry Funk who is red-hot following his brutal assault of Ric Flair taking on Ricky The Dragon Steamboat and a bunch of other random shit because WCW in 1989 is all over the place! Let’s get it on!
(Tag Tournament Semi-Finals Match) The Dynamic Dudes vs The Fabulous Freebirds
Jimmy Garvin is now a freebird after being absent following his feud with The Varsity Club, The Dudes nail stereo belly to back suplexes on the Freebirds. Terry Gordy is at ringside and this crowd is rampant by the way. This will be a tremendous aid to everyone involved, Hayes and Ace to begin officially. Hayes misses a kick and is peppered by both Dudes. Eye-rake from Hayes, in comes Garvin who eats an arm-drag. Douglas and Ace work the arm, diving axe handle from Ace. Double hip-toss and elbow drop, Garvin is in serious trouble before Garvin double-legs Douglas. Tag to Hayes who kicks and struts all over Douglas, right hands from Hayes.
Sunset flip from Douglas for two, tag to Ace. We reset as Hayes backs off, boot and chop from Hayes. Tag to Garvin, Hayes drills Garvin by mistake. Ace lands a right for a close two, Irish whip with Ace missing a flying crossbody. Garvin comes in with a massive stomp, Ace is dropped across the top rope. Big slam from Garvin for two, Ace is dumped to the floor. Hayes chops Ace down on the floor, Ace meets the guardrail. Ace fights out of the headlock and they bang heads, tag to Douglas who comes in with big right hands. Back body-drop and one for Garvin too, noggin-knocker. Garvin whips Douglas, Douglas slides through the legs for the sunset flip but Hayes makes the save.
The match breaks down, double dropkick to Hayes who is down. Double back body-drop to Garvin, the match is still a lot of brawling. Ace throws Hayes to the floor, Garvin tries a scoop slam but Douglas counters for an O’Connor roll. The referee is with Ace as Hayes sneaks in and plants Douglas with a vicious DDT, allowing Garvin to steal the win for his team.
Solid match made even better by a fantastic crowd, they are white-hot for the in-ring action and I do not have a problem with that at all, this could be a great show if the crowd continues to be as hot as this!
Winners: Fabulous Freebirds over The Dynamic Dudes via DDT!
Ranger Ross vs The Terrorist
Could you get anymore on the nose? The Terrorist attacks Ross from behind and chokes him with his jacket before Ross lands a flying forearm. Dropkick too, scoop slam for good measure. Elbow drop for two, shot to the ribs and the back of the head. Irish whip and leapfrogs before The Combat Kick for the win. Why bother when it is so brief?
Winner: Ranger Ross over The Terrorist via Combat Kick!
The Ding-Dongs vs George South & Cougar Jay
They ring the bell and they power up because they are ding-dongs motherfucker. Ding in the ring, shoulder block by Ding. Ear-smack from Ding, Jay lands elbows but Ding counters for an ugly-looking sunset flip which the fans shit on, the bell ringing is constant which is beyond trash. Tag to South who eats a slingshot leg-drop to his arm. Side headlock by South, Ding Dong 2 continues to land head-scissors to counter. Shove-off and criss-cross, double hip-tosses by The Ding-Dongs. South lands big right hands before eating a Lou-Thesz Press for two. Scoop slam by Ding Dong 1, tag to Ding Dong 2 who lands a splash. Arm-drag into the arm-bar, South fights out but misses a headbutt. Belly to belly suplex into an elbow drop and knee-drop combination and it’s over. Infamous gimmick, say no more as it looks horrific.
Winners: The Ding-Dongs over Cougar Jay & George South via Elbow-Drop/Knee-Drop Combination!
(Tag Tournament Semi-Finals Match) The Midnight Express W/ Jim Cornette vs The Samoan Swat-Team W/ Paul E. Dangerously
We start hot with attacks, Lane and Eaton gain control quickly. Lane and Fatu start officially, right hands to the ribs from Lane. Tag to Eaton, drop toehold into the elbow drop. Tag to Lane who lands a karate kick to the ribs and an elbow to the head, double elbow as Eaton comes into the ring. Samu is cracked too, Eaton lands a gut shot and a neck-breaker. Shot to Samu, another tag to Lane. Leapfrog splash from Lane, tag to Eaton. Running bulldog from Eaton, Samu enters illegally and cracks Eaton. Samu and Fatu land a double military press on Eaton. Fatu lands a clothesline on Eaton, tag to Samu and they land a double strike on Eaton. Eaton is chopped to the floor, Fatu roughs up Eaton on the floor with a devastating suplex.
Lane checks on his partner, Samu continues to dish out the punishment with a massive leg-drop. Fatu and Samu batter Eaton, Lane continues to watch on with Cornette. Whip to the buckle, Eaton dodges the corner spear and Fatu cracks his head hard. Tag to Lane who lands his kicks, flying forearm and more kicks. Russian leg-sweep on Fatu with Samu coming in, it is breaking down again. Fatu kicks Lane in the face, the referee is down. The Road Warriors are here and they take down Fatu with a double clothesline, the crowd pops massively as Lane pins Fatu for the win.
Lots of brief matches here tonight, happy that The Midnight Express won as they are just so good inside of that ring, looks like we are having The Road Warriors vs The Samoan Swat Team which will be good. Crowd has a lot of energy so keep it up boys!
Winners: The Midnight Express over The Samoan Swat-Team via Double Clothesline!
Terry Gordy vs Dr. Death Steve Williams
Fucking meaty! Terry Gordy and Steve Williams were tag team partners in AJPW, a very dominant team but that does not matter for much here in The States. They start hot, they brawl before introductions and Williams takes out the leg of Gordy. Massive shoulder block, Williams wants something big. Gordy catches Williams coming in with a vicious lariat. Whip to the buckle and corner clothesline from Gordy, knees to the head from Gordy. More brawling between these two big bastards, crowds are going insane for this war. Jabs from Williams, headbutt from Williams. Gordy hugs the waist to stop the onslaught, Gordy transitions to a dirty belly to back suplex.
Reverse chin-lock from Gordy, Williams slips out and lands a scoop slam. Make it two, Gordy rolls out to the floor. They are slugging it out on the floor, big massive rights from both. Gordy jumps Williams who was trying to re-enter the ring, flying crossbody from Williams for two. Right jabs from Williams and a massive dropkick, Gordy rolls to the floor and takes a breather. Eye-rake from Gordy, Irish whip is reversed and Williams elbows Gordy to the floor. Gordy is thinking about leaving, they continue to brawl before the referee calls a double count-out.
Disappointing as the start to this match is as close to perfection as possible, it’s everything I wanted to see because for months I had to suffer and not see Williams be a big monster who bulldozes everything but here, we have what I want. Two people killing on another, everything that I want to see from a wrestling match. Shame we did not have a finish!
Norman The Lunatic W/ Teddy Long vs Mike Justice
A mental patient who is going to wrestle for us, what fun! Norman clubs Justice down, massive clothesline takes down Justice. Headbutt from Norman, Irish whip to the buckle. Corner shoulder block and a pin for the win. Big debut for The Lunatic!
Winner: Norman The Lunatic over Mike Justice via Corner Shoulder Block!
The Varsity Club vs The Steiner Brothers W/ Missy Hyatt
Mike Rotunda and Kevin Sullivan continue their feud with Rick Steiner but now Rick is backed up by his brother Scott and we are seeing the early version of one of the most iconic tag teams of the 90s. Scott does not have his singlet just yet but we are getting closer to what we want to see and what we love.
Sullivan and Scott to start, Sullivan clubs down Scott but Scott fights back and bounces Sullivan off the turnbuckles. Clothesline and right hands from Scott, Rick batters Rotunda with right hands and the crowd is into Rick Steiner. Sullivan eats a powerslam from Scott, Sullivan tags in Rotunda. Rotunda wants Rick, shoulder block from Rotunda and Rick lands a hip-toss and a clothesline. Sullivan gets rocked by a clothesline from Scott, Rick knocks down Sullivan with a huge clothesline. Sullivan is flustered by Rick, they lock-up. Rick is in the heels’ corner but fights right out of that corner, Sullivan tags in Rotunda.
Side headlock from Rick, tag to Scott. Rotunda sends Scott to the buckle, Scott lands a flying crossbody for two. Scott wants the suplex but Rotunda blocks before Sullivan and Rotunda suplex Scott to the floor, nasty looking spot right there. Sullivan comes in and boots Scott down, Rick is with the referee. Rotunda comes in and lands a dropkick, double underhook suplex for two. Scott is showing great heart here, Rotunda lands a massive clothesline. Front chancery from Rotunda, Rick is tagged in but Sullivan had the referee distracted. Rotunda misses the dropkick though, big moment here. Rick comes in with right hands to both Varsity Club members.
Irish whip and double clothesline to Rotunda, there is a chair in the ring. Scott slams Rotunda but Rotunda puts up the knees to block a splash. Rotunda suplexes Scott onto the chair and the referee does not see Rotunda use the chair, we have our winners!
Another solid tag team match, The Steiners are explosive with their clotheslines and suplexes, they are so much fun to watch. And I must say in small bites, Rotunda is not too bad. Shows great viciousness here so I think the man was meant to be a tag team guy, I am not sure what made them think he was meant to be a singles star.
Winners: The Varsity Club over The Steiner Brothers via Suplex onto The Chair!
(NWA Television Championship Match) Sting © vs Bill Irwin
The Stinger is here to kick all sort of ass, Wild Bill has a leather bull whip which does not allow Sting to enter the ring, the referee is trying very hard to get the whip away from Irwin. Sting manages to get in and lands a massive face-buster, dropkick in the corner. Irwin and Sting start brawling, corner knee from Irwin. Drop onto the rope, Sting is tossed throat-first into the top rope. Elbow to the face, Sting begins to shake off the attacks of Irwin. Sting kicks the head of Irwin, right hands and kicks from Sting. Back-rake from Sting, suplex from Sting for two. Irwin and Sting trade blows, right hands by Sting. Stinger Splash misses, Irwin slams Sting down with a spine-buster. Irwin is looking at the top rope, Irwin is thinking of using the whip but Sting lands The Stinger Splash and rolls-up Irwin for the win.
Lots of quick matches on this night, really difficult to rate it all. The fans are with the matches and the stars but there is a serious lack of substance and urgency to this show, all that matters is that main event to be honest.
Winner: Sting over Bill Irwin via Roll-Up!
(NWA World Tag Team Championship Tournament Final Match) The Fabulous Freebirds vs The Midnight Express
The Freebirds reunited when Hayes defeated Luger for the United States Championship at WrestleWar 1989, Gordy was the deciding factor in that match, shoving Hayes on top of Luger. That reign lasted two weeks, Cornette is knocked out before the match begins as Paul E. Dangerously nails Cornett with a racket to the back of the head. Hayes and Lane to begin the match, hip-toss and scoop slam from Lane. Arm-drags before Hayes tags out of the match, drop toehold into the elbow drop for two. Eaton corners Garvin who cowers in fear, Garvin meets the knee of Eaton. Double elbow for two, Garvin backs into the corner again. Crowd is still hot, Hayes thinks about going into the crowd with Gordy coming around and you know shit is going to get real if Gordy is involved.
Garvin and Hayes lure in Eaton and put the boots to Beautiful Bobby, Hayes takes down Eaton and chokes the life out of Eaton. Eaton is sent through the ropes and into the guardrail, Lane stands over his partner protecting him from attacks. Elbow into the nose from Hayes, Eaton sells it really well. Garvin rakes the face of Eaton, Hayes distracts the referee. Eaton meets the guardrail again, Lane continues to protect his partner. Double elbow from The Freebirds, snap-mare into a reverse-chin-lock. Eaton fights his way out and Lane comes in with massive kicks to the ribs, Lane misses a corner elbow though. In comes Hayes, Lane cracks Hayes with a DDT. Tag to Eaton who lands kicks and punches on The Freebirds, noggin-knocker as Lane dropkicks Hayes to the floor.
Double back body-drop to Hayes, forearm to Hayes who is on the floor. Garvin is yanked into the ring, double flapjack from The Express. Lane and Hayes are brawling, Gordy comes in and Powerbombs Eaton with Garvin covering with a handful of tights just to make sure.
Again, decent action inside of the ring. Not sure of putting the championships on The Freebirds but when you look at the division, I don’t know if you can do much better than Garvin and Hayes. I do think The Midnight Express deserved the championships but let’s hope the matches between these two continue to deliver.
Winners: The Fabulous Freebirds over The Midnight Express via Powerbomb!
Terry Funk vs Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
A top ten list of contenders for the championship held by Ric Flair, Ric Flair was brutally assaulted by Funk following the conclusion of his trilogy with The Dragon, a piledriver on the table almost broke the neck of The Nature Boy. Funk’s actions were so vile and disgusting that Steamboat decided he would take on Funk despite Funk’s status as number 10 on the list and Steamboat being the number one contender.
Funk and Steamboat go to the ropes, the referee is trying to separate these two competitors. They lock-up again, massive chops from Funk. Steamboat chops back, Funk is pissed. Lock-up, Funk slaps Steamboat but Steamboat slaps back and rocks The Funker. Funk re-evaluates before stepping back in the ring, shoulder block by Funk. Make it two, double chop from Steamboat. Dropkick from Steamboat, Funk is on the floor once more. Funk comes in with lefts, Steamboat is dumped to the floor. Elbow to the back of the neck from Funk, Steamboat chops back at the deranged Funk. Funk meets the guardrail hard, Funk tackles Steamboat and starts nailing right hands to the eye of Steamboat. Funk steps on the face of Steamboat, neck-breaker from Funk who continues to work the neck and shoulders.
Steamboat comes up with chops, Irish whip but Funk counters and lands a big left-hand. Steamboat fires up again with chops, Funk flips to the floor. Steamboat lands a diving chop to the head of Funk, Funk is slammed hard on the floor. Steamboat whips Funk to the buckle, boot counter from Funk. Left hands and chops from Funk, elbow to the face. Texas Piledriver from Funk for two, Steamboat staggers to his feet and chops back. Funk sends Steamboat into the referee, Funk whips Steamboat over the top rope. Funk piledrives Steamboat on the floor, suplex into the ring from Funk. 1…2… Steamboat squeezes out at the last second. Left fists to the face, Steamboat is knocked loopy at this point. Funk climbs high, Steamboat dodges the splash with his knees. Irish whip and a gut punch, gut-buster from Steamboat.
Steamboat is on the top rope, diving chop from Steamboat and an enzuigiri from Steamboat. Funk is on the announce table, Funk cracks Steamboat with his microphone and we get a DQ. Lex Luger comes down to the ring for the first time tonight, Funk does not want to fight Luger. Luger wants the microphone, Luger has something to say. Luger talks about recent events, people saying that Luger has a big Ego and a selfish motherfucker but that cannot be true. Luger clotheslines Steamboat, Steamboat is barely able to stand as Luger smashes Steamboat. Steamboat begs off who cannot stand, Luger cracks Steamboat in the back with the chair. The Torture Rack from the ruthless Luger, Sting comes out after the vicious assault and that’s a wrap.
Good stuff from Funk and Steamboat, quite heated exchanges between the two and Funk keeps up with a very game Steamboat who has done nothing but have stellar matches since coming to WCW. The finish feels a little flat, I guess Flair is going to be so enraged by the actions of Funk that they will simply have to have a match which is fine, would have been interesting to have Funk topple Steamboat to give Funk more credibility heading into his matches from Flair but what a heel turn, I felt they had messed up Luger since his babyface turn and match with Flair at the Clash. A meaningless US Championship run did him no favours either so a heel Luger with Steamboat will be fun because Steamboat like Flair knows how to get the best out of The Total Package.
Winner: Ricky Steamboat over Terry Funk via DQ!
That was WCW’s Clash of The Champions VII: Guts and Glory, one of the easiest watches I have ever done for the review series, there is not a whole lot in terms of substance apart from the main event featuring Lex Luger turning heel but I can’t really fault the show. They are making moves in WCW, we have a new heel top tag team in The Freebirds, The Steiner Brothers are going to be massive in the future, Sting is picking up wins and becoming increasingly over. Luger and Steamboat should be good while Terry Funk has sparked life into a company that was looking stale and weak with the loss of The Horsemen. There is hope yet for WCW but will all the pieces fall into place? We shall see, final thoughts of this show are an easy watch but don’t expect anything special. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!